Episode 26.
My Obi wan is Mustached Idiot.
(Gravity falls intro plays.)
(Dipper, Mark, Dib, Vana, Jack, Mac, Aang, Sokka, Kitty, Trever, Eric, Momo and Appa brave the Mountain snowstorms, As they make it out they come to what lies before them.)
(Wendy Testaburger looks behind her and waves as the scene pans out to reveal South park.)
(Dipper is Dragged away from the Group and embraces Mabel, Than get scoop up in Randy's arms.)
(Dib and Vana show Mark and Jack a large footprint inside a bigger footprint, Scenes show the school and Forests of Crossover town.)
Dipper and Mabel.
Brian and Stewie.
Stan Kyle Kenny and Cartman.
Wendy Testaburger.
Chef, Mr Garrison and Randy marsh.
(Dipper, Mabel and the marsh family sit around a campfire, While the shape of a snake head lurks in the shadows.)
(Scenes of Dr Eggman, Tak, Cluny the Scourge and the Horned King appear, Along with Lord Jargafar removing his hood in the shadows.)
(Several scenes with different Characters appear.)
Crossover legends.
Dipper, Mabel, Mark, Randy, Brian, Stewie and Wendy all screamed as the open Car they were in rattled down the Stairs. It flew off the first landing and It's occupants flew out of that in slow motion.
Pause.
Dipper: Hey, You stop to wonder, How the Fuck did I get here? God, The things that have happened since piedmont, First I find a Gem of ultimate power and the last of an extinct culture, Get chased and Attacked by Several Assholes, Nearly died keeping a useless machine from one of them, Found out my sister has been hanging out with Douchebags, One of whom is dating our Cousin, I end up on a Hunting trip turned Volcano chase with his Uncle and War buddy, Watched a Mutant clone of him destroy the town, And me, My Uncle, Sister and Cousin are in a car chase with his Dad, Being pursued by Anonymous Killers, How did it get like this? Well… Funny story.
Flashback.
It all started after the Science Fair Project last week, Dipper had settled into Crossover town pretty well, Despite the recent Shenanigans with Aliens, ScuzzleButt and Clone Stan, He managed to find life in Crossover town a good break, Barely saw the guys though, And spent much of his Time, With Mabel, Wendy and the Boys, Adn Brian and Stewie on a few occasions.
One night, The Twins along with Wendy, Their Uncle's Mark and Harold, And Aunt Valory had sat down to dinner, Jack had also bean invited.
Mark: So, How was school?
Wendy: Very good, I just got another A on my Math test.
Harold: Uh Huh.
Mabel: You guess wanna see a magic trick?
Mabel sucked up a Spaghetti String and nearly spit it out like a frog at Mark.
Mark: What… Was that?
Mabel: I was trying to be a Frog.
Dipper: You said it was a magic trick.
Mabel: Uh… It was a magic frog?
Valory: Don't play with your food Mabel.
Jack then got up.
Jack: Well, If anyone needs me, I'll be shedding fur in the guest bedroom.
He then went up stairs.
Dipper: That's where me and Mabel sleep.
Jack: I meant in Mark's.
Mark: What?! Oh no you don't.
Mark then hurried up the stairs.
Dipper: We have more than one guest bedroom?
Just then there was a knock at the door.
Wendy: I'll get it.
Wendy went to the door and found Stan there.
Stan: Wendy, Hi.
Wendy: Oh Hi Stan, What are you doing here?
Stan: Well I realized we haven't spent a lot of time lately so I thought I'd drop by and look you up.
Wendy: Look me up? Heh, Are you trying to sound generic?
Stan: Only for you babe.
Wendy Blushed.
Valory: Wendy, Who is it?
Wendy: It's just Stan mo-
Wendy then saw something behind Stan.
Stan: Wendy? What is it?
Behind Stan was… Uh… His dad dressed as in Fake glasses and an Otter suit… Who the Fuck wrote this bit? Not me.
Stan: Is something wrong-
Before Stan could answer, Wendy rushed to the door and Closed it before he could see.
Wendy: I uh… Didn't want the cold air getting in.
Stan blinked.
Wendy: So uh, Mom you wanna show Stan to the Kitchen?
Valory: Oh of course deer.
Valory got up and escorted Stan to the Kitchen.
Harold: Wendy, What's going on?
Wendy: Well… Uh… Dad, You know Stan?
Harold: Yes… You told me about him and I've seen him around and-
Wendy: His Dad's at the Door.
Harold: What?!
Valory: Uh?
Wendy: What should I do?
Harold: Don't let him in! Not with the Twins here!
Dipper: Don't let who in?
There was a knock at the door.
Stan: Who's that?
Harold: You're not being followed!
Stan: What?
Mabel: Who's at the door?
Wendy: No one Mabel, Just a telemarketer.
Randy: No I'm not.
Stan: What the?- Is that my Dad?
Harold: No it's not!
Mabel went to the door and opened it.
Harold: No don't!
But it was too late.
Stan: DAD?!
Randy: Hey Stan, Sorry for following you I wanted to meet you friends again.
Harold: Randy, Whatever you- Wait again?!
Harold looked at Dipper and Mabel.
Dipper: Yeah, We kinda… Met him a few days ago.
Mark then came down.
Mark: Who are you kids-?
Then he Saw Randy…
Mark: … FFFFFUUUUUUUU-!
20 seconds later.
