Warning: graphic stuff halfway the chapter...

CHAPTER 18 - When dusk was brooding on the northern horizon ….

When dusk was brooding on the northern horizon on the twelfth day of riding, the Elves halted and fell eerily silent, listening intently. Rin cocked her ears, intent on any divergent sound. But it was only the lack of sound that stood out: birds had stopped singing, the wind seemed to have disappeared, and behind this wall of silence, she heard nothing. She felt inadequate in her qualities, being a mortal. And again she was admiring the elves around her and their heightened senses, for the company had quietly re-assembled some time before, on purpose as it now seemed.

She remembered her conversation with Tessarion in the stables and she sought eye-contact with him to see what his orders would be. Tessarion, occupied with whatever was coming, gave her a stern look that told her to keep still.

She felt just like her first encounter with orcs, the tension in the air, the silence before a storm. Straining her eyes on the horizon, she heard and felt the elves around her starting to move. The hissing of metal swords being pulled from sheaths and the pulling of bow drawstrings. Alarmed, she stared at the change around her and noticed the disarray of warriors had disappeared and they moved in sync now, positioning themselves into a meticulate set up. And still she had neither seen nor heard a thing.

Raithon, next to her, seemed to notice her confusion and said softly: "Draw a line from my arrow with your eyes, Rin."

When she followed an imaginary line from his arrow towards the field of vision, she suddenly saw movement. A large mass of grey bodies toppled over the horizon, speeding towards them at an unnatural pace.

Tessarion had seen enough and gave the order to attack. She felt elated, she could finally channel her cropped up energy and tension into action. But Tessarion had other plans. The company separated automatically into two groups, one at the front and one behind and to her disappointment, he ordered her to the latter. Grumbling, she reined in Bethril until she was aligned with the others, glaring at the oblivious Tessarion who rode quickly to the front of the company.

With a silent gesture of his sword arm, he urged the company to dive forward over the grassy plains towards the orcs, like a wave approaching land. The feeling of power and force caused her heart to quicken and her senses heightened. Eagerly she unsheathed her katana.

It was a large group, at least three times the size of the Guard itself. And when Rin finally dove into their ranks, slicing an orc in its face, causing it to fall and scream in agony, she felt excitement burning in her veins. She forced Bethril to turn for another attempt, but Raithon, had already made quick work of the orc, beheading it with one swift clinical movement.

She turned just in time to notice another orc attempting to hurt Bethril, swinging a large axe. Cursing in anger, she urged Bethril to speed up to escape the range of the weapon. When safe, she turned sharply to get a better angle to charge back. Thundering towards it, she penetrated its eye socket with her blade with ease. Slowing abruptly to a standstill, forcing herself to hold onto the blade with all her strength, she watched the orc while it stood perplexed for a small moment. Then it wailed in pain. Smiling, she turned the blade slowly, making it squirm. Its arm, the axe still in it, swung aimlessly around.

Vaguely she noticed the fight was over already, almost before it really started. She pulled out her blade with one swift motion, only to penetrate his abdomen, where she repeated her treatment. He would die a slow and painful death and she felt her heart sing, growing by his suffering. The door inside her, creaked open a notch.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and a strong voice ordered: "Just kill it, Rin. Do not play with it."

The door closed shut within an instant. The bloodlust was gone, her rational mind washing it away and in confusion she stared at Tessarion. He did not hide his disgust at her conduct. She felt dizzy for a moment and then anger surged through her.

"You feel sorry for this filth?"

He stared at her, carefully hiding his emotions this time. "Filth? They have stepped on forbidden ground. Their punishment is death. Not torture. 'Tis no more than that. Stick to the purpose of the Guard."

She stared at him hard, trying to find the hidden meaning of his words, but he did not show emotion of any kind. Then, with one swift movement, she cut the orc's throat.

She gave Tessarion a cold stare. Then she kicked Bethril in the flanks, urging the horse away, angry with Tessarion and his Guard and angry with herself.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

That evening Rin found herself brooding over the afternoon's events. They had camped close to a lake, and the men took turns bathing. True to what the twins had told her, they seemed to lack a certain feel for modesty or decorum and she secretly feasted her eyes on all that male splendor. Only Tessarion seemed take her feelings into consideration. When he stood before her, his hair devoid of braids and a dark wet mess on his shoulders, he apologized. "My men have little dealings with mortals, Rin, they are unaware of cultural differences. I hope we have not offended you."

