Trigger Warning - nightmares of rape/ talk of abuse and rape

Chapter 28 Never Nothing

She was suffocating. She couldn't breathe. The weight of the heavy body on top of her nearly crushed her into the mattress. Regina trembled beneath her husband as he painfully groped her breast with one hand, the other pinning her wrists above her head. His kisses burned her skin and she tried moving away from him when she felt his hard member against her center.

That earned her a slap to the face.

"Stay still!" he snapped.

She grunted in pain when he entered her, trying and failing to keep the tears from streaming down her cheeks. She tried staying as still and quiet as possible, fearing he'd hit her again. She stared up at the ceiling, waiting for him to finish.

"You know you want this," he whispered and anger suddenly flared up within her because, no she didn't want this old man on top of her, taking what wasn't his to take. She never asked for this life, to live in fear each day and waiting for the next beating. She felt a foreign kind of heat rush through her veins and then she was suddenly watching herself being raped by her husband. It was as if she were watching a movie play out before her.

She watched as her eyes shone purple with power and rage. She watched as the Evil Queen from Henry's stories brutally plunged her hand into her husband's chest and tore out his heart. She was no longer watching herself. She stared at the beating organ in her hand.

He gasped in shock, stumbling back from her in panic as she rose to her knees, her dark eyes on his beating heart in the palm of her hand. He didn't recognize the girl before him. No longer was she the trembling and scared woman he brutalized each day. Her eyes were dark and empty with no remorse.

"Now look who's the helpless one," she said, her voice just as cold as her dark eyes.

"Regina!" he pleaded for the first time in fear. She didn't even look at him and she crushed his heart into dust.

"Regina!"

Emma's voice snapped her back to reality and she let out a panicked sob at the lifeless body before her. She killed her husband and she suddenly couldn't breathe. She could feel someone shaking her as her grip on her dream world started to fade.

"Regina… wake up," Emma called her again, her voice urging her to finally snap out of it. She could feel the change of sheets on the bed, warm and comforting unlike the cold silk ones she had been lying in. Leopold was no longer dead before her. The gritty dust in her hand was gone.

She gasped when she became hyper aware of the pain in her ribs. She couldn't breathe. Her eyes flew open and she panicked when she saw the dark figure hovering over her. Her mind instantly went to Leopold and for a moment she was back in the mansion on her bed. Fear of getting a beating flashed through her mind and she panicked.

She sat up quickly despite her painful ribs and backed up into the headboard.

"Regina, it's just me!" Emma reached over and turned on the bedside lamp, filling the room with a dim glow. She looked around at the tiny room Mary Margaret had created in the corner, separated by a curtain from the rest of the loft. Her breaths were fast and she felt as if she were about to pass out. She can still feel a ghost of pain between her legs and the surge of magic flowing through her veins. She can feel the dust of Leopold's heart falling between her fingers.

Emma reached out and Regina tried backing away even more if it was possible. She flinched away from her hand, closing her eyes as if she were expecting to get hit. Her mind was still in the reality of being brutally punished. Leopold would hit her, shove her out of the bed, and force her to sleep somewhere else. Of course she knew Emma would never hurt her, but she couldn't help the familiar old fear from blooming within.

"It was just a dream," she whispered, her voice trembling. "It's Emma. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Emma…" she whispered, using her name as a way to ground herself, to remind herself that she was safe in Mary Margaret's loft; That Leopold wasn't here. She couldn't control her rapid breaths as her fear started to escalate into panic.

"I need you to breathe," Emma said softly, about to reach out but then stopped. Regina was a bit relieved. Being touched was the last thing she wanted right now. A sob escaped her lips as she desperately tried to regulate her breaths.

"You're ok," Emma said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed and not moving any closer, respecting her space. She was trembling so hard.

"He was on top of me… and I…" She couldn't even finish. She could still see his lifeless eyes.

A flash of anger flickered in those green eyes and Regina instinctively shrunk back, used to being the target of Leopold's anger. She was so shaken up from her nightmare, she was having trouble controlling the fearful reactions she had grown so accustomed to for years. Emma must have seen her fearfulness, because she slowly reached out and seemed relieved that she didn't flinch away this time. She took her hand, squeezing it as she moved to sit on the bed. She gently coaxed her into her arms and held her. Maybe her embrace would have had her tensing in the past, but now she welcomed the comfort Emma freely gave her, and she allowed herself to melt into her arms.

