THE BEST OF ME

Chapter 8: LOOKING PAST THE UNDERNEATH

Previously:

"Wotcher," She greeted with a smile and the two boys greeted her back, "Excited for Christmas break?"

Bill nodded enthusiastically while a far off look made its way to Remus' features. 'Christmas...' He thought before shaking his head. It isn't time to be sad now, he had spend four years of his life being alone, he should be used to it by now.

Looking forward, he begun listening to pofessor Sprouts' lesson on how to take care of a Sneezing Plant. However, he couldn't focus on the lesson, his mind was somewhere else and he didn't even registered the sad sigh he had released from his lips.

"..."

"You know, we should asked Bill, if he would like to join our little book club." Exclaimed Tonks while setting the books down with a flop and Remus closed the book he was reading with so much force, he quirked a surprise eyebrow at that.

Shaking his head he asked, "Oh why so?"

The young Hufflepuff shrugged her shoulders, "He might be feeling left out." She answered, sitting down besides him and turning on the first page of the book she chose to read. A small frown made his way in his lips; with out realizing it, he begun to speak.

"..."

It's fine," He began, his green orbs glancing at her before shyly turning back to the book he was reading, "Bill, doesn't even like to read." He sighed, "And besides—" He stops for a little bit, his head dropping down; as, a result his brown locks fell down on his eyes.

"..."

"I like it when it's just you and me..."

"..."

He turned around to find Tonks with her hand raise, "We make a cool team!" She exclaimed and the young boy raised an eyebrow at her raised hand, and he realized what she wants.

He gave her a high five, "We do make a great team." He said softly.

"..."

"She sounds like a lovely woman that mother of yours." He complimented Ms. Tonks and her smile turned genuine, "Yeah..." She muttered, pausing a little bit and gazing up at his eyes, before speaking again, "Thankyou, Remus."

"..."

"Anytime, Nymphadora."

Every part of his body felt heavy, like heavy shackles had bind his arms and legs; then, followed by a long chain attached to a heavy metal ball. His face went pale, nausea struck him and all he wants to do was drop on the floor and vomit, but he's used to it. This kind of battles, he had fought before, the reason why he was doing the training that was ingrained in his mind by his old pack.

At that thought, his eyes widened and a whimper escaped his lips, as different images of different kinds of people both men and woman, ranging at the age of twenty to thirty appeared in his mind.

He felt his head throbbed at the memories of his old pack, the metallic smell of blood purged his nostrils and he almost puked his breakfast. 'Bury them, bury them!' He chanted over and over in his head, as flashes of corpses of his old pack appeared in his mind and a man stood in the middle of those bodies.

He felt himself growl at the image of the man in his memory, his large body standing tall; covered in blood and his sharp row of teeth was split into a sadistic grin and smirk.

'Relax,' he tells himself, but his temper only grew, 'Just relax!' His breathing became uneven, his eyes were still dilated and his bloodlust overflow his body, seeping trough his cracks, as the wolf in him rattled its cage, trying to break free. He clutched his shirt, twisting it, seeking comfort, as he fights.

Why does the wolf wants to get loose? It isn't time yet, what's the creature's reason for its struggles on breaking its binds. His heart hurts; the wolf's desperation pierced him and he was about to yell in pain when a silhouette appeared on his mind.

"Buggers, are you okay, mr. Wolfie?" They said and by the softness and pitch of their voice, Remus confirmed it was a young girl. "Don't worry, I'll get you out of there."

..."You're safe now, mr. Wolfie."

He sucked in a large amount of breath, his mind surfacing to the real word. He panted, breathing in and out for five seconds before pulling himself up. He found himself in a old classroom and his eyes widened at the damage he had caused. Broken chairs were everywhere, the walls and blackboard were scratched and bloody marks appeared everywhere.

What is going on, he cupped his face with his hands, feeling horrified at the destruction he had caused. Was he...getting dangerous already?

His breath hitched, realizing the fact he was becoming much worse than a monster. He was right, a werewolf doesn't deserve this chance, maybe he should leave already besides nobody will miss him. Then, a picture of a redhead Gryrffindor boy, a large bearded man, a black dragon and a weird old man wearing cresent moon glasses appeared in his mind.

