Curative
Time was ticking away over the prison and everyone knew it. A fight was coming and they were are trying to prepare. Not only the prison but also themselves for losing people. It wasn't a new concept to them, losing friends and family, but they braced themselves for the grief.
What they did not know is the fight was in question. Rick stood on watch with a rifle in his hands, trying to block the bright sun with his free hand. It was scalding hot outside and the humidity made it even worse. He knew the Governor wouldn't show up today as the plan was to meet tomorrow.
This allowed him to think through the deal. It was morally bankrupt in truth, but he couldn't ignore the possibility to save lives. He always tried to find the path that leads to the least loss of life. Everyone couldn't survive, there were simply things he couldn't control. People would die despite everyone's best efforts.
Best efforts the key point of that. He and every single survivor had to make the best choice ahead of them. Whatever it was that saved them and their family they committed. This meant killing not only walkers but the living as well.
Rick's eyes followed the road up to the prison, passed the gate, and to the blue-skinned woman standing alone. A rare moment to see her away from Daryl, but there she was. To give others the chance to rest before the coming fight Laura was taking all their watch shifts. Since she never felt tired she was a perfect fit to give everyone else the day off.
As thanks, most people came to check on Laura regularly. Giving her water, offering snacks though she turned them down, and some kind words of gratitude. Rick wasn't on that list because he chose not to be. He couldn't sit still with the weight on his mind. Laura was aware he was outside with her but offered no more than a smile in his direction before focusing on her watch.
Guilt set in fast. So much faster than he anticipated. He pushed through it trying his best to consider the outcomes. Things were getting out of control every step forward he took. He hoped that this was the last of that and they could all move on with their lives.
As if he made the decision so he would carry the guilt to protect the others. Somehow that made it better in his mind. This self-imposed martyrdom that he had constructed. If he was to tell anyone else they would argue with him, tell him he's falling apart. They would be right and somewhere in Rick's unstable sanity, he knew that.
He also knew his hallucinations were all in his head. He heard the people they lost like Shane and saw Lori in her wedding dress. It was hard accepting that he was cracking under the pressure, but he began to work through it. He still wondered if seeing in Laura in the woods was real or not.
Not that it mattered in the end, he believed Laura knew how guilty he felt about her separation from the group. He hoped Lori knew he was sorry that he wasn't closer to her before she died. By some wordless exchange that T-Dog knew he blamed himself for his death. For everything, for everyone, all the time.
Now they stood on the precipice of disaster. If they fought Woodbury head-on people would die and he felt responsible for it. He had already felt so much guilt he didn't think he could bear any more. Yet he couldn't imagine forcing that guilt onto others by showing them what's happening behind the curtain.
Rick faced the Governor's deal to give him Michonne in exchange for leaving the prison alone.
There were no assurances that Philip would uphold his end of the deal. If Rick did agree to the deal, hand over Michonne, and the Governor did hold true to the deal... was that not worth the lives of everyone else? Michonne was not with them initially, she had joined them when taken with Laura. Since then she's been nothing but civil, helping them attack Woodbury even.
Andrea also seemed to like her, the two having a deep friendship before Woodbury. Carl vouched for Michonne too, claiming the woman to be one of the group and welcome in his eyes. It wasn't something to be taken lightly.
But one life for everyone else. One life to save his family, to save Carl and Judith. This was his choice and his alone, if he agreed to it then the deal was done. He wanted nothing more than to protect them, to give them the leadership they needed to survive.
Rick looked back down to the undead woman standing guard and was struck with a sharp pang. Since he opened those documents last night he was struggling to see her as she is again. When she turned he saw another angle of her body and could match them to the polaroids. Ribs, kidneys, stomach... heart. He hadn't made it through all the documents yet either.
Scars he saw before that had healed over were almost transparent to him. He could look at her chest and see the scar over her left breast pulled open to reveal a dead heart contained under her ribs. It was vile, truly something out of a horror movie.
It made that guilt so much worse. When he read about the discoveries her father made and how he made them... Rick couldn't stand it. He hated those pictures, he hated reading about it, and he hated knowing she suffered it. Her survival of that torture impressed on him the severity of their situation... and his considering he lied to her about it.
He turned his focus from Laura and to the trees. He leaned on the railing, caught in a cycle of thought. Doing this meant they had a chance to avoid a fight which was Rick's goal. The Governor didn't seem like a trustworthy man so Rick doubted the deal would even work.
It wasn't the likelihood of it being successful, it was the smallest chance he could make the deal and spare others. He wanted a way out, he wanted to find some hidden third option that absolved him of this burden, but there was none. He would make this decision and utilize the help of his inner circle. After that, it was a matter of time.
Inside the prison, people were spending their time arming themselves and resting up.
The usual groups were collected with the Greene family at a table together with Carl and Judith nearby. They were having lunch and Hershel read a bible verse to his daughters. An unyielding man of faith that shared his beliefs with his family.
On another table was Daisy and Red just resting with each other. Daisy reached a hand over to rest it atop Red's own, offering a gentle smile through a bruised face. It still hurt to see the black and blue bruising, but Red was happy she was here and feeling better.
Nearby the Greene family was Braddock, Micheal, and Glenn. The trio just standing off to the side holding a short and polite conversation. Some small distractions to keep their minds off the coming threat. They found some companionship in their shared interests.
Beside them was a group of misfits from all over. The Dixon brothers together as usual again, joined by Carol and Axel. While Daryl was welcoming to Carol's company, Merle didn't like being around a lot of people. His standoffish presence made Axel a bit nervous.
Carol was watching from the side as Sophia was off to see Judith. Melanie was leaning against Daisy, she tried to care for her older sister but had so far been kept from seeing Daisy. The early days of rest and recovery were particularly bad, Daisy had hoped to not let Melanie see her as she is.
Despite the appearance of peace in the prison, there was nothing but animosity growing. Red had calmed down since his anger got the best of him. Rick had told him, Glenn, and Daisy that they would talk about Laura after Woodbury was handled.
It made sense because if they didn't survive the fight it really wouldn't matter. For now, their differences were put aside, but not forgotten. Red still held onto Markus and why he wasn't with them anymore. He needed to know why.