"You're ok now," she whispered, her voice heavy with grief. They sat like that for a few moments before Regina decided she had enough and slowly pulled away, suddenly feeling embarrassed. She craved Emma's comfort but at the same time she was afraid to accept it. They were just friends; She didn't want to cross any boundaries. Although, Emma seemed to be completely fine with giving her the physical comfort she needed.

"Do you want some tea?" she asked. "We could sit on the couch. We could talk or watch some tv or something."

"Aren't you tired?" she asked, realizing how late it was. Emma looked at her sheepishly and noticed the pillow and blanket on the corner recliner. Has she been sitting in here this entire time? She was supposed to take the couch while Mary Margaret and Henry took her bed up in the loft.

"I couldn't sleep," she admitted. "I was worried you would be in a lot of pain tonight."

"It's nothing I can't handle," she shrugged, eliciting a concerned frown from Emma. She stood and then held out her hand.

"It's never nothing," she assured her, a bit stern. Regina looked at her and saw nothing but truth in her eyes. No one, especially her husband, had ever validated her pain. She was always forced to hide it, to cover the bruises and hold in her tears. She took Emma's hand and with her help she was slowly able to make it to the living room couch. Emma gathered the unused sheets and blankets and bundled them up, throwing them on a recliner so that they could sit. Regina was already breathless from the short distance from the bed and the couch.

"What's your pain level right now?" Emma asked, kneeling before her and squeezing her hands. Her green eyes were so concerned, it was still so hard for Regina to accept that someone finally cared to see her.

"Seven," she truthfully whispered, holding her gaze. "I think lying down too long is making it worse."

"It's too soon for another pain med, but how about some tea and some ibuprofen?"

Regina nodded, still a bit surprised at the amount of care Emma took with her. She was quiet as she watched Emma start the tea kettle and then bring over some aspirin with water. She gratefully took them, swallowing the pills with water and then handing back the glass.

"Thank you," she said, her tone holding much more meaning than it should. She wasn't just thanking her for the aspirin. She was thanking her for being so gentle, for acknowledging her pain. For taking care of her.

Emma set the glass down on the coffee table and sat beside her, looking at her with searching eyes. She looked so beautiful with her blonde messy curls and shining green eyes. She was in her pajamas, flannel pants and a tank top. Regina couldn't keep her eyes from roaming her soft curves or even where the edge of her tank top rode up revealing just a bit of skin. She wasn't sure when she had started to look at her like this. She didn't understand why suddenly she wanted to run her fingers through those silky locks or how she found herself getting lost in those green orbs.

"What are you thinking about?" Emma asked, clearly catching on to her meaningful tone.

"I just…" Regina let out a huff, not really sure how to explain this. "I'm not used to being taken care of when I'm hurt. I'm used to dealing with my pain alone. I just wanted to thank you."

Emma smiled and Regina felt her heart speed up at how big and bright it was. How it lit up her eyes so beautifully. Since the day Emma showed up in Storybrooke, since the day they became friends, little by little she started looking at her differently until she could no longer deny the obvious attraction to her.

She saw something in Emma's eyes that she couldn't quite decipher. Before any of them could say anything else, the tea kettle went off and Emma grabbed her empty glass and rushed to the kitchen to shut it off before it woke Mary Margaret and Henry. She quickly made two mugs of tea and brought them over, setting them on the coffee table. She sat back down beside her but this time with a little more distance between them.

"Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" Emma asked. Regina froze for a moment, not exactly sure how to even explain what she had been dreaming of. How could she tell her that her husband was raping her and she had tore his heart out. She was afraid of scaring her, of making her think she was a monster. She shook her head and Emma seemed to understand her fear. She shifted, moving a bit closer and gently coaxing her into her arms.

She welcomed the comfort Emma so freely gave her. She cuddled into her side, resting her head on her shoulder, and her ribs feeling so much better in this upright position. Lying down in bed too long seemed to have worsened the pain.

"He … He was on top of me," she whispered again, not willing to share anything else. She tucked her legs up underneath her, suddenly feeling him inside her. She squeezed her thighs in an effort to rid the phantom pains of him stretching her. This was the first time she had opened up to anyone about Leopold raping her.

"Can I ask you something?" Emma asked carefully. "You don't have to answer if you're uncomfortable."

Regina nodded, completely trusting her. For some reason, opening up to Emma wasn't as hard as it was opening up to other people. Emma had somehow become her person.

