Once again I know nothing about the court of law and how it works. Also this chapter might contradict the first chapter where Emma is moving into the house with Regina in "Her Most Solemn Hour." I am planning to update that and make sure it makes sense after this fic is done. There won't be any big changes, just slight touch ups.

Trigger Warnings - talk of abuse/rape/ misscarriage

Enjoy! We're almost to the end!

Chapter 34 Trust Me With Your Heart

Regina felt his eyes on her the moment she walked in with Katherine and Emma by her side. Leopold was seated with Spencer on the defendant's side. The court room was full of people finding their seats. Their murmurs echoed off the walls creating a chaotic setting. But even through the crowd she knew he was trying to meet her gaze. She didn't dare look at him. She knew he liked seeing her so afraid of him, and even now, she refused to let him see her weak. Just before she approached her seat on the plaintiff's side with Katherine, Emma gently took her hand, and coaxed her to look at her as Katherine walked forward and took her seat.

"You got this," she reminded her. "You're already free of him. You've already got through the hard part. Now, you just have to tell them your story."

She didn't feel free of him, but she wasn't about to say that out loud. She glanced over at him over Emma's shoulder to see him watching them with a perceptive expression. Did he know something was going on between her and the sheriff? She kind of hoped he did. She wanted to show him that she was moving on. That his dark shadow over her wasn't holding her back. And a part of that was not being afraid to love again… She was anticipating her talk with Emma tonight.

She made a quick decision, more out of a need to physically show him that she was moving on with her life. She kissed Emma on the cheek. It was friendly, appropriate, but her gaze locked on to him immediately as she pulled away. He was livid and she felt a thrill rush through her for the reaction she invoked from him. He looked as if he were ready to stand up and cause a scene, but Spencer whispered something in his ear and he immediately calmed down. She smirked and turned her gaze back to Emma.

"You did that to rile him up," she stated with an amused gleam in her eyes.

"I want to show him I don't belong to him anymore."

"You don't belong to anyone," Emma whispered, caressing her cheek for a moment and then letting her take her seat up beside Katherine.

As the trial started, both defense attorneys were brutal in questioning their witnesses. Ruby, Katherine, Mary Margaret, Graham, Dr. Roe and a couple of Regina's students and even Emma were set to take the stand. They were to account for the times where they had seen her with injuries or times where they had seen Leopold handle her violently. Katherine was first and she had recounted the night of the dinner party all those months ago. She had described the fresh lashes she had seen on her back that night and how Regina seemed to become more and more afraid of him as the night came to an end. She explained how she had tried convincing her to run, but she was too afraid. She recounted word from word the threats Leopold had given her that night when he told her to stay away. She admitted she had felt helpless leaving her there knowing what he was going to do once they were alone. Katherine had tears in her eyes as she made her way back to her seat.

Ruby's testament was no better. She had recounted times before Emma had even arrived to Storybrooke. As a waitress at Grannies, she saw a lot. When Leopold thought he was being discrete or when no one was looking, Ruby was actually seeing everything. She saw when he would pull her outside or in the hall that led to the bathrooms to yell at her. She'd seen him grabbing her violently by the arm or face or even her hair. He'd yell in her face and call her despicable names. She'd seen her come to class with covered bruises on her face, neck and even her arms. She always seemed to be in pain as if she were hiding injuries that couldn't be seen. She then described the most recent incident when he had marched into her lecture hall and assaulted her in front of her students. The other two students that were there to testify backed up Ruby's statements. Regina was shocked to find out just how much her student had seen.

Graham's statement was the worst. He admitted to everything. From the first day he saw Leopold struck Regina all the way to the day he resigned and made Emma deputy. He had witnessed so many beatings, took care of injuries, and covered up everything. He knew about the rapes and did nothing. He did nothing when she pleaded for him to help her. Each time she ran he brought her right back to him. He played as an accomplice and it was stated that a separate trial will be held for him.

Dr. Roe described the night Regina had come into the hospital with broken ribs after escaping Leopold. She described the evidence of rape and that she had injuries that proved it had been going on for years. She had reviewed Regina's past medical files only to find so many unexplained injuries. She pointed out all statements were given by Leopold or Graham. There were injuries that didn't fit the story the hospital was given.

