HIS CHOICE
chapter 2
"Max! Sometimes I don't believe I know you" Georg fumed.
He and Max exchanged a long set of painful, unblinking looks while a frightening silence filled the air quickly. Soon the realization that remaining frozen wouldn't have helped climbed into Maria's mind, so she stepped forward, trusting that the right words would have come once she had reached her husband.
But Liesl promptly walked her ahead, stopping her to hand yet another letter to her father.
Georg slid it under the others between his hands and this was the last action the three of them saw him doing before he could drop the painful eye contact and shut himself into the studio.
It was suddenly dawning on her how foolish she had been to believe he agreed on the children singing in public. He had changed, very much, but perhaps this was a too big of a step for him to take yet.
"Maria, he's got to at least pretend to work with these people, you must convince him" the man pulled her from her thoughts, approaching her with such a look, aware of the power she had on him
"Max, I can't ask him to be less than he is" she replied sincerely, following the line she had traced in her mind seconds before
"Then I'll talk to him. If the children don't sing at the festival, it will be a reflection on Austria. I know, it won't do me any good either".
She forced a soft chuckle on her face at his words, yet aware that the talk wouldn't have helped much. Georg needed his own space, but he also needed a friend; hadn't Max been so involved into the festival business things would have been so much easier.
But she couldn't take that away from them.
She simply had to let the man follow his friend, to let him be. Hoping for the better.
The door Georg had closed behind his back was ajar, so he didn't bother to knock before entering the studio. Georg was sitting at his desk, his look lost in an appearent and tormenting void, the mail disorderly thrown over the smooth surface and that dreadful Nazi flag draped on the armchair, still crumpled.
"I didn't mean what I said about the Anschluss earlier …" Max opened, yet not gaining his attention, "… but I was serious about the children"
"Max!" Georg's voice burst as he turned to his friend, eyes ripped open
"Georg, I can't see why! As I said, they'll be the talk of the festival"
"I won't have my children under the public eye" he struggled to remain reasonably calm, getting up and pacing around the studio through solemn steps
"Why not? The jury already adores them" Max kept pushing, touching another inappropriate spot
"I don't care about the jury!" his voice rose angrier, "I care about their safety. And putting them under the spotlight in front of all those people will not make them safe"
"Georg, it sounds like a lot to ask but pretending to work with them is our only alternative"
"No Max. One either goes on their side, succumbing, or confronts them directly. There's no way in between. And I despise these people with all that I am" a withering gaze shoot through Max
"I hate them as much as you do, Georg. It wasn't pleasant for me either to see those Nazi marching in and out of the theatre every day" he replied sincerely, hoping this would make his position clearer
"Then why did you?"
"Because it matters to the children. And as their father, you should know it far better than me" he concluded.
Perhaps making a mistake, he didn't manage to stop the words out of his mouth and when he saw Georg turning to the opposite side towards the window, the hint of an answer nowhere near, he knew that conversation was over. And so with a heavy heart Max left the studio and wondered around the house vaguely, looking for a something that not even he knew what it could be.
Georg, on the other hand, was even more devastated.
What am I doing?
He sighed sadly, the awareness of what was happening still blurred but close and real as ever. Throughout his entire lifetime he had been facing many struggles and so many losses – Agathe's, his mother's and then his beloved father's too – but none of them came close to what he was risking to lose now.
The world he used to know had disappeared but if he kept up that rude, selfish behaviour, it was only a matter of time before he could hurt and push away all the precious people he loved. Then his own world would be gone forever. It couldn't find it within himself a single way to survive without them.
"I'm sorry, Max" he whispered weakly, thinking back to the last words his friend had told him.
He was right in a certain sense, but he couldn't risk his family that way. He just couldn't.
Almost without thinking, he walked back where he was sitting and recollected one letter from the desk. When his eyes fell on the words, just three of them were enough to sink his heart into deep shock:
Admiral Von Schreiber
"Christ!" he slammed his hand on the hard surface of the desk, the other crumpled into a tight fist at his side, squeezing the envelope almost as if wanting to destroy it.
Maria.
The angelical name flashed into his mind. It was too clouded, too confused to think straight.
If there was someone that could have awakened in him the slightest bit of reason, that was Maria. His Maria.
