Chapter 18
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Warning: minor mention of rape (nothing graphic but there is a tiny mention of it in one of the paragraphs)
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Two weeks after her release, Saskia was tired of being confined to her bed and being only allowed to take fifteen minute walks three times a day. After a particularly hard day of staying in bed, even if staying in a bed wasn't actually that difficult but it was draining her and made her jittery by doing nothing for almost three weeks, Saskia found herself in the kitchen.
"Saskia!" Abigail smiled on the tablet Saskia propped up on one of the kitchen countertops as she video called the younger woman.
"Hiya," Saskia leaned forward on the countertop, watching the face and upper torso of Abigail appear on the large screen. "How's uni? I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"I was just finishing up an essay for one of the modules," She said, moving the camera until an inch or two of the desk could be seen and a window on the far wall behind her. "How are Will and Hannibal?"
"They're doing well," Saskia began to pull stuff out of cupboards, bowls, ingredients, and utensils. "We went for dinner and watched a live opera for Hannibal's birthday."
"Was it nice? I sent him a small sculpture I saw, thought he might like it,"
"He did,"
Abigail watched Saskia begin to fiddle with her phone, looking self satisfied as Abigail took in Saskia's outfit for the day. A pair of silk pajama shorts and a matching cami with an open sweater over it. She watched Saskia begin to create a dough and very quickly began to knead it.
When she put too much pressure into the dough, Saskia hissed and stopped, stepping away as Abigail asked what was wrong.
"Nothing," Saskia muttered, rubbing a flour covered hand against her forehead. "I, ah, had surgery a few weeks ago."
"Oh god, why? What happened? Are you alright now?" Abigail quickly rattled off the questions as her face took on a degree of great concern.
"Someone stabbed me three weeks ago, in the lower abdomen," Saskia stood up, lifting the shirt and lowered the shorts just enough to show Abigail the stitches and minimal scar. "A piece of the knife broke inside me, it pierced my uterus and I got advised to have a hysterectomy."
"Are you alright, Saskia? That's a major surgery!" Abigail shook her head in disbelief on the other end. "Do Hannibal and Will know?"
"Yes, they know," Saskia laughed as the pain had completely dulled. "I had them as my next of kin because I consider them family. That begs the question, who did you put as your emergency contact at school? With Leroy Harris still out there, we should be careful."
"Hannibal is my emergency contact and has my power of attorney if I became incompitant," She said, a look of fear in her eyes but it diminished quickly. "I made you my next of kin, in case something happened to me."
"Nothing's gonna happen to you, Abigail," She began to stretch and roll out the door before beginning to cut it. "You've got three people looking out for you."
"Four!" A new voice suddenly appeared from behind Abigail, a smiling face came into view. "Oh, she's beautiful. How come you get to know all the pretty women, Abi?"
Abigail swatted the girl's hand away from her head, letting the girl wrap her arms around Abigail's neck fondly in a hug. "Saskia, this is Marie. My roommate and—"
Marie, as she was introduced, smiled brightly and ran a hand through her short hair. "This one's girlfriend!"
"Hello, Marie," Saskia smiled back, lifting a hand in greeting.
"Soooo…" Marie leaned towards Abigail, nodding to the laptop. "Who's she, Abi?"
"Remember what I told you about my past, my dad?" Abigail muttered, letting Marie nod before continuing. "Saskia is writing a book about my life."
"Oh, cool. Wait. Saskia? Saskia Alasite?" Marie's face lit up, the tomboyish looks very much expressed with her jersey shirt and shorts as she jumped back. "You're her! I've read your books, big fan!"
"Thank you," Saskia was able to roll up the dough and place them on a tray as she heard the door to the house open. By their footsteps, Saskia knew who it was out of the two. "Will just came in."
Abigail shifted in her seat, looking quite uncomfortable now. "How do you feel about me being in a relationship with a girl?"
Saskia paused, making Abigail cringe. She then smiled softly as she shoved the doughy goods into the oven before leaning back onto the flour covered countertop.
"Abigail," She started. "I don't care about the gender of my own partners, why would I care that you liked girls? You could like no one and I would still support you either way. I dated all types throughout my adulthood. As long as everything is safe and consensual, you do what you like with whoever you like."
"Actually… I like girls and guys, I think. I don't know yet I am…"
"Good for you. Just remember that you do not have to label yourself if you don't feel comfortable." Saskia said as Will walked into the kitchen, hanging by the doorway as Countess greeted him by jumping up with her flour covered paws onto his dark . "I know I didn't when I was younger. You are who you are, you like what you like. I will never judge you unless you've done something absurdly stupid…"
"Like fall in love with a guy that turns out to be a serial killer?"
"Something like that," Saskia said, before saying her goodbyes and ending the call with a sigh.
