Lilly's POV

After getting our drinks and putting our orders in I turned to Shaky with a grin on my face, letting out a snicker.

"I can't believe you really ordered both," I laughed. Shaky laughed back and shrugged.

"Whatever I don't eat I can take home," he said. I shook my head as I kept my smile on my face and then turned to Rick.

"So, are you and Kate gonna do some extra celebrating tonight?" I teased as I touched his arm for a second. Something seemed off though. Rick seemed to just be sitting down and looking at the table. He didn't seem happy or content just… sad?

"Oh uh… I don't know, it's really up to her honestly" he said flatly. My smile faded as I picked up that something was wrong.

"Are you alright?" I asked. His eyes darted up to me and then he sighed.

"I think I just… need a minute" he said as he slid out of the booth. Me and Shaky watched as he stood up and then walked away from the table.

"What was that?" Shaky asked. I kept my eyes on Rick as he walked out the front door, seemingly in a hurry.

"I don't know, I'm gonna go check on him" I said before taking a quick sip of my drink.

"Damn, gonna leave me alone huh?" Shaky asked.

"I'll be right back. Plus, Kate and Humphrey should be back any minute" I reminded before sliding out of the booth myself. Shaky shrugged to himself and then pulled out his phone. I made my way out of the building, getting hit with the cold air as I opened up the door and then turned to where I thought he would go. The only place I could think of was his truck. I walked around the building and so on and as I made my way around once more I could see his truck finally. It was closed and at first I couldn't see him and thought it was empty, but after closer examining everything I saw his head against the steering wheel as he rested on his arm, his arm laying across the wheel. I got another bad feeling and walked over to the truck on the passenger side and went to try the door, pulling it open. When I did I could see that Rick was leaning on the wheel, bawling his eyes out. He turned to me instantly, his heart probably dropping. He sat up instantly, trying to play everything off as if I didn't just catch him.

"H-hey Lilly '' he said as tears stained his face. I felt really bad for him but… I wasn't sure why.

"Can I come in?" I asked. Rick hesitated but eventually gave me a hand gesture to tell me to come inside. I climbed in, closing the door behind me and sitting in the passenger seat. It was silent for a moment but eventually I spoke again as Rick avoided eye contact. "What's wrong? Did something happen between you and Kate?" I asked. Again Rick looked at me and then he shook his head.

"No. nothing at all like that, it's just… oh God Lilly… I've spent all these years in school with my mom always talking about graduation and college and… I finally graduated and… she wasn't there" he said before breaking down again, crying and resting against the wheel once more. "My mom, my dad, my sister. They would have been so happy to see everything. And they weren't there! I knew they wouldn't be and I tried to prepare for it but… still I looked out expecting to see them when I took that diploma… there was none of them… and when I went back down there was no one to go to" Rick sobbed. I went to respond to him but I felt my phone vibrate. I scoffed, checking to see who it was. It was just Humphrey asking if everything was alright. How the hell did he know what was going on? I sent him a quick text and then put the phone back in my pocket before turning back to the bigger issue.

"But… What about us? You could have come to us" I reminded him. He sniffed before continuing.

"Yeah… I could have, but I'm not your parents kid. I wanted to let them have their moment without stopping to give me their pity… and… and… I wanted my parents… I-I want w-wanted my God damn parents" Rick cried, looking away from me again. He continued to cry as I watched, not knowing what to say. I've never been put in this situation before. But to be honest every time we hung out now I felt sad simply because Angel wasn't here. Even now I expected her to sit next to Shaky, and seeing a small open spot next to him in that booth showed that he felt the same. It was if we were all just waiting for her to come back but we all knew it would never happen. It saddened me but just like the very beginning no one felt worse about it all than Rick did.

"Rick… I… I really don't know what to say" I confessed. Rick kept his head down as he replied.

"D-don't say anything. Just leave me alone" he cried. I didn't want to leave him alone though, I wanted to help him. If I could just figure out something, anything.

"I'm not gonna leave you alone like this" I told him.

"Lilly please!" he said as he sat up and turned to me. We locked eyes and said nothing as he continued to sob. Again I felt frozen and had no idea what to say. Finally I thought of something. Hopefully he would let me do this. Slowly I reached up to him and over to his cheek. He continued to sob to himself quietly as my white hand slowly made its way over. I was trying to be as careful and nonthreatening as I could. Finally my hand cupped his soft cheek, his fur felt wet from the tears and he closed his eyes, beginning to cry harder again. I then reached with my other hand to pull him closer and because his eyes were closed I felt comfortable moving quicker. I pulled him close to me and finally into a hug, his head being placed just under my muzzle as he cried into me. It was a sad scene and for that reason I had to stop myself from crying as well. As he cried finally I thought of something to say.

"Shhh, it's okay. We're still here, and we'll take care of you I promise" I said gently.

"You… you've all done so much" Rick cried. I gave him a soft kiss on the head and went to stroke his hair to calm him down. He sobbed quietly as I did so.

