Hi readers!
A message to some guest reviewers / PM-ers: no, I did not abandon this story, I just had a hard time getting the story into order. But I am back on track again as you can see.
To another guest reviewer: the notion that Japanese people all have a white complexion and cannot sit in the sun for long is, to my notion, not correct and based upon the preferred beauty ideal. This image of Japanese beauty is the image that has been spread throughout the world in imagery, movies, books and other art forms. In reality however, Japanese people have a wide variety of skin complexion, varying from dark (think native american) to white. Rin, in my mind's eye, has a somewhat dark complexion.
To all my other readers: thank you so much for your patience and the great reviews! Keep them coming!
Chapter 12 - How does one keep calm while being …..
How does one keep calm while being interrogated by three ancient magical beings? Rin tried and failed miserably. She clutched a cup filled with some unknown herb tea, the warmth seeping into her fingers. It was a welcome feeling to distract her from her churning stomach, caused by Elrond's questions and piercing eyes.
Like the first time they met, there was no hiding from him - she felt naked, exposed and she inexplicably felt the need to confide in him. She would tell him where she came from and what she knew of this world, just like that. It was information that she had not shared with the twins and if felt like bitter treason to disclose it now to their father while they watched her like hawks from his sides.
She took another sip of tea.
Elrond's natural air of authority was intimidating, but he was friendly and quick to laugh. Underneath his merriment, he displayed the same uncanny ability to sense her emotions, as his sons. Effortlessly, he detected her reluctance when conversation turned to certain parts of her life, steering around difficult subjects with the ease of the very wise. She suspected that he gained far more information from her timid answers than she was actually expressing with words. Despite his friendliness and encouraging smiles, his old eyes pierced hers unrelentingly while he pressed on with his questions.
The elaborately carved round wooden table, facilitated the twins who sat on either side of their father and herself, leaving one vacant seat. The afternoon sun filtered through the windows, enhancing the likeness between father and sons. And it was astounding. But their handsome faces were carefully expressionless as if they played a game of poker.
Elrond's questions became more serious, focussing on her background. She talked reluctantly about her life in Japan. The distance between her present reality and her old life had grown to such an extent that she almost could not imagine Earth as real any more. The words came with great difficulty and with disgust she faced the emptiness of that life. She searched for comfort from the twins, but their expressionless faces only made her feel lonely.
"And tell me about your father and mother, Rin. Are they both from Japan originally?"
She hesitated, what was he after? What had her parents to do with anything?
His old eyes guessed the cause of her confusion immediately. "Forgive me for asking such .. intimate… questions, Rin. But your arrival in Middle Earth might be connected with your heritage."
She nodded in understanding. "My mother was Japanese and my father was part Japanese and part British actually. I was brought up speaking English or Westron as you call it, but Japanese as well."
Elrond cocked his head to the side only slightly. "So you were brought up with a mixed heritage?"
"Yes, my British heritage made me in the eyes of some Japanese, too individualistic and too direct in my communication. In England, my appearance stands out. I am a product of two very different cultures."
"Do you have siblings?"
She swallowed, her throat dry. She glanced at the twins, but they seemed like statues, silent and distant. She could not do this. Taking a deep breath she stated: "Please Lord Elrond, they died. My little sister, my father and mother. I do not want to talk about the dead."
The twins shifted, frowns marring their features in concern. Suddenly, she lamented the fact that she had not told them earlier. And now she had shared this very intimate information in the presence of their father instead of within the private comfortable intimacy of their togetherness. Why had she not confided in them?
The twins in turn seemed at a loss for words, struggling to react. They were shocked for they knew instantly that this was the root of the darkness inside of her. Her whole family dead. They knew how much it cost her to speak of it in the presence of themselves and their father.
Suddenly Rin felt a warm hand touch hers tentatively underneath the table. First just the fingers and then soon the hand wrapped around hers firmly, squeezing lightly. Elladan, for it was his hand, smiled at her ever so slightly and she felt the warmth of his hand entering her heart.
Elladan said hesitantly: "Forgive us, Rin. It must cause you great pain. We will not pry further."
She smiled at him, a vulnerable smile that was born out of bravery instead of honesty.
Soon, the conversation steered towards the ring, which was a welcome distraction from the dark pit of pain inside of her. But it brought on a severe dilemma.