Daisy wanted to know as well, she shared with their group the grief of losing Markus. The greatest threat had to be handled first and that means Woodbury needed to be stopped. Everyone was ready to fight and terrified of what that meant.
So they had a truce, Red was doing better, and no one felt threatened by the large man. More than that, they felt like Red could be reasoned with even when he was angry. Though that result wasn't intentional, it did help his position with the group.
When the day dragged on Carol and Beth had prepared dinner for the group. Everyone was inside eating, everyone but Laura. Though the day went by peacefully the air was thick with anticipation. They were all just waiting to hear that first shot all day and all night.
It took an effort to try and take the day off, but Laura assured them she had a handle on it. She stood outside for the entire day the second the sun rose. Truthfully, she was bored of staring at the field. Nothing was going to happen today, she was just out there for peace of mind.
She heard the metal creaking of the cellblock door, which she didn't pay attention to. A few people had come and gone through the day so she ignored it. Until the person came up beside her, dropping himself onto the old metal bench overlooking the field.
She gave her company a mirthless smile that got a huff from the man. That man being Merle who had left the group inside to sit with Laura. He didn't care to be included in Carol and Axel's small talk about dinner and obvious flirtation. He cared less about the other strangers in the group that also didn't much care for him.
But here he knew he could be comfortable and Laura was always welcoming to his company. Even if he was being an ass to everyone else or saying something inflammatory to her. She didn't care, she saw through the tough talk. Since he figured he didn't need to be on guard with Laura, he stopped when he was alone with her.
It was hard, their friendship wasn't exactly ideal. They worked with others though they had nothing in common and nothing to talk about. Laura knew Merle had her back and she had his, though she didn't owe him anything.
The temperature began to drop by the minute, getting colder and colder as the sunlight faded. She wasn't bothered the cool air felt better to her than the hot sun, but she wondered how long it'd be until Merle turned in for the night.
Not before Daryl had approached them having seen his brother leave the cellblock. He found them rather easily, spotting the two on the benches in front of the opposite cellblock. When he neared them Laura's head turned, her eyes reflecting light back at him. He figured he'd never get used to that and how animalistic it seemed.
Taking a seat on the opposite side from Merle, Daryl leaned back against the cool concrete. Quickly joined by Laura who gravitated towards him. His arm around her back as she nestled against him.
Though Laura was technically on watch, she doubted any attack would happen tonight. So they were out there staring at the dark trees and Laura spent some time stargazing as the night passed by.
When it was finally late enough in the evening, Merle was the first to get up and start heading inside. Both to get out of the cold and to turn in. A lot was coming in the next days and they all needed to be sharp.
Tonight, Laura would spend the night outside on watch. A single guard for the entire night, giving the others time to rest. It made Daryl uncomfortable to leave her out here, but she was insistent. He hesitated, not speaking but showing her he was thinking about her. He would miss her in his bed and she missed being there.
As the brothers headed back inside, Laura kept her focus on the road to the prison and the trees surrounding. She would help the group anyway she could, using her ability to see in the dark and her restlessness to their benefit.
Laura remained outside in the cold for the remainder of the night.
"Just ain't us man."
"No, it isn't."
The morning started with a lot of noise. People were up and fully awake thanks to the overnight cover of a certain resident walker. They got to work on more creative fortifications to help hinder Woodbury's advance in the prison.
Beth drove the pickup carrying a collection of rudimentary spike strips with nails and barbed wire. For any vehicle daring approach, it would take them out easily. Any approach by foot would be easily defeated as the prison walls held the advantage.
Maggie and Carol were in the fenced-in edges making noise to attract the walkers. It gave the people in the truck the time to unload and position the spike strips. Michonne was on foot cutting walkers down with her sword smoothly.
Laura was still behind the fence in the courtyard. While they were working outside the safety of the standing fences, Laura remained on watch. She was pleased to see how they functioned as a team, almost effortlessly executing a plan. She could see their survival skills in action and it gave her confidence they could beat Woodbury.
There was always some doubt from Laura about their expertise. It brought her great relief to see how well they did out there amid a herd or two. It wasn't the most dangerous position to be in, but it testified to their ethic.
Rick came rushing up behind Laura somewhat panicked. He was unaware of the planning happening and was surprised to see people outside the fence. His confusion quickly faded to interest, helping Laura pull open the gate to let the pickup roll back in.
He spared her a glance but hurried to join the others jumping out of the pickup. Glenn headed towards Rick to explain what they were doing. "They try to drive up to the gate again, maybe some blown tires will stop them."
Impressed, Rick expressed his appreciation. "That's a good idea."
"It was Michonne's." Daryl stated with an indiscernible expression. Rick watched him a moment and said nothing back.
Laura cocked her head at the odd exchange. It seemed a bit different, but she wrote it off without a second thought.
"We don't have to win. We just have to make getting at us more trouble than it's worth." Michonne seemed pleased with her idea and how they made it happen. The support from the group was refreshing to her, it had been a long time since Michonne could relax with this many people around her.
Again, that strange tense few seconds of silence interrupted by the gate behind them squeaking open. Maggie and Carl returned from distracting the walkers, ready to get out of the sun.
Rick turned, his gaze fixed on Daryl. It wasn't normal for the two men to hold such prolonged eye contact like that. Without saying or doing anything to acknowledge it, almost as if they were in a fight and they were hiding it from the others.
Laura watched them with a mild curiosity now. Rick and Daryl had grown a lot closer since she was away. A good thing definitely, the two people she trusted most also trusted each other. It helped tremendously as she saw them as both morally strong men.
This also made Laura's relationship with Daryl a bit easier as Rick once expressed concern about it. Something about age, her inexperience, Daryl's volatility, and Laura's 'walk all over me and I'll thank you for it' disposition. Things were better now, this group was tight-knit and she was a bit envious.
Rick not just for his leadership, but also for being stalwart and sticking to his principle. A respectable person that inspired her to keep moving forward.
Merle was around, but she didn't hold him in the same regard. Merle was this abnormal relationship she built through necessity. The companionship of the two ex-Woodbury soldiers was mutual toxicity and respect. They weren't good together, but even worse apart. With Merle around Laura knew their penchant for getting in trouble would catch up.