"We've done the bare minimum" I said. Rick didn't reply, he just continued to sob until eventually I spoke again. "You look great by the way. It wasn't until today that I realized just how much you've recovered. I think you're more than back to your old self" I said. It was true but really I was just trying to take the next step in cheering him up. It didn't work so I kept talking. "Oh Rick… when I Thought you died I… I tried to tell myself that I was all out of tears and that's why I didn't stay on it for so long but… it was a lie… it was all a lie. Humphrey and I were crushed and I spent every night crying over you. You were my first real crush after all, even before Humphrey believe it or not. So now that you're back I… I couldn't be more happy. I'm sure Kate has already said this to you but I wish I could take the pain away" I rambled. Finally Rick said something.

"Your sister does a good job… I just wish I wasn't such a burden" he said. I felt my face grow confused as I broke the hug, making Rick pull away, rubbing his eyes.

"What do you mean? You're not a burden" I said. He shook his head.

"Yeah… I am… maybe not to you but I come into your mothers house. I crash there, I mope around, I eat her food, and depending on how you look at it I take her daughter and her time from her. I'm a huge burden and I can never thank your parents enough for what they've done for me" Rick explained. What he said made sense but none of it was true.

"Rick, my parents love you. My mom literally thinks your her son. She's always loved you. She wouldn't have ever made the offer for you to come live with us if she didn't" I replied.

"Maybe, but I feel like it was just more of a moral thing," Rick said. By now he had gotten most of his sorrow out and was just wiping his tears from his eyes, no longer crying. Still I could tell he had more but the progress we were making was good.

"Your wrong. She's always talked good about you and let you stay the night. Nothing has changed since then. We all love you. You've made an impact on our lives that can't be replaced. Whether you realize it or not we're more than happy to have you, and you don't mope around. I've seen you with Kate, she makes you smile more than ever" I explained, again making Rick smile just a bit at the thought of my sister. "See?" I added. His smile faded.

"Yeah, I do love her, and I want to give her the best life I possibly can. I've tried to do everything and I still will continue to but sometimes I feel like I can't do that. Without my family there is just a hole in me that always reminds me that it's there. I hate it and I wish it would just go away. If they were still here I would have my sister to love, Shaky wouldn't feel so trapped and limited, and I could continue to make your sister happy without pause" Rick listed.

"You have no idea how happy you make her though" I said.

"I try, that's about all I can do" Rick replied.

"You succeed. She's not the only one either. Me, Humphrey, Shaky… you make us all happy as well, and believe me we all share that same hole you're talking about. We're never gonna be able to move on, but we can carry on as best as we can. Does that make sense?" I asked. Rick nodded, causing me to smile. "Good… are you okay to head back now?" I asked.

"I… I think so… thanks Lills" Rick thanked.

"Anytime. I know Kate is your go to but you can always come to me too you know" I offered. Rick smiled back.

"I know I can. Thank you" he said. I turned and opened the door, knowing that while I didn't fix his problem I was at least able to help him for now. I think it somewhat comforted him to know that we were all going through the same exact problem, and while we weren't feeling as bad about it as he was, at least he knew he wasn't alone.

My feet hit the ground and I shut the door. I then walked around to the other side of the truck to meet him. Once I was there I offered my hand to him, just as a final effort to let him know he wasn't alone. He chuckled and then accepted it. After that we walked back inside hand in hand for what was a fun rest of the night.

Kate's POV

The next morning I awoke to the usual drowsy feeling I normally got when waking up from a long and deep sleep. I used to hate the feeling of it all but thanks to being wrapped in my lover's arms all night, not only did it help me sleep better but it made up for everything. Yes it made it harder to wake up and even harder to actually get a move on for the day but I loved it all. Usually I was always the first to wake up so I got the pleasure of feeling the tightness of our hug as the two of us slept with an extremely thin layer of sweat from all the warmth that we generated throughout the night. It only made it that much more cozy though.

Just like any other morning I smiled, nuzzling my lover and taking in his scent before giving his neck a lick. I could hear the familiar sound of my saliva crackling as my tongue made its way up Rick's soft neck. Afterwards I nuzzled into him even further. I was so glad I didn't have to wake up to go to school anymore. College would be hard if I got a dorm because we would be separated so I wasn't sure how that would work but for now at least I didn't have to worry about getting up and leaving him. That was the hardest of all.

At least it was warm out during those times. Even so it was almost impossible. Rick would wake up from my alarm and it was practically impossible to split us up. He felt bad making me go to school without him but because of his recovery at the time I understood why he wanted to stay. He offered to come regardless, which was more than sweet but I told him not to. We would make out for a while before I finally rolled out of bed to get to school. We had to stop ourselves from having sex a couple of times which was even harder but again, thankfully I didnt have to fight that urge anymore. Not the same way anyway.

After everything happened last night we had fun but I really wanted to know what happened between Rick and Lilly in his truck. I felt as though I had an idea but I didn't want to assume. I was thinking he was upset about graduation earlier. Again I couldn't blame him but I still wanted him to know that there were people here who more than loved him. I will admit though it was odd to see them walk into the restaurant holding hands so whatever they talked about must have been on a deeper level. I knew though that I could ask him about it and he would be honest with me and tell me everything immediately. We trusted each other and always knew we could talk. Something not a whole lot of couples had which I was grateful for. I really couldn't have asked for a better partner. I was also happy knowing that my sister had the same situation even with that one hiccup. As for Shaky… he did have that at one point.

