Chapter 9

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Saskia was a peaceful woman…

And her fighting another woman did not change that.

She was hot, sweating, and aching, and she felt alive as she drew back her gloved fists and swung it into the opposite woman's face. She dodged before it reached her, sending a punch back to Saskia which she had to also dodge.

With a kick to her ribs, the other woman lost her breath and quickly tapped out for the moment.

"You good, Harumi?"

"Yeah," The Korean woman heaved her words out. "You've got a wicked round kick, girl. Even without shoes."

"I walked a lot as a kid, and then did Karate for two years. My round kicks were the best but my punches needed work," Saskia said, quickly undoing the black and green gloves to reveal the black hand wraps on both her hands and wrists. They matched the ones she had around her ankles and feet. Protection.

"I doubt those claws you call nails helped," Harumi humoured, taking off her own gloves to grab a water bottle. "You still hold off with your punches, Saskia. You need to send them out fully or you'll hurt your shoulder, especially with your left one."

"I know, I know," Saskia sat on the bench with Harumi. Her hair was tightly braided into two dutch braids, while Harumi had her black hair extra short and so just gelled it back.

They both were sweating in the gym room. There were two main areas in this gym, a working out area that used machinery for strength and cardio, and a clear area where many other duos and singles were practising moves.

Countess just laid to the side of the bench, dozing off as she watched the two women.

Saskia had gone to a self-defence class a few months back and met Harumi who introduced her to cage fighting and later on, Taekwondo styled fighting. It was an amazing workout and kept Saskia toned when she spent most of her day sitting down at the table or laying in bed.

She crossed her ankles, her legs only clad in a pair of tight shorts with a plain sports bra covering her top. It was too hot to wear anything more than that, even if it was nearing the middle of November.

"Want to go again?"

"Hell yeah!"

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Saskia swore, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Her mother and youngest sister stood at the front door.

"Don't speak to us like that!" The sister said, sneering a little as Saskia rolled her eyes.

"I will speak to you how ever I fucking like, Evelott," Saskia spat. "I'll ask again, what are you doing here? You don't visit me."

"Well, we thought it was a good time for a change, especially with everything. Leroy told us all about it. Who didn't you tell us you were Syn? Stupid name by the way," Evelott waved her hand dismissively. Saskia gritted her teeth. "We tried to go to your house but it was bordered up. What is that about? Oh…"

Hannibal came to stand by Saskia's side, a pleasant but strained smile on his lips. "Saskia, who's at the door?"

"Don't worry, they're leaving," Her glare was strong but her mother just brushed it off.

"Don't be rude, introduce us,"

"Rude?" Saskia ran her tongue against her teeth before gritting them into a fake smile for her mother. "Rude is when you come to supposedly 'visit' me when you know I don't like visits. It's been almost seven years since I went travelling and the only time I came back was when I was getting all my stuff for America. If I wanted to contact you, I would have but I didn't. So take a hint and leave me alone."

She closed the door on them, grinding her teeth in anger until her jaw popped a little. She paced as she flexed her hands, trying to contain her anger. Countess pawed at her leg as Saskia walked into the living room area, digging her nails into her palm just a little.

"You need to take a breath before you have a panic attack," Hannibal said.

"I'm not gonna have a panic attack," Saskia retorted but he wasn't convinced as Saskia looked ready to snap something in half.

"Your heartbeat is erratic."

"I'm agitated and angry, and I want to punch something," She gestured offhandedly to the door. "Leroy fucking contacted them to torture me. He knows I don't like my family nor do I get along with them."

"Should we tell Jack?"

"Yes. The sooner they leave, the better. Leroy will try and get to me through them."

Saskia knew Leroy would try. Since Saskia was always surrounded by people, and not taking her runs in the forest anymore, she was a harder target to get alone. By having her mother in the same place as her, he could torture her without lifting a finger.

It was a sneaky move. Sneaky but clever.

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"I've got the name of the hotel where your mother and sister are staying, Saskia," Jack said as she nodded. "I've got officers placed outside the hotel and the room is bugged so we'd know if Leroy tries to call them by calling the hotel number. They'll be safe. Don't worry."