Will strode over to stand next to her, making Countess follow him as he observed the slight mess she made with the flour on the countertops. "You shouldn't be walking."
"I'm allowed to be walking for as long as I can comfortably do so, and I'm not supposed to lift anything above ten pounds," Saskia put the timer on for the oven. "I know my limitations, Will."
"What are you making?"
"Croissants,"
"Did you finally decide to create something that wasn't writing or a drawing?"
"I was craving a croissant and so I decided to make some," Saskia sheepishly said. "They won't be as good as Hannibal's but I had nothing better to do today."
"Nothing is as good compared to Hannibal's cooking,"
As soon as Saskia saw Countess put her front paws onto the counter, she tried to grab the flour bag but Countess was quicker. The dog took the flour bag between her teeth and leapt back onto the ground, suddenly shaking her head vigorously and letting all of the flour fall around the kitchen.
"Countess," Hannibal's voice suddenly appeared from the doorway, frowning at the flour covered dog and gesturing to the side. "Outside."
Saskia turned to Will, having found herself covered from the chest down in flour, to see Will covered just the same. They just laughed as Saskia touched some flour from a pile and clasped her hands onto Will's face, causing flour handprints on his cheek and jawline. He rubbed it off just as he put a hand and ruffled her hair and caused flour to fall onto her face and shoulders.
"Will, can you sort Countess out? I don't want Saskia bending down until the stitches are out." Hannibal asked as he walked over, leaving footprints in the flour on the ground. "Saskia and I will try and get the kitchen sorted before dinner. I can smell the croissants."
Countess strutted out of the kitchen, already leaving a path of freshly fallen flour on the ground in her path. Luckily nothing was carpeted so the clean up was easy.
Saskia sighed. "Sometimes I hate that dog."
"ARROOO!" Countess sang as she ran through the house with Will chasing after her.
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Saskia pulled the scarf taunt against her torso and neck, making her grumble with displeasure as Hannibal helped her out of his car at the Verger slaughterhouse. Saskia didn't wear heels and wouldn't until she was properly heeled, only a month along from her surgery but seemed to heal like she was two months post.
With a little bit too much ice on the ground for his liking, Hannibal extended an arm for Saskia to take as they walked towards the man at the door. He didn't want her to fall over and injure herself again.
When they got inside the building, Hannibal allowed Saskia to walk up the platform first because, one, it was only polite to let a woman walk up the stairs first because she might fall and he would be there to catch her, and two, her jeans were fitted quite nicely to her.
Pigs snorted as they reached the top, making her wrinkle her nose as she couldn smell the food that had too much of a metallic finish.
Mason Verger was a decent looking man in Saskia's opinion but there was something that just made her want to kill him more because of that.
Mason grinned childishly, clasping his hands together. "Doctor Lecter, Miss Alasite, a pleasure to see you both. Thank you for accepting my invitation."
"I'm prone to old-world politeness," Hannibal had taken his gloves off and shook Mason's hands calmly. "Would have seemed rude to say no."
"Since I'm paying for Margot's therapy, I thought I should meet her psychiatrist in a more professional standing. How have you been, Miss Alasite?" He extended a hand for Saskia to shake. When she touched him, he brought the hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles gentlemanly. "You look radiant as ever."
Saskia smiled, her lips twerking up in fake happiness as she was thankful she wore her gloves still. "Thank you, Mr Verger,"
"And who's this?" Mason crouched down to look at Countess, taking her face in his hands and making her growl. "She looks lovely but I can't pinpoint her breed."
"She is a mutt, but she's mine so that is all that matters." Saskia allowed Countess to walk back over and sit by Hannibal, the dog allowing Hannibal to give her a pet and glaring her doggy glare at Mason. Saskia nodded to the pigs squealing. "These pigs look strange, I don't think I've seen such ones before."
Mason seemed to not notice that Countess hated him already, quickly walking to the edge to overlook the rails. "Of course, you wouldn't have seen pigs like these. They're a product of many years, many litters." There was a leer in his voice. "Only the best were allowed."
Saskia looked as if she didn't hear it and see how he looked her down. She had to mutter in Lithuanian. "Don't even think about it, 'Tess."
Hannibal cleared his throat, holding Countess by the collar. "I do know man and pig."
"Papa would have loved to meet you. He could feel the face of a hog and determine by its bone structure alone its genetic makeup." Mason shook his head with a fake sullen face. "Breeding was very important to my father. Margot really pissed him off with all her button-stitching. No breeding there."
Saskia ran her tongue against her teeth, biting her tongue because she could feel the remark that wanted to spill out of her mouth.
"Do you have any children, Miss Alasite,"
"I don't."
"Pity. You would have such lovely and beautiful children."