Mark: FFFFFUUUUUUU-!
Many seconds later.
Mark: FFFFFUUUUUUUU-!
So much seconds later that the joke got old and they just cut to the chase.
Mark: … The Spawn… The Spawn…
Randy: Mark! Hey, Heard you were back.
Mark: Come no further Mother Fucker!
Randy: Oh come on, Are you still on about that "Incident" At the Zoo… Two years ago.
Flashback.
Mark: AHHH! TIGER'S GOT ME! TIGER'S GOT ME!
Randy slowly backs away.
Flashback.
Mark: It was at the Circus.
Jack: Mark, I heard you say Fuck, What's going on down- OH GOD NO!
Randy: Oh hey Jack! You're here too!
Jack: you're not supposed to be here, Dumbass!
Randy: Good to see you too.
Jack just face palmed.
Jack: What the hell do you even want?
Randy: Well, I was just passing by-
Mark: No you weren't.
Randy: Saw my son go into this house.
Stan: He what?
Randy: Realized Dipper and Mabel were here, So I came over to invite them to My dad's birthday!
Harold: … What?
Dipper: Your… Dad's birthday?
Randy: Yeah, I figured you guys, Y'know, Would jump at the Prospect.
Mabel: OHMYGOD, I love Birthday Parties, Can we go Aunt Valory Please, Please Please, Please, Please, Please-
Valory just set Mabel aside.
Stan: So you stalked me here just to ask My new Friends to Grandpa's birthday party?
Randy: Well… Yeah, And Also I wasn't stalking you Stan, We had the same destination in mind.
Mark then took Randy by the Hand.
Mark: Excuse us.
Mark then took Randy away from Everyone else and Slammed him against the Wall.
Mark: Listen Marsh, If you get them involved in anything crazy, I WILL Break your Teeth!
Randy: Hey, I didn't know they were here to begin with, The Girl was probably here Longer, How could you hide her from me.
Mark: We kept her hidden from you because, We feared you'd end up using them as some kind of… Coping mechanism for Henry's loss.
Randy: Hey Fuck you! Henry would have Been Great with it! And So what if I do? Your sister would have gone along with it.
Mark: I thought you didn't like Lily.
Randy: … What? No No No! This is- I mean! C'mon what made you think that?
Mark: Hmm… Don't know really, Probably had something to do with that fact that she kicked your ass once.
Flashback.
Flashback end.
Randy: I was Desperate! Hey where's the flashback?
Mark: Hey yeah… Normally we'd… Wait what's that?... We can't show them yet… Oh… Okay.
They were silent for a moment.
Randy: Okay look, They already spent time with My Brother, How bad can hanging with my Dad be?
Mark raised an Eyebrow.
Randy: Rest assured, THere will be no Volcanoes!
Mark sighed.
Mark: Alright, Dipper and Mabel can go, But make sure nothing crazy happens, Like Another mutant clone of your Son, Or Talking Wax Statues, Or Come to life Video game Characters Or… Something.
Randy: Okay.
Randy soon came back into the Room.
Randy: C'mon kids, You're Uncle said you can come.
Mabel: Yippee!
Dipper: Uh Cool?
Valory: You kids have Fun!
Randy led Dipper and Mabel outside.
Randy: C'mon Stan, We don't wanna be late!
Stan: See you Wendy…
And with that Stan followed them Outside.
Jack: I have a bad feeling about this…
Mark: I know… Dipper and Mabel around that Clown, God only knows what will happen.
Valory: How is that bad? He's been their Dad's best friend since Childhood.
Mark: Yes, And that's what worries me, He could tell them things they might not be ready for… Mostly their Father.
Meanwhile.
Jargafar observed the image closely, His red eyes glowing softly on Marsh, on his Right, Cluny stood by as if he expected him to Fly out in rage, Which he didn't.
Lord Jargafar: So… Randy Marsh is involved? Hm, Delightful, I've always enjoyed that Imbeicile's stupidity, It makes me laugh, And possibly makes the Agent's job a lot more easier.
Cluny: What about the Freedom watch?
Lord Jargafar: They'll never know… I have my Reassurance.
Cluny: And our Agent?
Lord Jargafar: Our Operative will have them, Just as I wanted.
Cluny: But you said…
Lord jargafar: I changed my mind, I like staying in the shadows, a bit longer, It gives me a bit of Mystery…
Cluny: Or lack thereof…
Lord Jargafar: What was that?
Cluny: N-nothing My lord, Forgive me.
Lord Jargafar: You know what to do my Friend, When you find the right moment….
?: Consider it done.
Meanwhile,
If Either Dipper or Mabel thought this would like hanging out with Stan and Ford again… Yeah they were dead wrong.
Marvin Marsh was as old as them, but more worse for wear. He wore a Dark red sweater and brown Trousers He sat in a wheelchair, Had prominent Wrinkles and age spots and had only a few strands of grey hair left.
Marshes: Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Grandpa.
Marvin groaned.
Marshes: Happy Birthday to you!
Sharon placed a Big birthday cake in front of Marvin.
Marvin: Now blow out the Birthday Candles Grandpa.
Marvin took a breath and feebly blew out the candles, Not one went out.
Mabel: Uh… Yeah!
Randy: So dad, How does it feel to be a hundred and two?
Marvin: Shoot me!
Sharon: Okay, Make a wish Grandpa.
Marvin: I wish I was dead!
