A/N: I am so sorry for my huge delay on this story! Life has been too stressful, with my mom's surgery, my grandmother's passing and to top it all off, I recently had a car accident. I'm a little banged up, but doing well! :) Things are slowly calming themselves down, so here I am writing again. I can't even begin to tell you all how amazing it feels and how each and every one of your comments and reviews filled with kind words and support for my writing makes me smile. I will get to working on the next chapter for this long awaited story! Things aren't over yet, you guys. I hope you enjoy! :) Happy to be back writing for all of you!
P.S. I want to thank each and every one of you for your condolences on fb and kind words. My condolences and friendship go out to those of you who have recently lost a loved one.
Regina quickly shut the door, in consideration to her son as she looked right into Daniel's eyes, tears streaming down, unable to believe the news she had just received. "Tell me, that's not true. Daniel, tell me this is a joke!" her head turned towards the door as it opened.
"What's going on, Regina? We heard you screaming." Mary Margaret asked, already with glassy eyes.
"They are here to tell me that Emma's plane crashed. But, they don't seem to have her body." replied Regina as Mary Margaret gasped, placing her hand over her mouth in shock.
Daniel looked down to the floor and back up at Regina in shame and sadness, "Not yet, no."
"Then, you can't come into my home and tell me she is dead, when you don't even have a body to give me!" Regina shouted, anger taking over her.
Mary Margaret placed a hand over the brunette's shoulder, exchanging looks at the officers before her, "We spoke to her just yesterday. She was really happy to be coming home with her family - her wife. She can't possibly be dead." tears streamed down her eyes as she said that last word.
"I'm really sorry, ma'am. I know this isn't exactly the news one expects, especially at this hour of the night." Daniel's partner spoke.
Mary Margaret held Regina in her arms as the brunette could do nothing but cry, her eyes looking over to the officers once again, Daniel's especially, "I think it'd be best if you leave now."
Daniel's partner nodded as he took his leave, walking back to the cruiser. Daniel turned back to Regina, "Regina." he spoke softly, "I'm really sorry. If there's anything I can do-"
"We'll be just fine, thank you Daniel." Mary Margaret interrupted him, glaring at him in the process, while Regina remained sobbing quietly. Daniel simply nodded and took his leave. Mary Margaret didn't mean to be hard on him. She was sure he felt bad for Emma's disappearance, because she didn't want to believe that her daughter was dead. There was no way. She knew Emma would be back - sooner or later, and until that time she felt like she needed to look after Regina and Henry now. It's what Emma would have wanted.
Regina couldn't take it any longer. Her body just gave out in sobs, Mary Margaret dropped to the floor along with her as she could do nothing but cry. The older woman being her rock, her support in the most painful and imaginable of moments in both their lives.
"Tell me this isn't true. Tell me she's fine. Tell me she's coming back!" Regina spoke almost in a plead, her tears streaming down her makeup.
"She's fine. She will be coming back" Mary Margaret nodded, holding Regina as close as possible to her embrace. Her own tears streaming down. "Emma will come back to us. She will come back." her own voice breaking with emotion. She couldn't believe that something like this would just take her daughter from her. So many years she couldn't be with her and now that they were a family - she couldn't of just be taken away from her in the blink of an eye. Life couldn't possibly be that cruel.
"Henry…" Regina lifted her head up from Mary Margaret's shoulder, quickly wiping her tears. With all the bad news that she had received like a bucket of cold water that had just been dropped on her, she had completely forgotten about Henry for a short while. "How on earth will I explain this to him? How will he come to understand that he's mother is…?" more tears streamed down sad brown eyes as she shook her head, not being able to bring herself to say the last word of that sentence.
"David has him inside. We will find a way to explain this to him. Maybe not right away, but we will have to tell him sooner or later."
It had been a long night for Regina. For everyone in the house. News got traveled fast about Emma's passing. August, Ruby, Graham, and Kathryn visited as days passed. Mary Margaret would hold her tears around Henry, just as Regina. Henry was a smart kid, so being around him was like walking around eggshells for everyone. It was tough. Especially when he asked about his other mother. The word was that his mother was still on her work trip and she wasn't coming back just yet.
