Chapter 5:
Viscount Crawley paced around the room, biting his lip nervously. He kept glancing at the door—anxiously waiting and dreading for Miss Bennet to walk in. The dreaded moment came and the footman opened the door, revealing a very composed Jane Bennet. It made him anything but calm.
"Thank you for seeing me, Miss Bennet" he said, mustering his courage and bowing slightly.
"My aunt is in the room next us, the door of the drawing room will remain open" she said, nodding her head in acknowledgment and proceeding to sit in one of the chairs. Her voice ever so sweet and composed as she always was.
"Of course" he said, walking after her and sitting across from her. He cleared his throat and began, "I am sorry. I did not mean to embarrass you, I have been thinking of what to say since last night...I believe I must begin in the beginning. My family, the Crawleys are a prominent family up north, we have an estate called Downton. You once teased about my worth...I am sure your friend Miss Bingley would know, it is more than ten thousand a year. My father is Lord Crawley and as the eldest son, I will inherit everything." He added with a heavy sigh. "I know it is my responsibility, however, I struggle with the attention it brings."
"By attention you mean sycophancy?" answered Jane, smiling, easing the tension.
"Yes, precisely" he said, taking a deep breath, as if he had said his soliloquy in one whole breath.
"You mentioned a sister the other day?" answered Miss Bennet. He looked up hopefully, as if her asking questions was a sign that she was at least interested in speaking with him. At that moment he was willing to answer anything—if that meant she would keep talking to him.
"Laura. Mrs Caresol. She did the unthinkable and married beneath her. My family was disappointed but I was static! I could be someone else with her. I started dabbling in trade and made my own fortune as Mr. Dalligan. As I mentioned to you yesterday, I very much value my identity and something other than the future Lord Crawley, heir of Downton. You do not know how difficult it is—I never who is real."
"But why did you not tell me?" she asked, in almost a whisper. For that is the question she really wanted to know. Why could he not have trusted her?
"Because I was scared of what telling you would mean" he paused, but did not elaborate. Jane could feel what he was trying to say. He was not ready to declare himself and perhaps felt the truth would lead to expectations. "How would you see me now?" he said instead.
"I would like to think the same, Viscount Crawley" she answered, smirking at him.
"I care very much for your opinion, Miss Bennet. I have come to realize how much I care for your good opinion once I thought it was lost. Would it be...could I...do I presume too much in asking to call on you, with some frequency?" he hesitated.
"With what purpose?" she teased. He laughed at her reference to an earlier conversation.
"To introduce you to Viscount Crawley" he said, answering honestly but not directly.
"I would be delighted to make his acquaintance" she said, knowing he had evaded the real question but understood that he still needed time. It seems there is more that he is hiding—not just his name, she sighed.
"Perhaps you would like to join me at the theater tomorrow night? Your aunt and uncle are invited."
"I will ask my aunt once she joins us in the drawing room" answered Jane diplomatically.
"That would be splendid" he said, smiling widely, "I believe you will like the benefits of being friends with Viscount Crawley"
"Oh? Pray tell what those might be" asked Jane, laughing.
"Well, for starters, I have the best seats in the theater, aside from the Royal Box, and I am invited to all balls and gatherings of the ton. Though perhaps the latter might not be a benefit. And I am always surrounded by the most beautiful women" he said, looking straight at her.
"I believe you had that as Mr. Dalligan" teased Jane, revealing a dimple on her cheek. He loved when he could make her smile in a genuine way that she would dimple.
"When I was with you, I did" he teased back, his green eyes staring at her intently. Mrs. Gardiner entered soon after this said conversation, agreed to the theater plans, and was happy to see her niece smiling again.
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The party at the parsonage had dined at Rosings a couple of times. Aside from those engagements, there were none. So Elizabeth was able to enjoy long walks in the beautiful grounds of Rosings.
More than once did Elizabeth, in her ramble within the park, unexpectedly meet Mr. Darcy. She felt all the perverseness of the mischance that should bring him where no one else was brought, and, to prevent its ever happening again, took care to inform him at first that it was a favourite haunt of hers. How it could occur a second time, therefore, was very odd! Yet it did, and even a third. It seemed like wilful ill-nature, or a voluntary penance, for on these occasions it was not merely a few formal inquiries and an awkward pause and then away, but he actually thought it necessary to turn back and walk with her. He never said a great deal, nor did she give herself the trouble of talking or of listening much; but it struck her in the course of their third rencontre that he was asking some odd unconnected questions—about her pleasure in being at Hunsford, her love of solitary walks, and her opinion of Mr. and Mrs. Collins's happiness; and that in speaking of Rosings and her not perfectly understanding the house, he seemed to expect that whenever she came into Kent again she would be staying there too. His words seemed to imply it. Could he have Colonel Fitzwilliam in his thoughts? She supposed, if he meant anything, he must mean an allusion to what might arise in that quarter. It distressed her a little, and she was quite glad to find herself at the gate in the pales opposite the Parsonage.
