ALL LOST

chapter 8

The hopes of finding relief in spending the night at the abandoned church were failed when the place proved to be the opposite of the home they thought they'd found.

The door had been impossible to close fully so between its constantly banging wings and the cracks in the window, a rush of cool air had annoyed them all night long with its terrifying noise. The benches were dirty, dusty, and lethal weapons to sleep on, possibly even harder than those mountains rocks. And, to top that all, it was freezing cold inside, the walls seemed to be paper-thin and if there had been the slightest bit of light, they were pretty sure they would have seen rats and spiders running all over the place.

If there was only one positive thing about it all, it was that they had a roof on their heads and, letting apart the several leaks here and there, their clothes weren't soaked in rain as they would have been if they stayed outside, exposed to the thunderous rainstorm that had poured from those grey threatening clouds.

Saying that Maria hadn't slept a wink was an understatement, she had been sleeping on the floor after allowing Georg to take the one bench left and the poor man hadn't even had the time to disagree before falling asleep out of exhaustion. The thought of spiders coming close to her body scared her to the point that she spent the rest of the night tiptoeing on the floor and checking on the children's conditions, her skin constantly covered in cold goosebumps.

The poor angels were extremely tired too so her heart filled with relief whenever they would fall asleep and rest through the entire night, benefitting at best from the few hours of sleep they could allow themselves.

Finally, a weak sun began its raise from the mountains, though covered by a layer of grey clouds. As soon as light was allowed into the place, her stomach viscerally squeezed at the white cobwebs hanging to the beams of the roof and the piles of dust in which her family had been rolling into.

She couldn't wait to get out of that place.

But she couldn't take that little sleep left away from them, either.

Trying to be as silent as she could, Maria opened the door and walked down the few stairs, kneeling down on the wet grass.

She didn't worry about it soaking her skirt, but it indeed felt like the most comfortable surface where she could have just laid and rolled into.

Her hands joined into a prayer, her eyes raised to the cloudy sky, and she silently prayed for the people she loved the most. For the Reverend Mother and all the sisters at the Abbey whose help had been more precious than they could ever know; for Max, Georg's dearest friend, and for all the people back at the Villa, hoping they were all well; and for her family. Her children, her husband, she herself, they all were in desperate need of help.

A loaf of bread, a change of clothes, some towels so that they could at least rinse themselves, anything could have helped at that very moment. It couldn't be the will of God to let them live such a life, that being if surviving was still an option.

Not a day she had ever complained about anything but she was so tired to felt so out of energies that she couldn't recognize herself anymore if it wasn't for the frequent moments where the children asked for her comfort.

She needed to be strong for her family and was more than willing to, perfectly aware that all of them would always look up to her for guidance, but that strength was quickly vanishing right between her fingers.

Her hands dropped to her knees and she fell on her calves, lowering her face towards the wet grass.

"Maria" a voice accompanied the hand she felt eased above her shoulder.

She hadn't realized how lost in her thoughts she was, nor that her husband was there either. Her prayers had been silent, but he certainly knew what she had been praying for, he could tell by the heavy teardrops that were streaming down her cheeks.

Her head turned towards him, and she felt her cheeks blushing with guilt at showing her innermost feelings to him. She knew she could show him every side of her but not at this moment, now all he and the family needed to know was her most positive and strong side.

"Come here" Georg's arms flung open, ready to welcome her in.

The moment they touched, he felt her body crumble into his, a tight squeezing to his heart knowing that he had put her in such conditions. She had been so capable in hiding her actual situation, fooling everyone that she was the strongest of them all, capable of leading, hiking and comforting for hours on end.

She totally was that. Now he knew that if there had to be a comparison between the family members, she was in the worse conditions. And despite that all she kept looking like the less affected, always so fiercely stubborn about giving instead of receiving.

But now he knew, and he couldn't bear to leave her in such state for another minute.

"We'll have to get ourselves to the foot of the mountain and head to the nearest city. You need food, Maria, and proper sleep"

"It's nothing more than a bit of dizziness ... border cities are much more controlled" her own nature compelled her to reply as her doe eyes stared fearfully into his

"It's dawn darling, there won't be many people around to notice us and if we're quick, we shall be fine" the back of his hand soothed a caress to her cheek.

He was right, she needed those things if she wanted to keep going but deep inside herself, for as much as she hated to admit it, she knew that more than needing them, she craved for those things in a way she didn't know possible.

The descent of the mountain was a relatively easy one. The children were relieved at the idea of not having to face steep paths and the thought of tasting actual food pushed them through. Once they were close to the feet, they even hinted at the jumping and twirling they had done the previous days while singing.

But things weren't as easy for Maria. Having spoken with Georg about them, it seemed as though her conditions were more noticeable than ever.

The pace of her steps was slow and unsteady, her eyes surrounded by brownish circles that worsened her blurred vision and she often felt the need to lean into her husband so that he could provide a more solid support to her weak movements.

Despite that, her smile worked the trick on the children as it had been doing in the past days and they got to street level sooner than expected, the sun hadn't completely risen yet by that time.