Yes, it was painful. Emma's absence was too much to bare. Three nights passed and Regina laid in her bed (their bed), sobbing into her pillow - like every night since the worst news of her life. Tears streamed down her eyes as her arms snaked around Emma's pillow. Pools of tears already formed on the silk pillowcase as her body trembling from all her muffled crying. Everyone was having a hard time accepting the fact that Emma was no longer with them. But, Regina was taking it the hardest. It was hard. She wouldn't see her wife again. She wouldn't have the privilege to touch her again, to kiss her, love her. Simply seeing her smile wouldn't be possible anymore. Playing together with their son.
There was a faint knock just outside her door, faint but enough for her to still shift her eyes towards the knocking, wiping at her tears quickly. "Come in." Regina's voice was soft and shaky.
As the door slowly opened, a faint gasp was heard coming from Regina as she quickly sat up and ran towards the person standing before the door frame, "Jefferson!" a soft grunt was heard from her younger brother as he securely wrapped his arms around her form. Uncontrollable sobs were heard coming from Regina as soon as she felt her brother's arms wrap around her. Jefferson's eyes closed as he felt, taking in Regina's agonizing pain.
News traveled so fast, even Jefferson heard of Emma's misfortune that he quickly took the first flight out to be with her. This was a big change for him, it still surprised him how much he quickly changed compared to how he used to be. Before, he really couldn't care that Regina was in a loveless marriage with Emma. But now - he cared. He truly loved and cared for her. He was a better man thanks to the love and guidance of a wonderful woman that would soon be his wife.
"I came as soon as I could. As soon as I heard." Jefferson said in a mere whisper as he wiped away her tears that were still making their way down her beautiful but sad face. His smile was supportive but a sad one. He never truly had a chance to get to know Emma, but he always liked her. "I'm so sorry, Regina."
"Emma is not dead. She's not." Regina quickly shook her head in protest to the idea of her wife's passing, "She can't be."
"Let's sit." He motioned towards her bed, as he joined her, sitting right beside her. His hand quickly finding its place on top of hers. He remained silent, his thumb wiping away at another tear.
"David, August and Graham are on the search for her. I've been talking to the police, they keep telling me if her body could turn up it would be somewhere at sea." her eyes finally looked up into Jefferson's, "You've been at sea, Jefferson. You know it well."
Jefferson knew what Regina was asking. She didn't even have to word it.
"Regina-"
"Please, Jefferson! I've never asked you for anything. In my whole life. Please, do this for me. For Emma. I know you were always a jerk when it came to her, but deep down - you liked her."
A chuckle escaped Jefferson, followed by a deep draw of breath as he exhaled slowly, "I did." he nodded, "I liked her from the start. Emma was good for you. That day I arrived here and blackmailed you to give me the money to run off, Emma didn't like it, but she helped me for your sake. To keep you happy and at peace." a small smile formed on his lips as his hand tapped gently on her own, "I know now what it's like to truly love someone. To look into the eyes of the person that loves you and you can just see it." he paused momentarily, "I saw it in Emma's eyes. Like I saw it in yours."
Regina broke into another sob. Jefferson quickly pulled his sister into a warm and loving embrace. She could never remember him being affectionate, much less supportive as he was being now, but she was quick to accept his embrace. Her head resting on his shoulder as her arms wrapped around his form. Her hands balled into tight fists on Jefferson's uniform.
"Jefferson… are you- are you crying?"
It was even more surprising to Regina seeing actual (first time) tears streaming down Jefferson's eyes.
He quickly wiped his tears with his thumb, chuckling as he spoke, "Whoever knew I had a heart, right? Mother would be extremely surprised." he leaned into Regina's gentle touch as she cupped his cheek.
"You have a heart, Jefferson. If you didn't, you wouldn't of allowed Mia to change you into the man you are today." replied Regina as a tear of her own fell from the corner of her eye. "Enjoy every moment you can with her. You never know when it might be the last."
They embraced each other in another tight hug. Regina sobbing softly as she couldn't help but miss Emma even more in that very moment. But, she couldn't lose hope. She couldn't come to accept that her wife was simply gone.
Lily pounded on Robert's door, time and time again. Tears making their way down her red puffy eyes. She did not wait for the man to open the door. She had already welcomed herself inside as Robert made his way into the tiny living room area as he was welcomed with a hard slap across the face.