Elizabeth was sitting by herself one morning, a few weeks into her stay at the Parsonage, writing a letter to Jane while Mrs. Collins and Maria had gone to the village.
She was glad to have solitude time to write to Jane, who seems in the highest of spirits. She had briefly mentioned at Mr. Dalligan but had not implied much, other than she was enjoying his company and he was in trade. From her aunt, Elizabeth had learned he was a constant caller and brought out a side of Jane that Mrs. Gardiner was very happy to see.
It was with these happy sentiments that she was startled by a ring at the door, the certain signal of a visitor. As she had heard no carriage, she thought it not unlikely to be Lady Catherine, and under that apprehension was putting away her half-finished letter that she might escape all impertinent questions, when the door opened, and, to her very great surprise, Mr. Darcy, and Mr. Darcy only, entered the room.
He seemed astonished too on finding her alone, and apologized for his intrusion by letting her know that he had understood all the ladies were to be within.
They then sat down, and when her inquiries after Rosings were made, seemed in danger of sinking into total silence. It was absolutely necessary, therefore, to think of something, and in this emergence recollecting when she had seen him last in Hertfordshire, and feeling curious to know what he would say on the subject of their hasty departure, she observed:
"How very suddenly you all quitted Netherfield last November, Mr. Darcy! It must have been a most agreeable surprise to Mr. Bingley to see you all after him so soon; for, if I recollect right, he went but the day before. He and his sisters were well, I hope, when you left London?"
"Perfectly so, I thank you" he said.
She found that she was to receive no other answer, and, after a short pause added:
"I think I have understood that Mr. Bingley has not much idea of ever returning to Netherfield again?"
"I have never heard him say so; but it is probable that he may spend very little of his time there in the future. He has many friends, and is at a time of life when friends and engagements are continually increasing."
"If he means to be but little at Netherfield, it would be better for the neighbourhood that he should give up the place entirely, for then we might possibly get a settled family there. But, perhaps, Mr. Bingley did not take the house so much for the convenience of the neighbourhood as for his own, and we must expect him to keep it or quit it on the same principle."
"I should not be surprised," said Darcy, "if he were to give it up as soon as any eligible purchase offers."
Elizabeth made no answer. She was afraid of talking longer of his friend, specially now that Jane had no intentions of his renewal; and, having nothing else to say, was now determined to leave the trouble of finding a subject to him.
He took the hint, and soon began with, "This seems a very comfortable house. Lady Catherine, I believe, did a great deal to it when Mr. Collins first came to Hunsford."
"I believe she did—and I am sure she could not have bestowed her kindness on a more grateful object."
"Mr. Collins appears to be very fortunate in his choice of a wife."
"Yes, indeed, his friends may well rejoice in his having met with one of the very few sensible women who would have accepted him, or have made him happy if they had. My friend has an excellent understanding—though I am not certain that I consider her marrying Mr. Collins as the wisest thing she ever did. She seems perfectly happy, however, and in a prudential light it is certainly a very good match for her."
"It must be very agreeable for her to be settled within so easy a distance of her own family and friends."
"An easy distance, do you call it? It is nearly fifty miles."
"And what is fifty miles of good road? Little more than half a day's journey. Yes, I call it a very easy distance."
"I should never have considered the distance as one of the advantages of the match," cried Elizabeth. "I should never have said Mrs. Collins was settled near her family."
"It is a proof of your own attachment to Hertfordshire. Anything beyond the very neighbourhood of Longbourn, I suppose, would appear far."
As he spoke there was a sort of smile which Elizabeth fancied she understood; he must be supposing her to be thinking of Jane and Netherfield, and she blushed as she answered, for he did not know that Jane had no intention of a relationship with Mr. Bingley:
"I do not mean to say that a woman may not be settled too near her family. The far and the near must be relative, and depend on many varying circumstances. Where there is fortune to make the expenses of travelling unimportant, distance becomes no evil. But that is not the case here. Mr. and Mrs. Collins have a comfortable income, but not such a one as will allow of frequent journeys—and I am persuaded my friend would not call herself near her family under less than half the present distance."
Mr. Darcy drew his chair a little towards her, and said, "You cannot have a right to such very strong local attachment. You cannot have been always at Longbourn."
Elizabeth looked surprised. The gentleman experienced some change of feeling; he drew back his chair, took a newspaper from the table, and glancing over it, said, in a colder voice:
"Are you pleased with Kent?"
A short dialogue on the subject of the country ensued, on either side calm and concise—and soon put an end to by the entrance of Charlotte and her sister, just returned from her walk. The tête-à-tête surprised them. Mr. Darcy related the mistake which had occasioned his intruding on Miss Bennet, and after sitting a few minutes longer without saying much to anybody, went away.