Saskia didn't worry, it was something that she didn't like to do. But something clawed at her stomach, telling her something bad was going to happen.

"When did your mother get here?" Will asked as they exited Jack's office.

"She got here yesterday and refuses to fucking leave me alone," Saskia said through her teeth. "She made reservations for us at a four-star restaurant, knowing that I don't want to see or speak to her but Hannibal convinced me I needed to see them and tell them to be careful."

"When you go, keep your gun on you," He said, nodding to an agent when they passed them. "Even with no sight of Harris for a few weeks, you shouldn't risk it."

"I'll holster it when I leave the building. Security took it off me when I came in,"

"Why?"

"I'm not an FBI agent, even if I am helping you with the case,"

"Right."

The security agent went into the back and got her gun from the locked area. The magazine had been taken out and put to the side so Saskia had to shove it back in. The agent carefully watched her as she did it, his eyes on the safety to make sure. He nodded her out as soon as she put the gun in the underarm holster and concealed it with her brown jacket.

"Thanks," She nodded before going fully out of the building and going straight to the restaurant.

The restaurant was fairly fancy with everyone wearing some sort of cocktail dress or suit. And here was Saskia in high heeled boots, jeans, and a warm brown leather jacket with a light brown shirt. She was underdressed but did she give a shit?

No.

She strutted into the place as Countess followed behind her, and walked straight to the front where you checked in.

"Usual table, Miss Alasite?" The black-haired woman said after looking at Saskia for a moment, quickly grabbing a menu from the side.

"Not today, Miss Jin," Saskia smiled sadly at the Asian woman. "I've got dinner with my mother this evening, and I don't even want to be here."

"I can tell," Harumi Jin winked. "You look ready to hurt someone."

"Oh, I am. Just waiting for the gym later tonight, are you going?"

"Yeah, after Mama forces a few protein shakes down my throat," She tapped at the tablet in front of her, "Name of the party?"

"McCall, three seats,"

"We've got one for four seats. Did your mother have short, grey-blonde hair and a forced grinned?"

"Yep,"

"Looks like they came in about ten minutes ago. Two women and a man, elderly, about late seventies."

Saskia let out a huge breath of relief. "Thank the fucking gods. He'll be my stepdad then. Thank fuck. This night might actually end well."

"Come on, they're upstairs. Kevin put them by the tank," Harumi said, quickly rounding the desk and allowing Saskka to follow her up the stairs to the side.

"Saskia," Her stepdad greeted, standing up quickly as he gave her a half hug.

"Good to see you, Scott," Saskia pecked him on the cheek as they sat down. Countess quickly ducked over the chair legs, curling her body so she was around Saskia's feet but far away enough from the other women of the family.

"Has everyone ordered? Harumi asked.

"We have, just not Saskia," Scott said quickly.

"I'll have my usual, thanks."

Harumi nodded before placing a hand on her shoulder for but a moment, walking away.

"You have a usual here?" Evelott whispered loudly, almost shocked.

"Yeah," Saskia said. "It's a nice place with good food."

"If it's such a nice place, why don't you take your jacket off? Scott, isn't it rude to keep an outside jacket inside?"

"Seriously? Fine," Saskia stood up as she shrugged the jacket off, leaving her in her shirt, underarm holster and gun revealed. "Better?"

"Why the fuck do you have a gun?!" Mother almost screamed.

"Because my life is in danger, Mother," Saskia said as the waiters brought out the food to their table. "Thank you."

"Are guns even allowed in here?" Scott asked.

"Yes, as long as they remain holstered throughout the stay," Harumi filled their glasses with white wine but left Saskia's. "And only with concealed permits."

"I doubt mutts are allowed,"

"Not usually but Countess, and any other ESA or Guide dog, is an exception," Harumi said, smiling once at Countess before leaving.

All four of them began to eat their food. Scott had ordered a medium-rare steak as did her mother, Evelott had potatoes with different types of veg and a chicken wing. Saskia ordered a tofu dish that was very similar to a Chinese dish she often had as a child.

"So you're turning thirty-three soon," Scott prompted the conversation.

"In four days, yeah," Saskia nodded.

"Have you anything planned?"