"You lied to me!" she pointed a finger towards Robert's chest, "You always wanted her dead, didn't you?" she shoved him once, "It was you!" twice, "You killed Emma!"
Robert had a smirk on his face that Lily wanted to keep slapping right off. "Come in. Make yourself comfortable." he sat down on the only couch he owned, "I'm sorry to hear about your dear Emma's tragic demise."
"You aren't sorry." she scoffed, "How could you do that to her, Robert? Why?" she paused for a minute as tears never stopped making their way down her sad, pool filled eyes. "She was your family! How can you have the heart to kill your own niece?!"
"You know nothing! Nothing!" he lifted a finger up in warning as he stood up from the couch. Face red with anger.
"I know enough! It was Emma who always remained clueless to the truth!"
Robert couldn't help but chuckle, "Yes. As it turns out, you weren't any better than her wife after all, were you?"
In coming was another hard given slap, but Robert was quick to catch Lily's hand, tightening his grip around her slim wrist before her hand made impact with his face for a second time.
Robert had kept that family secret well hidden from anyone. Including Emma. She never knew the truth that kept staring her in the face for years. But, now he wasn't afraid to uncover it. It didn't benefit him in any way - he wasn't going to gain her billions just because he was family. By right, all of Emma's financials and properties belong to Regina and Henry. No, it wasn't about money. It was more for his simple sick pleasure of finally watching her fall and lose everything in a matter of seconds since her private plane had been tampered with.
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months of no luck in finding a body to claim that would be Emma's. No matter the time that passed, no one wanted to give up hope. The search wouldn't come to and end. Even Jefferson united with them and Mia agreed to help along the way - without any luck whatsoever. Jefferson would go out of his way out at sea on his given orders to search for Emma. August, Graham, David, Ruby and Regina would pass out a printed missing persons bulletin around the city, in hopes that someone had seen her.
Samantha even managed to convince Daniel to help them look. He was doing very well in the force and could pull a few strings to call other police stations, having made friends in high places. Regina didn't feel at all comfortable asking him to that for her, but he didn't hesitate to help. With Sam's condition worsening - he couldn't possibly say no after all.
Nothing.
No Emma.
As more months passed by, Henry was now growing inpatient and fussy that his other mother was still away at another 'business trip.' It was becoming harder and harder on Regina to have to lie to him about the truth. She had to tell him. She just needed to figure out a way that was gentle enough for him to understand about death. But, how could you possibly ever make that topic gentle?
After putting her son to bed, she made her way into her own bedroom as she changed into a pair of her silk pajamas and made her way into that cold, empty queen sized bed. Pools of tears forming around her eyes as her head soon hit the pillow. It had become a habit now to snake her arms around Emma's pillow and hug it close to her chest as she muffled her sobs. Her brain couldn't help to draw pictures for her in that moment of all the endless fights they shared in this very room. Like the time she waltzed her way in here, angry at Emma for having witnessed how Lily placed a kiss on her lips. Or when Emma nearly died after getting shot. How weak and still beautiful she looked. Even though that happened in what used to be Regina's bedroom, she remembered it very well. How she began to fall in love with her day by day, after swearing to herself that she would never come to love someone who had hurt her.
Now, she needed her to breathe. She craved her touch. Her kisses. She'd give anything to hear her 'I love you's' once more. She sobbed harder as her mind painted a vivid picture of their many passionate nights they shared in this very bed. The look on Emma's face when she would reach her climax from the many pleasures she was given. The look in her eyes everytime Regina would catch her staring. Her green eyes glowing with every ounce of love she could possibly display.
If it wasn't because they had Henry, Regina probably would have already considered killing herself just so she could be reunited with Emma. Living like this was no life at all for her. She needed for her to come back. They had a son, damn it. She had to come back. She had to.
You are a hell of a woman, Regina. The strongest I've ever come to know. You got this. That's what Emma's voice in Regina's head was telling her now. The brunette could clearly hear it sounding inside her brain cells, burning their way in like a brand.
"Mama?" her head lifted up as she heard a faint little voice call out to her as the sound of her bedroom door was heard as it opened. "You sad." standing at the foot of her bed was Henry, his little voice demanding to know why he had been sensing his mother's sadness for months.
