Chapter Ten:
Tony awoke to a tentative knock on the door. Groaning, he buried his face into the scratchy pillow beneath him, his body slowly coming alive with the soft aches of sleeping on a lumpy mattress. He had gotten used to his new room and bed, and had long forgotten just how uncomfortable his old digs were.
"Tones? You okay in there?" Rhodey's groggy voice sounded pained even to Tony's sleep fogged ears. His poor pal probably had a hangover from hell. The thought sent a wry smile to tug on his lips. As much as he wanted to bury his face into the bedding and sleep, Tony knew he had to get up.
"Coffee," he croaked, his voice still scratchy with sleep. Idly he rubbed at his jaw, feeling the coarse stubble beneath his fingertips.
A soft chuckle and then a groan rose from the other side of the door, as if the thought of putting coffee into his belly was enough to-
And then there was the sound of feet dashing away down the hall, and the slam of the bathroom door. Tony stifled a laugh as he climbed to his feet, shaking off the tired ache that seemed to have melted into his bones. He stretched his back, trying to work out the kinks there, as he stumbled out the door and into the hall. He could hear the sound of water running in the bathroom, and the fainter sound of retching. Shaking his head he continued down the hall to his room where Rhodes had slept last night. The room was dark, the shades drawn against the piercing morning light. Rhodes had probably done that too, Tony thought with an unrepentant smirk. That would teach the old platypus to go head to head with a Russian and two super soldiers. Mere mortals simply did not have the tolerance to keep up with those three. Quietly he slipped into the room, the bed was (of course) neatly made with military precision. Probably for only the second time since he had been given this room. A wry smile tweaked at the corner of his lips. Indeed, Tony had little care for making his bed in the morning, but Rhodey had always been a stickler for it- even in college.
Shucking off his stained and dirty clothes Tony made his way to the small closet that housed his even smaller wardrobe. Had it only been a week that he had been in this room? It seemed like a lifetime ago already. The shock that had coursed through him when Steve had gently but firmly redirected him from walking down the hall toward the cupboard under the stairs to the room next to his still lingered in his mind. As did the fantom press of Steve's fingers that had cupped his elbow, pulling him gently away…
At first Tony had thought that Steve was taking him to his room. He didn't know why he thought it, surely Steve being kind did not equate to him wanting favors from Tony, and yet the odd mixture of emotions that had filled his chest were not so easily forgotten. There had been an oily taste at the back of his tongue because of course. Steve was his Alpha afterall, and although he hadn't really ever indicated that he wanted to consummate the mating, of course an Alpha had needs. And of course it was his duty to submit to those needs. At least, that was what he had always been taught by his Alpha and Omega tutors. And yet… dread wasn't the only feeling burning in his guts. There had been almost… anticipation. A blush suffused his cheeks at the memory, the trickle of want that had risen up inside him… Tony couldn't ever remember having that feeling about anyone. The thought of submitting to anyone used to make him sneer. But with Steve he could almost-
Steve had stopped short of the door to his room and Tony had almost collided into his back. Had he been so eager? He hadn't even dug his heels in or protested or…
And then Steve had opened the door to his new room. At first Tony hadn't understood. Why was Steve showing him this room? Was this where they were going to-
"I think it's about time you had a real room, Tony. I'm sorry it took so long. I," Steve stammered a bit, a blush rising to his cheeks as he waved weakly toward the interior of the bedroom.
"I can be a real knucklehead. I am sorry. Truly."
Tony had stared blankly, his mind which was usually running about a mile a minute came to a screeching halt. Steve cleared his throat at the awkward silence that had descended.
"Bucky and I took the liberty of having your things moved in here. We put your clothes in the closet over there. I figured, well, I'd feel better having you a bit closer." His hand had squeezed Tony's shoulder lightly.
Stupidly Tony had staggered into the room. Looked around. It was nice. It was clean. It was about ten times larger than his little closet. The bed was high and mounds of plush blankets and pillows covered the full size mattress. Tony walked over to the bed, fingering the linens in disbelief. There were about six blankets neatly folded on top of a plush red bedspread. Three big white fluffy pillows. Everything an Omega may want for making a nest during…
Swallowing down the strange lump in his throat, Tony turned and gave Steve a wavering smile.
"Thank you," he finally managed.
Steve rubbed the back of his neck, his gaze averted. "You don't need to thank me, Tony. I should have done this from the beginning. It was...wrong of me to put you in that room. If, in the future, I'm being - well, a blockhead, feel free to let me know. You should… you should be happy here. Comfortable. You're pack now."
Tony blushed and averted his gaze, hating himself for doing it, even as something warm and bright unfurled in his chest. He was tired of fighting off the Omega instincts that riddled his body and set his nerves to jangling.
"If you want anything or need anything, let me know. I'm right next door." Steve said softly, backing out of the room. "Good night, Tony."
"Good night, Alpha."
Tony was still blushing at those softly spoken words of deference a week later. Shaking his still sleep fogged head, he began combing through his closet and turned his thoughts back to the present moment. There were more shirts and pants here now than what he had brought with him. Steve and the rest of the pack kept sneaking things into his room. A bright red button down shirt gifted by Natasha, a few pairs of jeans that held traces of Steve's scent, a few more ACDC shirts had appeared a few days later, this time bearing the trace scent of Bucky. The pajama bottoms with rubber ducks, as well as the pajamas with a large red heart on the backside, had carried Barton's scent. Tony rolled his eyes. He had worn them with pride, causing snorts and guffaws as he sashayed through the dining room with a pot of coffee over pack breakfast.
He was deciding what to wear when a soft knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.
"Colonel, there's a call for-"
Tony froze, like a deer caught in the headlights. He glanced over his shoulder to see the broad form of Steve filling the doorway silhouetted by the light from the hallway. Steve's blue eyes were wide as a blush spread up his neck and over his cheeks. Tony met Steve's wide eyed stare with one of his own, watching in fascination as the alpha's lips parted and a gust of air escaped him. It took a moment to figure out what Steve was staring at.
Him. Steve was staring at him. Stark naked. No pun intended.
Normally, Tony would have made a joke to diffuse the sudden tension that filled the air. He might have even spun in a circle and made a sweeping bow if it had been anyone else that had walked into the room. The thought came to him, and just as quickly fled. All he could do, it seemed, was stare back shocked at the hot look that had entered Steve's eyes as they traced a molten path from his shoulders to his back to his ass - where that hot look seemed to linger almost longingly for a bit, before snapping back up to Tony's own startled face.
