XXX:

Tuesday saw SVU dragged into a child-related case that didn't pull to a semi-satisfactory close – or at least an arraignment in court – until Friday morning, so Liv was a bit haggard and ragged when Amanda planted herself at her desk. "Hey, so… the thing tonight."

"What thing tonight?" Liv muttered, signing paperwork and moving on to what seemed like the millionth file.

"The Police Foundation Gala. Big fucking deal, happens once a year, everyone goes –"

Liv looked up, blinked once, then twice, then hissed, "FUCK."

"You want me to make sure Lucy's staying the night?" Rollins said.

"I don't have a dress. I don't – Amanda – shit." Liv looked around in blind panic, finally finding her phone and grabbing it. She called Rafael and waited for him to pick up.

"Mi amor, I'm about to head home to change –"

"Rafa, I –"

"Hey," he said softly. "You've had a long week. I took care of everything. Lucy had plans so Mami is coming over to sit with Noah and Abuelita."

She hesitated, then muttered, "I don't have a dress."

There was a pause, then he mumbled, "Rollins has your outfit and makeup there. She and Carmen conspired to make sure you were ready for the thing. I know it's been a hell of a week and it's too much to ask with traffic the way it is to get home and then to the hotel for the gala, so just meet me there, okay?"

"Rafael –"

"I have so much I want to say, Liv, but the phone isn't where I want to say it," he said softly. "I'll see you soon." And then there was dead air.

She got ready with Amanda's help – and, at the same time, Rollins got ready herself – all the while fretting about what Rafael could possibly want to talk so much about. The rumors couldn't possibly be true, could they? Could he really be having an affair? She was nearly numb by the time Amanda pronounced her ready and she looked at herself.

Her dress was a simple black pencil dress with a boatneck collar and long sleeves that hugged every single curve but covered all of her scars. Her heels were three inches high and rhinestone crusted, catching the light as she walked, and her necklace was the simple diamond solitaire pendant he had given her for Christmas. She left her hair down and semi-wavy as it had been for most of the day, but Rollins had gone for a simple naked eye with a taupe eyeliner and light mascara and dramatic wine-red lips. On the other hand, Amanda was all kinds of glitz and over the top, and joked more than once about needing all the help she could get to attract a man.

They took a taxi over to the hotel and weren't even surprised to find that the ballroom was packed by the time they got there. Rollins waved down Fin and Amaro, who were talking to some people from Vice and Queens SVU, and Liv followed her.

"Hey, I don't suppose you've seen Barba," Rollins drawled, snagging two glasses of champagne before Liv could even blink, passing one off to her.

"He was off toward the main stage," Amaro said dismissively. "With the Mayor's people and some reporters. But he wasn't looking too happy and looked like he was trying to escape."

"Probably was," Fin muttered.

"Well, I heard –"

"You shouldn't repeat everything you hear," Rollins snapped. "What's your name?"

"Carisi. Dominick Carisi. Queens SVU, but I'm transferring to Manhattan SVU next week –"

Rollins smiled ferally. "Get this straight, Carisi – whatever you heard about Barba is bullshit. You know how I know?" She propelled Liv forward two steps. "This is Barba's wife. His wife. And if he steps out on her, she'll shoot him."

Carisi gulped and said, "Ah, I didn't – wait, aren't you Benson, Sergeant Benson who was held hostage by William Lewis and –"

Liv tensed and Fin clapped Carisi on the shoulder. "Kid, we don't talk about that," he warned. "Ever." He glanced at Liv. "He rode with Barba and me – good egg," he said in a slow, even tone. "His report was clean."

She hesitated a moment, then nodded. "Well, then, Carisi, welcome to the squad. You'll fit right in – Fin's already taken you under his wing, so…"

"Aw, shit, Liv," Fin muttered.

She cocked her head and gave him a warning glance. "You think Murphy's going to keep you with Manda?" she shot back. "He'll put you or me with Carisi, and since I'm in the hot seat more often than not lately, it'll be you."

Amanda chuckled. "Hey, I think I see your man over there schmoozing."

Liv followed Rollins' gaze and bit her lip when she caught sight of Rafael; he was resplendent in his tuxedo and brilliant smile, laughing and holding a partial glass of champagne, looking like he belonged there. "He looks good," she said.

Rollins glared at her and nudged her. "Benson, you look better," she hissed. "GO."

Olivia sighed and headed across the room, pausing only when Jack McCoy grabbed her by the arm and said, "Good of you to come, Sergeant – you've had a rough go of it the last couple of months and I want to personally express my thanks for helping to break in Frankie Lawson."

