Episode 37
Butters Adventure.
(Gravity falls intro plays.)
(Dipper, Mark, Dib, Vana, Jack, Mac, Aang, Sokka, Kitty, Trever, Eric, Momo, and Appa brave the Mountain snowstorms, As they make it out they come to what lies before them.)
(Wendy Testaburger looks behind her and waves as the scene pans out to reveal South park.)
(Dipper is Dragged away from the Group and embraces Mabel, then both get scooped up in Randy's arms.)
(Intro Stops)
Dipper: What the…
Randy: Hey who stopped the Music?!
Sorry guys, New intro this time, This time the Focus is on Someone else for a change.
Mabel: What?! Who?
(New Intro starts.)
Singer: Who's the boy that can laugh at a storm cloud?
Turn a frown into a smile for free.
Who's the kid with the heart full of magic?
Everyone knows it's Butters!
Butters: That's me!
Singer: Who's the boy with the Eyes full of Wonder?
Thinks being yourself is the best thing to be?
Who's that rascal with the tweezers in his pocket?
Everyone knows it's Butters!
Butters: That's me!
Singer: Jumping in puddles, Skipping down the hallway.
And he goes to Petting Zoos, He loves John Alway.
Butters: No way!
Singer: Who's the tyke with the cutest little dimples?
Battin his eyes at every puppy he sees?
If you look inside yourself you might be surprised when you find
a Little boy named Butters!
Butters: That… That's Me, Yeah…
The Butters Episode, Disclaimer: The Following Story contains graphic Sexual content I am not Comfortable writing about, Readers discretion is advised.
It was late in the Evening in Crossover town, In a Light Reddish Brown house, Which belonged to the Stotch family, In the house, Stephan Stotch sat on the couch reading a newspaper, He was a Square headed man, Dressed in a Dab, Olive Green shirt, A distinctive white tie, Blue jeans, Brown belt and Black sneakers, Next to him cleaning the End table next to him was his wife Linda, A Blonde haired women, Dressed in a Maroon sweater A calf-length Purple skirt and Black shoes, Just than Butters came into the Room with a Yellow Present he had wrapped and presented it to his Father.
Butters: Alright Mom, I'm all done wrapping Dad's anniversary present for ya.
Stephan: Oh is it someone's anniversary soon?
Linda: Oh you.
Stephan: Just kidding.
He took the Present from Butters and shook it close to his ear.
Stephan: Oh I wonder what it is.
Butters: Aw shucks I can't tell ya, But it's really nifty.
Stephan: Well It looks like we're going to have to do something extra special for Mommy and Daddy's anniversary this year, How about on Saturday we all go have Dinner at Bennigans!?
Butters was delighted!
Butters: Bennigans?! Oh Boy you mean it?! Whoopee! At Bennigans! I'm gonna get the rain champ baby back rings!
And he ran around the Table in Excitement!
Linda: Calm down there Cowboy you've still got four days.
Butters: Four days? Oh I don't know How I'm gonna wait that long, Why it'll be by the next Season!
Meanwhile.
The Night sky shone down as the lone figure camped down by the Hillside as the road above her roared with Passing trucks, the Makeshift fire she had made glowed brightly as she stared into with Cold unfeeling eyes as she heard the Screaming and Clashing ring through her head.
Meanwhile.
The next evening, Butters wrote down on a piece of Paper on the Coffee table.
Butters: Three more days till we eat at Bennigans, That's seventy two hours, Aw gee whiz.
Stephan got up from the couch and walked to Linda.
Stephan: Well if you two will excuse me, I have to go and buy a certain special lady her birthday present.
Linda: I hope he means me.
Butters: Oh don't be silly mom, Of Course he means you.
Stephan: I'll be back in a little bit, Butters you're in charge of the house.
Butters: Yes sir.
And Stephan left.
Linda: Oh I wonder what he's gonna get me this year?
Butters: We won't know till we're at Bennigans.
Linda: Every year is the same, Your Father gives me some great gift and My gift for him falls short, I've just to do out do him this year I've just got to!
Butters: Dad's a good shopper alright.
Linda knelt down and drew Butters close.
Linda: Butters, Maybe you could follow your dad and see what he's getting me.
Butters: You mean… Spy on him? But ain't that, Kinda like fibbin?
Linda: No it's a little different, You remember when the nice Policeman gave you a badge and then made you an Honorary inspector?
Butters: Sure I do.
Linda: Why I think Inspector Butters could find out what Daddy's getting Mommy without him ever knowing, What do ya say?
Butters: Inspector Butters is on the case ma'am!
And with that, Butters ran off.
Later.
Stephan walked down the Road to a more Seedy part of Crossover town, Decrepit buildings loomed everywhere, Street lights flickered and a few uncouth shadows roamed the streets, Stephan stopped at a Pawn shop and looked around him, Than put on a Red Cap and tucked up the Collars of his Shirt, Than continued on his way, From the Bushes, Butters pecked out, Wearing a handlebar mustache and wrote notes in his notebook s he observed his father go into a Pink Theater building.