Steve's face became redder than a tomato then, and the Alpha visibly shook himself before stumbling back out of the doorway and slamming it closed behind him.
"Sorry! God- Sorry!" He heard the pained whisper through the door before the soft pad of Steve's feet hurrying back down the stairs reached his ears. It was the first time he had seen Steve retreat from anything.
Fingers fumbling on the plain white t-shirt in his grip, Tony let the smile he had been holding back bloom across his face. He threw his head back and guffawed, uncaring of who might hear or how the sound would carry down the stairs after Steve's retreating form.
"Come on Rhodey bear, open up." Tony cajoled from the other side of the bathroom door some minutes later. Amusement curled in his chest like a lazy cat.
"Never gonna drink with you-" the sound of a muttered expletive was muffled by another hacking retch. "-pack of -" more vomiting ensued. "How can anyone drink that much and still-"
Tony sighed, arms crossed over his chest and fingers drumming lightly against his arms as he leaned against the hallway wall.
"I told you to slow down, I told you this would happen." Tony reminded his best friend unhelpfully, a smirk curving across his mouth.
"Yeah, you sure did, and yet you were the one who was pouring the drinks last night." The toilet flushed, and Rhodes groaned.
"Each man is the master of his own destiny, platypus. Far be it for me to get in the way." Tony paused. "There's a spare toothbrush in the closet there." Tony supplied chipperly. Ah, this reminded him of college. The good old days.
"Ass." Rhodey grumbled through the door. Tony chuckled dryly. A few moments later Rhodes opened the door, his skin a little paler than his usual rich umber tone. Tony brushed by him, making quick work of brushing his teeth and using the bathroom. When he came out it was to see a solemn looking Rhodes planted across from him. Arms crossed over his chest and a flinty look in his normally laughing eyes.
Uh-oh.
"What's with the face?" Tony gestured toward the all but scowling visage of his oldest friend.
"I saw where you were sleeping last night, Tony. And that room smells more strongly of you then the one I slept in last night. Care to explain?"
Tony groaned, mentally. This was not what he needed today. Rhodes wasn't the only one with a hangover. But even Tony could see that the normally mild mannered Colonel Rhodes had his Alpha feathers all ruffled. He could also see where the situation could go if he did not diffuse it right now.
Tiredly Tony ran a hand through his hair. He just wasn't up to this. His hormones were still all fucky, and he had his doctor appointment later today. "Okay, so my room has been recently upgraded." A low growl rumbled in Rhodes' chest, but Tony put up a hand to forestall him.
"There was… it was… well, it was really rough initially here Rhodey. I'm not going to lie about that. But let me tell you, honestly, I've handled worse. I used to live with Howard, remember? There was like, a year, where he locked me in the attic. If I can survive that old codger, I can pretty much survive anything."
Rhodes' gaze only darkened further. Fuck. He was fucking this up. Where was coffee when you needed it? Or an asteroid to just smash him into oblivion because that might be less painful then serious conversation in the morning before coffee. Christ.
"Right, well, the point is that this isn't the worst situation I've been in. On top of the fact that… things have changed. Really changed. I-" Tony took a deep fortifying breath. "I think that maybe for the first time I could see myself here. Fitting here. They... " Tony's throat tightened and his gaze darted away just in time to see Rhodey's hard frown begin to melt.
"I like them, Rhodey." Tony said softly, with an almost self deprecating laugh. "And I'm...I'm afraid if they get to know me, the real me, they won't-"
"Shut up, nerd." Rhodey's arms wrapped around him in a familiar comforting embrace. "To know you is to love you, idiot. Even if you are an unrepentant asshole sometimes. But Tony," Rhodey pulled away a little to look him in the eye. "Under no circumstances is abuse okay. Being treated like a second class citizen in a pack because of your dynamic… that's just not the way things are done anymore. No self respecting Alpha…"
Tony nodded his head and pulled back. "I know. Things were just...complicated. I did some pretty awful shit to that kid in highschool. You don't even know the half of it. It took some time to...get to know each other. As we are. Now."
Rhodes shook his head softly. "How are they supposed to get to know you when you are sitting on top of so many secrets that are so fundamental to who you are? When are you going to tell them?"
Tony frowned, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away from his friend's piercing stare.
"To be a part of a healthy pack, Tones, there has to be trust. There are no places for secrets like that."
Tony flapped a hand dismissively in the air. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll tell them when the time is right, Rhodey."
Rhodey's lips thinned as his assessing gaze swept over his friend. He let out a soft sigh.
"I just hope, Tones, that you don't wait until it's too late." He slung a strong arm around Tony's shoulder. "Now let's go get you some of that magic bean juice."
"Yes, thank God ."
Breakfast went swimmingly if Tony did say so himself. Newly ousted as a decent cook, Tony whipped up a small spread for the pack, with a leary eyed Rhodey hovering over his shoulder.
"I told you I'm not going to burn it, Rhodes!"
"I'll believe it when I see it. Fool me once and all that."
Tony rolled his eyes as he tried to hide his smile, bumping his hip against Rhodey's to scooch him out of the way from the stove. He didn't miss Steve's narrowed eyed stare aimed Rhodey's way, and he wondered at it.
A half hour of puttering around the kitchen and Tony had laid out on the table a plate of crepes with maple ricotta and freshly sliced strawberries, omelettes with mozzarella, basil, sundried tomatoes, and ham, and homemade waffles that were high and fluffy with a mocha drizzle.
The Avengers dug in, in various stages of hangover, and for a brief moment silence reigned at the table. Tony leaned back, sipped his coffee, and let the familiar sound of forks scraping against plates lull him into an early morning peace.
A peace that was shattered about a minute later by Clint's loud, indignant, voice.
"Oh, fuck you Tony." the archer said through a mouthful of fluffy waffle, his face a mix of pleasure and indignation as his jaw worked furiously.
At Tony's startled look, Clint swallowed and continued. "This whole time we've been eating scrambled eggs and picking out shells, and you' ve been capable of this? I think I might hate you."
Tony snorted as the rest of the pack chimed in, ribbing him gently while praising him in equal measure. The omega inside of him preened at the attention and the praise. Which was weird. And awful. But kinda okay, actually.
