The kiss they shared then was full of passion and relief and tenderness, as tears of emotional relief tracked down her cheeks. When they broke apart, both gasping for breath, she rested her forehead on his as they simply stared into each others eyes, until she uttered those words that made him both panic and rejoice in equal measure.
"Take me to your bed Severus"
His heart which was already racing, ramped up a notch when she uttered those sinful words against his lips. Once more his fears of inadequacy reared up, and had him pulling slightly away from her.
Hermione looked at his face in confusion and he wasn't at all surprised. For any normal red blooded male the reaction to a tasty little slice like her, asking you to take her to your bed would be to more along the lines of "yes mam, right away" and commence thoroughly debauching her. It wasn't to pull away like a shy little virgin Hufflepuff, being offered his first bit of trim.
"Severus?" The questioning tone came, and before he could answer her she had grasped his hand and spoke softly. "Am I going too fast for you? Are you not ready? Because I would rather you tell me if that's true?"
Looking into those amber eyes he felt himself falling deeper than he ever had before, and he found himself...trusting...for perhaps the first time in his life. Enough to tell her something that resembled the full truth.
"I want you Witch, Gods but do I want you, however I fear that I may not live up to your expectations. It has been...a long time for me, and you may find me...inadequate, as your lover-"
Before he could finish getting the words out, she was there again, in his arms. Her lips alighted on his and she kissed him. It was the slowest, softest, sweetest kiss he had ever tasted and yet still it left him gasping for breath as though she had just ravaged him. She looked at him then through kiss-swollen lips and hooded eyes as she spoke.
"Of all the words I could use to describe you Severus, Inadequate will never be one of them. You are most certainly the very definition of more than adequate...you're perfect as you are"
He may have actually blushed then, as he practically fell back from her praise. Perfect? She thought he was perfect?
It was only then that he realised in his stammering bashfulness that she had led him to the bed and they were now both laid in it. She in her large T shirt, and he simply in a pair of sleeping trousers. His eyes met hers in the half light and they shared another tender kiss, and another, then somehow she was under him as he proceeded to kiss the life out of her, with all the pent up emotion he had hidden for so long. But when she boldly pressed herself into him, arching up under him with a gasp, he once more shirked back from her in self-disgust, and laid beside her with eyes closed against tears of humiliation as he already felt the throbbing at his groin at the press of her soft body against his hardness.
"Severus? Are you alright?" He then made his next mistake. He turned to look at her in order to answer, and groaned at the sight. Her lips were kiss swollen and her pupils dilated as she breathed heavily beside him, she was laid on her side facing him and it had caused her shirt to ride up and expose her soft thighs, but where it was pulled taught over her chest, he could clearly see her pebbled nipples pressing against the fabric. Groaning in desolation he quickly jammed his hand into his trousers and grasped the base of his cock to stave off his imminent release, and threw his other arm over his eyes. Both to block the tempting sight of her, and to block her the sight of his frustrated tears.
A part of him thought she would leave, but instead she pressed herself closer until she was tucked into his side. One hand pressed gently on his chest and her forehead resting on his arm.
"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"
That caused him to bark out a choked laugh, though he could do nothing to hold back the strangled tone when he spoke, a clear sign that his voice was thick with the effort to hold back tears.
"No... I can safely say you did not hurt me witch, the only thing hurting right now is my pride"
Her hand moved to his belly and stroked softly in soothing circles. It was such an affectionate and soothing gesture he couldn't help but relax a little under her ministrations, even as he flinched slightly at the painful pulsing from his cock, which he was damn near strangling in an attempt to keep him from falling over the edge already.
"Severus, please talk to me? Whatever it is, we can work through it, You're the only person in my life that is always honest with me, no matter what, so please don't start holding back now."
At the earnestness in her tone, he couldn't not answer her. Though he refused to take his arm off his face. He didn't want her to see him whilst he told her.
"My control is somewhat...lacking around you. Until I had you in my bed witch, I had thought my body's responses dead and gone, for I had not experienced them for a number of years, I had thought the function lost to me, after the amount of spell damage I had taken over the years, and it is still somewhat unreliable"
"Nerve Damage?" She asked cautiously "From the Cruciatus?"
"It was what I believed, when many years had past without any physical...reactions"
"But you can? I mean right now you are... so it obviously isn't nerve damage, what's the problem?"
Throughout their discussion her hand hadn't stopped moving in soothing circles and he used the repetitive motion to bring himself back from the brink
"The problem is, I've spent the best part of the last 7 years or more without the ability to...well..."
"Get an erection?" She asked him gently, but straight to the point and he snorted through his nose as he answered."Quite"
"But like I said Severus, you can get hard, you're hard right now, so what's holding you back? I asked you if you weren't ready but maybe you don't want me like I want you..."
She had begun to pull back her hand from his stomach but he quickly held her wrist, she was still for a moment but when he didn't let go she took the hint and carried on with the soothing circles.
"The problem isn't wanting you, witch, its wanting you too much. I have less control than a spotty teenager"
"Ah" She said simply , then pressed a kiss to his pectoral "So the engine starts, but you don't think you can finish the Journey?"
Another self deprecating snort came from him.
"More like the engine starts, half the time if you give it a decent kick, but then it either gives up halfway down the track or alternatively I've already crossed the finish line before you get a chance to turn the keys in your ignition"
"Hmmm" She said in a curious tone, but he still wouldn't look at her.
Until she had pushed his hand away and moved to straddle him.
A choked noise escaped him when she'd managed to sneakily pull him into a sitting position, whilst simultaneously quite literally getting her leg over.
"What are you- " His words broke off in an undignified yelp as she rocked against him. She only had on a pair of skimpy knickers under the shirt, and he could feel the warmth of her through his trousers and once more his cock was on the verge of eruption.
"You're not a selfish lover Severus, or you wouldn't care so much about me crossing the finish line -" He reached to grab his cock but she intercepted him "Don't, you'll hurt yourself" Instead she pulled her shirt off and then she was there bare chested in front of him, pulling his hand to her breast instead of his cock.
"I know for a fact there's nothing wrong with those gorgeous hands or that wicked tongue, so I am certain that I'll be finishing the race with you one way or another"
She was rocking against him gently as she spoke and he couldn't help but groan and allow his lips to wrap around her exposed nipple. She was right though, there was no way he'd be turning her down if she wanting him to taste her, he almost came at the thought.
"So with that in mind..." She pulled him into a wicked kiss and then he groaned into her mouth in surprised pleasure. She'd vanished her knickers, and promptly seated herself on his erect cock, her tongue traced his ear before nibbling it slightly as she spoke in a sinful whisper.
"Gentleman, Start your engine"