Randy: HaHa, That's our Silly Grandpa.
Marvin: I'm not being silly kill me! I'd do it myself but I'm too damn old!
Sharon: Uh… Oh who wants ice cream with their cake?
Mabel: I do!
Stan then looked at the Clock.
Stan: It's 8 O'clock! My favorite TV show is on! Terrance and Phillip.
Dipper: What's Terrance and Phillip?
Randy: Just some Canadain show Stan and his friends like to watch.
Shelly: That show is for babies it's so Stupid.
Stan: Mom, Can I go eat my cake on the couch?
Sharon: Alright, But take Grandpa with you.
Stan: Aw Okay.
Sharon than leaned in close,
Sharon: And make sure he stays with you, He's creeping out those kids.
Stan went over to the Couch, Followed by Marvin, Leaving the rest to eat cake.
Mabel: Hmm, Ice melting, A flavor more Flavorfulable than the Coating itself.
Randy: With 102 worth of Candle grease.
Dipper barely ate.
Dipper: So… Mr Marsh.
Randy: Names Randy.
Dipper: Okay Randy, When we last met you said you were our Dad's Best Friend.
Randy: Hell yeah! Practically since Childhood, Didn't I tell you this when we last met?
Flashback.
Randy: Son of a Bithc was my best- FRIIIIIEEEENDDD!
Shelly: … Did he just sing that?
Randy then scooped Dipper and Mabel into a big hug, Nearly squeezing the life out of them.
Randy: Oh my god, It's bean so, I have longed to meet you for god knows how many years, Henry's Probably told you all about me, Huh?
He finally Released Dipper and Mabel on that last note.
Dipper: W-what? Who are you?
Randy: What, you don't remember? I haven't seen you since you were this small!
Mabel: You were there when we were born?
Randy took a deep Excited and Disturbingly Enthusiastic breath.
Randy: I was there for more than that I was there when… That… And That…
Randy then went sprawling on the ground babbling incoherent words and rolling around.
Sharon: You kids should come back another time, When he's not mad with joy.
The twins didn't need to telling twice and got out of there.
Flashback end.
Dipper: I still barely remember you.
Randy: Oh come on… Surely you can remember one thing about me.
Mabel thought for a moment.
Mabel: Hey yeah… I think I do.
Randy held his breath.
Mabel: Your that deranged Dumby dumb Mom used to call Stinko face!
(Note: I wanted something inappropriate for Randy to be called, But that would have been unsuitable for Children.)
Randy kept a seemingly normal twitching face at this.
Randy: Excuse me.
He then got up and went upstairs, Sounds of Swearing and Objects breaking could be heard.
Sharon: She actually called him that?
Mabel: Yeah, I think she sometimes called him something a little more… Inappropriate.
Then Randy came back down, Seemingly calmer now.
Randy: Stinko Face, Lovely name.
A gunshot suddenly followed.
Marvin: God Damn it!
Meanwhile,
A black car pulled up in the forest opening outside of Crossover town, The driver emerged from the car followed by four other figures, They stopped at the forest's edge, The leader pulled out binoculars and observed the town, The leader turned to two of the others.
?: Go scout ahead and report back any sightings of the twins.
The three smaller minions scurried off.
Meanwhile,
At Kyle's house, He and Ike were watching the same Program as Stan.
Phillip: Say Terrance, Now that you farted, I think I might fart too.
(Farts.)
Terrance: Ha Ha Ha Ha! You farted!
Kyle and Ike burst out laughing, While they did, Their mother Sheila came over.
Sheila: Kyle, Ike what are you boys laughing at?
She then looked at the Screen.
Terrance: Hey Phillip, Would you like a flower?
Phillip: I sure would Terrance.
Terrance: Alrighty then, Here's a tulip.
(Farts.)
Terrance and Phillip: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.
Shelia: What is this? It's horrible?
Kyle laughed as he fell out of his seat, But quickly got back up.
Kyle: Dude, It's terrance and Phillip
Phillip: (Punches Terrance.) Take that you stupid Dick!
Shelia: What did he Say?
Terrance: (Shoves Phillip.) Your an asshole Phillip.
Terrance and Phillip laughed.
Shelia: What What What?!
Shelia then turned off the TV.
Sheila: Boys you are not to watch that show any more, It's nothing but toilet humor.
Kyle: But mom, Everyone watches Terrance and Phillip.
Sheila: Evan the Pines twins?
Kyle: No I don't think so, Wait why are-
Shelia: Uh, Nothing.
Meanwhile, The next day.
Randy had taken Dipper and Mabel out to the Northern outskirts of town, They stood on a hill with Mabel flying a kite.
Randy: Ah the great outdoors, Or at least a breath of it… This land bears much history you know… So many tales, So many fascinating Areas.
Mabel: Uncle Harold took me out there a few times.
Randy looked to where Mabel was pointing.
Randy: Oh yeah, The East grove… One of the Seven woodland locations of the Land once known as South park.
Dipper: There are more forests?
Randy: Plenty of them, For example, Out to the west lies the western wood, On to the Right of it… The Hundred Acre wood… Where fascinating creatures dwell, A donkey named Eyore is always a friend… And Kanga, And Little Roo, There's Rabbit and Piglet and there's Owl… But most of All Winnie the Pooh… Who I may have a… Complicated history with Lately…
Flashback.
Randy: Give me back my Honey Asshole!
