Chapter 6

Movement at Sam's side had him jerking awake ready to defend himself. He blinked rapidly until he could see and saw Jessica get up and stroll toward the bathroom. He relaxed back into the mattress as their afternoon romp in bed played out in his mind. He smiled to himself thinking he was a lucky man when another image invaded his thoughts. He saw an older man in a baseball cap, jeans, flannel shirt, and vest, walking by a stack of crushed vehicles. Before he could actually grasp the image and hold on to it, it was gone. Sam rubbed his temples and was brought from thoughts by a female voice.

"Care to join me in the shower?" Jessica called to him from the bathroom doorway. "I could use someone to wash my back," she teased in a flirty voice.

"You don't have to ask me twice," Sam replied throwing back the covers and jumping from the bed. He was by Jessica's side in several long strides and pulled her to him to kiss her before backing them into the bathroom for a shower and maybe a little something else.

Jessica came out after their shower and got out shorts, briefs, and tank top to put on. She sat down on the bed and towel dried her hair before using a large toothed comb to brush out the tangles. She studied Sam when he came out and went to his dresser pulling out the drawers and searching for clothes like he didn't know where they were. He slipped on briefs, sleep pants, and a T-shirt looking around for a moment like he was sort of lost.

"I don't know about you, but I'm hungry and I'm going to see what we have in the fridge to fix for dinner," Jessica announced before stepping back into the bathroom to hang her damp towel up.

"I'll help," Sam offered smiling warmly at her. He took her hand, and they made their way to the kitchen. "What can I do?"

"This is a change," Jessica commented. "You've never wanted to help me cook before. You were always too busy with work and getting home late. I haven't seen much of you lately," she continued looking at him with sad eyes.

"Well, I should have," Sam replied as a worried look crossed his face. "I shouldn't be ignoring you like that."

"Since you took today off work, are you still going to be able to come to my appointment tomorrow morning?"

"Appointment?" Sam faltered over his words as he searched his memory trying to figure out what she meant.

"Yes, I told you about it last week. The doctor wants to do an ultrasound to check on the baby."

"Baby…" Sam squeaked as his mouth went dry and he stared at Jessica in disbelief.

"Yes, since I'm through my first trimester this time and things seem okay, I thought we'd tell your Dad he's going to be a grandfather."

Sam pulled Jessica to him and kissed her gently as he let his hand rest on her stomach, not believing he was going to be a father. Then it hit him what Jessica had said, 'this time'. He looked into her concerned eyes trying to gather his thoughts.

"You said this time," Sam asked softly.

"Yes, I miscarried with our first child," Jessica whispered laying her head on his chest. "You don't remember? I was devastated and didn't know if I would ever get over it," she responded in a hurt voice. "Was it not important enough for you to remember? I was six weeks along with I miscarried. The doctor said it was no one's fault; it happens with first pregnancies in a lot of women. I still blamed myself, but you told me it wasn't my fault and had me see a counselor, but you wouldn't see one yourself. You wouldn't talk about it to anyone. You kept everything bottled up inside of you and shut me out. It made me feel like you didn't want the baby. I was really worried about you."

"I'm so sorry," Sam mumbled into her hair as he kissed the side of her face. "I don't know why I'm having this memory loss like this and do want this baby more than anything." He couldn't stop the tears that filled his eyes and wiped them away before she could see them. "You sit down, and I'll fix dinner for us," he told her moving to a chair and pulling it out for her.

"Are you sure? Maybe you should see our doctor and have him run some test."

"No!" Sam barked harsher than he meant to. "I'm fine honey, really I am. If it gets worse, then I'll make an appointment."

"Alright, if you promise to do that for me."

"I will; I should be taking care of you and our baby. I'll be there tomorrow, just tell me where and when."

"I don't know what's come over you, but I'm liking it."

