A/N: Hello everyone! Its due time for an update isn't it? I would like to thank NeferNeferi for his/her review because it helped me, and inspired me to write even more. So thanks a lot NeferNeferi!

To help the confusion, I hereby announce that Haruhi's name is changed to TOMIRO. Don't ask me why, I just changed it. And I have edited the other chapters of his name so do not worry. He is still a guy too.

And other than that, keep reading and loving the story! Here's chapter 19.

-

Hurting

"There's no other place to go."

"We've waited for 12 hours now. How much longer do we have to wait?"

Hinata looked up from Akamaru as she, Shino and Kiba tensed at the familiarity of the voices. As their footsteps drew near, the rookie team saw, and shuddered at the sight of Sabaku no Gaara. The older teenagers looked their way and smirked, and Hinata blushed, knowing their fears were written all over their faces. She had a strange feeling though, as she watched the shorter redhead lead the way, that he was not what he seemed.

Although he hardly took a glance at them, Gaara recognized their fear, and fed from it. The same fear he had sensed after he killed the rain shinobis with their pathetic hidden needles. They were way below his level, not even worthy of his look. Only sources to feed his hungry monstrosity within.

But he turned his head for a fraction of a second anyway, and laid his blue-green eyes on a purple haired kunoichi. Hinata's disposition was that of embarrassment, fear, inferiority and...

Curiosity?

He turned away, his thoughts void of anything even close to mild interest.

-

"...S-Seki..."

Exhausted, her fatigue mind struggled to pay attention to the young girl in front of her. Red hair blinded her sight for a while, but Seki managed, somehow, to focus.

The image presented in front of her made her stomach lurch uncomfortably. Blood flowing everywhere, the rain that was pouring down made it swim towards Seki and she could feel its stickiness on her hair. Her eyes looking up, she saw a lifeless figure in a kimono and saw a flash of graceful walking in her mind. Tears already brimming her eyes, Seki felt her body shiver as the cold wind brushed her skin, more of it exposed due to some tears in her clothes.

"Seki?" The weak voice captured Seki's attention and she wanted to cry out in pain at the disfigured person in front of her, that was Chikako. Her face bloodily slashed by something similar to claws, and her arms had the same crimson liquid spurting out mercilessly. Chikako didn't seem to have any strength to walk, probably due to broken legs, and was painfully trying to drag herself closer to Seki. Her mind awoke at the thought and despite her aching limbs, the kunoichi tried to push herself away.

"No, stay away, I might-"

"I knew you weren't that monster, Seki..."

That made Seki stop, and salty tears mixed with the rain as they caused wet streaks down her face. Sitting up slowly, Seki watched Chikako move closer towards her until she could finally rest her head on Seki's lap. Sobbing furiously now, her hands trembled as they cupped the young girl's face. They were still full of life, bright even though the fire within her was slowly dimming.

"I-I'll get you a doctor, he'll save you! I'll make sur-"

"Seki, why did you leave? I know you aren't the monster, why didn't you protect me? Seki, don't forget me? I'm sorry I'm not strong enough. Stupid shinobi school..." Chikako coughed at the last sentence, and Seki, despite her heart clenching at her words, let out a grim chuckle. Innocent Chikako, however, seemed happy with it though, and smiled as much as she could even though Seki knew she was hurting.

"Chikako..." Seki whispered as thunder boomed and lightning flashed above her. She pulled the girl into her chest, aligning their heart beats as one, between their cold shuddering bodies. As Chikako's smile disappeared with her life, Seki held the body of her first friend in Takigakure tightly, as if trying to contain the soul from drifting away.

"I'm sorry."

As if needle had pricked her heart muscle, Seki felt herself bleeding inside, the pain overwhelming her senses. She cried, so loudly that even Tomiro who stood beside her could feel the hurt racking her entire being. Seki slowly let Chikako's body lie on the soft ground, before gripping herself hard. Tomiro saw small traces of blood being washed away from Seki's arm, but did nothing because he knew she was trying to use pain to override pain.

But the tricky wounds were always the wounds of the heart.

"Tomiro, th-thank you," Tomiro looked down in surprise, watching as Seki looked up to meet his eyes. He knew it was difficult for her, so he crouched down to smile gently at her, hoping to ease the pain a little. Tomiro nodded, understanding her meaning and embraced her, knowing the warmth he could provide was far from the one she wanted.

But at least, he had some to share.

Tomiro turned his head to look at Chikako, his own heart wrenching at the empty shell that once held a soul and a heart. The wisdom of her words, he would never forget, and he knew that Seki would not either.

"Rest in peace, cousin."

-

Gaara looked down distastefully as time seemed to crawl. He watched pair after pair of mildly interesting people face off, his hands itching for a fight ever since Uchiha Sasuke's name appeared on the electric board.

He saw the lavender eyes of both shinobis walk towards the middle of the floor, a characteristic unique to the Hyuuga clan. Thoughts slowly drifted to the previous fight out of boredom, the one with the loud-mouthed twerp who would not shut up about being Hokage. Gaara skipped it, taking a short glance at the bobbed hair genin donning a green jumpsuit, his similarly dressed mentor beside him.