Pooh: I didn't even take it!
Randy shook the Gun at Pooh more.
Randy: Lies All of it!
Piglet then came in with a jar of Honey.
Piglet: Hey Pooh, You know that Honey we "borrowed"...
Pooh: Piglet! Run! He's onto us!
Piglet: Oh D-d-d-Dear!
Flashback end.
Randy: We worked it out in the end.
Dipper looked to the woods in front.
Dipper: What are those?
Mabel: Huh, Uncle Mark never mentioned them to me.
Randy saw what they were referring to.
Randy: That? That's just Shadow Hollow, The Northern woods, Crossies don't go there much.
Dipper: Why? Are there… Nice people there?
Randy thought for a moment
Randy: Well… the Squirrels… Rabbits… Moles… Hedgehogs… Shrews… Some of them… Of course Shrews are a prickly bunch, And there's old Angus Badger too, Lives right at the heart of it, Wouldn't live anywhere else if you paid him to, And that's a good thing, Without him or any other Badger Who else can keep the "Undesirables" in check.
Dipper: Undesirables? You mean like… Foxes?
Randy: Uh… Sometimes…Not all of them, You know Just most of them… Also Rats… Weasels, Stoats and Ferrets… Hyenas, There alright in a way, But you can't really trust them.
Mabel: And… what's beyond that?
Randy: Haven't got a clue, Some place called… Snackafa or… Something.
Randy then sighed dreamily and Put his Arm around Dipper.
Randy: But what does that matter huh? Days like it just feels right… Hanging out together… Two kids and their Dads best Friend… All on saturday.
Dipper shoved Randy's arm off him.
Dipper: Okay, Seriously Our Dad never mentioned you.
Randy was taken aback.
Dipper: For the Past Unknown amount of days you've been making us Hang out with you and so far have just said your dad's best friend… I kind of No Idea where I'm going with this. The guys writing me are probably on writer's block or- Something.
Mabel: I think the guy had no idea where he was going, So he just wanted to get to some reveal that- Wait what am I talking about?
Dipper: Seriously he barely has any time for this- Wait now what am I talking about.
They sat in silence for a moment, then Randy spoke up.
Randy: So uh… What were you saying? About not believing I was your Dad's Friend?
Dipper: What? Oh yeah, If our Dad had told us about you he would have, Like when we were like… Five! (Although if Dad kept secrets that's something we're used to by now.)
Randy: He… Didn't tell you anything?
Dipper: No.
Randy: Not even about me?
Dipper: No.
Randy looked almost hurt, He nearly cried but stopped and looked around and back to the Kids.
Randy: Not even that… He was born here?
Dipper: Never on- Wait what?
Mabel: I thought only Mom was born here.
Randy: Pft, Well she was duh, But so was your Dad.
Dipper: Dad was born here?
Randy: And fought in the First phase of the HVDVND war.
Dipper and Mabel: What?!
Meanwhile,
The three figures returned to the Boss.
?: They are heading home with Randy Marsh.
?: Well then, We might as well follow them, Shall we?
Meanwhile, At the Marsh house. (Again)
Dipper: N-no No… Our Dad never fought in the First Phase, He was an Accountant.
Randy: Is that what he told you?
Dipper: It was his Job.
Randy: Yeah, And I've always been a geologist.
Dipper: You fought in the War too?
Randy: Pretty much, Yeah, Mostly with the Freedom watch-
Mabel: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, You were in the Watch during that time.
Randy: Yeah totally.
Mabel: Were you in many Battles?
Randy: Several I think, Your Father was in the Watch same as me.
Mabel: R-really?
Randy: Oh yeah, Went on a lot of adventures together, him and I.
Randy then leaned back on the Couch as he remembered.
Randy: Ah those were the days, Marching like Badasses… Beating up Rats and Firebenders… Kinda like what you've been doing on your way here.
Dipper shrugged in agreement.
Mabel: Nah I still don't believe it, I always thought Mom was Eligible to be in the Watch.
Sharon: Actually, She was.
Mabel: Seriously?
Sharon: Oh yeah, Served alongside her Brother too, Never saw her in action myself though, She could kick the shit out of… Anything that screwed with her, Or her Family.
Randy: Pft Yeah, Go figure…ish.
Dipper: Yeah that Pretty much sums up Mom.
Randy: Yeah and I… Totally cool with her, Your Dad saw a lot of things in her and I just… Was totally fine with it.
Sharon: Sure you were.
Randy: Besides, She let Henry be the best man at his Wedding didn't he?
Dipper: You were the best man?
Randy: Duh, Haven't I've been saying we were inseparable?
Sharon: Ish.
Randy: I got proof!
Randy got off the couch and searched his Pockets until he pulled out a small picture and showed it to Dipper and Mabel.
Randy: Here.
Dipper and Mabel stared, The sunlight blurred the faces of their Parents, But Randy's face, Albeit with longer hair was right there, His arms warped on Their Dad's shoulder.
Mabel: This was… Their wedding day?
Randy: Yep, Now do you believe me?
Dipper was silent for a moment.
Dipper; Do you… Do you have anything else that belonged to him?
Randy thought for a moment.
Randy: A few things, I think I have one right…
He went upstairs and searched his office. He soon came back down with a sword and scabbard, which he handed to Dipper.
Mabel: What is…
Randy: That is, er, Was… Your father's sword, Form his service in the Freedom watch.
