Mason had a dream once.
He used to dream about marrying someone he loved. Of living his life with someone who meant the world to him, just like how his mamá promised him. 'You'll find an incredible woman one day, mijo. She will love you and adore you the way you'll love and adore her. You'll be made for each other.' He paid attention, eager to find the girl he'd marry, but at night, he dreamed of sunny smiles and blue eyes and cheerful laughter.
He quickly learned that his dreams were wrong and perverse and that his mamá's words weren't meant for him. He could find an incredible woman to marry. That part was true. But he wouldn't- couldn't- love her the way she would love him.
It toiled in his heart and weighed him down for years. It sat like a stone in his gut and grew heavier every time his papá mentioned finding a wife for him. He faked a smile and nodded along, feeling like he'd throw up the whole time.
Then, the worst thing happened. His father found a woman for him in New York City. A wealthy woman whose father agreed she'd be the perfect match for the heir of Viveros' Industry, and Mason and his parents were to sail from Southampton, England, to America to meet her and arrange their wedding.
The wondrousness of their first dinner aboard the Titanic was washed away as his papá spoke only of Bahti and how marvellous the wedding surely would be. Mason might's enjoyed the fine food if it weren't for how much he loathed the thought of where the ship was taking them. How it was bringing him closer and closer to a life in chains. He felt trapped. He was in a large, beautiful cage, but still trapped in the middle of the ocean with nowhere to go but to the future, his papá had planned for him.
That night, he kissed his mamá's cheek and told her he was going to find someone to play cards with, but when he left their suite, he walked to the stern of the ship instead of one of the lounges. His feet carried him all the way to the railings. He stared at the black sky littered with stars and the black water, disturbed only by the colossal ship and its cutting propellers.
He put one foot on the bottom rung, then the other.
In a daze, he climbed over the railing and stood there for a moment, wondering if was really going to do what he was going to do. The wind was cold and whipping at his suit jacket, but all he could think about was his papá talking about his future wife and the miserable life Mason would live under his thumb.
"Don't do it," someone says from behind him.
Mason stiffens.
He didn't realize there was anyone else on the stern's deck. The man doesn't sound much older than him, especially when his voice wavers as he simply says, "Please?"
Slowly, Mason turns to see who's asking him not to jump and is met with vibrant blue eyes that he knows all too well. "Jamie?"
Jamie's eyes widen in horror, and he gasps. "Mason?"
Mason hadn't seen his best friend in years, and it's so good to see him. So painful. All the feelings swirling around in him for the past eight years rise to the surface as tears spill over his cheeks.
"Christ, Mason. Please come back on the ship."
Mason turns away, closing his eyes to stem the tears. "You don't understand," he whispers.
"You're right. I don't. Come down and tell me."
"I-" He can't say it. He can't bring himself to say the words that will make his best friend hate him.
"Please." He says just the one word, but it holds so much. Mason can hear the desperation and tears in his tone as he begs him not to jump.
Mason teeters on the edge, both literally and figuratively, between his childhood friend and his papá's control. He looks back over his shoulder and sees the tears streaking down Jamie's cheeks. He knows then that his papá might not miss him, but Jamie would. Jamie would grieve him and would be wrecked if Mason let the water take him.
Jamie holds out his hands for Mason, and his words are distressed when he says, "I already lost you once. I can't lose you again."
Mason chokes out a sob and reaches out for him. Jamie responds immediately, grabbing his hand and squeezing it in a death grip as he steps forward to wrap his other arm around Mason's waist so tight it's a struggle to breathe. Mason doesn't care about that right now. Can't care now that he's in Jamie's embrace.
"I'm sorry."
Jamie makes a soothing noise and says, "Let's get you back on the deck, okay?"
He doesn't loosen his hold on Mason as he helps pull him back over the railing and cradles him in his arms when they collapse into a pile on the deck. He nuzzles his face into the side of Mason's head, and presses kisses into his curls as he lets Mason cry into his shoulder.
Mason hasn't cried in a long time, and the tears are overdue.
When he calms down, they sit up, but Jamie wraps his arm around Mason's shoulders, keeping Mason's tucked into his side. Carefully, he asks, "Can you tell me what happened?"
"Papá, he- I-" He takes in a shuddering breath. "He's arranged for me to marry this woman, but I don't- I can't- it's not the life meant for me. I don't have any say as he signs my life away, and I just can't."
Jamie is silent for a moment. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
He closes his eyes and shakily whispers, "Yes."
Hooking his other arm around Mason, Jamie pulls him in for a hug, whispering, "Me too."
Mason's head shoots up. "Really?"
"Really. I realized not long after you were sent to boarding school."
He frowns then. "Why didn't you write back? We- you promised you'd write."
"I did. I wrote multiple letters and brought them all to your home for your father to send, but never got a response. Eventually, he told me to bugger off and leave you alone. That you were too good for a street rat like me. That you weren't to be seen or associated with me. I peeked through the window and saw him throw my letter into the fire. I knew any other attempt would be the same."
"Why can't he just let me do or have the things I want?" he growls. "Shouldn't I have a say in who my friends are?"