After much deliberation, Elrond first shared his knowledge on the history of the ring to refresh her memory. Using a large map of Middle Earth in the middle of the table he navigated through his memories.
She stared at the paper image of the world that she found herself in. It seemed different from maps that she remembered from the books, the style differed greatly and it was more elaborately embellished. Subtly, her survival mechanism took over and she tried to memorize every detail of the near surroundings. Trying to decipher the route she travelled with the twins and ultimately trace it back towards the spot she must have shown up. She could trace it back only so far and all too soon Elrond's voice and his words captured her attention as if it were a magic spell.
The stories unfolded before her mind's eye as if it was a movie, she could not influence the cause of events, nor close herself off of it. Beautiful landscapes, horrifying enemies and life defying actions surged through her until the ring had fallen into the river and travelled past all knowledge or memory.
Elrond recalling events that happened centuries past, out of his own experiences and memories, felt incredibly strange. Rationally, she knew Elves to be old, but their youthful, or better said, timeless appearance fooled her again and again.
But now she sensed all his many years acutely, an experience making her feel like a child. Eying the twins, the incredible age difference between them descended upon her anew.
Elrond's story ended and she woke as if from a dream. Finally, she understood where she was in the books, the ring had yet to be found. But she still had no clue how to proceed.
"Can I not just tell you everything that I know?"
Elrond's long fingers stroked his dark hair in contemplation, his elbow resting on the table. He was in thought for a long time while his sons waited patiently.
After awhile he said slowly: "There is a danger in knowing things that yet may be. Foresight is dangerous as a guide for deeds. A foreseen path might not come to pass because those that hold the knowledge of foresight, chose another path to prevent it."
She blinked in confusion. It seemed logical. A silence fell at the table. In the distance a bell sounded for the noon meal. And as if on cue, an Elf arrived with lunch for five. In the Elf's wake, Glorfindel made his entrance, smiling radiantly at her, taking her hand kissing it after which he nodded towards the twins. Elladan inclined his head in respect mumbling in Elvish to him. She wished it was an apology, but could not be certain.
Elrond spoke quick but extensively to Glorfindel in Elvish. The tall Elf listened silently interrupting Elrond with questions only twice. When their conversation seemed done, Elrond explained: "Forgive our Elvish, Rin. I needed to make sure Lord Glorfindel did not miss any information on the topic. There are not many Elves in Middle Earth of old, but Lord Glorfindel is one of them and his knowledge and council is imperative in this discussion."
"Elrond, mellon, I will only participate in this discussion if you refrain from the title of Lord, it makes me feel too old and dignified. We are amongst friends here. Let us be informal."
"As you wish."
He smiled at Rin, his dazzling radiant smile, and she could not help but blush and smile back. The sunlight caressed his golden locks from the open window behind him, giving him an angelic look. Sitting so close to him in daylight she was mesmerized by the details of his face, the finely chiseled facial features, his sharp nose, high cheekbones, thin lips and sharp eyebrows. His cornflower blue eyes seemed to radiate light, making the blue almost unnatural. His skin was smooth, only subtle fine lines etched along his eyes and the corners of his mouth, complementing his features instead of making him look older. How could a being be alive for such a long time and still look so good?
With a start she realised she was staring at him. She could almost feel the twins' irritation growing and a quick glance told her they were jealous again. Instead of being irritated she felt flattered by it this time. "Forgive me for staring please. It is just… I know that you all are old. But I cannot understand how it can be possible that your bodies look so well after so many years."
Elladan's features softened somewhat at her explanation for staring and he said: "We seem similar to mortals Rin, but we are very different beings, physical but also spiritually. When we reach adulthood, our appearance changes ever so slowly. It is not a process that a mortal can notice, since it is such a lengthy process. But you are right, you seem like a child to us, while for a mortal you are an adult already."
"At what age do Elves reach adulthood?"
"Our physical form reaches adulthood when we are fifty years of age. But only when we reach hundred years, we are to be called an adult."
She blinked. A hundred years old? She was only 27 years! How must they see her then, as an underage Elf? Was this the reason for their reluctance into admitting their attraction to her? She felt a blush reaching her cheeks and could not look them in the eyes.
"I am twenty-seven years old."