Sam opened the fridge and looked into it to see what was there. He opened the freezer studying the contents before pulling something out and sitting it aside. He got out the makings for a salad and went to work fixing dinner for them as his mind reeled about the news of the baby. Something was floating on the outskirts of his mind that had him doubting what was happening. There were some things that didn't make sense, but he couldn't put it all together to figure it out right now. He shook his head to rid him of these thoughts. He finished fixing the meal and sat plates at the small breakfast table and sat with Jessica to enjoy it.

spn

Sam walked through the automatic doors and looked around trying to figure out where to go. He stepped to a desk with a woman sitting in front of a computer and asked for directions to the imaging center. She politely gave them and as she pointed to the right and smiled. Sam thanked her and headed down a hallway and took a couple of turns before coming to a small waiting room and finding Jessica waiting on him.

"Hi honey," Jessica greeted him as she stood for a moment.

"Hey," Sam replied kissing her cheek and taking her hand. "Have they done anything yet?"

"No, I just had to fill out some paperwork and they told me it'd be fifteen minutes before they were ready."

"Okay," he nodded as his knee started to bounce slightly and he looked anxiously around feeling out of place and nervous.

"It's okay Baby. My doctor said everything is looking great and since I'm through the first trimester it's less likely I'll miscarry with this one."

"You are so brave and strong. It just makes me love you more," Sam mumbled to her taking her hand and holding it tightly. He couldn't imagine what she had gone through losing a child, their child, and he was so upset with himself for not remembering all this. What was wrong with him? How could he be so heartless?

"Jessica," a nurse technician called from a doorway across the room.

"Here," Jessica replied standing up and pulling Sam with her.

"Good morning you two," she greeted them. "My name is Jordan and I'll be doing your ultrasound today. If you'll come with me."

"Okay," Jessica told her as they followed her down the hall to an exam room.

"Okay, if you'll remove your shirt and slip on the gown on the table, we'll get started. I'll step out and let you get ready."

After the nurse technician left, Jessica removed her top and slipped on the short gown before sitting on the table. Sam took a seat in the chair by the table, and they waited for her to come back. It wasn't long before a soft tap at the door alerted them she was back.

"Shall we get started?" Jordan said. "If you will lie down Jessica and raise your gown." Jordan took a seat by the ultrasound machine and turned it on as Jessica got comfortable. "I'm going to put some gel on your stomach, but don't worry, we warm it." She squirted gel onto Jessica's stomach before taking the wand and running it through the gel. She looked at the screen as she slowly moved the wand around, looking for the fetus.

Sam's eyes were glued to the screen as he watched the strange picture fade in and out. He looked at Jessica in surprise when a swishing, beating sound started.

"That is the beat of the baby's heart," Jordan told them as she moved the wand and pressed slightly into Jessica's stomach. "Here we go guys, this is your baby."

"Wow," Jessica whispered when she saw the small fetus that was about three inches long right now. There was enough definition to tell it was a baby and she could just make out a beating heart. "Sam, do you see our child?"

"Yes, yes," Sam replied letting out the breath he had been holding. He couldn't believe his eyes as he stared at the screen. He grinned when he saw movement and watched the tiny speck that was the heart beating at a fast rate. Sam took Jessica's hand and kissed it, not believing how lucky he was to have found her. How could his life be more perfect? It seemed he had what he had dreamed of when he was in college.

"I'm going to take some measurements and I'll be able to give you an estimated due date." Jessica pressed buttons on the machine and moved the wand taking her measurements. When she was done, she handed Jessica a towel to wipe her stomach and ran the program for the due date. "Okay, here we go…It looks like your due date is around November 2. Of course, with this being your first one, your little one could be early or late. I'll print a couple of pictures for you to take with you. I bet you have family who would love to see the baby."

Sam sat up straight and paled when he heard the date knowing something very bad had happened on then. Something that changed his life forever and he couldn't quite grasp what it was.

"Sam are you okay?" Jessica asked him when she saw his reaction to the date.

"I'm fine," Sam replied swallowing hard and shaking his head gently.

"I'll let you get dressed and give you some brochures," Jordan told them. "The front desk will set you up for your next ultrasound in a few months and you'll be able to see how much your baby has grown. And if the little scamp cooperates, I might be able to tell the sex if you would like to know. Here you go, your first photos of your baby."