Once the miscarriage started to come up, Regina averted her gaze, unable to look at anyone. Her gaze fell to her hands fidgeting in her lap. She didn't even want to see Emma's reaction. She never told Emma that she had been 5 months pregnant a year before she adopted Henry. She suspected she might have known from the medical records but it was never brought up between them. She dissociated herself, not exactly hearing as Dr. Roe explained how it was reported she had come into the hospital beaten up and bleeding from a ruptured placenta. The baby didn't survive of course. Leopold's statement was that she had fallen down the stairs. She had even brought up that the trauma had been so extensive, it had resulted in an incompetent cervix where it would be nearly impossible for her to have a baby without the risk of miscarriage. Katherine had presented all of the evidence, the medical reports, the rape kit results, the photos from the exam the night she came in after escaping him, and all the photos of past injuries she had acquired. The evidence was looked through by the judge and then passed on to the jury. There were horrified murmurs from the stands.

Regina trembled in her seat until a hand was taking her fidgeting ones and Katherine was whispering in her ear to turn around. She hesitantly turned her head to see Emma looking at her with tear glistening eyes. She mouthed the word breathe and imitated taking a few deep breaths. Regina nodded, turning back in her seat. Her heart was racing as she struggled to take a few deep breaths before looking back up at the stand as Dr. Roe was replaced by Mary Margaret.

She described their past and what it was like living with her father after he had married Regina. She described how he had changed. He seemed angrier especially when it came to her stepmother. She recounted times where she felt like something was wrong between her parents. She remembered little instances where Regina was hurt or seemed as if she were in pain. She then talked about the night she came home from college and how she watched her father smack her across the face. After that she explained how she and her father got into a huge fight about the abuse. She tried helping Regina but her father had such a tight grip on her stepmother, she couldn't get her away. Not even when she bought her a bus ticket to Atlantic City. Regina was accused of stealing and was arrested by Graham and brought right back to Storybrooke. After endless attempts at trying to help Regina, Mary Margaret admitted with shame that she had given up and just completely cut off ties with her father all together. At the end of her statement, she looked at Regina with tears streaming down her cheeks.

She stepped down from the stand and stood before her.

"I know you blame me for what happened, and I'm so sorry I gave up trying to help you," she whispered so only she and Katherine could hear. Regina only shook her head. She didn't even look at her and Mary Margaret shakily went back to her seat in shame.

Finally, Emma was taking the stand. She seemed nervous and Regina met her eyes as she looked out at the courtroom. She gave her a small smile in an attempt to comfort her. The poor woman looked so nervous and distraught from everything she had heard so far. She seemed a bit flushed and her green eyes were misty with unshed tears. Emma took a deep breath and then began telling the court how they had met through Henry. She brought up every single moment where she suspected abuse was going on in the walls of the mansion. All the injuries she had seen along with the way Leopold would grab her. She brought up Leopold's drinking and how it had resulted in some of the more brutal beatings for Regina. Her voice shook throughout her statement and every time she looked at Leopold, a darkness gleamed in her eyes. She even brought up the night she had followed Graham to the mansion under suspicion of him going to treat an injured Regina and the proof of her injuries the next day when the mines had collapsed. She then went into detail how she started investigating Regina's past and brought up all the inconsistent reports along with the secret vault underneath the mausoleum that held all of his illegal documents.

There were murmurs of shock by the court as the evidence was being presented by Katherine. Photos of the tunnels, the key, boxes of reports. Leopold sat livid in his seat as the notion of him possibly being responsible for the disappearance of Sheriff Fynn came up. That had caused a heated stir and the judge had to silence everyone with a loud bang of his gavel.

And then it was Regina's turn. She put on a mask of bravery, hiding the fear and anxiety she felt deep down. She clenched her hands into fists to keep them from shaking as she took the stand. Spencer was brutal in his interrogation in trying to prove she was making up the abuse and sexual assault allegations. He even brought up the injuries she had given Leopold the night she ran. She didn't back down. Not even when he tried to prove she is an unfit mother. If anything, it made her angry and she saw Emma's proud smirk as she verbally told him off.

An observation about her anger was made and if anything got Regina more heated. Leopold wanted everyone to believe she was an angry power hungry wife of the mayor that was trying to get rid of him by making false allegations. Fortunately with all the evidence stacked against him, no one seemed to believe him.