After breakfast Tony headed out to the barn, a full and sated Rhodes hot on his heels. The team wasn't aware that Rhodes had been visiting under duress or that WarMachine was in need of a tuneup, to say the least. Tony felt reasonably safe puttering around with his invention for a bit before the pack might grow suspicious. The barn had quickly become Tony's second lab, although a much more rustic DIY version, it was a place of solace for him in the same way his old lab had been. Much like his old lab, Tony preferred to work alone. People hanging around asked questions, poked stuff that shouldn't be touched, and were just distracting. If Tony was too wrapped up in calculations or thought, they got offended when he didn't answer. Touchy touchy people.
"What does the sign say, platypus?" Tony questioned dryly, waving toward the homemade "Omega's Only" sign on the barn door.
Rhodes blinked, turning a disbelieving stare his way as Tony physically blocked the entrance to the barn. "You're serious?"
"As a heart attack. Now go kick rocks and let the Omega work his magic." Tony made shooing motions with his hands, pushing Rhodes back and away from the barn door.
"But -" Tony shook his head, slipping inside the barn "-property of the united states government-" Tony did nothing to hide his derisive snort "need to be-"
"What are you gonna do, stand over my shoulder while I read diagnostics? You gonna dab the sweat from my brow? Fan me if I get overheated?" Tony rolled his eyes at his old friend. "I've got this Rhodes. Now go off and play with the other Alphas. Shoo shoo." Tony tutted before closing the door Rhodey's indignant face.
A smile played across his lips at the expression on his dear old friend's face. He'd be fine for a couple hours pal-ing around with the Avengers. Hopefully there wouldn't be any irreparable harm done. Most likely Rhodey would be pulled into some crazy training exercise Steve had concocted. He could just as likely be pumped for information from both Natasha and Clint. Tony didnt feel bad, Rhodes could handle himself. As far as Tony was concerned, the Colonel had it coming after showing up like he did. Chuckling Tony approached War Machine, fingers walking casually across the metal suit. His poor baby, desecrated by that raging hemorrhoid named Justin Hammer.
"Okay Jarvis, lets run a full scan and see what's cooking -"
"Hopefully not Colonel Rhodes, sir."
"Good one. Well yes, hopefully we can unfuck whatever Hammeroid did to my baby."
"Running diagnostics now sir."
Tony leaned back against the barn wall, bottom lip caught between his teeth and his head canted to the side. Rhodey would probably be fine, right? What was the worst that could happen? With that uncharacteristically optimistic thought, Tony readily returned to his work. Calculations, formulas and mechanics were so much easier than people-ing.
It was a couple hours later that Tony ventured out of the barn feeling victorious. He had been able to fix Hamroid's wonky code remotely through Jarvis. It was difficult not having the comfort and accessibility of his lab, but Tony was a goddamn genius. Even without Jarvis he likely could have figured something out, but he was all about working smarter, not harder. He had also taken the liberty of wiping the gps coordinates for this location, and a couple of other sensitive locations, from WarMachine's memory. If, for some reason, War Machine was taken away from Rhodes, they would never be able to find the Avenger's pack land. And if someone tried to meddle with the code again, Tony would be immediately notified through Jarvis. A smirk curled on his lips at the thought of the countless fail safes he had put on his bff's armor.
Tony took the long walk from the barn to the house, appreciating the beauty of the day around him. The sky was a bright clear blue with not a cloud in sight, the soft breeze blowing through the fields carried the fresh scent of tilled earth and pine. It was beautiful out here, in the middle of nowhere, and it was starting to feel like home.
Tony's eyes lighted upon two figures sitting on the steps of the front porch, shoulder to shoulder. His feet turned him that way, curiosity flaring as the familiar forms of Rhodes and Steve came into view. The sound of their laughter and ribbing filled the air. Tony smiled. He was glad that his best friend and his mate were getting along. Rhodey's opinion meant every–
He skidded to a stop in front of the two chuckling Alphas.
Both were filthy. Covered in grass and dirt stains. Steve still had grass sticking in his hair, a smudge of dirt cutting across his cheek. Which was nothing compared to the bloody lip his Alpha was now sporting. Panic had his eyes swinging toward Rhodey, who was also covered in dirt and grass, but seemed to be no worse for the wear save for a small smudge of a bruise on his cheekbone.
"Tony!" Rhodey jumped to his feet as if shocked. He was wearing his guilty face, and Tony's eyes narrowed in suspicion.
Tony turned toward his long time friend. "What. Did. You. Do."
Steven chuckled, easing up to his feet with a grace that a panther would envy. "Don't worry about it Tony, we just had a…friendly discussion. Between Alphas." He reached out to clap Rhodes on the shoulder. "We're good now."
" Now ? You're good, now? "
"Dont worry about it, Tones. Everything is fine." Rhodey mussed Tony's hair affectionately. "I do really have to get going though. The brass is breathing down my neck about getting back to base."
He turned toward Steve, shaking his hand. "Thank you for your hospitality, Captain."
Steve smiled broadly, a bit of blood still in his teeth. It made him look absolutely savage. "It was my pleasure Colonel. You're welcome any time, we were happy to have you."
Tony sputtered indignantly as he was pulled into a strong hug. "Call me if you need anything Tony."
"Sure, just 'wham, bam, thank you man' me. It's fine. I don't have feelings."
Rhodey snorted, shaking his head as he pulled away. "Be good Tony, and remember what I said about secr-"
Tony slammed his hand over Rhodey's mouth. "Yup. Okay. Got it. Time for you to go. Shake, stir, thank you sir."
Rhodey chuckled, giving Tony one last affectionate pat on the back before he headed up the hill and into the barn. Turning slowly, he met Steve's curious gaze. Clapping his hands together abruptly, Tony sucked his teeth and let out a deep sigh.
"So! Time to go into the city, yes? We flying? Driving?"
Steve shook his head, cheek creasing, as he turned away and headed up the steps to the pack house.
"A bit of both, actually. Steve got up, patting the pockets of his tight denim blue jeans as if looking for his keys. Tony's lips quirked with the mirth that was surely shining in his eyes, crinkling the corners.
"Ahem, uhm, you got a little something on your face and in your hair there Spangles," Tony chuckled. Steve ran his fingers through his hair, trying to shake the debris loose.
"Better?"
