It was still dark out when Frostmask awoke slowly. She groaned as she lifted her head. Her bruises and joints ached, while the bite on her neck twinged in pain. But, her headache was gone, and she did feel a bit stronger after the snippet of sleep, even if she wasn't able to recover for a full night.
Autumnleap had woken her up by murmuring her name, and he blinked over at her now, his reflective eyes glinting slightly in the low light of the den.
"What's going on?" Frostmask muttered blearily, pawing at her eyes as she tried to chase sleep away.
"Sedgestar called a clan meeting," Autumnleap said. "Emberflower just got back. And Redclaw's patrol came back while you were sleeping."
Frostmask nodded, stumbling to her paws.
"Dawntail's death ceremony also happened while you were asleep," Autumnleap said, his tail twitching with a hint of guilt. "I didn't know if you wanted me to wake up for it. But, I'm sorry I didn't if you did."
"It's alright," Frostmask murmured as they padded out of the den.
The normally composed Sedgestar was fidgeting on Clanrock. His fur stuck up in unruly clumps, and his tail lashed while his ears twitched at every small sound. It was obvious that he had not gotten any rest yet.
He's probably working on our plan for revenge.
Frostmask let out a quiet, appreciative growl, feeling a flash of pride and gratitude that ShadowClan had such a dedicated leader. The ShadowClan cats all quickly took a seat in the camp's clearing, and all eyes turned to Sedgestar to await the news.
"Emberflower, tell them what happened," Sedgestar said, his voice grim.
Emberflower rose to her paws and stood at the base of Clanrock next to Grovepelt, her ginger pelt still bright, even in the low light.
"It appears that the SkyClan patrol has left our territory," she said. "The RiverClan stench they used left a clear trail for us."
"Well that's good, right?" Hootflight's voice called out, but Emberflower just shook her head.
"They left our territory through our tunnel," Emberflower said with a low growl. "Their trail led there clearly. We continued into the tunnel and followed their scent until we reached ThunderClan land. There's no mistaking it."
"I'm sure that's how they managed to get past my patrol and into our territory," Sedgestar snarled.
Yowls of fury and outrage echoed through the ShadowClan camp. Frostmask felt her fur bristle, and she sunk her claws into the snowy ground.
How did SkyClan know about our tunnel?!
"How is this possible?!" Greytail snarled from outside the elders' den, her pelt prickling with fury. "The tunnel has been closely guarded information by ShadowClan since the thunderpath's creation! Not even ThunderClan or WindClan seem to know about it, and it's on their own territory! And, yet SkyClan found out?!"
"No way SkyClan's smart enough to figure it out on their own!" Marshnose spat.
Other yowls of agreement met Greytail's words. Even Sedgestar nodded at her, his eyes narrowed to furious slits. Grovepelt rose to his paws, gesturing with his tail for his clan-mates to settle down.
"We have been hunting on SkyClan land intermittently for the past two moons," Grovepelt said, having to raise his voice to be heard over all the growling and snarling. "It is possible that one of our hunting parties was tracked by SkyClan, unknowingly."
Several overlapping voices spoke at once.
"Snake-dung!" Someone spat.
"But, we've been so careful! No one's been caught!" Someone else yowled.
Dampfang leapt to his paws, his green eyes bright with anger.
"I know what it is!" Dampfang yowled his voice over the rest. "StarClan warned us about this, don't you remember? The rotten pine omen!"
Dampfang narrowed his eyes, and for a brief moment, his gaze met Frostmask's.
"There's a traitor in our midst," Dampfang snarled.
Frostmask felt her stomach flip, and she dug her claws into the ground. She snarled in anger at the accusation, but she wasn't sure if anyone else noticed Dampfang's look at her. The clan was in chaos now— many cats were on their feet, pelts bristling, and hisses of shock and fury echoed all around Frostmask.
"Enough. Enough!" Sedgestar yowled, but even he looked unsettled by the mention of the omen— his fur stood on end and his tail twitched. "We can't let this attack divide us like this!"