And then she told her story…

She talked about her family history with the Blanchard family. How she was friends with Mary Margaret. She recounted the night of the crash and the events that led up to it. She told the court about her parents and Leopold's involvement in her trial after the death of Daniel. How evidence was tampered with to make her look guilty so that she was forced to marry Leopold to drop a lawsuit against her parents and herself. She described her wedding night, how he had forced her and told her it was her duty as his wife to please him. She told them about the first time he struck her. She described every beating, every rape, and the emotional and mental abuse that Leopold bestowed on her each day. She even told them about the night he beat her so bad she lost her baby.

He found any excuse to punish her. He'd whip her back with a belt. The healed marks on her back burned as if they were freshly made. He would strangle her until she passed out. He would kick her until her ribs broke and she couldn't breathe. He would lock her in the study or in the bedroom for days until she was healed enough to see people. He isolated her and controlled every part of her life. He took what he wanted whenever he wanted, not caring that she never consented.

When she was done, the courtroom was so quiet she was sure they could hear her heart pounding in her chest. She looked at Emma to see she had silent tears streaming down her cheeks. Faces of shock stared back at her. She was losing her grip on her composure. Her hands shook and she could hear her heartbeat in her ears. She barely even heard the judge speaking to her.

"Thank you, Dr. Mills," the judge nodded, dismissing her back to her seat. She felt Leopold staring at her as she returned to the plaintiff's table. She felt sick to her stomach. The judge cleared his throat and looked at Leopold. He was sitting there with an emotionless expression. He didn't even bat an eye at Regina's statement while everyone around him was radiating with shock and disgust.

"Mayor Blanchard, before we end this case and decide who the guilty party is, do you have any last words?"

"Yes, your honor," he replied, his voice just as cold as his expression. He took the stand and fixed his eyes on his wife. Regina shrunk back, suddenly unable to fully keep her composure. She couldn't help but look at him in fear.

"I'm a good mayor. I'm a good father and I tried my best to be a good husband. This witch is manipulating all of you into believing her lies. She just wants my money and my mansion. She doesn't care about Henry. Why do you think he calls her the Evil Queen?"

"And what proof do you have of that!" Emma rose to her feet, unable to stay silent any longer. "You won't even sign the divorce papers!"

The judge slammed the gavel, silencing Emma and the now murmuring court. Regina turned towards the sheriff as she slowly took her seat. Emma caught her eye and once again imitated taking a deep breath and letting it out. Regina hesitated for a moment before following her lead and taking a much needed breath. Emma nodded her approval and then she turned back to the judge as he regained order in the court. Leopold was taken off the stand and took his seat by Spencer.

"The court will decide and recollect in 24 hours. Other than that, the court is dismissed," the judge announced, banging his gavel and signaling the end of the trial. Regina stood and gathered her things as Emma and Mary Margaret approached her and Katherine.

"That was intense. Are you ok?" Emma asked worriedly, slipping her hand into hers and squeezing it in comfort. She shook her head, too nervous to say anything. This was it. Now, her future, Henry's future was in the hands of the judge and the jury.

"So what now?" Mary Margaret asked, glancing at her father as he and Spencer spoke in hushed tones to themselves.

"Now, we wait," Katherine answered the young school teacher. "Although I have a feeling I know which side the jury is leaning towards."

Regina and Mary Margaret had met up with David and Henry at Grannies for dinner. Emma had mentioned making sure Leopold was secured in his cell first before joining them. Regina felt sick to her stomach with nerves. She couldn't eat and was barely responsive to David, Mary Margaret and Henry's discussion. Even after Emma had joined them, she didn't have it in her to socialize. She was too racked with fear of what would happen next. Emma noticed something was wrong the moment she sat down across from her. Henry was on her other side, picking at his food and seemingly as nervous as she was.

"You're quiet," she observed, her green eyes full of concern as a waitress placed her burger down in front of her. They were all nearly done with dinner by now, and a part of Regina hoped Emma would eat quickly so that they could get out of here.

"I'm just anticipating tomorrow's results," she admitted.

"Do you want to come over tonight?" she asked. "We can have that talk you wanted."

