Pope and Kiara stayed a couple of hours. Kiara managed to conjure up some snacks from the poor selection of supplies I had in my fridge, which JJ was in dire need of to soak up all the beer he'd drunk. Then the pair of them left us, after making JJ promise to get rid of me early in the morning so the three of them could get on with setting up my party.

Suddenly, I had no idea what to say to JJ. Things were different now. Just a few hours ago, we had been the best friends we'd been practically all our lives. Now, we each knew that the other had different feelings than just friendship. It was exciting and scary. He no longer seemed like just my best buddy, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it.

"I, um, I'm gonna crash." JJ stood dripping in the kitchen, stifling a yawn with his fist. He avoided looking at me and I assumed he was having the same feelings I was. The same uncertainty. "You want me to sleep on the couch?" he added.

"No, you're not a couch-surfer anymore." I smiled. "You can have my dad's old room."

His eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Just get dry before you get in the bed, okay?"

"Right. Yeah. Of course." He backed away, then turned and disappeared into the bathroom.

I slipped into my dad's room and checked the bed was made up, even though I knew it was. I'd kept it neat with fresh, clean sheets for two years, hoping someday, somehow, he would come back. There had been a memorial for him, but his body had never been found, so I hadn't given up even though everyone else had. I left the room again and hovered until JJ came out of the bathroom.

"Bed's made up," I grunted.

"Thanks, JB." He gave me a wan smile and went to bed.

I lay awake in my room for a long time. The house was silent, the only sound coming through my open window from the distant ripple of water as a brisk breeze touched it, and the gentle bumping of the Pogue against the little jetty at the back of the Chateau.

I thought about JJ. I couldn't think about anything else. Where would we go from here? What would we do differently? Would it still be the same when we hung out, and went surfing and fishing? Would it be more than that? Would I hold his hand or kiss him when we were doing those things?

I scrubbed my hands over my face. Would we go on actual dates? My face warmed. If I was completely honest with myself, I could not, in a million years, imagine myself on a date with JJ. I'd only really gone on proper dates with Sarah—drives out in the Twinkie for a picnic at some scenic spot; trips to the mainland to go out for dinner, or walk in the park, or go to a museum. I couldn't imagine doing any of that with JJ, and I doubted he would want to. What would two guys do on a date? I supposed we could go out on the Pogue fishing without Kiara and Pope, and take food and beer, which was what we always did anyway. What would be different? I groaned. Maybe I could just ask him what he wanted to do, assuming he had a better idea than me, which was unlikely.

Eventually, I must have fallen asleep. I was in a dream, and on this occasion, I was able to tell it was a dream while I was in it. I stood in JJ's yard, watching his father beat him on the porch, and I tried to run to him. I clawed and punched at the air, but it was thick and heavy, holding me back. I couldn't get to him, and he was screaming, sobbing, begging me to help him. Wake up, I told myself. It's not real.

"Help me!"

I hurtled out of sleep and sat up in bed. The scream was so loud it couldn't have been part of the dream. I shrugged away the remnants of the nightmare and listened.

"Stop! No! Let me go!" JJ cried.

"Fuck!" I threw myself out of bed and stumbled, legs tangled in the sheet, as I charged towards the door. I managed to kick the sheet away as I yanked open the door and I shot down the hallway to my dad's—to JJ's—room. I could hear him, moaning and whimpering like a wounded animal. I opened the door and rushed in, finding him thrashing and struggling against the bed covers. "JJ!" In a second, I was kneeling on the side of the bed, shaking him. "JJ, wake up!"

A fist connected with my nose, and I let go of him, falling back on the bed, stunned. I tasted copper and dabbed at my bloody nose with the back of my hand.

"Help me!" JJ howled, and I realised he was still trapped in the nightmare and wouldn't even know he'd hit me.

"JJ!" I shouted, grabbing at his flailing arms. I managed to catch his wrists before he did any more damage, and his eyes flew open, wide and scared. He looked at me as if he didn't know who I was.

"JJ, it's me, John B. It's just me. You're okay."

"JB?" His eyes focussed on my face.

I released his wrists, and wrapped my arms around him, forgetting that it would probably be the last thing he wanted. He braced his hands against my chest.

"It's just me," I said. "I won't hurt you. I won't hurt one hair on your head."

He hugged me back. Just like that, the tension went out of him, and he hugged me tight enough to almost squeeze the breath out of me. He breathed fast, fanning my neck with warm air, his body trembling. I held him close with one arm and quickly groped for the box of tissues beside the bed, to stem the blood seeping from my nose. JJ loosened his grip on me and pulled his head back.

"What the hell happened to you?" Instantly, his attention switched from the aftermath of his bad dream to me.

