JJ woke up and immediately knew it was one of his bad days. The sheet beneath him felt really rough on his shirtless arms and the tee he was wearing felt like sandpaper. He got out of bed pretty quickly to make breakfast with hopes that the feeling of being overwhelmed would go away with some food. It didn't.
He turns quickly to the doorway when he hears the familiar footsteps of John B. Upon seeing his friend, John B asks "Bad day?" sympathy lacing his voice.
JJ only nods. His fingers on both hands start tapping on each other in rapid motion, repeating the order over and over again, while rocking himself back and forth from toes to heels lightly. It was his nervous swim, John B notices. The pogues were supposed to be coming over today because the huge storm the previous day had pushed all of the fish in their direction, they were planning a massive fishing trip for the last 2 weeks.
"Hey it's okay man, we can call it off. I'm sure they'll understand." John B says, already reaching for his phone.
JJ nods a no before speaking, continuing his rocking as his fingers come to a rest by his side. "It's fine, they can't know. I'm such a fuck-up" John B gapes at the last bit. "Jay, you're not a fuck-up. It's just part of who you are. Everyones different and unique, plus I don't think they'll mind." JJ ignores him and just paces back and forth, once he returns he starts the conversation again.
"Please? It'll be fine." John B sighs because of his stubborn friend but listens.
...
An hour later, they're all gathered on the Heyward's boat, heading further out to start some fishing.
John B carefully glanced at JJ every once in a while for signs of change, or a possible meltdown that he had dubbed it. The only change was that JJ was visibly stimming , although he was trying to mask it, John B could see through the act.
"Yo Jay why do you look so scared?" Kiara shouted from the bow. JJ jerked his head to her and stopped clenching and unclenching his fists in rapid motions.
"Nothing Kie, any fish up there?" He shouts back, changing the subject quickly. They don't seem to catch on, but John B steps closer.
"You need to head back? Meltdown coming up?" JJ nods his head quickly before whispering harshly. "Don't call it that."
John B stops the boat a little closer to the land than planned and just made a lame excuse saying that the fish would be closer.
It only took about 2 hours for JJ to start falling apart. He starts pacing the boat back and forth, rocking it. Pope complains that he's scaring the fish away but doesn't do anything to stop him.
"Why are you pacing anyways dude? This trip was like, your idea and now you're scaring the fish away. Not that I'm complaining, less dead fish for me to see." Kiara interrupts the silence. JJ just ignores her and approaches John B with quick steps.
"Meltdown?" He questions calmly. JJ nods frantically, he's gone nonverbal from being overwhelmed. His hands were flapping close to his chest, signifying the quickly impending stress.
"Hey what's wrong with him?" Pope asks, observing them from a distance.
John B just kind of ignores the question. "We're gonna head back cause JJ's done for today. You and Kie can come back out, ya know and do the things that two people that don't like each other do." John B winks at him, already putting the boat and gear and driving back to the Chateau. Pope brushes off the comment and stands up, balancing with the help of a railing.
"What's wrong with him" He asks quieter, once they're out of earshot.
"He's having a meltdown, I don't know why but every once in a while JJ has these days where everything bothers him and he needs to like...stim to get it out. I'm not sure if it's part of Autism, ADHD, or something else I've never even heard of but please please please don't comment on it." John B turns to face Pope, his locks of hair blowing into his eyes. "Don't treat him any different, he'd hate you. Just let it be for now." John B is practically pleading.
"Of course, how can I help?" Pope asks eagerly, facing where JJ was sitting in the back near Kie, who was staring at them with a concerned look after examining JJ. He was sat with his legs pulled to his chest and his eyes were squeezed shut because the wind was blowing his hair wildly around his face, very uncomfortable for him. His hand was wrapped around his stomach and scratching the bicep of his other arm, his nails were too short to do any damage though so John B didn't want to intervene.
Kie walks over to them and gets the gist from Pope, he finishes just as they pull up to the dock.
"Hey JJ?" John B asks very carefully and quietly to JJ, who was rocking himself from the seat he was sat in. His hands returned to the flapping motions but he gives a long hum to acknowledge John B's question.