"Well what do we do Sedgestar?" Darkpelt said, as he limped forward, still not using his injured leg.
Sedgestar scraped his unsheathed claws against the stone beneath him.
"Rest assured, SkyClan will pay for what they've done," Sedgestar snarled. "But, we are in no state to launch a counter-attack at this moment. Several cats are ill or injured, and we don't have the herbs necessary to treat them. It's true that SkyClan landed a hard blow against us today. But, we will overcome this and strike back harder. We will make every cat in SkyClan regret being kitted because we are ShadowClan and when we work together, nothing can stop us!"
Sedgestar paused for a moment to lash his tail and let his Clan growl in agreement.
"For now, I'm suspending the hunting trips to SkyClan territory," Sedgestar said. "We will need all our cats on our land. We will increase patrols down the ThunderClan border and check the tunnel regularly for any activity. And, as soon as sunrise, I want cats helping Elmclaw and Clearstream with finding herbs. If one of them asks you to escort them to speak to another Clan's medicine cat about borrowing herbs or to aid them with gathering herbs, I want you to drop everything and do that. Understood?"
Murmurs of agreement rippled through the Clan.
"Once we're back to our full strength, SkyClan will pay," Sedgestar snarled before bounding down Clanrock, indicating that the meeting was over.
Cats began to disperse. Dustleap, Marshnose, and some others went back to holding vigil over Dawntail's body, but many cats headed to their dens to get some more sleep before morning. Frostmask turned, about to do the same.
"Frostmask."
She jerked at the sound of Sedgestar's voice.
She turned her head to see him regarding her with a sharp amber gaze while their clan-mates filed around them.
"Come with me. I wish to speak with you in my den for a moment," Sedgestar said curtly before turning and striding over to the base of the Oak Tree, vanishing into the tunnel between the roots.
Frostmask stared after him, mystified.
"What's that about?" Autumnleap murmured from her side.
"I have no clue," Frostmask responded, rising to her paws.
She followed Sedgestar into his den, her breaths echoing loudly in the narrow tunnel for a moment before it opened up into a larger earthen cave. As her eyes adjusted to the low light, Frostmask blinked in surprise to see that Sedgestar was pacing the length of the cave instead of sitting in his nest with his tail neatly wrapped around her paws, like she expected him to be.
Frostmask stood near the tunnel, feeling more awkward by the moment as the heartbeats stretched on. Sedgestar just continued to pace silently, his jaw clenched in frustration, barely acknowledging Frostmask besides occasionally shooting her sharp side-glances.
Frostmask self-consciously cleared her throat, her tail-tip twitching with unease. She'd never seen her leader in such a state of agitation before.
"Is— is something wrong, Sedgestar?" Frostmask managed to ask.
Sedgestar seemed to tense at the sound of her voice, but he forced himself to stop pacing. Now he stood as stiff as a log, staring at Frostmask. His tail twitching behind him was the only part of him still in motion.
"Was it you?" he said suddenly.
Frostmask blinked, taken aback. Her confusion and worry deepen in her chest. Sedgestar kept staring at her. He looked furious. Was he furious at her?
"I- I don't understand," Frostmask stammered, her ears flattening.
"Did you tell them?" Sedgestar said, a low, dangerous growl rumbling beneath his words. "Did you tell SkyClan about the tunnel?"
Frostmask blinked, her heart suddenly plummeting to her stomach as the ground seemed to shift under her.
It's not just Dampfang… Sedgestar… he doubts me too. My own leader!
Frostmask's tail curled under her belly and her chin fell down to her chest as if her whole body caved in on itself.
"How can you say that?" Frostmask rasped, her voice quavering.
Frostmask quickly swiped a paw across her face, hating how much her voice shook. Her wavering voice didn't last long though. The shock and sadness inside her was quickly being replaced by pain and anger. She lifted her gaze to shoot Sedgestar a burning look.
"ShadowClan is my home!" she spat. "I would never do anything to harm the cats here! Why would you say that?! I've always been loyal!
