Disclaimer: DanMachi and its original characters are created and owned by Fujino Omori.
Chapter 10: Before They Wilt
It was quiet within the Hearth Manor.
The occasional clangs of metal on metal echoed through the desolate estate, yet they felt so distant. They would come and go as the young smith worked. His cerulean eyes blended with the silver and also with the crimson red and warm orange of the flames which were his companions. His arms ached from the weight of the hammer, which he brought up and down unendingly upon the metal unto which he worked. His shoulders burned as he held himself up— as he moved with his entire body in a single rhythm. He wiped the sweat that dashed his brow, turning away from the flames for a moment before stepping forward once more, feeling the simmering heat kiss his skin. There was still work yet to be done, after all.
Sitting cross-legged, hunched over the large table, the little Pallum had a tight grip on the pen in her hand as she scribbled furiously on the thin piece of parchment in front of her. She was focused, as were the two other women who sat by her side. One of them would rummage around in the big bag sitting just off to the side as the other organized its contents, setting them out in neat piles on the table. The three of them worked silently and diligently. No words were exchanged between them, yet there was an efficient, almost unnerving precision with which they worked— not missing a single beat— like a well-oiled machine.
A few rooms away, the golden Renart, with a broom in hand, idly brushed and swept the floors as she paced around aimlessly. Her turquoise green eyes were distant, and she stared off in a daze as she walked around. She'd bump into the edge of the table and leap up, almost like her mind was doing a reset before she would walk off once more, merely wandering. Her lips were pressed into a thin line and her grip on the broom was tight— never letting it go.
Watching her from her seat on the table, the little girl had her sapphire blue gaze glued to her, watching the pacing Renart with concern. She rubbed her hands as she leaned over the table. As she turned away, heaving a sigh from deep within her chest, she nearly jumped up in her chair as there was a knock which permeated the silence within, echoing off of the empty walls.
The Renart, too, jumped up, abruptly stopping as her tail went stiff, the golden hairs standing on end.
Hestia leapt off of her stool, trying to stop the girl, but she had already zipped over to the front door as she cried: "I'll get it!"
The Goddess could only follow after her, chasing after her and heading to the front door as well.
As the door was opened to reveal a courier from the Dian Cecht familia. They knew exactly what the message was and needed no further explanation. And so, following after the messenger, the Renart and the Goddess left the Hearth Manor, leaving it even more empty than before.
His eyes fluttered open, and he was greeted by the warm candlelight that washed over the walls of the room. It hurt, stinging his eyes, and he closed them immediately; he groaned as he brought his hands up to cover them.
His back throbbed and he felt his head spin. Letting a sigh slip from his mouth, he turned over onto his side, letting his head fall back down onto the pillow.
Slowly, letting himself get accustomed to the light, he opened his ruby red eyes once more, eventually, opening them fully.
Panning his gaze around the room, he took in the walls around him— walls that were not so foreign to him.
"Here again…" was his first thought as he pressed the palm of his hand against his temple, trying his best to sit up despite the dizziness.
Eventually, sitting up, he pulled the covers back and rested his face in his hands, taking several deep breaths, calming down the rapid beating of his heart.
After a while, he brushed his fingers through his snow white hair, slicking it back. Then, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he took a step down onto the ground, feeling his legs nearly collapse from under him.
He grabbed onto the frame of the bed, stabilizing himself as he shuffled around, first taking a knee before lifting himself onto his feet once more. Taking a few more deep breaths, he took another step forward and then another, slowly reaching the wall, using it as a crutch as he moved for the door.
Pushing the door open, he stepped into the empty hallways, moving forward, limping forward as he leaned against the wall. As he neared the end of the corridor, he leaned forward to push the next set of doors open. Staggering out, he came face-to-face with the secretary, who leapt up from his seat immediately.
"Mister Cranel!" The young man cried, which also served the purpose of attracting the attention of his superior, who was a few offices away. He paced over to the boy and helped hold his steady. "Let's get you back to your room and allow the Doctor to check up on you."
Turning back, the young man waved over his superior and then also sent another one of his colleagues away to notify the Hestia familia
He returned to the room with the boy in tow a few minutes later. The Head Doctor, Airmid, followed after them, rolling over a cart of supplies.
xxx
The two women rushed into the room, stopping in their tracks as they saw the boy sitting up, propped up in the bed.
Another woman sat next to him, sitting atop the stool by the side of his bed. Her eyes came up as the two settled down, and she waited for the two to take a seat before beginning.
"From what I've observed, he'll be fine," she said at last as the Goddess and Renart both looked back and forth between her and the boy. "The symptoms he's portrayed this past week-or-so are not much different than a regular mind-down though the only major point of concern is that the recovery period was abnormally long."
She paused, allowing both women to digest her explanation.
"My professional advice would be to carefully observe any developments in the upcoming days and weeks and to return immediately if something else of concern arises. It is, more often than not, simply that the Dungeon has taken a serious toll on his physical condition, and the best remedy is to rest. There is no need to take medicine since there is no diagnosed illness, whether from the Dungeon or otherwise. The best plan would be to allow him to spend some time home, preferably with his familia. That will likely be beneficial to his quick recovery."
With that, the Doctor took a step down from her stool, standing up and bowing by the waist.
"Unless you have further questions, I will be taking my leave. The adventurer Bell Cranel is free to leave our clinic whenever he feels ready. My God has already received the appropriate fees, so everything is accounted for."
Her words hung in the air for a moment as both Haruhime and Hestia remained silent. Seeing that there were no further questions, Airmid bid the trio farewell and made her way to the door, closing it shut behind her, giving the two women and the boy their deserved privacy.
There was an almost dreadful silence after the door had closed. Bell turned to the Renart and Goddess with a gentle, yet tired smile on his face.
"Goddess Hestia, Haruhime," his voice sounded strained, but neither of the two women commented on it, "how are you both?"
Hestia stepped down from her seat on the stool and shuffled over to the side of the bed, enveloping the boy in a hug. "How are we? How are you, Bell? Are you feeling okay? Does anything hurt?"
Behind her, the Renart also approached, taking a seat by the side of the bed.