"There'll be a small dinner, myself, Hannibal, Will, my psychiatrist Alana, Jack and his wife, and Abigail,"

Her mother huffed lightly, "Aren't we invited?"

"No, why would you think that?"

"We're your family, Saski,"

"My name is Saskia, not Saski," She put her utensils down. "I left home years ago seven years ago, and you didn't even bother to try to contact me within those seven years. So no, I don't consider you family anymore, Mum. Do you realise that Leroy Harris is a wanted criminal?"

"All of that shit is false, Saskia, you should know, it's America after all,"

"Yeah, false, yeah," Saskia unbuttoned the collar of her shirt, pulling it down to show off the almost healed scar on her shoulder. "Yeah, him stabbing me is false, and me almost dying on the operating table is false too."

"If that was true," Her mother turned up her nose as if to make Saskia feel like a child again. "I would have been informed."

"You're not my emergency contact anymore. You haven't been since I left."

"Why haven't I? I'm your mum."

"One, you live in a completely different country,"

She waved it off. "You can move back.

Saskia laughed. "As if. No thanks."

It was silent for a minute but it was sadly broken by her mother.

"I was thinking, since Scott and I are getting old now..."

"More like ancient, Scott," Saskia teased, making Scott look shocked for a moment before he smiled with a snicker. He always had good humour.

"I was thinking about getting a nice house," Her mother continued, giving them both a dark look for interrupting her.

"And?"

"I want to move back into the Old Vicarage."

Silence ensued.

The Old Vicarage was the house the whole family lived in when Saskia was in her young teens. Since the house no longer housed the vicar of the small village, the village's main church had been demolished due to its age, Sasakia brought the house after she came into her inheritance after her dad's death. Her family had already moved out by then, relocating to a smaller house, so Saskia was able to refurbish the whole place and made it all nice and very her.

Evelott looked up in shock, having been silent for most of the meal. She was surprised by what her mother had asked. Even she and Scott already knew the answer to that question.

Saskia did not hesitate to say, "Not happening."

"Why not?" Her mother scrunched her face up.

"Because I said so. It's my house, I get to decide what's going to happen with it."

"You're being impractical. You don't even live there anymore," She tried. "Why don't you just give it to us then? We're in need of it."

"If you're getting old, you don't want a huge house with a large staircase," Saskia smiled softly. "When you can't even walk straight in your old age, having to climb loads of stairs to even get to a bathroom is very impractical, don't you think?"

Scott tried to hide his smile, but his wife saw and swatted him on the arm in her rage. Countess sat up, placing her head into Saskia's lap and allowed the woman to stroke back her fur. Scott brushed his hand against Countess' back, only after getting a nod from Saskia

"I think you should move back,"

"I already said I'm not,"

"Your old friend, Leroy misses you,"

"You do realise he's killed like nineteen people now," Saskia watched as her mother blinked blankly.

"Since when?" Evelott questioned, genuinely curious about this.

"He started three years ago, just after Samson was killed by Liam,"

"Samson's dead?" Scott turned to her, waiting for a moment. "Never liked him anyway."

"Yeah. three years and a bit ago. He was left in my house by Liam who was later shot down by the police because he threatened me with a gun…"

The rest of the dinner suffered in uncomfortable silence.

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Without a thought, Saskia grabbed her gun and had it pointed to the door.

"Shit!" She said, placing it back under her pillow as she turned back to the door. "Don't do that, man! Especially if I'm home alone."

Saskia took a moment to take in Will's haggard appearance, hair windswept and tousled hazardously. He was tired, another day of Jack pestering him for answers he just didn't have.

Since Hannibal was out of state for the night, he was doing a small lecture in Texas and planned to get back in the morning, Saskia knew she had to help Will this time.

There was just an unspoken rule about it. Sometimes Saskia had a nightmare and Hannibal helped her through the actual meaning, other times Will was so mentally exhausted that Hannibal had to force him into bed because he could not even think.

She stood from the bed, quickly grabbing the button-down shirt and throwing it on to cover her topless form. "Not to sound rude, but what brings you here? Another nightmare? Bad day?"

"Really bad day," He muttered, rubbing a hand through his hair before rubbing it down his face. "Had a case not far. Hannibal gave me a key if I ever needed to crash."