Liv forced a wan smile. "She's a good ADA. I'm glad Rafael assigned her to SVU – she's a good fit to take over for him."

"It took a little bit of convincing her, but you two work well together," McCoy said. "Now…"

"I'm sorry, Mr. McCoy, I don't mean to be impolite, but I was just on my way over to say hello to my husband – we haven't seen each other since Sunday, except in passing and once at the courthouse between depositions," Liv said. "It's been a… difficult week."

"Oh, of course – let me walk you over," McCoy said with a smile. "You know, he's a real asset to the office – definitely going to win DA when I retire, if he decides to run. He seduces every woman he meets, you know: that Barba charm is infectious."

Her smile remained frozen on her lips. "I'm fully aware, Mr. McCoy, of just how dangerous Rafael's charm can be," Liv said.

"Brian!" McCoy called out. "I want you to meet Olivia Benson – she's the Sergeant at Manhattan SVU."

"Oh, the pain in your ass," the Mayor – Brian Jones – said with a deep chuckle. "I feel like I already know you by reputation alone, Ms. Benson."

Rafael held back what looked to be a sharp retort, while Olivia merely smiled tightly and said, "Well, whatever gets the job done, Mr. Mayor. I'm afraid that the nature of my job doesn't leave a lot of time for the politic – I leave that to those who are much better at it than I am. Like Mr. Barba."

"Liv, have you met Deputy Mayor Braga?" Rafael said, gesturing to the tall Latina woman in a black sequined gown that looked like she'd stepped out of a fashion plate.

"No, Barba, I haven't had that pleasure," Liv said quietly.

"Constance's pet project is harassing the city council about the rape kit backlog and domestic violence shelters," he said. "And having my office help with the legalese to keep her office in the clear while she does it. She also likes to put Albany on blast and not print retractions. So there's that."

"It isn't really your job to help with that, is it?" Liv inquired.

"It is if it affects the cases we have in the courts," McCoy said with a sigh. "It's been a trying year."

She pursed her lips together and nodded. "I see."

"Ultimately, it's all for the best," Braga said with a cheerful smile.

"People argue that all the time," Liv said, "and it's very rarely true. I'm sorry, will you excuse me for a moment? I didn't have time to stop at home on my way in and I'd like to check and make sure my son is all right." She ignored the pointed looks and headed to a semi-quiet portion of the ballroom to call Lucia, only to be assured that Noah was perfectly okay and he was enjoying a cuddle in the rocking chair before bed. She hung up the phone and turned around, only to almost collide with Connie Braga. "I'm sorry, I didn't –"

"He has been so excited to introduce you to me," Braga said, her accented voice thick with veiled disappointment. "I see the pictures on his desk of his wife and his son, and how proud he is when he talks about you both – Olivia and Noah, his pride and joy – and how he'd give up any of this just to make you happy."

"I don't need to be lectured –"

"No, but you need to hear this," Braga said firmly. "He could have said no to this, the extra work from McCoy, and farmed it out to another ADA – but he took it on because we went to X259 H.E.R.O. six years apart and we come from nothing and we both want to make a difference and he loves you, Benson. It isn't a legacy, it's being the change in the world that you want to see. I've heard the rumors and seen the gossip columns and the insinuations behind closed doors, and let me assure you that there is nothing between us but a mutual childhood in the Bronx and a working friendship, Olivia. Rafael Barba is a good man – a good man with eyes only for his wife." She smiled and gestured at Olivia. "I mean, look at you."

Olivia frowned. "What do you mean? You're the one who looks like a goddess."

"I have people to truss me up like a Thanksgiving turkey and make me look like this," Braga muttered.

"I had help," Liv admitted.

"Well, they were absolutely bang on because you look like a fucking movie star," Braga said. "And he can't keep his eyes off you for more than a second. Just… you know what? We shouldn't be enemies because some idiot reporter thought we were standing too close at the nut cart near Centre Street. I was hungry, Barba was hungry, traffic was loud, paparazzi are idiots."

Liv hesitated for a moment then said, "What you're trying to push through the city council as far as the rape kit backlog won't track with the current language because it wouldn't pass in Albany with the stronger language. I'm surprised Rafa didn't tell you that."

"He did: I just thought that taking my chances might –"

"It won't. Just because the council is decidedly more liberal at the moment doesn't mean it will pass with the more conservative religious elements." Liv smiled with a tinge of regret. "If you soften the language, make it more palatable, you have a better chance of shoving it through with the higher numbers."

"I'll take it under advisement and run it by my people," Braga said with a small smile. "You know they're giving you a special honor tonight, right?"