Sedgestar studied her in silence, but his twitching tail behind him began to still. Frostmask could see hidden thoughts flickering in his gaze as he looked at her, trying to read her. To see if she was telling the truth.
Frostmask clenched her jaw in anger, digging her paws into the floor of the den.
"Why."
She surprised herself with the intensity in her voice. She had never spoken to Sedgestar with such incivility before.
"Why do you think I betrayed ShadowClan?" Frostmask repeated, her mew coarse.
Sedgestar sighed, and the tension drained out of his body. His face was suddenly lined with weariness and regret. He sat down in his nest, slowly shaking his head to himself.
"I should've never said that. I'm sorry," Sedgestar murmured, closing his eyes for a moment. "This situation has me on edge. At no other point during my leadership has ShadowClan been so soundly defeated on our own territory. I'm not thinking straight. Please. Forgive me, Frostmask."
Frostmask felt a low growl in the back of her throat, her anger not stifled.
That wasn't good enough. She had been loyal to ShadowClan, to Sedgestar, every heartbeat of her whole life! And, yet Sedgestar would question her so blatantly? How could she blindly forgive a leader that didn't trust her?!
"Tell me," Frostmask demanded, her tail lashing.
Sedgestar hesitated, studying Frostmask with his amber gaze. The silence stretched on between them, but then he finally dipped his head in concession.
"I'm sorry you are finding out about this," Sedgestar meowed, his voice low but steady. "And, especially finding out in this manner… I never intended you to know… But, when your mother brought you to ShadowClan, she told me that your father was a SkyClan warrior."
Frostmask took a step back from him, her eyes widening. Her heart began to hammer, but curiously, she didn't feel surprise at the revelation, only icy dread trickling down her spine. Frostmask tried to swallow, but her mouth was bone-dry. She pressed her paws hard against the earth beneath her, trying to steady herself.
The sound of her pulse pounded in her ears, so loud that it almost blocked out the sound of Sedgestar's low voice as he continued.
"The rotten pine omen made me suspicious. I thought you found out the truth. Or your father contacted you, somehow," Sedgestar muttered. "Maybe you told him about the tunnel on accident, not understanding what he'd do with such information…"
"Who else knows?" Frostmask cut in, her voice a rough whisper.
Sedgestar's gaze was troubled as he looked at her, but he answered her question.
"The patrol that found you: Emberflower, Beeclaw, Swoopstrike… as well as Grovepelt and Redclaw," Sedgestar said.
Frostmask inhaled sharply, taking another step back from him as if he slashed her across her chest.
"This whole time…" Her voice was a whisper, but it vibrated with pain and betrayal. "You all knew… Swoopstrike, Grovepelt, Redclaw… and none of you ever told me?"
Sedgestar gave his head a small shake.
"Don't blame them," he meowed. "I was the one that asked them to tell no other cats. Not even you."
Frostmask dug her claws into the ground, her ears flat against her head.
"It was not your secret to hide!" The words burst from her chest. "You kept half of my identity from me. You lied to me! All of you! And, then you have the audacity to accuse me of betraying ShadowClan, when you're the liars?! What happened to 'ShadowClan keeps no secrets among clan-mates!?'"
Sedgestar looked at her steadily, and she saw a change ripple across his features. He straightened his posture, his face becoming smooth and expressionless, while his eyes became blank amber gems, revealing none of his thoughts. Frostmask was no longer speaking to Sedgestar, but instead to 'The Leader of ShadowClan.'
"I did what I thought was right," he said, his eyes boring into Frostmask's. "I did not want your loyalties divided. I wanted you to be totally devoted to ShadowClan, the home that raised you. Not some stranger. A useless SkyClan tom."
Frostmask stared at him, her heart pounding like thunder through her.
This must be what it felt like when cats from the other Clans looked at Sedgestar. This was not the cat that spent sunhigh lounging around, purring with Grovepelt and Emberflower. He did not dote on Lizardpaw, Featherpaw, and Yewpaw. He didn't watch Rowanheart walk past with eyes that shown with pride.
