And we're back. Thanks to CajunBear73, Jimmy1201, David Falkayn, MrDrP and a guest for reviewing Chapter 1, and to everyone else who read it.

Disclaimer: Disney owns Kim Possible.

Chapter 2
"For Hoop the Belles Toll"

Once the Spirit Week committee approved the tournament idea, the two sides conferred on Wednesday evening to decide how to proceed. Since Kim was making an effort to rein in her control-freaky Kimness (as evidenced by her letting Liz take the squad slot on the Spirit Week panel) so she'd have more time to enjoy essential Ron-ness, she delegated Jess and Crystal to handle negotiations for the cheer squad. They discussed what sports to play on which days and by what rules. It took a lot of back-and-forth to hammer out the details, but they got there in the end.

In a before-school meeting in the squad's locker room on Thursday they reported back.

Jess began the briefing. "Okay, to begin with, sorry Tara, but your suggestion did not make the cut."

"What? I didn't make any—"

"Yeah, I'm sorry to say the sports girls nixed your 'bikini mud wrestling' idea."

Tara reddened. "Oh, shut, you!"

"Too bad, we'd've slaughtered them," Marcella remarked. "Bonnie loves to fight dirty."

"Where is Bonnie, anyway?" Liz asked.

"Didn't want to miss her beauty sleep," replied Hope.

"She's on board with this, right?" asked Crystal. "She's probably our best all-around athlete after Kim."

"Oh sure, she likes the idea," Hope reassured her. "Marcella and I are encouraging her to think the war might start up again for reals if things go tits up."

"I wish I could stop thinking that," Kim mumbled.

"Getting on to the actual topic," Crystal said. "The basic schedule is: Monday: three-on-three basketball. Tuesday is a swimming relay at the pool."

"Assuming Kim's BF doesn't drain all the water into the caf," put in Jess.

Hope snickered. "Those freckle-faced blonds are always causing trouble, amirite?"

"Wednesday we've got a trail run relay to the top of Brummer's Overlook. You all know the place, right?"

"I've been, but never in daytime," Marcella said. Laughter ensued, as Brummer's was a popular area make-out spot.

"Where were we? Oh! Thursday—assuming we haven't already won the first three …"

"Which we will," Jess insisted.

"… will be golf."

"Golf?" said Kim. "With no mad Scotsman, or mad campaign manager? How refreshing."

"Mad angry or mad crazy?" asked Tara.

"Usually both. So, who suggested that one?"

"I did," Jess said. "It's a good event for us. It'll be at Farley's pitch-and-putt course. Stevie and I spent a lot of dates there last summer. He says I'm a natural with the wedge."

Liz tried to construct a double entendre out of that, but couldn't quite bring it off before the moment passed.

"Oh, so we got a ringer! Super!" Marcella exclaimed.

"What about you, Liz?" Crystal asked. "Logan the Golfer been giving you tips?"

"PHRASING!" Kim and Jess cried out as one. "Jinx! You owe me a soda!" said who else?

"I think Liz has been doing the teaching in that relationship," Hope snarked.

"The student was ready, so I appeared," the redhead said smugly.

"What's another word for 'appeared'? Four letters, starts with 'C'? Marcella snarked.

"Moving on," Crystal directed. "Friday's event, again, only if necessary, will be six-on-six soccer."

"We won't raise as much money if we beat them three straight," Tara pointed out.

Kim raised an eyebrow. "I hope you're not suggesting we tank the early events, Tara?"

"Noooo. I'm just saying …"

"I think even in the worst case we'll raise a good amount of money. All the sports girls will be out looking for sponsorships, and so will we. Feel free to drop my name out there; lots of folks owe me favors."

"Are we competing with them in fundraising, too?"

"No, Hope, the contest is just to prove we're the best athletes."

"Well, Kim, you're right and yet you're wrong," Jess said. "T, you've got the freaky memory, remind us all what Traci said the other day, after Hope's little tension breaker."

"She said '… when it comes to actual sports we'd kick your butts, and we're every bit as hot as you if not hotter!' "

"Exactly," Jess said, touching an index finger to her nose. "While it's not in the official program, we'll also be vying to see who's hotter. And to that end, we propose that in the hoops, trail run and soccer the girls competing wear the track team's uniform." She reached into her backpack and brought out a pair of abbreviated short shorts—practically a swimsuit bottom—and a sports bra, both pieces in the school's purple and gold.

Kim shot the blonde a dubious look. "That's all?"

"Okay, there's also this mesh singlet they wear over it that they attach their competitor numbers to. But at meets lots of girls take it off between events. And if they can do it, we can do it better."

"Jess is right," Marcella said. "If we want to get the spectators into this, buying our T-shirts and such, what better way than to do what we do best: Sex it up!"

Liz beamed. "That'll really get the boys into it. And that'll bring along the rest of the girls in school who aren't into sports."

"It's a synergy," Tara said.

"Actually, Liz," Crystal pointed out, "some girls would be attracted by us in these outfits even if there were no boys around."