"Was he your first?" she asked, her voice heavy with grief as if she couldn't accept the truth of a man taking advantage of a 17 year old girl. Regina didn't answer. She didn't say a word, but Emma must have seen her hands shaking because she was suddenly covering them with her own to help calm her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that," she said instantly, sounding remorseful for even asking such a heavy question in the first place.

Regina shook her head, not wanting her to feel the need to apologize. She wanted to tell her, maybe not in detail but it was a start in sharing a bit about what she had gone through.

"Daniel and I never got the chance," she admitted, surprising Emma. She watched her with glistening green eyes. "And then he…" She let out a shaky breath, the memory of her wedding night all too clear in her head. "It happened the night of the wedding."

Emma shook her head in disgust, her embrace tightening as if she could somehow protect her from the memories alone. Regina let her comfort wash over, her warm body grounding her and keeping her from drowning in her trauma. Her first sexual experience had been rape. She didn't even have to say it. Emma was trembling and from the sound of her shaky breaths, Regina knew she was desperately trying to hold back her tears.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice heavy with remorse. Regina didn't say anything. There was nothing to say and instead she let Emma hold her. She didn't want to talk about her nightmares. She didn't want to think about the nights Leopold raped her in her own bed. She wanted to feel safe for once. Safe enough to let down her guard. She grew heavy in Emma's arms, feeling sleep starting to wash over her. She thought maybe she should pull away now and suggest they go back to bed but she was too comfortable, the pain in her ribs finally at a durable ache instead of the blinding sharp pain they had been in. Emma didn't seem to mind and instead, pulled a blanket up over them.

"Are you ok sitting up like this?" Emma asked.

She must have drifted off, because she had heard Emma's voice but was far too gone to respond. Emma shifted a bit as if to make them more comfortable. She could have sworn she felt lips kissing her forehead but then again she thought she might have been dreaming. They were just friends. Emma would never kiss her like that.

When she woke up hours later, she was lying on the couch, cuddled under the blanket. She could hear the whispered voices of Mary Margaret and Emma speaking. She shifted, stretching a bit and groaned as a sharp pain tore through her ribs. In fact it was so painful, her eyes flew up open and she cried out, gaining the attention of the two women who were in the kitchen.

Emma rushed over and was by her side instantly.

"Hey, easy…" she said softly. "Let me help you up."

She felt sick from the movement of sitting up after lying on her ribs for so long. She took deep breaths, trying to keep herself from passing out from the pain alone. Mary Margaret brought over some water with a dose of pain medication and Regina gratefully took them.

"Thank you," she handed the glass back with trembling hands. She felt sticky and desperately needed to use the bathroom but the thought of even attempting to get up and walk across the loft seemed impossible when her ribs were in this much pain. It was hard to believe that she had once suffered through so many injuries alone when she could barely sit up on her own right now.

She didn't want Emma helping her into the tub, didn't want her taking care of her like this when she had already done so much, but Mary Margaret hadn't seen the scars or bruises, and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. Then again, she didn't want Emma seeing her naked, not like this at least. She'd have to go with asking for Mary Margaret's help even if she had to swallow her pride.

"I… want to take a bath," she said, unsure if she'd be able to stand in the shower. Emma nodded, moving the blanket off of her. "But I want Mary Margaret to help me," she admitted carefully, afraid she'd make Emma feel invalid. She wasn't looking at anyone, in fact her gaze fell to her fidgeting hands, as if she were afraid she had done something wrong.

"Regina," Emma was suddenly lifting her chin so she'd meet her concerned gaze. "I understand if you don't want me in the bathroom with you. It's nothing to feel ashamed of or apologize for."

"I just don't want you to see me like this anymore, let alone helping me in the damn tub."

"I know," she nodded, validating her fears. "Even if you were to let me help you, it wouldn't change the way I look at you, this incredibly strong woman who became my best friend."

Something within her stirred at those words, something a little more than affection. She's been having these strange feelings a lot lately and it took everything inside her to push it down. How could Emma ever want to be involved with someone like her? Someone with such a dark past and trauma. Maybe, being friends was all they could ever be.

"Hey, you ok?" Emma whispered, placing her hand on her cheek and getting her to meet her eyes again. Regina nodded and then allowed her to help her to her feet.

It was a hard process but she finally made it into the bathroom with both Emma and Mary Margaret's help and just as she requested, Emma left her and Mary Margaret alone so that she could wash up. By the time she had gotten out of the tub and went through the painful process of getting dressed into slacks and a blouse at her insistence, Mary Margaret helped her out into the living room where Katherine was sitting at the table with Emma.