I whimpered at the thought of it all as I nuzzled into Rick's neck again, stirring him from his sleep. I heard him inhale through his nose which was the type that you breathe in when you first wake up. He exhaled and then nuzzled me, giving the top of my head a short but wet kiss which made me smile and feel warm inside, causing me to nuzzle him again.

"Your awake?" he asked gently. I exhaled warmly through my nose as my muzzle stayed buried in his neck.

"M-hm" I hummed. He chuckled and then gave the top of my head another wet kiss. I puckered my lips to give him a kiss as well. My lips pecked his neck, making a soft pecking sound as I moved my arm around his back and felt him up. After seeing him yesterday I was even more horny for him. I've craved him for so long and I was pretty sure he craved me too. Every Night I was so wet going to sleep, humping his leg softly as I went to sleep. I was never full on going at it but it was enough to relax me. My panties were always drowning though, and a sweet release was long overdue.

I shifted my leg and felt his morning wood against it, making me giggle. Finally I pulled my muzzle out of his neck and raised my head a bit to give him a kiss on the lips. They connected, feeling warm and wet. I shivered audibly as we kissed, feeling as if I was a step closer to getting what I wanted, what I… needed. Rick reached for my cheek, taking his left hand off my back to cup it. He played with the soft fur there as our tongues pressed together lightly. I felt a tingle down below, making me release a bit of natural lubricant. I broke the kiss and pulled back, raising my head off the pillow and breathing heavily.

"Do you… do you want to…" I began, making Rick smile.

"I wouldn't want anything else," he said sweetly. My heart melted, causing me to want him even more. Eagerly I pressed my lips against him again and began to get on top of him, lining up our privates and getting ready to dry hump him. Even Though my panties were soaked. Really I wanted nothing more than to feel him plow me into the bed or to make love, but I was just so horny that I needed to just get this out of me before going for proper seconds. I kept our lips connected and our tongues licking as I humped his morning wood through our underwear. I couldn't believe that it had actually been four months since we had sex. Honestly I didn't know if I could keep quiet but I also didn't even know if our parents were home. As for Lilly though she spent the night at Humphrey's and they without a doubt had sex. The only reason we didn't was because I could tell Rick was upset about something and I didn't want to force anything on him. But now I could tell he was as thirsty as I was, raising his head off the pillow to suck at my tongue as I humped him. I moved to his neck to suck on it but also to speak for a moment.

"Take those off" I said, pulling at his boxers with my right hand. I felt his left hand as he went to do it, making me get off of him to take my shirt and panties off. With his one piece of clothing to take off though he was done first and didn't wait for me to finish before kissing me again. He went to suck on my neck, making me laugh and yelp playfully. Thankfully I managed to get them off and push him back down. I went in to suck at his mouth again before going for my shirt. It wouldn't be long before he was inside me. I took it off and threw it behind me, laying on him to kiss even more. Now fully nude I could finally feel everything and it was just as I remembered. I could barely contain myself as I felt him on my soft butt. I went to suck on his neck again, burying my head in the pillow as I raised my lower half up, but just as I grabbed his penis my phone began to ring, stopping operations. We froze, panting on each other before locking eyes.

"Do you wanna ignore it?" Rick asked. I giggled and then went to smother his lips with my own again but let go after a few seconds.

"Lets see" I said, reaching for it. It was only then that I realized that we had somehow shifted over to my side of the bed. I grabbed my phone and saw it was Humphrey calling me. I didn't have a good feeling about it. My smile faded and Rick saw that as he looked up at me.

"Kate?" he asked, concerned.

"Hang on" I told him, answering the call and putting the phone to my ear before getting off of Rick and laying down on his side of the bed. "Yeah?" I said.

"Hey Kate. So Shaky had a little problem to deal with and wanted to talk to Lilly so I'm by myself right now. I thought it would be the perfect time to come over and uh… do what we talked about last night" Humphrey explained. My heart sank as I realized that I still had to do that.

"Um… right now? Where are you? And is Shaky okay?" I asked.

"I asked Lilly the same thing, she says it should be fine but she'll call me if she needs to. Nothing too serious I don't think but she wanted to get over there in a hurry. As for me I just dropped her off so I figured now would be the perfect time since I can be there in like six minutes" Humphrey explained. I said nothing, not wanting to tell Rick. I still had so many fears about how he would think of me. "Kate… this has to happen," Humphrey added. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Okay" I said in almost a whisper.

"Alright, be there soon," Humphrey told me before hanging up. I moved the phone from my ear slowly, terrified of what was to come. Rick rolled over on his stomach, staying close to me as his body was slightly pressed against mine.

"Hey, is everything okay? Who was that?" he asked.

"Humphrey… he's coming over" I admitted. Rick seemed confused.

"Right now? I thought we were gonna make love" he said. I raised my head and kissed him again, pressing my lips against his own one last time before breaking the kiss.