Regina smiled as brightly as she could at her son as she lifted him up onto the bed, "Nothing to worry about, my darling. Mommy's just a little sad. That's all."
"I miss mommy too." Henry's eyes were in tears before her, looking exactly like Regina's, it tore her heart in two. It was then, Regina knew it was time to tell him. She couldn't fool him or lie any longer.
She took a deep breath as she softly spoke, her hand brushing against the boy's soft head of hair, "Sweetheart…" she paused. This was really hard. "Mommy…" tears made their way down her own brown eyes as her voice broke. "She's… she's gone, Henry. Do you understand? Mommy won't be coming home."
"Why?" the boy's eyes released their tears now as he just threw himself onto his mother in the tightest hug he had ever given her. "I want mommy home!" he sobbed into her hair as it muffled his crying. "I want mommy!"
Regina hugged him so tight, she couldn't let go. Her chin rested on his little head as she cried silently. Hearing her son break broke her soul. She knew, Henry understood what had been going on. Her hand rested on the back of his head, "I know, my love. I want her home too." her voice broke. "And, we will find her." She looked at Henry as she quickly wiped away his tears, smiling a sad smile at him. She couldn't give up hope now. Now more than ever she needed to cling to that. "I promise you, we will find her. Mommy's just… a little lost."
"I help too?" the boy asked in a sad tone, pouty lip.
"Yes, of course you can."
Henry clinged to her once again, like a baby koala refusing to release its mother as Regina held him in her arms just the same. They remained clinged to each other for a good hour until Henry's eyes were exhausted with sleep. Regina didn't have the heart to take him into his own bed that night - she laid him in Emma's side of the bed as he cuddled up to her side as soon as she settled into her side once again. Her hand softly brushing the boy's hair as she stared at him until her own eyes gave out in exhaustion.
This was not going to be an easy journey without Emma. Nor for Henry without his other mother. And, Regina had to prepare herself for that. In case Emma never appeared, she needed to be ready. But, she wasn't willing to accept it just yet. Not yet.
Regina stood in front of her mirror, placing her earing on her ear as she gave herself a look over once again as her black dress fell perfectly to her figure.
You take my very breath away. She could clearly hear Emma say inside her head once more as through the mirror she could clearly see how she would be standing behind her right now if she were here. Wrapping her arms around her waist as she placed kiss after gentle kiss up her bare shoulder, as her lips traveled up to her neck.
As hard as she tried not to cry on this big, important day for Daniel and Sam - it was inevitable. She quickly wiped at her tears as she heard a knock at the door.
"Come in." her voice soft as she composed herself.
Mary Margaret made her way inside the room as she smiled at the sight of Regina in her black dress. "You look amazing, Regina."
Regina smiled as she eyed Mary Margaret's own white gown, "As do you. You chose the perfect dress."
"Emma chose it for me." her smile disappearing, as was Regina's at the mention of Emma's name. Both women remained quiet, until Mary Margaret made her way towards Regina and embraced her in a hug, tears making their way down.
Regina quickly parted from her embrace, as she shook her head, "I can't keep doing this." she wiped at her tears, "I can't ruin this day for Daniel. It's too important to him."
"You're in mourning, Regina. I'm sure that's more than understandable." Mary wipes away her own tears, "Why don't we just stay home?" she suggests, which Regina is quick to protest against.
"No." she shakes her head, "No. I can do this." she nods, her eyes connecting to Mary Margaret's as she gives her a reassuring smile. "I can. It's what Emma would have encouraged me to do. Besides… it will do us good to get out of the house for a while. Henry's been very excited about this whole wedding, you could swear he was the one getting married."
Both exchanged a small laugh that felt pretty good to share after endless months of crying their eyes out.
"Well, then. Let's not keep him waiting." replied Mary Margaret as they made their way out of the bedroom and down the set of stairs, arms linked together. Both smiling at the sight of David with Henry in matching tuxes. With Samantha being the only child and Daniel not having a family, they had asked Regina a while back if she would mind allowing Henry to be their ring bearer for this day - which Henry was more than happy to say yes to.
"Look mama! I do it myself!" Henry beamed, feeling pretty proud of himself as he had clipped on his little bow tie without any assistance.