She was unsure of how to respond to that so she just smiled and nodded. "Thank you, Mr Verger."
"Mason, please." He said, coming to stand on one side of her as she leaned against the railings to look at the pigs.
"Please call me Saskia then,"
Mason turned to Hannibal, surprised that he allowed him so close to Saskia. Mason didn't know the relationship between them and so had to act cautiously. "Do you have a sister, Doctor Lecter?"
Hannibal stiffened. "I had a sister."
"Then you understand my need to protect Margot mostly from herself," Mason said. "She's pathological. I'm sure she's told you horrible things that I've done."
"All I heard from her was good things." Saskia got his attention easily and watched as the man's eyes lit up as she spoke softly. "You see, I have my own sister, three in fact, and I don't like any one of them to any degree but I prefer some to others. Margot sounded quite genuine in the fact that you cared for her and your family, especially the family business of breeding swine."
Hannibal wasn't surprised that she was trying to manipulate Mason Verger to her advantage, and Margot's. "Unlike Saskia, I can't tell you anything of what Margot has confessed to me."
"I'm quite surprised by that, Saskia." He curled the name around his tongue and Saskia didn't allow herself to cringe. She had better control than that. "Margot usually tells people that I've done horrible things which I would never allow myself to do."
"We have all done things we say we would never allow ourselves to do," She nodded to herself. "Therapy is a good way to discuss things in a safe manner."
Mason stopped, tucking his hands into his trouser pockets as he looked at her. "Do you go to therapy, Saskia?"
"I do." She copied his mannerisms, getting him more comfortable with her manipulations. "It's greatly helped me understand myself better."
"Maybe I should consider therapy then?" He muttered to himself, quickly speaking up as his eyes darted between Hannibal and Saskia. "Do you do your therapy with Doctor Lecter?"
"No, I had one session with him when my ex boyfriend was killed but Hannibal suggested another therapist for me. It worked out well."
"Good, good." Mason mumbled, suddenly happy with the information. He had wanted to know what kind of relationship they had, but it seemed like they wouldn't give it out and he didn't want to outright ask. "Can I have Carlo slaughter you a hog, Saskia? Doctor Lecter? A fine pig for you as a token of my appreciation for what you do with Margot?"
"Please." Hannibal was happy to say. "But I must insist on selecting my own pig. Always do."
Mason Verger watched Hannibal Lecter help Saskia Alasite down the stairs, making sure to keep in front of her and that she didn't fall. She really was a beautiful woman with a brilliant mind and sharp tongue. He would have to see if he could get to know her some more, see if she would accept his advances.
Of course she would.
She was a beautiful woman and he a rich man.
Fairy tale ending.
Mason Verger just didn't realise what fairy tail version he would partake in.
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The FBI found the body by the end of the next week at the base of a willow tree near one of the highways.
"The incisions were clean around the abdominal area," Jimmy Price said, gesturing to that area before gesturing to the several stab wounds in the woman's chest. "It seemed like Harris was wanting to cause pain as he stabbed her, he jiggled the knife or blade to rip the skin some more. He surprisingly left the whole womb intact when he gifted it to you, he didn't do any damage to it."
"Probably a sign of remorse for me losing mine," Saskia said, taking a look at the chart with the woman's information.
"Are, uh, you doing alright now, Miss Alasite?" Price asked, a little uncomfortable.
Saskia nodded softly. "I'm doing fine, thank you." She lifted a page, trailing her finger down it. "This looks familiar. Isn't that the last name of the seventh victim?"
"Yeah," Katz said. "Fraternal twin. This one is the older of the two. Why do you think Leroy Harris did this?"
"Dunno. Probably some twisted sense of duty."
"Careful," Katz jutted her chin out to the side, gesturing to the woman coming in. "Doctor Bloom is back for you."
"Thank you all," Saskia smiled as she walked back up to Alana. "Finished here. You?"
"Jack just wanted to discuss your mental health," Alana nodded. "He felt like he had a right to know but since you haven't told me I could discuss with him or anyone else, I had to tell him I couldn't speak to him about it."
"Hm."
The two women began to walk back to the main doors of the building, leaving it and quickly getting back to the campus of the academy. Snow still loitered in areas but it didn't fall as much now, the week being the first of february now.
They began to speak of Saskia's childhood again, her father, her siblings, her mother. It was nice being able to speak to her about it but Saskia felt like she was being followed, and she had been right.
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"I'm ready to rip those red curls out of her god damn head!" Saskia slowly got louder as she chucked the laptop onto the ground, breaking the screen in the process but she didn't care.
Saskia Alasite, also known as Syn, has decided to reveal a bigger part of herself in an interview with Harumi Jin, a new journalist with just as new blog. One would think with her kind of books, the trilogy that has caused twenty people to be killed, would have had a tragic childhood. And she has.