"We will but… Rick, you know I love you right?" I asked. I just wanted him to know before what ever happened happened.

"Of course I do. Without a doubt I do. Is everything okay? What did Humphrey want?" Rick asked, cupping my cheek again.

"We'll talk about it when he gets here. Just… get dressed, brush your teeth and… let's go downstairs" I said. Rick nodded slowly and then got up, taking the covers off of him. They made their usual ruffling sounds as he did, and I also got out of bed, feeling the wetness between my legs. "Should I take a quick shower? I don't want him to smell me" I said. Rick shrugged.

"Uh… I don't think it's necessary but I like it so…" Rick said, making me giggle. I thought about putting the same panties on but decided against it. I wiped myself off with the blankets and then went over to pick out a new pair. While I was still horny at least I wasn't dripping, although I was still leaking a little bit. I really could have used that sex Humphrey. Why did you have to call now? I put on some fresh panties, a white T-shirt and some black sweatpants. Rick wore black sweatpants as well but with a black T-shirt to go with it. Oddly enough black went well with his brown fur.

Walking out of my bedroom I saw that my parents weren't home. A shame knowing we could have been as loud as we wanted. I sighed again though, trying to prepare myself for what was to come. It's okay Kate. he didn't do much when Humphrey slept with Angel. Why would this be any different? Besides, we didn't even do anything. Part of me was disgusted with myself for hoping that Humphrey would just forget and never bring it up again so that I wouldn't have to tell Rick. But at the same time I could see why I thought so. It wasn't that I was scared of what Rick would do. He loved us and wouldn't hurt us. I was his soul mate and Humphrey was his brother so he wouldn't hurt us. I was just scared of what he would think of me.

We brushed our teeth together and then went downstairs to wait for Humphrey. Rick could see that I was extremely nervous though as I paced back and forth in the dining room. He came up behind me and held me gently, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. His hand on my lower belly as his muzzle went over my shoulder so that our faces were touching. He nuzzled me, making me relax and nuzzle him back.

"Why are you so nervous Kate? What is it?" he asked. I really didn't know what to say.

"I… there's something I didn't tell you about when you were in a coma" I admitted finally, trying to ease him into it all. He stopped his rhythm of rocking me side to side and pulled away a bit.

"You did?" he asked. I closed my eyes and nodded, to afraid to speak. "What is it? You Can tell me" he said.

"I… me and Humphrey are gonna tell you together okay?" I said. Rick seemed to pause and all of a sudden the tension in the room grew. I feel like he was putting pieces together but maybe too many. He was getting a picture that wasn't correct. The doorbell rang, making me jump and turn to the door. Rick let go of me and walked over, opening the door for who else but Humphrey.

"Hey Rick, what's going on man?" he greeted.

"Nothin much. Come in" he said as he stepped to the side and held the door open. The way he talked was a little hostile, making me nervous once more. Humphrey hesitated but came in.

"Hey Kate" he greeted.

"Hey" I replied nervously. Rick shut the front door and then began walking over to the living room. Humphrey turned to me with a look of surprise on his face. I, on the other hand, looked worried. I gestured with my head over to the living room and began to walk over myself. Once there Rick took a seat on one of the couches, the smaller one to be exact.

"So… Kate just got done telling me how she didn't tell me something that happened while I was out of it, and that you had to be here to help her tell me… so we're all here now. What happened Humphrey?" Rick asked, slightly annoyed. Humphrey dug his hands in his pockets and walked over to the recliner that sat across from the couch Rick was sitting on. As he did that I walked over and sat down next to Rick. he didn't look at me though, he just kept his eyes on Humphrey. He sat down and then began to twiddle his thumbs after pulling his hands from his pockets.

"Um… well… how much did she tell you?" he asked.

"Just what I said. That she didn't tell me something and that you had to be here to tell me" Rick replied. Again I looked over at Humphrey and in return his eyes darted to mine. It wasn't long before he looked away though. Not at Rick though, down at the floor. I began to speak.

"Well… after about three months into your coma after I tried to commit suicide I… I was a wreck… I wasn't thinking straight and I wasn't in the best mindset. I just wanted some comfort that Shaky and Humphrey were more than happy to offer up" I admitted. Humphrey began speaking now, building off of what I was saying.

"Yeah, we really did try and help her out. We succeeded for the most part but she just wanted to be around you all the time. After everything with the suicide though she was in the worst state that she had ever been in-"

"Get to the point Humphrey" Rick demanded. Humphrey froze for a second before continuing.

"Well… one day Kate's mom went to go pick up her meds and so it was just me and Kate. her mom asked me to watch her and uh… we um…" Humphrey went to say, not knowing how to get it out or describe that hey nothing happened but it almost did. It was dangerously close in fact. We just kissed Rick. Sorry about that bud. There was really no easy way to say it which is why he was struggling and I was sitting there waiting for him to get it out. As he hesitated though and before I could even process what happened, Rick stood up extremely fast and threw the fastest and hardest punch he possibly could at Humphrey, hitting him in the face and flipping the chair he sat in. It caught me off guard so much that all I could do was stand up in shock. Rick went over to him for what I thought was to hit him again but stopped just above him. Humphrey looked up at him in pure terror as Rick stopped. I could tell he wanted to hit him again as he clenched his fist but didn't. Surely their relationship saved him from anything else.

