Curative
By Kaimaler
So there are two versions of this chapter, one where we skipped a few days until right before the episode where Rick and Shane left to deal with Randall, and this one. Which I think makes more sense considering what is to come. ;3
I'm just saying that because I want to know what people think about it, I wonder who can guess what happens or what this leads up to! :D
Review Replies:
Lorem Tenebrae:
Yeah, the Voice it getting really buggy. Hope it doesn't get worse! :x
Also, yeah, I was hoping people found enjoyment out of knowing that I'm not going to gloss over details. Glenn and Laura's friendship, and partnership, will be important to reason in the future of the story, so I need to establish this understanding with the readers. :3
Just like I need people to really get to know her and her discussions with any member of the group, to show how close she is getting to the group.
Erefants :O
Kschu02:
Oh yeah, he's an emotionless jackass. One we will unfortunately be seeing more of in the future. ;3
Also, I'm happy you like it! I keep trying to write out the story more and more, adding details, snippits, just anything I can to make sure people know the kind of person Laura really is and how she interacts with the group. She cares about them all and, even though she struggles with things that had happened to her, like anyone would, she's moving passed all that trauma because she cared about them so much. She fought alone with them before and it was crippling to her, but with this group, with these people, she really is showing that she is capable of getting on with her life regardless of her past. :D
I hope you continue to enjoy the story, even as new events unfold and characters go on.
When Laura got back with Glenn, both of them laughing and enjoying each others company, Maggie and Glenn took the horses away to the stables. Laura knew nothing about saddles, reins, and the process for getting the horses back in the stables, so she was off the hook when it came to taking care of her horse. For now, Maggie threatened her with teaching her.
Laura agreed happily, still finding such joy from riding the horse and simply being around it. She would do it later, but Laura caught sight of a very stressed out looking Rick. She didn't feel like she could just leave him with that stress and find Daryl just yet.
Which is where she was heading to now. He on outside camp leaning over a fence that was next to the dirt road up to the farmhouse. When Maggie and Glenn were far enough away, she came up beside Rick and leaned on the fence beside him, acting as if she was just there to enjoy the scenery. It was beautiful, considering the rest of the world, but she had a purpose.
Neither of them spoke, like there was something stopping them. They didn't dare say a word, just stayed beside each other, Laura offered a silent comfort, waiting until he told her what was bothering him.
Rick wasn't blind, he saw her return with Glenn, he could see her from the corner of his eye as she came up to him, heard her steps on the ground near him. When she leaned on the fence, she sighed and stared out over the fields, but not behind making sure she was close enough so they were shoulder to shoulder so he would know, without a doubt, why she was there.
He had a few moments with Laura when she'd just appear and actually talk about her past with him, openly too, but it was difficult for her at times; he knew that. Within a few days, he came to trust Laura as a part of the group and an active, capable body. He also saw her as a friend, with so many things behind them, going through so much, the trips to Atlanta, the CDC, Sophia, and Sophia's return as a walker. She was always near, she made a point to talk to him whenever she thought he needed it.
At times, he had needed it, but right now... He wasn't sure if he needed it or if he felt like he owed her something for her honesty in regards to her past troubles. She knew so little about him, only his name, his family, and how he made it back to them.
So much had happened recently though, things Laura didn't know and he rather liked her being in the dark. Not because he preferred to keep her unaware, but because it was so much easier talking to someone who wasn't thinking of his burdens. He supposed, with her here now, being alone with her wouldn't last long, especially with her attachment to Daryl and his to her. It was a now or never opportunity that he wasn't excited about.
But she wanted to know, she wanted to be there for him as his friend and some kind of support. To help him. It would've brought a smile to his face and yet he couldn't, so many things plaguing his mind. Big things too, there was plenty of food and water, for now, with shelter that served them well. They were protected day and night, always watching each others backs.
Everyone was trustworthy, they all did their best and since things began to calm down around camp, the group worked harder, faster, and more efficiently. Not because they felt they had to, but because they were well rested, sleeping easier, and having fun. They were able to enjoy things they hadn't dreamed of in months, it was rare and luxurious in this harsh reality; everyone wanted to pitch in more to keep it that way.
Laura was there for him though. He supposed it was because of how he treated her when they first met, he took care of her and looked after her, even kept her secret. A past as a walker? It was a huge secret, but he accepted it, after fighting his own initial opinions about it, and let her in the group. She told him about the group she was with before, the one she liked, the people who were good to each other and to her. They saw her, just her face, and it was enough for them to turn on her.
He could see so much more from her face while she told her story, she really cared about them and obviously still did, from everything she said. They could've killed her, he would be a little hesitant about any group if that was him, but she still came to them, gave them whatever she could. Rick couldn't help but see her as a lost child sometimes, he knew she was stronger then that, but it was how she seemed at times.
When recounting events in her life, how she sounded, how she acted, it all reminded him of a little girl. Not in a demeaning way, he wasn't putting her down, insulting her by comparing her to a child. He very, very much loved seeing someone fight so hard and get what they wanted in the end.
Rick knew he was possibly the luckiest person in the world right now, waking up after months long coma, managing to survive what everyone explained as the outbreak, being in said coma while the hospital was overrun with walkers and military were shooting anyone they saw. He survived it, only to then find Morgan and his son Duane, who took him in. Traveled into Atlanta, was nearly eaten alive, hid in the tank and took the grenade that saved everyone at the CDC later on. Glenn saved him, brought him to his group.
The group that, miraculously, had Lori, Carl, and Shane safely within their numbers. There wasn't a happier man on Earth when he saw his son and his wife in that camp the day he arrived, holding Carl in his arms after surviving hell in Atlanta, getting his wedding ring back from Lori, who had taken it when he went into the coma, fearing he would never wake up.
