Days, weeks, months have passed by.
My leg has been healed completely, minus a scar that if forever etched in my skin. It is a constant reminder for me to be on my guard. My training with the boys has been a bit rough at first. They do try to go easy on me, but I cannot help but feel sore after every session. First, they had me paired up with Mikey, he showed me basic tactics and was very patient with me. We bonded even more afterwards from him letting me talk about by mental state, he is not a therapist, but he definitely helps re-center me. I have been more focused on myself and not trying to not let anything or...anyone distract me too much.
Splinter has been impressed by my resolve, even after taking a few beatings and provides me with notes and encouragement. I can feel his trust in me growing as he has allowed me to come around their lair more often, not just for training but to build trust with the others as well. After a while, I was able to acquire everyone's phone numbers and was part of their group chat. It felt like I was part of the team, part of the family. A smile or a laugh would always come from me, seeing how goofy they all can be, especially Leo if I can be completely honest. He doesn't take much seriously AT ALL; but I can tell that he does have the potential to be a great leader at some point. Raph will always check him though if he gets a bit too full of himself...which is often. He really is just a big sweetheart that cares for his family. I could never be upset about that.
April and I have shaken off the awkwardness a bit, I think. There is a weird tension there that I haven't addressed to her yet. Every time I see her around Donnie, she gets a bit protective. I would like to think that is just her being a 'big sister', however, I would not be surprised if something else was there. Donnie...
Donnie and I have been stagnated in our relationship. Ever since that wonderful night, we haven't pushed each other to do more. We have not even touched each other like that since. We have a good time with each other still. I think both of us are just too focused at the task at hand. He has his inventions and I have my training; we aren't ever alone together. Unless you count him escorting me to and from the lair.
Anytime he came to pick me up from my apartment or take me home, he would at the very least hold my hand. If he were to give a kiss, it was always on the cheek. Donnie never stayed long at my place, even after I might insist. After a while, I had to consider how does he feel about me? Are those feelings still there or is he done with me, was just a fling? They say spring is the time for love, but I feel the opposite a bit. Why is he keeping this distance? I finally realized why.
It was another typical training with Mikey as I finally mastered certain moves and used them on their training buddy.
"BUUUUUDDDYYYY!" He gives me a big hug after we finished our sparring session as a way to congratulate me. I had to admit, it was full workout for sure and my body was hot and sweating, even more than it should.
"Whew! Mikey, I knew I put in work but isn't it a bit hot down here?"
"Yeah, once the temperature goes up, it can REALLY be a scorcher down here! It's only May so think about how it will be in the deep summer months!"
Yikes.
"Ugh, I guess I understand." I walk over to my water bottle and gulp it down, but it was not enough. "Hey, I am going to go to the kitchen real quick to fill up."
"No prob, Y/N! Hurry back so we can do some cool down stretches!" I stroll my way to the kitchen, trying to wipe away the sweat with my towel and accidentally bump into the softshell. He was carrying some blueprints that unfurled once they hit the ground.
"Oh! Donnie, I am sorry! I should have paid more attention! Are you ok?"
"Y-Yeah, I am fine." He quickly gathers his plans, barely even rolling them back up as if in a hurry.'
"You sure? I can help if you-"
"No! I swear, I am ok. Don't let me stop you from your training, I'll escort you back home at our scheduled time. See you in a bit." He takes off as if he had an appointment. I was so bewildered by his action that I forgot about getting more water and just walked back to meet up with Mikey for our routine yoga stretches. Mikey could not help but notice that something was off.
"You ok? Does the water taste off? Oh no... don't tell me there is sewer water in the pipes again!"
"No, no Mikey, I just had a weird run in with Donnie."
"Oohhh...come on, lets stretch and talk about it in my room!" Once we made it, we shut the curtain for privacy and got into our first position after laying our equipment. "So, tell me what happened."
I explained the situation and Mikey had a serious look go across his face.
"Oh boy...it's May alright." I looked over at him with a confused expression as he tries to find the words to explain his statement. "During the Spring months, sometimes you can clock it, Donnie- well ALL of us go through 'A rut'.
"A rut? Like depression?"
"NO! Uh. Oh boy...Donnie would be better explaining this, he told me that during the Spring months, turtles are looking to..mate. I think he is going through his mating cycle right now."
Blush flows to my cheeks profusely at the thought of what that entails.
"So...Donnie is in heat?"
"Yes! He must be trying to avoid you while he is dealing with it." We switch to the next yoga position.
"Oh, I suppose that makes sense, he has been acting a bit off lately."
"Yeah, so if anything, he still clearly likes you or else he wouldn't even consider being with you...like that."
"You make it sound so wrong and dirty." I giggled a bit, but Mikey still kept a serious look.
"As much as I would like to laugh about my bro's sexual frustrations, it's not that funny considering what happened-" He stopped mid-sentence, his face contorted to worry and unease.