Dipper Unsheathed the sword and managed to hold it up, He looked upon it in awe.
Randy: Ha Ha, Your Father had the same reaction when he received it, Brought it along on so many adventures with it, Oh I could tell you both stories.
Randy sighed.
Randy: I wish he were… Still alive, He would have loved to see you both here, Show you the Town himself.
Dipper Seethed the sword.
Dipper: Why did our Parents leave?
Randy and Sharon glanced at each other.
Randy: Well… Quite a few reasons… One, He wanted to be there for you, Second Uh… Let's just say war can… do things to a man… But most of all, Because of Lord Jargafar.
Dipper's eyes widened at the name.
Flashback.
Scratch: They never told you? Why do you think the Dark lord Sacked your town? Conquest? Pleasure?
Dipper slowly took up his blaster.
Scratch: No… Because your Parents were there… And you… you were a bonus!
Flashback end.
Dipper: Jargafar was after our Parents…
Mabel: What?
Randy: Yes… Wait how do you know that?
Sharon: Did your Uncle tell you?
Dipper: No… It was Scratch Ironclaw.
Randy: IronClaw?! He told you?
Dipper: While trying to Slash me apart yeah.
Randy: You mean… You uncle hasn't told you either?
Dipper: No, When I asked him about he just brushed it off.
Mabel: Yeah, Uncle Harrod And Aunt Valory have done the same.
Sharon: So you never once questioned what exactly was going on when… Uh, You know what… Happened?
Dipper: No… Not really.
Flashback.
Dipper and Mabel sat in that room for Four hours, Scared and confused, Waddles nuzzled Mabel in comfort.
Dipper: Hey… How are you holding up?
Mabel: I… I don't know…
Dipper: Yeah…
Mabel: Dipper, Those Rat's could've been lying right?
Dipper: Yeah Maybe… They could have been toying with us… Maybe Mom And Dad got away, Maybe they went somewhere to hide.
Mabel: Yeah, Maybe they're safe, Maybe they're fine… Maybe… They're not… dead…
Mabel began to Cry, Tears seeping out of her Closed Eyelids, Dipper started doing the same, At that moment the Twins embraced each other and sobbed.
By the time they stopped crying, an Otter guardsman came over and knelt down to their level.
Guard: Your Aunt and Uncle are here.
Harrold and Valory Testaburger soon came in and Embrace the Twins, Harrold took Dipper and Harrold took Mabel.
Valory: Oh Dipper, Mabel, We're so Sorry…
Harrold: Everything will be fine… We swear.
Dipper and Mabel rested their heads on their Aunt and Uncle's Shoulders.
Flashback end.
Dipper: Two days later they split us up.
Randy: I'm… Taking you kids home.
Meanwhile.
Sheila: And I myself was not aware of this terrible show, But I have a clip to show what I mean, Larry if you will.
Larry the Lynx turned on the TV beside Sheila and the Clip played.
Terrance: Hey Phillip, Guess what?
Phillip: What?
Terrance: Fart! (farts)
Larry then turned it off.
Sheila: Now apparently, That's supposed to be funny somehow?
A man in a Red Truckers Hat named Stuart began laughing.
Stuart: He farted right on his hand!
Everyone stared at him, Making subside abruptly.
Nova: With all due respect Mrs. Brovflowski If this show is that bad, Why not make our kids not watch it?
Sheila: No, Making our kids not watch it is not enough, Neither is Boycotting it, We need to take this show off the air!
A murmur arose from the Audience.
Chef: Take it off the air?
Rat: I admit this show leaves much to be desired but take it off the air?
Mole: Feels a bit much don't you think?
Sheila: All those in favor?
Hesitantly, The ensemble raised their hands.
Meanwhile,
Sokka: So Dipper and his sister have bean hanging out with… Their Dad's buddy or something.
Jack: You could say that.
Katara: What's wrong with that?
Mac: Yeah I like Randy.
Mark: None of you… know Randy Marsh, He is practically the Epidime, of Stupidity and Insanity, There's no telling what God Damned Shenanigans he could put those kids through.
Dib: Didn't you and Jack just say he was Dipper's dad's best friend.
Mark rounded on Dib.
Mark: Yes and Believe me that is the Worst thing about him!
Brian: Well maybe they need this, You know they both lost the same loved one so maybe hanging out might help them come to terms with the fact that Henry's gone.
Mark sighed.
Mark: Maybe you're right Brian, I'm just worried he might tell them-
Suddenly the door burst open.
Randy: You son of a Bitch!
Mark: Oh Randy Hi we just-
Before Mark could say anything more, Randy rammed into him, And Slammed in against the wall with his Right hand around his neck.
Sokka: Ah!
Katara: Whoa!
Jack: Jesus!
Stewie: Wow.
Trevor: Hilarious.
Kitty: What?
Mark struggled in Randy's grasp, He managed to Pry Randy's fingers off him and He Dropped to the Floor gasping.
Mark: Huh… Huh… What the Hell?!
Randy: Shut up! I'm gonna kick your ass!
Randy nearly attacked him Further but Jack managed to hold him back by the Arms!
Randy: You… You sniveling Ass, You spent god knows how many months with that kid and you didn't tell him a thing! Not a single mention!
Jack: We were kinda busy not Dying!
Randy rounded on the Fox.
Randy: You still could have tried!
Mac: Hi Randy!