There were no words, his family was alive and safe. Shane was there too, protecting them. At first, he figured there wasn't a finer man for the job, seeing as he was out of commission, believed dead.
That is, until he began to see signs about Lori and Shane, he knew it too, even before Lori told him. He didn't want to say it out loud, it would be like admitting it to himself as fact, but he needed to hear Lori or Shane say it in order to truly believe it. So he didn't speak up, he didn't mention it, ignored the signs. Lori was pushing Shane away, he could tell. He still refused to say it.
Then Lori told him, just the other day when he and Laura returned to camp after they had gone out into the woods to look for Sophia. Well, telling him was apparently too much for Lori, so she hid it and it took him confronting about what he found in their tent for the truth to come out. Morning After pills, he couldn't contain himself, he felt such hate and betrayal.
He loved Lori, he felt nothing but love for her and Carl, but it was like the odds were stacked against him. Lori was hiding things from him, keeping big secrets that she should've told him from the start. He was angry with her, so very angry, but was more overwhelmed by the consequences and appreciative that Lori actually told him instead of keeping it from him any longer.
It wasn't closure, far from it, but it was a step in the right direction and he wasn't going to throw it away.
So Rick slowly looked over his shoulder to see Laura on the fence, leaning on her forearms over the fence, hands hanging off the edge. She wasn't looking at him, she didn't even glance at him. She was letting him take his time, approaching the topic at his own pace. He was thankful she wasn't loud and nosy, if he wanted to tell her, he would, if he didn't, she would wish him luck and offer to listen and help whenever he asked.
She made it perfectly clear that she wanted to support him, give him what he needed to keep going. It was difficult to have so many people depending on him, but he accepted the responsibility and did what he could, then struggled to do even more. Above and beyond the call of duty, so to speak.
"Lori's pregnant." He finally said it, he just said it. No emotion in his voice, no more hesitance, anger, or compassion. Just dead straight. "She had Glenn make a run to the pharmacy for her a few days ago. For morning after pills and tried to take them, get rid of the baby... but she threw them up."
Laura faced him now, no discernible expression on her face. She didn't speak, just listened and that was all he needed. Not someone to congratulate him on the baby or start asking questions about how he intended to raise the baby in this world. Someone had to listen to him, he needed to rant and rave about it without repercussion. Laura was giving him that chance.
"Me and you... we came back from our search, that day in the woods. I went into the tent and saw the box... a few pills were missing." He nodded to himself, heaving a sigh. "I went to find Lori, she was actually right here, at this fence. I asked her why she didn't tell me, why she kept something like this from me... Did she think I wouldn't want it? I mean... I know it will be hard, I'm not saying it won't, but I want this baby." He spoke honestly. Lori and Rick never spoke much about it now, the baby was there and that was that, but he always wanted another child. He loved Carl with all his might, if asked he'd tell them he loved Carl more then any father has ever loved their child.
"She told me that she didn't want me to know, not because she was scared of anything, but that she knew what I had to deal with regarding leading this group, protecting them. She said that if the decision was to get rid of the baby then... then it would be on her shoulders, her conscience. That she couldn't make me decide whether or not abort the baby." Rick didn't think anything of it at that moment, about aborting the baby, he wanted it and that was that. He loved children, the happiest years of his life was the moment they found out Lori was pregnant with Carl and ever since then, he couldn't imagine life without his little boy. "I don't care about that, I would rather know, carry that weight, then let her go through that alone. I can't... I would never let her do that."
Laura reached out, placing her hand on his forearm. He was still leaning on the fence, but he kicked the ground beneath him from time to time. He was still dealing with his feelings on the issue and Laura was standing by to be whatever he needed her to be. "I felt angry, like she'd stabbed me in the back... And if that wasn't enough, I dropped everything about the baby and asked her if there was anything she needed to say, other secrets that she has kept from me, for whatever reason. I needed to know everything."
Her hand grasped and rubbed his arm, encouraging him. "She told me... about them. I... I'm not blind, I saw them together, I picked up on it real quick..." Somehow, and he felt tremendously selfish for it, but he had a harder time talking about Lori's relationship with Shane then he did about the baby. He was sure about the baby, was mad at Lori for not telling him, yet this thing between Lori and Shane was hard to describe.
"Shane and Lori were together, after all this started. She told me she thought I was dead, that Shane told her I was dead... I can get that, I was in a bad place and in bad shape, surviving that... a million to one. Ten million to one!..." He threw up the arm Laura wasn't touching, huffing angrily. "I understand what made her go to Shane. It's not like I haven't seen it before, I was a sheriff's deputy and have dealt with a lot of men and women who suffer loss, they lose their husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, doesn't matter what they were, just that they lost them. They seek some kind of comfort from others, even if they don't care about the person they're with or if they love them, all that matters to them is to be close to someone again... I think that's what happened to Lori... But I don't know what happened to make Shane do this. He should've known better." Rick growled, but the moment he felt his anger rise he took a deep breath through his teeth.
Laura got closer, her arm now across his back and a sad expression on her face. She wasn't pitying him or sympathizing, the way people did when loved ones die or they got bad news, in this case, Rick's best friend taking advantage of his wife who was, at that time, a grieving widow. She looked at him with pain and compassion, it was a quiet way of her telling him that she was here with him and he wanted her to stay, for a little longer... When he looked at her though, the corners of his mouth twitched down into a frown. Laura didn't act surprised at all, he just noticed that.
"You knew?" He asked, it came out a little harsher then he meant it. He wasn't angry at Laura, he could never see himself being angry at Laura especially while she was there comforting him. Rick was still very much so upset by Lori and Shane both, his previous anger with them was bubbling back to the surface and he was worried he would take it out on Laura.