The implications of Laura's view of the others directly affected her opinion of herself. Rick's uncompromising leadership, loyalty, and compassion was something she looked up to. He had all the qualities she wished she had. Merle's spitefulness and hurt disguised as anger; that's how she saw herself.
She unknowingly kept comparing herself to Rick every time she thought of him. The sacrifices he made to keep the group together and the suffering he's faced in the last week, yet he was still here. Sure, he went off the deep end for a bit, but that's only natural after the stress he had been under.
But then Laura thought of herself going off that same deep end. In Laura's own mind she thought of her surrendering to the torture as a weakness. Though Daryl assured her no one would think less of her for it, he was wrong in a sense. There was one person; Laura thought less of herself for it.
She wanted to be strong, she wanted to stand up against the people that did her wrong. That fire burning inside her wanted revenge for her suffering. Tearing apart the Woodbury soldiers in the prison felt cathartic, but standing up to Philip was intoxicating. It felt deeply satisfying on a level Laura was uncomfortable to admit.
Seeing Philip freeze on the spot and, in that position, she was untouchable. Watching him suck up all that hatred he felt for her gave Laura an overwhelming rush. She almost wanted him to do it, to lash out. It would most likely result in both Laura and Philip getting shot, but... Laura only dared to dream about being the person that kills Philip.
This desire for revenge wasn't new. She always wanted it from as far back in Woodbury as she could remember. Having to choke it down was harder than she thought it would be. After so many months she got used to the idea of waiting and watching. As far as Laura was concerned those men with bite scars on them belonged to her.
Which made her realize she did leave one particularly deep bite on Daryl. As she watched the group walking away presumably to the next step of new fortifications, Laura wondered how Daryl was managing to hide said bite wound.
Laura remained outside still holding her position on watch. She a lot to think about as the Woodbury fight drew closer. There either would be a tomorrow or there wouldn't. Either way, she was glad she was back with the group for the fight.
She kept thinking about it though, no matter how she tried to put it out of her head. The similarities between Laura and Merle were greater than between her and Rick. She felt ashamed and feared alienating the others which was already happening.
Laura felt like this tar that swallowed up anything good she had in her before. All those desirable qualities of a good person were drowned in the black blood in her body. If she wasn't careful, she feared that tar would escape her and poison everyone around her.
She had to stop it, push all that hate she felt down deeper. Hideaway all the things she felt was wrong about her and calm that fiery rage she felt for Woodbury.
Hiding all of the terrible things she wanted to do to the people of Woodbury, she tried to keep focused on the task at hand. There was no sign of an attack incoming, not even the faintest sound in the trees. The only thing out there was some walkers and wandering wildlife.
After only a short time she heard a cellblock door open, the metal squeaking as Rick stepped out. He squinted in the sunlight before he looked at her. Curious, Laura raised a hand to give him a small wave. He headed down the concrete stairs and deeper into the courtyard behind the bridge.
Laura's head spun around to look back to the treeline, anxious to see what Rick was doing. Turning back to Rick she saw him head over to the pile of rubble and junk that had collected by the brick wall of the prison. There was a whole mess of broken things in there, definitely nothing of use right now.
Her curiosity was skyrocketing by the second. What could he possibly want with the scrapheap? Whatever it was, he looked like he was finding it. He crouched down, picking something up and inspecting it. Laura was dying to know. Rick didn't look... good, he looked distressed.
In her concern, Laura started to approach him cautiously. She saw him look up to her and his expression changed. Whatever it was bothering him was really getting to him. When she neared him, Rick dropped his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"You're not there." She heard Rick utter under his breath. "She's not there."
Glancing side to side, Laura's concern was founded. "Rick?" She tried to be gentle on her approach, but her voice startled him. He had not expected the figure walking towards him to be an actual person.
"Lori?" Rick blocked out the blinding sun with his hand. He saw the tall brunette woman in front of him, looking the same as the last time he saw her alive. His regret and stress manifested itself into hallucinations of his wife currently taking the place of a real person.
Laura, said real person, shook her head slowly. "Um, no. It's Laura..." Now she absolutely knew this was abnormal and not just rooting through the scrapheap. "Do you think I'm Lori?" Saying the deceased woman's name made Laura feel a bit strange.
His eyes adjusted better to the sun and upon hearing Laura's name, the hallucination faded. Brown hair turned black, pale skin turned blue, and the look of death in her eyes. It was alarming, but his senses returned to him quickly. "Lor- Laura. No, sorry."
Laura's eyes fell to the ground, feeling awful for Rick's grief. People had kept comforting her through her struggles coming back from Woodbury. If Rick needed someone to help lift him up, she wanted to be that person.
"Are you... seeing Lori?" Laura was wholly unsure of how to ask this. It felt like an invasion of his privacy and his personal grief.
However, Rick didn't see it that way. He trusted Laura and knew if anyone wouldn't judge him for his hallucinations, it was her. Rick was reluctant, but he nodded. "Yeah... yeah, sometimes."
Somehow Laura was still surprised by the answer despite already expecting it. She didn't know how to care for that kind of problem. Mental instability required skills she did not possess, all she could do it be someone to lean on.
"I-" Laura brought a hand to the back of her head, scratching her wiry hair. "I talk to the virus in my head... Uh, please don't tell anyone that." She chuckled, embarrassed.
Now it was Rick's turn to be surprised. He had no idea about that, but he recalled an earlier comment Michonne made. On the run with Rick and Carl, Michonne sympathized with Rick by telling him she talks to her dead boyfriend sometimes.
It started to look like people were all a little crazy these days. Rick unwrapped the wire from his hand and threw it back into the scrapheap. He stood up, frustrated with himself.
Without a word, Rick passed by her. It felt strange to Laura as Rick rarely appeared so... conflicted. Something was wrong, but she didn't know if she should press the issue.
Whatever it was, Rick went back inside the cellblock to handle it. Laura watched him walk away with a confused expression and no idea what to do with herself after that.
She returned to watch the field while trying to decipher that exchange. She waited there hoping that Rick would explain it later. It was interesting to hear that he was seeing Lori and she felt awful he struggled with that. When Daryl told her about all those lost memories; the quarry, the farm, Atlanta, the CDC. He also mentioned the difficulty on the road and the tension between Rick and Lori.
It was a terrible thing to deal with keeping everyone alive while feeling betrayed by the woman he loved. Rick needed time to heal and was given no such mercy.