Randy: Oh Hi Mac.
Mark rose to his feet and Rubbed his neck.
Mark: Okay Listen, What the Hell are you talking about?
Randy: I'll tell you what I'm talking about! You said Britney Spears was so irrelevant she shouldn't even be considered Relevant!
Jack: What?
Randy: Oh sorry, Wrong thing to be mad about, You didn't tell Dipper about his Dad!
Mark: What didn't I tell- Oh god… What? That Henry was a victim of PTSD?
Randy: I… Honestly left that part out.
At that Moment Dipper and Mabel came into the Room.
Mark: Look I don't want them finding out about the things between Their Parents and Jargafar.
Dipper: Okay seriously we're right here!
Everyone turned to look in surprise.
Mark: Dipper! Mabel! Uh… How was-
Mabel: You've got some explaining to do!
Meanwhile.
Sharon was talking to Sheila on the phone.
Sheila: So that's the story Sharon, We're going to New york to take Terrance and Phillip off the air, you coming?
Sharon: Not really, I kinda have stuff to do right now Randy's taken the twins home and I it's my turn to do the Dishes.
Marvin: Kill my Billy!
Sharon: Make sure his Dad doesn't kill himself, And also Stan's friends are over.
Sheila: Well just make sure they don't watch that Show alright?
Sharon: Okay.
And Sharon hung up, At that Moment Shelly hurried up.
Shelly: Mom! Stan's trying to Kill Grandpa!
Sharon: What?
Sharon then looked up to see Marvin Suspended over her with a Noose around his Throat.
Marvin: A little Harder Billy…
There was a yelp from the kitchen and Marvin Fell to the Floor.
Sharon: Oh my God Stanley!
Marvin: Damn it I was so close!
Stan came out of the Kitchen, Followed By Kyle Cartman and Kenny.
Stan: Mom I swear, I had no Idea what Grandpa wanted me to do, I uh…
Sharon: Young Mom, Whatever you were-
A knock came at the door.
Sharon: One Moment.
She went to the Door.
?: Marsh Residence?
Sharon: Yes, And I'm a little Busy… Uh making sure you come back another time.
Sharon hastily slammed the door, Only for a hand to catch it.
Meanwhile.
Mark: Kids you don't need to trouble yourselves.
Dipper: Not even if it involves our Parents?
Randy: Yeah, Not even if it involves their Parents?
Mabel: You owe us some goddamn Answers!
Randy: Yeah you owe them some-
Randy's phone started ringing.
Randy: Hang on I'll be a sec, Hello?
Sharon: Randy!
Randy: Sharon?
Sharon: Randy! You gotta come home!
Randy: Okay, Okay I will just as soon as we rap up this issue.
Sharon: Randy! NO-
Randy than Hung up.
Randy: Now what was I saying? Oh Right, What Mabel said, You them some Goddamn-
Dipper: Could you stop that!?
Randy belt up instantly.
Dipper: In fact, Everyone in the other room now!
Randy: Uh… Okay.
Jack: Sure…
Aang: This is gonna be awkward.
Wendy: Why am I even here?
Stewie: Que sad montage after this.
Jack and the others Cleared the Living room, Leaving Dipper, Mabel and Mark alone.
Mabel: Start talking.
Meanwhile.
Sharon, Shelly, Stan, Marvin, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny struggled and shouted through the bonds around their Mouths, As they were tossed into a closet.
?: So none of you are gonna tell me where they are? Shame, But don't worry I already know, Get the Car Ready boys.
?: Bash and Bob are already one it Biss.
?: Good work Slash, Get Mash, Tell him we're leaving, Ignore the Cartoon.
Slash: Sure thing, Pretty funny Cartoon though.
Slash went off.
?: Don't worry, I won't hurt them, But the Lord Jargafar will.
And the Door slammed shut.
Meanwhile.
Mark: Kids you have to understand, The truth is more than you can handle.
Dipper: More than we can handle? Do you even know what we went through in Gravity falls?!
Mark: What did you go through?
Dipper: ...That's… More than you can handle…
Mark: There you see-
Mabel: Don't flip the Subject! Randy told us about our Parents being in the Freedom watch, Evan showed us their Wedding photo!
Mark: Seriously?! Oh damn it-
Dipper: He even told us they quit because of Jargafar, Why?
Mark: He told you Jargafar wanted you dead?!
Dipper: No, Scratch told me before he died, And you knew about it didn't you? Jargafar didn't just attack our town for Conquest didn't he?
Mark sighed.
Mark: Look, I'm sorry if I kept you kids in the dark.
Mabel: If?
Mark: But this whole deal between your Parents and the Dark lord, You didn't need to know about it.
Dipper: Why?
Mark: Because… It's just… Really, Really long and Complicated… No Really, It's that long and Complicated, I mean if we covered it all it would take like three Prequel series to explain.
Mabel: Foreshadowing Spoilers…
Mark; Look, All I can say is this, Jargafar Hated your Parents… Hated anyone related to them, Closely or otherwise, That's why he came after them, And now he's probably after you two as well, Mostly Dipper.
Dipper: WHAT?! But why?
At this point, THe others came out from the other room.
Jack: Did he really just ask that?
Stewie: You killed his top lieutenant Remember?
Wendy: I thought we covered this already.
Dipper: It's been 4 weeks, It's starting to fade on me!
Dib: Pretty sure you had PTSD over it.