After that a familiar, girl wearing a hood appeared last on his mind and the smile present on her face made him relax. All the burden on his whole body he had felt before slowly left him and a relief sigh was released from his mouth.

For them, he'll keep on fighting.

"Interesting..." After his relapse from yesterday's friday night, he made his way towards the headmaster's office, "Good thing you hid in that abandon classroom, young Remus." The old wizard praised him, "Or it wouldn't be chairs that had only broke, but anyway, I believe there's an explanation for you're wolf's weird behaviour." He explained calmly and Remus leaned forward to hear him out.

Professor Dumbledore stroke his beard, "I heard something particular from the wizards in the ministry who are working in astronomy about the moon cycle..." He begun and Remus' eyes widened, "In three days, the full moon will be more up close in earth and muggles call this type of moon, as the Super Moon."

His forehead furrowed and he quirk an eyebrow at the title, "Super Moon?" He tested in his mouth and Professor Dumbledore nodded in response. "In muggles research data, the moon will be much more bigger in the night sky than it was before. The moon's light is much more brighter than before, that's why they name it the Super Moon."

Remus look thoughtful for a minute, "You're telling me, because of this Super Moon, my furry side had gotten a little active." He hypothesized which the old wizard nodded and he paled a little bit at that thought, "Don't tell me that kind of moon will enhance the wolf more?" He questioned wincing a little bit, clearly bot fond of that idea.

The old professor produce a humming sound in his mouth—maybe he was thinking—before it stops, "I'm not sure, Remus. There was no study about werewolves during this type of moon." He apologized, "However, I'll assure you that, I will keep both you and the students safe from any harm."

With his declaration, Remus nodded despite the fact he was still uneasy about himself. Thoughts ran around in his minds, scraping and colliding with each other. What if he would get out of control, what if he would hurt someone or—"Just relax and stop worrying!"

His older brother's voice appeared in his mind again and his eyes contracted in size. Shock was written on his face, his jumble thoughts seizing, as his brother spoke again, "Dumbledore has it all under control and I trust the man, so just relax, Rem." Remus let out a breath that he didn't knew he was holding, 'His right, feeling tense won't solve my problem.' Closing his eyes, he calmed himself first before opening them again.

"Thank you, professor."

"..."

He was sitting in charm class with Tonks and Bill besides him, he was trying his hardest to pay attention on the quiz paper the professor gave them, but he couldn't seem to put his mind on it, and it was the headache that he was feeling right now is the one to blame.

"Remus," Called out Bill in a hush wispher, "You know the answer for question number twenty-two?" He asked, but he received a yelp of pain when Tonks reached out her hand to pinch the redhead's arm.

"Bill, you shouldn't bother other people." She scolded him, her voice low while tilting her head up to see if professor Flitwick noticed their interaction. She sighed in relief and her gaze went back to both of the boys that was on her right.

Suddenly, a frown had suddenly appear in her face, "You're a little pale…" She said, "Are you feeling alright?"

He wasn't, he wanted to answer, but hw wisely shut his mouth instead. The full moon was in two days (especially a super moon), and he was starting to feel its effects on his body, but Tonks didn't know it, and he didn't want to tell her, afraid that she'll fear him if she knew.

"Oh, I'm alright. I've been putting some overnights...that's all…" He said, rubbing the back of his head and a voice behind in his mind begun to wispher, 'Liar...'

Tonks stared at him for a minute, and he could tell, by her look, that she wasn't buying his excuse. She was too smart for her good.

"Hey, are you busy later?" She asked, tilting her head and something flashed in her eyes which he eventually identified, hope...why is she feeling that?

"Now? No, why?" He answered simply.

"I need to get this book that I had borrowed back to the library. I was wondering if you'd like to come." He thinks for a moment and it took him a minute to finally answer her, "Sure, I'm happy too."

"Great! See you later." With that, she turned back to her paper and the tenseness in his body evaporated into thin air and for the first time, he felt actually relax. However, his head was pulled back from the clouds when Bill whispered again, "Remus, the answer for question twenty-two?"

Shaking his head, he leaned down and whispered in a quiet voice, "The answer is C." He said and he receive a grin from the redhead which he couldn't help, but snort.

"..."