Butters: Hm, Dad's going to see a movie, How nice.
Later, Stephan came up to a Purple building and went inside, Butters noted this.
Butters: White Swallow Bath house.
Meanwhile.
She walked along the road as the night sky moon loomed overhead, Keeping her Hood up, She made sure she was alone before moving on her way, As she headed down the Road, She heard something coming up from behind her, She saw a Truck Barreling towards her with it's horn blowing, She quickly jumped out of the way and landed in the grass, As it sped past.
?: Note to self… Stay off the goddamn road… My mistake…
She picked herself up and continued on her way.
Meanwhile.
At Butters house, Linda was cutting Carrots when Butters came back.
Butters: I'm back mom.
Linda: Oh Hi sweetie did you get to follow your dad around?
Butters: I sure did, Dad sure had a nice night out.
Linda: Well, Did you see what he got me for our Anniversary?
Butters: Well First, He went to see a Movie.
Linda: A movie? Hmm, I wonder why'd he'd want to see a Movie by himself?
Butters: I don't know, But it wasn't the Movie Theater in the Upper right corner of town, Next to Tweek. Bros. It was that Old one down in the Dark place of town, I didn't even know it was open.
Linda stopped what she was doing.
Linda: Wait… You mean… The Studcat? What was the movie called?
Butters: Fishing fireman 9, I never sean 1 through 8.
Linda: Oh my god!
Butters: But it must have been a real short one though, because Dad came out like ten minutes later… And it must have been a real sad one too, Because he had a lot of tissue Paper when he came out, Poor old Dad, The Movie really got to him.
Linda: Butters… Where did Daddy go after the Movie?
Butters: To the Gym.
Linda: To the Gym?
Butters: Yeah, The white swallow spa.
Linda was Horrified!
Linda: W-What?!
Butters: Yep, I even got some neeto pictures, Inspector Butters gets all the facts.
Linda rushed over to the Table and looked at the Pictures in Horror! As she looked over the Picture Butters took, The First one being Stephan going into the Studhup, Than the white Swallow Spa and finally… Ugh… Stephan… Well, If you've watched the Original Episode, You'll know what he was doing in the last picture.
Butters: Oh yeah and that last Picture, He was in that gym wrestling all sorts of guys, He wasn't very good though This one Black guy had him pinned down for fifteen minutes straight.
Linda was completely mortified.
Butters: The only thing I can't figure out was why Dad told us he was going out shopping for your present when he was going out to see movies and wrestling.
And just like that, Linda fainted.
Butters: Mom?
Later
The Next Day Butters sat at the Coffee table playing with Lego's, While Linda… Painted over the Wall, Her hair was a mess as she mumbled to herself.
Linda: Paint… Must Paint… Everything clean… Paint…
Stephan came into the room as she said this, Completely oblivious to her disheveled state.
Stephan: Wow Honey you've painted the entire house, Three times.
Linda: Must paint… Everything clean… Everything new…
Stephan: Say Butters, I'm having real trouble finding an Anniversary present for Mom, Any Ideas?
Butters: Hmm, I can't think of one.
Stephan: Well looks like I'm going out shopping again.
Linda started painting faster at this, and Rambled faster.
Linda: Ugh, Paint… Everything clean, Everything New, Paint…
Stephan: Well I'll be back in a while.
And he left.
Butters got up to follow him.
Butters: Should I follow him again to see what he gets you Mom?
Linda: I don't think Daddy's shopping, I think Daddy's going out wrestling again.
And she rolled the painter over Butters face before moving off.
Linda: Paint… Paint…
Butters: Hey a new paint brush, That's what Dad could get mom for his anniversary, I gotta go tell him.
And he left.
Once she was along Linda reached the Portrait of herself along with Stephan and Butters, And painted over herself and Butters faces.
Linda: Must clean Butters… Clean… Never be clean… Must… Kill? The only way? Must kill Butters… Paint…
Meanwhile.
Butters went to the Bathhouse that night, Searching for his Dad, He walked up the Shady desk and paid a $10 bill for admission.
Butters: One please.
The Black Mouse in the Booth Slid out a towel.
Attendant: Locker Two Thirteen.
Butters: Thanks.
Butters took the Towel and went to the Spa.
Inside he found the Locker room full of Men in Towels, Either Exercising or Just chatting with each other.
Butters: Dad? Dad you in here?
Butters walked down a hallway and found a door with a window in it, He entered the room, and found a whole cloud of Steam billowing everywhere.
Butters: Hello? Anybody in here?
Through the Steam, He could make out two figures.
Man: There, You think that works?
?: No, that's four fingers, try five.
Butters felt the voice was familiar.
Butters: Hello?
?: who is that?
Butters quickly left the Steam room and entered the Main hallway, Continuing to look for his Dad.
Butters: Dad! Dad? Are you wrestlin in here?
He looked into one room, And another and then found one with two men… Doing things.
Man: Uh, This room is taken.
Butters: Oh uh, Pardon me, Sirs.
He closed the door and checked another room.
Butters: Dad?
Butters then went to another room and found his Dad, Completely naked and Jacking it, Until he saw Butters.