"Yes, yes… I'm alright. Just… a little bit sore and also a little bit tired as well. But I feel excited now that I've woken up." He paused for a moment as the Goddess pulled away and the Renart came in for a hug of her own. "If I may… how… long was I out?" He grimaced at the question.
"A week, give-or-take, coming in-and-out of consciousness from time to time. From what Miss Teasanare described, you weren't in any serious conditions or at risk." Hestia gave him the best smile she could muster, trying to ease his tension. "Guess you were just really tired, huh?"
Bringing a hand up, Bell scratched his cheek. "I guess so." He paused for another moment, then spoke again. "But, about the others… are they alright? Was anyone hurt? A lot of it is a little bit lost to me, but I remember that we got separated by the falling cave and I wasn't able to find them… I don't even remember much about how I got back to the surface…" He turned his ruby red eyes to meet Haruhime's turquoise gaze. "Is everyone okay?"
Hesitating, Haruhime gave a clear nod of her head just a second later. "Yes, everyone is alright. They're all back at home, busy working and recovering… and also waiting patiently for your return. You don't have anything to worry about, Master Bell."
He nodded along. "Okay. Alright. Yeah." His gaze fell to his covers and he let out a relieved sigh.
Hestia, watching him with her sapphire blue gaze, clapped her hands, capturing his attention and changed the current topic of conversation to something more light-hearted.
"Alright! Why don't we head home? The Doctor has given you permission to go. I'm sure everyone will be just as relieved as us to see that you're alright. After that, you can wash off and take a nice bath and eat a nice meal. I can also update your status. I'm sure it'll make you feel better and stronger!"
Breathing in a deep breath, Bell turned to face her, meeting her eyes. He nodded once more, a little more resolutely this time. "Yes. Let's."
Sitting in the secluded study, Bell has his eyes trained on the pages, tirelessly sifting through letters. Sometimes ink, other times scratched charcoal; the words on the pages seemed to melt and blend together, dancing on the stained paper. He pressed his thumb against the scribbles and knit his eyebrows. As he leaned over the desk, with his head propped up against his chin, he could feel the time slip by as the sky outside grew darker.
An almost ethereal orange glow penetrated through the windows, illuminating the letters he stared at vacantly. He squinted his eyes against the soon-fading light; they glowed bright and the letters on the page seemed to jump out at him, surrounded by the last rays of sunlight—
Yet, he felt them droop. The bags under his eyes grew heavier the longer he stared: his mind playing around with those scribbles on the page, trying to make sense of them, but they had all essentially become just a soup of nothing at this point. They swirled around in his mind in a tempestuous whirlwind: flying all over and refusing to settle.
Letting his head finally drop, he allowed his eyes the rest they desired. He dragged his fingers across his face and them through his scalp before deftly moving them to close the book. A sigh escaped him as he leaned back on the backrest of his chair.
Then, veering forward, with his head perched in his hands, he brushed back his hair. Taking a deep breath in, he finally stood, tucking the chair back into place as he returned the book to its place and then pacing to the door. He wrapped himself tighter in his woollen coat as he walked, feeling the cold air cling to him.
The doors creaked open. And then, with a resounding click, they closed behind him.
xxx
His knuckles made three clear knocks on the door, and he waited patiently outside the room until he heard the voice from the other side ushering him in.
As he made his way over to the bedside, he discarded his jacket, stripping it away before pulling his shirt over his head, revealing his back to his Goddess.
No words were exchanged between them as Hestia got to work. The warm, blue light illuminated the room as it was pulled from the dark ink-like markings on his back, and Bell closed his eyes. He shivered as the tingling sensation spread throughout his back and as the cold air settled around him.
A few more silent moments later, she finally spoke:
"Congratulations, Bell. You've levelled up." She paused for a second as she stared at the hieroglyphics on his back; already, she could see the shape of the new Status forming. "It seems like you have two different Development Abilities to choose from. The first one is Swift; I think this one is quite common amongst adventurers of your particular specialization. It makes you faster than you already are and more nimble with your weapons. This one will definitely be a good match for your skills."
Bell listened, nodding along to her words.
"The other one here is Scorch. This one is also quite common amongst people who specialize in fire-element magic. I believe it both boosts the strength of fire-elemental magic and also your resistance to fire-elemental attacks. Firebolt will be greatly enhanced if you combine the swift-strike nature of the attack with improved firepower. This will also be very helpful to you as you continue moving through the Great Desert." She stopped for a second. "And, err… maybe also later on when our familia grows bigger and reaches deeper floors. I've read and heard from Hephaestus' kid that there are tons of fire-breathing dragons further down in the Dungeon, so it might be important."
Yes, Bell had heard about some of those same stories and rumours before— about Loki familia and their expeditions to the Deep Floors. From Floor 49, where the Monster Rex Balor resided, to beyond the 50th Floor, known as the Dragon's Vase. They were quite interesting stories, and only goes to show just how strong the Loki and Freya familias were.
His decision was quite a difficult question to answer, given that both options were favourable. Either he chooses to specialize in his fire magic— which may very well be a good thing as he learns to use and bend it to his will as he did by combining and charging Firebolt alongside Argonaut through the Hestia Knife— or he could choose a more generalist approach, and choose the option which gives him a greater overall boost to his capabilities.
Bell closed his eyes, trying to wrap his head around this dilemma. He pursed his lips and hummed until he finally came to a decision—
"I think the fire one— Scorch— would be the best fit for me. I can always raise my agility and dexterity with my Status, so getting this boost to my magic would be better."
Hestia was silent for a moment before she responded: "right." And she remained as such as she applied the rest of the Status update, watching the hieroglyphics etch themselves into the space before her, rippling and sending waves throughout the sea of blue light. The numbers shifted and moved, turning like cogs in a machine until finally fitting into place, revealing the new Status.
Pressing her hands to his back, the blue glow faded away, and Bell could feel that slight tingle in his back once more and he shivered. Then, as Hestia moved away, she plucked the Status sheet from her nightstand, transcribing the contents of the Falna onto the page for him to take a look.
Once she pulled away, all that was left was the black crest depicting a brazier. Hestia watched and nearly smiled as she saw the pattern: the flames seemed to cackle and move, undulating and flaring up, but she was snapped from her stupor when Bell finally turned around, pulling his shirt over his body and then wrapping the woollen coat around him, too.