His steps exited the studio and followed at a quick pace the sound of her and his daughter's giggles. For some reason it seemed to take an oddly soothing effect on him, and he felt hugely thankful when it shook some of the worry off his face.
"Liesl" the familiar statuary voice cut the intimate silence she and his daughter were sharing.
One second Maria was smiling and the next one the worried frown she had in her brows just minutes before in the hall was crossing her face once more.
She stood up and made her way through the sitting room, stopping right under the door arch in front of her husband. He had managed to maintain his most uninvolved look in front of Liesl, reassuring her, but with his wife, he knew, he could drop every mask. And just a glance to his low eyes and bowed-down head were enough for her to read the lost, devastated expression that crossed his worried face.
"Georg …" she spoke his name warmly, softly, hoping this would soothe him as it had done so many times in the past few months
"No, Maria, don't say anything" he shushed her, still finding it hard to meet her gaze "I know. And I apologize"
"Look at me" she tucked her index under his chin and gently brought him to face her, "you have nothing to apologize about"
"Oh I do, I do. I shouldn't have behaved so badly with him, I've been unfair to you all …" he breathed, "if the children sing, perhaps it will-"
"No, darling" Maria stopped him, "you know how happy it would make me if the children would sing. But it's not just about me or their happiness, it's about our family's. And we cannot do it with you being unhappy. You are doing this for us, I understand" she never broke the intense eye contact she had created.
She understood.
How much he loved that woman was unthinkable to put into words.
Even in a moment like this one, in something she cared so deeply about, she stopped to speak for the children and decided to put her happiness a step backwords his choice. Months ago, she wouldn't have given him the slightest chance to stick to his decision, she would have made up his mind without second thoughts.
But this time was different.
She was right, of course, but he was too. And in front of her lack of experience into this, it was right to leave the last word to him.
This was meant to be his choice.
"Bless you …" he whispered softly, staring with deep gratefulness into her just-as-deep blue eyes before breathing again, "… when I saw that flag displayed out the door, it was so disgusting I just- … I could no longer think straight" he forced his eyes down again, his stomach twisting as his mind went back to the moment
"Was that what you were hiding from the children?" she then asked, gaining his attention back to her as he nodded in a confirm
"How did you know?"
"The look on your face. It's unmistakable" finally the smallest hint of a grin curved his lips at her words, for as bitter as it was
"The children must have certainly seen it from the day it was put there but- some part of me thought that taking it out of their sight could have … protected them" his breath became heavy again as he looked down at the paper in his hands
"What is it?" she demanded, sure that what he was holding so weakly was the letter Liesl had handed him earlier
"Berlin. They've offered me a commission in their navy, I've been requested to accept immediately and report to their naval base in Bremerhaven. Tomorrow"
"I knew something like this would happen. I didn't think it would be so soon"
"If I refuse it would be fatal for all of us, joining them would be unthinkable" a disgusted expression crossed his face as he spoke out loud his thoughts.
A few seconds passed by, in utter silence. Whether it was because her words would come out choked or because she didn't want to break the flow of his thoughts, Maria stood in front of him wordlessly until his gaze lifted, meeting hers once again.
He was devastated, but she was too. Her eyes lacked their usual sparkle, all he could read was worry, her lips slightly opened, fearing that otherwise air wouldn't have made it to her lungs.
She stood there, bleakness between her frowned brows, trying to be strong for him yet unable to hide her longing for someone to soothe her unprepared, innocent soul.
If there was one thing that he knew for sure, it was that she needed him as much as he needed her.
He extended his arm, anchoring his fingers at the nape of her neck to pull her close and soothe a loving kiss to her cheek.
I am here, it was meant to say.
His hand then descended on her shoulder, holding it gently but firmly.
I won't leave you, it tenderly conveyed.
And suddenly, as soon as her slender arm wrapped his lower back, everything became clear. Being strong for her had somehow made his mind work again and he was able to devise a plan in half a second.
"Get the children all together, don't say anything that's going to make them worry, just get them ready. We've got to get out of Austria and this house. Tonight".
Thinking of those words had made him proud, proud of being able to think straight, but pronouncing them was more painful than he could have ever imagined.