Stephan: Gah! Butters!
Butters: Hi Dad.
Stephan: Oh god! Oh- Oh!
Stephan desperately covered himself with his Towel.
Butters: I'm glad I found you, I think I've got the Perfect Anniversary Present for Mom, What are you doing with your Weiner hanging out there?
Stephan: Butters… You need to leave her… Right now… Y-You need to… Go home and… Wait for me to talk to you…
Butters: Oh… Oh well alright then… See you at home.
And Butters closed the door and left.
Stephan: Oh Jesus no… What have I done?
Later.
The Next Day, Stephan was in his study and called out to Butters.
Stephan: Butters! Could you come see me in my Study real quick.
He sat down in his chair as Butters came in.
Butters: Uh, Hey Dad.
Stephan: Son, We need to have a talk.
Butters came over to Stephan and sat on his lap.
Stephan: Son, I want to talk to you about Lying.
Butters: Oh Lyings bad, You told me so.
Stephan: Yes but there are also times when distorting the truth a little is appropriate, These are called "Little White lies."
Butters: Little white Lies?
Stephan: You see, Sometimes telling a little white lie is Okay, Such as when you catch your father jacking off in a gay mans Bathhouse.
Butters: Uh, Who's Jack?
Stephan: Butters, The Point is that, I think that if you told Mommy what Daddy was really doing tonight why, She might go completely insane.
Butters: Oh no that won't happen dad.
Stephan: It won't?
Butters: No because I already told her and she's fine.
Stephan relief was swept away in an Instant.
Stephan: You… What?
Linda suddenly appeared in the Doorway.
Linda: Butters… Mommy wants to take you for a little drive now.
Butters: A drive? Oh boy I love a good drive, Is dad coming with us?
Linda: No sweetie Daddy needs to sit and think.
Butters: Alright see you in a bit Dad, Oh boy a drive.
And they both left, Leaving Stephan behind.
Stephan: Oh god no.
Later.
Some Minutes later, Linda and Butters drove up to a small port on the Outskirts of Town and stopped on a boat ramp.
Butters: And Dipper sure sounds like he's doing better since Ashley, The poor guy needs a boost so good for him.
Linda wasn't listening.
Linda: Butters… You know that Mommy loves you an Awful lot don't you?
Butters: Well sure I do, I love you too.
Linda: And sometimes, Mommies do things that seam… Hurtful to their babies, But it's really for the best.
Butters: Oh you mean like when you washed my mouth with a bar of soap for saying Nut-sack in front of Grandma? Yeah, I need to behave myself.
Linda: If a Mommy has to end her life she can't leave her baby alone in the world to be raised by a degenerate.
Butters: Well sure that makes sense I suppose yeah, Hey have you seen my Mittens, It's cold out here.
Linda: I'm going to get out of the car now Butters, I want you to satya put with your seat belt fastened.
Butters: Well, Alright mom.
And Linda shifted the gear into neutral, Released the Emergency break and exited the car as it rolled into the River with butters in it.
Butters: You know I think the car might be moving mom, Yep I'm pretty sure the car's moving, Looks like I'm headed into the Water.
Linda turned around.
Linda: Shh, It's okay Baby, Mommy will be with you very soon.
Butters: Well I think- Yup, It looks like the car is filling up with Water, Yeah I think now might be a good time for you to come back inside the car now mom.
Linda just walked away.
Meanwhile.
She walked through the forest and found a cave, Feeling it was the best place to be at the moment, She went inside and leaned her back against the wall and ignored all her surroundings, As she brooded.
Meanwhile.
Linda sat at the computer table, Writing a note as a noose hung over the Coffee table.
Linda: "Dear Bastard husband"… No, "Dear lying son of a bitch!" No! "Dear Assface!" Yeah that's it, I will no longer-
At that Moment Stephan came into the room.
Stephan: Linda what are you doing?!
Linda rushed over to the Coffee table and put herself headfirst in it.
Linda: Stay away from me Bastard!
Stephan: Linda I know this is very hard.
Linda: You don't know anything!
Stephan: I've been wanting to stop going to those places, But I couldn't. I still love you!
Linda: Than why Stephan Why?!
Stephan: It just… It started as some curiosity on the internet, I would chat with other married guys in the Chat rooms, And the things they would talk about it… I don't know why I found it exciting and it just spun out of control and… Damn you internet!
Linda: Well you don't have to worry about your family being in the way anymore!
Stephan: No Linda! I don't want that lifestyle any more, It's just more of an addiction! I want help, I'm going to get help, Please just give me a chance, We can live a normal life!
Linda just undid herself from the noose and fell to her knees and wept.
Linda: There is no going back Chris!
Stephan: Sure there is…
Linda: NO! Our son is dead!
Stephan: What?
Linda sobbed.
Linda: I… I killed him… I was going to end it all, And everything spun out of Control for me! I went insane! I drowned Butters in the Car Chris!
And Linda cried harder as Stephan let this sink in.
Stephan: No… No oh Jesus No, Linda what were you thinking?!