She gave him a small smile. "On the contrary." she replied, mindful that she was still angry at him although she felt it was thoughtful of him to consider her feelings. Although she was used to communal bathing, bathing as a lone female amongst a big group of male elves was not something she was comfortable with.

He raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to one side, as if trying to read her.

"Do you wish to bathe?"

She nodded with vigour.

"I will accompany you, Rin. We will go somewhat further, so you can bathe with privacy. I will stand guard."

"I don't need protection."

"Everybody needs protection, Rin. Only fools think they are invincible." He said with his jaw set.

She felt his remark being a sneer towards the irresponsible twins and she felt partially guilty for her statement.

"Fine. You stand watch then, Taichou-sama." She then remembered a question she wanted to ask. "Is it like this if there are female warriors?"

Tessarion shook his head slightly as they walked. "Male and female elves have no qualms bathing together. We are comfortable with nudity. We usually have one or two female warriors with us, but all were due for their rotation of leave at this time. Currently you are the only one, as you have noticed."

The moon shone brightly when they reached the water. She thought she could almost smell it, her body screamed for clear water to rinse off the dirt of the fight and the smell of sweat and horses.

Ignoring Tessarion's watchful presence she undressed, feeling the cold air tightening her body. She rinsed out her dirty clothes in the water first and laid them at the edge of the water on a set of small rocks to dry. She then dove into the black deepness, letting the icy waters envelop her body, cleansing it. When she broke through the surface, she gasped from the cold and quickly swam a few rounds to heat up her body.

Her thoughts wandered to the clash with Tessarion that afternoon. She had felt that he confronted her with the core of her very being and then dismissed it, dismissed her. The goal of the Guard was not distract oneself from pain, to feel alive, nor to seek risk or finding satisfaction in torturing enemies. She knew in that moment that the Guard was not for her. Tessarion and his men killed with a purpose and a noble one at that. Spending more time than necessary on the act of killing was a liability in a member of the Guard, one that could bring others in danger. She did not fit.

The previous days she felt herself drawn towards her Captain in ways she could not comprehend completely. There was a tenderness in him towards her that felt alien to her and she welcomed it. She had opened up to him, she dared call him her friend.

And now the distance between them felt as large as the first day they met. He had discovered her dirty secret, her dark desire and did not approve. He did not recognize her nor understood her. Not like the twins did. She knew. She knew now, the Guard was not her place. She should leave and find her own way in Middle Earth, in spite of her unlooked-for attraction to the captain.

Thinking about him, she chanced a look at the edge of the water. And sure enough, there he stood, keeping careful watch on her and the surroundings. His hair, the loose strands seemed to have dried partially. Without the braids his face became more gentle and less hard. He looked good with his hair down. He watched her with gentle warm eyes. And the memories of the past days swept through her mind's eye. His consideration at her feelings, their openhearted talk on the twins, her homeland, her feelings. The warmth of his body against hers during training. His acceptance of her gesture of affection that night on the boulder. And she knew she could not remain angry at him, there was a connection between them that went further than friendship and she valued it with all her heart. And with that thought, she felt her anger leaving her.

She dived back into the deep. And after some more time of swimming and getting warmed up, she decided to tease the Elf a tiny bit as punishment anyway. Remembering the smouldering look in his eyes when he taught her to adapt her footwork during fighting, she somehow felt that he would not reject her if she invited him for a kiss and more, as the twins did. Maybe she was on a rebound from the twins, but she didn't care. She wanted to feel something else right now, besides anger and sadness. And she felt a need to test the boundaries of the attraction they had for each other.

Swimming towards him through the water, she stood up calmly in the shallow part, letting the water slide of her skin. Making eye contact with Tessarion, she stretched out her arms above her head and squeezed water from her hair, offering him a complete and unhurried view of her nakedness. Then she stalked slowly and deliberately towards him.

She saw his eyes glittering in the starlight, his body poised, a great stillness took hold of him while his eyes roamed her body. Closing the distance, she stopped in front of him, feeling the heat of his body and said: "Do you like what you see, taichou-sama?"

He blinked, his small step backwards contrasting with his penetrating stare, dark with desire.