She chanced a look at the twins. Elrohir stared at her with a strange look in his eyes that she could not decipher. Then he said with a sly smile: "I am two thousand, eight hundred and two years old." She gaped.
Elladan said calmly: "I think you mean and three, brother. And do not fear that we think you a child, Rin. As said, mortals are very different beings, and you are considered an adult in the mortal world. We have treated you as such, have we not?"
She tried to wrap her mind around their age, but it was impossible. Almost three thousand years old? And she was only twenty seven! How could they treat her with so much respect when she lacked experience and knowledge to an insane degree compared to them? Their fight in the forest when they questioned her judgement of a dangerous situation on her own, made more sense now.
Thankfully lunch was a good distraction. The food was simple. Some freshly baked heavy bread, dried fruit, nuts, cheese, honey and clear refreshing water. They ate in silence and when the first taste hit her tongue she realised that she had been starving. After some time, the conversation returned to the ring.
"What to decide now on this precarious matter? Too much knowledge and the right path might be taken off track, by our own folly. But how can we be certain that Rin's arrival here and the intervention in the things that have come to pass isn't imperative to this turn of events?" It was Elladan that spoke thoughtfully.
Glorfindel cocked his head to the side. "Rin, does the story of the ring has a positive ending?"
"What do you mean by positive?"
Elrond smiled. "You are asking a legitimate and wise question, dear Rin. Indeed, what is positive. I think we can all agree that the ring cannot fall into the wrong hands. It is my belief that Middle Earth can only survive when it is destroyed in the fires that made it."
She sighed in relief for this answer. "Then, yes, it has a positive ending."
Elrond leaned back in his chair with his eyes closed, letting out a long breath. When he opened his eyes again he said gravely: "I trust this knowledge will not, in any form, leave this room".
He stared at all of them for several seconds in their eyes, his face grave, eyes level, a frown on his forehead. When he was satisfied, he spoke: "We must take a leap now, a leap in the dark. We have no way to be certain which path to take."
They all fell silent. Then Glorfindel said: "I feel that the arrival of Rin in Middle Earth has some kind of purpose other than to capture the hearts of young Ellons." He glanced at the twins over the rim of his wine glass, eyes twinkling.
Rin felt the blush hit her cheeks instantly. She did not dare look at her companions at the table. She dreaded the reaction of the twins and their father for that matter.
"Watch your tongue, slayer. Do not taunt us." Elrohir growled.
"Leave me my small pleasures, elflings." His eyes held mirth and he took another sip of his wine. But then his face grew serious. "Let us put petty emotions aside and focus on the task at hand, for we have a duty to care for the well-being of this world. I feel that Rin's presence is announcing a shift in a long-lived status quo. This is the beginning of the end for our kind." He stared at Elrond. "You feel it too, mellon?"
"Indeed. It has been pressing on my mind for some time now. We have grown weary. The age of Elves is coming to an end. We will have no part in this story, but we can monitor its process and see to it that evil will be conquered, after which our powers will diminish."
Elladan said irritably: "Our time in Middle Earth has not pressed on us yet, father. We have no interest in being passive onlookers. We will fight the enemy as long as we have breath."
Elrohir added: "But to understand the things that will come to pass, to monitor instead of act, we need some knowledge of how the ring will be found, so we can watch the signs around us with better precision." He looked at Rin seriously, making her forget the earlier embarrassment.
She swallowed. "What would you have me say?"
"I believe my brother means, that we need to know who will find the ring or plays a crucial part in the events that will need to take place." Elladan said.
Elrond and Glorfindel shared a long look and then a moment of understanding seemed to pass between them.
"Only a name linked closely to this realm, no mention of deeds would be best, Rin" Elrond added.
She hesitated. She would step onto a path that could not be undone. The Elves around her watched her like birds of prey. Or was it her imagination? A faint surge of panic started in her chest.
Then she became aware of Elrohir underneath the table. He was not touching her exactly, but she could feel him shifting his leg to be alongside hers. She could feel his body heat. When she glanced at him, he gave her a serious look, nodding almost invisibly. She felt courage flooding her veins and took a deep breath letting all characters flip through her mind.
"There is one that is supposed to reside in Rivendell. His name is Aragorn and he is of noble blood." She held her breath, expecting something dreadful to happen, but she was only met with silence.