Regina couldn't help but smile as she bent down to be at her son's level, fixing up his bow tie which was not straight enough, "I can see that. You will be the best looking in that wedding."
"Oh, thank you. I don't particularly like to wear fancy clothing, but I have to agree, I do look good." David joked, as Regina raised an eyebrow at him and Mary Margaret scoffed at him.
Henry being the only one giggling at the man's joke, "Gwampa, you silly!"
The room froze as eyes fell on Henry, and David stood like a statue with wide eyes in surprise at the word the boy had used to refer to him. That was the first time ever he had called him grandpa. But, as Regina already knew - Henry was a smart one and as a kid he saw and heard everything. Given that his and Mary Margaret's relationship was blossoming day by day, month by month and year by year, why not? He didn't mind at all being given that title. He'd wear it proudly.
He pinched the bridge of his nose as his eyes shut tight, preventing from tears to come down. He too like everyone had cried so much after Emma's fate. He didn't want to cry now because he was being more and more welcomed into the family. Although, he did appreciate that they were finally having a small good moment in their lives.
He cleared his throat, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, "We should get going. We don't want to be late." he scooped up Henry in his arms as he held the door opened for Regina and Mary Margaret, "Come on, little man. You have the most important job today."
The door shut behind them as they made their way out and into the SUV, quickly driving their way to the most awaited wedding.
With Sam's health deteriorating, even if she was at her weakest part in her illness, Daniel came to the decision of wanting her to have the wedding of her dreams. She truly wanted it, even when they had agreed to get married in a flash with Regina and Emma as witnesses back when she was diagnosed with her illness. Daniel was more than happy to make that happen for her. For them.
The wedding was a beautiful ceremony. Despite Samantha being in a pale state, she looked absolutely beautiful walking down that aisle towards her husband. Daniel was smiling inside and out. His heart fluttering in that very moment. It was truly the best day of his life. Their lives.
Regina's smile was sad as she watched the bride and groom exchange their vows. Her smile grew wide once Henry had handed each one of them their rings. He looked absolutely handsome while he performed his duty as ring bearer. She couldn't help to think of Emma in that very moment. How happy she would be right now if she'd be witnessing this herself. It was crazy for her to see a little bit of Emma in Henry. Coincidental or not - they shared the same chin, same dimples on their cheeks. Even in the way he sometimes smiled.
It was crazy, indeed.
As they shared their kiss as husband and wife before the church and all their guests, the applause was heard echoing all around the room.
Right after, at the dinner - all was filled with happiness. Samantha still seemed weak, but not weak enough to enjoy that day to the fullest. The father and daughter dance was simply beautiful. Her dress long and dragging across the floor. Truly looking like a princess from a fairytale. Sam's father couldn't help but shed a few tears, not only because his only daughter was now married to the man she loved - but, because it was only a matter of time until she was no longer with them. He shook that thought away, smiling lovingly at his daughter - as today wasn't the time to think of the inevitable.
The dance between bride and groom was just as beautiful as Ed Sheeran played loudly through the speakers as they shared their first dance. It was slower than normal, as Daniel held on to Sam tightly so she wouldn't have a chance to feel completely and more exhausted that she would collapse on the tile floor.
"You are truly the most beautiful one here." Daniel said, softly.
"I have to be. I'm the bride." Sam joked as Daniel lightly chuckled. Her arms gracefully wrapped around his neck as her forearms rested on his shoulders.
"Thank you." said Daniel.
"For what?"
"For making me the happiest man in the world."
They smiled as they shared a loving and passionate kiss, continuing their dance as man and wife.
Tears made their way down Regina's pool filled eyes. Not because of Daniel, but because of Emma. She missed her ever so terribly. She couldn't help to think in that very moment, as she watched the newly married couple share their dance, smiling down on each other and gaze on each other with looks so full of love it could make anyone sick to their stomach or miss the ones they loved.
It made her heart ache. Emma was supposed to be here, sitting beside her. Holding her hand as their thumbs lightly brushed against each other's skins. Smiling and gazing upon each other's eyes with a love so strong it was envious to the world. That's what their love was. Is. A feeling so pure and real that it was once envious.
It was then, the applause was heard as the song came to an end. As bride and groom took their seats at the head table of the ballroom, Regina glanced down as she felt a hand grasp her own. A smiling Henry looking up at her, with hopeful eyes.