For a moment, she didn't move. Then her mouth quirked into a thoughtful lopsided twist and she looked over the fence, thinking. She raised her hand flat, the palm facing down to the ground and tilted it from side to side, telling him that she had an idea about Lori and Shane, but never really knew beyond general appearances. She looked back to him, she didn't know anything more.
He nodded, "I knew it in my head, but I didn't want to think about it. If I did... I don't know," A groan, his hand ran through his hair, messing it. "I just didn't want to accept it. I wanted it to be false... If it wasn't... I almost didn't want to know, so I could go on thinking everything was okay, that nothing happened and that Shane would never..." His hand fell, his forearm thudded against the wooden fence. He felt her hand rubbing his back, felt sharp nails scratching him lightly even through his shirt.
Rick frowned again, her nails... Shane's head and neck, she had clawed him at the barn, her nails cut in him like a knife. He confessed that it actually frightened him a bit, not pertaining to their safety with her, but that she was capable of causing that much damage at such an awkward angle while being choked and having a gun pointed at her head.
Hershel had taken a look at the cuts the next day, after they had returned to the farm and Laura brought Sophia back to them that afternoon. The older man explained to them both that had she applied any more pressure, he would need stitches. The awkward angle she was at and possibly her strength faded when he was choking her caused her to not cut so deep to warrant stitches.
She could claw like a walker, scratch and cut deep. Shane was thinking that he was dead, that he'd turn and it was the end of it, even started delivering a dead man's speech to Rick, who refused it and told him he wasn't going to die. Laura can't infect people and while she proved that she can return someone from not being a walker for too long, she also proved that she couldn't turn a person she bit or scratched. This was always up for debate within the group beforehand, but there was no question anymore.
Shane was up and about, healed from his injury from the school where Otis died and most certainly not a walker. He never showed any signs of the fever or delusions that Jim had, he was perfectly healthy aside from a few cuts.
Which is something that caught Rick's attention right now. Back at the CDC, that morning after their celebrations, Shane had cuts on his neck, obviously from a human hand, but Rick was far too distracted by the horrible pain in his head from drinking to notice anything else. He ate his eggs anxiously and took the medicine Jenner gave them like his life depended on it.
Rick's brow creased, his face slowly twisting to a snarl.
Laura's clawed Shane, head and neck. Shane appears one morning with marks on his neck, by a human hand of course. The cuts, the angle, human nails made them. Rick felt a new level of hate rising in his chest, his breath quickened and his blood boiled. He was trying to calm himself, but it was fruitless. He didn't know whether to question Laura's judgement or if he and Shane had to talk about things concerning Laura. Did Shane and Laura... Or did he try and... Would he do that?
"Laura..." During the time Rick took to put this together, Laura was gazing out over the fields again, but at the sound of her name, she instantly broke out of her daydream to look at him straight, to let him know he had her undivided attention. "At the barn, when Shane..." He jerkily pointed to her neck, the bruise still very prominent against her pale skin. "You raked your nails over his head and neck." Rick held a hand up, turning his fingers inwards like it was clawing something. "You left quite some marks on him."
Laura licked her lips, shrugging. "I- I'm sorry about that... I just didn't see any other way to get away from him, to get that gun off me." She defended, she didn't think anyone would really hold it against her for attacking Shane while he tried to kill her outright, in front of them all. "I had to do somethin' an' all I could think of was gettin' him to let me go, so I... y'know, scratched him." She winced at her own words, she didn't like using them because they compared her more to a walker then a normal person. While, before all this, clawing someone in self defense as a woman was often quite useful, but in this world scratching someone was more relative to the undead.
Rick shook his head, "I didn't mean it like that, I just meant..." He trailed off, she knew he didn't think of her as a walker or any kind of derivative of one, so he didn't need to defend himself like that again. It would actually make him look worse if he did, so he left it alone to rephrase his question and explain his reason for asking.
"That morning at the CDC, when Shane joined us for breakfast..." Rick pointed to his own neck, the left side where the cuts were on Shane. "He had marks on him similar to the weaker ones you put on Shane in front of the barn. I wanted to ask... Did Shane and you...? Did he try anything with you? Anything at all?" His voice was insistent and on edge, but he waited patiently for her answer. He didn't have to wait long at all.
Laura jumped, a hand over her chest and shook her head quickly. "Oh no! No! I didn't give him those ones, I didn't see him once after the dinner we had the night before. We didn't do anythin' Rick, I'm not that kinda' woman." She smiled at him, chuckling. "I don't know where those came from... I assume him an' one of the group had a falling out or somethin'."
That calmed him down instantaneously, Rick would never think Shane capable of forcing himself on a woman like that, but in light of recent events... He wasn't so sure. Shane could be dealing with who knows what and Laura could've been caught in the middle of it, it would explain why Shane was so hateful towards her better. If Shane and Laura slept together only for them to find out she was a walker... Shane would probably get very, very, very mad.
It was a relief to know neither of them did and nothing had happened. He didn't want to deal with the aftermath of another unhappy couple. Lori and Shane were hard enough to deal with, but if Laura and Shane were together? Rick shuddered sickly at the thought, he wasn't sure what Shane would do if that was the case.
"Good, good... I just saw the marks and thought..." Laura patted his arm and stopped him there. "It's alright, thank you for thinking about me. I really do appreciate seeing you like that, wanting to protect me. It's very kind." Rick smiled at her, feeling a thousand times better then he did before they started talking.
He didn't know how long they were there, but they didn't stop talking for quite sometime. Rick thoroughly enjoyed her with him, she was family to him now, he didn't want her harmed in any fashion. The idea that Shane, a man he called his brother, would do something like that to Laura that would cause her to claw him? He couldn't handle the thought.
When Shane jumped her at the barn, that was completely different. He thinks of her as little more then a walker, at best some kind of intelligent walker. Had Shane ever harmed her in such a detestable way, Rick felt he couldn't be held accountable for the pain he'd cause his best friend. He hated people who picked on the weak, who took advantage of others because they couldn't fight back and if he had discovered Shane had done such a thing... He wasn't sure what he would do.