Then Elrond said softly: "There is no such mortal living in Rivendell by that name. We seem to be ahead of events."
Elrohir added: "His name sounds Northern, but is unknown to me."
Elladan looked questioningly: "Do you know his father's name?"
"All I remember is that he is a Ranger from the North, his father has a name that sounds the same."
The brothers shared a look, but did not react. What did they know? They did not share and she did not press them.
She realised that she was ahead of events. Aragorn might not be born yet. Suddenly she felt a cold sweat erupting from her skin. That meant that Elrond was still part of the White Council, trusting Saruman. He should be warned!
"I must warn you, Lord Elrond, about another. We seem to be ahead of events, I am not sure how far. This means that you have important knowledge that must not be disclosed to the Enemy. You cannot trust one in particular."
The four Elves looked startled. They were alert and sitting inhumanly still, bodies poised. It reminded her of dogs when they listened, as if they turned on an extra sense. She blurted out without giving it any more thought. "Saruman, do not tell Saruman of this! He will betray you all."
Glorfindel leaned back in his chair baffled, the twins gasped in surprise, Elrond just stared at her, leaning on the table. Then after refraining to show emotion of any kind he closed his eyes, leaning backwards in his chair, tension leaving his body. When he opened them he looked at her and smiled. "Thank you Rin, for your sharing your insight. Long has Saruman been an ally, but Mithrandir has been suspicious as of late. His suspicions can now be taken seriously."
He smiled again. "This is enough for now Rin. I think the name of this Aragorn will gain us an advantage. We will be alert for such an event. I believe Middle Earth to be in your debt, for possibly the greatest trial of the Third Age will now come at least announced for those who know how to read the signs. I wish for you to linger a few more days in Rivendell before you make other plans with my sons."
He looked at them sharply, even as the twins' faces darkened at his words. "I need time to let the information seep into my mind. It is possible that I will be in need of more information coming days. I wish to call upon you, may the need arise."
She nodded in agreement and they all stood as one. They walked slowly into the crisp outside air. She felt relieved that this part of her visit to Rivendell was over. And now what?
She stole a quick glance at the twins. They were disturbed, talking rapidly with their father in hushed voices, not sparing a glance at her. Elrond had already bid her goodbye.
Being ignored by the twins hurt and angered her. She sighed deeply and then decided that she had enough of them for now. Without wasting words on them, she turned to leave.
Glorfindel stopped her.
"Rin, there is somebody that I would like you to meet this afternoon. Will you walk with me?"
She looked at him puzzled. Somebody to meet? She nodded and followed him, filled with curiosity.
He led her back to the training grounds, where Elves were still sparring with each other. They waited patiently, watching the fighters, until after a while, one Elf stopped fighting, greeted his opponent and sheathed his sword while wiping his brow with the sleeve of his tunic. He nodded at Glorfindel, his eyes flicked momentarily to Rin and then he started to walk towards them.
His hair was brown with a chestnut hue, and like all Elves it was braided in style, showing a fair oval face with dark eyebrows and chocolate brown eyes. A large scar ran from his forehead over his right eye socket towards his chin. His tunic was of a coarse-looking natural looking material, underneath he wore brown pants tucked into easy boots, worn down from many travels.
He approached them with a polite smile on his face, watching from one to the other. He bowed at them both in greeting. "My Lord Glorfindel, Lady Rin, it is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Tessarion and I am the Captain of the Guard of Rivendell."
She could not help but smile at him and bowed in turn. "It is nice to meet you, Captain Tessarion. I am surprised you know of me."
"Of course I know about the Lady that almost bested Lord Glorfindel with her sword! It is because of this, I requested a meeting with you."
She felt herself flush and did not dare look into his eyes after receiving such a compliment. She looked at Glorfindel for support. He nodded ever so slightly.
Facing him despite her burning cheeks she said: "I think you overestimate my capabilities gravely! And those of my opponent! But how can I be of service, Captain Tessarion?"
"I have watched your fight this morning and was surprised by your skill. I have not seen the likes of your style in Middle Earth. Allow me to invite you for a trial period serving in the Guard under my lead? You would honor me and my men to share your skill and expertise in defense of this realm."