"We're back at the Chateau and we're gonna head back inside, wanna come with us cause I've got your blanket and we could eat some ham sandwiches if you're up for it." John B says softly. Kie and Pope watch from a distance but they are surprised at this new soft version of John B they've never seen before.
JJ nods after an awkward moment of silence, standing up smoothly and stepping onto the wooden dock.
John B knows better than to touch JJ on the walk through the screen door, the other follow his lead. Opening and holding the door open for their friend.
JJ hums harshly, his eyes searching wildly before John B hands him the ratty and torn navy blue wighted blanket. In a flash, the fabric is wrapped around his thin frame and he shuffles over to the pullout couch, kicking his shoes off by the doorway. He curls up with the blanket still wrapped around him, seemingly calmer then before. The weight grounds him and gives him a sense of solidarity, that's how JJ had described it to John B once before. It obviously wasn't an intense meltdown like the two had gone through before, leaving JJ punching himself and screaming to the point John B intervened even though it sometimes did more harm then good.
They group decides to leave JJ be on the couch in order to provide some privacy, they head to the kitchen and make ham sandwiches as promised.
"What is that?" Kie immediately asks, keeping her tone low though to avoid JJ hearing her.
"We're not really sure. We've just kind of lived with it. He thought it was just normal but I think he's probably on the spectrum for somethings. I've tried googling it before but I don't want to just throw out a diagnosis ya know? He has meltdowns on some days like today but usually the only signs he shows are his stims and sensory issues. I'm honestly surprised you haven't noticed, especially you Pope" John B says very nonchalantly, shrugging while layering ham on top of a piece of white bread. "We talked about it and he didn't want to get a diagnosis because then they'd prescribe him to meds, which he knew he couldn't afford anyways."
"And decided not to tell us about it?" Kiara was obviously getting mad, her voice raising in pitch. "We could've avoided this if we knew, probably rescheduled your little fishing trip." John B turns to her with his hands up. "Look Kie, JJ didn't want you guys to know because he thinks that whatever it is makes him a fuck-up. Seeing as you guys and me are his only friends, he doesn't want you guys seeing him that way. So DON'T treat him differently okay. It's still the same JJ"
Kiara is silent after that, making awkward eye contact with Pope as John B leaves carrying two ham sandwiches into the living room. There are two other finished ones waiting on the counter.
JJ had calmed down quite a bit as John B arrived back to check in on him. He was rocking himself slowly as his eyes slide up to meet his friend.
"Hey bubba ya feelin' better? I've got some sandwiches for you." John B says softly, using the same voice as before. For some reason, it breaks Kie's heart to see JJ being talked to like this. He resembled a wounded animal with his wide and innocent blue eyes, even though she knew they were far from innocent.
"Mhmm." JJ pauses, a hand sneaking out of the tattered and stained blanket. "Ham?" He questions softly.
John B smiles. "Yeah, with mustard you weirdo." JJ smiles and grabs the sandwich that had been offered. JJ takes a cautious bite and eats the sandwich slowly.
"So wanna watch a movie?" Pope asks, trying to lessen the obvious tension between JJ and them.
With a nod from John B, Pope flicks on the television and they gather around the couch, careful of getting too close to JJ because they didn't want to overwhelm him again.
...
A couple days later, it was just John B and JJ chillin' at the Chateau, when the door squeaks open. Kiara struts in wtih Pope on her tail.
"Guess what we've got!" She shouts, lifting a white cardboard box into the air with some effort. "It's for you JJ" Pope says, smiling largely.
JJ grins and opens the box. The second he feels the fabric, soft and kind of fuzzy but not overbearingly so, he grabs the entire item and jumps up and down, holding what was revealed to be a brand new weighted blanket that was colored a deep forest green. JJ holds it to his face and lets the feeling wash over him, without realizing it he starts spinning in smalls circles while still grinning into the fabric.
He looks up at his friends with the biggest and bluest eyes they could ever imagine. He runs the couple steps before hugging both of them. "Thanks guys so so so much! I love it." He is muffled by the way he talked into their shoulders. They only smile and rub his back in return. John B watches from the distance with a proud smile on his face.
omg it's so long and not at all like how I intended. geez.