"Hm, no. Here, let me just.." Tony approached the broad Alpha with sure steps still smiling at the picture Steve presented with grass and straw peeking through his short cropped hair. The Alpha looked like a local farm boy who had just had a good tussle in a hay stack. His breath faltered at the image that conjured in his mind. Shaking his head to clear thoughts of Steve shirtless in a pair of overalls, Tony went up on his tip toes to reach the top of Steve's head. The thing of it was Tony had forgotten just how tall Steve was in comparison to him. As his fingers closed around the straw, his balance slipped a bit. Tony found himself rather suddenly pressed flush against the Steve's broad chest, hand splayed across a firm and unyielding pectoral muscle. He could feel the beat of Steve's heart beneath his palm. The hot heat of him. He inhaled Steve's scent, he smelt of the outdoors, clean and fresh and earthy. God, why did the Alpha have to smell so good?
"Oh, uh, oops." Tony chuckled nervously, swallowing hard as his stomach seemed to drop out from under him. "I uh, just - oh look you've got some more straw here too-" Tony, distracted, plucked the pieces from Steve's crown, entirely focused on his task. When all the lawn debris and detritus was cleared from Steve's head and shoulders, and chest and…was that some on his stomach? Tony's gaze finally drifted up to the two smiling blue eyes that held an unfamiliar heat in them.
It was then that Tony realized that not only was he pressed up flush against Steve, using the Alpha's chest (where his hand still lingered) as a brace, but on tiptoe (such as he was) his face was precariously close to those smiling blue orbs. How had he never noticed how thick Steve's lashes were, the way those eyes seemed to warm when Steve smiled?
"Good?" Steve husked, eyes narrowing slightly as they swept over Tony's face.
"Hm, yeah."Tony agreed on what almost suspiciously sounded like a sigh. "Good."
It was a few heartbeats later that he realized Steve was asking if all the straw was out of his hair. Eyes widening in alarm, Tony dropped flat to his feet and did a weird hop-scuffle backward.
"Yeah the grass is good, er gone, that is." Tony cleared his throat, confused and slightly mortified. Being pressed up against Steve had felt… it had just felt right in a way that he had never truly experienced before. It felt almost…safe.
"You should probably, um, change though. Cuz" he motioned up and down at Steve's rumpled clothing. "Grass stains. Yep. Yep I'm just going to go wait…over there." Tony pointed behind him, ducking his head and marching down the steps as he fought off a blush. He didn't miss Steve's broad smile, or the deep chuckle that followed him across the yard.
—-
The drive was a relatively short one to the super secret airfield that was hiding the jet that would take them into the city. They would land just outside the city at yet another super secret airfield, get another car, and drive to Tony's appointment. Everything was going swimmingly, if Tony did say so himself.
"Mr. Stark-Rogers," Dr. Rothstein sighed, flipping through the pages of Tony's medical chart in an effort to avoid meeting Tony's eyes. He was very familiar with this little game they played every time Tony came in for an office visit. As a matter of fact, the two of them had on more than one occasion gotten into it with some pretty heated words. When it came to his meds, good ol' Doc Rothstein and America's favorite playboy philanthropist just couldn't seem to see eye to eye. It felt different this time though. Something fundamental had changed. He didn't have the swagger and arrogance that had once so defined him. He didn't need to pretend to be something that he wasn't. It was weird being in the city, surrounded by all of this… humanity after spending over a month out in the country. Tony resisted the urge to swing his legs as he shifted uncomfortably on the examination table. His paper gown crinkled with every slight movement, which irritated him to no end. "To be frank, your labs are not looking great. You've known this for quite some time now. If we continue on as we have been, permanent damage might be done to your reproductive system…if it hasn't already."
Tony shook his head and sighed well versed in the Doctor's usual speech, fingers white knuckling the edge of the table. "We can change the dose, adjust it to-"
"Mr. Stark," Dr. Rothstein cut in, impatience lingering on the sharp edge of his words "as I told your father, all those many years ago, these drugs should only be used as a temporary solution. Certainly not for a decade or more! You know this. You've known this. Maybe it is time to look at this slip up as a blessing in disguise. It may very well have saved your life."
Tony ground his teeth together. "I can't … stay like this." Tony placed his hand over his heart which was racing beneath the thin paper gown. "I feel so much, all the time. I don't want to feel this way anymore, I don't want to feel so, so…weak."
Compassion softened the harsh lines on Dr. Rothstein's face. "I can prescribe something for that. What you're feeling is withdrawal, and it's awful. But not all of it is withdrawal symptoms, Tony. You've been on a medication that has changed the way your brain works and changes the hormones in your body. You're going to go through a transitional phase, and it will likely be a little rough, but if you don't do this then it is a matter of time before the medication damages something permanently. I am going to prescribe something that will take the edge off of your panic attacks, but Mr. Stark-Rogers it is normal to feel emotions and it doesn't make you weak. It is only human to feel fear, anxiety, anger, love, shame, happiness, the whole spectrum of emotions…the medication you were on muted all those feelings which is why everything feels so overwhelming to you." Dr. Rothstein paused, then cleared his throat awkwardly. "The best thing we can do, right now, is to taper you off of the suppressants you are using currently."
Tony's eyes widened with horror.
"Doctor, are you suggesting that I discontinue all suppressants? Won't that send me straight into a heat?"
"Yes, ah, well I understand that you are newly mated," Dr. Rothstein murmured softly before pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "...the likelihood of conception, of course, is very low, all things considered."
There was no freaking way. No suppressants? Just walking around feeling…raw? All the time? Not to mention the dreams and the panic attacks and the weird need to be close to his packmates. Especially one tall, broad, blonde one in particular. He couldn't. Wouldn't.
"For how long? How long before I can go back on the suppressants?" There was a bit of a desperate edge to Tony's voice.
"That really depends on how your bloodwork comes back. I would like to see you back here after your first heat without suppressants to run some labs and check your hormone levels. Ideally…well, I'd say we're looking on the outside of a year or so before your body recovers from the drugs."
Tony groaned, dropping his head into his hands, elbows planted on his knees. A year? A fucking year without suppressants? His jaw tightened, fingers funneling through his hair. There was no way. He'd have to figure something else, have to do something different, maybe he'd run his own labs... Tony let out a series of harsh breaths. Only he didn't have access to his labs anymore, did he? The future loomed in front of him, scary and uncertain, and for the first time in a long time he wasn't sure he could fix it. How was he supposed to tell Steve?
"Mr. Stark Rogers? Can you hear me? I understand that this news may not be welcome. And of course it is overwhelming, but I assure you that it is the best course of action. The suppressant you were on before would surely send you into an early grave if you were to continue to use it. As it stands…" here the doctor sighed "Now that you are mated, I am legally obligated to disclose all medical information regarding your reproductive health to your Alpha."