Regina nodded. A night to talk and vent with Emma with a bottle of wine was exactly what she needed after today's trial. They needed to reconnect after all the hurt she had put them through.

Emma finished up quickly and after stopping at the loft for an overnight bag, Emma drove her back to the new house she was renting. She was closer to the pier, just a few blocks aways. She could smell the saltiness of the ocean air as she stepped outside of the yellow bug. She looked up at the little blue house, smaller than the mansion but bigger than the loft. A lot more suitable for a family than just a single person.

"Well, what do you think?" Emma asked as she exited the bug and came around to meet her.

"It's perfect," she admitted with a small smile. She allowed Emma to take her hand and lead her up to the porch where she unlocked the wooden door and invited her inside. She switched on the light and walked down the hall that led to the living room and kitchen. It was furnished but Emma's few boxes that she had brought remained unpacked by the staircase.

"How about some wine first, and then I give you the grand tour?" Emma asked, leading her to the kitchen. She poured them each a mug of red wine. She didn't have glasses and managed to rummage through a box for two mugs she had taken from the loft. Emma hadn't unpacked a single box since she moved in.

Regina took the offered mug and looked around the kitchen. It was nicely furnished, going with a modern country theme. There was a table in the center and suddenly she could see herself and Henry having breakfast with Emma like a family. She could hear Henry laughing and Emma happily munching on her pancakes. The life she was too afraid to have.

"Regina…" Emma's voice pulled her out of her vision. "Are you ok?"

She nodded, giving her an assuring smile.

"How about that tour?" she asked.

Emma showed her the backyard first since the backdoor was in the kitchen, although it was dark, she could tell there was a lot of open land with a toolshed in the distance. She then showed her the living room and dining room. There was an empty downstairs room that Emma didn't seem so sure what to do with it. Upstairs were three bedrooms, Emma seemed to occupy the master bedroom while the other two rooms layed empty. She had a beautiful house with too many empty rooms and for some reason that made Regina's heart sink.

When the tour was over, Emma invited her back to the living room where she started a fire in the hearth. Regina sat on the couch and placed her mug on the coffee table. She thought about buying her some wine glasses and decanters as a housewarming gift. This place was cold. She felt a deep kind of self loathing for being the reason why Emma had moved into an empty cold house with unpacked boxes stacked by the staircase.

Emma sat beside her, bottle in hand as she refilled their mugs and set the bottle down.

"I know it's not much, but it's better than being crammed in the loft," Emma shrugged. "Plus David is over there a lot these days."

"It's missing something," Regina observed, but didn't elaborate further.

They spent time talking about the trial, about Henry, even about the house, until Regina finally steered the conversation back to the reason why she was here tonight. The talk they needed to have.

"I don't expect us to go back to the way things were," she admitted, unable to look at Emma and instead let her gaze settle on the flames of the hearth. "I know I hurt you. You say being friends is enough for you, but I feel like I may have lost your trust."

"Gina, please look at me," Emma said softly, placing her mug of wine on the table. Regina took a moment but then lifted her gaze to see watery green eyes. "I said being friends is enough and I meant it. If you want to take it further, then we will. I'm not going to pressure you into anything. I know you're scared and I would never hold that against you. I still trust you with my heart, and I hope someday you could trust me with yours, whether we are friends or… or girlfriends."

That last word came out as a whisper, leaving a heavy realization in its wake. Regina knew what she wanted, and maybe it was time to stop being afraid. Maybe it was time to finally give in and take what she wanted without her past looming over her. Leopold no longer controlled her.

She wanted to kiss her. She wanted to hold her. To give in to the warm affection she had for Emma Swan who had become more than just a friend. She wanted to love her.

And so without a second thought, the dam broke and she leaned forward, capturing Emma's lips in hers, kissing her with a passion she's never had in her life before. This was bigger than any love she's ever had. She felt like she was finally at home. Emma froze for a moment but then responded, pulling her close and running her hands through her hair. Emma wanted this as much as she did, and she was no longer going to fight against it. When they pulled away, she laid her forehead against Emma's, breathing softly as she looked into warm green eyes, as warm as the flames that were crackling in the hearth. The house no longer seemed cold.

"I want this," Regina whispered. "I'm tired of being afraid."