They all still had so much to deal with before anyone could breathe freely. With Woodbury, the problems around Laura, and the constant threat of walkers; it was looking bad for them. So many were pushing down their walls it was only a matter of time.
Laura felt her anxiety rising the more she thought of Woodbury. The corner of her mouth twitched. Her mind racing with the possibilities of them losing and the Governor destroying this group. If she was to face being taken back to Woodbury or die, Laura would shoot herself before going back.
Being here made her happy even with the looming threat of death hanging over them. Somehow this had to change, things had to get better. And Laura had the confidence that this change would be done right. No doubt in her mind they would do things right and not compromise themselves as Philip did.
Laura heard the cellblock door open again, this time it was not Rick on some cryptic search. Daryl came out with the same purpose as Laura, but also to be with his preferred company.
"Anything?" Daryl was also trying to deal with the brightness of the sun. Holding his crossbow in one arm and trying to cover his eyes with the other hand.
Shaking her head, Laura shrugged. "Walkers and rabbits." She grinned, coming to stand beside him. The heat was radiating off the concrete and making the heat even worse.
When Daryl reached over to Laura, she did flinch from the contact but after his hand rested on her a few seconds, Daryl did too. "Shit," He exclaimed in surprise. "The hell?"
Confused, Laura tilted her head. He just recoiled from her though she didn't even move. "What, what is it?" She tried to look at his hand to see why he removed it but saw nothing.
"You're fuckin' burning." Daryl was just as confused. "Hot to the touch, ya' feel like a frying pan."
Laura placed her hand on her other arm, but quickly realized she wouldn't be able to detect any odd temperature. Heat usually burned her so terribly she could not handle the pain, she would collapse or pass out entirely.
"I... don't feel it. I just feel warm, been out in the sun all day." She couldn't come up with a reason other than it was hot outside. Since heat caused her such tremendous pain, being searing hot made no sense whatsoever. "I'm sorry, I don't know what it is."
Seeing Laura questioning this strange thing, whatever it was, Daryl tried to help. "If ya' need to head inside to cool off, go ahead. I can take over."
Laura was quick to refuse. "No, I feel fine. I haven't really noticed anything." Sending Daryl an apologetic look, she smiled. "I guess no touching right now. Sorry, Daryl."
He raised a shoulder in a half shrug. He didn't like not being able to touch her, even if he wasn't going to in the first place. "S'fine. Just make sure you're good."
"I'm good," Laura assured him, appreciative. And still wondering why she didn't feel the heat. It was enough for him to stop him from touching her. Which, considering how much the two sought out physical contact with each other, was definitely worth noting.
From then they mostly stood in silence, but Daryl was itching to ask her questions. Not about the heat he felt touching her skin, rather about the private talk between her and Rick. It was unusual Rick didn't include at least Daryl or Hershel in these discussions. Not to mention this was a conversation with Laura, not something Daryl took lightly.
He kept looking to her and back to the field. Daryl believed his stolen glances went unnoticed, assuming he was being sly enough no to alarm her.
However, his eyes on her weren't particularly stealthy at all. Laura could easily see him in her peripheral. There wasn't a bone in Daryl's body that was sly when it came to Laura. Aside from her experience with him, he just wasn't good at hiding his concern for her.
Not that he had to hide it, she was always happy to hear him out. So when Daryl's eyes found her for the umpteenth time Laura encouraged him to speak up. Without turning to face him, she smiled. "You can say what you're thinking."
Knowing he was caught in the act, Daryl dropped his poor attempt to conceal himself. "What did Rick wanna' talk about?"
Not an unusual question, she thought it only natural he'd be curious. She figured telling him wouldn't hurt since they planned on talking about it anyways. Rick only wanted to talk to Laura alone because he knew Daryl would enforce Laura not to be pressured into anything. While that was fair to Laura, it was unfair to the others and would only raise suspicions.
So Laura answered without a qualm. "Rick wants me to talk to everyone about me and what happened in Woodbury."
Daryl's expression dropped from shy curiosity to defensive alarm. "Hell no, none of their damn business."
"I need to do it." Laura now turned to Daryl, resisting reaching out to him for comfort. "I don't like it, it will be uncomfortable."
"You don't-"
Laura stopped him, "I do. It's unnerving to have me around knowing what they know now, thanks to Merle's big mouth." She trailed the accusation about Merle off quietly. "I don't need to tell them everything. All I need to do is show them I'm not a threat."
Daryl was visibly upset by this, internally struggling with it. He had to come to terms with this as it was happening with or without his approval. This bothered him, yet he relented. "What're you gonna' tell them?"
Looking away in thought, Laura pursed her lips. "I guess mostly about the experiments and what I learned... about me. It's not easy talking about it, but I can power through it. If you're there with me." Her voice had a lilt to it as if suggesting he might not be.
"Okay." Daryl nodded hesitantly. He would absolutely be having words with Rick, but he would support Laura no matter what. "I don't like them forcin' you to do anything. Had enough of that shit already."
"At least this time it'll be for something good. Hopefully, it'll help people think better of me." Though Laura was resigned to the idea of being unwelcome, Daryl absolutely was not. He made it extremely clear that if she wasn't welcome, neither was he. A sentiment she appreciated.
He didn't want to press further as he gathered she was already distressed by it enough. Adding to that stress wouldn't help, so he backed off for now. He needed to see Rick about it once this was all over.
As the old saying goes 'speak of the devil and he shall appear,' Rick came storming out down the courtyard with a purpose.
Attracted to the rather pointed look on his face, Laura and Daryl both approached him quickly. Rick came up to Daryl first, "It's off. We'll take out chances." Rick's breath was hard with steadily growing panic.
"I'm not sayin' it was the wrong call, but this is definitely the right one." Daryl immediately understood. He was receptive to cancel the deal and was relieved to know Rick came around. Though no one argued the decision, Daryl and Hershel made their disapproval known. But that didn't seem to calm Rick, "What's wrong?" Daryl looked over him as if trying to find an injury.
"I can't find Merle or Michonne. They've gone." Rick's eyes scanned the area around them.
Laura, however, was shocked to hear this. "What? What's going on? Where would they go?" She rushed through her questions as she stepped closer to Rick and Daryl.