He stood and then, taking a seat next to the Goddess on the side of the bed, she handed him the paper, letting him look over the contents for himself, though there wasn't much anyway. Since this was a level up, the numbers themselves were as they should be. The new Development Ability was there, along with the rest of them. His Skills and Magic remained untouched as well.
He let his eyes wander the page, skimming aimlessly through the black ink. His hands tightened and he ran his thumb over the inscribed letters. After a while, seemingly satisfied, he handed it back to Hestia and stood up from the bed.
"Wait, Bell…" she said and he stopped, turning back to face her.
Her eyes stayed on the floor, and she folded the page neatly in her lap as she frowned. She took a deep breath in and sighed.
"Bell, could you…" she paused and swallowed, "...stay for a second?" She set the paper by the nightstand and she finally lifted her gaze. Her sapphire blue eyes stared into his ruby red irises, holding them for a few moments; for a moment that felt too long, even for her, a Goddess. "There's something I need to tell you, so…"
Nodding, and although confused, the boy sat down once more beside her. And, as a few more silent moments passed between the two, she took yet another deep breath. Then, finally, she began speaking once more. Still confused, Bell could only listen as she spoke.
"There's something I've been… meaning to tell you… but I guess it's always just been busy and I've never had the time." She began and he waited patiently for her to continue. Her hands balled into tight fists and she crumpled the bedsheets with her grip. She wanted to call it off, but she knew now that there was no going back; her lips pressed into a fine line, as did her eyes, and then, she finally began— telling a story:
"It's a story; it begins about eight and a half months ago. On one special day, an adventurer came home— an adventurer who had almost died in the Dungeon that day. This adventurer had been cornered by a deadly monster— one that they could have never hoped to beat. But then, something else happened that day: that adventurer was saved by another adventurer— by a strong adventurer."
Bell nodded along, a little less confused now, though still in the dark. Although he could act clueless at times, he had already put together the pieces, though he didn't exactly know what point she was trying to make.
"Let me clarify. On that day, a boy was saved by a strong adventurer— a woman— and he made a vow to become strong enough to stand by her side— to become worthy of calling her his ally, friend, and perhaps even his lover."
Finally, she paused, her voice caught in her throat. She paused because this was exactly where…
"It was a strong desire born out of what could be considered a foolish, childish, and hopeless ambition—"
Bell smiled a little at that.
"—but, alas, it was who that boy was; it was what he had set his mind to. There was no changing it." She sighed. "A strong… strong desire, truly." Her eyes fell to her lap and she pressed his fingers together, intertwining them.
"A desire so strong, that, on that day, a new Skill was born."
Once those words came out, Bell knit his brows together as his eyes narrowed; his ears twitched and he looked over to his Goddess, trying to catch her eyes, but she kept her gaze averted.
"A new Skill: one that proclaimed that desire and ambition with such intensity and passion. A new Skill that could have had the power to tear apart the foundations— the rules that had been set in place by the gods for the past millennium. A new Skill that allowed that boy to reach new heights and to become stronger and to fulfill that dream; one that allowed him to overcome anything that was in his way, all so that he could fulfill that dream…"
Without ever meeting his eyes, as if trying to ignore his presence, she continued.
"So long as that boy held that conviction; so long as he had the desire to become her equal; so long as he never tried to give up on that goal, it would become his Destiny. The Skill would make sure of it; the Skill wouldn't have it any other way."
Finally, she fell silent. She drew her knees to her chest and interlaced her fingers. Her sapphire blue eyes closed, and she buried her chin into her knees.
There was a dreadful and anxious silence.
"Goddess…"
Finally, the boy broke that silence. He tried reaching out to the Goddess but stopped short.
"Goddess… are you saying…?"
He reached out again, and this time, he grabbed her shoulders.
"Are you saying that I…?"
She nodded her head ever-so-slightly, and it was enough confirmation for him. He immediately pulled away as if the energy had left his body. His arms fell limp by the sides of his body as he stood in front of the Goddess.
That dreadful silence returned. Bell's ruby red eyes stared down as if trying to beckon the Goddess' gaze to come up to meet him.
"Why…?"
Hestia's shoulder shook, yet she refrained from looking up.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Her face contorted into a frown and she gritted her teeth.
"Hestia, please. Hestia, please look at me. Please."
And his pleas were answered as she finally lifted her gaze. Her sapphire blue eyes met his ruby red irises.
"I couldn't, Bell." She swallowed. "It's… greedy… but I didn't want another God to take you from me. After we've found each other and after we've finally found our way forward. I couldn't bear to lose that." She gritted her teeth as her face morphed into misery. "I was weak and I had no way to protect you against anyone else; this was the only way— to hide it… from you, from other gods, from other adventurers: from everyone. I was afraid I would lose you and I was afraid you'd be taken by some God that only cared about that Skill— a God whose only intention was to treat you like some sort of toy and play with you until they got bored and decided you were no longer valuable to them."
He stared at her in disbelief. A frown crossed his face and his eyebrows furrowed. "So what? So you thought I didn't have the right to know because you didn't trust me enough to keep a secret?"
Hestia's face scrunched up into a grimace. "I was trying to protect you. I did what I thought was right. Was it the best choice? Maybe not, but in my eyes, that's a better alternative than allowing the alternative to happen. Do you remember Apollo? Imagine a world where even more gods like him— stronger gods— came to attack us, trying to take you away and force you to do something you didn't want to do. I did what I thought was needed to keep you safe!"
His shoulders relaxed and he slumped back, the angry frown left his face, replaced only by a grimace.
"Take me away? Why? They're the ones who decided I wasn't worth it in the first place!" He ground his teeth together as his hands curled into tight fists. "No. All they'd want is this stupid Skill; that's all it is. This stupid Skill is the only thing I'm good for. Without it, I wouldn't have been strong anyways— just another below-average adventurer doing below-average things—!"
He nearly struck his fist into the wall but stopped short, realizing the fragility of their predicament. He continued in a hushed voice:
"All of it… this stupid Skill. This recent expedition and all of the things that happened with the— with the Desert Ruins. Defeating the Amphisbaena. Lyu and the 27th Floor. Wiene and the Xenos. Haruhime and Ishtar Familia. Mikoto and Apollo familia. Welf and the 18th Floor. Lili. The Silverback. Bete and the pub and when I snuck into the Dungeon without armour. It's all because of that Skill and because of…" He dragged his fingers through his hair, and the realization bore down on him even more. "...because of some stupid Luck. Of course… some stupid Luck… I even have a Development Ability for it."