Something within Emma broke at those words, because tears were suddenly streaming down her cheeks, and for a moment Regina was worried she did something wrong. Maybe Emma thought she was just kissing her again to hide her true feelings like she did up on the roof. She suddenly became terrified of messing everything up again.

"Hey," Emma chuckled, wiping her tears and then reaching out to caress her cheek. Regina leaned into her warm hand. "You're ok," she said and Regina realized she must have seen the momentary panic on her face. "Are you sure about this?" she asked.

"I'm more than sure," Regina answered with a kiss to the palm still resting on her cheek.

"We can go as slow as you need to," Emma assured her, her voice still cracking with emotion and her eyes still a bit misty.

They kissed again, this time Emma initiating it for the first time. Kissing Emma was like feeling the warm sun on her face. It was like rays of sunshine. With Emma, there was no coldness, no fear, no darkness…. Just a warm light that healed her heart up like a soothing balm. She wasn't afraid.

They spent the night talking in between sips of wine until they could no longer keep their eyes open. Emma had offered her bed, but Regina refused to let her take the couch and insisted on sharing the bed together. They cuddled like they used to back in the loft. Intimacy was something they have yet to talk about, but not now when all Regina wanted was to just lie in the safety of Emma's arms. There was a time where being held in bed like this felt like she was trapped. When a heavy hot body would hold her against him, his hot breath against her neck. She had felt like a possession then. Now, the tenderness in which Emma held her, kissed her… made her feel safe and loved.

Despite the warmth of Emma holding her, she fell into a nightmare plagued sleep. The stress from the trial must have triggered them. She had fallen deep into the darkness, staring up at a landing where cruel cold eyes stared down at her. She brought a hand up to see blood, her belly painful but still. There was no sign of movement from the tiny life within her. She could remember crying out in anguish until she was suddenly being shaken awake and a warm voice calling her back.

She woke up to Emma sitting up beside her, her face full of concern. Her green eyes were misty with fearful tears. She had turned the bedside lamp on, shrouding the room in a dim warm light that chased away the dark shadows of her nightmares.

"Shh, you're ok. You're safe," Emma whispered. "You were having a nightmare."

She took deep slow breaths, trying to control her breathing as she looked around the room and then at Emma. She cuddled into her chest as Emma lied beside her and held her against her. She felt her hand on her belly and she was instantly reminded of her baby. Emma now knew after today's trial. Although, she had a feeling Emma had already known before since she had been going over her medical files in preparation for the hearing.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Emma asked.

Regina didn't answer. They laid together in silence, Emma's warm body against her like a comforting furnace in the middle of winter. She was silent for a long time and at one point she even thought Emma might have fallen asleep until she started rubbing soothing circles on her belly.

"You were pregnant," Emma whispered.

"I was."

"And you were far along… 5 months." She could hear the devastation in her tone. Grief surged through her as she turned in her arms and looked into her eyes.

"He took her from me like he took everything else," she admitted. "He pushed me down the stairs." That was all she was willing to share. She still couldn't talk about that night even years later. The grief was still so fresh. It had been harder when Henry was a baby because she was constantly reminded of what she had lost. Emma had the sense that she wasn't willing to share anymore and instead kissed her softly on the lips as a way to comfort her.

Regina slid on top of her so that Emma was lying back against the pillows. She kissed her until they were both breathless. She pulled back to look at Emma, her golden hair messy and splayed out beneath her on the pillow. Her green eyes were dark with passion.

A sudden erratic thought came to mind; A quick decision that she should have taken a moment to think about, but the desperate need to forget about her baby, about her past and all its nightmares was at the forefront of her mind. Suddenly needing to be distracted was the most important thing. She kissed Emma with fire. She whimpered a bit in surprise but responded just as passionately. It wasn't until Regina suddenly placed a knee between her legs and started kissing her neck did Emma quickly pull away from her as if reality suddenly washed over her like a bucket of ice cold water.

"What are you doing?" she asked, sitting up and forcing Regina to slide off of her. She suddenly became ashamed of what she was about to do. They just decided to be in a relationship. She was moving too fast.

"I just…" she brought a hand through her hair, suddenly feeling lost. She hasn't been in a serious relationship since Daniel, and even then, they were just kids discovering love for the first time. Emma regarded her with a look of concern that had Regina suddenly feeling exposed.

