Lilia had sneakily brought me a letter from Roxy. She had thought I would want to hear what Roxy had to say before either Paul or Zenith had found it and burned it.

I haven't heard anything from Roxy for a long time, not since the incident.

I read the letter and what it said was that how sorry she was it turned out the way it did and wished it turned out differently. It also said how she should've trained me properly on how to control my mana.

There is nothing said that I was the cause of it. She probably thought someone else might have read it before I did. Lilia is sitting next to me and reading it with me. It was probably a good thing Roxy didn't mention it.

It also said that despite all that, she bestowed me the title of Water Saint Magician, saying I learned enough from water magic to do so. She also said if I wished to go to the Magic University, I would send her a letter and she'll write a recommendation letter. She currently resides in the Kingdom of Shirone. She is teaching a young prince there who isn't as talented as me.

I continued reading, if I needed anything, if I still needed her help, I could send another letter at her current location.

That was the end of the letter.

I burned the letter in my hands to get rid of any trace of Roxy's contact.

"Lilia, can you get me some ink, paper, and a quill? I seem to have misplaced it somewhere."

She didn't say anything before standing up. She went to the before stopping at the door.

"Do you plan on taking Roxy's offer to accept the letter?"

I remain silent for a moment before speaking up, "do as you're told Lilia."

She still stayed there, "would the Lady and Master really let their son go to a school far away from them?"

"I won't ask again."

She went silent again before leaving.

If this is an opportunity to go somewhere new, I'll take it. I actually didn't think where I would go if I left.

Lilia came back with the items I requested and left immediately right after.

I began my letter to Roxy, I said that I will take her offer to go to the Magic University and that if she could send that recommendation to the school if she planned on sending in to me instead.

I wrote that with the intent of leaving right away. The question is how long would it take for the letter to reach her and for her to respond back. Would she have done what I asked and sent the recommendation to the school? If I travel there for a few months, would I be ahead of said recommendation and the school said no? There were so many possibilities, I couldn't wrap my head around it. How would I even get there? There is a travel system here I could take, but that could only take me so far. I would hop on to another carriage, then another… that'll cost money. I thought about stealing some from Paul's fortune that he is hiding here. But he would likely notice some missing contents if I took it now.

There's just so much to think about.

Then there was the fact of what Lilia said to me. Would they let me leave if I wanted to. I haven't exactly been a good son. I stopped sword training with Paul completely after the meeting, saying I no longer wished to learn more.

He's probably really disappointed with me, but wouldn't it be an opportunity for me to go learn my potential in magic. He would definitely send me off if that was the case… or if he really wanted to get rid of me since I am a disappointment.

Zenith was another thing. She would think this was a great chance for me to develop. Even if Paul refuses, Zenith will make him change his mind. We haven't been close either, so it'll be easier for her to let me go.

Would she let me go too?

Then something came to me.

I made plans to leave in a year or two. But what is my actual plan? Before the idea of going to school? I had nowhere to go if I left. I guess my thought was I would be an adventurer but, I'm still a child. I could hardly survive with this body's limits. Would they even accept a child as an adventurer anyway? If I did go to school, how would I get there unscathed? I know, would need to bring in a lot of food with me or buy some on the way if we stopped anywhere. Would there be bandits or monsters or…

All that thinking gave me a headache.

For now, before finishing the rest of the letter, I decided to burn its contents. I would need to think more about my plans before I can commit. I would need to be patient and wait for a better time to. I'm jumping the gun already, I can't afford to be careless.

I guess leaving here for a while has made me a bit stressed. It's making me impatient… it's like I feel trapped… when there is a chance for me to leave, it gets farther away.

I need some rest.

I went to bed, head still filled with needless thoughts.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I was sitting on a park bench with a woman next to me.

"How do you feel?" She said.

"About what Nee-san?"

"Living on your own, or are you and Re-chan staying together?"

"No no… me and Re will be putting that on hold for now until she finds a job for now. She'll continue living with her Aunt."

"But… wouldn't you be able to take her in? You have a well paying job plus the money grandma has given you."

"Yeah… but she said she doesn't want to be a burden on me, even though she really wouldn't."

My sister thought for a moment, "well… I guess I understand that somewhat. Me and Daisuke were like that a long time ago." She looked sad when she mentioned him.

"You… haven't heard from him?"

She shook her head.

"Bastard."

She giggled, "he really is, leaving me and his children behind. He really is such a bastard."

"How are you and the little brats? Are you managing?"

"We're fine, grandmother left us with a sizable share from her will. We'll survive for a good while, and my job is paying well, I just wish I wouldn't have to leave the kids alone when I work."