This cat was ice cold and practical. His gaze was sharp, shrewd, and calculating, and it never rested, always working to figure out his next move.
"If I had a chance to do it over, I wouldn't change a thing about my decision. Didn't Redclaw and Weaseltail raise you well?" Sedgestar continued, his tone insisting. "Wasn't Swoopstrike a good mentor? Aren't you happy to be in ShadowClan?"
Frostmask pressed her ears harder against her head, trying to block out the sound of his voice. She glanced away from him, down to the ground, unable to look at the cold, unfeeling face of a cat that she didn't know.
"What was his name?" Frostmask rasped.
She curled her claws deeper into the earth, feeling like she already knew the answer, but she refused to let the word into her thoughts.
Don't say it. Don't say it.
She saw white fur in her mind and a flash of cold green eyes. Frostmask screwed her eyes shut for a moment and wiped the image away, clenching her fangs until her jaw ached against it.
Don't say it. Don't say it.
Sedgestar blinked.
"I don't know," he said. "Your mother didn't tell me. All she told me was that he wouldn't have you."
Frostmask tensed, her chest heaving as she began to breathe louder. More rapid. More panicked.
"SkyClan did not want two more starving mouths to feed," Sedgestar continued, his voice cold. "But, I could not just leave a dying queen and her sole surviving kit to freeze to death in the snow."
Frostmask jerked back from him, her muscles taunt as her mind slipped away from her body, gone to shelter someplace else. Her thoughts were in chaos, in absolutely no state to do anything but to hide in some dark place where nothing could reach them. However, her body understood innately how to survive, and it was ready to fight or run from the threat.
Sedgestar blinked, and it was like he was suddenly himself again, his face deeply tired but his amber eyes understanding.
"Frostmask…"
Frostmask turned tail and fled from the den.
She burst back into camp, her pelt standing on end as her breaths echoed in her ears. The clearing had mostly emptied after the meeting. Good. She had no desire for anyone to see her like this. All she wanted right now was to get far away from Sedgestar, far away from everyone, from these cats that lied to her. That upended her life. That, even after she gave everything to them, still thought so lowly of her, they believed she'd betray them at a twitch of a whisker for some cat that she didn't even know.
Frostmask locked her gaze on the thorn tunnel and raced towards it. She saw a flash of fur in the corner of her eye, and she was barely able to pick out the dark red color in the shadows. Autumnleap had waited for her. Of course he had.
"Frostmask!" he said, his voice deep with concern as he rushed to her side. "What's wrong?"
Frostmask whirled towards him, curling her lips up to flash her fangs.
"For once in your life, leave me alone!" she snarled.
Autumnleap stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes widening in confusion and hurt.
"Let her go, Autumnleap," Sedgestar's voice rumbled.
He had emerged from his den and now stood at the base of the Oak Tree, watching her. Frostmask let out a hiss. Sedgestar had no right to say whether or not she could leave the camp. Frostmask ducked into the tunnel, flying into the black forest.
At first, she had no thought about where she was going. She was just fleeing, running as hard as she could until she could escape the stormy clouds of hurt that raged inside her. But, as her body shifted, tensing and adjusting to carry this new weight of betrayal, another pain filled her, setting her blood on fire. She finally let his name into her mind.
Paledusk.
She snarled her rage at the empty night air as she ran. He was the SkyClan cat. Her father. The thought made her want to retch.
And, the worst part of it was that he knew. That way he looked at her that first night— he knew this whole time. He was a liar like the others, but worse. Despite knowing who she was, he tried to drive her away. Tried to hurt her. On purpose.
Well… maybe he hadn't known Swoopstrike was her mentor, but he had still killed him.
Swoopstrike.
Frostmask blinked hard before throwing her eyes upwards, scouring the stars that peeked down through the pine boughs with a furious, accusative gaze.
How could you do this to me? How could you lie like the rest? How could Redclaw too?!