Strong, you say? Gaara thought, wickedly excited. Although the thrill bombarded his head, no one noticed any difference with his stoic expression, his arms crossed without moving an inch. The redhead barely realized the fight had started, seeing as the male Hyuuga Neji was attempting to persuade the female to withdraw. Covered in a thick jacket, there was nothing special about the kunoichi just as Gaara had predicted before. The male seemed to be strong, Gaara sensed the power of his chakra, and was hardly concerned at the amount he felt.

"You're wrong! I-I wa-wanted to change!" Soft spoken Hyuuga Hinata tried to defend her own beliefs. This led to more talking by the male Hyuuga, before the hyperactive, annoying genin called Uzumaki Naruto interrupted with a few words of his own. Before long, the action began to happen.

His invisible eyebrow twitching, Gaara was caught between interested, finally, at the male Hyuuga's skill, and surprised at the female Hyuuga's change in attitude. It was almost as if an alternate persona had taken over her, discarding all the fears and hesitation.

I'll change. And become the shinobi I want to be.

Frowning heavily, he kept his eyes on the battle below. He knew he couldn't see the chakra that was pumped out through the palms of the Hyuugas' hands, but there was no doubt of internal damage when the female Hyuuga was pushed down. Neji lectured her again, but Gaara heard no words as he saw the coughed up blood from Hinata.

"I... will not... take back... my... words," Hinata panted out as she regained her balance, taking a huge amount of effort just to sound out each word. Gaara felt his brain twitch, mostly from the amount of blood he had seen so far. His inner demon seemed to shiver with glee, but behind it all, something else nudged him.

I will not take back my smile.

Gaara could not phantom a reason or cause for the voice. He heard no tone, no sound, almost as if the words were written in front of him. But he heard it.

It wasn't long before Hinata was back on the ground, caused by a near-fatal blow to her heart. The sand welder was as passive as he looked, once again, even though the monster beneath his calm composure was ready to burst, while the judge decided to end the match.

"Don't stop the match!"

Gaara did not even look up at the boy clad in an orange jacket. His eyes narrowed, the black outlines nearly joining as the motionless Hinata started to tremble. He lifted his head higher in surprise.

The struggling kunoichi placed her hands on the ground, trying to support herself despite her lack of energy. Slowly, very slowly, but surely, she was on her own two feet again, muttering nonsense like how she could still fight. Her appearance was already proof enough: she could no longer fight.

Everyone stared down as Hinata struck a nerve on a sensitive topic, and resulted in Neji angrily dashing towards the weak girl. With a cloud a sudden smoke, four jounins restrained the skilled, but brash male Hyuuga. Gaara could hardly care about what happened after that, until someone caught his attention.

And no one could grab everyone's focus as effectively as Konoha's No. 1 loud-mouth genin.

"I will win!" Naruto declared boldly, Hinata's blood dripping from his clenched fingers.

Despite the fact his the sight of Hinata's blood, Gaara felt a part of his mind take in the look in Naruto's eyes.

Fierce determination, as seen in Hinata, the green jumpsuit genin, and... others. Names failed to fill in the blank that Gaara left, purposely erasing any hints. He watched the medical team carry the female Hyuuga out of the building, a strange feeling of deja vu overwhelming him. He couldn't not feel it, as much as he blocked out emotions. He could refuse to acknowledge it, of course.

In which, this was currently very easy to do as another feeling washed over any previous thoughts. A shinobi was summoned in to clear the mess, but the smell was already inside his body, travelling around his senses as it awoke a bloodthirsty monster inside.

Too long, Gaara thought impatiently, although none was shown on his face. A quick shunshin and he appeared in a whirl of sand on the lower level before the board even finished matching up names.

GAARA VS ROCK LEE

Plain turquoise eyes directed its cold and murderous gaze towards Lee's dark ones that were shining with the flames of determination and resolution. Refusing to give in to the exclaims of his past, to remember, Gaara let his other side take over, the one that yearned for blood and death, for pain and hurt.

This was the side of Gaara everyone would see, and remember.

-

Keimyou ran around the house in a blind rush, trying to make sure both Seki and Tomiro stayed warm and that his house was not blown down by the sudden thunderstorm. After meeting both teenagers supporting each other outside his porch, Keimyou had not stopped for a minute to think about what had happened. As soon as the storm had lessened and his niece had stopped shivering so vigorously, he relaxed a little and went to cook some chicken soup.

Tomiro and Seki accepted a bowl each gratefully, and Keimyou's heart felt warm as well, as he watched Seki gulp down the soup hungrily in the old manner she used to do. Without a second thought he went to hug her, testing Seki's shinobi skills as she balanced the bowl with one hand and embraced Keimyou with the other.

"Here, I'll take that," Tomiro said softly as he took away Seki's bowl. She smiled a small smile and wrapped both arms around her uncle. A few seconds later however, Seki looked up to observe Tomiro as he helped to keep the bowls of soup. A guilty feeling seeped into Seki as she realized she never took the time to get to know him, or even look at him. She noticed he had brown hair as well, tousled in a messy way, but it seemed to fit him. His eyes were a mix of deep purple and black, and his complexion tanned. He was not very muscular, but Seki knew he was strong when he had supported her back from the forest. She recalled Tomiro mentioning his age around 16, so that made him much more mature than she was.