"Thanks to the chair of our squad's Diversity committee for that important reminder," Kim said. Crystal had earned that slot by virtue of her boast that the 32 great-great-great-grandparents on her family tree hailed from 30 different countries on every continent except Antarctica. "Now as to this suggested costume …"

"No, Kim! Please don't veto it!" Liz implored.

Marcella chimed in. "We need to really bring it on next week, every way we can!"

"C'mon, Kim, don't try to tell us it's too skimpy," Jess entreated. "We remember your bikini from the pool party."

"What I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted," the teen hero said with a villainous grin, "is: I think it's spankin'!"

Sighs of relief all around.

"What'll we wear for golf?"

"We're thinking of leaving that personal choice," said the freckled blonde. "Me, I'd probably wear my favorite Daisy Dukes. I hit some of my best shots in those shorts; they're lucky. And I like to play braless. Frees the swing up; no constriction."

"Well, if you got 'em, may as well bring 'em on," observed Crystal.

"Hmmm, I wonder if I'd play even better topless …?"

Kim shook her head. "I'm thinking not, Jess. We want attention from our boys, not the Vice Squad."

As the seven cheerleaders prepared to head to their first class Tara spoke up. "Keep in mind, everyone, the two keys to getting and keeping most boys'—and some girls'—attention are easy to remember. They're right there in the first two letters of my name."

Liz looked puzzled. "M and O? I don't get it."

The rest of the squad glared at the redhead.

"Ahhh … first name. Gotcha."

Thursday and Friday the girls spread the word all over school. Excitement built rapidly. The newspaper readied a special section for the showdown. The A/V Club was enlisted to video the events and produce competitor features, which thanks to Ron Rieger and the Computer Club would stream on the showdown's page on a popular social media site. T-shirts were designed and printed. They went with different designs for the opposing sides, hoping some fans might buy both.

By Monday, the anticipation was palpable.

Mr. Farley's original small batting cage facility had expanded over the years into a sprawling indoor/outdoor recreational empire. He owned (along with his bankers) the popular Middleton Mini Golf with its Eiffel Tower, sinking mini-Titanic (now restored after the Prince Wally melee) and the 6th hole palace; a nine-hole pitch-and-putt golf course and driving range; a go-kart track with a stable of electric karts; plus the aforementioned soccer field and the venue for the first event, a half basketball court with bleachers and nearby snack bar.

The sports girls, clad in shorts and tight tops, were there waiting for their opponents. As was Traci's wont, her top displayed abundant cleavage.

"I'm still not feeling a hundred percent on this, Traci," Megan Hadley fretted. "B-ball is my sister's thing; I get fouled black-and-blue if I get near a hoop. That's why I like volleyball; the defense stays on the other side of a net."

"Trust me, Mile High. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you and ruin our shot at States," Traci reassured her towering teammate. "I just want you to show your stuff in the warm-up so they know they can't double-up on me. I promise in the game I won't dish you the rock unless you're completely left alone."

"Okay, but if Rockwaller hacks my arms off you'll be the one explaining it to Coach."

The cheer squad arrived, Kim, Bonnie, Crystal and Tara suited up to play and the other four in cheer uniforms, accompanied by various boyfriends and other hangers-on, including three of the sub-varsity cheerleaders. These were Crystal's two sisters: Amber, a junior, and Pearl, from the freshman squad; and Hope's sister Charity, another junior.

"Well, aren't they looking underdressed and oversexed," Traci remarked sarcastically.

"Just what the boys like to see," replied Meg. "But worry not, Traci, as long as they're making scoop-neck shirts you'll never lack for male attention."

"Likewise short shorts and you, 'Legs.' "

"What about me?" said junior Beth Becket, the third player.

"You? Why, you're just cute as a button, Beth," Traci told the tiny gymnast, lifting her up and twirling around with her to indignant protests.

"And you've got that sparkling personality," added Meg.

When Traci was sure the cheerleaders' eyes were on the court she said, "Okay, Mile High, show time," and she dribbled the ball as far from the bucket as she could get, then turned and threw up an alley-oop pass toward the rim.

Megan soared skyward.

Onlookers disagreed for the rest of the day about how high above the court the ball was when Meg seized it in her huge right hand. Some said it was at least sixteen feet off the ground; it was probably more like twelve. There was no disagreement about what she did with it: she guided it through the rim with a delicacy that didn't threaten to shatter the backboard, but electrified the fans nonetheless.

"Okay, what are we going to do about that?" asked Tara.

"I honestly wouldn't be too concerned about Meg," Jess's boyfriend Steve, the sports authority of the group, said. "They're just playing mind games with you; she's not going to risk injury by mixing it up against defenders. It's Traci you need to worry about. That girl can take it to the hole … so to speak. Just a few years ago in pickup games she was regularly schooling guys who are on our varsity now. She'd be on our girls' team if she didn't swim in the winter instead."

"And what's Beth doing out there?" Liz wondered. "I thought it was just us against volleyball?"

