A/N: This is ultimately dedicated to Kishimoto, Japanese animation as a culture in general, the fanfiction community, and to everyone (like me) still trying to grow up without growing old.
After nearly 10 years, I was not sure what this fic looked like, or what it was meant to be, anymore. But I made a decision after re-reading it and (finally!) finishing the Naruto series, to just complete it because it really has a special place in my heart. Plus, Gaara is the purest character I have ever known and I am a romantic and I know one of the reasons I created this fic is because ffs he DESERVES have a love interest (of my making).
A bit more on my story down below, but right now enjoy chapter 26. :)
Hurting
Seki turned around and watched the young shinobi with the Konoha headband walk towards her. He dug into his weapons sling bag and took out a kunai.
"Kiroku Kasou?"
"Yes," a strangely high pitched voice, almost feminine, came out of the boy's mouth. "What's your main ability?"
"I embed chakra in air."
"I attack from a distance. I also use genjutsu, and it looks like Niji does as well," Kiroku gestured behind Seki with the kunai, who turned and saw a rainbow-clad shinobi across the terrain, knelt down and making hand seals.
"How do you know?"
"Why else would you dress like that, if you did not know how to disappear?"
Seki raised her eyebrow at the assumption, but mentally agreed it was the most likely case.
"So, what should we do?"
"I don't want to get trapped in his genjutsu before I unleash mine, but we shouldn't let him finish whatever he's planning..."
When Kiroku stared twirling his kunai, no apparent intention to move, Seki felt her face harden slightly. She had been prepared for this since they said team work was assessed during the Jounin exams: she was always only ever useful as the sacrifice.
"I'll be the guinea pig."
"Alright. Let me come up with a plan," Kiroku barely finished before Seki was already spinning away, throwing out a few wind thrusts at Niji.
"This Houseki Raion really comes off strong," Zehi muses as he followed the orange streaks of the kunoichi's hair more than her lithe body.
"I like it, passionate and determined," Naruto replied.
"Hm, it's not a good look for a Jounin. Looks like arrogance."
"Didn't you say you had a subordinate like that in the exams?"
"Exactly," Zehi thought of Raku's act-first-regret-later attitude. "It doesn't help you make friends."
"Maybe she doesn't want friends," Gaara mused despite himself. Naruto's ears pricked up at the sudden softness of the Kazekage's voice.
"Why wouldn't she?"
Gaara looked back, almost surprised he had voiced it out loud and shook his head. The Hokage would ask him later, he imagined. Right now, he was distracted by Seki skilfully manoeuvring around Niji, preventing the latter from completing some kind of summoning technique.
Seki threw a few spinning kicks, but the multitude of colours on Niji's pants were messing with her vision and she missed, kicking air. After a while, she realised parts of Niji looked as if they disappearing in midair. Feeling something amiss, Seki leapt away and flooded chakra through her internal nervous system. Immediately, she felt her vision sharpen.
"Your chakra is kinda messed up, isn't it?" Niji called to her, flinging a series of shurikens. Seki dodged, but one cut the top of her arm and she hissed from the sting. When she looked back towards Niji, half of him had disappeared. She suddenly felt an itchiness on the insides of her eyelids, as if something was scratching to come out.
Stretching out her left arm, she sliced a tiny line along her tattoo of the carnation stalk with her wind and focused on regaining control over her inner chakra system again.
"I don't usually find it this hard to catch someone's vision."
"Maybe you should add some colour to your wardrobe," Seki sneered sarcastically.
Something bloody.
The kunoichi shot forwards like a bullet, right arm extended with kunai in hand, and wrapped wind on her body to streamline the air resistance around her. She was zooming past Niji before he had time to register her speed.
When Seki landed on the opposite wall, she relished the blood dripping from Niji's calf. Blasting off again, she tasted a menace like rust spreading under her tongue, carving deeper cuts into Niji before he could think to move. She felt something hot and sharp sparking at the top of her spine, her brain reverberating wildly.
Suddenly, something hit the back of her head and she spun round to see Kiroku from the other end of the stadium waving his kunai. In the foggy bloodlust, Seki half-snarled, ready to bend in a predatory position until the cries of the audience distracted her. Turning back to Niji, she realised the shinobi had replaced his butchered body with a nearby rock. The real Niji was unharmed, a good few meters away.
Tsch! Annoying little-
Seki punched the side of her head, gaining some curious onlookers. The rusty darkness slowly faded away into the recesses of her mind, and her eyes stayed a clear and bright red. She jumped back towards her partner, who didn't question that behaviour.
"Are you good with taijutsu?"
"Of course," Seki bristled automatically, but Kiroku didn't look like he was trying to put her down. He was still twirling the kunai on a finger.
"Alright, I need you to attack with that first. After that you can use your wind."
"What are you going to do?"
"What genjutsu users always do," Kiroku chirped, flicking the kunai into his grip, expression calm, disconcerting against Seki's tense face, "support you."