The blood rushed from Tony's face. Those stupid fucking archaic laws. How could he have forgotten? Why was that still a thing? He watched in horrified fascination as Dr. Rothstein opened the door and had a murmured conversation with someone outside the door.
"I am very sorry Mr. Stark-Rogers, but I can not skirt the law."
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Steve was going to know! He was going to - what if he felt obligated to- Oh gods. Tony didn't know what was worse. Being forced to go into heat…or knowing that Steve felt obligated to help him through the heat. That he didn't really want Tony, because really? Why would he? After everything that Tony had put him through, after all the secrets? Tony bit his lip to bring his thoughts back into focus. Much too soon a quiet knock came on the door. Dr. Rothstein opened it to see Steve standing there, his head canted to the side and his face tight with concern.
"Is…everything okay, Tony?" Steve's gaze swept up his paper gown clad body, lingering on the fingers that he was currently twisting desperately in his lap. Steve's nostrils flared, no doubt scenting Tony's distress and humiliation, before his gaze swept the room as if assessing for threats. Lips flattening into a disapproving line, he turned the hard blue eyed gaze on the Doctor.
"What is the meaning of this?" Steve's voice was deceptively soft. If it had been any other day, Tony probably would have enjoyed the way the good Doctor squirmed under that penetrating stare.
"Ah, Mr. Rogers. I am, ah, in accordance with the law, chapter 419 section 21a, that is, I am required to inform you-" Tony's shoulders hunched, his heart raced, and he closed his eyes as if that would make any of this stop. He wished he could disappear. Steve may no longer be his enemy, but this was entirely too embarrassing. Not to mention that Dr. Rothstein was required to report any reproductive issues to his Alpha. Tony might not be able to have children. It had never been a concern before because, frankly, Tony hadn't planned on settling down and growing old with someone. He hadn't planned on growing old at all. He was well aware that his lifestyle was not conducive to a long and happy life. As long as he was able to accomplish his goals and protect his people, he hadn't really cared.
"Stop." Steve held a firm hand up to Dr. Rothstein, who snapped his mouth shut at the bite in Steve's tone. Steve turned to Tony, a warm gentle hand landing on his shoulder and squeezing softly. Tony blinked up in confusion at the concerned face of Steven Rogers.
"We can leave now. Whatever he has to say, I don't have to hear it if you don't want me to."
Tony's heart stopped beating in his chest as he stared up at his mate. Who was this man? Tony's father would have never dreamed of asking Tony for permission for anything, nor would have Obie for that matter. His whole life had been dictated by the whims of powerful Alphas. Even Steve had been an overbearing ass when Tony had first landed on his doorstep. It was just the natural order of things. It was what was expected. Had so much changed since then? Was Steve really giving him an out? Emotion clogged his throat, making it tight and hard to breathe through. More importantly, did he deserve it? Steve… Steve deserved to know that Tony might not be able to give him what he wanted. He might never be able to have children, and while that thought had never bothered him in the past, the thought of a little kid with Steve's bright blue eyes and roguish grin…
"N-no. It's…it's okay. You can…it's okay. You should know." Tony managed to mumble, a hot blush rising to paint his cheeks a fiery red. He turned his face away in shame. God he hated feeling this way. He hated feeling at all.
"Uh, as I was, saying…" Dr. Rothstein cleared his throat, giving Steve a wan smile. "It appears that the suppressants that Mr. Stark Rogers was on for the past 10 years may have adversely affected his reproductive abilities." Tony's eyes flickered up to the side to gauge Steve's response, watching as his jaw firmed before those blue eyes once again fell to Tony's face, searching. Tony bit his lip and dropped his eyes to his lap, wishing the floor would just open up and swallow him whole.
Did Steve want kids? Probably. Most Alphas did. The air whooshed out of him at the thought. It's not like… it's not like this thing between them was forever though, a small voice whispered consolingly in the back of his mind. What would Steve want with the man who had made his life a living hell as a kid? There was so much bad blood between them, so many misunderstandings. So many secrets. Even if Steve did want kids, what was to say that he wanted to have those kids with Tony?
Dr. Rothstein shifted nervously at the continued silence that filled the exam room. "In order to see the extent of that damage, and for the omega's health, I reccom-"
"His name is Tony. He's a person. Not 'the omega'" Steve interrupted, one arm curling around Tony's shoulders. The warm, hot heat, the comforting weight of Steve's arm made Tony's spine shudder before melting beneath his touch. He leaned into Steve's side, shocked at his body's instinctive reaction.
"Right, my apologies. My recommendation is to wean Tony off the suppressants that he is currently on, and discontinue all use of such medications until he has had at least two full heat cycles."
Tony's cheeks flamed as Steve's fingers tightened on his shoulder.
"Ah," Steve made a sound of understanding, and Tony couldn't help but turn to look up at him. Apparently he wasn't the only one blushing now. "I see. And this will help?"
"Indeed, it will allow us to see the extent of the damage, as well as allow Tony's body to heal itself. Suppressants are useful for a short time, but are not meant to be used for as long as Tony has used them. It is, uh, unlikely that either of his heats will result in conception if that is a concern of yours."
Now it was Steve's turn to clear his throat, his cheeks pink, as he nodded.
Tony dropped his gaze back to his lap as Dr. Rothstein made his goodbyes.
"Tony, would you please look at me?" Steve's strained voice cut through the cancerous thoughts swirling in his head. Apparently the Alpha had been trying to capture his attention for some time. Warm hands engulfed his own as Steve knelt on the floor in front of him.
"I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I'm sorry…I know that this isnt what you wanted. We can get a second opinion if you want one. A third opinion too, maybe from an Omega doctor. They're out there, and their bedside manner is probably miles better than that backwards old codger. As far as the other stuff…it uh, doesnt matter to me. As long as you're healthy, it doesn't matter, okay? Don't…don't worry about that stuff."
Tony pressed his lips together and nodded.
"You had another place you wanted to visit, right? Why don't you get dressed and we'll head over there."
Tony licked his dry lips and nodded, feeling more defeated than he had in a while.
"Thanks, Steve." Tony whispered. Steve just smiled and squeezed his hand gently before ducking out of the exam room to give Tony his privacy.