Katherine immediately stood with teary blue eyes. They haven't seen each other since the night of the dinner party, since Leopold had forbidden them to see each other.

"Regina…" she whispered, rushing over and hugging her, probably already aware of her injuries with how gentle she was being. Mary Margaret stepped back, letting Katherine support her as she tightly held on to her old friend no matter how painful her ribs were. She felt a heavy surge of emotion within and the urge to sob became overwhelming. She forced it down, although a few tears seeped through. She quickly wiped her eyes as they pulled away. Katherine helped her into a chair and knelt before her. She gently caressed her cheek, looking into her eyes and observing the heavy bruising on her face.

"You are not going back to him this time," she said sternly, confident that this time was the last that he would ever put his hands on her again. Regina nodded, for the first time finally starting to really believe that this was it. This was her final attempt at getting away from him, because now she had a group of strong women standing behind her, who would never let him take her back to her prison again. That deep fear he had instilled in her no longer chained her to him. She wasn't going to lose Henry. They were going to fight for him, just as they fought for her. She would never let him take him just as he had taken her daughter.

"Where do we go from here?" she asked as Katherine took a seat beside her. Emma was on her otherside with Mary Margaret across from her.

"Reopening your case won't be easy," she started and Regina noticed for the first time her briefcase under the table. Katherine picked it up and placed it on the table and opened it. She started pulling out different forms. "It's not impossible though but would take time. These are the forms to reopen it and will have to be submitted to the courts. We have evidence of him forging documents and being involved in illegal transactions. We also have evidence of his abuse towards you so I have a feeling the court will rule in your favor whether he is the mayor or not."

She handed them over to Regina and she went through them carefully before signing anything. This was Regina's area of expertise and she wasn't going to just sign without reading the fine print. She and Katherine discussed certain terms and when she finally felt satisfied, she signed and dated. Their understanding was that reopening the case could take months and that by the time that it did, Leopold would have probably been sentenced and her divorce might already have gone through. As much as they both wanted to get it over with as soon as possible, they both knew they needed to be patient.

"When is Leopold's trial?" Regina asked after they had gone over what to expect for his case and what kind of charges he'll be sentenced with.

"In about four months and you'll have to testify since he's denying the abuse and rape allegations. Although with all the evidence we've gathered against him, there's no way the court will side with him. I wouldn't worry too much about him being sentenced. Our main concern is custody over Henry." Regina kept her composure despite the slight tremble of her hands. She buried them in her lap although Emma had caught it and was gently reaching over and covered her hands with hers. "If the judge finds him guilty, then he'll lose all parental rights to Henry. If he somehow gets let off easy then you might have to share custody."

"That can't be an option," Regina stated. "I got Henry out of there just in time. Leopold was quickly losing his patience with him and was talking about sending him to boarding school. There's no doubt in my mind that he would have struck him if things continued to escalate."

"Boarding school?" Emma asked angrily.

"It was after the mines," Regina explained.

"She needs full custody. There's no way I'm letting him near Henry!" Emma panicked and Katherine handed Regina another packet.

"These forms are to request full custody no matter what the outcome is in his trial. However, he'll have to sign over his parental rights."

"He's not going to do that," Regina grumbled in frustration as she read over the documents.

"If that's the case, then his rights will be determined by the court during his trial."

"Who is representing him?" Emma asked.

"Albert Spencer, the same man he hired years ago in Regina's trial."

Regina kept her composure, her eyes scanning the documents as she tried not to think about her own trial years ago when she had been a frightened 17 year old girl. She could remember Albert Spencer's cold eyes as he spoke against her. He was Leopold's friend, and she often found herself in his presence over the years. They were the same in their cruelness.

When Regina was finally done with the packet requesting full rights to Henry, Katherine handed her the final paperwork. The divorce papers. She didn't even go through them. She didn't care for the terms. She wanted to be done with the son of a bitch and immediately signed them.

"When will Leopold get these?" Emma asked as Katherine started packing up.

"We would have to set up a meeting with him and Spencer," she said and Regina trembled at the thought of facing him again. "I'll keep you updated. Meanwhile I'll get these documents processed. It shouldn't take long."

Regina nodded and after one last goodbye, Katherine let herself out. Regina was growing tired from sitting up. Emma helped her over to the bed where she cuddled under the blankets in relief. She was so out of it she barely even heard Henry rushing down the loft, ready for school. She was already drifting off as he kissed her cheek and whispered goodbye in her ear.