"That's not true." Hestia had risen from her seat and she reached out to grab his shoulders. "The Skill doesn't make you who you are—"
"How can you say that? Would I still be who I am if it weren't for that Skill?" He brushed her away. "Would Hestia familia still be what it is today if it weren't for that Skill? We'd probably still be under that church and I'd still be Level 1— probably Level 1 for the rest of my life, too! Just some nobody who'd do nothing but lose and lose and lose and lose all the time— just like what all of those gods said when they rejected me in the first place!"
"Then tell me why you're still here!" As loud as she could, Hestia cried out, and the boy snapped his eyes over, almost terrified of her volume. He had long since abandoned keeping this conversation discrete. "Tell me why you're still here talking to me right now! Tell me why you were able to make it back! Tell me why you were able to survive in the Dungeon at all!"
He scowled. "What are you saying!?"
That caused her to calm down, and she nearly backed away. Her eyes fell to the floor again. Silence encroached upon them; their clash came to a grinding halt as Bell pleaded with his eyes for her to talk.
"I'm saying…" Hestia sighed. "I'm saying that there's still more that I have to tell you… that there's another part to the story…"
He remained silent and he watched her, clinging to her words as if they were his life force.
"The story continues like this: around about a few weeks ago, something suddenly happened— changed. The Skill vanished; or, at the very least, the Skill became something different— not the same as it previously was. And yet, even then, the adventurer did what he always did: he went into the Dungeon with those in his familia and those he cared about and he returned— he won and survived another day in the Dungeon. Even without that Skill, that adventurer went on another adventure. He got hurt along the way and maybe bad things happened, but he struggled and ultimately overcame."
She stopped, and she finally lifted her gaze once more, meeting Bell's eyes.
"You did that, Bell. Even without the Skill, you did that. So how can you say that the Skill is all that matters? How can you tell me that you're nothing without that Skill?"
Bell grimaced.
"But even so, I'm only as strong as I am now because of that Skill—"
"And I could argue that having a strong enough will to hold onto the conviction needed for that Skill shows great enough strength on its own. There aren't many people who could've done what you've done even with that Skill. And the Skill itself is evidence enough that you're strong. It's your Skill, Bell; it was something that you developed on your own. It's an extension of who you are; not some cheap or unfair ability to get stronger."
She tried grabbing his hands.
"Please, Bell, tell me what's wrong. Tell me what happened." She tried to interlace her fingers with his. "This Skill, it's you; it's the definition of you and your passion and your dream. Please tell me what's wrong, Bell. Why did it leave you? What happened to cause that Skill to leave?— for you to change into something that you aren't?"
This time, it was Bell who backed away. He averted his gaze as he took a step back. "No, nothing. I guess, I just stopped trying to chase after that foolish dream."
"I can't believe that. That's not the Bell I know. Even if it's childish, nothing has ever stopped him before. Even when there are obstacles in his way, he'll overcome them; he always has!"
"Well, then I guess that means I'm growing up. Maybe it's time for me to stop being so foolish anyway."
"Is… is that really what you think, Bell? Do you really believe that?"
He paused for a second. And then, he looked away.
"... yes."
Taking another step back, his frown deepened. Hestia watched him go, trying to reach out for him again.
"I'm sorry. I need some time." He grimaced. "I'm sorry."
"Bell—!" She cried out, but the boy had already left, running away as quickly as his feet could take him.
"Bell…!"
Even as the sun over the walls of Orario receded, Bell walked through the streets. Hands tucked tightly in his pockets, he wandered the streets, bathing in the lights of Orario's soon-ending business day.
He didn't know where he wanted to go, but he knew there were only two places for him to go. Whether he wanted someone to talk to or if he merely wanted to be alone and think, he wasn't quite sure. He had yet to make up his mind, but his heart yearned for the former, so, naturally, he went there.
Stepping onto East Main, he paced down the still-crowded streets until he stood under the sign that loomed above. Turning right, he stepped onto the veranda, and then, with a gentle push of the wooden gates, he stepped forward into the light and the noise.
"Welcome—!" came the half-greeting of the girl who stood by the door. As her grey eyes opened, meeting his red gaze, she stepped closer. Her silver hair was illuminated by the bright orange fireplace and the magic stone lamps hung around the establishment.
The din of the pub and the chaos of the surroundings thumped wildly in his ears— only made louder by the same beating of his heart. Nonetheless, the world around him seemed so insignificant at that moment; like nothing else in the world mattered except for the girl who stood before him. All he could do was hold her gaze. The soft silver and blue almost comforted him, and he felt himself relax. His shoulders grew less tense and he took a step forward towards her.
"Hey, Syr," he said as he finally turned his gaze away, looking to the ground at his feet. "Uhm… is Lyu available? I was let go just this morning and I never got the chance to speak to her, so I wanted to make sure she's alright."
Breaking out of her own trance, it was Syr who finally closed the distance between them. Her smile came to her lips and she looped her hands through his arm, guiding him further into the pub.
"Well, it's already been a while since you guys returned to the surface, so Mama Mia has already begun working her to the bone."
Bell smiled oddly at that as the two made their way further into the diner hall. Adventurers around them noticed the boy and the girl. Some of them, the drunk ones, hollered and whistled, which caused the volume inside the pub to grow louder. Not like it was a problem for the two, though, both of whom had already drowned out all of the unnecessary noise.
"But I think she'll be available; Mama Mia'll make an exception. She always does; in fact, she's been waiting for you to return and show up, too! I think she's a little mad that Lyu was hurt when you guys came back, but I think she's mostly worried about you, too." Syr flashed her teeth and giggled. "But don't tell her I told you that, okay?"
The smile never left his face and he merely turned to face her again. Their eyes met once more, and he nodded.
As the two finally reached the bar where Mia worked, she looked at Bell, scanned his face, and then, with a sharp nod, called for Lyu. Syr and Bell broke apart as the former returned to her work and the latter took a seat by the counter, waiting for his new companion to arrive.