Born to Lithuanian parents, Miss Alasite was brought up by her mother, who was the 12th victim of the Miscreant Killer, and three half sisters. Miss Alasite had a few run-ins with the police at a young age: having been attacked at a young age by two other girls, been accused of bringing alcohol into school, and have been accused of bringing a knife into school to hurt others. Along with a narcissistic personality, it isn't surprising.
Miss Alasite has had a life full of abuse with her father—
Saskia's laptop cut the rest off with a stark line of breakage on the screen.
All she wanted to do now was rip every single red hair out of that ginger's head, followed by nails with vocal apologise being forced from her throat before it was ended with slices to her mouth and acid being poured into that to burn her from the inside out. Then she would rip each finger off before allowing the woman to die.
Saskia had already been cleared for activities such as vigorous exercise and that included sparring. The doctors had said that she should be wary of tightness and slight soreness of the lower abdomen, but had also told her she was as healthy as before. Physical therapy sessions told the doctors that she had healed completely.
And now Saskia had to convince Harumi to spar with her.
"It's been two months!" Saskia complained. "The doctors have cleared me for sparring."
"Why don't we wait another few weeks to make sure, Saki?" Harumi asked over the phone. "Sure, the surgery went well but you are still injured."
"Haru, the docs told me I'm healed, like completely healed," Saskia countered. "They already took the staples out and I've been going to physical therapy. They've said I'm as healed and healthy as before. Just come and spar with me, I need to get my anger out physically."
"You know we're not supposed to spar when we are angry," Harumi said.
Saskia sighed. "Fine. You're right. I'm still going to the gym to have a go at the punching bags though."
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Saskia dressed in a matching black sports bra and legging set with the latex gloves. Her hair was tightly french braided and wouldn't get in her way.
She took a breath in and exhaled slowly, letting the tension in her body release as she felt the chills of adrenaline line her blood stream with the first jab at the red haired punching bag.
Freddie Lounds was stupid enough to let Saskia into her room.
As soon as the journalist had turned around, Saskia had the small needle and jabbed it into the base of Freddie's hairline, far up enough that it wouldn't be found unless you looked extremely closely. It was a strong sedative that would wash out of her system within an hour, leaving no trace. It would only paralyse her enough for maybe twenty minutes so Saskia acted fast.
Saskia found out that Freddie kept handcuffs in one of her bags, using them to handcuff her hands to the top of the bed frame while using two of the woman's thin scarves to tie her legs to the other end.
By researching for her book trilogy, Saskia found out several different ways to kill someone and now she was able to test a theory out. From her research, Robert Berdella had used drain cleaner injected into the larynx, or more commonly known as a voice box, to make his victim silent while he tortured them.
Saskia loved the fact that her victims knew they wouldn't survive when they saw the look on her face. The fear and pain in their eyes allowed Saskia to feel the rush of the hunt when she saw Freddie begin to move around and open her eyes. Tears dripped down her cheeks as she tried to speak but found she couldn't.
"Finally awake, I see" Saskia smiled, watching Freddie begin to struggle and knowing that the handcuffs were very much too tight as her hands were beginning to look pale. "Let's just say I wasn't at all happy with the article you posted. It was very rude, don't you think? Hm, you can't reply, can you? Good."
Saskia straddled Freddie's bound form.
Unlike Robert Berdella, Saskia found no satisfaction in the sexual assault or rape of others so Freddie had nothing to worry about. It held no fun for her unlike murder. She had never even thought of doing it nor would she ever. Even the simple thought of it greatly disgusted her.
"We are very similar in some ways, didn't you know?" Saskia said, easily using a scalpel to cut the front of Freddie's shirt open. At Freddie's even more terrified look, she shook her head. "I'm not interested in that. I'm interested in your ribcage for now. You were right when you said I had a narcissistic personality. I know I'm a narcissistic, not because I think I am better than you, it's because I know I am.
"But I am like you and you are like me in some respects. We both like writing for example about murders and killings, but yours is factual and mine is fictional. We both don't feel shame for the things we have done to get to where we are. Guilt and shame don't control us but perhaps it should have controlled you because if you had thought of the consequences of pissing off the one person who literally researches how to kill people for their job, you wouldn't be in this situation."
Freddie kept shaking her head and struggling, tears dripping down her face but it didn't affect Saskia. Tears never did. The fear and knowledge that Freddie would die and the woman knew she would, brought a strange sense of rightness and satisfaction for Saskia.
Saskia paused in thought before smiling.
Freddie didn't like that look on Saskia even more now, knowing that Saskia thought of something even worse. The flash of teeth made Freddie even more anxious, the hungry look in Saskia's eyes seemed to increase as she struggled in the handcuffs.