Regina had slept the afternoon away while Emma sat in the corner of the room keeping a watchful eye over her as she got some work done on her laptop. She was worried, especially after her nightmare last night. She was glad she was getting some more sleep. She was still processing everything Regina had shared last night. It wasn't much, but it was enough to break her heart. Regina's first sexual experience had been rape. She was a child that had been forced to lie with a man old enough to be her father. Emma couldn't even begin to understand how this could happen. She never met Regina's mother, but she knew she must be a heartless woman to give away her daughter like that.

She hadn't realized how much time had passed until Mary Margaret was returning home from work. She had moved to the bar by this time with a mug of hot chocolate. Her barely eaten lunch sat beside her computer.

"Hey, where's Henry?" she asked, slightly alarmed as her roommate came in and hung her coat on the rack. She placed her boots and work bag on the bench by the door and came into the kitchen to make herself a snack.

"He's with David at the park. We figured he could use some cheering up."

"But what about Leopold!?"

"He's safe, Emma," she assured her. "He has some experience as an officer. He trained in the Boston force before moving here to Storybrooke. He didn't apply to work at the sheriff station here in town. He and my father didn't get along at first and he refuses to work for him."

"Ok," Emma sighed in relief. "What is he doing now?"

"He works in the animal shelter."

"He gave up an opportunity to work in the station and works in the shelter instead?"

"Like I said, he didn't want to work under my father's control."

"Did he know about the abuse?"

Mary Margaret shook her head.

"No, in fact I just told him about what happened and he's shocked, but not surprised that Leopold is capable of it. I had to tell him so that he could be aware while watching Henry."

"Good call," she nodded. "The more people on our side the better."

It wasn't long until David and Henry had returned, exhausted from the park. Emma was happy to see him smiling again. She was worried about him, but was relieved that their afternoon fun had at least taken his mind off of things. David was joining them for dinner. At first she was wary of him when she had first moved into the loft, but he was starting to become a friend to her. Henry enjoyed hanging out with him. He probably spent more time with the kid than his own father ever had in his life.

"We should start waking her. Dinner will be ready and it's gonna be painful to get her up," Mary Margaret said as she started setting the table. Emma closed her laptop and got up and went into the bedroom. She could hear David and Henry chatting excitedly as they took a seat at the table. Somehow through all the chaos, Mary Margaret and David had become her friends. She didn't have a family and she was starting to feel at home here in Storybrooke, with Henry and even Regina.

"Regina?" she said sitting on the edge of the bed and caressing her cheek. She didn't want to shake her, knowing her pain was worse when waking up. Regina let out a pain filled groan as she started to stir awake and open her eyes.

"Hungry?" she asked. "Dinner is ready."

"Dinner?" she asked, confused.

"You kind of slept the day away."

Emma helped her sit up and didn't miss the way she stiffened and winced from the pain. Her eyes traveled over to David and Emma noticed the flash of fear in her eyes.

"Hey, are you ok?" she asked as Regina shifted her attention to her once more. She nodded, not looking her in the eye.

"Can you help me up?" she asked.

Once she was on her feet Emma helped her over to the table but as they got closer, Regina's grip tightened on her arm and she started to slow. Emma stopped and looked back at her.

"Regina, are you ok?" David asked as Emma observed how her hands started shaking and how her breaths became short and quick. She broke out into a cold sweat. David really wasn't aware of the extent of the abuse she had suffered and didn't think twice when he went over and placed a hand on her shoulder before Emma could warn him.

"No… please," she panicked, stumbling back and jostling her ribs.

"Regina, you're ok," Emma tried calming her.

"David, step back," Mary Margaret said, seeing the raw fear in her stepmother's eyes. He stepped back and watched in confusion as Emma tried to calm her down.

"Hey, you're safe. Just breathe," she soothed her, realizing she was falling into a panic attack and somehow David was the trigger.

"I... I can't," Regina whispered, unable to catch her breath or stop her shaking hands.

"It's just David," she said softly. "He's not going to hurt you."

"Mom!" Henry rushed over and wrapped his arms around her, and to Emma's surprise, instead of flinching away from him she clung to him as well. "David is not like dad. He won't hurt you."

"David…" she whispered, her eyes suddenly shining with clarity. Emma wasn't sure exactly what just happened, but from Regina's fearful reaction towards David, she had a feeling she had fallen into some kind of dark headspace. Whatever deep overwhelming fear that had settled over her seemed to slowly start to dissipate because her breaths finally evened out. Henry pulled away from her and Emma took her shaking hands. She placed a hand on her cheek, encouraging her to meet her gaze. She didn't flinch away this time.