It was making the plan more real, and that reality was hard to accept.
But it couldn't have been any other way. The Villa meant so much to him.
He hadn't spent much time there, that was true, but perhaps the lack of time itself had made it so special: it had been the first place of his own when he and Agathe moved together, whenever he was away on the ship, he knew there was someone at home waiting for him; those walls had seen his children growing.
And this was just for the first part of his life.
The Villa was the place where he and Maria met, where their love had blossomed out of their fights, where he hoped to grow a family of their own.
But now all of this was vanishing. Months of hard work and efforts from everyone to help him find himself again and now within hours most of his dreams were taken away from him. Again.
He didn't dare to speak these thoughts out, not because he was ashamed of revealing them but because he was certain Maria was feeling the exact same way. He could read it into her eyes and if remaining silent meant to spare her that pain, he would have kept his mouth closed as long as needed.
This was one of the frequent times in their relationship when words were of no use, actions mattered the most. And, sharing a mutual need, they entangled themselves into a tighter embrace, leaning their foreheads together, reassuringly.
Simple, uncomplicated gestures conveying the deepest of meanings: even if the earth was cracking under their feet, they were there, together, and nothing would have ever changed that.
Maria hopped up the stairs and peeked into the newly cleaned nursery finding out that all the seven children were unexpectedly there. She was prepared to either find them still on the terrace or else to chase them all around the house.
Sighing in relief at that one thought taken off her mind, she stepped inside the open-door room and decided to take a little while delighting in the sight of them enjoying some of their presents.
Kurt, Friedrich and Louisa pillow fighting to get the winner to choose which game to play first, Marta and Gretl showing each other their new dolls and Brigitta isolated on her own bed, already lost in the reading of her new book. Another child aloof was Liesl, her eyes staring pointlessly at the glass of the window.
Maria cleared her throat before entering further and getting the children's attention, Brigitta's first.
"Mother!" she happily made the others aware of her presence, "I just love this book!" she continued, closing it shortly afterwards to pay attention to her mother
"Oh, I'm so glad, Brigitta … did the rest of you like your surprises?" Maria asked.
All the children nodded happily, accompanying the gesture with an approving choir that filled her heart with so much joy despite the moment the family was about to go through.
"Well now, I have something to tell you" her voice lowered, turning more serious, but as she was about to talk to them someone interrupted her
"Dinner's ready?"
"Yes, Kurt, as a matter of fact but-" another interruption occurred
"Father will make us sing at the festival?" Louisa's eyes brightened at the thought as she dropped the pillow and joined her siblings on the bed
"No, darling ..."
"Why not? Doesn't he like to hear our voices?" Gretl sweetly asked, suddenly schlumping her shoulders downwards.
Months may have passed by but if there was one thing that would never change was that those adorable children could never run out of questions. The little girl's voice had attracted the focus of her eyes and, for as much as she wanted to stick to the topic in her mind, she couldn't bear to see her children doubting of themselves. The younger ones as well as the older. She took a few steps to approach her and sat on the mattress, right between Friedrich and Gretl that immediately snuggled into her side.
Maria melted at the warmth of her little body cuddled against her and encircled her daughter with her slender arm, toying with the golden hair at the bottom of her braid.
"Oh, he loves them very much, sweetheart", she hurried to comfort her but as she was speaking, a way to divert the conversation on the right subject came to her mind, "… as a matter of fact we will need all of them for what we are about to do"
"What?" the seven of them choired their question
"We're going to play a game" she stood up and positioned herself right in front of the children, "I want you all to pick a special object of yours. It can be anything! Something meaningful to you, no matter what, just make sure they can all fit in here" she took a little bag out of one of the drawers.
The children showed enthusiastic about the idea and, after thinking a little bit about their special items, jumped off the bed and rushed to get them. At least the ones whose objects were in the nursery already.
Brigitta with no hesitation chose her new book and was the first one to put it in the bag. But just as her hands dipped into it, she turned her heard to Maria.
"Why do we need our voices for this, Mother?"
Oh dear, she thought to herself. That girl really noticed everything.
Their welcoming reaction had fooled her in the hope that questions wouldn't come, but as the seven pairs of eyes stared at her, all confused about that very question, she quickly had to think of a way to be clearer and yet un-worrying.