"Alright," Saskia said, nodding. "What have you eaten in the last twenty-hour hours?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. A sandwich for lunch maybe, an apple for dinner I think? My appetite hasn't been the best today."

"Kitchen, let's go," Saskia gently grabbed his arm and he allowed her to guide him to the kitchen. She shuffled through a cupboard before taking out three bars, handing Will two and keeping one for herself. "Protein bar. Hannibal keeps them stocked for when I've gone down the rabbit hole, he says. It's when I'm so focused on my writing or reading that I forget to do normal human things like eat."

"It's good," He sighed after a bite.

"It's peanut and chocolate,"

"Tasty,"

They eat them in silence for a moment.

"You look like shit and I don't trust you to drive back, not in this state," Saskia stated, exhaling with disapproval. "I doubt Hannibal will care that you slept in his bed. It isn't the first time."

Will gave a confused face as they walked upstairs, pausing on the stairs.

"Let's just say," Saskia turned her head to send a look over her shoulder. "You two are not quiet."

Will's ears turned pink at her words but he shrugged. "Healthy sex life isn't anything to be ashamed of. You should know. Your solo sessions aren't quiet either."

Saskia just smiled and gave out a sheepish look. "Go to bed before we regret this conversation. Night."

"Night,"

Something was wrong. It crawled to sit in her stomach, waking her up easily. Soon it clawed at her skin and mind, and she couldn't help but get up, leaving her gun as she felt like she didn't need it. At least, not now.

Countess had woken up also, she was quick to walk to the closed door and send a look over her shoulder.

She donned the long shirt again, buttoning two or three buttons, she was in too much of a hurry to know, to conceal her modesty. Her feet were bare as she stalked down the hall, her ears picking up the struggle against the bed as Countess strutted to Hannibal's bedroom before Saskia could stop her.

Countess used a paw to claw at the door, careful to not leave a mark. Saskia turned the handle and watched Countess almost squeeze between the gaps. The dog whined and Saskia opened the door some more.

Will had bunched the covers around his legs, leaving him in his shirt and boxers. He looked like he was fighting against something, his arms twitching and hands clenching and unclenching. His face was contorted into painful expressions of grief.

He was having a nightmare and a bad one.

Saskia swore. She knew how bad a nightmare could be, and with everything Will had to see every day, she couldn't imagine what he saw in his nightmares. His job was to be in the mindset of the killer.

She nudged him gently, knowing if he was startled, he could turn violent. When he didn't wake, she tried again with a firmer nudge. Again, it didn't work and Will was still trapped in his nightmare.

"For fuck's sake," Saskia muttered. "Will, wake up!"

She had a knee on the bed, then grabbed him by the shoulders to give him a light shake. She did not expect to be thrown over to his other side as he turned. She wasn't the lightest person but Will was strong, even asleep. Before Saskia could even sit up, Will had moved so he used her chest as a pillow.

Wow.

She thanked the fucking gods she had put the shirt on now.

Her heartbeat seemed to calm him. His face no longer contorted, Saskia suspected that his nightmare was lessening now. But how was she supposed to get back to her room when every time she moved to get up, Will's eyebrows furrowed together adorably. Unknowingly, he threw an arm across her stomach to keep her in place, tightening his grip when she tried to escape.

She would have tried to wake him up but she thought it would have been cruel. Saskia knew Will slept better when he had a heartbeat to listen to, she had that in common with him. She had seen Will fall asleep on Hannibal's chest before, the older man always just allowed him to sleep in peace.

Will didn't like being alone, and she understood that, so she stayed so he could sleep peacefully.

Nightmares were horrible things, she knew, she had plenty of them now.

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Hannibal walked into the house at around half nine in the morning. He put his suitcase down to the side before pulling his coat off. He took a breath of familiarity in.

Will.

Will was here, or had been downstairs in the last few hours. Hannibal was quick but quiet to walk upstairs, knowing Saskia was a light sleeper but would sleep for several hours on end. He didn't need to disturb her as he walked to his bedroom. He was slightly concerned when he saw the door slightly ajar, already thinking that Will was in there.