"I don't expect you to be rushing into sex," Emma said straight out, catching on to her anxiety.

"I know," she sighed. "But I want to, if it makes sense? I want to forget everything that's happened and I want to be able to make love to you without being afraid."

"Are you sure this is something you want to do?" Emma asked after a beat of contemplated silence.

Regina nodded, her skin suddenly tingling in repulsion at the thought of being touched so soon after being brutalized by her husband, but she wanted this distraction more than anything. She wanted to push past this barrier and own her body again. She wanted Emma to replace all of the bad memories. Emma laid back and guided her on top of her once more. She softly kissed her lips before pulling away and meeting her gaze.

"We're doing this slow, ok?" she said. "And I want you to tell me when to stop if it becomes too much." Regina nodded, suddenly feeling nervous. "What are your limits?"

She took a moment to think about that. She's never had a say before when it came to sex. Leopold just took what he wanted regardless of her limitations.

"Nothing inside," she said, her voice trembling suddenly in anticipation of what was about to happen. "And I can't be on my back or on my stomach, at least not now." She was embarrassed as she said this and Emma must have caught on because she was gently raising her chin to look at her.

"Don't be embarrassed after what that bastard had forced you to do. Don't be ashamed of having limits. Tell me to stop at any point, and we're done."

Regina nodded and then wasted no time in capturing Emma's lips. She didn't want to talk anymore. Emma responded, the hand hooked under her chin moved to comb through her dark hair and moved down, caressing her as they slid down her shoulders, arms and her hips where they rested. Emma trailed her kisses to her neck and Regina ran her fingers through long golden curls, holding her as she kissed her in all the right places. She felt a stir within her belly. A feeling she has never felt since Daniel. She was getting excited when she usually felt fear.

Emma captured her lips again, the hand on her hip rubbing soft circles over her skin until she started venturing, touching her belly and then her behind. Emma squeezed her which had her gasping in surprise.

"Are you ok, baby?" Emma asked, between kisses, her hand continuing to touch and caress her body, while the other hand came up and held her cheek as if her purpose was to ground her. To remind her it was she who was touching and kissing her and not Leopold.

"Yes," Regina whispered, the endearment going straight to her center as Emma gently encouraged her to sit up. She straddled her, looking down at aroused darkened green orbs and reddened lips. She looked beautiful staring up at her with a desire that made her feel so… loved. Emma slid her hands up and down her sides.

"Can I take your shirt off?"

This was it. This was the moment where she would take the next step in intimacy, and suddenly it didn't seem so scary anymore, not when Emma was looking at her so affectionately. She nodded, looking into her eyes as Emma slid her shirt off exposing her breasts. This time they weren't in a hospital room. They weren't taking pictures for evidence. This was her choice, for Emma to see her and love her like she's never felt.

"You're so beautiful."

She didn't feel beautiful, but she wasn't about to admit that out loud after the last time Emma questioned her. She moaned as Emma took her time touching her, squeezing her breasts until she was encouraging her forward enough so that she could take a nipple in her mouth. Something dark flashed in the recesses of her mind, but she pushed it back and instead focused on the pleasure of Emma sucking and caressing her breasts. She wouldn't let herself fall into a void of dark memories.

A strong urge suddenly overwhelmed her. The urge to move, to gain friction, and she found herself grinding herself on Emma's stomach which made the woman beneath her chuckle and Regina felt her cheeks heat in embarrassment. She couldn't even look at her.

"Gina?" Emma was suddenly caressing her cheek, encouraging her to make eye contact. "What are you feeling right now?"

"I… I don't know."

"Yes you do," she encouraged her, looking into her eyes with a small smile.

"I need something," she softly admitted. "I haven't felt like this since I was a teenager in love with…" She stopped, unable to bring up Daniel's name or the feelings of passion that they never got to act out on. The turning in her belly wasn't of apprehension or fear, but of desire and need. She wanted Emma to touch her. She wanted to touch Emma and she slowly pushed Emma's tank top up until she was exposing perky nipples. Emma leaned up a bit, removing the shirt and allowing Regina to touch her, to kiss and suck on her like she had done to her own breasts. This was new for her, making love to a woman.