Jamie brushes his hand over Mason's, then rests it gently on top. Slowly, Mason spreads his fingers and lets Jamie's slip between. Jamie looks like he's about to say something, but then they hear footsteps behind them and scramble to their feet.
It'll look suspicious, the two of them just standing there, so Mason hastily grabs a cigarette and match from his pocket and lights it. He presses it into Jamie's hand, then lights a second for himself.
"What-?"
"Act natural."
Mason leans on the railing just as a crew member comes into view. He sees the two of them 'out for a smoke' and bums a cigarette off Mason, then leaves.
"You smoke?"
"Not if I can help it," he says, flicking it overboard without taking a single drag. Jamie frowns but copies him.
"I, uh. I should get back down to third class." Jamie shifts awkwardly, then says, "Meet you here tomorrow?"
"Yes. Tomorrow."
They walk together for a bit until they have to split and go in different directions.
The next few days are a blur as he and Jamie reconnect as they spend all of their time together. There's so much to talk about, and the love Mason had for him before continues to grow with every smile and tease Jamie sends his way. They're just like how they used to be, but now Mason's older, and he knows what he wants. He wants Jamie. All of him, in every way. The best part is that he's pretty sure Jamie feels the same.
For those few days, he feels so free. He doesn't feel the weight of his papá's expectations nor his judgement. He's almost able to forget what awaits him at the end of his journey. He's able to pretend that he'll have Jamie around for more than the week on the Titanic, that their time together isn't about to come to an end.
It doesn't matter, though, when Mason is jolted from sleep by his bed shaking and trembling.
His papá goes to see what's happening, while Mason stays behind with his mamá. He makes them both a cup of tea. Before his father can come back, a crew member knocks on their door and tells them to dress warm and put on their lifebelts.
"What's happening?"
"Just a precaution, Sir. Please, put on your lifebelt."
Mason helps his mamá put on her lifebelt, then puts his own. He grabs both of their coats and hats before they leave.
On the top deck, the crew is preparing the lifeboats for launch, and Mason's stomach sinks. He urges his mamá forward when they start asking for women and children, kissing her cheek and promising he'll see her soon.
He knows he probably won't, though.
There aren't enough lifeboats for everyone, and the women and children are the priority. He might be granted a seat, given that he's first class, but it's unlikely. Those in second or third class probably won't-
Shit.
Jamie.
Jamie's in third class.
As soon as his mamá is out of sight, Mason turns and runs for the stairs. He has to fight his way through the stream of passengers coming up, and he gets lost a couple of times. He hasn't been down to their class before. Jamie's always come up to the top decks.
When he reaches E Deck, he pauses. He has no idea where in the ship Jamie's room is. Is he on the port side or starboard? Forward or aft? Mason has no clue.
He has no idea how long he spends weaving through terrified people in his desperation to find his best friend and possible lover. Like Jamie said that first night, he can't lose him again. He stumbles through hallways already ankle-deep with water, calling out Jamie's name over and over. One stairwell takes him back to the decks, and he does another lap to see if Jamie already made his way up. He doesn't see him, so he pushes his way back inside.
People have been in his way for his whole search, and he's bumped into more than one person, but only one caught him by his arms and dragged him to the side.
Jamie.
"Jamie, thank heavens. I've been looking everywhere for you."
Jamie's eyes are wild with panic, but he focuses on Mason, scanning his face for reassurance. "Do you know what's happening?"
"She's hit an iceberg. Five compartments are flooded. She's sinking."
Jamie's knees buckle, but Mason catches him before he falls.
"They're taking women and children first, but we can still see if we can get a seat."
Numbly, Jamie takes Mason's hand in his and follows as Mason leads him up the grand staircase.
Just like he expected, the scene before him is hopeless. The lifeboats are almost all gone, and there are still too many people on board. The bow of the Titanic is underwater, and the ship is at a steep enough angle it's difficult to walk. He grabs the railing and holds on tight to it and Jamie's hand as the ship continues to sink.
He can see it now; the Titanic slipping beneath the waves, killing everyone still on board.
They're practically vertical now, and it's difficult to hold on.
There's one thing he wants- no, needs to do before he dies
A horrible screeching noise fills the open air, and he watches with wide eyes as the Titanic breaks in half, cracking open through layers and layers of metal. The stern crashes down into the water, and Mason falls over, losing his grip on Jamie's hand.
For a moment, everything is still. Then the deck starts to tip again.
Mason scrambles up and reaches for the railing, but at that moment, someone sliding down the deck smacks into his legs and knocks him over again. He tries to grab Jamie's outstretched hand, but their fingers barely brush. Jamie screams his name as Mason slips away, and terror fills his beautiful blue eyes. Mason holds eye contact as long as he can, memorizing Jamie's face and saying goodbye in the last few seconds before he plunges into the freezing water.
It hurts like a thousand knives, both from the freezing temperature and the impact. It stuns him for a few seconds, and when he regains his thoughts, he realizes his wool coat is too heavy and is dragging him down. He struggles underwater, getting it off to let it sink while his lifebelt pulls him back to the surface.
He gasps for air, breathing as deeply as he can.