"Are you punishing me for our misunderstanding earlier?"

"I guess I am," she smirked.

"Your weapon of choice is impressive, Rin. You are beautiful. I beg you not to tease me, I will not be able to resist you."

"Then don't resist," She had taken a step towards him, reaching out until her hand found his shirt. Her fingers caressed his chest carefully. When his breath hitched but he did not resist, she used both hands to undo the top strings of his tunic. Tessarion shuddered and closed his eyes, his head tilted backwards slightly. She ran her finger tips down his pectoral muscles towards things hidden lower, the sensations beneath her fingers made her breath catch in her throat. He seemed made of well-defined concrete, clad in warm velvet, and she felt herself becoming aroused.

Leaning in towards him, she whispered into his face: "Kiss me."

Tessarion's eyes opened wide at her bold request. He was convinced now that the twins had done an excellent job in severing their bond with her if she desired him now. She should not have any inclination for another if there was even a shred of the bond intact.

He hesitated. His mind travelled to Zeale, the intimacy they shared so many centuries ago. He had not touched another elleth in that way ever since she died. It was not in his nature to be intimate on a whim or without at least a partial fea connection. Some friends said that he was too hard on himself, but he did not see it as hardship, nor as a conscious choice. No elleth had caught his attention since Zeale.

And here he now stood, facing no elleth but a mortal! He found himself attracted to her otherness, to her slender, lean body, her black hair, her beautiful eyes. He found that he wanted her, his fea reaching for her instinctively.

But what of her expectations? Being a mortal, she was unfamiliar with his Elvish ways. Despite their fea recognition, he sensed that her intentions were of the fleeting kind. Seeking warmth for a night until morning. But his Elvish nature prevented him to pursue such shallow entertainment.

He raised his hands to cup her face reverently, his lips gliding softly from her earlobe towards her lips, not quite touching. He whispered: "Forgive me, mellon nin, I cannot give you what you want."

She was shivering at his touch, he could feel it in his hands, and he felt a strange triumph over his effect on her.

"And what is it, I want?" her eyes were closed, her chin pulled forward, her lips waiting in anticipation.

"You wish for satisfaction, for completion. You wish to forget, if only for this one night. And I am your tool for that."

She opened her eyes, his hands still holding her face, staring at him with reptile-like attention.

"That is what I wish. You think it wrong?"

Tessarion sighed, lowering his hands, his warmth leaving her face. She frowned at him.

"I am of Elf kind, Rin. You know what this kind of intimacy means for my kind?"

She sighed irritably. "Marriage. The twins told me."

"That is not the whole story, Rin. Love and intimacy, a connection between fea, they are sacred to us, cherished above all else, they are a gift from the Valar. We do not simply venture into physical intimacy for fleeting pleasure, lest there is a special connection to be cherished."

Now Rin took a step back. "So be it," she replied, turning to grab her clothes so that he could not see the hurt that flit across her face from his rejection. And to think she had thought to punish him! Still facing away she put on her panties, momohiki pants and with difficulty, due to her moist skin, her sports bra.

Tessarion watched her, his fea feeling bereft of her nearness, his body yearning to touch hers. Making a quick decision he hoped he would not regret, he moved forward to catch her wrist as she fumbled with her clothes, turning her back firmly to face him.

She looked up at him questioningly as he smiled at her, reclaiming the distance, his hand sliding downwards to caress her palm with his thumb ever so softly.

"You misunderstand me, Rin. You are breathtaking in your beauty, your warrior nature, your intelligence, your wit. I care for you more than I have cared for any elleth in a very long time, Rin. I can feel the familiarity between our fea, although the connection is not complete, nor its nature defined."

He raised his hand again, staring into her eyes, grabbing the nape of her neck carefully, guiding her towards his lips. The kiss was featherlight and sweet. It was a sharp contrast with the warrior that he was, standing there before her in all his rock hard perfection.

Her cheeks were hot, a burst of butterflies pooled through her insides and she had trouble looking him straight in the eye after his kiss. He smiled gently at her. "I wish to touch you because I care about you, Rin."

She blinked at him.

She felt his lips brushing hers again, his breath on her skin. Emotions welled up in her and she fought to keep her tears in check. He seemed to sense it and he smiled softly against her lips.