Linda: I WASN'T THINKING I WAS CRAZY! YOU RUINED MY LIFE CHRIS! Hgn, What have I done?! OH BUTTERS!
And Linda cried even harder.
Stephan: This can't be happening, This is a bad dream!
Linda: JUST GO AWAY AND LET ME DIE!
Stephan knelt down to Linda.
Stephan: NO! Linda we…
Linda: I'm a murderer Chris! I don't have a right to live anymore!
Stephan: Linda Butters is gone… And… There's nothing we can do about that, But I won't let you go to Caer Ungol Linda I swear!
And he broke down crying too.
Their sobbing could be heard right outside their House, Just as Brian and Stewie watched on.
Stewie: Brian… Why aren't we major Characters?
Brian: I don't know, This show just seems to Focus on the Pines twins.
Stewie: Yes, But couldn't we at least do more? Honestly it just feels we're there because the Creator just likes us.
Brian: Hmm, Maybe, Or because he wants us in a Five man team.
Stewie: What five man team?
Brian: I don't know.
Meanwhile.
The Stotch Family car flowed down the River with Butter still in it.
Butters: Oh Boy this thing ain't never gonna stop is it? I must be all the way to Denver by now.
Suddenly the car Crashed into a Damn of Rocks, Causing Butter door to Open upon impact.
Butters: Oh Whoopie! That sure was a fun ride! And now the car has come to a stop it's finally safe for me to unfasten my seatbelt!
And he unbuckled from his seat and Hopped along the rocks to land as he followed a trail of Boulders.
Butters: Boy, Mom must be worried sick of me right now, I gotta get back home.
As Butters climbed over the Rocks he found himself in a Hilly area, No buildings in sight.
Butters: Oh Gee whiz, Where the Heck am I?
Meanwhile.
Back in town, News of Butters disappearance rocked the Town, News reporters and others crowded the house and were held back by Police and Freedom watch members as one reporter was in place.
New 4 Reporter: Tom, I'm standing in front of the home of Stephan and Linda stotch, They're living every parent's nightmare right now, As last night while Mrs. Stotch was driving with her son in the car. A man stopped her, Put a gun to her head and took her son. When asked who the man was, Mrs Stotch answered, "Some Puerto rican guy." Police are now on an all out manhunt for some Puerto rican guy, Looks like the Parents are about to make a Statement Tom.
Stephan and Linda stood outside their house as Photographers and Journalists asked Questions.
Reporter 1: Mrs. Stotch, Mrs Stotch, Any word from the man who took your son?
Linda: No, No, Not yet, But if you're out there we beg you, We just want our baby returned safely to us.
Reporter 2: Mrs Stotch, What did the Kidnapper look like?
Linda: Puerto Rican.
Reporter 3: Was he tall? Short?
Linda: He was… Average Puerto Rican height, Please just bring our Baby back to me…
From outside the Crowd, Mark, Jack, Aang, Katara and Mac watched on.
Jack: ...We can tell she clearly murdered the poor boy right?
Katara: Oh yeah.
Aang: Um Hm.
Mac: Totally.
Mark: Not even trying to Hide it.
Meanwhile.
A truck drove up the Mountain Road, Inside Butters was talking to the Driver, Who was completely bored.
Butters: And so then Craig said to Jason. "Showing your face in a gay bar is suicidal." And then Jason responded with, "Take one to to know one!" Not really sure what he meant by that, Anyway I sure am Lucky you came along.
Driver: Yeah too bad your not a broad cause I need some goddamn poontang.
Butters: Yeah I could use some goddamn poontang myself right now, Ever been to Bennagins? I'm going to Bennagins tomorrow night with my Family, Oh I can just see it now.
Flashback.
Butters: We'll walk in the front doors, And the nice bennigan hostess lady will take us to our Cozy Booth, Than we'll order some Mozzarella sticks for appetizers, Dad will open his present, Mom will open hers, And then the Bennigan wait staff will sing!
Happy, Happy Anniversary!
From everyone at Bennigans!
Happy Happy Anniversary!
From everyone at Bennigans!
Flashback Ends.
Butters kept singing the song over and over again as the Truck driver got more and more annoyed, He pulled the Truck to a Stop as He got out and ran around to the Other door.
Butters: Oh are we stopping for Soda's? Can I have chocolate Milk?
The Driver just placed Butters out of the Truck, Got back in and drove off, Leaving Butters at A forkroad, One road was the one the Truck was moving off from and the other led to a Decrepit looking town.
Butters: He must Like TGI Fridays.
Meanwhile.
Back at the Stotch Residents, Police and a few Freedom watch Agents stayed in the House and talked with Stephan and LInda, Suddenly the phone rang.
Srg Yates: Let us handle it, Barbarady!
Officer Barbrady went over to the Phone and Answered it.
Barbrady: Hello?
On the other end was Butters, Calling from a strip club.
Butters: Oh Hello, Uh who is this?
Barbrady: Who is this?
Butters: Uh… Is this the Stotch residents?
Barbrady: Are you calling about the Abduction?
Butters: No.
Barbrady: Are you puerto rican?