Liv paused, blinked. "No. I had no idea. What if I hadn't been here – been out on a case or – "

"No what ifs," Braga said. "Just think about what you intend to say when you get up on the stage because if it's word salad, they'll eat you alive." She reached out to gently touch Olivia's arm. "He's upset. He won't say anything, but he is."

Liv looked over to where Rafael was deep in conversation with McCoy and the Mayor and could tell from his posture and his stiffness that he was frustrated. "I know," she said.

"Fix it," Braga advised. "No one needs a broken Barba – especially you and that little boy of yours."

"I think I broke him," Liv said very quietly, her voice cracking on the admission.

"Then get the super glue and duct tape – ain' nuthin' can' be fixed," Braga muttered. "Now, introduce me to your SVU squad, Sergeant Benson."

It wasn't that she was uncomfortable watching Fin flirt with Connie Braga, really, but when it was so obviously blatant, it was really a little disgusting. She took the first chance she could to slip away and tried to find Rafael, but kept getting waylaid by everyone who wanted to say hello and do small talk and big talk and political talk and – finally, she ended up texting her husband: WHERE ARE YOU?

Just as they were beginning to launch into the honors for the night, Rafael's warm hand fell against the small of her back. "I'm sorry, there was a situation," he whispered against the shell of her ear. "The rest of your squad had to head out and I signed off on paperwork for ten warrants to go before Judge Brewster in a child pornography ring that Vice and Computer Crimes just cracked. The Feds are about to swoop in but we've got minor players to reel in while they take the big fish."

"Sidebar?" she hissed.

"Yeah."

"You're going to keep me here to play politics while –"

He smirked at her. "Diversion, mi amor."

"I'll diversion you."

He chuckled low in his throat and pressed a kiss to her temple. "As always, you are the most beautiful woman in the room," he breathed just loudly enough she could hear him over the Commissioner and the Mayor.

She leaned into his touch and muttered, "Carmen picked a good dress."

"It isn't the dress. Or the makeup."

"Our next commendation of the evening is to honor an NYPD veteran with more than two decades of service who started as a beat cop in the Bronx and did a short tour in Vice before landing in the elite SVU squad in Manhattan," the Commissioner said, snapping her attention back to the stage. She felt Rafael's hand tense against her spine as she reacted to the words and she tried to tune back in. "Sergeant Olivia Benson has been a staple in Sex Crimes, advocating for legislative changes, better treatment of victims during processing and statements, and with her persistence and perseverance, the city of New York has become a better place. Ms. Benson, will you please come up to the stage?"

She hesitated for a moment, then headed up quickly, hoping it would be over sooner if she did. She was glad, suddenly, of the warning from Braga earlier, because she knew what she wanted to say. She stopped in front of the Commissioner and saluted. "Sir," she said.

"Sergeant Benson, on behalf of the NYPD and the City of New York, I would like to present you with the Community Service Commendation," the Commissioner said, presenting her with the ribbon on a small pillow and a handshake. "Congratulations – I expect we will see many more commendations from you in future, seeing as how your jacket is heaving with them. Do you have anything you would like to say?"

Olivia nodded and said, "Yes, sir, if I may." She accepted the microphone and hesitated for a moment before she found Rafael in the crowd and smiled. "When I joined SVU, it was still finding its feet. Advocacy for victims of sexual crimes and violence wasn't something that was normalized until recently, and I'm proud to be a part of that change in thinking and handling of traumatic issues. I have to give credit to my squadmates, who are in the trenches with me every day, and my husband – who comes home and holds me when I can't deal with any more of it – and our son, who loves us unconditionally, because if I didn't have them, I would have given up a long time ago. It's a thankless job and someone has to do it, but to what end? So I thank them for being my anchor so I can keep fighting the good fight." She handed him the mic again, saluted once more, and stepped off the stage to stunned silence, then sudden, raucous applause.

Rafael met her on the steps of the stage, throwing his arms around her in an uncharacteristic display of public emotion. "Mi amor," he rasped, his voice choked with tears, "that wasn't politic."

"Screw politics," she shot back, accepting his tender kiss as he cupped her face in his hands. "Hey," she whispered, "make your apologies and meet me in the corridor in ten minutes."

He quirked an eyebrow and tried – unsuccessfully – to hide a smile. "Seriously?"

She smirked and pulled him down the last few steps into the crowd. "You're the important one," she teased. "I probably ought to go back to the office –"

"We're both going," he said firmly.