"Tomiro," said shinobi turned and was taken aback when Seki wrapped her arms around him as well. Keimyou chuckled as Tomiro blushed at the close contact and awkwardly embraced Seki back.

"Thank you," Tomiro looked down and noticed Seki had not opened her eyes. Glimmering drops of tears appeared and he smiled gently, slowly pushing her away and brushing her tears away.

"My father once said, even if you divert from the original path, it will always be there, awaiting your return."

"So did Iwashi," Seki look around to Keimyou, who was smiling as well. He placed a hand on her head and kissed Seki's forehead, softly, in an encouraging voice, saying, "Welcome back, Houseki Raion."

And Seki smiled.

-

He could only glare at the annoyingly green jumpsuit, the one that was on Lee's mentor, and tremble.

With fear? Hatred? Hunger? He did not know. He could only maintain this confusion he felt, and suddenly was boiling with rage and struggled to make his words out. When he did, after all that effort, he got an answer he could not understand:

"He is an important subordinate that I love."

Feeling his sand build up again on his body, Gaara slowly stood up to leave. If he could not understand it, he didn't need to know it. He heard the mentor call out Lee's name, and turning his head, he could only watch as the mentor embraced Lee in a way Gaara could not identify. The fact that he could not understand it made him angry this time, for a reason he did not know.

They are nothing to you.

Gaara realized he was stalling and walked towards the stairs, his unblinking eyes reflected nothing in them—no intent to kill or seek pain anymore. It was with these turquoise eyes, that he connected his gaze with Uzumaki Naruto, and observed his sky blue eyes, filled with anger and hate. Gaara assumed they were very different from his own feelings, but just as easily as he thought of it, it disappeared. He is nothing to me. His mind blank, the redhead willed his sand to bring him back.

"Welcome back, Gaara," Temari said softly as the redhead genin shunshin right beside her and Baki. He took a sideways glance at her, knowing that there was nothing about his appearance that would betray his feelings. Although in truth, any feelings he had other than the satisfied hunger of the demon within him had long ago died off. The voice he had heard was gone and he knew he would not hear it for a long time.

His mind as empty as a piece of paper, he waited, patiently this time, for the last match to end before he gathered with the other winners back on the ground to hear the instructions for the main matches. Although Gaara absorbed the information like a sponge, he was not really listening.

Similarly, his heart was beating, but not living.

-

In the empty space of her room, Seki let loose her true emotions, unhindered by Keimyou and Tomiro's presence.

Even though she had assured both of them she was fine, and that she had decided to renew her efforts to work hard as a shinobi, the truth was that Seki was still hurting. She had not lied, and truly was grateful for Tomiro's wake up call.

But her heart could not deny that the new pain had become part of the dull ache of her heart, still chipping bits of her soul away.

"Chikako, I'm sorry," Seki whispered as softly as she could, her quiet sobs choking her as the crushed pink carnation lay upon her palms. She had found it inside her pocket of her torn pants, and quickly bade Tomiro and her uncle good night so that she could mourn over Chikako the way she knew how.

It was silly, of course. But Chikako had opened Seki's heart with her innocent self and naïve personality. She had not known of the danger Seki was, she did not realize the reason her mother had prevented her to go outdoors was because of Seki. She did not know, because Seki didn't let her know.

And with that thought, Seki whipped out a kunai and poised it above her left wrist.

"If only you knew, you would still be alive."

Utilizing her artistic skills, Seki gritted her teeth and swiftly carved a simple picture of a carnation on her wrist, biting back her screams as the physical pain shot up her arm. Once the bleeding stopped, Seki reached into her sling bag and pulled out some bandages, wrapping the entire length of her lower arm as the 'stalk' of her carnation reached up her elbow.

Standing up, Seki looked at herself in the mirror. Her brown hair was still a little wet, and she finally noticed the orange streaks that was the result of an overuse of her orange dye. It grew a little longer than shoulder length, so Seki used an black string to tie it into a ponytail. Her shirt was muddy and torn, same as her black pants. Quickly sifting through her belongings, she put on some new clothes and attached on her weapons holster.

"Houseki Raion," Seki called out to the mirrored image of herself. She was about to smile when she suddenly recalled that her smile was the reason for Chikako's death. She was too friendly with Chikako, and Chikako liked her smile, her friendliness. Chikako died because she was Seki's friend.

She could not take it anymore. Seki could take no more hurt, no more pain, no more tears. Anymore and she would break. Her eyes drifted over to the calender on her bed, not sure why, until she slapped herself mentally for reminding her own heart that it was the Chuunin examinations. After a while though, she was relieved that she was not there. She would only be a danger to everyone.

"Houseki Raion, the monster."

The untouched bed covers flapped gently in the wind that blew through the open window.

-

A/N: This looks shorter, but has a lot more words than I expected. I hope you guys can understand Seki's pain, she really loved Sunagakure. And, yeah. She loved the place. Haha.

Tomiro – Fortunate child

READ AND REVIEW THANKS!

-JE