Freddie wanted to scream as the pain and burn started on her sternum, Saskia was carving a word there, making sure it was big and very deep. Freddie withered and bucked under Saskia but the woman wasn't deterred from her writing. She didn't know how long she was in pain for but it could have been for seconds or hours and Freddie couldn't tell the difference as Saskia poured the drain cleaner into the wound to make it burn.
Saskia slapped Freddie across the face when Freddie turned her head to the side, making Freddie bite her tongue by accident. She spat at Saskia, missing her face and only hitting her on the neck but Saskia wasn't pleased.
"Don't. Even. Think." Saskia said each word as she carved a new word just underneath this one already. "About doing that again."
Sasia leaned forward so she was hovering over Freddie's face as she tried to butt the woman in the face. Saskia used a hand in the red curls to keep her face in place as Saskia used the scalpel to slice her cheek deeply. Saskia watched the blood begin to well up to the surface and slowly make its way down.
"Blood has always fascinated me, and the taste…" Freddie cringed as she felt Saskia's warm tongue lick down her cheek to catch the blood. Freddie shivered as Saskia whispered into her ear. "I love the taste. I'd love to see how human flesh tastes like."
Twenty minutes later, Saskia began to pour the gasoline all around the room, making sure to leave enough on Freddie as the woman watched. Saskia was finishing up before chucking the thing to the side. With one final slice to the throat, she watched as Freddie's eyes began to lose their fire and life as blood dripped.
Saskia burned a long piece of paper, lighting one end and letting the other touch a line of gasoline. It would allow her time to leave with the small package in hand.
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"Evening," Saskia greeted, coming into the kitchen. After the ordeal earlier, Saskia had come home, showered and dressed again in something new before going out for ingredients. She put the ingredients on the island as she spoke. "How was work?"
"Busy today," Hannibal said, undoing his coat as Will stood next to him getting a glass of water. "Did you hear that Freddie Lounds is dead?"
Saskia grinned sheepishly and brought out the small brown wrapping. "Somewhat. I brought a special little something for dinner."
"What did you bring?" Hannibal asked and unwrapped the meat.
Will shook his head as he looked closer at the meat and then to Saskia. "You did well in hiding your evidence."
"Of course I did," Saskia said. "I've researched enough ways to hide it. Hannibal, what should we cook with it? I have a feeling I might indulge with this."
"Why did you kill her?" Hannibal asked, his eyes searching Saskia's as she shrugged.
"She mentioned my father in her article, and Will knows I don't like him being mentioned," Saskia tilted her head. "None of us have to deal with her anymore. She was a delight to get rid of."
"I'll make a lomo saltado," Hannibal took his coat off properly before gesturing for Will to do the same. "Saskia, do you want to slice the ginger?"
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The dish consisted of the meat being thinly sliced and marinated in vinegar, soy sauce and spices, and stir fried these with red onions, parsley, tomatoes. Adding in the rice and potatoes, the dish looked heavenly and even Saskia wanted to drool at the smell and sight.
She had her own serving of this.
For the first time in almost two decades, Saskia had meat touch her plate and she did not regret this decision in eating it. The meat was tender but chewy, much like beef but with a sweeter tone that was shortly followed by a citrusy finish.
The two men just watched as Saskia took the first bite, her eyes widening in shock at the flavour before she grinned and continued eating without a complaint.
"I'm quite surprised you decided to join us," Will said, sipping at the red wine Hannibal had chosen for the meal.
Hannibal looked to her as he had a bite. "Is it to your liking?"
"I think you've converted me back to omnivore," Saskia gulped her drink before having another piece. "This is so good and with the benefit of Freddie Lounds being gone! How wonderful."
"Will you start eating meat again?"
Saskia paused. "I'll have to think about it but perhaps I might go back to cow and pig. I never liked birds and you are still not getting me near fish. I remember crab being good."
"Crab is tender yet with a tinge of stringiness depending on how it is done,"
They all smiled as Countess whined loudly, hating the fact that she wasn't getting any meat.
"Saskia," Hannibal began. "When you were with Will in Lithuania, when you killed that man, Yasha, did your heart race?"
It took her a moment or two to think and remember. "No. It stayed steady and calm, perhap climbing a bit because of the movement but not because I was killing him. Why?"
"A low heart rate is a true indicator of one's capacity for violence," Hannibal turned to Will. "When you killed Miss Lounds, did your heart rate rise?"
"If anything, killing her made it go down," Will said. "We never truly found out what happened the night Samson Tyler was killed. What happened to him?"
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Three years ago…
Samson Tyler knew that Saskia had a routine she didn't like to diverge from.