"Dance, mama!" the four year old demanded. A demand and plea so felt, Regina couldn't possibly say no. She stood up, lifting her son up in her arms as she carried him across the dance floor, which was already full of people dancing around them.
Regina began swaying Henry in her arms, a hand on the boy's back as his chubby arms wrapped around her like a monkey.
"I wuv you, mama." Her tears were immediate at the sound of her son's tiny voice as her arms held on tighter to his tiny form. His little suit jacket wrinkling beneath her arms.
"I love you, my darling." Regina whispered in his ear as she placed a long sticky kiss to his chubby cheek. Leaving a trail of red marked lips on his face. She couldn't help but smile as Henry squirmed in her arms, breaking into a fit of giggles.
"Henry. Do I get the pleasure of a dance with you?" Sam asked, her smile soft as his little arms reached for her after he looked over for his mother's approval.
Daniel stood before her now, his tux crisp and clean as it should be. "May I?" he held out his hand, offering the brunette a dance.
Regina was hesitant but took his hand as he gently pulled her in for a dance. His other hand placed delicately on her hip as he took the lead. Regina couldn't help to look into the man's eyes. They were different. Happier. She was certainly happy for him, but couldn't help to think of Emma. Her mind pictured her sitting at their table, watching him like a hawk as Daniel now shared a dance with her wife. Still not trusting him (probably never fully trusting him) but, playing nice and fully trusting Regina. The smallest of smiles formed on her lips without her being aware of it as she shook her head to the silly thought.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Regina shook her thoughts, awakening from them as she didn't realize she had remained lost in a daze. Her eyes meeting Daniel's once more as she allowed him to lead her more into their dance. It was a slow one. One which Regina would much rather be sharing with her wife in this moment. But, the painful reminder of her absence was always there.
"I was just thinking how happy you look." she forced a smile, "You deserve it."
Daniel's eyes never parted from Regina's as he spoke, his voice soft, "How long have we've known each other, Regina? We may have taken different paths in our lives, but I still know you. You can talk to me." he paused for a minute before continuing, "It's Emma, isn't it?"
Regina's eyes burned as tears formed, her eyes turning glassy. "If you're going to tell me the same as August, Graham and Kathryn about giving up on her-"
"No." his voice was too calmly as he spoke before her, sincerity oozing from his eyes, "I can perfectly understand what you're going through."
"How's that?"
Daniel slowly spinned Regina out as he brought her back into his embrace, locking their eyes once again. His voice not breaking his tone of softness, "It's been a great day for Sam today. But, she has her bad days. Her sickness is only getting worse." Regina's eyes teared up more at the thought no one ever wanted to think about that was soon to be near. She really did like Samantha. They had managed to become good friends over the years they've come to know each other. "And, that's exactly the look I had when I lost the person I've loved most in this world."
Regina tried pulling back, wanting to finish their dance, but Daniel held on, "Don't. Please." he spoke again, "I love her. I honestly never thought I could find someone to love again after I lost you - but, I did. And, I'm going to respect her until…" he stopped himself from finishing that last sentence. He couldn't voice it. It was too hard. He sighed.
"Don't think about that now. Not today." Regina spoke in the same soft tone as his. "Take it from someone who knows first hand, Daniel… enjoy every minute of every day you have with her. Because once you lose that… nothing will make the pain go away."
"I know you're going to find this hard to believe, but… I miss her too sometimes."
And, it was hard to believe. Regina's brow raised up in disbelief and surprise all at once that Daniel would ever really miss Emma now that she was gone.
A chuckle escaped him, knowing the brunette's expression all too well. "Hard to believe. I know. I don't believe it myself sometimes. I mean who would miss their arch enemy?" A light laugh escaped him, "It wasn't easy to lie to her when I did. I wanted to tell her about us so many times, but you know what? The love she had for you always made me stop. Emma wasn't a bad person. I liked her when she wasn't stealing you away from me."
They both shared a laugh at his joke. This was a side of him Regina missed seeing.
"She does bring out the best in you." Regina couldn't help to comment. "I missed seeing this side of you. Seeing you smile."
"Will the day come again when I see your smile?" Daniel asked. Their dance stopping as the song ended, but he remained close to her.