"Nii-san is not helping you?"

"He has his own issues, and he has a family as well. Plus with young Haru still living with him, he's got his hands full."

"I see… I could watch them if you want."

She turned her head to me, "I thought you weren't a fan of children."

"Well… your kids are alright. I wouldn't mind watching them."

"But… don't you have work?"

"I work in the mornings and get off just when their time at school ends. You work nights, by then, I would've put them to bed."

She thought for a moment, "it wouldn't be a bother?"

"No Nee-san."

She thought once more, "then… until I get my hours changed, please take care of them. Thank you little brother.

I smiled, "of course… we're family."

She smiled too, "we are."

We continue sitting, enjoying the spring breeze.

"Shi-chan?"

"Mm?"

"You have a portion of grandma's fortune, make sure you use it wisely."

"I know…?"

"Just because you're living on your own, doesn't mean you can do whatever you want."

I was confused with this lecture. I heard it before and wondered why she was telling me this.

"Okay?"

"It'll be hard out there, but be sure to be respectful and responsible."

"Sure?"

She looked at me with seriousness.

"I will Nanako… I'll be wise with my choices, I promise."

She smiled warmly, "good."

I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, but I'll be sure not to make stupid mistakes. Nanako would always remind me to be respectful and responsible, those were her favorite words.

I just need to be respectful and responsible.

Right?

I continued living the way I am for now. I told Lilia that I wouldn't be sending a letter just yet. She smiled when she heard that and went on with her duties.

There really is not much to do, except help take care of the girls or do some chores. I would go out every now and then and hone my magic. At first, I thought I would be satisfied just knowing the spells. But if I wanted to go on my own, I need to be sure I can use them right. So I've been honing my spells to the point where they are likely to hit very hard and do serious damage rather than just simply hurting someone.

For example, I can make one small stone bullet that just bruises an enemy, to a small compacting little rock that tore a hole into someone with so much force that it looked like an actual cannon shot through.

I've never tested on a living person nor a creature… just some big trees far enough away from the village, but not too far in where I would encounter beast monsters.

I gotta be prepared for danger.

There is also the matter of healing magic but I don't know how to advance further. I thought about maybe hurting myself to see if I could progress it my way but threw that thought away. I was afraid I might damage something that was beyond Intermediate Healing magic capabilities. So I hold off on practicing healing magic for now.

And I didn't want to admit it but… I've been practicing my swordsmanship. It may seem pointless but, if I hone just the Intermediate skill like magic, I can make it stronger. So I use the technique Paul taught me and practice it. Of course, I never felt like I changed anything. It feels like I can't improve it but, I felt myself getting a bit faster… for a child. This could be a few years long process but, I'll manage. That was for Sword and North God Style, as for Water God Style, I've improved somewhat with countering. Paul was pretty vague with his teachings but Lilia helped him get better at it.

Even though she couldn't exactly show me how it's done, she explained it to me in detail. Going step by step on how to properly counter an opponent with minimal effort, how to side step just right to avoid a single sword strike, and how to counter and strike an opponent in one quick move with minimal power.

I have to thank Lilia… somehow.

How I did this without a training dummy is actually because of Sylph. Because… he was my training dummy. I needed something that would hit me or simulate a sword attack. So I asked Sylph if he could help me by throwing magic at me to make it seem like a sword was coming at me. It's hard to explain how we made it work but… it works… somehow. He was eagerly happy to help me with my training, so he did everything I asked.

I guess having an attached friend is good once in a while.

It would be best to train with Paul again but I didn't want to rely on him anymore.

I'm glad I have a good memory of what he was trying to teach me.

I also plan my way out a bit more, making sure I actually do have a plan. Turns out, I need to be a bit older if I'm capable of setting on my own. It was the safest option I could think of. With how much limits this body has, I can't risk setting out just now. Maybe at age ten, I could leave.

After that, I will take some money and be on my way.

But I still like to find a chance to leave sooner, I'll keep looking.

I've been doing this for two years… I've turned eight, I was six when Aisha and Norn were born.

"As you see Norn, I can move these little fireflies like this." I said as I waved my finger around, moving these three fire bulbs in the air. I held Norn in my arms, she was reaching out to the light.

"Eh… eh… ah…" she tried catching one.

"Careful Norn, it could sting you." I said as I made the fireflies disappear, leaving small sparks behind.

"Oooo…" Norn looked at it with awe.

"Alright, time to head inside. It's dark out, you ready?"

"Mhm!" She smiled happily.