Rick had intentionally left Laura out of the loop. It wasn't a decision he made easily, but he made the deal without consulting her. "I made a deal with the Governor." He already saw Laura's reaction was not good. "We give him Michonne and he'd leave us alone."
As if the world went quiet around her, Laura's heart dropped. She felt as though she was just slapped in the face. Her shock struck her speechless, her mind went blank. What Rick said conflicted with everything she believed about him.
Her shoulders dropped as she stared blankly at Rick. "... You... did what...?" She barely managed to squeak out her disbelief.
Laura's body was slack, the shock rippled through her. Then she recalled what Daryl said; he understood what Rick was talking about the moment he stalked towards them. Her eyes snapped to the side, "You knew?"
Daryl did not answer. He saw the look on her face and he instantly knew this was very bad.
"We don't have time for this. Do you know where Merle could be?" Rick turned to Daryl in his rush, hoping to find Merle before something happens.
Daryl waved them to follow, "Come on." He hurried around the two and towards the opposite cellblock. He had seen Merle not too long ago and had been suspicious why he was down there. Rick was hot on his heels as Laura just turned around.
The rushed through the cellblock and into the cleared tombs. Their footsteps echoed through the tunnels as they rushed into the generator room, the same place Andrew tried to kill Rick in. Their familiarity with the area helped them dig through the room faster.
"He was in here. Said he was lookin' for drugs... Said a lot of things, actually." With Merle and Michonne missing, Daryl no doubted everything Merle said to him. They split up, searching through the room for any sign of where Merle went.
They passed the generators, looking through nothing but dust and old tool shelves. "Like what?" Rick couldn't see a thing out of place. It all seemed untouched.
"Said that you were gonna' change your mind." Daryl came to an abrupt stop, "Here we go." He knelt onto the floor, picking up an old torn pillowcase from the cellblock beds. It didn't belong down here and was a sure sign something went down.
There was a bit of a mess with some cut frayed ends of a cord. Daryl had gotten used to Merle causing problems with no care for the long term. He accepted responsibility for his brother regardless. "Yeah, he took her here. They mixed it up."
"Dammit!" Rick growled. He knew Merle was a problem, he always caused some issues when he was around. Talking Merle into the plan was the worst decision. "I'm going after him." Rick stormed towards the back exit before being cut off by Daryl.
"Nah, you can't track for shit." Daryl rushed up behind him.
Rick was fine with Daryl coming along to stop Merle. "Then both of us."
"No, just us. I said I'd go and I'll go." Daryl cut Rick off, standing between him and the door. "Plus they're gonna' come back here. You need to be ready. Your family, too." They both knew sending their two of their strongest fighters out would be a mistake. If Woodbury rolled up, the prison would be vulnerable.
Seeing Daryl step up for the group against his brother meant a lot to Rick. Other than it surprised him, he was thankful for Daryl's loyalty.
"Laura-" Daryl was about to call her to his side, head out with her. However, as Daryl looked behind Rick to look for Laura, he saw no one. His brow furrowed suddenly on edge. "Where's Laura?"
Rick spun around and saw nothing. There was no one else here but them. Laura would be a valuable tracker and she knew Merle as well. Having her with Daryl to stop Merle would increase the chance that Merle came back without a fight.
Only, there was no Laura. Rick's head snapped back to Daryl as the two realized she was never with them at all. The realization of this arose an alarming question. Where did she go?
"Shit!" Rick cursed. They had one problem to handle already, now they just created a second. "I'll find her, go."
Daryl nodded, slamming the door open as he raced to catch up with his brother. He had to deal with this first and then he could deal with Laura. He trusted Rick to find her though, he knew Rick wouldn't leave her be if she was struggling with what he told her.
Rick started by collecting everyone he could, heading through the cellblocks to find the group and get them together. Hershel, Beth, and Carol were all in the cafeteria as usual. Braddock, Micheal, Axel, and Red were not far into the cells. Daisy, Carl, and the girls were with Judith upstairs. Glenn and Maggie were just below.
Though he found everyone else but Laura. She was completely missing from the cellblock and he suspected she might be in the tombs. He headed down the corridors, searched through solitary, and into the workshop, but found nothing.
Towards the far side of the prison, there were herds of walkers and he could go no farther. Wherever Laura is, she did not want to be found.
"Laura!" He called out, hoping to hear something in response. His voice bounced off the concrete walls and out through the breach. "Laura, let's talk about this!"
Still, nothing.
To say it disturbed Rick would be an understatement. He saw nothing good when he told her the deal with the Governor and it seemed she took it to heart. Laura did not want to see anyone and with her ability to disappear into the herds, it was highly likely that's where she went.
With nowhere else to look, Rick headed back to the cellblock and outside to the courtyard. Everyone gathered to listen to what he had to say, to Rick admitting his deal with the devil.
Hershel was glad to see Rick came to his senses. It was not right to sell Michonne off to the Governor, even if the Governor did uphold the deal which was still more likely he wouldn't. Seeing Rick struggle through his words, he could see the shame he felt.
"When I met with the Governor, he offered me a deal. He said-" Rick dropped his gaze, finding it difficult to look at them. They had trusted him to lead and he knew he had failed. "He said he would leave us alone if I gave him Michonne."
It took a moment for that it to settle in, that Rick had betrayed the trust of the group. He made a deal to do something reprehensible, something the group could not imagine doing. Michonne was part of this group for better or worse, they would never turn against one of their own.
"And I was gonna' do that..." Rick saw Carl look down, processing his broken trust. "To keep us safe." Rick swallowed as he read the room. They were disappointed, saddened, and a few looked angry. Glenn and Red seemed most upset by this news.
"I changed my mind. But now Merle took Michonne to fulfill the deal and Daryl went to stop him and I don't know if it's too late." Even the youngest among the group could tell this was something terrible. This was a mistake that risked the lives of Michonne, Merle, and Daryl. "I was wrong not to tell you. And I'm sorry."
The gravity of Rick's deal with the Governor had settled in and everyone had made their opinion on it. Many growing visibly angry and upset. "What I said last year, that first night after the farm... It can't be like that. It can't."
The only people who didn't know about this was Red and his group. They were entirely unsure what he meant, though they recognized it wasn't good.