"Thank you, Jordan." Jessica accepted the two photos and handed them to Sam as she sat up.

"I'll let you get dressed and get that information for you. You can meet me at the front desk and get your next appointment set up."

"We will." Jessica nodded giving Sam a glance when he didn't answer. He seemed lost in thought as he stared at the photos in his hands. She was worried about him and wasn't sure what to do about it. After putting her top back on and straightening her clothes, Jessica stood and reached out a hand to Sam. "Honey, I'm ready."

"Okay, right," Sam stumbled over his words as he got up and pulled himself back to reality. He followed Jessica from the room to the front desk and waited while she got the next appointment set up. When she was done, they headed back to the front doors.

Sam caught sight of a strange man that was walking by others who were milling around. He stopped and stared hard at him, thinking he didn't fit in here. He noticed his arms that had tattoos running up and down them. There was something not right about him, but he didn't know what it was.

"Sam, what is it?" Jessica asked when Sam faltered and stared at the people in the main room like he recognized someone. "Sam?"

Sam started to walk toward the stranger but was bumped by someone and apologized to them. He looked back up and the stranger was gone. He quickly searched the room but couldn't find the stranger anywhere and looked outside trying to spot him.

"Did you see him?" he asked Jessica. "That man dressed in worn, ragged clothes. He was short, had brown shaggy hair and tattoos on his arms."

"No honey, I didn't see anyone. Sam, do you want to see a doctor while we're here? Maybe they can help you."

"No, no, I'm fine. It's nothing," Sam tried to assure her. "Honest honey, I'm fine. I'm overjoyed with seeing our baby. It is amazing."

"Since things seem okay, why don't we take Dad out for dinner and give him the big news?"

"That sounds like a good idea. I'll run by the garage and see if he's available tonight. I'm sure he'll be very excited about becoming a grandfather."

"I need to run honey," Jessica told him kissing his cheek. "I'll see you tonight at home."

"Alright," Sam replied as they walked outside to the parking lot. He hugged her again before they parted ways. Sam went to the Impala and unlocked the door to drop into the driver's seat. He had to sit there for a few minutes as he let everything sink in before starting the car and heading into town to find the garage his Dad ran.

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Sam drove slowly down the street checking out both sides looking for the garage. He drove past the building before seeing the sign and had to turn around so he could pull into the parking lot. He pulled into an empty spot and shut the car off. He stepped from the car and looked at the large sign across the front, 'Winchester Mechanics'. There were open bay doors to one side and Sam strolled toward them hoping to find his father inside.

When Sam entered the garage, he stopped short when he saw a guy leaning into an engine bay working on it. The guy slowly rose up and looked over at Sam who was staring in shock at him with his mouth hanging open.

"Dean…" Sam mumbled as he looked his brother over and seeing life had not been good to him. He looked older than he actually was with wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. There was a scar that ran down the side of his face and he saw tattoos on one of his arms. His hair was dirty blonde and badly cut and his green eyes were hooded with secrets that were never spoken.

"You've got a lot of nerve you sonofabitch," Dean growled at him as he closed the space and punched Sam in the face making him stumble backwards and was only stopped by a car that he slammed into. "What the hell are you doing here anyway? You've always been too good to step foot into Dad's garage. You thought it was beneath you…All high and mighty now that you're a fancy lawyer," he sneered. "You couldn't even take the time to come see me while I was locked away. Not even once."

Sam caught himself on the car behind him and tasted blood in his mouth. He wiped his hand across his mouth and saw blood smeared on it. He looked back at his brother in shock at what he did and tried to digest what Dean had said to him.

"I didn't know you were working here," Sam replied since he couldn't think of anything else to say. "It's good to see you Dean," Sam told him as he straightened up and stepped back toward him. He held out his hand for Dean to shake and finally dropped it when Dean made no move to take it as he glared daggers at Sam.

"You're not my brother or family anymore, not since you sent me to jail. I don't want to ever see you again." Dean stalked away, angrily throwing a wrench at the workbench, and disappeared through a side door amidst the loud clang and clatter it made as it and several other tools fell to the floor.