"What can be the meaning of this?" said Charlotte, as soon as he was gone. "My dear, Eliza, he must be in love with you, or he would never have called us in this familiar way."
But when Elizabeth told of his silence, it did not seem very likely, even to Charlotte's wishes, to be the case; and after various conjectures, they could at last only suppose his visit to proceed from the difficulty of finding anything to do, which was the more probable from the time of year.
But why Mr. Darcy came so often to the Parsonage, it was more difficult to understand. It could not be for society, as he frequently sat there ten minutes together without opening his lips; and when he did speak, it seemed the effect of necessity rather than of choice—a sacrifice to propriety, not a pleasure to himself. He seldom appeared really animated. Mrs. Collins knew not what to make of him.
She had once or twice suggested to Elizabeth the possibility of his being partial to her, but Elizabeth always laughed at the idea; and Mrs. Collins did not think it right to press the subject, from the danger of raising expectations which might only end in disappointment; for in her opinion it admitted not of a doubt, that all her friend's dislike would vanish, if she could suppose him to be in her power.
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"Oh Jane, you look marvelous! I am so happy we got the emerald ribbon to match this dress. You will look splendid tonight at the theater. And we know everyone will be watching so we must make it count, my dear" added Mrs. Gardiner, as she fixed the end of the ribbon, which was hanging ever so slightly.
"Whatever do you mean?" asked Jane, turning away from the mirror to look at her aunt.
"My dear, when the reclusive and very sought after Viscount Crawley takes a beautiful young lady to the theater, it will not go unnoticed" explained Mrs. Gardiner.
"We are not...he is not...courting me" said Jane, hiding her disappointment.
"I believe the Viscount is a man of many very layers, my hear, however, I will say this. He singles you out and behaves like a gentleman. In due course he will open fully, I believe" said Mrs. Gardiner.
"I will still accept invitations from other potential suitors, aunt" said Jane, not wanting to but understanding that it was the responsible thing to do. She had already closed herself off for another gentleman and had wasted precious time. She would not do the same again.
"I would not expect otherwise" said Mrs. Gardiner. Whether her tone was in approval or disappointment, Jane could not tell.
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The opera was outstanding, the singers breathtaking, the atmosphere enchanting, but Matthew only had eyes for Miss Bennet. He could feel her sitting close to him, enjoying the opera as much as he would, on a normal circumstance. He wanted to whisper in her ear or inch his hand towards hers but he could not. A wave of pain and fear washed over him, cooling off whatever emotion he had been feeling.
He did not want to vacillate with her. And if he had to make a choice between losing her or having her, he would wed her the next day. But he was not sure of his own heart. Was he ready to love again? Alas, he did not know. That is why he had hoped to be Mr. Dalligan for longer for it was Viscount Crawley who held the pain.
Miss Bennet shifted from underneath his gaze and smiled brilliantly at him. He smiled back reassuringly and focused back on the stage. He felt her watching him, knowing that there was something more. But he was not ready. And he prayed that she would wait. Beautiful, patient, and loving Jane, please give me time.
The interlude was announced and from around the theater ladies and gentlemen stood up to stretch and get a drink.
"Would you like to get a refreshment?" asked Viscount Crawley.
"Yes, thank you" said Jane, smiling sweetly. He offered her his arm and she gladly took it. With the consent of Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, the couple walked off their private box and went into the main drawing room of the theater.
They were still smiling, hand in arm, when they heard a familiar shrilly voice.
"Miss Bennet!" called out the voice, forcing them to reluctantly turn around.
"Miss Bingley" said Jane politely, "You remember Viscount Crawley"
"Of course" she said, smiling brightly and curtsying, "I believe you were mistaken about his name, my dear Jane" she added, a sly smirk on her face. Jane was about to respond but it was the Viscount who rose to her defense.
"Mr. Dalligan is a name that only few are privy to, Miss Bingley" he answered curtly, "Lovely to see you here tonight."
"Likewise" she said, forcing a smile. She knew a set-down when she heard one and was about to walk away when they all heard another familiar voice.
"Mr. Bingley" whispered Jane, holding on tighter to Mr. Crawley's arm.
"Miss Bennet" said the young man who approached them, bowing slightly, "Since when are you in town?" he asked incredulously.
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You may have noticed that I used some text from the original here, I find it helps to keep the order/timeline straight. Mr. Darcy's arrival at Rosings coincides with Lizzy's new understanding of Charlotte as well as Jane.
Ahh, so excited to be reading this story once again! thanks for all the feedback!
what did you think of this chapter?
p.s. so i came here to respond to a comment...this is a fun thing for me, its not a professional, writing a book, and to give feedback like use spell check, look up a word first to see if it fits, change this name and change that, and dont use the original text like just dont read it. I used the original text bc im writing janes story, not elizabeth, but i want to keep the storyline clear sheesh, calling me lazy? I want to see u try to write a story and then come back and give me all this criticism. this is a fun place, either enjoy the story or feel free to read another :)