"What we do, what we're willing to do. Who we are, it's not my call. It can't be." He finally owned up to his break in leadership. He accepted his failings and had to admit he couldn't lead alone anymore. "I couldn't sacrifice one of us for the greater good because we are the greater good."
It was a relief to hear Rick was letting go of his control over the group, despite the cost already. "We're the reason we're still here, not me. This is life and death. How you live, how you die... It isn't up to me. I'm not your Governor." Rick recognized the similarities of his leadership with Philip's. He could not commit himself to that kind of life.
"We choose to go. We choose to stay. We stick together." Rick had to change the way they did things. Hershel was glad to see the change in Rick, a chance for a healthier leadership. "We vote. We can stay and we can fight, or we can go."
The decision was left to the group as Rick absolved his control. This was the change everyone wanted, the ability to make the best choice they could together. No more infighting, no more struggling with Rick's instability. Real change, real growth.
As Rick turned to leave, Carol stood up with Judith in her arms. "Rick, wait." She neared him, glancing between him and the group around them. Rick was unsure if he should stay while they decided among themselves, but he listened. "Did you tell Laura?"
Rick saw a red flag the second she asked. "Yes."
Braddock continued for Carol, coming to the same realization. "That's why we saw her earlier." He and Carol had been stuck wondering, but brushed it off. Rick looked to him in tentative confusion. "Laura came back into the cellblock when she was supposed to be on watch. She went grabbed her gloves. I didn't think her having them would be a problem since she's the only one who can use them."
"We tried to talk to her, but she didn't say anything." Carol's voice was urgent, more nervous than ever. That's when Rick finally figured out why he couldn't find her.
Laura had left.
Sprinting down the road, her feet kicking up loose rocks as she raced to her target. Laura's senses were flaring up as she followed the scent trail. She found it as she rushed down the road and she knew she was on the right path.
Without the need to stop and Merle lacking a vehicle, Laura would catch up quickly. She didn't need much else, she didn't ask anyone for permission, and she didn't waste her time searching the prison. She knew if Rick couldn't find Merle or Michonne in the prison already than he was long gone.
She could not stand for this, she would not wait around as Michonne was sent away to the Governor. She didn't know why he wanted Michonne, but it didn't matter.
Laura knew what he would do to her, she knew through experience what waited for Michonne in Woodbury. The torture Laura survived would be inflicted on Michonne and though she didn't know Michonne well; no one deserved that.
She had to be fast as she had no idea how long Merle and Michonne were gone for already. There was no way to tell if she was too late already.
Laura was driven by anger, betrayal, and a need to protect Michonne. She couldn't let anyone suffer how she suffered. The very idea that Rick would drove Laura that much harder.
Rick made this deal, he agreed to it. He went so far as to recruit Merle to do it, which was no surprise to Laura. Merle doing the dirty jobs for people was normal, she expected it from him.
She expected more from Rick, from Daryl. She sneered, angry at them, angry at the Governor. They betrayed Michonne who only helped the group since she arrived. She did not deserve to be delivered to the Governor just to save their own skin.
It wouldn't even work anyway. Laura knew Philip wouldn't make that deal, he just wanted the best chance to get his target and possibly ambush the others. It was a solid plan, one Philip had pulled off more than once. Deception was his modus operandi, stabbing someone in the back was second nature.
No matter even if Philip upheld the deal, it didn't excuse Rick from agreeing to it. He set the plan in motion, he contracted Merle to do it, and worse yet, Daryl had gone along with it.
This rage she held for Woodbury had now extended to the others at the prison. Whoever knew and allowed it to happen was a target of Laura's furious rampage. She had to deal with Merle first, she had to stop him from handing over Michonne.
Then she would deal with the people at the prison.
Fiery rage fueled her, it drove her well beyond her usual pace. She tore up the road until the scent grew thick and she knew she was close. There were walkers in the area all heading in the same direction telling Laura they had seen something worth following.
Merle and Michonne were close by and as Laura neared a collection of joined apartments, she knew they must've stopped. They had to at some point, they had to find a better way to travel. Out here it was dangerous, every single walker was another chance to be killed.
The buildings went on for a bit, all dark and their paint peeling away. No one had passed through this small area in a long time. It looked completely untouched, a good place to go scavenging if there were not more pressing matters.
The smell of the living was wafting through the breeze, it was heavy and the source not but fifty feet away.
As Laura reached the end of the housing units, she saw two figures by another cluster of small apartments. It was them and it appeared as though Merle was heading straight for a car parked outside. All of its wheels were still intact which was a promising sign and explained why he passed by the two others nearby.
She felt a knot forming in her stomach, anticipating rising in her chest like bile in her throat. She felt hurt and angry, but Merle was not the focus of her disappointment.
Laura did not run towards them, she approached neutral. She had no desire to fight about this, she only wanted to stop the deal from happening. Laura had no idea how far the meeting point was though she knew Merle was looking to take one of the cars, so it couldn't be too close.
It didn't take long for Michonne to spot Laura walking up. She would recognize the blue-skinned woman anywhere and momentarily wondered if she was in on the deal. While Merle was working on tying the wire to the wooden post he was interrupted by Laura.
"Merle," Laura called and his head snapped up to see her standing not far. "Rick changed his mind, the deal's off."
He grinned smugly, "I figured as much. He ain't got the balls to go through with it. I told my brother that, but he doesn't listen to me anymore." Merle seemed off even to Laura. He was taunting her with inflammatory remarks as usual. "Rick send you to stop me?"
"No, I came on my own." Laura shook her head slowly but looked to Michonne. "I didn't know about the deal until Rick told me you were missing. I'm sorry."
"Well, ain't that nice. You even got her on your side, huh." Merle cackled. Quickly, Merle's grin faded and he went back to tying Michonne's wire. "So you gonna' help me or not?"
"No, Merle. This isn't right." Laura objected, "I'm taking Michonne back to the prison. From there, she can decide what she wants to do. I'm not letting her go to Philip. I know what he'll do to her."
Though Merle did feel attached to Laura, he was more attached to his brother. The deal with the Governor was a critical opportunity to stop the fighting. Even if it was only a chance, Merle was prepared to make that decision for Rick to protect his brother.