I carried her with me into the house.

"Hello." We went into the big room.

"Hello Rudeus, Norn." Said Lilia.

"Hey you two." Zenith said before walking up to me. She reached out to Norn and I held her to her mother. Now Zenith was carrying her. "How are you two? What did you guys do?"

"BB sow me magic." Norn said, raising her hands up.

BB is a nickname Norn gave me when I was teaching her to say words. I kept saying I was her big brother, but she couldn't quite say it so she called me BB instead… which felt a little weird but it is what it is.

"Did he now? It must've been pretty."

"It ish!" Norn smiled with joy.

Zenith laughed with joy.

Over the next two years, she has somewhat moved on from the cheating incident. She may forgive but she'll never forget. She focused her energy on her gardening, her job at the clinic, and raising Norn.

With Lilia, she is still a little bit of the same but now she does her work with pride. She's been working hard for Zenith and me while raising Aisha up. Speaking of Aisha, Lilia has been teaching her to speak more, but more… often I would say in her first year. Instead of just I don't know, playing with her like any mother should. Lilia has made Aisha walk and speak more. It's good for a child to learn something like that but I feel like she should be a child more than just studying early in her life. So I talked with Lilia about how she should be raising Aisha, and said she should be a child first and treat her like a daughter more.

I was surprised when she listened to my request. So she put the studying down for now and raised her properly.

I felt something crawl on my back before something wrapped their arms around my neck and rested their chin on my shoulder.

"Rudy, can you show me magic too?" Aisha said.

With Lilia teaching her early, Aisha has been able to walk and speak somewhat more properly than Norn has.

"Another time Aisha, I'll show you later." I said as I patted her head.

She made a gloomy expression, "you promise?"

"Yes."

She went back to being happy, "yay!"

She hopped off my back and ran to Lilia, "mommy mommy! Big brother is gonna show me magic!"

Lilia picked her up, "that's wonderful dear."

It still amazes me that a two year old could develop that quickly.

It seems unnatural to me, she should be at least moving around a lot at age four or five.

"Is Paul not back yet?" I asked.

"No dear, remember he'll be out for a few days to meet a noble about how the village was handling. There have been sights of bandits and magical beasts lurking around so he'll have to patrol around the area too. It'll be a long time until we see him ." Zenith said.

Paul and Zenith's relationship is back together in a way. I mean, Zenith has allowed him to sleep in the same room as her but they no longer sleep with one another together. He doesn't sleep with Lilia, that was just a one time thing. It's unknown if he's doing it with someone outside of home, but when he comes back he doesn't reek of another woman so he's safe for now.

"Dinner should be ready. Rudeus, can you set the table please?" Lilia said.

"Of course." I went ahead and did what she asked.

Me and Lilia's relationship has somewhat returned. We don't go back to our usual relationship but we're on speaking terms. Since I spend time with Aisha and she's always with her mother, Lilia and I got to put things together. I didn't care what she called me now, Rudy or Rudeus was fine. I've started asking her if she could put me to sleep. It seems childish for someone like me, but it was to keep those dreams at bay. Her touch just has something to make them quiet. When she's not there, they'll come back.

She was more than happy to do it, she wouldn't make a fuss. Of course Paul and Zenith didn't think it was a good idea to keep being so reliant on Lilia, she insisted that her company made him sleep better. Zenith tried taking her place but when the dreams kept coming, I insisted that Lilia should do it. After much talking, they reluctantly agreed that it was okay for now.

Me and Paul well… it's compacted. He and I are like strangers, or I treat him as one. We just have an understanding between us, I have my things and he has his. Same with me and Zenith except we're more… friends? It's a bit of a stretch but we do talk and I helped her with some of her gardening, and helped take care of Norn so we spend quite a bit together. That made us closer somewhat.

Once the table was set, we started our dinner. I sat next to Norn, feeding bits of food to her while I ate mine. Lilia and Aisha sat together, Lilia feeding her. Zenith sat at the center at the end of the table, close to Norn. We ate normally, talking about our day and such. Once we were done, we cleaned up and took a bath. The ladies and the girls were in the other room of course. I was in my own room, just sitting in the wash bin. I was thinking about the letter I've sent to Roxy.

After much thinking and fixing my plan, I have decided to send a letter to Roxy. I would accept the recommendation and that I will travel there soon. That was a while ago, and recently, Lilia brought me a package with a book inside. It was a book about the Demon Language and how to learn its contents. There was also a note that said; "you might need it, use it well." I was confused with the gift because I had no plan for going to the Demon Continent. But just in case, I did study the book secretly since Paul and Zenith didn't know I had this. With my knowledge of learning languages and with Roxy's tips, I was able to learn the language quicker.