Regina was at a loss for words. Even she didn't know the answer to that question herself. She smiled for one person only and that was Henry. But, behind closed doors and once her son was tucked in bed, peacefully dreaming… she was a mess. That was her life now. It angered her, but it also made her hang on to hope in seeing Emma alive and well. She had to be alive! Her mind screamed it every time she wanted to just give up.
Her eyes exhausted from all her daily crying, that if it wasn't for the magic of make up she wore tonight - the black circles from underneath her eyes of lack of sleep would be very noticable. But, if there was anything Regina was always good at; it was to keep up appearances. Fake a smile. Keep her composure. She learned that the hard way when her and Emma were always down each other's throats in the past. Having to be around Lily when she couldn't simply tolerate the woman was another lesson learned. Whom frankly she hadn't heard of anymore in what felt like a long time, and she was glad. With Emma's death as a constant reminder that she might never get her wife back, she didn't need to deal with someone she simply didn't like - yet again.
"Mama!" Regina smiled at a very energetic Henry as he ran towards her. Scooping her son up as she smiled at him. "I danced!"
Daniel smiled as he quietly walked away, making his way towards his beautiful bride. Allowing Regina to have a moment alone with her son.
"I saw, my darling. You were wonderful!"
"I wish mommy was here…" the boy's joyful expression soon fell as did Regina's as she automatically pulled him into a tight hug.
"Me too, Henry." The brunette's brows furrowed in pain and sadness as she held back the tears, not wanting to cry in front of Henry for what felt like would be the hundredth time. And, just like that she smiled as she looked at her son once again, "I'll tell you what, when we get home tonight. I have a surprise that I want you to keep with you always."
As they returned to their assigned table, Mary Margaret was quick to lean into Regina, whispering in her ear over the loud music.
"Are you alright?"
Regina nodded with a warm smile, "I'm fine." she was quick to notice the older woman's discomfort. "What's on your mind?"
There was a lot on the older woman's mind. But, right now wasn't the best time to discuss it. She would wait for later tonight. No matter how late it was.
It was rather late by the time they arrived home. It was clear to Regina something was bothering Mary Margaret, but she had her son to attend to and tuck in before speaking with her.
She quickly changed into her silk pajamas, retrieving a picture she had developed a few days ago from the drawer on her nightstand as she headed into her son's bedroom. She smiled warmly at Henry as the boy sat up in his bed, gripping on to the plush giraffe Emma had bought him. Regina made sure to inform him of his mom's gift, and it was his most favorite one.
"I get surprise now?" his smile was instant as his mother sat next to him in bed.
"Of course. I told you, you would." she handed him the picture she had developed, Henry clutching it with his small fingers as his eyes focused instantly on the photo before him.
His eyes and smile instantly grew, "It's me and mommy!" he looked over at Regina, quickly looking back at the picture before him. His giraffe now in between the sheets.
"Mommy and I." Regina corrected, her smile immediate at watching her son smiling and happy. "Do you know why I'm giving this to you?" she continued as Henry shook his head, "I'm giving this picture to you to keep with you forever. Wherever you go. Have it with you." she smiled as Henry nodded in agreement. Paying close attention to every word his mother said.
"You are still too young to understand this right now, but as you grow older you will forget a lot of things you know of now." she paused, hating the thought of Henry forgetting about Emma. She would make sure that never happened. "I want you to always, always remember your mom. Hold on to every memory you have of her with you, yeah? Don't ever allow yourself to forget her, Henry." her eyes looked down at the photograph that remained clutched in Henry's hands, pools of tears quickly forming, "I want you to always remember how much she loves you."
Her voice broke as she said that last sentence to Henry. She didn't and couldn't dare using the word love in past tense. It pained her way too much to even accept that Emma could really be dead.
Henry was smart to take quick notice in his mother's sadness. She couldn't help her tears from coming down as she felt her son's tiny hand cup her cheek, as their eyes met in a sad, empty gaze.
"Mommy come back soon?" his small voice asked, filled with sadness from missing his mother. Regina quickly wrapped her arms around his tiny form, seeking comfort herself. Her brows furrowed as she held in her pain, trying not to break down in front of her son.
"Of course, sweetheart. Mommy would never, ever forget you. Ever."
