JJ clutched the pillow closer to him as he laid down curled into a ball on John B's bed. He had just found out that his best friend from the 3rd grade had died int hat storm, being pushed further into it by the cops on the boat that JJ himself had provided.

It's all your fault

Fuckin' idiot

Can never do anything right

Rude thoughts ran around his brain, making him squeeze his eyes shut and the clutch the pillow closer.

After Shoupe announced their death, JJ had no one to go home to. Pope went with his parents while Kiara stayed with hers back on Figure 8. He would normally just return to the Chateau with John B because it is what he considered to be his home but this time there was no John B. It made his heart ache painfully with each pulse. His best friend was dead. Because of him.

The guilt and grief were so strong that it made his body physically hurt, causing JJ to curl into himself further. Tears leaked out of the corner of his eyes and onto the soft white pillow beneath his chest.

It was John B's pillow, still contained the scene of beer, salt, and something that was just entirely John B. JJ breathed in the pillows scent, letting the fabric soak up the wetness that he felt on his cheeks.

Before he even realized it, a choked sob made its way up his throat.

It echoed around the empty room and sounded pitiful to his own ears. But he couldn't help it, just let the tears fall because as much as he hated to admit it, it seemed to help ease the pain. Both physically and mentally.

The more JJ thought about it, he realized that he wouldn't be able to stay at John B's place anymore because the house was government owned now that his friend no longer occupied it. JJ would be stuck at his own house with his abusive as fuck father.

But those thought easily traveled to the back of his mind behind the ever-growing grief.

That's how he laid there for hours, unable to catch any sleep although he was exhausted, he cried all the tears left until his eyes were scratchy and red. He was mentally drained and felt like he couldn't stand up out of the bed if he was paid a hundred bucks for it.

Hopefully though, the pain would get easier. But for now, he suffered. Alone and in silence. There was no longer anyone there to comfort him, which only caused agony, heartache, and sorrow grow.

Really really really short but It's oh well, I write this in 20 minute I'm so so sorry please forgive me ahhh