The best part is that he wouldn't have to do it himself if he didn't want to or have help with it. Daryl was more protective of her then Rick, he saw the way Daryl watched her and it made him happy knowing Laura had been able to beat her past in order to be with someone. He'd never been with victims of abuse and rape long enough to see them heal from the mental trauma, but he knew some struggled with it more then others.
Laura hadn't appeared to have that same level of trauma at least. It was a good thing, a damn good thing. Even in the world they're in, the past she had, she still managed to push it all aside and find someone who she cared about and requited her feelings. Granted, Rick would never have seen the relationship between Daryl and Laura coming, but he didn't mind it in the slightest.
Her ability to overcome and conquer made Rick realize that people could move passed even the worst things. The strength to do this was within every last member of the group and most have already done so many times over. They lost family members, loved ones, like Andrea lost Amy, Carol feared for her daughter going cold and hungry in the wood, Lori and Carl being alive even while the world around them was torn apart.
They all dealt with their personal demons, things that kept them up at night fearing the past, present, and future. Yet they were all still functional people, working together against all odds.
It gave him a reason to smile and through their perseverance made him a stronger leader.
"I don't know where to go from here. I love Lori, and Carl of course, but I don't have all the answers." The aggravation in his voice made him clearer to her. "I know why it happened, why they... sought out each other, but I feel like I can't just let it go. Not because I feel like she went behind my back, they thought I was dead. With plenty of reason to believe it!... I don't want to put it behind us."
He sighed defeatedly, leaning heavily on the fence and avoiding Laura's eyes. "... I don't want to let the past be the past." It was like sin, as if his feelings on this matter were incorrect, but Laura had no life experience with it. She had never been with a man, fall into a coma during an outbreak, return to the world she knew destroyed and search for her husband and son, only to find he found solace in the arms of her best friend.
She had no way to give him the comfort he needed now regarding his wife, son, and his oldest friend whom he trusted with his life and his families' life. However, she knew something that could at very best be like offering a hand to support him.
"I know what that's like," She started off easy, withdrawing her hand from his back and leaning on the fence with him. Neither of them looked at each other straight, but she could see Rick glancing her way. "Not wantin' to do the whole forgive an' forget. To just let bygones be bygones. There were - " Laura grinned darkly, " - There are still so many times now where I want nothin' more then to let it all go, let people know when I'm pissed off, make them understand how I feel. When people turn away from me, when they shun me 'cause I look different, cause me bodily harm 'cause they can..." Laura allowed herself to trail off, not finishing her sentence now that she focused long enough to see Rick's eyes resting on her in concern.
"It doesn't matter now, of course. I just... I can get violent like anyone else, maybe even more so... Things are messed up in my head, I'm tryin' to work 'em out, but things pile up an' eventually there ain't nothin' I can do about it anymore." She gave a nonchalant shrug, "I got issues to. Sometimes when I try an' get close to someone, I have a moment where I wonder what they would do to me if I touched 'em. I get over it, it's only a split second anyways, but I move on. I learn from it an' use my knowledge to stop it from ruinin' my life."
Rick turned around, his back against the fence now as he looked into camp, watching them all continue about their day. T-Dog was with Dale and Andrea, the three of them laughing, but keeping on guard. Glenn and Maggie could just barely be seen heading over the far hill to the stables. Lori, Carol, Carl, and Sophia were altogether, the mothers doing domestic work while the children played around her feet and through the camp.
He hadn't taken the time to stop and see these people for who they are, how they worked. It was smooth, like a well oiled machine. They did all they could with what was given to them and strived to do better with each passing day.
"Whose made you that mad?" Rick asked, in a better mood now, but interested to know who Laura actually had problems with. She scoffed playfully, "Well, if it ain't obvious already, Shane... Andrea can be really nice then say things that I feel like smackin' sense into her." She laughed, "I need to talk to Lori one of these days..."
"Lori? What did she do?" Rick thought Laura meant Lori had annoyed her, being one of the people who Laura didn't want to understand. He already had somethings to work out with Lori, he didn't want to know his wife got on Laura's bad side.
Laura caught this and shook her head, "Nothin' at all, I just never talked to her. Which is somethin' I wanna' remedy. When her an' I first met, day you and I met the group an' y'all all had that happy reunion. That's the only time I ever said a word to her. I'm meanin' I wanna' talk to her, get to know her. I'm friends with her husband, so I would like to know her an' Carl..." Laura got a little nervous, glancing to Rick warily. "If you'd let me, I know he's your son, wanna' protect him an' all that good stuff."
He looked at her confused and turned to face her completely, "What do you mean if?"
"Just..." She sucked in a deep breath, "I get that y'all are alright with me, but sometimes... I dunno', I can't predict how everyone will react to things. That's your son, you'd kill any bastard who posed any kinda' threat to him. I ain't exactly ideal."
Rick shifted to get closer to her, putting an arm around her shoulders and bringing her side to his. "Hey, you know better then that. I don't mind if you want to spend time with my family, actually, I would love it if you came around with me, Lori, and Carl. You're right, you are my friend, and if I thought you would do anything to hurt my family, or this group, you wouldn't be. I trust you, whether you're with all of us or alone with someone."
Laura slinked her arm around his back, him being a bit taller then her, looked up to see him smiling at her. "Even Carl?" It was a question regarding a man's son and what some would perceive as a danger, which is Laura.
"Even Carl." She beamed at him, Rick trusted her with his son. It was life most precious to anyone, a child, but not just any child, his own son and he trusted her enough to be around him, with or without others around.