"That cop ain't got the stomach to do what's gotta' be done. This wasn't my plan, girl. Maybe you should reevaluate your friends." He stopped tying the wire again, this time expressing his anger towards Laura. It wasn't unusual for him to do so, he often switched between being amicable with her to being overly aggressive.
This time, Laura did agree with Merle. "Yeah, I know. But right now you're going to let Michonne go and I'm going to take her back to the prison."
"Don't you get it?" Merle barked at her, his face snarling mad. "The Governor's gonna' roll up on that prison an' kill every one of those dumbasses. They only got my brother, Rick, maybe those other idiots. They can't fight worth a shit! They're nothing compared to what's about to hit them."
"Merle." Laura took a step forward, "I'm taking Michonne back, that wasn't a request."
"I'm not gonna' sit on my ass, girl. The Governor's got the numbers and he's got bigger guns. They might've taken the armory, but they didn't get the big guns. Ya' know damn well the Governor's not just gonna throw a few rifles in; he's gonna' spend everything he's got to take the prison." Merle and Laura both knew it and Laura was willing to fight despite it.
Merle was not. He sighed as he struggled with the decision. "I'm not doing this for Rick or those other assholes. They'd deliver my ass to the Governor if he asked, ain't none of them give a shit about me. I'm doing it for my brother, 'cause he got it in his head that he's gotta' stick with 'em... He won't leave, he won't listen. I gotta' keep my baby brother safe even if he doesn't like it."
"Daryl would be a lot happier if you just stuck with the group. If you worked with us and stopped trying to fight everyone." She pleaded with Merle, trying to convince him to come back with her. "I want you there, Daryl wants you there. No one hates you, they hate that the things you do to try and make everyone angry."
He fought back, rejecting her and the internal struggle in him. "You think you know shit. You don't know shit 'bout me or my brother." Merle spat back with a venomous glare. "You think just cause we were out there with Woodbury breathing down our necks that we got some kinda' bond. I got some news for you; we ain't shit."
Laura held back from a harsher reaction. Merle was trying to get a rise out of her, trying to push her intentionally. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "You do this all the time, don't you? Whenever someone shows you they care about you, you just try to hurt them. You helped me, protected me, cared for me. Now that I can talk and tell you what that meant to me, you're running away from it. Stop running. Come back with me."
If anything could possibly stoke the fire of rage and hurt in Merle, it was everything Laura just said. Instead of contemplating her words, he reacted fiercely. Merle attempted to push Laura's buttons and failed. Instead, Laura managed to slam every single button of his. When Merle was hurt, he lashed out to hurt them back.
Merle's expression turned dark. "I didn't protect you from shit. Maybe your brain's still a little messed up, but I remember. I remember them beatin' the hell outta' you, seeing you all bloody and torn up. They really ruined you good, the boys took their time with you. I gotta' wonder why you do whatever Philip tells you to do."
Laura shrank, her body rigid. She hadn't seen Merle so angry before, even when he was pissed off he never was this vicious. Then again, he didn't have his brother on the line.
"They spread your legs and fucked you good. I gotta' wonder, did ya' like it? I bet you couldn't wait to open your legs for 'em. You deserved everythin' they gave ya'." Merle stepped towards her, grinning as he saw her growing more distressed. "They broke you in proper, huh. I shoulda' let that boy bend you over. He had a stronger stomach than me. I couldn't see myself fuckin' a corpse. 'Cause that's all you're worth to 'em. A dead girl with a tight-"
Laura swung, her fist connected with his jaw. Merle stumbled back, the sucker punch took him a second to register. When he looked back up to her with a cut on his lip Merle swung back with his metal arm and knife on the end. Laura barely ducking under the swipe while watching his other hand. Merle was enraged and driven by Laura opening wounds he wasn't able to face. Laura was already chasing him with a vendetta against Woodbury. The two colliding violently was bound from the start.
She had to step back, put some distance between them. Pulling away from Merle's swings, she clicked the metal claws together as Merle raised the knife in his hand up ready to fight.
Guest:
I feel that. The Grady line felt a bit strange. Like I understand it and I'm glad Beth got to stand on her own, but Grady felt weird. There's definitely a lot of paths the OC's can change, but we will see what they can realistically change. :)
No apologies needed! I'm enjoying reading your reviews. I absolutely agree with your points. There's a lot around the Grady/Beth storyline that's strange and kinda offputting at times. I'd like to see what I can write around the time as the prison is brought down, but that will be a long time away! There's a LOT of chapters planned between now and then!
The Whisperers are so cool! I agree with that too, something small can make big changes, but something big can also make small changes. It's all within the realm of possibility. But who is alive and who is dead by the time the group reunites after the prison is up in the air! I'm excited to reach there and work with the freedom allotted.
Guest(part2):
I never actually thought about that. I guess it just went under my radar, but that's also interesting. When we get to that part I'll definitely have Maggie show more care for Beth. I couldn't imagine she wasn't concerned about her sister especially after Hershel died.
Keeping Beth alive can be difficult in a lot of stories since Beth's path after the prison is a challenging one to alter. I still do not like the Grady storyline, but I won't give any spoilers if that still happens or not! ;)
But I'm of a similar mindset. A lot about Beth after the prison could've been improved on in the show.
Gemini's Revenge:
Oooo! I prefer reading fanfiction on my phone, I like the paragraphs more and the options are given to alter the style and spacing. My eyes don't see so good lol
My fav dating sim is Mystic Messenger, but that's Korean. I really liked it and it's story-based too! Plus the fandom for it is MASSIVE so there's plenty of fan content to work through :)
Oh wow, all of my original favs are lost when Quizilla closed. Which I suppose was for the best, those fanfics were a m e s s. My tastes have changed dramatically too, everything I liked when I was younger now seems boring to me. Well, not everything but a lot!
I tend to prefer FFN here because when I was on Quizilla, FFN showed up and all the greatest writers were going there. It was very intimidating as a new writer. Plus, back then the community was fairly toxic. "Flames" weren't just people going "I didn't like that", they got really vicious and resulted in a lot of people getting in trouble. But the community is so much better now, though I still feel nervous due to my poor experience in my early days.