He only allows himself a moment of panic, then turns his eyes up to the sinking Titanic in front of him. Scanning the railing where he and Jamie were, his heart sinks when he can't find Jamie. He shouts in frustration and smacks the water around him.
The freezing ocean is doing its best to keep him from thinking rationally, but Mason still knows science. The colossal ship is sinking, and it's going to drag down whatever is near it like a whirlpool. If he doesn't want to be sucked to the bottom of the ocean with the ship, he has to swim away.
The number of people and objects already in the water makes it difficult to figure out where he's going, but he grabs onto a floating table while catching his breath.
Then he hears someone shouting his name.
He twists and sees a familiar blond head bobbing in the water a few metres away. "Jamie!"
Jamie turns, and his face fills with relief when he sees Mason. He swims over and slings one arm over the table. With the other, he cups the back of Mason's head and presses dozens of kisses to his face. "Oh my heavens, Mason. I thought- I was so scared. I couldn't find you."
"Why did you jump?"
"I couldn't leave you. And if my options are dying on the sinking ship or dying in the water with you, I want to be with you."
"We're not going to die," Mason lies. "We're going to find some way to stay alive. Something floating to keep us out of the water."
Jamie points over his shoulder. "Like that?"
Turning, Mason sees a large dresser bobbing in the water, the doors facing the sky. It's open, and all of the clothes are missing. Perfect. "Yes, just like that."
Together, they swim to the dresser and struggle onto it, but it nearly flips. They upright it to ensure no more water gets in; otherwise, it'd sink. Then Mason tries again, this time pushing Jamie into it by himself. It doesn't tip. Jamie immediately leans over for Mason's hands and pulls him in with him. It rocks uncontrollably, but luck is on their side because he falls into it instead of both of them tumbling out.
With them both in the dresser, Jamie looks up at the Titanic and blanches. Mason follows his gaze to see the stern of the ship sticking directly up out of the water, perpendicular to the ocean instead of parallel. The propellers are completely exposed, as are the rudder and keel. People are still on the decks, hanging from anything hold onto and falling into the water despite their best attempts to stay aboard. The lights flicker, then go out, plunging them all into complete darkness.
Mason curses.
"Get down," he tells Jamie. "We have to keep the centre of gravity low. Otherwise, the dresser will continue to rock."
Jamie does, and as Mason is lying down beside him, he closes the dresser's doors to protect them from the cold air.
They're soaked and shivering but alive and protected from the water and air. Jamie's heaving chest is pressed against his in the tiny box, and Mason draws him into a tight hug. It's not warm in the dresser, but it's not as cold as outside, and they can use body heat to keep themselves from freezing.
The wood doesn't do anything to keep out the horrible screeching noises of the Titanic falling apart and sinking, nor the screams of men, women, and children alike as hundreds of them face certain death. He and Jamie would've suffered the same fate if it weren't for the dresser. Technically, they still could meet that same fate if they freeze before they're found.
Mason doesn't say any of that to Jamie, though he's sure he knows.
The sounds of the ship grow louder yet quieter as it sinks. Once it, presumably, slips beneath the surface, the night is significantly quieter. It's worse now because instead of hearing the metal of the ship, all that's lefts are the gut-wrenching sobs and screams of people left in the water, alive and begging for help.
"Oh, God," Jamie whimpers, pressing his face into Mason's chest and soaking him with his tears.
Mason holds him tighter.
They stay like that for a long, long time. They cry and cling to each other as the horrible, anguished screaming of hundreds of terrified people fills the air around them like a terrifying symphony. Then, even worse, the voices die out, fading out one by one until it's silent.
Mason does his best to stay awake, but he's exhausted and sore from running all over the ship, looking for Jamie and being knocked over more than once. He drifts off in Jamie's arms.
He wakes up who knows how long later, still in the dresser, still cramped, and still exhausted, but still in Jamie's arms.
The rest of the day is a blur as they are rescued by the RMS Carpathia and given food, water, and blankets. The only thing he knows for sure is that there wasn't ever more than a few feet between him and Jamie. They clung to each other and refused to go anywhere without the other.
Shock set in.
The Ship of Dreams had sunk that night after hitting an iceberg. They later learned that only 700 of the 2,200 passengers and crew survived. It was a miracle they lived, especially without a lifeboat.
Mason didn't bother finding Bahti to let her know he was alive. As horrible as it was, this was his chance to slip away. He didn't know if either of his parents survived- he assumes his mamá did- and they wouldn't know if he survived. No one was waiting for Jamie, either. He had sailed by himself, his own mother safe in England.
Instead, they stuck together and found work and an apartment for themselves. In public, they pretended they were nothing more than best friends, but behind their closed and locked doors, they were lovers in every sense of the word. He loved Jamie with his whole heart and every fibre in his body, and Jamie loved him too.
It wasn't the life Mason's papá had planned for him, but it meant that he could live how he wanted. How he always dreamed he could; side by side with someone he loved, every day and every night spent together. Sharing a home and a bed with Jamie, his best friend, and waking up to sunny smiles and blue eyes and cheerful laughter.