It was a few simple words, but they were profound and established a new connection. His own son and he was telling her that he trusted him with her, it was more then just a bit of trust to be around his son, but also his safety. It was a big deal and Laura wasn't going to let it pass without acknowledging it. So she pulled him into a tight hug, he was surprised at first, but reacted immediately, returning the hug.
"Rick, that means the world to me. Thank you, an' I really mean it." She pulled back slightly, enough to look at him straight. "I gotta' tell you that I'd never do nothin' to hurt Carl an' would never let nothin' happen to him either, I'd fight to protect him an' all of y'all."
He nodded, "Let's just hope that it doesn't come to that." With a firm pat on the back, Laura released him and they were both felt better. Laura came to do whatever Rick needed to be done and ended up strengthening their bond. Trusting someone with their child, when he has known her for such a short amount of time, was amazing to her and she wanted to show him she'd prove she deserved it.
The two left that fence and headed back to camp, his arm across her shoulders and her's around his back. They remained close, preserving the last few moments of their talk.
Rick had many issues to resolve with his wife, but Laura made it clear that she was there for him and Lori now. She wanted to give them both what they needed to move on, Laura saw Rick's return to his wife and son as the impossible that, somehow, had happened. Now they had marital problems, like all couples, but in this world any bad event turns out to be worse then it would've been in the old world.
They could do it, Laura swore that if anyone had the ability to repair their marriage it was Rick and Lori. The husband who cheated death multiple times just to find out if his family was alive against all odds, while millions of people died or turned, most of the population on Earth, as per what Jenner said, was wiped out and through some giant stroke of luck, Lori and Carl were alive and Rick recovered from a coma two months after the outbreak destroyed American government.
They had become something akin to a beacon of hope for everyone. Neither of them meant to, but it that's what they regardless.
So when they entered camp, Laura made a point to go straight to Lori. She wanted to talk to her, immediately. Not because she wanted to pry, as Lori didn't know her well and would see her pregnancy or her past relationship with Shane as none of her business, but she still had to speak with the woman.
Rick had other things to attend to, but was within sight. He was talking to Shane and Hershel, which made Laura realize that it must've been important, otherwise, the three men who lead this group wouldn't be out here talking privately with each other.
It wasn't that private, but the point remained.
Laura made a beeline for the laundry lines not to far away. She could see Lori and Carol there, Carl and Sophia playing around the base of one of the trees while the two mothers hung wet clothing.
"Hello." Laura greeted from behind them, both were somewhat startled and jumped when she spoke.
Carol gave her a kind smile, "Oh, you're back. I saw Glenn and Maggie, but I didn't see you." She clipped a shirt onto the line before turning around and greeting Laura with a hug. She seriously doubted Carol would ever pass up an opportunity to hug her, her reason was Sophia sitting against the tree.
"I actually came over to just say hi really." Carol smiled brighter to her before returning to the laundry. Laura needed to find someway to strike up a conversation with Lori that didn't sound prodding or forced. So she looked around for a few awkward seconds and saw the pile of wet clothes in the basket. "Looks like there's a lot to do, need some help?"
"That would be great, thank you." Carol readily accepted the offer, there were a lot more clothes then normal with the Greene family clothes in the piles now. "Could you start on that end?" She pointed to the far side. Laura realized they were doing this in sections, Carol on the far right and Lori in the middle, with Laura now at the far left side.
Laura saw another smaller basket on the far side and before she headed over there, Carol handed her a small box of clips. She stood at the end and watched them clip the clothes on, seeing how to do it for herself. She started clipping the clothes up best she could, knowing a few shirts she'd gotten wrong, but ignored it for the most part.
She didn't say anything to them, she couldn't find anything to talk about. She knew so little about Lori that she couldn't find something in common with her, she didn't have a child, she was never married, she only just found someone she cared about, and she had no clue what Lori liked or disliked. There were no movies she could think of, no books or activities she could mention without eliciting a the feeling of loss or regret. So she avoided things from the old world.
Before she knew it the clothes were up and the baskets were empty. Laura blinked, how long was she doing this for?
Carol had gone to fetch Sophia, having other chores for the day and Laura saw Lori collecting the baskets and extra clip boxes. This is your chance! Laura stared at Lori, who picked up the basket Carol had been using. She was alone with Lori, she could talk to her, speak freely... well, as much as she could with a woman she knew so little about.
Laura's eyes flicked to Rick who was still talking to Shane and Hershel. She wanted to do this, for Rick, so that she could know him and his family, not just pick him out from the crowd. She really wanted to know them all, everyone in the group, but she had already developed close relationships with Daryl and Rick, she was starting a friendship with Glenn, now that she knew for certain they'd continue asking her for the supply runs.
Huffing, Laura sucked in all her fear and doubt, making her way straight to Lori who had just taken the extra clip box and threw them into the basket. Laura carried her basket and box of clips to her, a way to break the ice.
"Hey Lori." She smiled as brightly as she could, trying to make herself look happy as can be. "Where are we takin' these?"
Lori looked at her with wide eyes for a second, she thought Laura was gone by now, with all the clothes on the line. "Oh, it's alright, I'll take it." She went to take the basket from Laura, who denied. "I wanna' help, I'll follow you."
She nodded hesitantly, Laura saw she was a bit confused, but allowed Laura to follow her. They were heading to the farmhouse, but Laura still couldn't come up with a way to talk to her. Something, anything was better then her being so speechless. Rick loved this woman and Laura wanted to get to know her, not just for Rick, but Laura had thought she should really focus on getting to know the group more and the best way to start that was to talk to the one person Laura had barely spoken to.
It was mere coincidence that it was Rick's wife. Laura's head spun with possible topics. Rick being one of them, but she didn't want to burden Lori's mind with thoughts of her husband anymore. Lori being pregnant, telling him about her and Shane. Rick was not a topic she wanted to touch. Carl? How absolutely weird would it be for someone you barely know to walk up to you one day and ask how your son is doing?