Both him and Tonks had started browsing the shelves, for a book to read. However, there was a nagging feeling in his mind that something was wrong. Earlier when he met up with Tonks in the great hall, he had heard whispers coming from the student body.

"So, it was true, that her family is full of murderers..."

"Blood traitor that's what she is!"

"Hahaha, pathetic."

"Maybe she does have horns hiding underneath that hood of hers."

He saw the young Hufflepuff still smiling brightly despite of the harmful gossips surrounding her. Her aura had never stop releasing its joyful energy, but he knew there was something wrong with her. Even if she wasn't showing it, he can somehow feel her sadness that was buried underneath this jolly facade.

..."Hey, Tonks, how about, I read you a book." He suggested with a grin, hoping the young girl would agree and she did.

She nodded, "Sure, Remus, I love that."

Both of them settled down on the floor and at the same time, Remus excitedly opened the book he chose. "Hope you like it, this tale is one of my favourite." He said and a soft smile came to her face.

He suddenly felt a little bit shy, but he shook that emotion off, as he begun to read. "There was once a young mighty lady..."

"..."

"And with the whip of her magical staff, the mighty lady vanished the eveil spirit and that's the end." He finished, closing his book with his hand before turning to the young girl besides him, "What do you think, Tonks?" When he didn't receive any reply from her, he tried again.

"Tonks?"

"Are you there?"

"Nymphadora?" At last, he decided to take a peek at the Hufflepuff and he was met with her sleeping face. Her breathing was steady, her eyes closed and a small smile appeared on her lips. Remus couldn't help, but stare at the young beauty his eyes have ever witnessed upon—'Wait...' Rewind back, did he said beauty?

He felt his face getting a little bit warmer, he shook his head, thinking it was just nothing. Maybe, he should wake her up, but she look peaceful...

His mind begun to argue, whether to wake the young girl up or let her doze. His green eyes glanced back at her and with a sigh, he chose the second part. 'Might, as well read to pass the time.' He shrugged, reaching for the other book that was besides him; also, being careful at the same time , for he might wake her up from her peaceful slumber.

Sighing, he opened the book and begun to read, but a fond smile was present on his face. 'I glad that my suggestion cheered her up a little bit.'

Days passed, and the night of the full moon (super moon) arrived. Lupin sat quietly in Shrieking Shack awaiting the time for his transformation. It wasn't nice; it never was, and it didn't matter how many times he went through it, he'd never get used to it; however, this time the transformation was much more worse. The burning sensation felt like hot blue flames tearing itself through his muscles and skin; the piercing sting in his bones, felt like knives stabbing him, as they stretched and twisted into their animal forms. Usually, he'd lose all his human consciousness once he'd changed, but that night something odd had happened. His human mind was conscious along with the animals, it was not fully there, but it was there.

The wolf sneaked out of the dilapidated house and made his way into the forest.He begun hunting, sniffing out his preys and lying low before attacking. He pounced on the defenseless stag and a howl was released from him, as he chomped down on his prey's neck.

The metallic smell of blood covered the air and he begun feasting on his kill. After five minutes, the wolf was satisfied and he decided to explore the woods. His silver coat provided him warmth from the cold night and when he was face to face with the large moon, he howled again; then, he stops when he took a whip at the scent of the forest and his eyes dilated in alarm, when he picked up a strange scent in the wind and it caught his attention.

What was that?

The wolf followed the scent through the forest until it reached the end of it. He could see the castle at the distance and the wolf realized that he'd reached the school grounds. Why had the scent brought him there? His ears twitched up, catching the sound of footsteps and out of a sudden, a dark hooded figure sat down a few steps from him. His first reaction was to get defensive.

The wolf bared its teeth and growled in warning; he was ready to jump at the newcomer anytime, but then he caught the scent. That strange fragrance that felt so familiar and...attracting.

"Who's there?" a soft voice asked in a whisper.

The wolf didn't recognize the girl immediately. She couldn't see him as long as he stayed in the shadows cast by the forest trees, but he could see her perfectly well under the moonlight. It was a girl, a human!?

He bared his teeth at her, but he didn't made any move to pounce on her. Why? The girl didn't dare move, she was calm and this confuse the animal greatly. Humans aren't nice, they had feared and attacked him, but why is this perticular human not doing any of that?