She looked at Liesl, her beautiful blue eyes certainly knew something, and if she was still able to read through her as an open book as she had done in her first evening there, she was pretty sure she had been hearing the conversation she and Georg had just exchanged downstairs.
"Children, I am going to be honest with you. While you were rehearsing, I am sure you saw ... certain men in uniforms walking around, the same that put the big flag on the front door-"
"The one with the big black spider on?" sweet Martha innocently asked
"Yes, darling. Well, they are not good people. And both your father and I don't want you to grow in this environment" she explained as clearly as she could, offering a gentle gaze to her youngest children. Then she sighed, conscious that her next words would have dramatically changed their moods, "but in order to do this we need to leave this house".
Utter silence filled the room, the children's faces blank, unable to process those words that were forcefully making their way through their minds.
Leave this house.
Their own house. No, they couldn't leave it, they knew no ther place. They had no other place.
After the longest seconds of tension, Martha looked at her mother and with her hazelnut, innocent eyes spoke up what had been troubling her the most in the past few minutes.
"We can't leave, Mother, I will miss it too much" Martha pointed out sadly, still empty handed
"Do you think we are happy about it?!" Kurt interrupted before Maria could formulate an answer.
But he was promptly tugged by Friedrich, not the older child yet aware as much as his sister of how hard the situation was. And Kurt's tone certainly wasn't helping.
Maria didn't miss it and immediately spoke up to avoid any worse consequence in the little quarrel that was about to start.
"Kurt is right, Martha, it was a very hard decision for your father too to take, so he needs us to be very supportive" then she dropped to her knees in front of her and brushed her dark fringe out of her tearful eyes, "I will miss this place too, darling. Why don't you too go and take your favourite thing? So that you can hold it tight whenever you will feel homesick" she offered her a kind smile
"Can I bring my pink parasol?" the girl's face surprisingly brightened all of a sudden
"Of course, sweetheart, you all can chose what you want"
"And where will we be going, Mother?" Louisa brought up another question.
Maria expected them to be confused and full of questions but for the first time she felt wordless. Not even she knew the answer to that question. She brought a hand to her brow, stroking it with her fingers, thinking of what to say while struggling to maintain a reassuring expression.
"Not sure, Louisa, I'm not sure. Maybe Switzerland, any other place will be safe".
Georg's solemn voice broke the tense silence and it made Maria's heart sigh with relief, he certainly knew the answer as well as how to handle panic in so many people at the same time.
"Friedrich, Kurt, I will need your help to get the car out of the gates" he stated resolutely
"Yes, Father" the two boys answered quickly, feeling an odd sense of proudness in being given such an important task.
Georg too felt glad they hadn't put up an argument. Then he felt a hand above his shoulder, surely not feminine and delicate as Maria's but bigger and rougher in the touch.
"I'm with you, Georg" Max grinned slightly under his moustache.
There.
It was right there and then that time seemed to stop. The earth under his feet was not cracking anymore. Instead, it had turned solid and stable again, giving him back the strength, brilliancy and courage that had always distinguished him.
A friend for a brother,
seven beautiful children, the roots of his bravery
a beloved wife, his soulmate, his lighthouse.
This was his world, and as long as they were together, nothing could have stopped him.
Under Max's invitation the children rushed after him to the dining room to get the much-needed energies while the couple remained a few steps behind, following at a slower pace. Georg turned his head to Maria's side, only to discover that she was already looking at him. He squeezed the fine hand he so gently held into his a little bit tighter.
"It will work, Maria, it has to" he smiled at her reassuringly
Then they stopped to walk and stared for a while into each other's preoccupied yet safety-emanating eyes.
"I love you, Georg" her hand found the back of his neck
"I love you too, my darling" he closed the distance between their lips and kissed her deeply, "I love you too" he echoed in a whisper, not even millimetres apart from his other half. His best half.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: my deepest thanks to all the lovely people that so warmly welcomed this new fic and left such kind reviews, your support is so welcome and means a lot to me. I hope you have enjoyed the reading of this second chapter as well, I loved writing it and it also introduces one of the underthemes of the fic about the relationship that Max will grow to share with the couple. I'll see you soon!