And she did so a few moments later as she burst out from the back kitchen, carrying a set of dishes with her. First, she looked to her boss, a little bit confused as to why she was called.
As she followed the Dwarf's gaze, though, her sky blue eyes fell upon the boy. Almost instantly, a smile came to her face and she stepped forward, setting down the dishes she was carrying.
"How are you, Lyu? Has everything been alright?" He looked over to Mia, but the bar owner had already gone back to work, seemingly uninterested in their conversation. "Mama Mia hasn't been overworking you, has she?" he asked, as the corners of his lips came up.
"No, no, everything has been fine. I wasn't really badly injured, I was just really tired from using my magic so much, so I was fine after a few days." Setting her hands on the counter, the smile on her face turned into a slight frown. "What about you? Did you just get out today? Everyone was worried about you…"
"Yes, I did, but it's alright. I think I was just a little bit tired, too. Miss Airmid said she didn't find anything wrong, so I've just been trying to take it slow and resting lately."
"But, you were…" the Elf played with her fingers, pressing them together and intertwining them. "...but you were down there alone… I'm sorry, Bell. We should have done something; I should have done something." She grimaced. "And then there was that light— that white light…" she grabbed her arms and shoulders as if she could still feel the stinging burn of the flames. "It hurt… it hurt a lot, but it hurt more not being able to protect those that were with me. Welf and Lili, as well as Ouka and Chigusa; not just the people who were within my reach but also the others as well… Mikoto and Haruhime, Daphne and Cassandra. Even Aisha and you." Her hands tightened into a fist. "And then, when I should have come around to look for you guys so we could have all made it back together, I…"
There was silence between them. It was so painfully long, even with the loud, howling laughter and the shouting around them, they felt as if they were in their own bubble, completely invisible to the rest of the world—
"Sometimes, there are things that happen beyond our control." He broke the silence between them. "Sometimes, it feels like things are unfair or that we want to blame ourselves— or maybe even the world." He nearly laughed. "But, well… I guess we adventurers don't really have the time for that, huh?"
She was quiet for a few moments as she stared back at him, her blue eyes softened the longer she stared. And then, as his gaze met hers, the corners of her lips went up in a smile— it was certainly a sad smile but definitely not fake; it was one that held the regrets of someone who could not regret. "No." She said at last, as her face still held that same smile. "No, I guess we don't."
She took in a deep breath as both of them fell silent once more. This time, it was she who broke the silence.
"There is no role for regret in our lives. As adventurers, we don't have such luxury. If we want something, then we best be sure that we act on it— even if it may be misguided or even if it may be a mistake. Because once that opportunity comes, it goes just as fast. A split second is all we have— before those chances turn to ash and wilt in our hands, we must take them and face the defeats and revel in the victories— whatever might come."
She sighed.
"Though, I'm not sure. I'm not sure whether or not this is a blessing or a curse." She paused and looked over to the silver haired waitress as she weaved through tables, balancing dishes in her arms all the while. "For some people, they have all the time in the world to make those decisions. For some people, they have all the time in the world to regret. I thought that that was a good thing— to have so much time— I thought that that was the best life, but I realize now that it wasn't— isn't at all. I was like that once: I lingered and waited for too long as I watched the petals of that beautiful flower wilt in my hands as I did nothing but try to restore them like some fool— even when they were already long gone."
She tore her gaze away and met the boy's eyes.
"As adventurers, it is in our nature to make mistakes. We make mistakes and yet they may already be overshadowed by the struggles of the next day. As adventurers, we must always keep on moving forward even when we are kicked low. But some people, they don't have that. They agonize and think and think and truly, truly dwell on these decisions, even more so when they become mistakes. For us adventurers, our lives are preoccupied with nothing but struggles, but for others, they don't have that— dare I say— luxury. They have all the time in the world to think, and sometimes that thinking is what breaks them."
Sliding her hand across, she held it out to the boy, and he took it.
"Even still, blessing or curse, I don't think it matters. No matter what, I'll always keep on trying to do what I think is right. Perhaps it's not really right, and perhaps I might end up hurting somebody. It's alright if someone never forgets about the mistakes I've made— in fact, that would probably be for the best. The best I can do is to ask for their forgiveness; and if someone asks such of me, then the best I can do is to offer this much to them. Because I never want someone else to be like who I was. Syr was there for me when I needed her," she looked over to the girl, "but others may not be so lucky."
Silence fell upon the pair once more as they sat together, holding each other's hands. Then, as they felt comfortable in that silence, the Elf sighed. She gave his hand a squeeze and then stood.
"I should get back to work, now. It was nice talking to you; I hope we can make some more time for it later in the future—"
"Oh…! Uhm… wait, Lyu—" she turned and he held a hand out, but the words died in his mouth. As she waited expectantly for him to continue, he simply pulled away, letting his hand fall to the table. A smile came to his face as his ruby red gaze met her blue eyes. "No… actually, nevermind. Let's talk another time."
She smiled back, and then, with a silent "okay", retreated into the back kitchen, disappearing behind the doors.
Sighing and letting his head drop to the counter, still with a smile on his face, his eyes shot up as he heard a soft clink on the table.
"Well, aren't you just cheerful?" Looking up, he saw Syr looming over him, having set a small cup of juice in front of him.
"Uhm… Syr, I didn't…" then, meeting the toothy smile she gave him, he simply sighed again and ran his finger against the rim of the glass. "Do I? Maybe… I guess so…" He hummed as the girl took a seat beside him, filling up the spot her friend had just vacated. "I guess I just have a lot to think about, and I'm glad that I've made a little bit of headway."
She raised an eyebrow. "About what?"
He didn't respond for a second, and he merely sat up in his seat, taking a sip of the juice.
"About…"
He took a deep breath in. A smile came to his face, and although it wasn't forced, it was filled with hesitation and a little bit of remorse.
"About my friends— my family."
The sky grew darker as the boy wandered the streets once more. The air around him became cold and he wrapped himself tighter in his jacket. The wind brushed through his hair, which glowed with an ethereal brilliance in the moonlight.