There was something in his mind that was telling him attacking her felt wrong. Almost as if he was attacking his mate, so he had stayed down and watched her suspiciously. For, now, he will wait.

The girl in front of him seemed...tired...weak; perhaps even ill and he felt tempted to jump out, not to attack her, but to look at her to be sure she was alright. This thought made the wolf more confuse than before, the girl is a human, he should attack her, but he didn't do that because his instincts keeps telling him not to.

"Oh, I didn't expect to see you here." she said softly and the wolf realized the girl had noticed him, "I thought, I would be alone right now."

The wolf was surprised. The girl didn't seem afraid of him, but then again, she couldn't see him, could she? And she knew him, had he seen her before? He took a sniff on her scent again and he immediately recognized her.

It was the girl he met near the lake. The one who shared her food with him.

However her next words surprised him, "Since you're here, would you like to accompany me tonight."

He lifted his head up and when his glowing amber eyes met her own, he watched as a small visible green flash appeared in her eyes and his eyes widened in surprise. Now, he knew who is the girl to him.

"..."

Lupin woke up in the Shrieking Shack the next morning feeling a little airheaded. As his mind grew more awake and alert, a sense of horror invaded him. He could remember small bits of the events from last night and a terrible fear filled him.

A fuzzy image of a girl appeared in his mind and worried fill him. Who was that girl? Was she hurt? If she was, he would never forgive himself. His, still over-sensitive sense of smell, didn't catch any trace of blood on his body that made him relief (a little bit), but he was still restless. The boy got dressed; ignoring the pain that racked in his body, he quickly made his way back to Hogwarts.

Under normal circumstances, he'd have headed straight to the hospital wing to receive his after moon treatment, but hewas feeling restless right now. He was so stupid, what was wrong with his wolf side, why the bloody hell did he entered the school ground.

He was tumbling a lot in the hallway and he was glad that nobody was awake yet. He tripped and fell face first on the floor; however, he ignored the pain when a familiar scent entered his nose. With out even identifying whose scent it is, he followed it and that was kinda out of character of him, but he didn't care because something was telling him that he should find her—'Wait, her?'

That's when she found her, her body curled up in a corner of the owlery with her head resting against the wall. 'Tonks?' He thought, shock to see her there. What was she doing here? 'Don't tell me...' His eyes widened, shaking his head; he thought of another explanation the reason for why she was here.

Lupin knelt in front of her and scanned her carefully. To his relief, the girl did not seem to show any indication of being hurt, but she was a little too cold to the touch. Wait, hurt? Did he already confirm that it wasn't her, shaking his head, his attention went back to the girl.

"Tonks…" he said, shaking her gently, "Tonks, wake up."

It took Lupin a few minutes to wake her up, and he found himself smiling unconsciously when the girl groaned. She opened her sleepy eyes, and looked around slightly confused.

"Remus?"

"Good morning." He said softly as the girl rubbed her eyes.

"...Wotcher..." She greeted with a yawn, pushing herself into a sitting position and stretching her arms, "What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you that…" het replied, "Shouldn't you be sleeping in your bed?"

"My…?"

Tonks looked around, and her eyes widened in surprise when she noticed her surroundings. After a few seconds of memory work, she seemed to remember why and how she had gotten there and Lupin saw her blush in embarrassment.

"I fell asleep…" She mumbled, "Oh, Merlin."

"I could tell that...but why are you sleeping in the owlery…?" He chuckled.

Her face scrunched up, biting her bottom lips, as she thinks. "I woke up early, so I can send a mail to my parents." She answered before looking around her,"I though—never mind; now it's my turn to ask, what are you doing here?"

Remus sighed in relief, it wasn't her, he was glad. He doesn't know what to do if she got hurt because of him. He looked up and answered her, "I was—"

However, he was cut off by the girl when a frown made its way on her lips. "Are those scratches?" Her eyes widened; then, he remembered. In the middle of his worry about the mysterious girl, he had forgotten. He was probably covered in scratches and injuries that Madam Pomfrey had yet to heal.

"I…" He said, trying to come up with a believable excuse. He doesn't want her to worry because she shouldn't be, but his mind stops working when the girl cups his face with both of her soft hands.