Butters looked at himself before answering.
Butters: No.
Barbrady: We need to keep this line clear, call back another day.
And he hung up.
Barbrady: It wasn't the Abductor sorry.
Tiara: Are you sure, I thought I heard-
But before she could finish, Larry the Lynx came into the room.
Larry: Hey guys! Two more parents from the next town over just came forward saying their Child may have been killed by the same guy who took the Stotch boy.
Stephan and Linda exchanged confused looks, As a middle aged man and Woman were led into their house.
Police Officer: This is John and Patsy Ramsey from Boulder.
John Ramsey: We saw your Story on the news, We're so sorry for your loss.
Patsy Rmasey: Our Daughter was killed a decade ago by someone in our house too.
Linda: Yes I… Read about that years ago.
John Ramsey: And then we realized, The man that murdered your son must be the same ones that Murdered our Daughter too!
Patsy Ramsey: Yes because we certainly didn't do it.
And they both laughed.
Stephan: Well, Our Daughte- Er Son wasn't killed he was abducted, We don't really know if he's dead for sure…
Ramseys: Right.
Tiara: We did you bring them in?
Larry: They… Seemed willing to help.
Meanwhile.
Butters then walked up to a Gas station, Where he saw an Old Hedgehog working on a car.
Butters: Hello, Sir?
Old Mechanic: Afternoon lad, What can I do for ye?
Butters: Oh I need to get to Crossover town, If you give me a ride, I can give the four Dollars I made at the Titty bar.
Old Mechanic: Sorry Boy, Me daughter took the car to East Park for the weekend, Won't be back until Sunday I'm afraid, I can give a ride than if you like.
Butters: I can't wait until Sunday, I'm eating with my Family at Bennigans tomorrow.
Old Mechanic: Ah I see… Then you're probably walking.
Butters: Will I reach Crossover town If I go down that road?
Old Mechanic: That road leads to Coniver, You wanna get to Crossover town You'll have to go down that road.
The Old Hedgehog pointed to a Dark Path with Scary looking trees.
Old Mechanic: Course no one would dream of going down that Road, Lot of nasty creatures in there, But it does lead to a Bridge about Halfway up, That bridge may be cursed though, Six years ago, A group of wanderers tried to cross that bridge and an old Troll tried to Eat them, The biggest one just pushed him aside, They say said Troll's ghost still haunts that Bridge to this day, After that there should be a fork in the road, One path Leading to the old Riley house, Mr Riley butchered over fifty Children and kept their Bodies in his Cellar, But the other Path should lead you in a more safe direction, But that path paved by the souls of Several woodland slave who were massacred when they tried to fight back against their Oppressors, Yep lot of Dark history on that road, You'd do well to be careful.
Butters: Well I don;t really care about any of that, It's my parents anniversary tomorrow and they're gonna be awful sad if I'm not there tomorrow, So I'll have to take the chance.
Old Mechanic: Well good luck to ya than.
And Butter set off down the Dark forest.
Old Mechanic: ...Poor boy, Maybe he'll meet the Other kid who went in their not to long ago… Probably should have Mentioned the Hyenas in their too.
Meanwhile.
Back in Crossover Town, Stephan, Linda and the Ramseys were in I AM SAMEN, Partaking in their ordered meals.
John Ramsey: It's so very hard to lose a loved one isn't it?
Stephan: Y-Yes it… Sure is.
Patsy Ramsey: Thank goodness we have each other to share our grief.
Linda: Yes, Thank goodness.
Then John Ramsey looked up.
John Ramsey: Oh look!
A man stepped through the door. He was a disturbing looking man, With a decrepit wrinkly face, Grey hair and a dark blue suit.
Gary Condit: John, Patsy Hi!
He came over and sat at the Table with them.
John Ramsey: Oh Hello Gary, Stephan, Linda this is our close friend Congressman Gary Condit, He also lost someone close to him and thinks it has something to do with the Some Puerto rican guy that hurt our kids.
Gary Condit: We're gonna get that son of a bitch!
Stephan: Y-Yes I sure hope we do…
Gary Condit: I just spoke with the FBI and S.H.I.E.L.D. Some Puerto Rican guy was just made their Number one most wanted.
Patsy Ramsey: Oh good maybe now they'll catch him! Oh here's another Member of our Support group O.J.!
And then O.J. Simpson walked into the door.
O.J. Simpson: Hey guys!
Gary Condit: Stephan, Linda you know O.J. Simpson.
Linda: Oh… Sure.
O.J. shook Linda's hand as he took a seat.
Patsy Ramsey: O.J.'s wife was killed by the Some Puerto Rican guy too.
O.J. Simpson: Yep, it was some Puerto Rican guy alright.
John Patsy: So you see Stephan and Linda, There are people like you all over the Country who have been affected by some Puerto Rican guy.
Gary Condit: Hey, Let's make Stephan and Linda official members of the Group.
And they all agreed.
Patsy Ramsey: One of Us, One of Us,
Gary Condit: Gooble Gobble, Gooble Gobble,
All four: One of Us, One of Us, Google Gobble, Google Gobble.