"Is this such a revelation, Rin? Do you not feel that I am more in your heart?"

She took a shaking breath. "Hai…."

His eyes were friendly, caring. Then with a deep sigh, she kissed him back, surrendering to the feeling of being cherished and the sweet torture of his tongue in her mouth. She felt his hands sliding over her back, drawing patterns, causing goosebumps. One hand slid lower, beneath her behind, caressing it softly. Then he bent lower down, until his arm was aligned with the back of her knees, scooping her up as if she weighed nothing and carried her towards a large boulder. He sat down on it, positioning her onto his lap, legs to one side, his lips never leaving hers.

His ministrations were featherlight and gentle and she felt herself giving into the feeling, relishing each long stretched moment. When he finally released her lips, and sat back a bit to look at her in the eye, he whispered, "Are you sure, Rin? We cannot go all the way, for I will not bind you to me…."

She sat up straight, giving him a level stare, "Just give me what you are willing to give." And she kissed him passionately, threading her fingers through his hair. He kissed her back hard, his breath heavy, his body heat igniting her core.

She noticed she had no regrets, no thoughts on the twins. And it was a state of mind that she longed for. She pressed herself against him, soon becoming frustrated by the angle. He seemed to notice her need and lifted her by her waist, letting her swing her leg to the other side so she could straddle him.

She felt his fingers roaming the fabric of her bra until his fingers hooked underneath the bottom seam, pulling it over her head and arms, over and off. She felt strangely vulnerable when he revealed her breasts, her arms caught above her head for a moment within the fabric of the bra. She felt goosebumps erupting immediately, making her shiver. When her arms fell back her sides, he reclaimed her lips while rolling her nipples between his fingers slowly. The sensation made her groan softly in his mouth, grasping his upper arms in reflex. While doing so, she realised that Tessarion was still fully dressed, his clothes a barrier between them.

She opened her eyes, ending their kiss. They stared at each other, desire lingering on their faces, while Tessarion quickly took off his tunic and shirt. Her eyes raked over his chest hungrily, he was perfect, muscular but lightly built. Scars marred his skin and to her amazement she noticed an abstract kind of tattoo on his right chest, consisting of vertical lines. She traced them with her fingers in awe.

His skin was soft and warm underneath her fingers and feeling courageous, she let them slip downwards over his chest towards the top of his pants, slipping behind the drawstrings, loosening them up. Her fingers grazed his member in the process and his breath hitched, followed by a soft curse in Elvish. When she loosened the top of his pants, she cupped his member softly, relishing the feel of him in her hand.

If Tessarion had doubts or fear of regret earlier, there was no room for it now. His mind was flooded with the sole sensation of her warm hand holding him, causing blissful friction. Having a taste of her lips, her weight and warmth in his lap, made him feel his centuries-long control slipping slowly but steadily. Her skin was like silk underneath his fingers, her muscle tone subtle, but defined and hard. Her black hair and eyes reflected the starlight, making them shine in the dark. Her lips were slightly open, saliva adorned her bottom lip. Her inward and outward beauty was, for a moment, painful to behold and he watched her in apprehension, caught in a timeless moment dominated by hesitance. He did not wish to bind himself to a mortal on a partial fea bond. He should stop. But he felt himself falling, tumbling into this bright place of desire and there was no escape.

His fea throbbed and flowed around him, reaching for her, wanting her even closer. When she started stroking his member with her small hand, he felt all discipline disappear. He took a shuddering breath, trying to find strength in his breathing. He forced himself to think of Zeale, but even her memory disappeared as snow before sunlight. How he longed for the touch of a female after all these years! Without further thought, he plunged his tongue between her inviting lips, a groan escaping his own.

She did not have the words to explain afterwards, when she thought back at this moment. It felt as if his energy was flowing over, almost bursting out of him. And to her surprise it was a familiar feeling, a recognition almost. She felt at ease and free, his energy filling her to the brim, making her heart beat steady and strong, full of euphoria, creating a high that came close to a fighting frenzy, but was different altogether.

Despite this silent power display, he kept being gentle with inhuman restraint, his ministrations passionate, forceful but also teasing when his soft lips pressed featherlight on her skin descending from her mouth towards her neck. Only his breathing betrayed the impact of the movements she made with her hand. His ragged breath followed his lips on her skin over her collarbone towards her nipples. He sweetly tortured her breasts with his tongue until her breath matched his own and she was a shivering heap. Panting she gasped: "Tessarion…."