Hannibal paused at the door, a smile curling his lips as he looked to the bed.

It wasn't just Will in the bed.

It was quite strange to see the two most mentally secretive yet open to their emotions people Hannibal had ever met, curled up in the bed together. Neither liked to be touched unless the need warranted it, both preferring to stick to their animal companions.

Will despised having anyone near his sternum and collarbone, saying it was just instinct to keep people away from there since it was near his heart and lungs.

Saskia hated having her neck and upper back touched, Hannibal found that out one day when he had to remove a pesky tag from her collar and almost got elbowed painfully.

Yet Will allowed Saskia to lean into his chest as he laid on his side, his nose tucked into her hair while her breath was warm against his collarbone. His hand was around her shoulder, loosely holding the base of her neck to keep her close.

The sheets were still bundled by their feet. Both of them were naked, save for underwear and a shirt each, but even that left little to the imagination. Neither of them were prudes so Hannibal had a good amount to go on.

Hannibal came over and took the sheets, carefully pulled it until it covered them up some more. He was surprised neither of them felt cold, even he did and he was wearing many more layering than they were.

Countess laid at the base of the bed on the floor, already knowing she was in another's territory but unwilling to leave her mistress alone. She cracked an eye open, Hannibal brought a finger to his lips and silently left the room after giving her an ear rub.

She yawned and closed her eyes.

Prideful beings, Humans.

Too scared to admit what was there.

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The dinner was beautiful.

It was informal and so was a comfortable affair. No one had said that it was Saskia's birthday, something she was thankful for. She didn't like her birthday much, it was just another day. But the food was gorgeous.

Crumbed asparagus with saffron yoghurt came first. Saskia was a huge fan of asparagus, but parsnips were her absolute favourite. Scott used to make the best roast dinners and Saskia always ate Natasha's, her younger sister's, parsnips if she gave her the potatoes.

Bella, Jack's wife, had complimented the spring onion bhajis with mint and coriander chutney. Saskia found Bella the perfect name for the beautiful woman. There was a sort of rare elegance that was hard to come by. Of course, Saskia had it too but this woman was absolutely genuine and a pleasure to speak to.

Abigail had devoured the summer pudding with fresh berries and creamy yoghurt. It didn't matter that it was nearing winter, Hannibal had desired the out of season berries and so went to a small market where he paid premium prices for a small batch of fresh berries. The pudding just melted in the mouth and Saskia had left an extra piece for Abigail to take back to Port Haven.

Near the end of the dinner, Jack was called out, if Jack was called out, so was Will.

Neither looked happy about leaving the dinner.

Saskia looked to the window, the red bundle that was the little fox sat outside. It looked into the house with a grin, it's tail, now Saskia noticed it had two tails, swished around before flicking it as it stood and strutted away with a snicker.

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Saskia might have despised her mother but… well, but nothing. She had no feeling for her mother and her well being anymore. Sure, if she had tried to patch their relationship as Saskia grew to an adult, Saskia might have forgiven her somewhat, but her mother never tried to even behave better. Saskia couldn't find it in herself to forgive her actions and the plain favouritism in the family.

"Here," Jack passed over an evidence bag with a slip of card inside. "He left a note again."

A little birthday gift,

Cheers.

When her mother's body turned up on the metal tables of the BAU labs as the twentieth victim, Saskia refused to look at her. She didn't even know that she was backing away until her back hit something.

"Saskia?"

She had stepped into Will when he came into the room. Saskia was quick to turn around, averting her eyes as tears well. Saskia carefully wiped the tears away, making sure to keep her fingers from the probably ruined eyeliner. She had to act the part of actually caring about her parent, otherwise, Jack would suspect something was wrong with her and send her to Alana more often.

"What's happening? Why is she crying?"

"If you must know, Jack, that," Saskia quickly sucked up false courage to look at the corpse. "Is my dearly departed mother. When was she killed?"

"I don't think—"

"When. Was. She. Killed?" She tried again, firmer this time.

"The fourteenth,"

"What a great fucking gift, Leroy!" Saskia said sarcastically, grumbling under her breath so only Will heard her last line. "Good riddance."