Soon, he reached his destination. Tilting his gaze up to the peak of the walls, he took a deep breath in and then let it out. Finally, he began climbing, scaling the steps leading up.
xxx
Reaching the top, Bell paced around the walls, peering up at the night sky above. The stars were splayed out across the sky, twinkling like little gems suspended in a great chandelier. They carved patterns through the galaxy, telling their own story, engraved into the universe itself.
Taking a seat by the parapet, Bell dangled his legs over the edge of the wall. He let out a little sigh as the cold wind swept across him once more. He wrapped his arms closer to him and he smiled, watching those twinkling stars, remembering all that his grandfather had once told him about those very stars—
"It's quite something, isn't it?"
A voice brought him out of his trance and he looked to the side. There, a girl stood, leaning over the sides of the wall, gazing up at the stars along with him.
"They say that only the most beautiful— those who are chosen by the gods— are allowed to go up there. Not reborn, like many, but immortalized, as if they were gods themselves."
Finally, she looked at him. Her mystifying violet eyes met his crimson red gaze, and they held each other for a while. The wind swept through the peak of the wall; her hair fluttered like ribbons, carried by the wind. She held out a hand towards him, pale in the moonlight.
"This will be the first of many times we meet, Bell Cranel." She took a step towards him, never breaking her gaze. "It's my pleasure to make your acquaintance; please call me V."
Instinctively, he tried reaching out but stopped himself short just as they were mere inches away. He swallowed. "Are you… a God?"
She stopped in her tracks, still with her hand outstretched, as if beckoning him to approach. "No, not quite, but very much alike, I suppose."
The boy narrowed his eyes as he leapt off of the parapet, coming to his feet.
This time, she simply retracted her hand, as if she had given up on that avenue. Instead, a smile came to her face. "I can see that you're tense, but you see, I am not here to hurt you."
"Then why are you here?"
"On behalf of someone else, but also partially on my own accord."
"What do you want from me?"
"I think perhaps I should be asking that question." Finally, she turned away. "Come, walk with me." She gestured with her finger. "Walk with me and I shall answer any question you may have that is within my knowledge."
xxx
Side by side, the two walked along the top of the walls, shrouded by the silence of the approaching night. Although Bell had chosen to follow the girl, up until now, he had yet to speak. Still trying to figure out if he had made a mistake or if it was all some sort of trick, Bell was snapped out of his stupor when she finally broke the wall that had formed between them.
"It's quite interesting for us Spirits and for Gods," she began. "We never die and we live forever. It's quite natural to think that any regular mortal life passes us at the snap of a finger. And perhaps that is indeed true. As centuries and maybe even millennia pass, Spirits and Gods begin to forget about even the most delightful of mortals of whom we've happened to chance upon in our lifetime."
Bell turned to look at the girl, furrowing his eyebrows and frowning.
"Some mortals have accepted this fact without hesitation." She pursed her lips. "And who can blame them? After all, it's difficult to fault them for thinking that way. They choose to dissociate themselves from the gods they serve, hoping instead to make a lasting mark on mortal history rather than in the memory of gods."
She paused and met his gaze.
"Other mortals, however, have taken this fact for what it was worth, and have in fact made it their goal to become the one-in-a-lifetime that would be the one to make the unchangeable Spirits and Gods… change— to, if you will allow another analogy— to become immortalized within the memory of Spirits and Gods."
The purple of her amethyst eyes bore into the boy, and he nearly shivered under her gaze. The colour seemed to practically glow in the moonlight and Bell sucked in a deep breath, eventually looking away, hiding from that unnerving stare.
"Might I ask which one you may be, Bell?"
Caught off guard, he was unsure of how to respond, and so that was the only thing he could say: "I'm… not so sure."
She was silent for a few seconds as she stopped, causing the boy to stop as well. They stood still as statues for a few moments as another gust of wind swept past them, their hair whipped into a frenzy of white and black.
She smiled. "I see. Lovely. Come."
And with that, she began walking once more, and he followed.
"Say, who is Hestia to you?"
He narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brows as he looked at her.
"What do you mean? 'Who is Hestia to me?'" He paused for a second as if trying to find the right words. "Well, of course, she's my Goddess. She was the first person to reach out to me and to give me a chance when no one else would. She's always been by my side and has always tried her best to help me and help the rest of the familia, too."
Taking a deep breath in, he lifted his gaze to the night sky, watching the twinkling stars from above grow even more vibrant as the light of the sun was fully snuffed from the sky.
"Even if she might be breaking the rules or even if she might be putting herself at risk, she'll always help me when I'm in trouble. No matter what, she's willing to give me a chance and to help, even if it means entertaining the possibility of losing everything."
He sighed.
"Of course, she makes mistakes, but I know that she's always tried her best. Even for a God, something like that is impossible, right? I'm not sure, but I don't think I would've liked it any other way. That she might just be like me and that she's just a clueless, loveable idiot that needs other people to be with her and help her and be helped by her…"
He laced his fingers together and he smiled bitterly.
"Yeah… I don't think I would have it any other way…"
The two walked a few more meters in silence. Below them, the few remaining lights grew dimmer as Orario's day finally came to an end.
"If that's really how you feel, then, tell me, Bell, what has changed?"
He looked at her with raised eyebrows. "'What has changed?'?"
She nodded, "it's quite clear to me that you already know a great deal about yourself. You know how you feel, yet you are indecisive?"
He looked away, musing to himself. "What has changed…? What has changed, indeed?" He hummed. "I'm not so sure, but it just feels like something has changed. Hestia has made many mistakes before and that's not a bad thing; she's always done her best not to repeat those mistakes and I feel that she's truly become a better person than the one I first met all those months ago…"
"But…?" she probed.
"But… it feels like she's actually a different person altogether, now— not someone I've known or know. She kept her secret in the best interest of the familia— for me— I get that, but… it just doesn't feel right." He frowned. "Our familia has always been small, so we've always needed to put the utmost trust in each other. I've always trusted Hestia and Lili and Welf and Mikoto and Haruhime with all of my secrets… but if Hestia can hide this from me, what other things can she be hiding? And the others, too, you know?"
This time, it was she who looked back with her eyebrows raised. "All of your secrets, hmm…"
His eyes nearly snapped open as he turned to her before quickly turning away. "All of my secrets… yeah…"
They walked for a few more steps silently against the bone-chilling wind.