Dipper said nothing.
Mabel: So that's it? That's what you've been hiding from us? That a jerk face wants to Kill us?
Mark: Yes and… I was expecting you to be more scared by this.
Dipper: Yeah well, It's not really the first time people tried to kill us, In fact we've nearly died Several times in the past it's not even traumatizing.
Jack: So all that secrecy was for nothing?
Dipper: The Jargafar part, Yeah… The fact that my Dad grew up here…
Mark: Ah yeah… He didn't really tell you either did he?
Mabel: No, And neither did you.
Stewie: Anyone know how long this chapter has gone on?
Mark: Kids please, Your parents-
Dipper: Wanted to protect us, Pfft Like that' never been heard before.
Mac: It's true that excuse is pretty overrated.
Outside, A Car pulled up, While everyone was distracted, And a certain figure emerged again.
Vana: Okay at this point this has been dragged out can we-
Suddenly, Something burst into the House, Four Creatures surged in and attacked everyone, One Swiped His Claws at Jack causing his to trip and hit his head on a nearby table and another Bigger one Grabbed Dib and Vana throwing them into Kitty, Trevor and Eric, Aang shot a jet of Air at the other two Goons, but they dodged it and pinned him down.
Katara: Aang!
Randy: What the!?
Mark: We're under attack!
Mac pulled out a pistol, only for it to be kicked out of his hand, And he was subsequently knocked out by a punch, That same figure than Grabbed Mabel.
?: Not so fast.
The Figure was a Woman stood over Mac unconscious body as she held Mabel in an Armlock, She had Blonde hair, A white skimpy dress, Her face Reeked of Makeup and she had a white collar around her neck.
Holli Would: Now take it easy boys, No need to play dirty.
Mark and Randy: Holli Would?!
Holli: In the flesh, The dark lord sends his regards.
Mark: What do you want?
Holli: Isn't it obvious? The kids, Lord Jargafar wants them.
Sokka: We were just talking about that.
And with that Sokka threw his boomerang, Only for Slash to catch it and throw it at Katara, Hitting her square in the head, After knocking out Aang, Bob lunged at Sokka and started… Kissing him.
Sokka: AH! NO! I"M STRAIGHT!
Mark: Let my Niece go, Would!
Holli: No can do Testaburger, The dark lord really wants these kids.
She then pulled a gun out and aimed it at Mabel's head.
Dipper: Mabel!
Dipper then found himself grabbed by Mash.
Mark, Wendy, Randy, Brian and Stewie were the last one's not beat up, But couldn't stop Holli, Without her hurting Mabel, Holli and her goons took Dipper and Mabel back to the car.
Holli: Now that that's settled, Lets get on our way.
Mabel: W-what are you going to do to us?
Holli: Oh you'll see.
And with that they got in the car and drove off, Just as Mark, Randy, Wendy, Brian and Stewie rushed outside to see the car go.
Mark: Oh shit… We've got to go after them!
Meanwhile.
Sheila: We are spreading the word to this establishment that we want better television for our children!
The crowd cheered.
Sheila: We want long quality television, like full house.
Mr Garrison: I don't even like full house.
Not too far from the Protest in an abandoned warehouse, Holli would watch as Dipper and Mabel Struggled against their Shackles.
Holli: Now you two be good little kiddies and stay here.
She then walked over to a Computer screen, Which turned on to reveal Tak.
Tak: Yes?
Holli: I have the Pines twins as the Lord commanded.
Tak: Excellent, Lord Jargafar will be pleased, I'm rather surprised you managed to pull this off with relative ease.
Holli: Not really that hard, Just a couple of harmless brats, How hard could it have bean?
Tak: Do not be so quick to underestimate them, I don't know about the Girl, But the Boy is definitely not to be trifled with, Especially after what happened to Ironclaw.
Holli: You mean when you stood around and watched?
Tak growled.
Tak: Be glad, I'm not in front of you now Would, Otherwise the retort for that insult wouldn't be… Pleasant, And what about the Freedom watch? And the rest of the town.
Holli: They are too busy trying to get some Cartoon banned that they didn't even know, And I've already taken care of those that didn't, We await the pickup now.
Tak: Excellent, A small detachment from our Air force has been sent to your location, Just make sure those twins remain here until they come.
Holli: As you command Lieutenant Tak, Nothing can stop us now.
Meanwhile.
The Car raced down the roads of New york and skidded at a turn left.
Mark: We've got to get the twins before Holli would deliver them to Jargafar!
Randy: I'm going as fast as I can!
Wendy: Mind telling me why we didn't bring the others?
Mark: There was no time! They'll be alright! Stewie how's the tracker?
Stewie looked at his ipad.
Stewie: It seems Would's Car is parked at an old warehouse not far from Cartoon central, That must be where Would has Dipper and Mabel.
Mark: Than that's where we go.
Meanwhile.
Back at Cartoon central… Things were going nowhere and Moms shackled their Necks to the Building… For some reason.
Carol: Ah forget it, This is never gonna work.
Sheila: It will Carol, It has to.
Just than A man came outside.
Otto: Hey look, The President of the Network!
President: Ladies and Gentleman, My name is John Worsaw, I've prepared a statement for you on behalf of the network.
He then Put on some glasses and took out a piece of paper, Clearing his throat to read it.
President: Fuck you!
Everyone stared in shock. (Well almost everyone.)