Saskia always liked to go on a walk in the mornings, regardless of how cold or how tired she was, she left the house at four in the morning. With that mutt of hers, he had to be careful for the coming weeks as he watched her from afar. He knew her routine since it didn't diverge much. He loved the fact that she was paranoid and didn't sleep much, he loved the control he had over her while he wasn't even there.
He never realised that Saskia knew he was watching her.
Spending a month stalking her, he knew exactly where she would be that day. Saskia made sure to keep her routine just as predictable as Leroy and Liam entered the country. Just as Samson knew Saskia's routine, she knew his. Between the hours of five and seven, he would watch her walk through the path in the forest.
Samson followed Saskia that night, letting her keep far enough that he wouldn't be heard and never seen. He didn't see the hand that silenced him or felt the kick at his knee that caused him to fall. He lost consciousness because of a chloroform cloth placed over his mouth, quickly succumbing to the darkness as they pulled his body away.
He awoke in a strange place, a bright light in his face. Groggy and confused, he tried to move and found that his limbs were spread out like a star and strapped to a X shaped wooden structure. With chatter in front of him, he turned his blurry eyes to try and look past the light.
Samson flinched as a new face appeared in front of his face. He didn't recognise this face.
The new man slapped him across the face, making him swear in pain. "Hello, Samson! Pleasure to see you tonight. I hope you're up for a nightly run in the forest because that's what you're gonna be doing!"
"Who the fuck are you?"
"I'm a friend of someone you shouldn't have abused,"
"Who are you even talking about? I never abuse anyone, unless you're talking about the whore that tried to kill me?" Samson was slapped again before the man in front of him punched him in the kidneys to wind him.
A hand touched the man's arm, stopping him as the woman now came into the light. "Liam, don't hurt him just yet."
"You!"
The bitch he was trying to get back was in front of him. Saskia held his face in one hand and used the other to hold a knife and slice a large cut on his left cheek.
"Hello, Samson," Saskia smiled, holding his chin in her hands as the blood dripped. "You should have left me alone. Now these two will have their fun with you before they let me end you. If you think I was trying to kill you when I ran the first time, you were out of your mind. This time you will be dead by the end."
"I'll get you for this! You want me still or I'd be dead by now!"
"No, I'll make you run until you cannot and then you will have to fight,"
"You're a psychopath!" He tried to spit in her face but it dropped short.
Saskia made the cut on his cheek deeper, straining his neck painfully until she heard a loud click and a sudden scream from him. She patted his cheek as he groaned.
"I prefer creative." Saskia turned to the other two men. "Have your fun but make sure it is done within two hours. Remember, right shoulder dislocated, left forearm broken, right leg fractured, and finally, his left ankle sprained. He should feel how I did. "
"And after?" Liam asked.
Saskia took a breath before sending them both cold looks. "After this, I don't want to see either of you ever again."
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Present day
Saskia finished her retelling. "Leroy gave me a hug and left straight away but Liam didn't want to leave. I left without looking back. I wanted to leave that part of me behind."
"What part of you do you mean?" Hannibal asked.
"The part of me that needs someone else to be there to be stable,"
Will narrowed his eyes as he took another bite of food before speaking. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"When I was dating Samson, my concentration was on him and I didn't have this desire to hurt people as much. With Leroy, it was the same." Saskia took a breath in, having finished her meal and now just sipped at her wine glass. "It's one of the reasons I got Countess, I have her now so I don't need either of them, or anyone for that matter."
"Are you certain about that, Saskia?" Hannibal inquired.
She swirled the glass, watching the red liquid stain the glass. "I'm—" She shook her head and ran a hand down her face. "I'm not certain but I prefer to think I am to contain some degree of control over myself. I hate not being in control. It's probably why I let you drug me, so I could fool myself into thinking it was my decision when it really wasn't."
"You've got a problem with control,"
"Very much so," She leaned back into the chair, her shoulders slumping a little. "It's due to me not having enough control in my own life when I was younger."
"Killing people gives you a sense of control. You didn't move universities because you wanted to, you moved because you wanted an excuse to leave Leroy Harris. You controlled Leroy Harris until he tried to control you and you bolted. You let Samson control you because you knew you were in control all along until he proposed and you bolted before he could tie you down," Will looked to his plate before looking at Hannibal while still addressing Saskia. "You pretend to be this… humane person, not eating meat, hating animal abuse, but you are not humane in the way you kill. You kill because you can have control."
Saskia gritted her teeth, hating how correct Will was with his analyment of her and her actions. "You are right about the killings but you are also wrong."