It was so odd to see actual streets and buildings again, even the ugly ones seemed stunning under the light of dawn. It was so early that many shops were closed, squares and alleys empty since no school nor work had begun yet.

It was a surreal scenery to see the emptiness of the mountains reflected into that Dornbirn street, normally, it must have been widely crowded even if it was a secondary street.

One more step down and they would definitely leave the mountain and enter the city, Maria's every instinct screaming for them to go back up in the mountains, where safety was assured. But their bodies called for something else, so she did take that last step and held tightly Gretl and Martha's hands into hers the minute her soles felt dry asphalt instead of wet soil.

Bread loaves, cheeses, and some towels, the three most necessary things they needed to get into the quickest time.

Gesturing with her head for the children to follow, Maria began to walk away from her husband, left a few feet behind not to arouse suspicion nor connection with them, as they had planned during the descent.

Getting the first items on the list proved to be quite an easy task, the market venders were preparing their stalls, stuffing the boxes with all sorts of goods – cheeses, fishes, fruits and vegetables of all kinds – her mouth almost began to water at the sight. Her eyes spotted an elderly lady, sitting on a straw chair while adjusting her freshly baked bread into the empty wooden boxes, it seemed to be still lukewarm. She somehow felt she was the appropriate one to refer to, she was too concentrated on her own business to pay attention to the features of her customers.

"Stay close to me" she whispered to the children before they could approach.

At first, the old lady didn't even realize there were people in front of her stall, so Maria had to clear her throat to make her presence known.

"Good morn-"

"It's too early" the woman rudely interrupted, coming back to her activity

"But I'm very hungry!" Gretl's voice piped up.

It seemed to be loud enough to echo between all the surrounding buildings, even if the little girl was cuddled into her mother's side.

"Gre- … Hella!" Maria's eyes widened in terror as she offered her daughter an almost withering gaze.

Thank God she corrected herself in time and used her alias before speaking her real name. A few seconds passed by silently, Maria bound to chew her bottom lip at the fear of having aroused suspicion in the woman but then, surprisingly, Gretl's words seemed to make the trick.

"Your name's Hella, little girl?"

Gretl nodded instantly, regretting she had spoken.

"And you're really hungry?"

The girl kept nodding insistently.

"Then you and your siblings can take all you want, here, this one has just come out of the oven" the lady stretched out a wrinkled hand holding a steaming bread roll that Gretl accepted immediately.

Her smiling eyes then flicked up to her mother, relief crossing her face as smiled her back, grateful for the miracle just happened. The children hurried to gather as much as they could between their arms, maybe even a little too much than needed but they couldn't help it, their hunger was making them believe not even all the bread in the world could be enough.

"Thank you, Frau- ..." the children choired once they were done

"Frau Hoffman" the old lady replied.

Maria's hands pushed the children away from the stall, already too much time had been spent for their plans, but before they could leave, something popped into her mind.

"Frau Hoffman, do you happen to know where I could find some clothes for the children?" she asked. Dornbirn was a new city, and she had no idea where to go

"Oh, my girl, all the stores are closed now! Maybe the only one opened is the materials' supplier store. There, the right door at the other end of the square. The cashier is quite a tough lady, but it mustn't be difficult to soften, not with all these beautiful children".

Maria took the eyes off the store indicated and mouthed a thank you to the old lady, now her only focus was getting the towels they needed.

Five to six.

Georg's eyes fixed on his wristwatch as he waited at the other end of the street, Maria and the children had been away for about seven minutes. It was then that the unmistakable sound of their steps filled his ears and raising his eyes, he spotted the seven of them with filled pockets and busy hands, closely followed by Maria. For a brief while, Kurt even wiggled one of the bread rolls in his hands, as triumphant as they'd just won the first prize at a competition.

Then his eyes looked down again at the feeling that he'd been staring at the children a little too long to be only a stranger to them.

Looking at either side from her position, Maria realized that if she left the children right there, they would have been close enough to Georg not to be out of his sight and at the same time, a hope fluttered into her that Frau Hoffman could have kept an eye on them while she was in the store.

Bringing the seven of them in there was too risky, making them known to the old lady had already been; they couldn't afford to repeat the same mistake twice.

"Wait here, I'll be back as soon as I can" she softly reassured the children, the slight worry in their eyes unmistakably evident.

Her hands brushed a soothing caress on each of their cheeks while her eyes kept taking in all their features, had something wrong happened. Unaware of it, she had had Georg's same reaction.

Then her feet brought her to the entrance of the store whose door was ajar but before entering, she was compelled to do one fundamental thing. Her gaze directed to her husband whose head was bowed down, but it only took a split second before he could feel her eyes on him and raise his own up to hers.

"I love you" Georg mouthed, his eyes smiling as he nodded reassuringly

"I love you too" she echoed blowing him a kiss, her eyes tearful for some reason she couldn't explain.

One last look at the love of her life, one last affectionate look before his eyes could look down at the asphalt again and she could enter the store.