"Was my sister not enough? My… My sister… WASN'T ENOUGH!" Rick screamed, making Humphrey flinch on the ground. Rick then turned to me and simply stared for a second before going to walk out of the room. He made it out but as he went down the hall I ran after him, grabbing his hand.

"Rick wait-" I managed to get out before he slapped my hand away. It stung worse than I could ever imagine possible, and I'm not even referring to my hand. He turned to me with pure anger in his eyes.

"Don't touch me," he said angrily. We stared at each other not knowing what to say. I felt so hurt and broken and it seemed he did as well as his expression softened, and tears began to run down his face. "I… I loved you… I… love… you…" he sobbed. I stood there in complete shock. Come on Kate, tell him that nothing actually happened. Why can't you speak? Stop being an idiot and scared and just tell him. TELL HIM YOU STUPID BITCH, TELL HIM! I didn't tell him though. Instead I stood there broken like an idiot as Rick sobbed. He shook his head and then turned again, grabbing his jets and walking out of the house.

"Rick!" I called but he didn't stop. He stormed off, getting in his truck and then leaving. Now I began to cry but there was nothing I could do now. My chance had more than come and gone. I turned around, walking back to the living room to check up on Humphrey who spat up blood on the floor. "Humphrey, are you okay?" I asked through tears. I couldn't believe that just happened.

"How the fuck did Lyle survive so many hits… fuck" Humphrey said before wiping his mouth with his forearm. He checked it to find only a little blood on it and then shook his head to get up. "Where is he Kate?" he asked.

"I-I don't know, he just left" I cried. Humphrey sighed and then got up, wobbling a bit and catching his balance on the wall. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine just… Can you get me some water please?" Humphrey asked. I walked over to him and helped him to the couch, sitting him down gently.

"Of course," I said. Quickly I walked into the kitchen and got a bottle and a napkin. When I came out Humphrey was holding his jaw. I handed him the water which he accepted with a thank you and simply held it to his face.

"Listen Kate. you don't have to stay here with me. Go after him" Humphrey told me.

"I don't know where he went," I replied. Humphrey sighed and then opened up his bottle, taking a long sip.

"Call him," he suggested. I offered a sympathetic stare at the poor wolf and then jogged upstairs. Immediately I went for my phone and dialed Rick. my heart raced as I held the phone to my ear, wanting him so desperately to pick up. My heart sank however when I heard the familiar sound of his ringtone coming from his side of the bed. I crawled over, lifting his pillow up and sure enough, there was his phone. He never took it when he got up. I gritted my teeth in anger, thinking why the fuck this was happening. Everything was going perfectly until this. This was… this was… I screamed in pure rage as I squeezed my phone before hanging up the call. I didn't want to wait, I wanted to talk to him now. The suspense of knowing our relationship was on the line was killing me, and I couldn't wait for him to come back. I marched back downstairs to see Humphrey fixing the chair, picking it up off the ground and then turning to me. "Any luck?" he asked.

"He left his phone upstairs… fuck, Humphrey what are we gonna do?" I said as I sat on the couch and buried my face in my hands. I could feel my eyes tearing up again as I sniffed. I let loose, crying softly as Humphrey sat next to me, putting an arm around me.

"Is there anywhere you know that he could have gone?" Humphrey asked. I looked up at him to see that the blood on his lower lip had dried. Still feeling bad I reached up to cup his chin.

"Does it hurt?" I asked. Humphrey sighed.

"It's gonna hurt more if I don't get my brother back" he answered. I knew what he meant.

"There is… one place" I confessed, although it was a shot in the dark.

"Well then come on, let's go" Humphrey said as he stood up, ready to go looking for Rick.

"Actually Humphrey… I think it's best if I do this myself" I said as I looked up at him. He in turn looked down at me a little worried.

"What about telling him together?" he asked.

"We're past that point. I just need to find him and tell him that nothing happened… I just hope he believes me. I just… I can't believe he actually hit you" I said.

"Well… he is right about his sister but… you mean the world to him so… if I were in his shoes I probably would've done the same thing. You know how much he cares about you" Humphrey said. It made sense but still.

"He cares a lot about you too, Humphrey," I told him. Humphrey shook his head.

"Not as much as he cares about you," he replied. I sighed and then stood up, getting ready to leave.

"I feel bad leaving you right now," I admitted.

"It's okay, there's bigger things to worry about right now. I'll check a couple of places to see if I can find him too. Just keep in contact okay?" Humphrey asked. I hesitated but eventually agreed.

"Okay" I said before giving him a hug. He hugged me back and then the two of us left. I grabbed my keys and then headed out after Humphrey, locking the door and parting ways once we got to our cars. Again it was a shot in the dark but I had a feeling I knew just where to look.