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Saskia wasn't annoyed or even saddened by her death, quite a relief actually, and Hannibal and Will noticed. She had been more excitable the fast few days, ready to take on more challenges and she actually fell asleep at better times than before.

They confronted her on this.

"There's a certain relief in knowing that the person who has brought you so much pain is dead," Was her only answer, that and a bubbling smile that reached her eyes beautifully.

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And now it was just the funeral.

The oldest sister, Guilia, insisted that she attended the funeral, and after Scott called her, Saskia agreed.

Saskia travelled to England to babysit her nephew for the week leading up to the funeral. Guilia and her husband were the ones to arrange the funeral, while Natasha, the second youngest, sorted out the hotels and venues for when everyone would get to Lithuania.

And now the whole family was in Lithuania, lowering the casket into the space to the side of their maternal grandmother and grandfather.

Saskia had sat in the front row. Scott sat right at the end, and then it was the oldest sister, then Saskia, and then the younger but not youngest, and then Evelott, the golden child and supposed favourite in their mother's eyes.

The funeral was small, mostly a family affair with some of her mother's cousins and siblings attending. Saskia wasn't well-liked by many of them.

It was a solemn affair.

"She is dead because Leroy Harris killed her, Evelott!" Saskia screamed after being accused again for the fourth time in the last hour. She caught the attention of everyone but she didn't care. She wouldn't be put down any more. "This is not my fault."

"You wrote those disgusting books!" Evelott shoved a finger into Saskia's face. "You will go to Hell for that! You devil's whore! You are the reason Mum is dead!"

Saskia had enough, letting her sad facade fade and let her angry simmer to a spitting boil. Her sisters had always been disturbed by how quickly Saskia went from kind and caring to not taking anyone's bullshit.

"Yeah, I wrote those books just like many people have written the things in the bible, and yet you condone the deaths of hundreds each day because they do not conform to your twisted sense of right and wrong? Just because I do not care about a god that has done nothing for me, or that I don't care about what gender my partner is, you decide that I am heading to Hell?"

Her face was close to her sister's, the woman backed down as she saw the crazed predatory look in her older sister's eyes. Evelott knew she would be beaten in an argument with Saskia. Having been blamed for much of Evelott's actions, Saskia was good at bringing up things that could make or break her sister's reputation within the family.

"The Devil best leave the gates wide open because I'm coming back home to my throne!" Saskia began to walk away before sticking her middle finger at Evelott over her shoulder.

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Saskia didn't care if she was dressed in a tight black dress, the same one she wore to the funeral hours before, but she sat on the dirty bench before her father's grave. He was buried in the forest behind his old home, one she now owned and stayed in during the funeral's preparation.

"Hi Dad," Saskia said out loud to the grave. "It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, I'm not sorry to say that Mother's dead. Leroy Harris killed her on my birthday, and nine days later, she was buried by Grandma's grave. I was accused of being the reason she died. I don't really care for their opinion, I only went to the funeral because Guilia and Scott said I needed to.

"I got called a Sinner today. Can't disagree with that statement." She shrugged, letting Countess snuggle up and into her side as the rain started to pour. She didn't put up the umbrella, she didn't have a want to. "What's the point of Jesus dying on the cross for our sins if we don't sin a little, so sin a lot and come down to Hell a legend."

Saskia continued to talk to her dad for a while, informing him about what had occurred within the last three years of Saskia working with the FBI. how she met Will and Hannibal, how they found out what she did, what she could do. It was strangely uplifting telling her dad this.

It helped her understand herself a little more, and understand how the two men had changed her life a little.

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Saskia laid her head against the countertop, her arm being used as a pillow as she just breathed. She lost her appetite two weeks ago, barely able to keep down a sandwich on a good day. Her stomach didn't want food, twisting itself into painful knots of despair that dug into Saskia's skin and gave her a headache.

"You haven't been eating well recently," Hannibal said as he washed up the last of the dishes, putting them to the side to dry. His grip was white against the counter, almost angry with her for not prioritising her health over the last couple of weeks. "Why?"