Unsurprisingly, it was totally empty, anyone was there except for the cashier and herself and the air felt so heavy she wished she were invisible. The best thing to do was to go straight to the towels sector, grab the few things she needed and rush away as fast as she could.

Maria gave a quick look around the place, trying to spot what she was looking for and once she did, her head spontaneously ducked and she directed herself right there, under the painstaking eyes of the woman at the cash register.

Six o' clock.

Georg's watch marked the time as he fiddled with his wedding ring, quickly gazing at the children at the other end of the street every now and then. They, instead, seemed to never take their eyes off him, and his attempts to gesture them not to do so revealed quite vain. It had been silly not to tell them before, but at least Liesl would prevent their way too evident behaviour some of the times.

Inside the store, everything was still silent. Maria had finally reached the towels department and was quickly gathering in her hands the ones that seemed larger and more proper for the family's needs.

Then the feeling of being observed oddly increased and her breath began to choke when she heard the sound of footsteps definitely coming into her direction.

"Can I help you?" a female voice spoke from behind her shoulders.

When she turned on her heels, the cashier was right in front of her, arms crossed and statuary, upset looks in her eyes. It almost reminded her of the early times when Georg seemed like nothing but an angry and grumpy disciplinarian.

"You see, I was-"

"Rummaging through merchandise not yet for sale and messing up days of hard work" the woman finished her sentence.

Maria knew better than reply at that very moment, they had already exchanged enough looks for her to remember her features so she needed to quit that conversation as soon as possible.

Five after six.

The children's looks had finally focused on something else than Georg but unfortunately, this something was exactly the store where Maria was and still there was no sign of her coming out of it any time soon.

Yes, there were no windows so it was hard to tell whether she was still looking for the towels or was already paying, but the question kept popping into Georg's mind.

Why was it taking so long?

He too felt eyes on him, grateful that they were the children's. But without any consultation to his mind, his body had begun its physical reaction to his emotional state – one of his hands started to tremble nervously, tickling heat rose from his neck and reddened his cheeks, under his hat the hair began to feel dump from sweating and his eyes stopped to look down, meticulously scanning every inch of the store door.

Knowing that it was just the cashier, Maria didn't experience the feeling of being observed no more, and instead focused all her attentions on carrying out the purchase as soon as possible.

After the few words exchanged, the store had fallen silent again with an air that was still and tense indeed, but that didn't pressure her as it had done before.

"This one seems to be it" the woman in the store spoke again, holding one of the larger towels between her hands.

Yet there was something in her words, in her gaze, it was not exactly focused on Maria but somewhere else behind her, maybe another customer was entering she thought.

But then a hand covered her mouth,

a strong arm caught her from the stomach, pressing her tightly against him

her every move was suddenly stopped.

She tried to struggle at first, only to discover that she was trapped into the man's strong grip and moving could have only hurt her further.

She couldn't care less.

She kept struggling, withering her body in every direction but the fuel left into her body was too little, it was easily overwhelmed by the muscular limbs that surrounded her and she found herself being tugged and yanked out the back door of the store, despite her vain attempts at biting the hand pressed against her mouth.

Twelve after six.

Unaware of the terrifying events hidden from his eyes through a mere wall of bricks, Georg kept his gaze unblinking on the door, his hands curled into familiarly strong fists despite the sweat running down his forehead that needed to be wiped. He couldn't allow himself to look at the children, he had to watch that door and never leave it.

Why was he worrying so much? After all, the last time he had been worried to death about her but nothing had happened, why would it have now?

Well, there were all possible reasons.

Maybe because the first time they were in desert mountains and not in a border city,

Maybe because the first time the place was abandoned and not a functioning building,

Maybe because the first time there was no one able to recognize his face and not a whole army waiting for nothing but him,

Maybe because the first time he could freely react while now each of his actions could have been a threat.

A quarter after six.

God, was time playing a joke against him?

The answer arrived when a car, coming from the parallel of their position, pulled into the main road.

It wasn't the dusty black polishing to attract him, not even its speed or the swastikas it proudly displayed on. It was a face.

Blue iris eyes surrounded by red, swollen lids, a deluge of tears rushed down her cheeks, her face flattened against the glass.

Maria.

"Maria!" his thoughts came out as a loud scream that attracted the children's attention, now aware of what he had seen.

But he couldn't control it, he just couldn't.

In no time, his long legs were speeding through the street, his bust leant forward as much as possible as he desperately tried to reach them.

Georg!, he saw her mouthing now that the rear window of the car was in better focus, but then a lurid hand covered her mouth again with atrocious ferocity.

She had probably screamed his name inside the car, but he couldn't hear her voice, nor he could see her anymore.

All he could hear was a roaring engine, all he could see was a far black dot with a terrified star inside, speeding through the streets, racing off even faster as his legs gave in.

Georg dropped to his knees, as if a bullet had shot him straight through his heart.

Maria was gone.

Author's Note: This was one heartbreaking chapter for me to write, the story will take on a few more aspects from now on and I can't wait to share what's next with you. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter and would be very appreciative of your reviews. See you all next week!