It was painful enough to have her mind wonder about Emma's whereabouts, feeling her absence, the ache of not having her physically. But, Henry's tears as he clinged to her own body hurt her way more than anything else. She did dream what it would be like to be a mother when she was with Daniel, but never once did she imagine being one. Of course, once Emma came into the picture, she could imagine it every single day. And, now that she was a mother - she'd give anything to keep her son safe from this pain. She would rather feel that pain and sting of loneliness of not having her wife with them more than she already has been if it meant Henry would be safe from it.
She wiped away his tears as she gave him a sad smile, "Come on, lay down. I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."
Henry immediately did as he was told, closing his eyes as Regina placed the most gentle of kisses to his forehead, lying right next to him while she softly ran her fingers through his hair.
It didn't take Henry long to fall into a peaceful sleep. Mary Margaret's room was right across from his, and as soon as Regina exited his bedroom, shutting the door quietly. She stood before Mary Margaret's, knocking softly on her door. As she heard a soft "come in" from the older woman.
"Henry's passed out. He loved the picture with Emma." she smiled as Mary Margaret did.
"That is a wonderful picture of them together."
"Yes." her brows furrowed as she noticed Mary Margaret's seriousness. "Something's been on your mind all night, hasn't it?" she took a seat next to her on the bed. "Tell me. What's wrong? Apart from missing Emma."
"Emma." the older woman's voice was softer than a whisper, she wondered if Regina had heard her. Her eyes burned from the tears that were already forming around them.
Regina placed her hand over Mary Margaret's as more tears made their way down her own brown eyes, "She has to come home. She has to be… out there… somewhere."
"I hope that she is alive and comes home."
"Are you doubting she may be alive as well? Just like Graham, August and Kathryn do." there was hurt and anger in the brunette's voice now.
Mary Margaret shook her head, answering without hesitance, "No, Regina. I will never stop doubting, wishing, or having faith that Emma is alive." she gave the brunette's hand a gentle squeeze as her eyes locked onto Regina's as Regina broke down crying, "Emma is alive. You have to keep believing that. You can't give up!"
"I haven't given up. I've been doing all I can, making every call to find her. But, while she's… out there, what am I supposed to do with all this heartache?" her voice broke once again.
There was silence. But, Regina could tell there was something in the way Mary Margaret was staring at her. Something - a wonder had been eating at her all night. That's when she finally spoke…
"You're going to hate me for thinking this. But, I have to know…" she inhaled sharply, "You wouldn't allow him back into your life… would you?"
Regina's brows furrowed once again, "Whoever do you mean?"
Mary Margaret's eyes never left Regina's, staying silent in a way that she immediately understood who the older woman was talking about.
Regina scoffed and stood from the bed, her features displaying her anger at the crazy thought that had been running through Mary Margaret's mind, "That's what you've been thinking about? He's married. Whatever Daniel and I had is in the past."
"He's married to a woman that on any given day won't wake up from her sleep." Regina remained quiet. She had never seen her upset, but she was. "I don't mean to offend you, I know you love Emma. You were true to my daughter, even in the worst times. That to me meant the world, Regina. But, as a mother and someone who has lived in this world longer than you and Emma combined - I see things."
"So, you're saying that Daniel still cares?" Regina asked bluntly.
"Daniel still loves you. You can see it in his eyes, Regina. Worst part is he doesn't hide it - not even from his wife." her voice carried out with pain as it broke, "And, if Emma does not come back… I'm afraid of him wanting to reconnect with all those old feelings once Sam parts from this world. I pray that wherever my daughter is - because she is out there. She comes back soon."
"Mary Margaret." Regina sat back down on the edge of the bed, taking the older woman's hands into her own, "I would love nothing more than to have Emma walk through that door. I wish for it every night. And, no matter what happens, I won't stop." she paused for a brief moment, trying to put her words together. "Daniel is a good man. I know that soon he too will lose the woman he loves now. When that day happens, I want to be there for him. I owe him that much. I know Emma would have wanted us to be there for him."
"Then, we will be." Mary Margaret spoke softly, "I just want you to be careful around him, Regina. I have no doubt that Daniel is a good man. I've been a witness to it myself. And, I hope to God I am wrong and that even after Sam's death, he keeps his distance with you."
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