"Yes, it's David," Emma said softly. "You're safe. He's not going to hurt you."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overreact," she gasped, her breathing still a bit off.

"Don't be sorry," Emma told her. "You're going to have triggers and you're going to react to them."

"Is there anything I can do?" David asked.

"You guys go ahead and start. We'll join you shortly," Emma said, squeezing Regina's hand and then leading her into the bathroom. She still wasn't breathing steadily and her hands were still trembling. She wanted to get her somewhere alone, which was challenging in a loft as small as this one.

Once they were inside and Emma had shut the door, Regina was finally able to breathe better. She had her sit on the edge of the tub, knowing her ribs must be aching from how tense her body had been from her panic attack. Emma grabbed a hand towel and soaked it with cold water. She wrung it out and then knelt down before the shaking woman.

"I just thought it'd be better if you didn't have all those eyes on you," she explained, gently placing the towel on her cheek. Regina closed her eyes at the coolness against her hot skin.

"This isn't me Emma," she whispered, shakily. "I'm not this person."

"Hey, you'll always be the tough no nonsense professor that tried kicking me out of Storybrooke. Just as you'll always be someone with fears and emotions. You have a right to your feelings. You just went through a traumatic marriage that lasted over ten years and experienced horrors that I can't even begin to imagine. No one expects you to come out of it completely unscathed. You're a survivor, and of course you're going to have triggers."

"I just want to be normal again, whatever that is."

Emma smiled and then coaxed her into her arms, having learned that physical comfort was what Regina seemed to crave. Regina buried her face into her shoulder and Emma could feel her tightened hold. Emma couldn't help but breathe in her apple cinnamon scent of her body wash and melt into the warmth of her body. She couldn't even imagine that she had once hated this woman that she deeply cared for now.

Emma held her until she no longer felt her trembling and her breaths were finally at a steady normal rhythm. She finally pulled away and looked into red teary eyes. She had been hiding her tears.

"Ready to go back in?" she asked.

Regina nodded a bit hesitant, and Emma guessed she was probably not up for seeing anyone right now.

"Would you rather go back to bed?" she asked, not wanting to force her into anything she wasn't comfortable with.

"No," Regina said with an air of finality in her tone. She started to get on her feet and Emma helped her before she could lose her balance. "I would like to have dinner with my son."

The evening went on without a hitch. Dinner was delicious and the conversation was light and humorous. Henry really enjoyed it. Dinner in the mansion was always so cold and tense with Leopold. Regina in fact never experienced it either with her controlling mother and then with her husband. It was different. It was warm and domesticated. Love was what she would describe as the heartwarming experience of just simply sitting around the table and talking about their days.

After David had gone home, Emma was up in the loft tucking Henry into bed. Regina had settled on the couch, her ribs in agony by now. Mary Margaret came over with two mugs in hand.

"You know I don't do hot chocolate," she said.

"It's tea." The younger woman handed her the mug and sat next to her. Regina gratefully took it and breathed in the welcoming steam before taking a sip.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"I figured you needed it," she said, the air tense and heavy between them. Their past was still so raw and still full of so much hurt. "Regina, I'm sorry…" she whispered.

Regina looked at her, torn between shutting her out and maybe just taking those first few steps of forgiveness. She thought about their days growing up and how much they loved each other. And then she remembered that night. The blood, the screaming and the fear. Daniel's lifeless eyes and then standing on that marriage altar, signing her life away to a man old enough to be her father.

She looked away, images of abuse flashing before her. Leopold's violent hand striking her in the face. Him standing over her as he'd kick her in the ribs. The weight of his body crushed her as he forced himself on her. She remembered the fear and helplessness. The agonizing pain she dealt with on a day to day basis. The loss of her daughter.

"I know that you want to repair what we once had," she started shakily. "I know that you want forgiveness as much as you want to accept mine, but every time I look at you. Everytime I even think about going back and being sis… friends again. I go back to that night. Daniel is dead. I was forced to marry a man who beat me and raped me every single day. How can I even begin to let your hand in it go?"

She still didn't look at her, her eyes fixed straight ahead and her hands wrapped tightly around the warm steaming mug. She heard the younger woman take a shaky breath and wouldn't be surprised to see tears in her eyes if she were to look at her.

"I understand that Regina. I don't expect your forgiveness but I do forgive you. Maybe one day we can reach a point where it doesn't hurt so much anymore."

"Maybe," she sighed, although she doubted it.