"Then tell me how I am wrong, Saskia,"
"I don't kill just because I like having control, I kill because I like killing," Saskia tapped her finger against the side of her glass, watching the liquid ripple. "I love the sight of blood, the taste. The pain I inflict is an impulse, a desire ingrained into me. A strong one. It started off with hurting others before I realised I couldn't hurt others without getting in trouble, I started to hurt myself. I didn't do it often, only when the impulse hit."
Hannibal then asked, "Is the impulse a need?"
"It's not a need. I just feel better when I give into the want of creating chaos." Saskia placed both arms onto the table before looking at the ceiling. "What is your theory on why people kill? Why some are more likely than others?"
"Humans need to evolve and some people prevent that and need to be killed. A very select few can do this without mentally breaking down because we aren't meant to kill in huge quantities," Will shrugged. "Some of us are just feel like not enough people die and too many prevent us from evolving."
"So you're telling me that my impulses to kill and hurt come from human biology that was used by ancient societies to keep the human race thriving? Wow." Saskia muttered to herself before sighing and getting up from the table. "I'm going to head to bed. It's been a long day. Hannibal, do you need any help?"
Hannibal stood up, taking all of the plates and piling them all neatly. "No, I can do this. Head to bed before you fall asleep standing. Thank you though. Will, do you want some more wine?"
"No, no thank you," Will mumbled as he watched Saskia quickly disappear away from the room. "Do we have any beer?"
"In the fridge," Hannibal nodded as they both headed to the kitchen to clean up.
Will leaned against the counter, his back against it as he drank his beer and allowed Hannibal to wash up the dishes. Running a hand down his face, Will sighed as Hannibal watched him from the corner of his eye.
"What do you think of tonight?" Hannibal asked, placing a plate on the drying rack before taking another to clean. "Of what she did tonight?"
"She killed Freddie Lounds because she wanted to, she already told us she that she didn't like the woman but to go to the lengths of carving Guilt and Shame into Freddie's sternum? That goes into tourtue category," Will shook his head. "If she isn't more careful, she will be caught. I don't want her to be caught."
"She was careful to make sure everything was burnt beyond recognition," Hannibal said, finishing up before handing Will a rag to help him dry the plates and cutlery. "As much as she wants to, she can't keep this side of herself under control. Either she does as she did before with harming herself, or killing others, Saskia needs to see blood and pain to dull those desires of hers."
Will harshly put his bottle down after another swig. "She needs to be in control with something. Her main focus is on relationships but she refuses to let herself go into another one because of Harris and Tyler. If she wanted a relationship with us, either of us or both of us, she would refuse to acknowledge those feelings in fear of losing the last thing she had control of, herself."
"If she is scared of losing control over herself, she would become more aggressive towards us to try and keep us away. To push us away is to keep herself safe, or so she thinks but it is just damaging her emotional well being." Hannibal took a breath in, smelling the sweet spice in the air before calling out. "Stop loitering out there, Saskia."
Will stiffened before relaxing, watching as Saskia turned on the kitchen doorway before crossing her arms and leaning against it.
"How long did you know I was there?" She asked.
Hannibal countered, seeing her reflection through the window. "How much did you hear?"
"Enough to know that you're trying to figure me out," She clicked her tongue, scratching the back of her neck as she didn't feel comfortable in this conversation. "How's it going for yah? Figured me out? Psychoanalysed me to your heart's content yet? If I wanted to be psychoanalysed, I would go to Alana."
"You killed Freddie Lounds and carved her like a pig," Hannibal said. "You wanted approval and so brought home the kill. You did something animals do when they want approval of a mate."
Saskia shook her head, refusing to believe this was true. "Hannibal, we had sex once. I don't see how this works with the mate thing. I don't look for approval from anyone, I don't need approval anymore. I have gone beyond needing validation from people!" With each word, Saskia started to become angry but it was out of fear and frustration.
"I'm not speaking of sex. I'm speaking of companionship." Hannibal turned around to face her, finding that she moved to stand on the other side of the island. Her eyes wide and bright as she felt the rush of something within her bloodstream. "Will brought Ranell Tier because he was attacked but found that he could find approval for his actions from me, from us. You killed Freddie Lounds in an attempt to control yourself but even as you killed her, you thought of needing our approval and so you brought a piece of her. Like a beast hungry for approval and companionship, you brought home a kill for us to feast on."
"What?" Saskia whispered, trying to control her mind for a moment as it realised.
"I think Hannibal is trying to say that our courtship hasn't been the most common thing around," Will shook his head at Hannibal's wording of meanings. "When you asked me to help kill Yasha, you sought my approval and when I agreed, you had it and you knew you had it. You subconsciously knew that I was happy with you but you didn't know if Hannibal was happy with you being with us. You sought out a kill to give to him as a token of your worthiness without realising."
"No. No. Nonono." Saskia shook her head, backing away slowly as she saw to herself. "I'm not doing this. No. Not happening. Not again."