John, Patsy, Gary and O.J. made creepy chants as Stephan and Linda looked uncomfortable at each other, Also while Mark, Harold, Valorie, Wendy, Dipper and Mabel watched from their own Table.
Mark: That is pretty messed up right there.
Harrold: I'll say.
And they continued to Eat, Before Dipper realized something.
Dipper: Wait, Patsy Walker died in 2006 how is she still alive?
Meanwhile.
A bright moon shone down above through the Trees, As Butters made his way down the Path, He nervously sang to himself as he walked along.
Butters: For family fun and great food too come on down to… Bennagins.
A shadow quickly soared over the Path in front of him.
Butters: Buffalo wings and fried cheese sticks, The best are found at… Bennigans.
Butters stopped as Strange noises fill the air.
Butters: Uh hello?
No one replied, A wolf sounded in the distance, And Butters continued his journey.
Butters: So come and Eat at… Bennigans.
Meanwhile.
In a part of the woods not too far from Butters Path, A gathering of creatures was assembled, All of them Hyenas, All crowded into a small cave and Watching their leader gnaw on a few left over bones, Banagi was a Large Hyena as far as Hyenas go, With Greenish yellow fur, Dark yellow eyes and a Grey face, He took notice of his Followers as they looked on with Hunger.
Banagi: Ah, So sorry Gentlemen, Doesn't seem to be much left for you.
The other Hyenas made their disappointment known with down cast faces, Baasho, The second in command, Edged closer to Banagi's position, He was more smaller than other Hyenas, and his fur was even more Golden and Brighter than the rest of his Colleagues.
Baasho: Oh can't we have a bit more Banagi, I'm almost Famished.
Banagi: Well what else is there? All the best catches we can find are Rabbits, deer and a Squirrel if we're lucky. Honestly this Continent is complete garbage, Utter rubbish.
Baasho: Maybe we should have just stayed in the Pridelands.
Banagi: And play lick spittle to Scar?! That preening throw rug, No! We left the Pride lands to actually find food Baasho and don't you forget it! Not Like Shenzi, Banzai, Fisi and the rest of those Slobber brains, Our brotherhood are better off without that Narcissistic Lion, Him and the rest of those-
He was cut off suddenly when he and the rest of followers heard a voice through the Tree's.
Butters: … You'll love our Shenanigans… Oh Nutsack, Oops.
Baasho: What's that?
Banagi and Baasho scuttled forward to investigate and spied Butters walking down the road.
Banagi: A child? In this neck of the woods?
He licked his lips in Anticipation.
Banagi: Now that's what I call a good snack.
As Butters continued to wander aimlessly through the Woods, Strange voices could be heard all around.
?: With the glint of an Eye.
Or the Flash of a Nashers
Take a hint, Hurry by.
We don't welcome Gate crashes in the Daaaark wood.
In the Daaaark wood.
?: We may drool.
We may bite!
We may scratch
We may Ravage.
You're a fool.
If you fight.
You're no match.
For a savage in the Daaaark wood.
In the Daaark wood!
Butters stopped as a dark shape appeared behind him.
?:So if you are a stranger
Unaware of our name.
It's best that you go back to (Revealed to be a Hyena named Banagai.)
From wherever you came!
Hyenas: We're the dark wooders. (Jumps from the shadows and wag their heads.)
Hyenas Ferrets and Rats
The Kind of vile animals.
That go at your throat.
Yes we're the Dark Wooders!
Beware this neighborhood.
You'll find that Do gooders.
Come to no good.
Banagai: He's a slow learner this one, Good meal ey? Bashoo.
Bashoo: hmm, A little underfed though Banagai.
Banagai: Who makes the Choices around here?!
Bashoo: (Cringes.) Uh You do Sir.
Banagai: I've a thirst
For a treat.
And I can't break the Habit!
At the First, Smell of meat.
I will do in a Rabbit in the Daaark wood.
In the Daaark wood.
Butters: (Gets up and Flees through the woods with the Hyenas chasing him.)
Hyenas: Those who dare!
To come near!
Maybe Hung.
Maybe Eaten!
Than despair.
When they hear!
That they're young!
Have been eaten in the Daaark wood.
Butters: (Hides behind a tree while the Hyenas search.)
In the Daaark wood.
Banagai: (Finds Butters.) So if you are a Stranger.
Hyenas: Stranger.
Banagai: Unaware of our name.
Hyenas: Unaware of our name.
Banagai: It's best that you go back too.
Hyenas: Back too.
Banagai: From wherever you came!
Hyenas: From where you came!
Hyenas: We're the Dark Wooders!
Banagai: Hyenas Ferrets and Rats!
Hyenas: Hyenas, Ferrets and Rats!
Banagai: (Slithers up a Rocky hill like Zira after Butters.) The kind of Vile Animals, That go at your throat!
Hyenas: Go at your Throats!
Butters: (Tumbles down the Hill.)
Banagai: Yes, We're the Dark Wooders! (slides after Butters like Zira.) Beware this Neighborhood!