"If I eat, I'll be sick; if I'm sick, I'll be tired; if I'm tired, I'll sleep; if I sleep, I'll have a night terror; if I have a night terror, I'll lose my appetite; if I lose my appetite, I'll have a drink," Saskia sat up, swirling the glass a touch as she settled her weight onto a forearm. "If I have a drink, I'll be hungry; if I'm hungry, I'll eat. It's a horrible, horrible cycle."

Hannibal hadn't realised how tired Saskia was. The dark circle under her eyes were atrocious, almost like dark bruises of a black eye. Saskia wore an inconceivable amount of concealer to hide them every day. Her normally clear eyes were foggy and red from strain. Her skin was shallow compared to its normal, healthy glow from a few weeks before.

He snatched the glass from her hand when she went to drink some more, quickly emptying the amber liquid down the drain without a regret. She didn't make a sound of protest, only sighing into her hands. Saskia was like a rag doll, easily manipulated to stand up as Hannibal took out her chair.

"That's enough," Hannibal didn't hesitate to take her by the arm and guide her upstairs, going straight to the bathroom and running the bath in her bathroom. "You will have a hot bath with lavender salts, the ones you love, while I find you some sleeping pills."

That last bit made Saskia rip her hand out of his grip. She shook her head firmly. "No pills. Hot chocolate is better, coffee is best."

It took a minute or two but the claw bath filled easily. Saskia breathed in the lavender scent, it was subtle and not overpowering, with a hint of rose. It was the reason Saskia liked this brand of bath salts, it left a subtle scent on her skin that didn't make her nauseous.

"It's too late for coffee. While you bathe, I'll make some hot chocolate."

Saskia nodded mutely, slowly unbuttoning the shirt she wore, uncaring of the fact that Hannibal watched her for but a moment before the door clicked closed.

The salts had turned the water a very slight lilac and pink tone, barely noticeable unless you concentrated. The water was hot and heavenly on her tired body as she sank into the water, her hair piled into a mess on top of her head so it didn't get wet.

She hugged herself in the burning water, needing some kind of physical comfort in human form. Countess was great but Saskia needed more, wanted more. She'd been loved twice before, loved three times, and finding love was hard enough.

It had been over three years since she, Leroy and Liam killed Samson. She had let that love go a while back, never finding herself regret the loss of it. It was more of a relief to be able to breathe normally and not having to constantly look over her shoulder. But with Leroy now threatening her and her family again, she'd been spiralling again.

And with her mother dead and buried, that helped a little. But it just brought the nightmares back and they were worse than ever before. She could hardly sleep, and if she did, she was always woken up with a heaving breath that even she knew wasn't right.

Hannibal opened the door after knocking, coming in with a bundle and a steaming cup. He carefully handed the cup to her, watching her as she took it and daintily took a sip to test it.

"I went and got your favourite pyjamas," He gestured to the bundle on top of the toilet lid.

"How do you know they were my favourites?" Her lip curled a little as she teased him. "For all you know, I could prefer sleeping in my prom dress."

He chuffed, smiling a little. It was a calm little smile, nothing predatorial or unstable about it. It was a smile you made when you were being teased fondly by someone you found a friend. "You wear them whenever you have a lazy day. I thought it best that you wear something comfortable to sleep."

Saskia nodded, her eyes downcast into the milky chocolate in her cup. There was no concern for her nudity as she laid in the bath, she couldn't care any less at that moment in time. It was natural and Saskia was never a big prude about her body. It was her body and so she just had to love it because it was the only one she would get.

"I fear that I'll have another night terror," She shifted, her arms now dripping over the edge of the bath as Saskia leaned on it. The position prevented him from seeing anything due to Saskia having her chest against the tub and her legs crossed creatively to hide.

"What do you dream of?"

"I can never remember. It's never actually scary, but it freaks me out enough to make me wake up. I'm not a screamer or thrasher. I suddenly wake up and quickly spiral down unless I have something to ground me. Countess doesn't always work,"

)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(

Saskia just floated on the ocean water. Land was nowhere to be seen and the water was calm, and clear, and kind. She didn't need to move, didn't need to think, to touch, to feel. It was pure heaven as she floated. Her body, mind, and spirit completely numb to the touch. She could have just stayed there forever.

