It wasn't the first time.

There had been many others before then.

Sleepless nights and sore vocal cords from the constant sobbing.

She should have been used to this.

She should be stronger now.

But she was weak.

Pathetic.

Broken.

She felt like an extinguished flame that once burned so brightly. Her skin, once warm to the touch, was now cold, riddled with goosebumps.

Gods, it shouldn't have been this way.

Maybe if she just left, turned around and never came back.

Things would be easier.

They would object though.

They wouldn't understand.

She just wanted it to be over.

She wanted to sleep.

Sleep.

Forever.

It sounded so peaceful.

Tranquil.

She had the dagger.

She just needed to-

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Kaiah jumped from her bed, pulling the dagger away from her wrist.

"Kaiah?"

It was Vilkas.

"Are you awake? We need to leave soon."

Kaiah stuttered as she put the dagger back in her nightstand, "Y-Yes! I'll be another minute!"

"Take your time," he assured her.

Kaiah rolled her sleeve down and strapped on her leather bracers. She tied her dreadlocks back into a low ponytail before quickly packing her knapsack with essentials. She and Vilkas were going on a job together, their first one ever since she joined. She felt incredibly nervous. Not because of Vilkas, but because this was the first time she had left the hall in weeks.

She had been spending many of her days in the women's quarters reading, anything to get her mind off of what had happened. Everyone had been trying to get her out to train or go on missions, but she wouldn't budge. Gods, it even took both Aela and Njada to haul her out of bed for a bath. Ria had tried cheering her up with stories that she had missed out on from the evening meals, but nothing could get her to smile.

Kaiah grabbed her scimitars and knapsack and opened the doors, seeing Vilkas sitting on a chair near the exit of the living quarters. "Are you ready?" Kaiah nodded her head silently, which was enough for the Nord to stand up from his chair and grab his own knapsack.

The two warriors left Jorrvaskr after saying goodbye to the others. Their job was in Solitude, which would be about a three day trip on foot. Kaiah was not looking forward to such a long walk, but Vilkas insisted that she accompany him for the job. She knew he only wanted her to come to get her out of her bed and into nature. Though maybe that's what she needed, even if she didn't want to admit it.

Vilkas walked in front during the first part of their journey. They didn't speak much, mostly because Kaiah didn't have much to say. She hadn't been to training in two weeks, so he hadn't seen much of her around the hall. He brought her food from their meals from time to time, but each time he did she didn't acknowledge him. She wasn't really speaking to anyone.

It made his heart ache.

She was so fiery and passionate, ready to take on the world every single day. Her snarky attitude, while annoying at times, was one of his favorite qualities about her. Seeing her so quiet and lifeless made his heart ache, like she was a shell of her former self.

As they were walking along the road past Fort Greymoore, Vilkas spotted a patch of Dragon's Tongue. They mostly grew exclusively in Eastmarch, but occasionally they could be found in the Rift or Whiterun Hold in scarce patches. The Nord stopped in his tracks and bent down to pluck one of the vibrant flowers. Kaiah was confused at first, but was then surprised when she saw him approaching her with the flower in his hand.

"You know, everytime I look at Dragon's Tongue, the red and yellow color remind me of fire," Vilkas took the flower in his hand and gently tucked it in behind Kaiah's ear, "The same fire that burns so brightly in your eyes."

Kaiah stared at the Nord warrior with large eyes, surprised with his gesture and words. Vilkas frowned, "I would give anything to see that fire burn again."

The Redguard stared at Vilkas with widened eyes, a warm and fluttery feeling forming in her chest. The Nord turned around and started walking down the stone path west again, leaving Kaiah alone with her now perplexing mix of emotions. She gently touched the Dragon's Tongue behind her ear and blushed, thinking about the dark-haired warrior. It was true that Kaiah thought him attractive; a tall, handsome, strong and brooding warrior would certainly make any woman fall at his feet. However, that is only the surface of who he is.

He had been so harsh to her the first time they met. Clashing heads and bickering with nearly every interaction. It was a bold move, dropping his sword on the ground, and she paid the price of a satisfying victory after having run laps around Jorrvaskr. He kept her on her toes, that much was known, and she made sure that the treatment was mutual. Though over time their respect for one another grew, and they argued less frequently. Kaiah never thought such a simple gesture could change the way she felt so quickly.

'Don't be ridiculous!It's just a stupid flower.' She thought to herself, shaking her head as she started following behind Vilkas again. 'It doesn't change anything…'

Right?

Vilkas and Kaiah set up camp off the side of the road near the border of the Reach. It was getting dark already and they weren't close enough to Rorikstead, so they opted to set up camp instead. The two pulled out their sleeping bags and set up a campfire, which took a little longer than expected given the scarcity of branches nearby. The silence between them was awkward, though Kaiah blamed herself for it. She hadn't spoken to him once since they started traveling.