Steve stared at the squat four story brick building that was dwarfed by the glass and steel sky scrapers that lined the busy and bustling street. The little building, to be honest, stuck out like a sore thumb in a place like this. There was a small courtyard where several young children ran about laughing and squealing as they kicked a soccer ball from one end of the courtyard to the other. The building itself was encased by a sturdy wrought iron fence. There were cameras mounted on the fence and the building, all entrances carefully monitored. There were also planter boxes on almost every window, each one boasting a colorful array of flowers that were very obviously meticulously maintained. In some of the windows Steve could make out childrens artwork - cut out paper leaves and rainbows. If Steve had to say something about the building it would be that it was well cared for and cheerful. There was no sign adorning the building, nothing to give away the nature of what was inside.
Steve, however, knew exactly where they were. Tony had given him the address to one of New York's' leading Omega shelters. It was a place of refuge for abused and neglected omegas. He would be lying if he said that the thought of letting Tony walk in there made his heart race for reasons he didn't want to examine right now.
Doubt prickled at the edges of his mind. Why had Tony wanted to come here of all places? Steve had thought things were good between them. Perhaps he was just visiting a friend. Regardless, Steve couldn't help but feel unease brew with him as he side eyed an uncharacteristically quiet Tony.
"We're here Tony. Did you want to go in?"
Tony blinked out of his stupor before shooting him a rather nervous glance, his smile tight at the corners. Sometimes his mate could be so open and carefree, and other times he constructed what seemed like these insurmountable walls - meant to keep everyone out and his true self locked away. Not that Tony didn't have a reason to mistrust, Steve had definitely not been kind to Tony in the beginning of their mating.
He hadn't understood that the person Tony was now was not the same as the highschool boy who had once driven him to angry tears on an almost weekly basis. God, Tony had been an awful little prick in highschool. Steve couldn't walk down a hallway without being shoved into a wall or stuffed into a locker (pre-serum, obviously). Even after he bulked up the torment didn't end. His things were constantly being torn out of his hands, ripped to shreds in front of him. He was tripped and pushed around, his personal belongings marked with grafiti if not outright sabotaged, nevermind the nasty rumors that Tony spread around the school about him. His personal favorite was that he was a male escort and had only gotten into the prestigious private school by sucking the headmaster's dick because, according to Tony, the headmaster had a thing for prepubescent boys with cocksucking lips. To be fair, that headmaster had been a bit of a creep. But still, the speculative glances that particular rumor had earned him, as well as the stuttering propositions from some of his classmates, still burned. High school had been awful for Steve, but there had certainly been some high points. Like his friendship with Bucky, and of course Peggy. That is, until Tony ruined that too. It was hard to reconcile that highschool bully with the man that Tony was today. Steve understood that Tony had been hiding who he really was, hiding his dynamic, but he still honestly couldn't understand why and Tony was anything but forthcoming on the topic. Any time Steve tried to bring up the past in an attempt to get the answers to the questions that burned in his chest, Tony deflected hard. His omega would suddenly find some task or chore to do somewhere far away from Steve and his questions.
Even still, the man who played with feral chickens, who encouraged his packmates, who played with Cooper in the backyard until both of them were a giggling mess… it was hard to imagine that he was the same person. And that was the crux of it, wasn't it? Tony was never that person. He had never been an Alpha with something to prove. He had been an omega, probably terrified that at any moment his secret could be uncovered. He could only imagine what Tony was going through right now. He watched as his mate unbuckled his seat belt slowly, hesitantly, before shooting Steve a rather closed off look.
"Its… this is…" Tony was struggling to tell him where they were, and that he would not be allowed in the building. Omega shelters were for omegas and their children only. An adult male Alpha in his prime certainly would not be welcome here. These omegas were victims of abuse. Seeing Steve, despite all of his good intentions, would most certainly trigger some very traumatic memories for some of these people.
"I know where we are, Tony." Steve said with a stoic nod, trying to read the emotions that were flickering across the slighter man's face.
Tony's cheeks turned rosy and he shot Steve an alarmed look. "I'm here to visit…not to stay." Tony scoffed, shaking his head as he opened the car door. "They'd drag me out of this place in handcuffs, kicking and screaming. No way around the clause in the contract I signed with the board, unfortunately, because trust me I thought of coming here first. But I couldn't put the other Omegas and children through it." Tony blew out a hot breath, his bangs fluttering into his warm whiskey eyes.
"I shouldn't be long. An… hour at most?" There was a nervous air about him, as if he were expecting Steve to restrict his time visiting…whoever it was he was here to see.
"An hour is fine. Take your time. It's your day." Steve leaned back in the driver seat, getting comfortable.
The relieved smile that flashed across Tony's face made Steve's heart ache for his mate.
"Alright I'm just gonna…" Tony ducked out of the car, closed the door, and patted the top of the roof in that awkward, erratic manner of his. Steve watched as Tony walked through the gates and into the courtyard. He laughed as his mate was immediately mobbed by a group of children who seemed absolutely delighted to see him. Whether that was because Tony was famous, or because of familiarity remained to be seen. The way the children tugged at his hands and clothing made Steve suspect that latter. Steve watched with interest as a small group of them, his mate included, disappeared inside the building. Steve settled back into the driver's seat, content to wait.
It was a little over an hour later that Steve watched Tony come striding out of the Omega Sanctuary, a smile spread across his face and white teeth flashing. He seemed more relaxed, there was a looseness in his chest and stride that had not been present earlier. A stream of children followed his mate out of the building, their excited chatter filling the air as they mobbed a now laughing Tony.
Tony extracted himself from the group with care, pausing when a shy boy of about twelve approached with cautious steps. Tony reached out, pulling the boy into a strong hug, and Steve watched as the tension in the boy's small shoulders melted beneath Tony's easy affection. The other children scampered back into the building, leaving Tony with his small friend. The exchanged words, there was a lot of nodding and back patting before Tony pulled away and waved, making his way to the car. There was something about the slight omega that warmed his chest, made him want to tuck Tony under his arm and pull him into a protective hug. Heat flashed through him as he remembered this morning. Opening the door to a dimly lit room and expecting to find a sleepy Colonel Rhodes. His eyes had no problem adjusting to the dark room. Imagine his surprise when instead of the Colonel his eyes had alighted upon a very, very, naked Tony. The breath had left his chest as shock and something else, something hotter and more deeply penetrating, had punched him in the gut. He couldn't help but look at that long expanse of flesh in the dim light of early morning. The long lean line of him put on display, a feast for the eyes. Steve hadn't been able to help himself. He looked. Tony was built leanly muscled, with a swimmer's physique. His eyes had dropped to his mate's rounded backside, those two firm globes that begged to be -
Imagine his mortification when his gaze snapped up to meet the shocked whiskey eyes of his mate. He had been caught ogling Tony. Steve didn't remember the last time he retreated from anything, but he had almost stumbled over his own feet in his haste to get out of that room and away from the amusement that was curling like a lazy cat on the corners of Tony's mouth.