"Don't be afraid of what you want," Emma gasped as Regina sucked and kissed at her breasts, each swirl of her tongue becoming more and more confident with desire. Desire suddenly became all that mattered. She had been afraid to even discuss intimacy with Emma before, and now here she was, giving in and allowing herself to love unafraid.

It suddenly hit her as she sat up to capture her lips, nipping her bottom lip before slipping her tongue inside, that her feelings had evolved into something so much deeper than their friendship, since the day decided to call a truce. She fell in love with Emma Swan.

She ended their kiss and looked into her deep green eyes, so full of love that hasn't been directed at her in such a long time. Emma frowned in concern.

"Are you ok?" she asked, reaching up to brush some hair out of her face.

"I… I have never done this with a woman before," she said, not exactly ready to admit her true feelings just yet. "In fact I have never done this… willingly." Something in Emma's gaze had her averting her gaze. It was a look of discernment as Emma realized what her confession meant. She has never made love before. Every sexual experience with her husband had been a form of rape.

"Regina," Emma said softly, her hand suddenly tracing the hem of her pajama pants. "Can I show you?"

She brought her gaze back to the women lying beneath her and nodded vigorously. She's never wanted it more than she did now. Emma took her time and with each brush among the hem of her pants right below her belly, she became more aroused. Emma was easing her into this at such a slow pace and Regina loved her for being so aware and attentive. She leaned down to kiss her once more, Emma's hand moving lower and lower until she had her hand inside her pants and was massaging her hips and buttocks. Her warm hand on her skin made her groan out as waves of pleasure rushed through her. Emma pulled away after a long moment of just touching her.

"Can I take off your pants?" she asked, her voice just as breathless and full of the same desire Regina felt. She helped Emma slide them off and tossed them to the side somewhere on the floor. Now she was straddling Emma in just her panties. She started caressing her legs, her thighs, her hips and behind as she took in the sight before her with glowing loving green eyes.

"God, you're gorgeous," she said which earned her a smirk. Emma's caresses became bolder, teasing the hems of her panties as they spent some more time just kissing. Regina couldn't get enough of her lips or of the feeling of love and care that radiated from Emma's gentle touches. She's never felt so cherished before. So intimate.

"Are you ready?" Emma whispered against her lips when they had pulled away to take a breath. She suddenly became hyper-aware of the warm fingers playing with the hem of panties. The dark memories that she had pushed away earlier were suddenly flooding her mind, but she desperately tried to hold on to the present. She wanted this, and this… Being intimate with her girlfriend was something that wasn't Leopold's to take.

"I'm ready," she nodded, pushing through her fears. Emma cupped her through her panties and that was enough for the fear to push through unstable doors. She suddenly fell into the darkness, her fears suddenly too overwhelming and she flashed back to a time where being touched down there meant pain. She flinched, jumping at the touch and Emma was quick to sit up and pull her into her arms. She couldn't breathe. Her lungs felt constricted with each breath and she suddenly felt like ice was running through her veins. Emma was talking to her but for a moment, her words were just a blur. It was the warmth of the blankets that Emma wrapped her in combined with the warmth of her body that snapped her out of her sudden panic attack.

"Ssh, you're ok. Just breathe," Emma said softly, still holding her. "You're having a panic attack. You're safe. Follow my breaths."

"I'm sorry," she couldn't help but cry into her shoulder and realized perhaps it was too soon for this. She followed the soothing beat of her chest until she no longer felt like she was suffocating

"Don't be," Emma said, pulling away to meet her eyes. She wiped her tears and kissed her lightly on the lips for comfort. "We just reached your limit, that's all. Do you want to just cuddle until we fall asleep?"

"That sounds perfect," she shakily admitted and lied down, cuddling up to Emma even if they were both half naked underneath the covers. She liked feeling Emma's skin against hers. Her warmth made her feel safe.

"Emma?" she said after a long while of just cuddling in silence.

"Yeah, love?" Emma murmured, sounding more than half asleep. The endearment falling from her lips shocked her a bit, and instead of being afraid of what it meant, it made her heart soar.

"I…" She still couldn't confess her true feelings and she felt like such a coward for it. She turned so that she was facing her and couldn't help but chuckle at the sleeping blonde. "Good night," she whispered instead, pressing a sweet kiss to her lips.