The audience was loudly murmuring as Kiroku now followed swiftly behind Seki but stayed a distance away as she fought, fingers clasped in a Ram sign. There was an 'ooh' sound as Seki landed a heavy kick on Niji's shoulder, and Gaara realised she was winning some fans from her earlier show of butchery. Boosting her taijutsu with her wind abilities, Seki used gusts of air to balance out her feints and attacks. Niji looked indifferent to her strikes however, and continued to make hand seals while parrying their attacks.
Against Seki and Niji, Kiroku looked rather uninteresting, even if some of his kunais successfully cut Niji. Before Gaara and Zehi could ask, Naruto answered as if he knew his Kage friends would be curious.
"Kiroku has short ranged genjutsu abilities, just like Niji. He is probably the most helpful in a team fight because he knows how to support people."
"What does he do?"
Naruto turns to Zehi, an embarrassed grin on his face, suggesting he was once subjected to Kiroku's skills.
"He makes the opponent underestimate him."
Niji bent backwards as Seki's foot swung above him, the glint of a shuriken tacked on the sole of her sandals sending goosebumps down his back. This girl was getting too close for comfort and he liked his unscarred face, thank you very much. He leapt back, narrowly avoiding a flying kunai stab from Kiroku, who seemed less graceful and accurate than Seki's attacks.
He made two more blocks: Kiroku from below his left knee, Seki at the back of his neck, before biting his thumb, letting the blood drip onto his opponents. Niji jumped into the sky and did a final Bird seal.
"Kisetsu no Yume!"
Seki felt a tingle where Niji's blood had landed on her arm, and her eyes widened. Niji knew what she was looking at: a small cherry blossom tree was rapidly growing from her skin. When she tried to scrape it off, her other hand would seemingly latch onto the bark and sprout weeds from the back of her palm. She looked around, possibly realising she was in a genjutsu, but the disgusting physical sensation of plants taking root in her was too realistic and distracting.
"Houseki, now!" Niji glanced at Kiroku, brushing his four limbs in a panic as he visualised his body falling apart into autumn leaves. He really wasn't much of an opponent, even if he tried to sound authoritative.
"Finally! Kaze Hari!"
Niji spotted the wind whirring in the shape of needles and dodged them as they shot from Seki's fingertips in a semi-circle. Her face scrunched up in a grimace, Niji realised she was still trapped in his genjutsu, just haphazardly aiming her wind attacks. He twisted his chakra internally, creating an image of himself standing where Kiroku was so she would assume the genjutsu had been dispelled by her wind attacks. Seki swivelled her head and wound her arms back.
"Fuuton: Taifuu Ken!"
The air between her palms surged into a giant sword, aimed towards Kiroku's body. Niji took a split second to wonder if he should release the genjutsu before or after Kiroku was pierced. He couldn't help but smile as he pointed his kunai at Seki's neck, delighted in overcoming two opponents. Niji spoke to Seki's ear, confidence dripping from his voice.
"If you want to hit me, aim like you want to kill me."
"You sure about that?"
Niji jolted, since Seki's voice came from behind him, not in front. The body he was locking into a chokehold disappeared, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kiroku's body fade as well. His surroundings wobbled slightly in his vision, and suddenly he became aware of Seki's giant wind sword tearing a hole in his rainbow top from behind.
Seki chuckled darkly as Niji spun around, but in the process gashed himself with the wind sword in her grasp. He dropped to his knee, holding on to his now bleeding side as the referee started towards them.
"Wait, what-"
"Be careful, Niji, you're pretty beat up. Don't strain yourself."
The mocking tone in her voice sounded both annoying and threatening. Niji felt a retort in his throat but flinched as he suddenly felt an ache in his knee and neck. He looked down and gasped when he realised he was bleeding from numerous places.
"What?! When did this-!"
"Sorry, but you were in my genjutsu from Houseki's first kick," Kiroku come out from behind Seki, interrupting Niji. He extended a hand, but the latter narrowed his eyes and ignored it.
"Well, someone's feeling touchy," Kiroku grumbled as Niji struggled to pull himself up, using the referee who just arrived as a support.
"Excuse me if those less powerful than Konahagakure are more wary of trusting others."
"Look where distrust got you," Seki leered, "All cut up and bleeding."
Niji grimaced. Is it me, or are the colour of her eyes a shade darker than before?
Just then, the referee announced: "Winners of the match: Kiroku Kasou and Houseki Raion!" and something seemed to snap Seki out of her devilish aura. Blinking, she straightened herself and stepped back towards Kiroku as the referee offered his arm.
Tsk, Niji grumbled in his mind as he took it, and everything was going well too. How in the world did I lose?
"My genjutsu made him think he was avoiding all your attacks and trapping both of us in his genjutsu," Kiroku responded to Seki's unasked question as Niji hobbled away.
"What? Did he not feel anything from my wind needles?"