After about an hour of driving down to the city and towards the boardwalk, I made it to the area where our spot was. The day was warm, leaning more on the hot side of things. It was nice to feel as my window stayed rolled down while I drove. The wind in my hair and fur feeling as nice as ever. This was the summer experience I loved, if only I had my family in order. I was gonna fix it though, even if it killed me.

eventually I found a parking spot and parked. I then pulled my phone out to see I got a text from Humphrey. Rick wasn't at Stephanie's or Shaky's. I sighed, hoping that I got the right spot. I messaged him back that I was checking somewhere that he was most likely at and then got out of my car. I locked it and then began walking over to the boardwalk. If I remembered correctly the bench where we sat was to my right from here. I began speed walking, fighting the urge to full on sprint and eventually found the area. There was the nice pub place behind the benches and an area of the boardwalk that extended just a tad bit out to the beach where more benches were, creating some sort of sitting area. But to the left of that was our bench, and in that bench was the love of my life. I was right.

He sat facing the beach and the ocean, listening to the waves crash against the shore, and children at play. I mustered up the courage to go over to him and took a deep breath. He seemed more sad than anything though. Tears stained the fur on his face as he looked out, God only knowing what was going through his poor head. I walked over and sat down next to him. He turned to me slightly and just barely looked at me before turning back to the ocean.

"I still love you… I'm just so hurt by it all… and of all the people in the world it was him… do you have feelings for him Kate?" Rick asked with his voice sounding extremely broken and fragile. Again I felt myself grow tense and frightened at what he may think of me. I found myself unable to speak once more before it was overpowered by anger and hatred towards myself.

"Not the way I have feelings for you Rick… and… I should have told you a long time ago but… I'm still purely yours" I explained. Rick again turned to me slightly with his eyebrows raised by the tiniest amount.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Rick… I never slept with him… it was only a kiss" I said finally. I saw Rick's expression drop and soften.

"But… why didn't you just tell me?" he asked.

"Because I was scared of what you would think of me. We were all so broken back then and… we kissed and almost went all the way but he stopped it" I answered.

"Wait… he stopped you?" Rick asked. I nodded sadly.

"Yeah… and even though nothing happened I'm still disgusted with myself. I love you so much Rick, and I don't want you to think of me as a whore, or… please don't leave me" I begged, tearing up at the thought. He shook his head as he reached for my chin.

"I would never leave you. I told you that" Rick said gently. I nuzzled his hand and exhaled.

"It's just all so fucked. Why can't things just be normal? It was why I put it off for so long. If you left me or thought of me differently I don't know what I would do. Even now I feel like you don't believe me, and you shouldn't. You were hurt… losing months of your life for me and I was… I was…" I began to tear up again, pulling away from his hand and looking down. I didn't deserve him, I just didn't. Why was he still here?

"Kate… I can see how much you're hurt by this. I believe you. I'm just… embarrassed I guess" Rick explained.

"Embarrassed? Why?" I asked. Rick again turned out to face the ocean as he spoke.

"Because of the way I acted and… fuck, do you think Humphrey will forgive me?" Rick asked.

"I know he will. All he was worried about after you left was where you went. He wanted to fix things and completely understood why you did what you did" I answered. Still he felt bad though.

"It doesn't excuse it though. When he slept with Angel it took everything I had not to hurt him. But you? With you it took everything I had not to keep going. I just wish you would have told me everything. Why were you so scared?" Rick asked. I said it before but not in this context.

"I didn't want your opinion of me to change. I wanted to stay that same wolf you fell in love with. And I didnt want to lose your trust. It's one of the many things we have that others don't. We can talk to each other about anything and I didnt want to lose that either" I explained.

"So… you weren't scared of me?" Rick asked. I shook my head.

"No, I would never be scared of you. Remember what I said the first time we made love?" I asked. Rick smiled and turned to me again.

"I'm glad you still know that," he smiled. Wind blew on us, cooling us down from the warm air as seagulls flew around, making their usual sounds. It was the typical beach scenery but one that I loved. Although I preferred the feeling of the night due to my memory of this place.

"I should probably text Humphrey that I found you" I said as I pulled out my phone. Again Rick turned to the ocean as I messaged him.

"How am I gonna make it up to him?" he asked. I stopped and then looked up at him.

"Just… call him tomorrow and… maybe the two of you can do something" I suggested. Rick didn't seem satisfied though. I could tell that he still felt really bad. I messaged Humphrey and then put my phone in my pocket. After that I slid over and leaned on my lover as the two of us looked out into the ocean. "Don't worry about it Rick. we all still love you" I said. Rick closed his eyes and sighed before looking down.

"After what he did for me that day… the day that I thought I was gonna lose you… what is wrong with me?" Rick asked.

"Nothing… It was a misunderstanding. I'm just… I'm just glad it's over" I said, knowing that wasn't all there was to tell. Again I felt nervous but after everything, I knew I could talk to him. But not now, not in public. Rick leaned on me now, resting his head on top of mine, his left cheek sitting on top of me. I relaxed, enjoying the scene.

"This place… is it special to you too?" Rick asked. I smiled.

"You have no idea," I answered. Rick chuckled.