I agree, strawberry ice cream is an unacceptable flavor. I hate it. And while I can tolerate straight flavors, I tend to prefer the mixes and vanilla. :)
Ooooo, aww gosh, you're too sweet :)))
I prefer zombie storylines too. Probably obvious lol
It's just more fun for me, there's a lot of things to do with it. Since I started Curative I found the usual OC or OG fanfics just stopped grabbing my attention. Which sounds a bit conceited I know, but I don't mean it like that. I just really have fun with Curative. :x
Oh gosh, you're seriously too kind to me. I try to improve, though I readily admit any faults people point out. I'm always happy to accept and learn since I'm just a hobbyist, there's always a lot to do! I appreciate that I hope my story is engaging. I want people to feel like there's something to read, something going on, and something to get invested in.
I'm a GIANT sap when it comes to stories I get immersed in. I cry, laugh, feel engulfed by crippling fear because I'm a big ol' scaredy cat. I really want people to feel that way when reading Curative, so I always hope to improve that area. Especially when it comes to Laura, it's very important to me to get her right and make people feel what she feels.
I'm seriously so floored by you. I'm embarrassed but that makes me so crazy happy I do not have the words to express it. Especially since I usually write people depressed or in pain lol
It's just incredible and unbelievable and amazing to me that anyone likes my story that much. Hell, even half that much is stunning. I'm sad TWD fandom is fizzling out, but I'm still so happy to see familiar readers coming back. It feels so surreal.
I'm surprised it keeps your attention too! I'm surprised anyone reads Curative honestly. I didn't think anyone would like it. I actually thought people would hate it and I'd get a lot of hate for it.
I do my best to balance it all and I admit I do fall short sometimes. I want that so badly, to be real, immerse the reader, create real character development that's satisfying, and write an engaging story. I do admit to the OOC behaviors at times, I try to make it believable as best I can. Like you said though, sometimes it's necessary. I'm always happy to take criticism on that though! Any improvements I can make I am happy to do so :)
Black Flag was surprising to me because the series was starting to die off after Revelations. When Black Flag dropped it was like a revival. Then Odyssey too and it was like a whole new game.
Fallout 4 is so good, so satisfying to play and I mod it so much it breaks lol I also have a hard time committing to one group or the other. I think there's a mod for that too that creates a storyline that allows you to realistically work with all groups. From what I hear it's really good too! I haven't tried it though.
BONE CRUSHERS BONE EATERS THAT SHIT IS HARDCORE I LOVE IT. You did?! That's awesome. Aside from the chances of saying Bearded Vultures, I also think presenting anything is amazing. I'm terribly shy lol
I'm genuinely happy you ask me questions. A lot of people don't talk to me any more than messaging me: "Hey this sucked" or "When are you gonna do this."
1.) It's hard to pick, but I can tell you exactly which ones I hate most.
Any and all brachycephalic dogs, I think breeding them should be banned. I've worked with them enough (and I work in the same building as a veterinarian office) to know that they suffer their entire lives. I feel so sad for them, it hurts my heart to see them every time.
If I had to choose one breed, I'd be biased and say Greyhound. Since I got mine, Tally, I have been amazed by her. I've seen a few Greyhounds at work and they're all incredibly sweet and gentle. Perfect dogs, so patient and kind. They don't learn commands well and aren't very bright, but they are so good-natured and so healthy!
2.) A few do. I met one of my best friends here on FFN. I liked her story, she liked mine. We bonded over time then I found out she lived exactly 45 minutes away from me! It was so lucky we started hanging out together and it's been wonderful. That was in about 2010? Gosh it's been so long!
Another one of my best friends knows. He's very supportive and loves what I do. I met him in a video game called "The Isle" about 3 years ago. He's a really good guy and very sweet. I showed him the first revised chapter of Curative and he was very very thrilled to share our creative hobbies!
My husband is cool with it, but I think he still sees it as a bit strange. All in all, he's still supportive!
3.) Soft. When I jump in bed I want to disappear into a soft bed that makes me feel like a big hug. :)
4.) As I mentioned above, the response has been astounding. I've never had such a popular story before. I hope to build on that, but I already mentioned this sooooo...
Curative was just something I wrote because I was sick and depressed. I wanted to write and express it, while Laura is unique in herself there's a few pieces of her life I share. Not because I wanted to write a self-insert because while there are some similarities between myself and Laura, there are a lot more differences that are both good and bad. I wanted her to be believable so I used my own knowledge to make that possible.
The best advice I was given when I started writing characters is "The best lie is one wrapped in truth." All authors write about what they know and expand on that. The believable sells the unbelievable. So I used that to my advantage.
My style improvements compared to Chapter 1 to Chapter 70 has amazed me as well. I never thought I grew at all, but looking back there's a lot of things I learned along the way I never noticed. It makes me happy to know I can improve and look forward to improving more.
I'm thankful people have been supportive. I'm thankful that I've been given this chance to write something this fun and engaging.
But the thing I'm most surprised about is how writing Curative helped me as a person. Which sounds super cheesy and stupid, I know. But it's taught me self-discipline, taught me to accept criticism without feeling hurt by my failures, it taught me that my failures are just opportunities to grow so I'm more comfortable with them.
Laura is my baby OC because writing her has allowed me to test my limits creatively and see if I can reach other people. She's my finest creation and I don't think I'll ever have another like her. In a selfish way writing her did allow me to vent my frustrations and personal struggles. Laura doesn't really share a lot of them with me, but being able to write her did. I fear that might make people think she's a self-insert, but that was never my intention. Mostly just common life stuff is similar and a few experiences.
Learning to write people with different personalities also helped me sympathize with people that may not have the same views I do too. It challenged me to think objectively about others and how they feel, even if I have no idea why they feel that way.
This is probably all very cringy and weird, but that's my most honest answer. I'm totally willing to accept any cringe that comes from it lol
Questions for you!
1.) Do you have a favorite artist? Drawing, painting, writing, poetry, fanfiction, producer, architect; from anything at all.
2.) Spicy, sweet, or savory!
3.) Do you have a preferred chapter length? I know some people like 2k-4k and some love 7k-10k! (this chapter is 9.5k)
I apologize for the long reply, I try to be as thorough as possible when answering since I cannot respond until the next chapter is published. I'll try to shorten them if they're too much! :)
Thank you again for reading and reviewing. I always look forward to hearing from you!