"Well, of course, all of us have secrets—"
"Yeah, but, this secret was about me! Don't I have the right to know?"
"Indeed you do, but would that have changed much? Whether or not you knew about the secret, would that have changed anything? Would you have ceased to be exactly who you were and are if you had known?"
"Well, I mean…"
"If that answer is yes, then I would have to disagree."
He frowned and nearly scoffed. "I don't think that's something for you to decide…"
She hummed in kind. "Then, please excuse my careless assumption, Bell."
They continued along. His hands tightened into fists by his side; his nails dug into the palm of his hand, nearly drawing blood.
"No… no; you're right, after all." He allowed his tense shoulders to relax. "Nothing's changed… at least, nothing should have changed… I get that, but it just feels like—"
"I'm not saying you should ignore that feeling you have, Bell. In fact, you shouldn't; it'll only make it worse." She paused. "Perhaps I am getting ahead of myself, but I can understand the feeling you describe. And I also know that this is not what you want. Whether or not something's changed or nothing's changed, it doesn't matter. Just do what you think feels the most right to you— so that you can make some headway on this new world that's possibly changed."
She looked over at him and he felt compelled to look back. The amethyst purple met the ruby red, and they held each other for what felt like minutes, but in truth was mere seconds.
"After all…" she gave him a small grin and a shrug of her shoulders, "what else can you do?"
He was silent for a few moments, and he pursed his lips. Then, finally, he nodded. "Yeah… yeah, I guess that's true…" He took in a deep breath and then exhaled, and finally, he felt himself relax.
"Well, would you look at the hour?" The boy looked up to the Spirit, and followed her gaze up to the sky. "It seems like we ran out of time, even though I had originally come hoping to ask a few of my questions as well." Their eyes met. "How about we postpone that and talk some other time. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask me then, but we also have to make time for me, too, otherwise, that'll be quite unfair for me."
Bell could only smile in reply. "Oh… ok, alright… sure…" He brought his hand up to scratch his cheek.
"Say, Bell, think long and hard about what I've said, alright? I think it might really help you in the future."
He simply nodded. "I'll try my best—"
—he blinked, but when he opened his eyes once more, the girl was already gone, as if she had vanished into thin air. The boy raised his eyebrows, briefly wondering if it had been some silly daydream.
"But I guess it doesn't matter all that much…"
He looked to the stars— where the girl once was. He pursed his lips.
"What has changed…? What has changed…?— indeed…"
Bell walked through the dimly lit hallway, eventually making his way to the end. As he was upon the wooden door, he saw the light from under seep out.
"So she's still awake. Good." He thought to himself as his hands clenched into a tight fist. His nails dug into the palm of his hand and he ground his teeth together, trying to stop them from chattering. "All of your secrets… and all of mine…" He raised a hand, preparing to knock on the door. "Nothing's changed… no… rather, this was how it was meant to be all along."
Finally, he knocked on the door, making three resounding taps.
There was a brief silence from across the room, and then a little bit of shuffling, and then finally the lock on the door clicked open. There was an almost deafening screech as it was eased open, revealing the little girl from the opposite side.
Bell's ruby red eyes met her sapphire blue gaze, and the two remained still for a few moments until he finally broke out of his stupor.
"Uhm…" He scratched his cheek as he smiled, but even he knew it was forced. "Could we… talk…?"
She didn't respond, merely nod as she stepped to the side, allowing him to enter, which he did only after a brief hesitation.
The door shut behind them as they both made their way to the edge of the bed and they sat down.
Silence fell between the pair of them and they struggled to start. The boy was still a little bit lost and also a bit afraid. The Goddess, on the other hand, was fully scared. Inevitably, it would be Bell who would break that silence.
"Hestia," he began, forcing her to look at him, "I can't say that I'm not mad…"
Immediately, she looked away, not able to meet his eyes.
"I know that you had my best interests in mind, but the fact that you could not trust me enough to tell me sooner makes me feel as though the bond we share is not as strong as I believe it was. It made me think you were someone I didn't know— not the Hestia that I've known and come to respect and love."
She remained silent, wanting to fully hear him speak.
"However, I also know that it wouldn't be fair for me to pin the blame on you. I can't say that I know what it feels like to live like a God, so how can I possibly say I'm fit to judge you for it? I know you probably thought about it a lot and did what you felt was right."
He took in a deep breath and let it out. He felt his shoulders relax and he looked back up, this time, enticing her to look up as well.
"What I'm saying is… I want a do-over. I'm not saying that we should forget that it never happened, but rather that we should both learn from it and learn to trust each other a little more."
He grabbed her hand in his own.
"We were sitting here and looking at those flowers that had already decayed. So, instead of doing nothing and hoping and praying that they will bloom again, let us instead plant new flowers instead— and keep those flowers everlasting and ever-growing."
He gave her hand a weak squeeze and he looked over at her. His red eyes bled with such pain that hers began to water.
"A do-over…" were the first words she spoke that night. It was thick and not with its usual chirp. If it wasn't already clear from the red around her puffy eyes that she had been crying, there was no mistaking it now. "I… I can try… but…"
"I don't expect you to reveal every secret to me just as I hope you do not expect the same from me. Sometimes, there are things we must bear and carry alone, and we may only be able to be there for each other in spirit and not in wholeness." He raised his hand, still clasped with hers to his heart. "But, even still, I no longer want this wall between us. It's alright if we'll remain separated as mortal and God, but let us now at least try to connect our realms with a true, unbreakable, and unshakeable bridge."
She gave his hand a squeeze back. She nodded and brought her other hand, enveloping his in her full embrace. "Bell," she began as she closed her eyes, letting the last few drops of tears flow out, "let's both do our best. For the rest of the familia— for the new family we've both found."
And the two of them held each other there, for some time, silently, peacefully, and happily—
Yet, the boy was crying, and his tears came out unimpeded, if only because…
She wiped the corners of his eyes with her thumb and wrapped her arms around him, bringing him to her bosom.
He hiccoughed as the tears streamed down the sides of his face, staining the floor and bedsheets.
"A…" he struggled to choke out the words, but she remained patient, hanging to his every word. She held him in her arms— holding his head and shoulders steady.
"A…" he took a deep breath to quell the nervousness in his stomach… his hands balled into tight fists, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force the stinging tears away to no avail. When he opened them again, he was met with her soft, sapphire blue eyes, and he almost felt at ease.
