Fornax Magazine: Heath & Sexuality Department

Doctor Solus Advises: Intimate relations with the asari - What you need to know

Dear Dr. Solus,

I'm a human who has recently been reading up on asari mating rituals and reproduction procedures. With reproduction conducted via melding rather than the traditional genetic material delivery process, what kinds of issues can a human face when trying to have an intimate moment with an asari? I'm mostly interested in knowing how to prevent my asari partner from being knocked up.

Another issue that I would like an explanation on: from my research it seems that an asari can read their partner's mind while being intimate. Is there any way to prevent any kind of "unauthorized transmission" of information during a melding?

Finally, can a person contract any kind of neural sexually-transmitted disease from their asari partner? Extranet research provided some bizarre and highly controversial answers with very shaky credibility.

Signed,

Azure? I Don't Even Know Her! (But I'd Like To)

Dear 'Azure...',

Ah, relations with asari. Some personal experience with this. Alas, cannot claim expertise. Can say that my experience melding with asari was amazing, perspective-altering. Cosmic even. Impossible to fully describe with words. Also, alcohol was involved. Do recommend that all sapients try it at least once.

For more detailed knowledge, I consulted Magpie Corvidae, PhD. Her various degrees don't specifically cover the science, psychology or sociological aspects of melding with asari, she conceded. "I do consider myself an enthusiastic amateur expert, however," she noted, pointing to extensive, ongoing field research on Thessia and at various asari colonies. Has also purchased time-share apartment at Illium's Hotel Azure, spends all vacations there.

Unintentional pregnancy not an issue, Corvidae says. Asari have complete control over own reproductive process. This comes from process involving psychic connection, as opposed to physical ones used by other species. Asari only need partner for DNA-mapping purposes. Once that initiated, asari can induce pregnancy by using mapping to randomize own DNA. Requires act of clear, conscious will. "So it's not going to happen unless she intends it," Corvidae notes. "It's a much more precise exercise than the hit and miss (and frankly impractical) human way." Or the methods used by other species. This reduces overall number of asari pregnancies, but population remains stable because success rate is 100% when offspring are sought.

As for transmission of memories, Corvidae noted that there are different levels of melding. Some melds are only shallow. Involve sharing nothing more than physical sensations. This is asari method of mimicking how other species engage in intimate relations purely for physical pleasure. Human term for this is "casual sex," I'm reliably told by Alliance Navy acquaintances. Other terms used by your species include, "one-night stand," "hooking up," "shagging," and "hitting the ass effect relay." Corvidae assures this column that there would be no danger of accidentally sharing anything too deeply personal with asari partner in such a melding.

Humans have added bonus of biology being very similar to asari. Melding of minds therefore allows asari to feel, experience physical sex as human does. Melding can convey both mental and physical pleasure simultaneously to asari and her partner. Corvidae adds that anecdotal evidence, backed by own personal observations, indicates that experience "totally rocks." Puts heavy emphasis on "totally." This may explain why taking on human lovers now popular trend on Thessia and asari colonies.

In cases where deeper melding is conducted to gain more emotionally satisfying experience, Corvidae says that thoughts, memories are open to both asari and her partner but keeping them private is still possible. "All information is open to the asari during a melding but, since she's in your head, she'll instinctively know if there's particular memories/fantasies, etc. that you'd prefer she didn't pry into. So you're basically trusting her discretion. This goes both ways: the asari's partner will have just as much power over her, hence their emphasis on trust."

(Note to readers: Editor strongly suggested I eliminate wording "goes both ways" from column for reasons not entirely clear. Left it in to convey importance of understanding mutual nature of melding.)

Still possible during higher-level meldings to unintentionally transfer thoughts or memories you would rather keep private. As with physical mating, 100% control of process not always possible. Sometimes sensations overwhelm, cause lapses in willpower. Thoughts can be suddenly, accidentally transmitted. "It can be embarrassing, but most asari are understanding when it happens. More importantly, if it happens, it doesn't mean that the melding is suddenly over," Corvidae explains. She urges this column's readers to "keep practicing with your partner(s). Over time it will cease to be a problem."

Recall observation once made by asari bartender I met on Illium: "If it's all civilized, you're not doing it right." Meaning that perfect control of melding not necessarily desirable anyway. Some messiness, awkwardness adds to experience. Makes it more memorable. Deepens bonds between partners. Alcohol effective means of fast-tracking this process.

Finally, risk of communicable disease from melding: zero. For non-asari partner, at least. Species who lack ability to meld on their own have no system to be affected. Analogy: humans with appendix removed cannot get disease affecting appendix. Same principal. Asari not as fortunate. Possible for them to gain "neural itch" from melding. Condition irritating but not serious for asari. Popular over-the-counter remedy "Eterna-Gel" can soothe inflamed nerve endings, speed recovery. Worth keeping some at bedside. Or in personal medical cabinet. Just in case an intimate evening goes awry. Can attest myself that finding pharmacy that both sells Eterna-Gel and is open during early-morning hours can be... problematic.

Glad we had this talk.

Yours,

Dr. Mordin Solus

Do you have a question for Dr. Solus? Send it with 'Dear Doctor' in the subject line to Fornax Magazine assistant editor MrFredCDobbs and the good doctor may answer it in a future column!

[Author's note: Special thanks to reader XxXDEATH101XxX for suggesting today's column and to fellow writer Magpie Corvidae for sharing her extensive research.]