The water enveloped her, pushing her within its depths without a care. She started treading water as soon as it hit her nose. The waters around her mocked her as she tried to keep her head above the water, kicking her legs as fast and as steadily as she could. It was to no avail as the water consumed her.

The icy temperatures stung her nose and eyes. Once again, her head reached the surface and she took in a deep breath, settling the air into her stomach before she was dunked back under the water. Something held her down as she struggled to reach the surface, barely getting another breath before plunging back in.

Why was there ice?

It wasn't there before.

Why would it appear so suddenly?

The next time she hit the surface, a thin layer of ice, almost invisible, covered the surface but she couldn't break it. She banged her fists against the layer, wanting to get out and see the sky. It did nothing as she curled up against it, trying to use her knees, and elbows, and hands, and head, and nails, to get out.

There was the clank of hooves against the ice. An animal, a large one with a thick body, began to walk around the area she tried to break, almost mocking her for a moment. Its head came nearer than ice, and she could see that it was a stag. It began to scrap its antlers against the ice and her fight renewed itself, almost making her hands bleed with how much force she extorted.

Saskia tried to scream, finding her voice muffled by the water around her. She tried to grasp the thousands of tiny air bubbles that reached the ice and phased through.

With the scream, her breath was gone. Water filled her mouth but she was quick to spit it out.

She paused, her energy depleted for the moment. She was dragged down, her limbs too heavy to move anymore.

As she went further and further away from the surface, the waters darkened dangerously. Her will to fight just made her be dragged down further but she couldn't move. She didn't want to. Why was she becoming tired? Her eyelids wanted to drop and there was a strong desire to just stop moving and let go.

Her breath was now gone.

Saskia…

The waters had their icy grip on her limbs and she just sank.

Saskia…

There was no need to think as her mind became numb with the cold.

Saskia…

She just wanted to stay in the water forever, not leaving its stiff condiments on her limbs as her eyelids closed for the final time.

"Saskia, wake up!"

She sprung up in the bed, her shoulder hitting Hannibal's as she gasped for air. Her lungs burned with it, finally getting the needed oxygen.

"Careful," He muttered as she clutched her heaving chest. "You were crying from a nightmare."

She touched her cheeks, finding her fingers wet. Why was she crying? She didn't feel like she was crying, but the tears were enough evidence. She was numb, detached even. Her emotions were bundled tightly into her chest.

Saskia didn't say anything but nodded once before staring off to space again.

Hannibal sighed. She had completely detached herself to save herself from the trauma of the nightmare. He swiftly removed the weighted blanket from over her, easily picking her up from the bed. With a nod, he motioned for Countess to follow him into his room.

It was too dangerous to let her sleep alone, especially when she had paused in her breathing, much too long to be healthy. Even Countess wasn't able to wake her. She didn't need another episode.

Hannibal tucked her into one side of the bed, and when he got in, she instantly curled up into his side, unaware of her actions. Countess tried to climb onto the bed but he stopped her; he didn't need animal hair on his silk sheets. But when she whined pitifully, looking to her frozen master in the bed, Hannibal nodded to the end on Saskia's side. The woman had curled up enough to leave room for Countess to be able to tuck under her legs.

Saskia tucked herself into Hannibal's side, doing much the same she had done to Will a while ago. The small brushing of a finger against her exposed lower back was a comfort she could not comprehend, already off to sleep as soon as his steady heartbeat sounded in her earshot.

Hannibal stared off into space for a while before he too succumbed to nature's will, falling asleep with his hand on her back, her hand on his chest, and his body curled protectively around her, lest the night terror wreck havoc again.

It was a long way down to the bottom of the sea.

)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(

AN: I know Saskia is acting like a child, not taking care of herself, but she's in a bad mental place. I hope you understand why I had to have the funeral and her mother killed. You can tell that the end is coming with the Leroy Harris Arc, one more victim and it's gonna be done! and I can move onto the next arc. I am following the storyline of the show, so within the next chapter or two, you'll understand where we are in the show. it should be the Colour Palette murder one.

(This is no reflection on what has happened in my life, though there are some similarities, a lot of Saskia's past is FICTION, but I have used personal experiences between myself, my family, and other members of the public.) Some people have asked and I just wanted to make things clear.