"About… Ais…"
But as he spoke her name, he felt as if he could see her. Her golden eyes pierced into him like daggers, as if trying to nail him down. His throat was dry and he felt his head burn with a fever.
"About… Ais…" he tried again, croaking out his next few words—
And Hestia's blue eyes widened as those words reached her ears. She squeezed her eyes shut just as she felt her own tears coming. She listened to the boy as he told every excruciating detail, and she held him close, never letting him go.
There was a knock at the door. A voice ran out through the manor. "I'll get it!"
The golden haired Renart grabbed the cloak and jacket on-hand at the door and stepped out into the cold autumn morning. Puffs of smoke came out from her breath as she nestled herself deeper in her scarf. The morning haze made it difficult to make out more than a few meters in front of her, but she made her way to the gate nonetheless with the express purpose of greeting their unexpected guest.
As she neared the iron bars, she saw exactly who it was: stuffed within a heavy hood and cloak, the gleaming silver hair of the young lady was visible to Haruhime.
"Miss Syr, good morning!"
The girl responded in kind with a greet of her own as the gates fully swung open, allowing the two women to meet.
"Good morning, Miss Haruhime," she said as she peered into the distance behind the Renart. "Uhm… is it possible that I could speak to Bell? I had been meaning to speak to him when he came over to visit, but it seemed like he had been busy lately and I never got the chance to speak to him."
The Renart merely nodded and bowed. "Of course, please come with me; I don't want you to stay out here in the cold."
Syr's face lit up with a smile. "Lovely. I appreciate the hospitality greatly."
And so the two women made their way back, trudging through the front garden and reaching the front door. Led by Haruhime, Syr took a step into the warmly lit Hearth Mansion; a large fireplace which stood at the center of the room crackled and burned with life.
Haruhime bowed once more. "Please wait here, I shall fetch Master Bell." And the Renart excused herself without missing a beat.
She returned a few minutes later with the boy and gave the two the privacy they needed.
"Good morning, Syr, is there something you needed from me?"
She fiddled with the hem of her jacket. "Uhm… yeah, you see… I actually wanted to ask a favour…"
He raised an eyebrow but otherwise didn't point out the girl's odd behaviour. "Sure, no problem, so what did you need?"
"Uhm… well, this is your first year in Orario, right…?"
Bell nodded.
"Then… would you like to accompany me to the Winter Festival… on a date…?"
This time, it was Bell who squirmed— "huh—!?" He nearly tripped over nothing as he took a step back. "Syr—!?" However, he quickly recovered and he simply scratched his cheek. "I… I…" he swallowed, unsure of what to say next.
But she look at him with such sad and pleading eyes that he almost couldn't refuse.
Thus, "yes… Syr…" was his response as he took a step forward, watching as her face lit up, and grabbed her hands. He tried to make the smile on his face look as unforced as possible, but he was sure it didn't come out the way he wanted. To be fair, it wasn't that he was unhappy with going on a date with Syr, it was just that… the last time a woman had asked him out, he…
He whisked the thoughts away and he focused on her. His ruby red gaze met her crystalline silver eyes. He could feel her squeeze his hand. Her lips spread into a wide, happy smile and it almost looked like she was holding back tears.
"Thank you, Bell—!" And that was when she got onto the tips of her feet, pressing her lips against his for a mere second before pulling away.
It was a mere second, but it felt far too long and far too much like—
"I'll see you soon, Bell! I can't wait for our date!"
His eyes snapped up just in time to see her wave and disappear behind the mist and fog. Frozen in place, with wide eyes, Bell watched the place where the girl had just disappeared. His heart beat like thunder in his chest and his mind raced, filled with a swirling, conflicting swarm of thoughts.
xxx
The girl walked through the front courtyard. The world around her was obscured by the mist, and yet, as she reached the front gates, she could see from the corner of her eyes the vibrant pink of roses, the pristine white of lilies, the serene blue of periwinkles, and the bright yellow of daffodils.
Even still, she could tell that they were no longer as pretty as they once were. After all, the cold was already approaching, and any day now could be the day when the snow would come. For some, they still stood, strong and resilient, but nonetheless succumbing to the cold as their petals gained a sheen of frost. Others were still holding on desperately; although their petals have already shrivelled and lost their once beautiful vibrance, they have yet to truly die out.
Yet, the unfortunate truth was that they would eventually lose their petals— they would eventually lose their colour and retreat into the soil, hoping only to bloom again the next year.
Turning away, the girl walked through the gates away from the Hearth Mansion, eventually making her way down to Central Park. She looked to the sky, obscured by the clouds. She took in a deep breath of the frigid morning air; she could almost feel it shocked her system and gave her energy.
"Yes, but people aren't as simple. Unlike the flowers that will continue to bloom in the next season, and then the next, and then the next… for people, there is only one instant— one instant that passes and goes so quickly… so quickly that it's saddening. For people, there is only ever one bloom— when that colour is its most beautiful— most captivating."
Her silver hair whipped in the breeze that swept through the streets, and she opened her silver eyes, looking to the sky once more, squinting as she felt the light grow brighter— as the sun's brilliance peeked through the snow white clouds.
"But that's quite alright… because there is a wonderful remedy."
A puff of smoke was released from her lips and a smile etched itself onto her face.
"Bell… do you know why flowers can remain so beautiful…?"
She felt something cold and soft rest on the tip of her nose. Around her, little flecks of white danced in the air, falling from the sky above.
"It's quite simple…"
The first snow in Orario had fallen: winter had come.
"You pluck them out before they wilt."
Bell Cranel
Level 5
Strength: SSS1173 → I0
Endurance: SSS1156 → I0
Dexterity: SSS1125 → I0
Agility: SSS1203 → I0
Magic: SS1087 → I0
Luck: F
Abnormal Resistance: G
Escape: I → H
Scorch: I
[Magic]
Firebolt: Swift-Strike Magic
[Skills]
Liaris Freese: -
Argonaut: Charged automatically with active action
Ox Slayer: When fighting minotaurs, all abilities are enhanced
Don't have much to say this time but I included the Status update because some of you guys wanted it.
Reviews and feedback are appreciated.