"You know it can be like this all the time," he said, grabbing my attention.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well it wouldn't be the exact same spot but you and I could move somewhere like this. Somewhere that reminds us of it. I know you love the cold and I do too but it would only be for a couple of years. We could live together and have a nice life by the shore" Rick explained. My heart felt warm and cozy at the thought.

"I… I think I like that" I said. Rick nuzzled me.

"I thought that you would," he said. He then gave my cheek a wet lick, making me giggle. I moved my head away to make eye contact as I smiled.

"So… come home?" I asked. Rick smiled back at me.

"Sure… I'll meet you back there. I love you" he said. Just like that I felt as if everything was fixed. There would still be things to work on but right now this was enough. I leaned over, giving his lips a nice, wet peck.

"I love you too" I smiled. I then stood up and stretched. "Meet you back home?" I asked.

"You bet," he said. I giggled again and then leaned over to give his lips another peck. After that I walked away with him behind me. After we split up for our cars, I started mine up and began my way back home.

On the way back I actually dialed Humphrey up because after I messaged him that I found Rick he asked me to call him once I was alone. As I got out of the city and on the highway I pulled out my phone and dialed him. The phone rang three times before he answered.

"Hey Kate, is Rick okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. he's fine. He feels really bad about hitting you though. What about you? Are you alright?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just glad he's okay. So I take it he's not mad at me?" Humphrey replied. I thought about it for a moment but honestly I couldn't say.

"I want to say no but I'm not sure. Like I said he feels really bad but anything could be going through his mind. I said he should call you tomorrow because I kind of wanted to um… tell him everything else" I explained.

"You're gonna tell him the other things?" Humphrey asked. I sighed.

"Yeah… I'm not putting it off anymore. I'm already in a deep enough hole" I told him.

"Well, does he know that you even have other things to tell him?" Humphrey asked. He seemed a tad bit worried.

"No. I wanted to wait until he got home to tell him. He's not gonna take it well so… I'm kind of nervous" I explained.

"Don't be. And if you need anything just call me okay?" Humphrey offered.

"Thanks. How's your jaw feeling?" I asked.

"A little sore, but I'll live," Humphrey said. Again I sighed.

"Any news about Shaky? What happened?" I asked.

"Uh, not sure. I'll ask Lilly when I pick her up later. The three of us might do something if you want to join us" Humphrey said. I thought about it for a moment but honestly I didn't see it happening.

"I'll see. No matter what though I would expect a call from Rick" I said.

"Alright, sounds good. Talk to ya later alright?" Humphrey replied.

"Okay. bye" I said.

"Bye," Humphrey said back before hanging up. The rest of the ride was silent apart from the music that was playing. Once I got home I stepped out of the car and made my way inside the house. I left the door unlocked for Rick and walked into the living room. The only thing that was out of place was a small dried blood stain on the floor that Humphrey spat up. Again I felt bad as I remembered what happened and walked into the kitchen to get a paper towel. I sprayed the stain and cleaned it up before throwing out the towel.

When Rick finally got home it was about twenty minutes after I did. Honestly I was beginning to worry but once he stepped out of his truck with food I felt relieved. It was from the pub place on the boardwalk. He walked inside and I smiled at him as he placed down the bags.

"Couldn't help yourself huh?" I asked smugly. He laughed.

"No. no I could not," he said. "I got you a crab cake sandwich. That alright?' he asked. It sounded so good along with the fries that I could already smell. However, as hungry as the food was making me, I couldn't eat it right now. There was something I had to take care of first,

"Yeah, that's fine… hey Rick, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked. Rick froze and looked at me as he took boxes out of the paper bag. After placing down the last one he straightened up a bit.

"Of course Kate, anything" he said. Just like earlier I nudged over to the living room and then walked down the hall. Rick met me as I sat on the couch, sitting next to me as I prepared to tell him what I needed to.

"So… two things. One… back before I knew you were still alive Shaky began to spend a lot of time with me. He knew what I was going through and so he spent time with me to help me through the grieving process. It didn't get any better but he was there the whole time. And then after he got stabbed… we just kept getting closer and closer. So when he was in the hospital I um… I almost kissed him, and I think we almost got together" I explained, again feeling terrified the whole time that Rick would hate me.

"You… you did?" Rick asked, again looking a little hurt.

"I still thought you were dead at the time. And I'm still blaming the fact that I wasn't in a good spot at the time. But we talked about it afterwards and we agreed that we wouldn't have been… a thing. It would have been more or less just someone to have relations with until we were reunited with our partners. I never wanted to replace you" I explained. I hoped that at least sounded better, but part of me knew I still looked like a slut.

"What stopped you?" Rick asked.

"The phone… the phone call that you were still alive. When I found out I… I ran to you so fast and… I've never been happier. Honestly leaving Shaky in the dark like that I think is the reason that he got with Stephanie like he's been doing. He still loves Angel but… he just needs someone" I said. It took a second but Rick nodded calmly.

"Honestly Kate… I'm glad that you would have been able to move on-"

"I wasn't moving on… I would have never moved on. It was just temporary comfort. I talked with that therapist I told you about. I told her and she thinks that it was a way to cope with your loss, and just like Humphrey I'm so grateful that nothing happened. Even if you were dead and I went through with it I would have still felt bad. Honestly I don't think I ever would've recovered" I explained. Rick said nothing and simply reached out to me, pulling me close and hugging me.