In the old world, that could land someone a nice talk to a few police officers.
So Laura sighed, mad at herself for not knowing anything else about Lori. She literally knew nothing at all and it made her feel stupid, like because she talked to Rick so much and he was the one who kept her little walker-past a secret when he had nothing to gain from doing so, he just did because he was thoughtful of others. She just had to get to know Lori, she felt bad for not trying at the least.
They entered the farmhouse and took the baskets into a backroom where a few utility supplies were stacked up. It was an old laundry room, but with no electricity or water running, it was useless. So they had used it as a storage room now, where various accessories were kept.
"Here." Lori had slid the baskets underneath a shelf, took the basket from Laura and put it with the others. She put the clip boxes on one of the shelves and turned to leave. The room wasn't large enough for two people to squeeze through, not with all the stuff that's been piling up in the room.
Laura was about to turn around and exit so Lori could get passed her, but Lori gave her a very pointed, but confused look and right as Laura was trying to step around the stuff in the room to leave, Lori spoke up. "What do you want?"
Laura spun around, blinking at the woman. She was reeling in shock from the sudden and stunning question, it was said suspiciously and caused Laura's mind to go blank before shaking her head and replying. "I'm sorry, what?"
Lori pursed her lips, she wasn't angry or afraid of Laura, she just didn't know what Laura was doing. "When we were hanging clothes, you were staring at me. Then you offered to carry your basket back, the entire way to the house you were still staring. You haven't said a word, just smiled at me. I don't know... I'm a little uncomfortable." She said honestly, a hand running through her hair.
Laura's eyes went wide, "Oh! I'm so sorry. I feel like such an idiot!" She put her head in her hands, shook her head, and looked back up to Lori. "I actually wanted to talk to you, but I... didn't know how."
She frowned, "What did you want to talk about?" It was a concerned and curious tone now, but still held suspicion.
"Nothin' important really," She shrugged, looking off to the side. "I just... Look, you probably already know that me an' Rick are friends, we talk to each other sometimes, but I came to realize that... the only time I've ever talked to you, the wife of my friend, was the day we met, the day Rick an' I both arrived at camp for the first time... An' I regret not talkin' to you, I wanna' get to know everyone an' I felt like gettin' to know you... would be a good idea." She answered innocently, worried that her reasoning fell on deaf ears.
Lori stared at her hard for a moment, as if trying to see through Laura who was standing there nervously biting her lip and shifting on her feet. It took a minute, but Lori nodded and her expression softened. "Why didn't you just say that?"
There was a small chuckle from Laura. "I didn't want to sound like you were part of a list of people I wanna' talk to. I wanted to come up to you an' talk, just like normal people do. I've only ever really talked to Rick an' Daryl about stuff, rarely Andrea. I've spent a little time with Glenn an' T-Dog. Also talked to Carol a tiny bit, but I feel like Sophia bein' around spoke more me an' her then anythin' I could ever actually say. Even Dale to a lesser extend though. You're the only person in our group I've never talked to an', like I said, I think I'm a decent friend to Rick an' he's been great to me... So I thought that... gettin' to know his wife was actually a step in the right direction, tryin' to get closer to the group an' everyone here individually."
At her nervous confession, Lori smiled at her happily. "Alright, we can talk. I don't see why not. It was just strange having someone follow me like that... I guess that's really because we don't know each other very well. I know so little about you and you know so little about me." Laura smiled at her as Lori continued, "So let's go back outside and talk then, okay?" Laura nodded, smiling back at Lori as she left the room, Lori right behind her.
That was relatively painless. Laura smirked, Lori had been the one to speak first and Laura wasn't against actually admitting why she wanted to talk to Lori. The wife of her close friend, she felt like a complete moron not taking the time out of her day to actually talk to the woman.
As they left the house, Lori held a hand above her eyes, looking out to the camp, but she remained on the porch. She was looking at Carl, who was with Carol and Sophia now. She trusted them and decided to sit down to talk with Laura, on the same rocking chairs Laura and Rick had sat down together before.
Laura took the hint and sat with her, "So what do you want to talk about? Anything in specific?" Lori asked, wondering if Laura had another reason for wanting to talk to her. The baby was the most likely topic, everyone wanted to talk about the baby.
Again, Laura just shrugged, "I really have no ideas. I just felt bad for not gettin' to know you... or tryin' to at the very least. I don't know anythin' about you or Carl, I just know Rick an' that's it." She frowned, she had such weak connections to the members of the group, not as survivors, but as people.
"Well, what about we start with the basics?" Lori tried to make it easier for Laura, who had been struggling the entire time to find something to talk about. "How old are you?"
Laura instantly brightened at the start of a conversation, which made Lori smile more. "I'm twenty-five." She answered simply, "I was born healthy, no medical issues whatsoever. I haven't had any really, unless you count that before all this walker business I had to wear glasses, but I don't need 'em now."
Lori was interested, "Really? So... being cured actually helped your eyesight?"
"Tremendously!" She replied ecstatically. "I can see in the dark now, like it was day. I can't see too far, but I without glasses or contacts I can see without blurriness."
"That's good, I wouldn't know what to do if I had to wear glasses with all this going on." Lori mused the idea, it was not a good one. "If they got broken I guess I'd be out of luck." It wasn't a good thought, wondering what it would be like in this world with even the slightest disability, even one so common and so easy to fix as the need for glasses. It was simple in the old world, but today... it was not good.
"What about your career? What were you?" Lori hadn't heard from Rick about her occupation yet.
"I was a doctor, for a short while of course." She had been a doctor for such little time she barely considered herself a doctor. "I had only just become a certified doctor for about a year or so when the outbreak hit."