She vaguely noticed some Elves ceasing their fights, listening in and she blushed even further at his high praise. She felt like she was filled with bubbly champagne. What an honor this was! Suddenly a myriad of possibilities was laid bare for her in Middle Earth. In Japan her sword was no means to make a living, but here! Here she could use her skill for killing to aid others, to protect something dear. It felt unbelievable.
Still she hesitated, thinking of the twins. She wanted to make peace with them and make plans with them. But at this moment, Tessarion's offer seemed a nice distraction from their fight, it opened possibilities. A way to be less dependent on them.
But suddenly she felt apprehensive. This was no mere trip with the twins. This was a group of seasoned warriors that took its responsibilities very seriously. Was she ready for such a commitment? She had not felt nor wanted any responsibility in life. Not after her sister died. That part of her was long gone, she felt incapable of responsibility. She would pretend, like she always did. Pretend to be normal. Pretend to be whole. She would blend in, follow their lead and kill when they ordered her.
A sliver of doubt entered her brain: what if she lost herself to her bloodlust? She was not sure if she could close the door that she opened with the twins. It was a strange idea that her new found purpose and acceptance of herself, should be hidden from others. She felt accepted and encouraged by the twins, but she knew it was not normal behaviour. Kami, those twins were not normal! Would she be able to hide in plain sight from the Guard? She was not certain.
Tessarion seemed to sense her hesitance. "Forgive me for my straightforwardness My Lady. It is a quality that causes me trouble often in this realm, but I seem to be unable to rectify my ways. Alas! My peers think me an Elfling asking these direct questions!" He smiled mockingly, causing her to laugh.
"And are you? An Elfling?"
"Nay, My Lady. I fear not. Only my character is to blame." he winked at her.
From the corner of her eye she saw Glorfindel rolling his, towards the sky.
"Well, Tessarion, do not apologize, I find it refreshing to meet an Elf that asks blunt questions. You surprised me that is all. I would like to ride with you a few times to experience those duties, under your tutelage. I cannot make promises that I will partake indefinitely. You must have heard, that I arrived with friends here and I do not know what the future entails."
"Indeed, we have heard the brothers accompanying you to Rivendell. Their companionship can be fickle and their ways uncertain." He grinned at her. "But this is more than I hoped for, My Lady. It will be my pleasure to guide you. Lord Glorfindel will show you to your horse. We will leave tomorrow evening under cover of the moonless night."
"A horse!" she could not help but grin. "And I am no Lady. Please call me Rin."
He nodded at her, tasting her name in his mouth. "Rin…"
She bowed. "Thank you for the invitation, Taichou-sama."
"Taichou-sama?"
"Honourable Captain."
His smile disappeared and he inclined his head with dignity, accepting her respect. And Rin realized that despite his youthful appearance and joking manner, this was a highly skilled and experienced warrior, leader of many loyal Elves. She should not underestimate him in any way.
While walking towards the stables, Glorfindel supported her suspicion. "Do not underestimate Lord Tessarion, Rin. His loose manner hides his skills as a leader and a warrior. He is one of the High Elves that reside here in this realm. He is a harsh teacher, have no doubt. But you will be in capable hands nevertheless while being on patrol."
In the stables a beautiful black horse stood waiting for her patiently it seemed. Its large eyes with long lashes taking her in quietly. In amazement she put her hand on its neck, feeling the life flowing through its veins. A deep feeling of joy took her and she grinned towards Glorfindel, who smiled broadly back at her.
"His name is Bethril. Isn't he magnificent?"
She nodded breathlessly.
"Bethril?"
"It means trampler."
"That sounds promising."
Glorfindel raised an eyebrow at her. Then he calmly explained to her how to saddle him and care for him after riding.
"Lord Tessarion asked the stable master to supply the saddlebags with the necessary."
She blinked at him and then checked the saddlebags. She saw dried food, means to make fire, medical herbs, a needle and bandages, a small pan, and a knife. She nodded appreciatively.
"He has ordered some addition to your attire as well, to protect against wounds and aid you in hunting. Those items will not be finished ere you depart tomorrow, since they take time in making. One of the guards is looking for protective clothing in the armory as we speak. He will find something for you to use for the time being."
She was distracted by the energy that she felt underneath her hand, when she touched its neck. Instantly, she was staring at the magnificent horse in awe, barely registering what Glorfindel said to her. Its energy, powerful stature and attentive attitude, made her feel confident that they would get along just fine. She caressed its neck lovingly, whispering soft encouraging words in Japanese. Glorfindel stared at the interaction fascinated, his blue eyes twinkling with curiosity.