I did find a book of the Beastmen Language when a merchant caravan visited the village. I bought it with my allowance I was given doing chores. Once I read it's contents, it was more difficult to understand it. Luckily, a traveling bard came into town and taught me the language. She was a strange woman, singing while talking, telling strange stories. She even gets all feeling up with me, which was uncomfortable. She taught me what she knows and left.

So now I know two languages, well five. English, Japanese, Human, Beastmen, and Demon tongue. But two of them are useless here.

I learn a lot of things in order to prepare myself to leave, which would be soon. I have my backpack and satchel ready, plus the other items. There is a caravan in the village right now that is staying for a few days. I talked with the merchant running it, he said they may leave in the night as they have an appointment the morning after in a different place. Once he thinks the danger has died down, he will leave right away. I'll go once everyone is asleep, and hopped in the caravan.

It'll be quite sad for me to leave, especially Norn and Aisha. They seem to grown quite fond of me. I admit, I've grown fond of them too. It was… enjoyable playing with them. Paul and Zenith will be mad… very mad. I'm not sure they'll understand why I did it but, in time… I hope they will. Then there was Lilia… I… I…

I got out of the bath, I drained the water by turning it into a ball and making it small, then disappearing. I set the wash bin to the corner of the room. I changed into my pajamas and went to bed.

I don't know about Lilia. I… would she…

I wasn't sure what I was feeling. My feelings for her were complicated. I feel like I would miss her… then not miss her. I still feel hurt for what she did, I really can't stay mad at her because it was her duties as a maid. I don't know much about this world's views, so I have to assume it was normal. But when she said her feelings for me were genuine, it set my heart and mind in a spiral.

I wasn't sure anymore.

Then a light knock came from the door and Lilia went in. "I'm here Rudeus."

I sat up, "hey Lilia."

She went to my bed and sat next to me.

"Are you ready for bed?"

"Not yet… I like to sit for a bit."

"Of course."

So we sat in silence, not speaking a word before I ended up opening my mouth.

"How are the girls?"

"They are fine, both of them wanted to sleep with you but they fell asleep themselves after taking a bath. Me and Zenith put them to bed."

"I see… how is… mother?"

Lilia looked surprised with what I said but continued, "she is well I believe. She seems to be in high spirits."

"That's good… how about you Lilia? How are you?"

She smiled, "I am very well Rudeus, much as I have been."

"That's great."

We sat in silence once more until…

"Lilia…"

"Yes?"

I thought for a moment then opened my mouth, "how would you feel if… I left right away?"

She didn't respond right away, except to stare at me.

"I would be very… sad. But if that is what you wish, I'll be fine." She answered.

I wonder…

"What If I came back… for you… like we talked before."

Again, she went quiet for a minute before speaking up.

"I… I would say that you shouldn't."

"Why?"

"Because I'm no longer fit to go with you anymore. I am… tainted… it's just better if you find someone else."

"What if I don't want anyone else?"

"You shouldn't say that… there will be someone… just… be patient. They'll come to you."

"You have any ideas who?"

"Well… if you still feel a bit that way for me, maybe someone… like me."

I mean… you're are someone like you.

"So no one because you're one of a kind."

She smiled, "I'm sure there is someone like me who can make you happy then I did. They might even be close by."

"I doubt it, no one can take your place. I think I won't find anyone. It's too complicated anyways."

She frowned a bit, "that's no good Rudeus, you'll end up alone for your whole life if you do."

"Maybe that's what I want. Maybe I want to be alone, not have to deal with people and their drama. I rather secluded myself than go through that."

Lilia's expression turned sad when I said that; "I want you to be happy Rudy… seeing you unhappy and unfulfilled would break my heart."

Then I felt a small ting in my heart. Seeing Lilia sad didn't sit right with me.

Why now? What's going on with me?

"Why are you saying these things? Are you planning on leaving Rudy?" Her eyes began to water.

My heart was beating fast.

"I… I…"

"Rudy couldn't you just wait until you turn twelve?" She began to wipe away her tears with the sleeve of her nightgown.

"Why twelve?"

"Because that's when Paul will think you're grown up, and you can leave here if you wish."

I was confused, "I could leave at that time?"

She nodded, "yes."

That does sound great but…

"I… I wanna leave now."

"May I ask why?"

I was hesitant but I opened my mouth, "I have nothing here… there's nothing for me here. I can't stand this feeling of being trapped here. I don't think I can stand another four years."