"No, we decided all the girls' teams could contribute players," Jess said. "But don't worry, we made a rule that they can't use anyone in a sport she's played for school. So no basketball players today, no soccer players Friday …"

"But why Beth? Is she even five feet tall? Why put her up in basketball?" Crystal said.

Steve shrugged. "I've never seen her play."

"Amber and I have gym with her—" began Charity, but the older teens ignored her.

After warm-ups were completed the teams met for a short opening ceremony and the toss of a coin to see who would take possession of the basketball first. The sports girls won. Kim and Traci clasped hands for the photographers, but Traci didn't let go.

"So Possible, I know we're playing for bragging rights here, but what do you say we make this tournament a little more interesting?"

"What's on your mind, Traci?"

"How about when we win we get your fancy locker room for the rest of the fall? And maybe the winter and spring sports get it for their seasons, too. You girls can change in the gym lockers."

"No way," Bonnie said, jumping in. "That's our room. Why don't you ask the Volleyball Team Alumni Association to build you one of your own? Oh wait, you don't have an alumni association, do you? Too bad, so sad."

"It's an idea," Kim said, waving away her co-captain. "But what do we get when we win?"

Traci shrugged. "What do you want?"

Kim made a proposal. After a brief back-and-forth, with some modifications offered by the other girls, it was accepted over Bonnie's objections. They shook on it.

Traci took the ball in with Kim defending her. Bonnie got all up in Megan's grill (or at least her navel), but the tall girl stood near the sideline in a convincing imitation of a utility pole with her hands safely behind her back. Crystal guarded Beth; Tara sat with her boyfriend, in reserve.

Traci dribbled confidently with her left hand, easily protecting the ball from Kim's feints at a steal. Nothing seemed to be about to happen when without warning Beth took three quick steps back to a spot well behind the three point line. Before Crystal could react Traci dealt a perfect no-look bounce pass to the diminutive girl, who let fly a two-handed set shot right off a circa 1950 Minneapolis Lakers highlight reel that kissed the backboard and swished through the hoop. The crowd cheered.

"She'll sink that from Denver if the wind's with her," Traci told an astonished Kim. "You cheerleaders are goin' down like cheerleaders in a raunchy direct-to-video teen sex comedy."

And so they did.

We won't dwell on the carnage. No defense the cheerleaders could devise could stop the sports trio from scoring at will, with Traci driving the lane whenever she fancied. With Megan throwing down a couple more dunks whenever her defender looked away for as much as half a second. And with Beth sneaking free for more three-point moon shots from the far corners of the court. On offense, Kim's every dribble was contested by Beth, who seemed to be wearing super-speed shoes, while the two tall foes easily cut off all passing lanes. Call it a rout and let's move directly to the post-mortem recriminations.

"This is a disaster, Kim, and it's all your fault!" ranted Bonnie. "We're going to lose our locker room thanks to you! This is why I should be sole captain. This never would have happened when my mom or my sisters ran the squad. Ugh, the terrible two are going to lord this over me for the rest of forever—"

"Don't be such a drama llama, B," Kim said. "It's just one event."

"Yeah, Bonnie," Tara said. "It's not Kim's fault. The rest of us agreed to the bet too."

"I didn't agree!"

"Yeah, when we thought we'd win we agreed. Farewell, my poor massaging water jets, we hardly knew ye." Marcella sobbed.

Liz was distraught. "No heated shower floor for Lizzie's poor little tootsies this winter."

"No heated towels," groused Bonnie.

"That gym locker room is kinda gorchy," Tara opined, pulling a face.

"How will I do my makeup without my precious vanity mirror with selectable lighting modes from Daytime to Office to Intimate Evenings?" wailed Hope. "I'll be dateless all year!"

"Shouldn't've dumped Felix Renton," Jess muttered to Tara, who nodded sagely.

"I can't believe this pity fiesta in here. I thought this was the room where the regionals-winning cheer squad dressed, not the place for the kind of quitter talk I'm hearing today. It sickens me! And nobody here's even tied to a fake cactus!"

Crystal grabbed the teen hero by her shoulders and began to shake her. "Kim, if we lose our special room to those sports girls, I swear imma tell my Gramma Ruby to haunt you for the rest of your life, not me!"

"Amp down, Crys," said Kim, "Gramma Ruby's not haunting anybody. I saw her at the football game just the other night, alive as you and me."

"THIS WILL KILL HER!"

"All right, girls, this ends right now. We lost one event. One! This is not some 22 minute TV episode here, this is a whole week-long story arc. When I'm out there foiling evil there's almost always a few teeny-weeny little setbacks along the way. This is exactly the same thing."

"You think so?" said Hope, er … hopefully.

"I know so. Payback time starts tomorrow. We'll regroup and win the swimming relay, and we'll be all square again."

"Yeah!" Liz said. "We'll have them eating our dust! Well … our water, I guess. Drinking it, that is …"

to be continued …

So that's the first event in the books. Find out what happens in the swimming race in our next exciting episode, "Pool Queue" or "Water Wee To-Do," coming soon.