He looked up at her, his eyes glistening in the starlight. He did not hide his lust for her and it excited her even more.

He slipped one of his hands over her stomach and down between her legs, stroking through the fabric of her pants. Then he tugged on the straps, loosening the knot, opening them. His fingers moved inside of her thighs, sliding close alongside her core, but not quite touching her for some time, until he finally did, making her legs shake. Bolder, his fingers traced the edges of her panties, until she felt his calloused finger pulling aside the fabric. With a gasp, she let him slip his finger in and out of her folds, the rough skin pleasantly rubbing. While the tension inside her body built, she cried softly, her mouth on his shoulder trying to keep the sound muffled.

He was driving her mad with desire and she was determined to pay him back, stroking his member with a torturous slow pace until she noticed with satisfaction his glistening skin and pained face. Suddenly he held her wrist pulling her away.

They stared at each other, hearts hammering, panting, eyes wild. "Stop Rin, for I am almost…"

She tried to pry her wrist from his hand, scowling at him, trying to break free, trying to kiss him, but he held her at bay. "Please Rin…. I will not last….I have not felt this for centuries and …!"

"Centuries?" she echoed. He must have loved somebody centuries ago, she thought through the haze of arousal. And she felt for him, as she realised what it meant to be an Elf and lose a loved one. How he had not gone mad was beyond her. Why he chose her after all these centuries was beyond her. How he could be so sweet and patient and in control was beyond her. The revelation that he was here in her arms, kissing her, driving her towards completion caused a rush of adrenaline in her system and she felt high on the sheer compliment that this was, coming from this beautiful and fearsome Elf warrior.

She would not leave him unsatisfied if this was his first time after so long. She did not let him finish his sentence, because she moved her hips forwards, rubbing herself against his hard member until his eyes became unfocused and words escaped him. Pushing him backwards on the stone, she grabbed his arms and pinned him down. Moving more she caused wickedly good friction and Tessarion groaned in sweet agony. He held on to her as if she were a lifeline while she moved her hips, grinding into him, riding him, driving him mad.

Tessarion closed his eyes, gritting his teeth, fighting the urge to undress her, and force her upon him, penetrating her. Instead he let her dominate him, riding this dangerous edge, giving into the sensations she was giving him, trying desperately to last. When he felt his climax approaching, he forcefully pushed his hands up and grabbed the side of her face, kissing her softly, whispering desperately. "Rin..."

She kissed him back hard, hands grabbing his shoulders, tongue thrusting in and out of his mouth. He felt her becoming undone, trembling all over while calling out into his mouth, her fingernails digging painfully into his skin. Amazingly she did not falter but gritted her teeth, a dark desire emanating from her eyes. She kept her pace, riding against him, intent on taking him with her, reducing him to a smouldering heap.

She looked stunning, face slack, her chest glistening from sweat, her movements determined, chasing his fulfilment with desperate movements while prolonging her own pleasure.

He could only hold on to her. He closed his eyes, cursing in Elvish at the intensity of the sensations, when finally he let himself go with a long gasp, succumbing to the relentless waves of pleasure coursing through his body. He sensed their feas dancing alongside each other in a soothing way. Then he fell backwards, his hands still on her hips, heart thudding, limbs shaking, eyes rolled backwards.

When they finally caught their breath, he pulled Rin against his chest, holding her softly, whispering "Thank you," in her hair, stroking her back while she snuggled into him, fully sated.

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The damp air cooled them down all too soon and Rin, being mortal, stood up reluctantly, shivering in spite of Tessarion's warmth. They helped to dress each other after shaking the grit from their clothes, causing Rin to giggle when he fumbled with the straps and folds of her momohiki. When dressed, she turned towards Tessarion, taking in his relaxed features. She kissed him standing on tiptoes. Then she slipped her hand in his while retracing their steps towards the waterside.

While walking she contemplated what happened. She had enjoyed it and felt humbled by being desired by such an impressive Elf. She was glad that she could give him pleasure after his centuries of abstinence. But there was still a feeling of distance between them. Their disagreement about the small battle still clung to her and when she was honest with herself, she did not feel the same ruthless pull towards Tessarion that she felt towards the twins. There was no physical need to be as close as possible. Even after seeing him become undone, he was just Tessarion, her captain and friend. She had enjoyed their intimacy, would love to do it all over again. If he did not wish it, she would not mind or feel hurt.