"Rudy…"

There really is nothing for me here. I'm hardly close with my parents, Sylph, and Lilia especially. Me and the girls seem close, but later on, they'll grow out of it. Not to mention that I'm reminded every time I walk into a village and see other villagers look depressed, I'm reminded of the storm I caused… I'm reminded of the deaths I created.

Then suddenly, Lilia hugged me.

"You do have something Rudy. You have Aisha and Norn here, you have your sisters."

"They'll grow out of it later on in life. It's not like I want to be close with them either."

"That's not true, I've seen the way you are with them. You look so happy, more happy than you ever have been."

Was I really that happy? I hardly noticed.

"If you do leave when you are twelve, they'll be waiting for their big brother to come back to tell them stories of your adventures. If you leave now, they'll feel heartbroken. They'll feel like you'll abandon them."

I felt an ache in my heart.

Do I really care for them to feel this way?

"It's best if you continue to stay here, so they can remember how kind and caring their brother is."

I remain silent.

"But if you truly feel trapped here… then I won't stop you."

She was about to let go before I hugged her back tightly.

"Rudy?"

I was having that feeling I had a long time ago. It wasn't for my sisters, but for…

"Would you be waiting for me too?

Why am I saying this?

Lilia didn't say anything for a bit before speaking again.

"I… I will always be here Rudy."

"So I can take you away?"

She was thinking, "I… can't be with you Rudy." She gently stroked my head.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not right for you… I'm tainted… you deserve someone better than me, someone perfect."

"I don't care for perfection… I just want you."

No more.

We remained quiet until Lilia once again broke that silence.

"I wish I could Rudy, believe me. But I'm not that good of a woman… you'll just be wasting your time on me."

"I still haven't given you my answer."

"What?"

"When I turned fithteen, I would give you my answer if I still feel that way. That's what you said right?

"I did but-"

"That is my promise to you… when I turn fithteen, I'll give you my answer. So… will you wait for me?"

Lilia was speechless that I brought up our promise from a long time ago.

I continued holding Lilia and she continued holding me too. No words were spoken that night. I ended up sleeping in Lilia's arms and woke up still in her arms. I guess she never left, this is the first time in so long that we slept together like this. It was early in the morning, she was laying next to me, holding me. I watched her for some time, engraving such a pretty sight in my memories.

I don't wish to forget.

So I decided to hold off on my trip to leave. It's just simply not a good time right now. So instead, I'll ask Paul straight up about me wanting to go to the Magic University. Apparently, Lilia said if I didn't show when I'm supposed to with the recommendation, it'll be put on hold. I have no idea how she knows that but it doesn't matter.

Paul may say no since I've been nothing but a nuisance to him for a long time. But if I explained that if I get recommended, I could go in for free, and that I'll be gone when I turn twelve. He might ask how I got this recommendation, I'll just come with a letter from Roxy as an apology. Hopefully he won't refuse it. If he does, I'll go back to my original plan and leave.

So I waited until he came home after a couple of days. Norn and Aisha were taking a nap together, me and the ladies heard a carriage outside the house pull up. We went outside to check it out. It was Paul by a big carriage, along with a tall, tan, muscular, cat eared woman next to him.

Oh wow! That's a beastmen? Or beast woman!

They were talking.

"She's not coming out Ghislaine… you may have to force her out."

The beast woman grumbled, "I will do just that." She was about to walk into the carriage when Zenith called out to her.

"Ghislaine? It's been a while, what are you doing here?"

This Ghislaine waved at her, "Hello Zenith, give me a sec." She said before going into the carriage.

Once she was inside, the carriage began to shake, and screaming like a wild dog could be heard. But it wasn't Ghislaine that was making that sound.

"I DON'T WANNA!"

"Yes… you will. Your father said so and I'm taking you out."

"NO!"

"Milady… please."

There was continuous fighting until a loud thud could be heard.

What the hell was that?

Ghislaine came out with a young girl with fiery red hair. She carried her in one arm and she was knocked out cold.

"Sorry about that, she gets like this when she's stressed."

"I know Ghislaine, she was throwing tantrums on the way here. I can still feel the pain in my chest." Paul said, rubbing his chest.

Both adults, along with the unconscious child, walked over to where we three were.

I was left speechless with what just happened.

Did they bring a dog here?

"Paul…"

"Yes Rudy?"

"What kind of mad dog did you bring?"

Paul smirked, "that's no dog… that's your cousin Eris and she'll be staying with us for a while, so is Ghislaine."

As it was in unison; me, Zenith, and Lilia opened our mouths.

"What?"