"You're backing away because you know we are right," Will stopped her by the elbow, quickly making her look at him as he saw the fear and disbelief in her eyes. "You're scared because you think this makes you lose control over yourself. You don't lose control of yourself just because you admit something. I didn't lose control of myself when I realised that I was similar to Hannibal, or when I realised I felt something for him. We all may have repressed emotions that refuse to work properly, but we can all see it in the way we act around each other."
Saskia shook Will's hands off of her arms, crossing them tightly to try and comfort herself as she tried to finally understand. "What do you mean?"
"When you were in severe pain for that single day, Hannibal came to your house and fed you. He doesn't do that to anyone but me, not even Abigail. Both times when you were stabbed, Hannibal and I came to visit. The second time we stayed overnight to make sure you were alright and safe." Will watched her cringe, curling her shoulders up as she felt chills going down her. "When Hannibal suggested that you stay at his instead of going into Witness protection, it was to keep you closer and within our reach. During Christmas when Mason Verger danced with you, we instantly knew you didn't like to be touched by him and so we intervened and made sure you didn't have to dance with him again. We killed that other man because he hurt you. I helped you kill Yasha because you asked."
Hannibal stood next to Will, a little to the side of her to make sure she didn't bolt. "Did you think we would do any of that if we were not interested in acquiring you as a companion, Saskia?"
"I just thought you did all of that to get me to trust you and to make me easier to manipulate… That's what Leroy did…"
"We're not him and we will never be," Will shook his head. "I want to be there for you like I am there for Hannibal. I want you to know that I don't allow those who I consider mine to be harmed, nor does Hannibal, and we both know you wouldn't either."
"Will," Hannibal turned to him. "Let's give her some time to think over it. You don't need to give us an answer straight away. You can have some time to truly think of what you want, Saskia. But please, don't leave without telling us."
Saskia nodded, her heart in her throat as it throbbed painfully and felt like she was choking. She quickly exited the kitchen and spent hours upstairs pacing the length of her room, unsure of how she wanted to express what she wanted.
She knew she wanted both men sexually, that was easily seen and accepted, but did she want them just as lovers or perhaps partners? Did she want them temporarily? That didn't feel right.
Permanent partners felt closer to what she truly wanted but she didn't want to accept it.
Fear of commitment did that.
She didn't want to be controlled again, nor manipulated.
Saskia rubbed her hands together as she paced, trying to get her mind in order before realising that she needed to use her mind less and use her instincts more. There was too much noise in her head when she thought so she pushed that down and only focused on her feelings.
The little fox trilled a sound, making Saskia look at it by her feet. The fox walked over to the closed door and pawed at it, looking back at Saskia before looking at the door. Saskia took a breath and opened her door. The fox trotted over to Hannibal's bedroom, the light in there indicated that they were still awake. The fox gave her a dirty look when she didn't open the door straight away.
By the time Saskia got the courage to knock, she knew she was trembling in anxiety. Saskia heard the come in before opening it and entering, her hands clasped onto her arms like vipers unwilling to let go of the rabbit they caught.
Saskia licked her dry lips, biting it as she observed the fox trotting over to the wolf and stag in front of the fireplace as Hannibal and Will got up from the bed. All three had donned night clothes already, so they were already dressed for bed.
"I want to try," Saskia admitted. "I want to have a working relationship with someone that can actually understand me and not say I'm being stupid or selfish. If you're both willing, I want to try to have a relationship that is more than just me trying to control someone. I want to have a selfless us instead of a selfish me. I wanted both of your approvals without even realising myself. I want you both as partners more than I want to have control."
"And all it took was you almost breaking down in fear of admitting it to admit it," Will said, a soft smile of amusement on his lips as he held a hand out for Saskia. She clasped the hand in hers, taking a soft breath in as the weight of rocks left her. "I think it's time for bed, don't you think, Hannibal?"
"Emotional exhaustion is very much tiring," Hannibal nodded, letting all three of them walk over to the bed.
"Today was just long," Saskia countered as they all climbed into bed, finding that she was in the middle this time.
It felt warm and right as she fell asleep with both of them on either side of her.
The little fox shifted into a beautiful woman, taking human form just as the wolf and stag did the same. The three sat before the fire, the Wendigo leaning against the base of the bed as the Lycan leaned on one side and the Kistune draped herself over both their legs. They lounged as their counterparts finally accepted what was meant to be, these three knew but their human selves didn't. The Kitsune, known for trickery and mischief, was also known to be careful to be not trapped.
She knew she would be happy if she was trapped with these two.
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AN: I'm so happy with where this went! I hope it feels natural and not rushed but since I wrote it, I would be biased to say that it is or isn't.