"Are you still mad at me now, about the orc?" he asked, breaking their silence.

She shrugged. "If you choose to be just towards those creatures, it is your choice. Let us agree to disagree."

"Those creatures are descendents from Elves. Elves that were tortured and maimed by the Enemy."

Shocked she said: "But they are not Elves any longer! They are evil!"

"Evil? Who are you to pass judgement Rin? Before this conversation, you had no idea of the origins of orcs."

"You are right, but you cannot feel pity for them, surely!"

"I am an Elf, Rin. I fear you do not grasp the nature of my kind. You mistake my actions for pity or kindness. But those are human sentiments, instigated by human emotions like revenge, hurt and rage. Elves do not fall prey so easily to those feelings."

She contemplated on his words eyeing him thoughtfully.

"Some do."

"Elrond's sons might seem human to you. Their hunger for blood and revenge seems human enough. But do not forget their true nature, Rin." His words were stern and she cringed a little, remembering their harsh parting, their rejection of her feelings for immortal beings.

"I am like them", she defended.

He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. "You are not like them. Your heart can still be mended, your hurt will lessen, your bloodlust can be turned into a force of good."

She stared at him in wonderment, hope filling her body like champagne for a moment. But then, she knew it was not true. He thought she was broken, someone to be fixed, that she could turn into the girl he thought she once was. And it quickly irritated her. This was who she was. Scars, hurt, bloodlust and revenge. There was no path for her back to her past self, before her family was killed. She had accepted it long ago. She embraced her darkness only recently. Tessarion did not want to accept who she truly was, he was seeing another version of her, a version that he believed could arise from the ashes of trauma.

"But I am like them, Tessarion. This is who I am. Scars and darkness. I am content with that."

He sighed in defeat. Staring into her dark eyes he said softly. "It saddens my heart that you think this way."

She pushed him from her with some force until he stumbled back. Her voice grew louder. "You wish to change me, while I have just finally made peace with myself. They showed me I am not broken!" Staring at him with fierce eyes, she said firmly: "I cannot be part of this Guard, Tessarion-sama. There is no place for me here."

She felt sadness at these words. The dream of belonging, being part of something larger had been for a short time, mesmerizing, and Tessarion was captivating. She enjoyed their intimacy, but the Guard was not her place. She needed to feel alive, to feel the life around her, to experience her emotions and thoughts. She needed the hunt, she needed death, risk, blood and solitude. She would travel north and seek out the Dunedain and find her purpose. Without the twins.

After experiencing the intimate testimony of Tessarion's feelings for her, connecting with him in a way that she didn't understand, she felt more balanced now, more at peace. The twins had rejected her, and that was their problem. She could live - and thrive - without them.

His face softened at her resolve. He knew the truth when he saw it. "It was an honour to have you, Rin. I like your words earlier. Let us agree to disagree." He smiled and all friction seemed to evaporate.

He had felt their fea connection strengthen while they were physically intimate, but it was not a bond that would tie them to each other. They would remain close, intimate friends who could share sexual pleasures again should they both desire it, but he could - and would - let her go.

She smiled, touching his cheeks tenderly and kissing him softly on the lips. "Thank you, taichou-sama. With your help, I am now ready to move ahead on my own." And it was true.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In his warm study, sitting next to the hearth, Master Elrond stood abruptly, spilling his wine over his wrist and onto the rug. Cursing in Elvish he took quick steps towards the window. Casting a look at the night sky, he frowned in worry.

Within an unguarded moment, staring into the flames, his mind had wandered aimlessly, until his foresight showed him a flurry of events, moments in time, interconnected but without a beginning or end.

Fortunately, the moon was not right this night, which gave him ample time to form a strategy. Two days to prevent the four deaths he foresaw. Two days to counter the large orc band that were travelling towards his lands with mad speed. Two days to save his sons and two captains.

With a quick flick of his wrist he pulled the string that rang the servant bell. Waiting in silence he gritted his teeth, cursing his foresight, dreading the outcome of his next actions, for meddling with that which will come to pass was folly, even for the wisest.