"I get it… everything you're saying I get. If something happened to you… I feel like I would have done something similar" he said.

"But so soon? It was barely a week" I replied.

"Maybe… but I know I never would have recovered, and I would have spent the rest of my life doing nothing but grieving you… wanting you back" Rick said. The mood in the room felt somber, it was odd. There wasn't really an easy way to talk about this.

"That whole time… I could never stop thinking of you" I told him. Rick took a deep breath and then gave me a kiss.

"I know," he said. "I know" there was a while of silence. Nothing but him holding me before he went to ask me something. "So… what was the other thing?"

"You're not mad at Shaky?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"No… I'm not" Rick answered.

"But… you were with Humphrey," I said.

"Well… the difference in that is that he knew I was alive. But you guys thought I was still dead with Shaky… not only that but Humphrey would have done that with you and my sister and that… it's just a build is all" Rick explained.

"It's funny… all through high school almost every girl that knew me called me a slut… funny to think that they were right" I said. Rick turned to me, looking down as he kept his arm around me.

"Kate, you're not a slut. You were just in a bad spot. Anyone would have done what you did, and you didn't even do it" Rick said, making me scoff lightly.

"Yeah… people have been telling me that non stop but… I still feel like one. Just a dirty, used up tramp" I said. Suddenly Rick lifted my head by putting his fingers beneath my chin, and raised it to his lips where he kissed me. There was no tongue, just lips pressed against each other as he kissed me passionately. I was lost in it as I felt his warm love, making my heart race in what was finally a good way. He kissed me deeply and then parted lips, looking at me. My eyes slightly opened as they were now filled with lust. His however were more serious.

"Kate… listen to me… you are perfect. You are the most perfect wolf on this planet. It's why I fell in love with you and why I will continue to be in love with you. You're not a whore, and you're not ugly. Everyone has their flaws, it's just how you deal with them. It may be hard sometimes but you have more than proved that you can deal with them head on. Your strong… and brave… and so fucking beautiful. Sure, people will continue to tell you the same thing, and for you it will go in one ear and out the other. But those thoughts will only ever stop if you learn to love yourself. Think about all you've done, all you've been through. It's a lot. Most people would have snapped by now but look at you. You're still going strong, and I know what you're gonna say. Yes we've all been through our own shit but stop comparing us to you. Think about yourself for just a moment… think of all you've done… you. Are. prefect… you're you. And I love every part of you, more than you'll ever know" Rick said.

I had no idea what to say. People have been telling me these things recently, but nobody has put it like that. I guess it just took not only someone I loved to really tell me, but someone to put it in a way that Rick just did for it to click. You're gonna continue to hate yourself unless you learn to love yourself. He was right.

"I… thank you Rick" I said. I still had my doubts, but at least this was a start. We kissed again, smooching on the couch before we pulled apart and Rick asked again.

"So… what was the other thing?" he asked. Here goes…

"Um… remember when I told you about Mindy? And how she explained her plans and all that?" I asked. Rick's expression went from soft to concerned. It was as if he was deeply confused as to why I would bring this up.

"Yeah… why?" he asked. I said nothing and reached up for his face, caressing it softly before pulling my hand back.

"Well… there were some things that I left out," I admitted. Rick eyed me, growing even more confused.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Rick… your family's death was never an accident… she did that" I confessed, praying to God that he took it well even though that was impossible. His expression dropped as the realization of what I just said washed over him.

"Wh- what?" he asked. I began to tear up as I shook my head.

"I'm so sorry Rick… she loosened the brakes on your parents car. I didn't tell you because… because…" I went to say but really I had nothing. The truth was that I didn't tell him at first because he had just woken up, but I had no reason whatsoever to hold this for so long. Now I was paying the price for it. As I thought of what to say next Rick began to sob, burying his muzzle in his hands. "Rick?" I called quietly, wanting him to say something. He said nothing as he cried, shaking with rage and eventually letting out an angered scream before gritting his teeth. "I'm so sorry" I whimpered.

Rick continued to cry as I reached out to him. I didn't know what else to do. First I went to reach for his face again but my hand went to his shoulder. I tried pulling him into a hug but was surprised when he suddenly pulled me in first. He cried into me hard, leaving me speechless. Nothing but the sound of him as tears slowly flowed down my face as well. I hugged him back, stroking his hair to calm him down, not that I expected it to do much. I couldn't imagine what he must have been feeling. Sadness… anger… none of it good. Knowing that he couldn't get to the person who hurt his family because they were already gone. He could literally do nothing but sit in defeat. Not only that but she almost got him as well. That only made it that much worse.

I wanted to see if he was okay, even though I knew he wasn't. But with his crying I felt bad. So I sat hugging him and holding him tight as he kept me close. Not only was it the only thing I could do but it was the least I could do. I only hoped that it didn't cause too much damage to him. No matter what though I would be here for him. Even though I didn't deserve him, I would be here. Again it was the least I could do.