Sam stood there not sure what to do as his brother left and a deep sadness swept over him. His face hurt from being punched and he touched it gently.

"Sam, what are you doing here?" John asked when he came out of the office to see what the commotion was.

"I was looking for you," Sam replied.

"Why is your lip bleeding?" John asked looking around for his oldest son and not seeing him.

"Dean…" Sam sighed letting his voice fade away.

"I never thought to tell you he was working for me since you never visited me here," John stated.

"Why wouldn't I come here and why didn't I visit Dean while he was in prison?" Sam questioned.

"You never liked coming here, even when you were young. I can count on one hand the number of times you did. It was like you were ashamed of what I did," John admitted looking at Sam who had cast his gaze to the ground ashamed of what he was hearing. "I figured you didn't want people to know I was a lowly mechanic, but I didn't worry about it. Mary and I did ask you several times to come with us to see Dean, but you refused. You said Dean got what he deserved, and you didn't want to have anything to do with him. You thought it might harm your reputation since you were trying to get hired by that big law firm. Is any of this coming back to you?"

"No, I would never do that to Dean or to you. That's not me," Sam mumbled as he frowned and thought hard. "That is not me…It's not…"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Dean. I take it he wasn't happy to see you."

"Hardly," Sam sighed in resignation touching his swelling lip. "I came by to see if you'd like to have dinner with Jessica and me tonight?"

"Well, I was going to take Dean out for dinner. I don't think he's taking care of himself. I offered to let him stay with me since I'm alone now, but he wouldn't do it. The place he's living in is a dump and in the shady part of town."

"Bring him along. Maybe I can get him to talk to me…I don't like how things are between us. It was never like this…This isn't right…" Sam surmised as he shook his head.

"I don't know Sam. You two were never that close growing up. You couldn't be in the same room without getting into a fight. Sometimes it got physical."

"I need to try. I've got to make this up to him and show him that I do care about him. He's my big brother and took care of me all my life."

"Sam what are you talking about? Dean hated you and would barely talk to you back then. He never took care of you."

"He did, I know it…" Sam mumbled trying to convince himself, as he stepped outside and looked across the street. There he was again, the stranger he had seen in the hospital. He was standing on the sidewalk staring at him. "Who are you?" Sam asked as he walked across the parking lot and into the street without looking at the traffic coming.

"Stop! You stupid idiot!" a familiar voice screamed at him before grabbing Sam by the jacket and jerking him out of the path of oncoming traffic.

Sam's breath was knocked out of him as he fell to the sidewalk and grimaced when he scraped his arm and bruised his side. He looked over at his brother lying beside him with a sour look on his face. Sam looked across the street and the stranger was gone again like he was never there.

"Boys!" John yelled running to their sides to see if they were okay. "Are you two alright?"

"Yeah, I need to get back to work," Dean mumbled getting up and limping back to the garage without giving them another glance.

"Sam, let me help you up," John offered holding out a hand to Sam. "Do you want me to look at your arm?"

"Thanks Dad, and no, I'll clean it when I get home," Sam grunted taking his offered hand and letting him pull him from the ground. He rolled his shoulders and twisted his neck that hurt slightly. "Try to get Dean to come Dad. I think there's hope for us."

"I'll try, but no promises."

"We'll come by and pick you up around six tonight, is that okay?"

"Of course, Sam. I'll see you then."

Sam when back to the Impala and saw Dean glaring at him as he got in. This should have been Dean's car; he was sure of it. An overwhelming feeling that it was never meant to be his car swept through Sam's mind. He pulled from the parking lot and headed toward the home he shared with Jessica. Thoughts tumbled around in his head of a different life, one where he and his brother were very close, and they even worked together. He saw weird things that he couldn't explain and had a pounding headache by the time he got back to the house.

A/N: The real world is bleeding into Sam's dream world and confusing him. He can't believe Dean and him are not even talking, let alone are brothers. Will Sam be able to figure it out before it's too late? Reviews/Comments would be great. NC