Butters: (Scurries behind a Rock.)
Banagai and Hyenas: You'll find that do gooders!
(Scene pans up to show Banagai on top of the Rock, Looking down at Butters with his head on his Paw while the others Drums the Rock.)
Banagai: Come to no good.
Hyenas: come to No Goooood. (Reprise twice.)
Hyenas: Come to no Good.
Hyenas: Come to no Good, Good, Goooood. No good!
Hyenas: We're the Dark wooders!
Hyenas Ferrets and Rats!
Banagai: Hyenas, Ferrets and Rats!
Hyenas: The kind of Vile Animals.
That go at your throat.
Banagai: Go at your Throat! (Climbs and Jumps up an Old fallen tree that the Hyenas are gathered upon and are now singing on.)
Banagai and Hyenas: Yes we're the Dark wooders!
Beware this neighborhood!
Hyenas: You'll find that do gooders!
Come to no good!
Banagai: (Reaches the top.)
Hyenas: You'll find that do gooders!
Banagai and Hyenas: Come to no Gooooooood!
Butters: Oh Hamburgers!
Banagi leapt down from the Tree.
Banagi: Well lookie here… Are you lost, Little boy?
Butters: Uh… I guess, I-I'm trying to get back to C-Crossover town-
Banagi: Are you now… Feeling hungry chum?
Butters: W-Well I am going to Bennigan's Tomorrow so… Uh.
Butters was suddenly knocked down by Two Hyenas who Held him down, Banagi brought his face to Butters Menacingly.
Banagi: We're starved.
The Hyenas began to crowd around Butters as he gulped in fear, But before any of them could even bite Butters, A long shrill wail filled the air, They all looked up to see a Dark figure standing through the Trees.
Baasho: W-What is that?
The figure didn't move, It just pulled out a Stick with Fire on it!
The Hyenas stared Horrified! They were scared of Fire! But that wasn't what they focused on!
Baasho: Demon! Run for it!
The Hyenas quickly scattered in all directions! With Banagi trying to catch them all!
Banagi: Come back you Cowards!
And he chased after them, Butters looked at the figure with the torch, As they walked over to him.
Butters: Uh… You're not gonna kill me are you?
The Next Day.
Back at the Stotch House, A stressed out Stephan and Linda were arguing.
Stephan: No Linda you can't now say! That the abductor was costa rican! You have to learn to keep it straight!
Linda: I can't keep it straight when you keep adding new parts to the story!
Stephan: I'm just trying to cover for you!
Linda: Well your lies started this whole mess!
Stephan: My lies may be disgusting but your lies cover up something a whole lot worse!
As they argued, Butters came through the door and stood behind them.
Butters: Happy anniversary!
Stephan: Not now Butters!
Butters: Oh alright then.
And he started to walk away when his parents realized he was there.
Linda: Butters?
Upon seeing their son, Stephan and Linda immediately scooped him up between them!
Linda: Oh Butters!
Stephan: Son I don't believe it!
Butters: I'm sorry, The car just floated down the river, I tried to call home but-
Linda: Oh my baby's back!
Butters: I ain't grounded am I?
Stephan: No, No Butters, Oh son… But uh… We're gonna need you to tell a little white lie about where you've bean, alright?
Butters: Lie?
Linda: Uh yeah… Darling you have to say you don't know how you got home.
Stephan: No he has to say a Puerto Rican man dropped you off.
Linda: Oh who's going to believe they just dropped him off?!
Butters: Hey! Stop hollering at each other, its your anniversary.
Stephan: We don't have a choice!
Linda: You're the one who came up with the whole Puerto rican guy Idiot!
Stephan: Well you're the one who couldn't back it up with a description idiot!
Butters than got in between them.
Butters: Oh gosh darn it! You listen here both of ya, I'm sick and tired of these Harmless lies and little white-lies! You know you can call a shovel and Ice cream machine Mom and Dad but it's still a Shovel, And you can call a lie whatever you want, But it's still a no good stinking lie! And when you start covering one lie with another lie, That's when you get into real trouble! Boy I've, I've just about had it up to here with you two!
Stephan and Linda listened in shocked silence, Taking in every word that he said.
Stephan: Butters… You're as right as rain.
Linda knelt down and ruffled Butters hair.
Linda: You sure are.
Butters: I ain't in trouble for hollering at ya am I?
Linda: No Butters, You're the best son in the whole world, And I'm so happy that you're alive.
Butters: Well I'm happy you're alive too Mom, So now can we go to Bennagins?
Stephan: You bet Son, But first, Mommy and Daddy have to do something first.
And he picked up the Phone.
A few hours later, A large crowd of People gathered around the Stotch residence gathered for another Press conference, Just as the Stotches came out.
Stephan: We… have an Announcement to make, Our son has been returned to us!
As Butters came out and stood beside his Parents, Everyone cheered and clapped.
Stan: Butters is alive?
Kenny: (That's great!)
Stephan: But that isn't all we have to say, You see we learned an Important lesson today and it took the smarts of our young son to show us.
Butters: That's me.
Linda: We learned that deception is wrong and the only way to make it right again is to come clean.