"Oh, dear... I passed you the clumsiness curse, didn't I?" Tonks said, slightly concerned, "Oh, Merlin..."

"It's nothing, Tonks...just a few scratches. I'm fine…"

"Oh, you're not fine Remus, and let me tell you...I know about injuries…" The young girl replied, standing up clumsily and scanning the boy with worry, "We should go to madam Pomfrey…"

"I said, I'm fi—woah!" He was cut of again when Tonks began pushing him out of the owlery in a hurry. Lupin knew the girl's concern was real, but he couldn't help but find her actions a little amusing. Unfortunately, Tonks's good intentions were beaten by her innate clumsiness when she tripped at the exit of the tower and dragged Lupin along with her to the ground.

The boy let out a groan as he crashed against the ground. His strained muscles complained at the impact and he had to bite his lip to not let out a screech. Although, on the bright side, the girl landed on top of him and she wasn't hurt.

However, he blushed at their close proximity, so with a groan, he pushed both of them up and slowly scooted back. "Are you fine?" He asked; although, he didn't expected a worry look directed at him. "Oh, buggers! I'm so sorry, Remus! Are you okay? But what am I saying...of course you're not. Okay...stupid me… eh, where does it hurt?" She lamented, checking over him once again. If Lupin was honest, the pain was everywhere in his bones and muscles, but it wasn't her fault and despite feeling horribly hurt, he let out a heartwarming laugh.

The young girl look at him weirdly, as if he had gone mental, "Oh, no...oh, no, no. Did you hit your head? Remus? How many fingers am I holding...I don't know if that even works, but I've seen people ask that in the movies…" She sniffled and he stopped laughing, realizing the girl was about to cry.

Like lightning, he quickly reassured her. "Tonks..." Remus begun and he couldn't help, but chuckle a little bit, "I'm alright...don't worry."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, but...I'd appreciate some help getting...well, up…"

"Ah...of course."

Tonks helped Lupin back on his feet; then, she pulled his arm over her shoulders to allow him to lean on her as they made their way back to the castle. "Weird...I could have sworn you were shorter…" Lupin said with a smirk which he received a glare from the Hufflepuff.

"Are you calling me short?" She accused and he quickly shook his head, "Good."

As expected, Madam Pomfrey wasn't too happy when Tonks came into the hospital wing with a very hurt Remus Lupin, and she pushed the younger student out of the room as she handled the Gryffindor's many injuries. That left a guilty-looking Tonks, pacing around the nurse's office like a caged lion until the nurse came back with a freshly healed Lupin.

"Now, Ms. Tonks…" Madam Pomfrey said sternly, "I've healed Mr. Lupin's injuries, but he needs rest, so…"

"I know...I know. I won't bother him...I promise." Tonks quickly added, "I'll accompany him to back to Gryffindor's Tower and he'll be free of me for the rest of the day…"

Madam Pomfrey stared at the girl with a frown that made Remus chuckle. Every little detail of her posture was giving away a very clear message and he was fighting a very silly urge to laugh. In the end, the nurse had reluctantly allowed them to leave.

However, before they got out of the door, the nurse called him, "Next time mr. Lupin, please go straight to the hospital wing when you're injured." He nodded at her, keeping that request in his mind. He politely thanks her and the old nurse excused him.

They walk for a couple of minutes until they reached the West Tower.

Before, he could went up the stairs that leads to his house dorm, he was dragged at a secluded corner by Tonks and before he could opened his mouth, she spoke first. "Remus, even though, I don't know what's going on, but..." She sighed, "I'm worried."

He raised an eyebrow at her, "About?"

At his phrase, Tonks gave him a concerned look. She was about to open her mouth, but she stopped and her gray eyes stared down at the floor. He didn't knew what was going on in her mind; before he could asked her for this state of hers, he was engulfed in a hug. Her arms wrapped around her and Remus felt there was something in her embrace that he couldn't decipher.

"Thank you." She whispered, pulling away from him and a genuine smile appeared on her face. What the—before, he could even speak, she walked away, but not before bidding him goodbye first.

She left him there, with his thoughts swirling in his heads, as many question marks appeared in his mind. But, one question stand out from the rest, 'What is she thanking me for?'