Lori was surprised at this. "A doctor. Really?" She remembered when Carl was shot, how they needed a doctor, a surgeon, but got a veterinarian. She heavily doubted Hershel's ability to save Carl because of it, but she believed that he knew what to do on some level and it worked, Hershel was successful and Lori held do more doubts about him now.
But she still would've liked to have had some kind of human medical professional with them.
"Yeah, I didn't do much of the big stuff. I was hired at an ER so I dealt with a lot of things that required more immediate care, but I wasn't the most experienced in the world, nor was I the best." Laura thought she was good, told she had good bedside manners and was able to help many people.
"... Could you have... helped Carl when he was shot?" Her voice wavered slightly.
The question made Laura really wonder if she could've. She never dealt with a gunshot wound before, never had to deal with the damage done and she didn't know if the wound was clean entry and exit, if the bullet was lodged in his body, or even where the gunshot wound was on Carl. She never looked. "Maybe... I don't know. I never had to deal with someone who got shot before. I guess I could've, but I don't know what happened really, so I can't say for certain."
Lori nodded, she didn't mind at all. Carl was alive and walking around again, rough housing even. So she was happy. "What about your family? I remember what you said about your father... but what about your mother, siblings, aunts or uncles?"
Laura shook her head negatively, "My mother left me with my father when I was four, never even tried to contact me or take custody. Just left one day. I don't really remember her other then the pictures in the house." Lori felt bad for mentioning it, but it was a part of knowing someone. Knowing their family, just like Laura said. "I have no brothers or sisters. I've never met my grandparents and don't know anythin' about any of my relatives. Guess that was a stroke of luck on my part, huh?"
Reluctantly, Lori agreed with her. Not having any real family before all this happened actually made it easier. "Did you have anyone in your life? A boyfriend? Or fiancée?"
"Nope, I lived alone an' never dated anyone." It was a clear and crisp answer, one that surprised Lori. "Really?" Laura nodded again.
"So you're saying that..." Lori glanced out over the fields, to where Laura and Daryl's tent was. "... Daryl is the first man you've ever been with?"
Laura snickered, a slight blush crept to her face. "Yeah, first guy who I've ever really had anythin' with. I was in a group before I met y'all an' there was a guy there who showed interest, but it didn't work out. Me bein' as I am, I had to leave 'em, so they're out there alive, if you're wonderin', but Daryl is the first man I've actually pursued a relationship with."
That made Lori shake her head with a smile, "That's quite a leap. From prince charming to redneck with a crossbow." It was a joke, playful teasing and Laura knew. She whacked Lori's arm lightly, "Hey! That's my crossbow wieldin' redneck an' I like him a lot. He doesn't act like it, but he's actually really nice when you get to know him. He's been nothin' but the best to me."
"I wouldn't have seen that coming..." There was a barely audible sigh from Lori, "Then again, same problem. I don't know him beyond having said a few words to him... He could've fooled me."
Laura looked at the porch floor with a frown, "What do you mean?"
Lori saw Laura looking a little worried about her statement. "I just... There have been a few times where I've talked to Daryl in the past. None of them ever really ended out well."
"Like?" Laura wanted to know, not just because it was her Daryl Lori was talking about, but because she really wanted to know if Daryl was actually being hurtful to the group. If there was anything he'd ever done in the group that would have caused their usual avoidance of him, other then the fact that he used to spend all his time around Merle, which, that in and of itself kept everyone away.
Lori didn't want to say it, but she wasn't going to lie like it never happened. "The night you were in the barn with Sophia, when Rick and Glenn went to find Hershel... They left in the day and it doesn't take that long to reach town and come back. It was dark out, almost midnight, and they weren't back." Laura remembered Rick telling her about that night, it was the one where they picked up Randall. "I was so worried... I thought... I thought something had happened."
Laura understood that, she didn't know what to say to Lori about it, clearly the three were back now. So it must've gone fine enough...
"I went to Daryl's camp, he was the only one I felt I could trust with this. I couldn't ask Shane..." She trailed off, not going into detail about that and Laura knew why, so she didn't prod. "I found him at his fire, carving arrows I think. I asked him... I felt like begging him... to go see if he could find Rick, Glenn, and Hershel."
It mustn't have worked, Laura knew he was angry after seeing Sophia as a walker. He fought everyday to find her, nearly died more then once, and kept fighting until they opened that barn. Sophia being turned was a blow none of them could take, so when Laura had entered that barn with Sophia, she knew none of them really believed she could bring her back.
They all lost a part of them that day, hope was crushed but when Sophia came back, it was an awakening. They had nearly lost the most innocent member of their group, that little girl meant so much to everyone, regardless of if they even knew her or her mother very well.
"He told me no, of course, but... I don't know, the way he said it... I was angry. I was scared. I wanted to know they were safe, that Rick was still alive. Out here, in this world, being late, taking too long for anything... It never has a good reason, it always, always, is something bad and I was right. They were in a shoot out, they could've died..." Lori hated thinking about it, that night... she didn't care about the car accident, not at all compared to what might have been the worse night of her life. "I said something... I was harsh on him because he didn't say yes. I was wrong to say it, I know that now... but all I wanted was Rick back, safe, Glenn and Hershel too. But Rick..."
Laura reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, relaxing the woman. "It's okay, I understand. Daryl ain't the easiest to get along with, I know. I know how he can be with people... I mean, when I first talked to him, he was rude, not as bad as he normally was back then, I'm sure, but wasn't exactly the kindest man I ever met." She giggled, "In fact, he called me a bitch."
Lori stared at her, "And this is the man you love?" She asked incredulously.
"Well, I don't know about love really, we just started likin' each other, give me some time to think that through!" She found Lori's stunned look amusing, so she laughed a little. "His brother was cuffed to a roof. If I was in his shoes, I wouldn't feel to good neither. If you didn't notice... when Rick an' Shane told him about Merle bein' up there, alone, sufferin' from dehydration an' exposure, Daryl was actually cryin'. That kinda' death ain't pleasant, I've seen people who've come into the hospital I worked sufferin' from it. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."