"What? What happened, Mikey?" He shakes his head and tries to change the subject
"Let's just focus on our stretches, ok?" He smiles at me, but I could tell it was hollow. I decided to drop it for now but now my mind is reeling. Donnie is in heat, huh? I should respect his space, but the intrusive thoughts want me to tease the shit out of him. No harm in a LITTLE fun, right? Once we finished our workout, I beelined for Donnie's lab. The closer I got, the more I heard voices, not just Donnie's but I think April's as well. Guess she must have come in while I was with Mikey. They seem a little upset at each other.
"Dee, are you serious?!"
"Look, I am very busy right now, I can't deal with this!"
"Oh! So, what WE had meant nothing to you?!" Oh no...this is bad, I should go. Last thing I want is to get caught up with this. That is what my mind said anyway, but my heart told me to stay a listen in a bit longer.
"April...I don't regret anything, but I thought I was sure before. My mind was clouded at the time, IT WAS MY FIRST MATING CYCLE!"
"That's your excuse?! I have been there for you since day one, Dee!"
"I KNOW! That is why this makes it all the more frustrating! I don't want to upset you!" It fell quiet until I heard soft sobbing.
"Well...you have...goodbye." I tried to hurry away from the door and hide behind a corner, I was able to peer around and see April stomp away with tears. Donnie comes out right after her, trying in vain to chase her down.
"DAMN IT!" Donnie exclaimed as he hits the side of the wall.
That was brutal. Now is defiantly not the best time to mess with him...but I don't think he should be alone either. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. It is getting close to me having to leave though so I have no choice but to meet up with him.
Donnie slinks back inside his lab as I wait for a few minutes to pass. Once I felt it was appropriate, I walked in his lab cautiously. He was so focused that he didn't notice me for quite a while.
"D-Donnie?" I was being timid; I didn't want to upset him any further. He kept tinkering with his work, muttering under his breath. I think he knew I was behind him the whole time. "It's time for me to go home now...are you ok?" Even if I didn't know what happened, he clearly was distressed. He gave me an over the shoulder glare. It sent a slight chill down my spine.
"You really need to stop eavesdropping. It's rude and annoying." How did he know?!
"Well...it's ruder to secretly record private conversations and moments, DONNIE." He told me that in secret one day, no one else knows but me.
"You need to go."
"Well, that is why I am here, so you can-"
"No, have some else take you home. I need to be alone right now."
"Donnie, please, I don't know what is going on, but this is not how you should deal with it."
"Oh! Now I am getting a lecture from you? That's all I need right now..." A part of my heart sank heart his cold words, but I pressed on.
"Look, yes, I listened on you and April, but I caught only the end. I did not mean to sneak around. I was just wanting to spend a bit of time with you before you left. You guys were clearly having a moment, so I tried to not get involved. I am sorry." There was a pregnant pause before Donnie finally lets out a long sigh. "Close my door, I need to talk to you." I promptly do as he requested but kept my distance. He fully turns to me with a look remorse and guilt.
"L-last year...I had my first mating cycle; I knew what that meant so I kept my distance from everyone...at least I tried to. I felt...compelled to be intimate with someone. I could not just be with anyone though, that's not how that works. I learned that the hard way. It was very confusing period for me. April and I... we were together, for a short period." He looks up at me for a response, but I was stoned faced. He seemed a bit taken back by my lack of reaction. "Did you know that?"
"I had a 90% chance of being right about that. I have kind of known something was going on between you two."
"Y/N, I didn't want to really hide it from you, I just never really knew how to tell you. Especially with what we have."
"What is that exactly? For the past several months Dee, you haven't even kissed me on the lips. Even when we are alone! I have been trying to look past it for weeks."
"You are right, I have been keeping my distance." He shifts himself on the chair, clearly uncomfortable with this conversation. "There are several reasons why though."
"Enlighten me, Donnie." He slowly gets up and walks over, with every step, there as an explanation.
"For one, I didn't want to hurt you. The closer it was getting to the Spring, the more I realized I had to keep myself at bay. I have already hurt April from my actions and didn't want to do the same to you. We also promised my father to keep this as platonic as possible. I don't want to break the trust that has been building between all of us. You are able to be here more often because of that. I don't want to ruin this. Lastly..." He is now so close to me that I feel the heat of his body radiate on mine. His eyes look deep into mine as if he had a hunger.
"Lastly, your scent drives me insane." I blush at his words but try to keep my composure.
"D-Donnie...what do you mean by that?" He presses me up against the door of his lab, placing his hands on my hips. A part of me wants to brush him off but to have him hold me like this again was so needed.
"Your scent, that is how I knew you were nearby, that is how I try to avoid you as best as I can. I can only handle your scent for so long until a part of me just wants to devour you." The whites of his eyes become smaller as he inches closer to my lips. "Y/N, you make me feral. I can barely hold myself together. It is taking all the strength I have to not just have you right over my work bench."