"You sound awfully sure of yourself," she murmured. She kissed him one last time and headed toward the ballroom exit with her phone in hand, checking the status report from Fin. Ten minutes later, in a move reminiscent of so many years ago, she was reaching out to catch him as he walked by the alcove she was hiding in. "Hey," Liv whispered. "They've got 10 people in interrogation now. We'll need to check in – three have lawyered up so far."

"Mmm," he said.

"But that's a mess for later," she added cheerfully. "Come on."

Rafael chuckled in amusement. "Where are you taking me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She gave him a dirty look and dragged him into the ladies' room, shoving him into an empty stall and locking the door. "We've been here before."

"The men's room," he countered.

She pursed her lips together. "Semantics."

"Liv –"

"We haven't been on the same page for a while," she said softly, "and it's my fault, I think. You've had the extra work and I've had weird shifts and –"

He sighed. "Most of the city thinks I'm having an affair. I'm pretty sure you do, too, so just go ahead and ask the question –"

"I don't need to."

"Don't you?" he shot back.

"Rafi, I –" She stared into his eyes, unblinking, unwilling to break the intense contact between them.

His hand fell heavy on her hip, his thumb caressing circles against her abdomen. "Even when we aren't on the same page, you are the reason I get up in the morning, Olivia - tan pronto como pudiera tener una aventura amorosa, me cortaría el brazo." Rafael's voice had lowered to a deep rasp, and she found herself leaning into his touch.

"I don't know how to deal with other people thinking you're… you," she admitted. "You're sexy and charming and so handsome and – "

"Mi vida," he said, his lips quirking up into a little grin, "you remember the first time we had dinner together?"

She nodded. "Of course."

"You were drinking a beer –"

"I remember you kept asking if I was sure I should drink the beer," she chuckled.

He rolled his eyes and huffed, his smile turning indulgent. "Okay, okay – right, yeah, I did. But my point is that you made this noise when you were drinking the thing and I vividly remember thinking that if you ever made that noise during sex that I would move heaven and earth to keep you the rest of my life because you were going to drive me stark raving crazy."

She hummed lightly and murmured, "Do I make that noise during sex?"

He flushed deeply. "Mi amor, you make that noise constantly," Rafael admitted. "It's all I can do not to drag you off to a private room somewhere and act like a dirty old man all the time. How could I possibly want another woman when my head and my heart are so wrapped up in wanting my wife?"

The dam burst: they met each other for a fierce, hungry kiss that left no room for breath. His hands wandered over her thigh, lower, tugging her skirt higher, and caressed her waist. Her hands fell between them to fumble with his clothes, greedily grasping for what she wanted. In an echo of years before, the sex was quick and very nearly violent in the confined space, neither willing to wait the time it took to get home and be comfortable to reconnect.

And it wasn't until they were coming down from their mutual highs, foreheads pressed together, panting heavily, that Rafael muttered, "You think I'm sexy?"

"Rafael Barba, I wouldn't fuck you in public if I couldn't resist your irresistible sexiness," she admitted on a breathless whisper. "¿Entiéndeme?"

"Querido Dios, estoy tan enamorada de ti." It was said with such reverent awe that she kissed him lightly and smiled. "I – we – we should have date night," he said, beginning to try to pull himself together and get dressed. Though, god knew everyone would take one look at his dazed face and figure out that they'd been up to absolutely no good. "And sex. Sex as often as we feel up to it."

Liv smiled and said, "I think that's a good idea, yes."

"This doesn't count," he said. "It was barely sex."

"It was?" she said, raising an brow.

"I want to make love to my wife in our bed and do whatever she wants," he said in a firm tone, carefully zipping his trousers. "And barring that, I want to eat her out until my face is numb."

"Rafa!" she breathed as he took her hand and brought her close for a kiss that left her weak in the knees again.

"We have to get back to the office," he said softly. "Or at least the 1-6."

"You look like you've been –"

"And you look perfect," he said with a smirk, tousling her hair to mess it up. "Better we both look like we've been fucked than the alternative, eh?"

"Mmm," she agreed.

"I'm yours, Benson," Rafael said softly. "Body, heart, and soul." He pressed their linked fingers over his heart and smiled just a little. "Have been from the moment we met."

This time when they left the hotel, they did it together, and there was no shame in their game. They had nothing to hide – they were married, partners in every sense of the word. And if she was a little bit ashamed of herself for having dug her nails into his ass so he shifted uncomfortably every couple of minutes in the cab, she told herself that it was his own damn fault for letting her think that it was even possible that he had been fucking someone else. At least he wasn't bleeding, just uncomfortable.

TBC...