President: Thank you ladies and gentlemen, If there are any questions you may direct them to that brick wall over there.
He then started to go back inside.
Sheila: Hey! You will not get away with this!
The President looked back and Mooned the Audience, Causing them to gasp, Satisfied he went back inside.
Sheila: That does it, No more Mr Nice Protestors! It's time for plan B!
Liane: Uh, What's plan B?
Sheila: Oh you'll see…
Suddenly Randy's car zoomed past!
Carol: Was that Randy?
Meanwhile.
Dipper and Mabel stood up against the pool, They had managed to get the chains of their Shackles loose and were now standing apart from each other on opposite ends of the pole.
Dipper: Okay Mabel, On the count of Three, One. Two. Three!
The twins whipped their chains into the air and over the pole, which was not connected to the ceiling.
Mabel: Okay good, Now let's get these off and get out of here.
Holli: Not so fast kiddies!
Holli Would stood there with her goons, Dipper and Mabel gulped.
Holli: nobody said anything about you getting away.
Outside, Stewie watched from the window and gave an all clear to the others.
Mark: All right that's our que, Time to move!
Wendy: Let's get these Pricks!
As Holli would and Her Minions closed in on the twins, Mark and the others burst in and Charged them!
Hooli: What the?!
Randy ran up and Punched Mash in the face, While Wendy Proceed to whack Bob's head with a baseball bat, Brian held a Broken Bottle at Slash, Who swatted back with his Claws, Bash nearly got the Drop on Brian with a Chair, Only for Stewie to jump down on him.
Mark rushed in on Holli and Knocked her aside with this Shield, Then he slashed the Chains on Dipper and Mabel's Shackles.
Mark: C'mon we have to go!
The Gang all rushed out.
Holli: Stop them!
Mark and the others all Hurried to the car and piled into it.
Mark: Drive Man Drive!
Randy slammed his foot and on the gas pedal and Sped off, Holli and her goons rushed outside to see.
Holli: There they go! Get the Car!
Randy's car Sped down the Road, Swerving this way and that through the Streets of New york.
Wendy: So what do we do now?
Mark: First we get out of this Damn City!
Suddenly a whirling of Tires was heard behind them as Holli would and her goons cae up behind them.
Brain: Oh Crap they're after us!
Mark: Down this road!
Randy swerved to the left and was met with a traffic jam, He braked the car and turned around, Just a Holli would nearly caught up adn did the same.
Stewie: Their still after us!
Suddenly a Harpoon protruded through the roof!
Holli: Tear off the Roof!
Mash pulled on the chain and Ripped the Roof right off of Randy's car.
Randy: Oh come on!
Sheila: The network is not taking us seriously! Throughout our People's history, Our Ancestors died for what they believed in, And that's what we'll do now! Ready?
A giant slingshot had been prepared and Stuart stood inside it.
Sheila: Mr McCormick, You will be a Martyr to us all!
Stuart: Hey wait I never agreed to this!
But before anything else could Happen, Randy's car sped through the Polls knocking them over, Holli's car followed.
Sheila: Oh… Uh… That happened… Uh… Okay I give up let's go home.
Mark: We're not getting anywhere with you driving, I'm taking over!
Randy: Oh hell no This is my car!
Mark and Randy started fighting over the steering wheel, By the time Randy managed to shove off Mark, They had already found themselves at the edge of a stairway and screamed as they richeched off it in slow motion!
Well this might as well be where we stop, This chapter has taken so long that the deadline-
Dipper: Hey! See this to the End!
Okay fine, Jeez.
As the Slow motion stopped, They soared through the air and landed with a crash, Luckily none was hurt. (YEAH! THOAMS THE TANK ENGINE QUOTE!)
As the Heroes managed to get themselves up, Holli would and her goons were upon them!
Holli: Well, Isn't this cute, Guess I should have dealt with you guys back at the House, My mistake.
Mark got up and stood in front of the kids, His sword and Shield turned on.
Mark: It might as well be your last.
Holli: Really? Well how about-
So Holli sicks her goons on Mark but he Kills them all, Than Holli kicks Mark in the Balls, Than Randy comes up, Beats the shot out of her and sends her Running for her Life, And we all go home, The end.
Sharon: So… That's it?
Dipper: Yeah There was gonna be some other stuff but we're running out of time at this point.
Wendy: I think we can add more.
Rewind.
Randy: Well this has been a day.
Mark: I guess, You know Randy, I guess… Maybe your Not as stupid and Annoying as you might seam, You really helped keep the kids safe today, Thank you.
Randy: No Problem Mark, Let it never be said That there was any beef between the Marshes and Testaburgers.
Dipper: Okay so no Romeo and Juliet drama?
Mark: What are you talking about?
Mabel: Uh, Uncle Mark, You guys know that Your Brother Daughter and his Son are dating right?
Mark and Randy's eyes widened and Looked at Wendy who shrugged.
Present.
Wendy: And now their shocked beyond belief.
Stan: You think they'll…
Wendy: Yeah.
Dipper: Hey Mrs Marsh… Does Randy Have anymore… Memoirs between him and My dad?
Sharon: Well… There is this Scrapbook.
Shaorn pulled out a small booklet.
Sharon: Would you like to see it?
Mabel: Yes! Yes!
So Sharon Opened the book and began showing Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Wendy and Shelly every childhood adventure between Randy Marsh & Henry Pine.
To be Continued.