Lost in memory, Steve startled when Tony opened the door. His mate sat down, buckled up, and turned to Steve with an open and honest smile.
"Thanks for making the stop here. I had some friends I needed to visit, and some old business stuff I needed to iron out."
"Business stuff?" Steve questioned, noticing the flush that crept up his mate's neck.
"Uh yeah, well I dont know that I would call it business per say. More like making sure my philanthropic investments were safe."
Ahh, that made sense. Steve parted his lips to ask when and why Tony had gotten involved ith the sanctuary when he caught a familiar scent. He paused, inhaling sharply, his mind picking through and discarding … was that…
"Peggy..." Steve's gaze snapped up to the building, as if he could see beyond those brick walls to what lay beyond. There was a sharp intake of breath and Tony cursed under his breath.
Tony had gone into that building. Tony had been visiting friends, he said. He came out of there, happier and more relaxed, and smelling like Steve's highschool girlfriend. A girlfriend that Tony had once fucked and impregnated. Steve took a deep breath to try to calm the anger that was burning in his chest, but instead caught more of Peggy's scent. He couldn't help the growl that rumbled out of his throat, not when his chest felt it was on fire with a jealous sort of rage.
And that was the hell of it, wasn't it? Because Steve knew he wasn't jealous that Tony had spent time with Peggy. He was jealous that Peggy had spent time with his mate . The two of them clearly had a history. Had they…were they still…
"It's…god Steve, I'm sorry I wasn't thinking. I forgot for a second… I didn't touch her. I swear. We're just friends." Tony was leaning back and away from him, his shoulders hunched and his eyes widened and flinching with fear. Tony was afraid of him, afraid of his reaction. Not that Steve could blame him. The last time Steve had found out the two of them had been together he had beat the stuffing out of Tony. Throwing the upperclassman down the hall, bloodying the pretentious little prick's face with the fury of his fists. If it hadn't been for Bucky, pulling him off a beaten and bloody Tony, he would have put his nemesis in the hospital for sure. His anger diminished at the thought, deflating like a three day old helium balloon. He had put hands on an omega. Sure, he had not known it at the time, but he had still beat the shit out of Tony. And Tony was an omega, had always been one, even when he had been posturing as an Alpha.
Shame curdled in his guts, hands tightening on the wheel of the car. Without another word to the flinching omega at his side, Steve turned the car on and pulled out into traffic. They drove back to the airfield in tense silence, Tony refusing to meet his eyes, and baring his neck in submission whenever Steve happened to glance his way. Which, only made Steve more ashamed. Angry at himself and angry at the situation. He locked his jaw, grinding his teeth together in frustration. He couldnt bring himself to tell Tony that he wasnt mad. Because he was mad. He was furious, in fact. How could Tony go there and spend time with her when he knew about their shared history? Were the two of them an item? A thing all these years later? Was Steve a third wheel in his own mating? It was hard not to feel betrayed, to stop the angry thoughts that were cycling through his head.
Neither of them broke the silence until the jet touched down.
"Steve?" Tony cleared his throat, tentative as they made their way to the car. "I-"
"Are you still fucking her?" The question exploded out of Steve's mouth before he could stop himself. He jerked the door open, climbing inside and slamming it behind him. Fuck. He pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. He needed to calm down.
Tony opened the passenger door and slipped in. "No, no Steve. I'm not… it hasn't been - I haven't…" Tony stuttered. "I wouldn't do that to you."his mate finally managed to get out.
Steve snorted. That was hilarious, considering that Tony had done exactly that in highschool.
They drove out of the base and onto the highway. Steve kept his speed reasonable, despite the anger brewing in his chest. The hurt. The jealousy. HIs mate was in the car, afterall. As angry as he was with Tony right now, he would never risk his mate that way.
The closer they got to home, the more tense the silence in the car got, until Steve couldnt help himself.
"Why?"
Tony cleared his throat nervously, peeking up at him from the corner of his eye. His omega was leaning away from him, his head thrown back on the headrest to bare the vulnerable line of his throat. His palms were face up on his lap. Textbook omega submission. Christ, Steve was scaring his mate and he didn't even mean to.
Tony licked his dry lips. "Why what?"
"Why did you do it? All those years ago you made my life a living hell. You went out of your way to hurt me time and time again. And then when that wasnt enough you went out and fucked my girlfriend." Tony flinched "Made sure the whole school knew about it too. And then you threw her and your child away like trash. Boasted about how you made her get an abortion. And now you're what? Friends? Lovers? Why Tony. You owe me a god damn explanation and I will not tolerate any more fucking lies from you." Steve growled, slamming the car into park as they finally reached home. He was done with the secrets and half truths. Done with all of it. He was going to get some damn answers from his shifty mate once and for all.
Steve was surprised at the spicy scent of omega rage that filled the car. Gone was his submissive omega mate. Sitting next to him, furiously yanking at his seatbelt and throwing the door open was an irate Tony. Tony exploded from the car, crossing the driveway and was halfway across the lawn before Steve burst from the car, hot on his heels.
"You owe me a god damn explanation Tony, and you know it!" Steve shouted, uncaring of the spectacle they were making out there on the front lawn.
"Why? You want to know why? You just want me to bare my goddamn soul to you, tell you all my secrets so you can what? Throw it back in my face later?" Tony turned, the words tumbling out of his mouth on a snarl, his eyes snapping fire as his jaw clenched painfully. It was not a very submissive or omega-like thing to do. But Tony was done pandering to the Alphas today. He was done scraping and bowing and always, always, seeming to come up short.
A muscle in Steve's jaw flexed, his fingers tightening on his hips as he pivoted to face him.
"I just want to know why , Tony. I just want to understand. Why me? Out of everyone at school, why did you pick-"
Tony threw back his head on a mirthless laugh, his face twisted into a snarl, teeth gnashing.
"Pick you? Pick you? I didn't pick you! Howard did! You stole my future. You stole-"
Steve held up a hand "Now hold on a minute Tony, I never took a single thing-"
"God!" Tony growled, cutting Steve off as he tilted his face toward the sky as if in benediction or prayer. "The serum Steven. The serum that almost killed you but made you into what you are today. You are very fucking welcome, by the way, as half the formula for that came from me. Not Howard. Not my dad. Me."