"I tied my chakra to yours, when you landed your first kick. After that I just stayed close enough to numb his physical sensations with my genjutsu. To be very honest, we have very similar genjutsu styles. It'd be interesting to work together."
"So he didn't realise he was getting hurt at all. Scary," Seki whistled, unconsciously impressed by the unassuming Kiroku. The latter shrugged.
"That's why no one should work alone," Kiroku turned, but not before giving a small smile to Seki, "Thanks for offering to test him earlier."
Seki blinked. She watched as Kiroku walked off to the exit, feeling a little uncomfortable as she realised she had misjudged her partner for the entire match. Kiroku had worked well with Seki's abilities because he accepted her abilities without question, as if that was the most natural thing to do. Seki was not used to that.
If Gaara was being perfectly honest, he was not himself during the last match. His mind was working at both the highest and lowest speeds it had ever been: the image of Houseki Raion walking off to the exit was replaying over and over again in his head, and a thousand different questions flew around, bouncing off the walls of his skull.
How has she been?
Is she the same Seki?
Why did I not realise she was participating?
Is Keimyou with her?
Was it a Takigakure hiate-ate she was wearing?
Does she remember me?
The last question jolted him back to the present as the referee announced the last pair of winners and the crowd gave a final applause, beginning to slowly file out of the stadium. Naruto was bidding Zehi farewell by the time Gaara stood up – his feet felt like lead.
"Come on."
"Naruto?"
"We're going for a walk Gaara. You can take your time to talk."
"... Thank you."
It has been years, but Gaara is still surprised at how little he expects from the people around him to notice his emotional fluctuations. He doesn't understand if this is something he will outgrow or have to endure for the rest of his life. It does feel good to be cared for, though.
Hinata is outside the door as Naruto and him are leaving. She cocks her head, curious at the strange vibe the two Kages were giving off. Naruto grins at her, "If you see Shikamaru, tell him to have a full report on the participants by tomorrow morning. I'll see him then!"
"I will. Take care, Kazekage!"
Gaara smiled at the Hyuuga girl and followed Naruto's lead.
After the debrief, Seki quickly escaped the other participants who were beginning to make small talk with each other (trying to resolved bad blood or something similarly unnecessary) and sought some place quiet.
It was a while before she found the top of the stone sculptures of the previous Hokages – Konohagakure is packed with people even though it is one of the largest villages. Even in Sunagakure there was always some space in a deserted alleyway or a square to walk around; here, the neighbourhood was bustling with crowds.
Seki couldn't stand it.
No one realises how dangerous it is.
You could make them realise it.
Biting her tongue, Seki punched her head again, determined to shut out the voice she had been struggling to tame. After the 5 years of very focused meditation, she knew how to direct her chakra to press down on select nerves and calm certain receptors down. It was not advised if one wanted to be alert to their surroundings, but it helped shut off her brain which had been working overtime in the last few hours. Having to battle new opponents, in new surroundings and with new partners, adrenaline was becoming just as big a trigger as emotional turmoil to set off the effects of the poison. This was a risk Keimyou, Tomiro and her agreed to take in order for Seki to become a recognised shinobi out in the world again.
If she had a choice, she would never use the Nibi's power again, but she couldn't stop the body's natural processes during a fight. Seki wonders if it all really belonged to the poison, or if her anxieties were at play too. If only she could just take away the damn bloodlust; she was getting tired having to constantly be on guard of herself. It's like she's angry all the time – if not at herself, then at her environment because there was always something or someone there to trigger her. First, it was that invasive Raku, then all that taijutsu she had used in almost back to back fights; finally, just the smell of blood from Niji's wounds-
"Stop," Seki said aloud, irritation lining her brow. She breathed out, concentrating on her chakra patterns.
Just stop. Stop thinking. Stop feeling. Stop everything.
It's the only way she knew to stay safe, to keep others safe. The sun slowly set as silence descended upon her.
A/N: I've never forgotten about this fic, but I had (and always have) this weird tick to want to write things that could be canon. I spent a long time thinking and wondering if I really wanted to finish this fic even though there were so many things that are just out of whack according to the canon timeline e.g. no Third Raikage, A and Killer Bee, Madara and Fourth Great Shinobi War, and yet Sasuke returns and is friends again with his whole post-Madara/Kaguya character development story arc intact (because it was beautifully done and I cried too much and I want this development in my fic.)
I am continuing this fic for the simple aim of finishing it. I saw this manga/show as a metaphor about growing up, and isn't it serendipitous to finish this fic when I myself have grown quite a bit? Also, with all the progress I've made in various aspects of my own character (writing skills, views on the world, sense of mental health and self identity) I like the idea of my life's journey being reflected in my fantasy writing.
It is really so silly of me to presume I can't write fanfiction (clue is in the name) just because it no longer fits the canon. I hope you all agree, and enjoy whatever I have produced for the next few chapters. If by some miracle, you actually saw this story back in 2009, I thank you for being here and witnessing this strange process.
Once again, these characters do not belong to me, and thank you all for reading.