"Nothing, it's okay."

"You're bleeding."

"It's just a nosebleed, it's nothing."

"I did that, didn't I?" he groaned. "I'm so sorry. I was dreaming those guys had hold of me. It was worse than what really happened. I couldn't get away." He shuddered.

"It's okay," I repeated. "Look, it's stopped." I wiped a fresh tissue under my nose and only a small smear of blood stained it. "JJ, you would tell me if anything else happened, right? I mean other than what you said yesterday."

"Yeah. It didn't, though."

"Thank, God." Reluctantly, I let go of him. "Do you want anything?"

"Uh, no. I gotta go to the bathroom." He threw the bed covers aside and got up slowly. He was wearing a pair of my board shorts. He slipped away to the bathroom, and I stood up and paced, not knowing whether to wait, or go back to my room. In a couple of minutes, he came back and got in the bed. "It's too early to get up. I need sleep."

"Are you gonna be okay?" I worried.

"Uh, can you—?" He avoided looking at me. "Can you stay?"

"Of course I can." I pulled the curtains closed, then got in the bed beside him. My dad's old bed was a king, and there was plenty of room for us to stretch out if we wanted. But JJ crawled as close to me as he could get without actually lying on top of me and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Don't go," he whispered.

"I'm not going. I'm right here." Hesitantly, I lifted my arm to lay it around him. I still expected him to flinch, or stiffen, the way he had in the hot tub, but instead, he sighed with what seemed like relief, and closed his eyes. I closed mine, too.

"Wakey wakey!"

I forced my eyelids up and squinted in the bright light flooding the room. The curtains were open again and the sun blazed in. JJ sat on the edge of the bed holding two steaming mugs of black coffee. His hair was wet from the shower, and he wore one of my t-shirts and another pair of my shorts. He looked better. Even the swelling around the cut under his eye had gone down.

I yawned. "Hey."

"Hell, JB, you looked like you went a couple of rounds with Mike Tyson. Or, um, JJ Maybank. Fuck, I'm sorry." He shook his head.

"Never mind that." I hauled myself up and took one of the coffees. A quick glance in the small mirror on the bedside table showed my puffy nose with dry smears of blood around it, and the hint of purple bruising at the inner corners of both eyes. "Don't worry about it." I put the mirror back down and sipped my coffee, grimacing at the bitterness.

"There's hardly any milk and it's gone off," JJ explained.

"Right. How are you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess. Until I have to go back."

"Weren't you listening to me yesterday?" I reached for his free hand with mine and gripped it firmly. "You're eighteen. So am I, now. You don't ever have to go back, except maybe to get your stuff, and you won't have to do that alone."

JJ smiled a little. "I was kind of hoping that's what you said, but a lot of last night is fuzzy. I drank a lot. I wasn't sure if I imagined you saying I could stay."

"You didn't."

He groaned suddenly. "Shit, it's your birthday."

I grinned. "We've had more important things to worry about than me turning into an adult."

"Even so. Happy birthday. I got you a present, but I left it behind. I'm sorry." He leaned over suddenly and kissed my cheek. When he pulled back, his face was flushed, and he avoided my eyes.

"JJ, stop being sorry for everything. You don't have anything to apologise to me for. Look, I have to get out of here soon, don't I? Otherwise Kie will have my guts for not getting out of the way so you can all plan my party. I thought I'd just go out fishing on the Pogue, unless you need her?"

He shook his head. "No, I just wish I could go with you, but it'll be my guts Kie'll have if I leave her and Pope with all the work."

"Okay." I finished my coffee and went to take a shower. I put on some clean clothes and found JJ in the kitchen, making toast with the remains of a loaf of bread so dry that the edges of each slice were curling. At least it wasn't mouldy.

"It's dry, but what the hell. It gets drier in the toaster, right?" JJ grinned and began slathering peanut butter on the first slice. "Kie's bringing supplies. Good thing, because it's slim pickings here. Don't you buy groceries, JB?"

"Yeah, and they'd last longer if you guys didn't eat me out of house and home all the time." I snatched the slice of toast from him.

"Hey!"

"What? Birthday boy gets the first piece. This'll do me." I grabbed the keys to the Pogue. "You sure you're gonna be okay?"

"I'm fine." He gave me that too-bright smile and ran a hand through his hair.

"You're a liar." I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed, then quickly leaned closer and brushed my lips against his cheek. His lips pulled up a little at the corners. I backed away and picked up my phone. "Let me know when to come back." Reluctantly, I dragged myself away. As I climbed aboard the Pogue, I heard Kiara's car pull up at the other side of the Chateau. A couple of minutes later, I headed out towards the marshes.