"I'm sorry."

Vilkas cocked his head and looked at the Redguard with a confused expression. Kaiah rubbed the back of her neck nervously, "For being so distant."

"Don't apologize," Vilkas assured her, rummaging through his knapsack, "You have nothing to be sorry for."

The two sat in silence again while Vilkas started cooking some preserved rabbit that he had packed before he left. Kaiah watched him silently while he turned the rabbit over the open fire, contemplating whether or not she should try and make conversation. She never had a problem socializing before and she had no idea why she was struggling so much now.

"I'm scared."

Vilkas looked up from his cooking and at Kaiah curiously. She sat a few feet from the fire, her chin resting on her knees which she had to her chest. "I…" she started speaking but couldn't find the words. "I… Something happened a few weeks ago and… I'm scared."

Vilkas got up from his position and sat closer to Kaiah, still conscious of forming a comfortable space between them. "What happened?" Of course he already knew what had happened, but Kaiah didn't know that. He wanted to keep quiet about it until Kaiah told him on her own, which appeared to be now.

"When we all went to the Bannered Mare to celebrate Ria and Farkas, I stepped outside to get some fresh air. I thought I was alone but…" Kaiah paused to look at Vilkas, who was staring intently at her, "I wasn't. I ran into someone from my past. He… He threatened me and…" she felt the tears starting to form in her eyes and she wiped them away quickly before they could fall down her cheeks. "I-I tried to get away but I had too much to drink-"

The tears that she had fought so hard to pull back started falling down her face. Vilkas placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I really tried, Vilkas!" she sobbed into her own hand, "I tried to get away!" The Nord pulled her into a gentle embrace, placing his hands behind her back and head. He rocked her slowly, hushing her as she sobbed against his armored chest.

"You're safe now," he mumbled quietly, "No one is going to hurt you anymore."

Hearing her tell the story herself made him feel more angry than he was before. He had his suspicions, but he kept hoping that maybe it was something else. He never wanted the truth to be so vile, so… despicable. He always knew that men were capable of horrific acts, but he never thought it would happen to someone he cared for so deeply.

And while Kaiah sobbed in his arms, all he could think about was how he was going to kill the man who did this to her.

Ria was helping Tilma clean the long table after their midday meal. With Vilkas gone, there was no organized training so the whelps were left to do what they pleased. Ria was about three months along at this point, and the morning sickness made training nearly unbearable. She spent most of her days helping Tilma with daily chores around Jorrvaskr. The Imperial wished her friend was here so they could gossip and tell each other stories, but she hasn't been herself lately. Ria didn't know why Kaiah was being so distant, and every time she asked she got little to no response from her. She wondered if she was growing distant from her friend because of the pregnancy.

She was feeling hopeful, however, since Vilkas took her with him for a job in Solitude. Maybe after an adventure she'd be back to her old self again.

Ria's attention shifted when she heard the front doors of Jorrvaskr open. Three men emerged from the outside, dressed in garbs she hadn't seen before. They appeared to be Redguard, and bore scimitars almost identical to the ones that Kaiah wielded herself.

"Can I help you?" Ria asked curiously, putting down a set of dirty plates. One of the three men smiled at her, taking a few steps forwards but not descending the stairs. "Yes, m'lady, I think you can. I'm looking for a Redguard woman by the name of Kaiah."

Ria crossed her arms and looked at the three men in front of her. She wasn't sure but something in her gut was telling her not to trust them. "Who's asking?"

The Redguard man chuckled, "An old friend."

Ria glared at the seemingly arrogant man. She had no idea who this man was, and Kaiah had always been relatively secretive of her past. "I'm not telling you anything."

The man smirked as he looked down at the Imperial, "When she comes back," he pulled a note out of his pocket and handed it to her, "Tell her Kematu is looking for her."

Ria hesitantly grabbed the note, not breaking eye contact with the mysterious man. He turned around and gestured to the other men that it was time to go. As they were about to leave, the man turned around once more and grinned at the Imperial.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Ria."

The doors closed behind them and Ria stood there, shocked. 'How did he know my name?' She looked down the note in her hand, folded in half and sealed with a custom wax seal. It took every ounce of her being not to open it. It was Kaiah's personal note. The three men that were looking for her, they looked shady. What if they wanted to hurt her? Should Kaiah even come back to Whiterun? How would she be able to warn her? Is she even safe out there?

Of course she is, Ria thought, she's with Vilkas, she's not alone.

Ria rushed downstairs to the living quarters and opened her night stand. She put the note inside and closed the drawer, keeping it safe until Kaiah returned. The Redguard was hiding something from her. What was it? She didn't know. But whatever Kaiah is running from, she was going to make damn sure that they didn't find her. It didn't matter if Kaiah was keeping secrets, she was going to protect her friend at all costs.

No matter what.