What should I do?! I want him but this isn't right! He is almost like another being! He is almost like-
Donnie grabs my face while I was deep in thought and penetrates my mouth roughly. He forces his way inside as I feel his tongue explore inside once again. My body shivers from the sudden passion overtaking me as I felt my body begin to melt. It has been so long since I have had this sensation! I would think about us while I satisfied myself at home every week since that night! I have wanted this for so long...however I pulled away, moving behind him and tried to create distance.
"What is wrong? I thought you wanted this?" Donnie looks at me, confused and hurt.
"Donnie, I want you, but this is not right, you are not in the right headspace! If I need to go for a month or two then-"
"No! Please stay!" He comes closer to me, but I try to keep away. His movements felt off as he approached. I backed up as far I could, pressing myself against his workstation. My heart was beginning to race, this was too familiar, and I DIDN'T. LIKE. IT.
"Donnie, stay back, please! I care about you, but we cannot do-" He charges at me, but I dodge him. I run towards the door and try to open it, but it would not budge. I hear that...thing chuckle behind me. I didn't see Donnie anymore; I saw my attacker again. My genius is gone. I look and notice he had his hand on his wrist communicator.
"Sorry Y/N, I locked the door. We need to talk this out."
"Donnie, I KNOW this is not you. You would never hurt me, it's just the animalistic side of you! You got to fight it! Don't do anything you might regret!"
"April was more than willing to help me, why won't you?! I am only like this right now cause your scent is driving me crazy and I need relief!"
"Then let me go! I care about you too much to let you do this! You will just end up angry at yourself!"
"Maybe I deserve to hate myself!" I fell silent, take back by his remark. I finally processed what was truly happening. His hormones are going completely insane, and it didn't help that he was just angry earlier. He feels guilt about April. Against my better judgement, I slowly approach Donnie. He looks at me, a bit surprised by my action.
"Dee, listen to me, your cycle does not define you. I know it is your nature, but I know the real you. You are kind, funny and possibly the smartest person on the planet! If you can't see that because you can't handle being horny for a month or two at a time, then I feel sorry for you! What you and April had maybe strained but you didn't know what you were doing! You felt like being with her was right and you both got your emotions entangled about each other! You made a mistake!" I get close enough to cup his face in my hands and bump my forehead against his. "Please Dee...come back to me."
Soon his eyes go back to normal, and he calms down. We sit in silence with our heads together, taking in the moment. The silence was loud until I could hear a single drip. Tears came down his face. He tries to hold it together. All I could do was hold him and tell him it was ok until we laid on the cold lab floor with him in my arms. We were like that for what is felt like hours. Time has gone by to where I should have been long gone by now. Donnie still needs me though. I never knew he was carrying this much baggage. This is a lot for someone like him to try to sort through by himself. It all kind of makes sense now. Now the question is, where do we go from here?
Once Donnie finally gets back his composure, he still clings onto me. He is so fragile right now; he can't be alone.
"Donnie, I think we need to get Raph involved. Raph has to have gone through what you are dealing with, I am sure he will listen."
He only stirs and murmurs in response. I have noticed that when he is like this, he goes non-verbal. I am not the best at sign language yet, but I can understand basic gestures.
"Ok Donnie," I give him a quick kiss on his forehead and call up Raph to meet us at the lab.'
Once Raph arrives, he gently takes Donnie in his arms and carries him to his room. He brought along Leo as well so he can walk me home instead.
Once Leo and I made it topside, he couldn't help but break the ice a bit.
"Geez, you talk alot, no wonder Donnie likes you."
"Please Leo, not now..." Leo looks over at me as if he tries to read my mind.
"Donnie will be ok Y/N, we know how this can be. Raph had a REALLY tough time when he had his first mating cycle."
"Really?"
"Oh, yeah...the difference between them is that while Donnie was able to get relief for his first with April and keep it under control, Raph had no one. He vented by being more SMASH! BASH! CRUNCH! With everything. He even took it out on us sometimes."
I look over at him with worry.
"OH! He didn't hurt us like that! It was more verbal, but we found a way to calm him down. We would give him his favorite comfort bear and run a warm bath for him just to lay in. It relaxes him and knocks him out like a big baby."
"Donnie was so...lost."
"Yeah, he doesn't really know how to process intense emotions; but you know that already. The cycle just makes it worse. You clearly care a lot about him Y/N, but I think it is best if maybe until the cycle ends, you stay home. I don't know everything that happened back there, but Donnie needs to feel better."
"You are right Leo, is it ok if I still text you guys?"
"Of course! It's not like we blame you for what happened. Besides, I don't want you to miss my awesome one-liners that I send in the group chat!" I managed to chuckle before we made it to my place.
"See? There is that smile!"
"Thanks Leo, if anything changes, let me know, ok?" He gives me a genuine smile before giving me a hug.
"Of course, amiga."
He uses one of his swords to create a portal back to the lair.
"Wait, why didn't we just do that to get to my home?"
"What? And miss out on this awesome bonding sess'? PFFT, yeah no." He gives me on last grin and disappears.