At last he cleared his throat. "Well, are you ready?"
"Ready?"
"To go for a ride?"
She nodded with vigour. Happiness was bubbling up inside of her at the prospect of riding this horse together with Glorfindel. And if she was honest with herself, it would be very helpful indeed to have an experienced rider teach her how to take care of her new companion. She could retain freedom with this knowledge and she was eager to absorb all that he knew.
When they rode out of Rivendell, the wind catching her hair, she felt liberated, her fight with Elladan soon receding to the back of her mind. There was only the sun and wind in her face, the warmth of Bethril between her legs, the cadence of his movements that alerted her body into an adrenaline induced state.
She could not explain it, but she felt a connection with this animal. A connection that she did not feel with Mitroch nor with Suldal. The horse seemed to sense her mood or thoughts even. It made her feel calm and accepting and she let herself be rocked and moved by the horse, enjoying the loss of control.
She had thought it necessary to direct him, but she noticed soon that Bethril had other ideas on the route to take. Giving him controlled freedom, he returned the favor by being attuned to her wishes and even sharing them. Soon she felt that a subtle movement or hint was sufficient to made Bethril pelting downhill at thundering speed, or slow down in an easy trot. The connection made her feel excited and high on adrenaline.
Glorfindel noticed her progress and connection with the beast with great interest. He had not known what to expect from this mortal. She fascinated him to no end. Their spar had been an exhilaration to his ancient mind. He found her refreshing and unlike any mortal he encountered. She proved to be resourceful, inventive, strong, fearless and intelligent. That she would be a natural rider fit in the image that he had built of her in his mind. But to see the bond of horse and rider growing in front of his eyes was almost unbelievable. But the evidence was there.
Absently he stroked Asfaloth, who shot him a suspicious glance by rolling his eyes. Glorfindel sighed. Rin's encounter with the twins was not mere chance. Every minute he spent with her, he felt more certain that she had a purpose here. If only the twins stopped being stubborn, ceased to let themselves be haunted by fear and guilt.
Rin was not aware of Glorfindel's musings. She felt on top of the world. And soon the rest of the day was spend in happy chatter, the wind in their hair, the horses energetic, the sun hidden behind clouds now and then. Glorfindel, she noticed, taught her subtly, a great deal more than she expected. How to sit, how to dry Bethril's skin, how to feel his energy, how to talk with him. She felt greatly disappointed when the stables came into sight once more.
"Thank you for lending me this horse." She said, while staring up at Bethril, her legs still wobbly from the afternoon ride.
Behind her Glorfindel sounded confused. "Lend? I did not lend it to you. Consider this a gift. A gift for one that has managed to surprise me."
She turned around to look at him.
He smiled. "'Not an easy feat." The subtle lines around his eyes crinkled as his eyes twinkled in merriment.
She gaped at him, the message not quite sinking in. A gift? "I… I don't know what to say?"
"Do not say anything. Just enjoy Bethril's company when you have it. I dare say you have gained a companion and protector for life."
Without thinking she approached him and hugged him tightly. "Arigatou gozaimasu, Glorfindel-sama." She felt her throat constricting, but managed to keep her eyes dry. She felt Glorfindel stiffen in surprise, not expecting her show of physical affection nor her Japanese words of thanks that he could not understand but could well guess at. After a slight pause, she felt his arms wrap around her, returning her hug. Inhaling his strong masculine scent that reminded her of the forests around Rivendell, she could not help but smile.
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Reluctant she followed Glorfindel back towards her quarters, where he stopped to say goodbye.
"Glorfindel?"
He watched her steadily, waiting for her to continue.
"Yes, dear Rin?"
"Are you my friend?'
"I aspire to be so." he smiled.
"Thank you for lightening my mood when I need it most."
He frowned. "It is such action that is required of a friend, is it not? It is no trouble and my pleasure to lighten your mood, as you call it. But let me tell you as a friend, do not let the twins bother you. No matter what happens, these are all necessary and sometimes painful steps towards towards a better understanding. Just bear with it a little longer and do not let your heart be troubled." And with that he left her to her thoughts.