Butters: Yeah!
The Ramsey's Condit and O.J. were also in the crowd and were confused.
Stephan: You see, I've bean deceiving my wife for several months, I was going to See gay movies and hanging out in Gay bath houses and having sex with Random men I didn't know.
Everyone was shocked.
Butters: Ye- Wait what?
Cartman: Huho!
Sokka: We did not need to know that!
Mr. Garrison: And I was not one of them!
Linda: And when I found out I went crazy, I went crazy and I drove my son into the River in an attempt to kill him before attempting to kill myself.
Butters: K-Kill me?! Jesus Christ!
Everyone gasped.
Jack: We already figured that out!
Stephan: So you see, there was no "Some Puerto Rican guy." He doesn't exist, And so the people we owe the biggest apology to are the Ramsey's, Congressman Condit and O.J. Simpson, We gave you false hope in finding the person who hurt those closest to you and for that we're sorry, Now we're just happy that we won't have to live a life of secrets, For I knew that even though some of you supported us, Some others were Looking at us and thinking… YOU'RE A LIAR, YOU'RE A LIAR!
Condit was surprised.
Stephan: You know something you're not telling us you slimy scumbag LIAR! You know that's what people would say to me, And then people would see my wife in the supermarket and say "Hello" But they would really be thinking, "Ah there goes that MURDERER!"
O.J. Simpson was shocked.
Stephan: YOU GOT AWAY WITH MURDER YOU MURDING WASTE OF LIFE! And to me, People might say things like-
He looked at Condit again.
Stephan: LIAR! TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW YOU GOD DAMN LIAR! And so to both of us, People all over town would be saying things like.
And he Looked straight at the Ramsey's.
Stephan: You know god damn what happened to your kid, SO STOP ACTING LIKE VICTIMS, AND CONFESS YOU MURDERING MURDERS! CONFESS! LIAR! CONFESS! And that's what people would think and say to us and so, We just had to come forward and tell the Truth.
The Ramsey's Condits and O.J. were speechless.
Linda: We're sorry we lied to you all, It won't happen again.
Stephan: And now if you excuse us, This Family has to get to Bennigans.
And with that, Stephan and Linda went back into their house and everyone left, Leaving Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Butters, The Ramsey's, Condit and O.J. left, The former three went up to a still shocked Butters.
Dipper: Wow Butters, Your Dad's a man slut and your Mom tried to kill you.
Butters: Yeah, Everyone's really going to make fun of me for this.
Mabel: Don't worry We'll shut em up for ya.
Patsy: YOU SON OF A BITCH JOHN! YOU HAD THAT CULT OF NECROMANCERS BRING ME BACK BECAUSE YOU SAID FOUND OUR DAUGHTER'S KILLER! NOW I'LL NEVER HAVE CLOSURE! MY NEW LIFE HAS NO FULFILLMENT!
And Patsy pulled a gun to her head and Shot herself! Dipper, Mabel, Wendy and Butters looked on in momentary wide eyed shock.
Wendy: And now… We just watched a resurrected Patsy Ramsey kill herself…. Okay.
Butters: I really wish I didn't know the First stuff, I guess I learned that sometimes lying can be for the best, Oh well, Once I get that chipotle bleu cheese bacon burger at Bennigans, I'll forget all about my Dad being a whore and my Mom trying to kill me.
Dipper: Really?
Butters: No I'm lying.
Just then Stephan poked his head through the door.
Stephan: Let's go Son!
Butters: Comin Dad!
And Butters followed his Dad back into the House, But Quickly poked his head out.
Butters: Oh, And tell my friend thanks for bringing me back!
And he went inside again.
Dipper: What Friend?
Then Chef came up to them.
Chef: Hello Children, Heard they found Butters again, He came with some Traveler from the South, Had a few scrapes along the way and she's currently in Hell's pass, She said she was looking for you and Mabel, Dipper.
Dipper and Mabel were confused.
Dipper: Looking for us?
Later.
Dipper and Mabel walked down the hall with Wendy, Mark, Harrold and Valorie as they were led to the Travelers room.
Nurse: She hit her head when she was attacked, But she should be coming too now.
Dipper: Whose she?
Mabel: And what Happened to her?
Nurse: Well, You'll just have to ask her.
The Moment Dipper entered the room first, His eyes widened in shock.
In the room, He found the Stranger in the Bed past out for a Moment, then slowly started to wake up as she rose to a sitting position and brushed away her bell shaped hair to see Dipper.
Pacifica: Dipper?
To be Continued.
Hello Everyone How have you been? I know it's been a while, But I've been busy with things, I've had to go through a few legal issues concerning Stories and Drama with others lately, But I hope to work them out soon.
Also on the Story, Now we have Pacifca front and center now, She'll be a Major character in this Franchise, And when I mean Major, I "Mean." Major! And soon there will be Other stories in the Great Saga of Crossover Legends, All Culminating into one, And Coming soon, Will be The Quest of the Black Cauldron and Mabel's Adventure, The Former coming soon to .
See ya next time and check out my other Stories.