Lori knew that was true, but she still hated that Rick went after Merle and the guns, right after he found them. She had every right to be angry with the decision to rescue Merle and they did end up needing those guns rather badly. "Neither would I really." She, however, didn't notice Daryl's strong reaction to the news. "I didn't see Daryl cry though."
"He was, he fought it, did what he could to hide it, but he was." It made Laura's heart lurch at the idea of something causing him that much pain. She couldn't very well go out and find Merle now, but she didn't like knowing that Daryl was missing his brother. "When we found Merle's hand on that rooftop, it was just as bad... if not worse. He was screamin' an' cryin'. That was the only family he had an' now, for all we know, Merle could be a walker now, he could've been eaten, or he could be out there survivin' on his own, maybe with another group. Point is, if someone did that to Rick, you'd be just as sad and angry. Daryl's got human emotions too..."
That was true, she knew no one had no emotion at all, but she still hated Merle, that drugged up asshole who was always disrupting camp or harassing them. She wondered constantly when the day would come that Shane, as Rick wasn't there at the time, would end up having to either kick Merle out or the other worse option.
"... even if his life depended on honestly, he'd deny it."
Lori laughed, Daryl was rather insistent on being known as the loner of the group, always was separate from them, never allowed anyone near him, never touched people... She paused, Daryl was actually very much like a rebelling child. She didn't want to think of him like that, but he was. He always denied other people anything, he would refuse to do so much, but when the time came, when they really needed him, he would show up out of the blue and fight for them, without question.
It made her smile again, Daryl was actually a good guy. When she insulted him, snapped at him that night, he rebutted with his search for Sophia and his feelings about Sophia being turned was clear now. It wasn't that he was asked to do it, but that he felt he had to, he wanted to find that little girl for Carol, for the group, and himself.
"I should apologize to him." Lori commented, she felt bad for biting at him like that. They were both mourning Sophia and she was dealing with wondering if her husband was still alive. "Maybe, when you're with me too... just in case."
"Absolutely." Laura stood up, sighing deeply. "I figure he should be back soon. You up to it today?"
Lori rose with Laura, "Yes, I want to put it behind me." She couldn't stand what she had said to him, he was in pain facing the loss of Sophia, the girl he had shown he would die to find, and she had offended his hard work. She had offended him as a good man.
Laura lead her off the porch and they were heading straight for Laura and Daryl camp, which made Lori a little surprised. "You're taking me to your tent?"
"Yeah, I figure it's best. He shouldn't be gone too much longer an' I was gonna' head back up there anyways. Might as well kill two birds with one stone. You get my support, bein' that Daryl doesn't often get mad in front of me, guess he don't like to, dunno', not important!" She laughed, "So just come on up, we'll talk a little more 'til he gets back, assumin' he doesn't stay out late."
The two women continued through the field, just walking in silence. Laura felt like she had completed another feet, she had talked to Lori and built something between them. No arguments, no disagreements, Lori showed no signs of shunning her or being uncomfortable around her, and Laura started to like her. Not because they seemed to get along so far, but because Lori was a soft spoken woman who had her own moral compass and, though a little hesitant to voice her opinions, would do so when honestly was asked for.
Laura thought that Rick would've seen them leave camp, she hoped he wouldn't be upset with her, but he had said he trusted her alone with his family and right now, giving Lori the chance to put her harsh words to Daryl, whatever they may have been, behind her so she doesn't have to think about it anymore warranted her being alone with Lori for at least a little while, until Daryl came back.
She was excited to find Daryl after her return into camp. The run into town was nice, she liked spending time with Glenn and it proved to the camp she was capable of doing it. She could see herself partnering up with Glenn in the future.
She also hoped Daryl wouldn't mind Lori following her into their camp, but she was entitled to her choice in friends around the group and didn't want animosity between anyone at camp and Daryl or herself. Helping Lori with her apology to Daryl was a part of that.
Finally, the camp came into view and she loved the sight of it. Just looking at the tent, the string of kills between the trees, the commemorative necklace of walker ears, and the stone fireplace standing alone, it all made her feel more... homey even at the end of the world.
Possibly even more so then if the world hadn't been overrun by the undead. She felt better here then at her own apartment before the world went to hell, she wondered if it was because there were people she cared about around, if it was because this was where she spent her off time with Daryl, or because she just preferred the fields and wildlife to stone walls, stone floors, and skyscrapers.
She sat in front of where they would start a fire, the ashes still black from last night and Lori joined her.
They spoke for sometime after arriving at the small camp, talking about whatever came to mind. Whether it was the old world or part of this new threatening one, but they were never in a bad mood and didn't discuss anything that upset either of them.
Laura felt like she started to make a new friend and with Rick's wife, the one she was so worried about pleasing. She didn't want Lori to hate her or even dislike her in the slightest fashion, she wanted Lori to approve of her, like Lori being friends with Laura was encouraging her to be closer to the Grimes family.
It was nice, especially after a day in town, with Glenn, then with Rick, and finally with Lori. Everything went well, even though she knew Daryl didn't like her leaving for the supply run.
He still let her go, she would've gone anyways, but she didn't want to leave with him being mad with her. They were barely together as it was, all Daryl said to her was that he cared about her, which was a big enough deal for Laura to begin trying for a real serious relationship with him. She hoped he felt the same about her, but she wouldn't hold any grudges if he decided he didn't like her as she liked him.
She told Lori about her relationship with Daryl, she spoke openly about it, and it felt calming to talk about it with someone experienced with serious relationships.
Unlike Glenn, who compared him to the Green Arrow. Which still made Laura laugh.