"I don't understand…"
"Of course you don't! Howard the saint! Howard Stark the healer! What a great man Howard Stark was to give you such a precious gift. The scholarship? The serum? He scouted you. It had nothing to do with academic achievements or potential and everything to do with turning his weak omega son into something he could be proud of." Tony scoffed. "I hated you Rogers because you almost died. And darling Dad thought that I wouldn't survive. If an Alpha had just made it by the skin of his teeth, what chance did a weak Omega son have at surviving?"
Steve's face crumpled as a dawning understanding began to glow in his eyes. "Tony…"
Tony turned away, his arms folding across his chest, fingers digging in painfully to his ribs.
"Do you want me to say I'm sorry, Steve? I'm sorry I bullied you. I'm sorry I was relentless. I'm sorry I treated you like shit, like an enemy, that I tried to make you feel lesser than. I'm sorry about all of it. I was a 16 year old Omega masquerading as an Alpha. I was jacked up on so many trial drugs to hide my Omega tendencies so I wouldn't be outed and shame the Stark family name. My Dad hated me. He hated that I was smarter than him, faster than him, better. He hated that I dared to come out of the womb an Omega instead of anything else. His one shot at an heir and I dared to be born an omega. You have no idea what I went through. What I've been through. The things he did to me. And you sit here and sing his goddamn praises as if he saved your damn life. No," Tony spun, facing Steve as fury lit his face.
"I did that." He tapped his chest. "Me. Your greatest high school enemy. I cured you. Not Howard. He gave you the serum that I had developed for myself. So yes, Steven Rogers, I hated you with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I wanted to punch you in your perfect teeth. Seeing you strong and big and hearty… and it was supposed to be me. That's why I hated you. That's why."
With movements swift from anger, Tony ripped his t-shirt off his head, throwing it on the ground at Steve's feet. Hands clenched in fists at his sides he turned, giving the Alpha his back. Tony knew what Steve would see this close in the bright light of the full moon. The silvery scars that littered his back, curled around his torso. Old wounds almost completely faded, but the memories of them were still fresh. Still felt new.
"Go ahead, Alpha." Tony snarled over his shoulder, his body shaking with a mixture of barely suppressed rage.
"Lay your mark down next to my dear old Dad's. He preferred a belt, but use whatever you feel like. Do your worst. I'm just a stupid, mouthy, omega. I deserve it."
There was a moment of stunned silence that stretched long and heavy before a rush of Alpha pheromones filled the night air around them. Tony choked on the scent, his mouth watering instantly even as his knees went rubbery. The only thing keeping him upright instead of down on the ground with his face pressed into the dirt was the strength of his anger. As the seconds ticked by agonizingly slow, it became a real fight to stay standing. Finally his knees gave out under the force of his mate and Alpha's displeasure. He collapsed to one knee, back bowed against the rage that was pouring from Steve in waves. His Alpha was pissed. Tony's hand fisted in the grass, blunt fingernails digging into the earth as he gritted his teeth. Regret and fear stabbed him sharp and hot in the gut. He shouldn't have gotten mouthy with Steve. He shouldn't have pushed. He was always pushing, always had to have the last word, and it always got him into trouble. That thought sent a cramp spearing through his guts, made his breath short and his eyes prick with tears of regret and helpless anger. Tony hated that instinctive reaction. He hated that he didn't want Steve to be mad at him, to think less of him. That he was…afraid of Steve and what he might do in he wanted Steve to… to…
Hot hands clasped his bare shoulders, pulling him up gently and back into a hard chest.
" Tony," Steve's voice was a thick and guttural purr. He pulled Tony's stiff and shaking body into his arms, wrapped him in a cocoon of Alpha scent and comfort.
"I'm sorry." Steve whispered, his voice low and rough, his breath fanning gently against Tony's cheek. With gentle hands Steve turned Tony's shaking, resisting, body to face him. Tony took a shuddering breath as anger and fear transformed to something else beneath the gentle hands of his Alpha. Shame, defeat, and misery swam like some sort of toxic chemical cocktail in his chest. It bubbled up his throat and burnt the back of his tongue. Tony hated how it made him feel so small. He was so tired of -
Steve's fingers hooked gently beneath his chin and raised it, forcing Tony to meet Steve's concerned blue gaze. Steve's lips tightened as his forehead creased, his hand shifting from Tony's upturned chin to cup his jaw. Hands that had killed, that had rendered and torn, now cradled Tony's face as if he were delicate… like a butterfly with a torn wing. Something to be handled with care. No one had ever touched Tony like that before.
"I'm sorry," Steve reiterated, his voice like sunbaked gravel and his cornflower blue eyes saturated with sincerity "I'm sorry that I didn't know what you were going through. That I didn't take the time to try and figure it out. I'm sorry that you had to be brave when you should have been protected and cherished. I'm sorry that every Alpha that has come into your life has failed you. That I failed you. I'm sorry for everything that has happened between us because I didn't know. And that's on me, because I should have asked. I should have found out. I should have known what he was …." Steve's pheromones spiked again with anger, melting Tony's spine and giving him a full body shiver. Tony watched, wide eyed, as Steve worked his jaw as if he were chewing the words before he spit them out. "I'm sorry for what he put you through." Steve's thumb swiped softly across Tony's cheek, collecting the tears that Tony hadn't even realized were escaping from the corners of his eyes. "I'm sorry for what I put you through . I should have been better, kinder. I promise you that no one will ever lay hands on you again. Not me, not anyone, not ever. I'll kill them. If he was still alive I swear I'd-" Steve blew out a harsh breath.
"I'm sorry."
Notes: So...long time no type guys! This story has been on my mind since I last updated it...two years ago (wow, time flies). I had gone in, written some, and then been unable to get from point a to point b. It was a struggle for a while, and I'm still not very happy with it... but I figure it's been two years and I'm due for an update whether or not I'm pleased with the writing. It's also super long compared to what I usually post, but I didn't want to break it up into two chapters. Per usual, I apologize for any glaringly obvious grammatical errors you may find. And hey! I did a thing! I've got a tumblr now so if ya'll wanna follow me feel free! I need friends :P blog/sayahs-corner Anyway. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I can't tell you how much your reviews meant to me. I've been revisiting them and I can honestly say that they inspired me to keep trying. Time would go by and all of a sudden I'd have a new review on a story I hadn't updated in ages. You guys are the best. I'm looking forward to continuing this story with you :)