Frostmask imagined what Swoopstrike would do if he was here with her. In her mind, she pictured his paw flashing out to cuff her around her ears but not hitting hard enough to sting.
"You daft frog-brain!" he'd hiss. "Why are you so upset? Nothing's really changed. ShadowClan is still your home, and we were just following Sedgestar's orders. Would you have done any differently if you were in our paw-steps?"
Frostmask shook her head, sending the image away. Of course Swoopstrike wouldn't understand. None of her friends or anyone else in ShadowClan could— they were all clan-born. Their loyalty and competence was taken as a given, while Frostmask spent her life proving and fighting and clawing for every scrap of hers. And, that still wasn't enough for them.
The acidic tang of thunderpath scent hung in the air, and Frostmask jerked her head forward, her thoughts yanked back to her body. During her blind, furious haze, she'd nearly run straight through ShadowClan's territory. Her wounded neck throbbed, she had a headache pounding behind her eyes again, and her paws slowed as her body reminded her mind of her weaken state. Frostmask came to an ungraceful stop, panting hard from the excursion and stress.
Her heavy breathing was the only sound in the forest. It was that time of late night where nocturnal animals had gone back to their nests, but the morning creatures had yet to wake up. The snow around her dampened any noise that might escape the rare creature who was up late or early, while also keeping away incests, so she didn't even have the songs of crickets for company.
Frostmask hunched her shoulders, wrapping her tail around herself for comfort. Her isolation was profound.
She was close to just collapsing there, giving no regard to the snowy ground or the cold and just letting herself herself wallow in her misery, but then her nose twitched as an unusual scent wafted to her on the breeze, snapping her back to attention. It was the trail left by the SkyClan warriors, already starting to go stale. Frostmask realized she must be close to the tunnel's entrance.
A low growl began to build in her throat, slowly but steadily increasing in volume. Her breathing began to pick up, and her heart began to pound again.
All of this was Paledusk's fault. If her father was just some random rogue or soft kittypet who did not care about the Clans, none of this would've happened. But, instead Paledusk was SkyClan's deputy. He had taken away her clan-mates' trust in her. He'd attacked her Clan, and he'd killed her mentor.
Frostmask sunk unsheathed claws into the snow, hardly feeling its icy bite against her pads because of the hot anger that rolled in her belly. Her legs tensed until they trembled, her fur bristling out around her and her tail lashing.
She blinked, and then she was in motion again.
The next part of her journey passed in flashes. She could hardly focus on anything besides the tightness in her muscles and the pain and fury burning in her chest.
One moment she was still on ShadowClan land, rolling in a pile of leaf-litter and toadstools to disguise her scent. The next she was streaking through the pitch-black tunnel. A moment later, she was slipping through ThunderClan territory, passing through the stream border onto SkyClan land.
It wasn't until she was under a grove of bare, towering oaks in the heart of SkyClan's territory with her mouth open to drink in the scents on the breeze that her mind cleared enough to realize how completely foolish and dangerous this plan of hers was. Then that didn't even matter either when she picked up Paledusk's scent.
Frostmask instinctively slipped down into a hunter's crouch and began to track her prey.
The fire that had been burning in her chest now cooled and froze into fury as cold and sharp as ice. She was a cat turned to stone. She knew what she had to do, and she would not bend or waver. If Paledusk wanted to stop her, he'd have to shatter her.
Her training took over. Her breathing steadied and her senses heightened as she settled into the reassuring, well worn patterns she'd practiced for moons while she shadowed his trail. His scent was fresh. She followed it without issue as it cut cleanly through SkyClan territory.
Her ears pricked as she picked up the sound of the river. Soon, she was able to spot it between the gaps in the trees. It was half-frozen; only a small strip in the middle remained free-flowing, but even that moved lazily as if it was hindered by the ice. She continued down the river, all the while, Paledusk's scent growing stronger. She moved around the thick trunk of a maple, and then she saw him.
Frostmask tensed and froze at the base of the tree, her form hidden in the knobby shapes of the roots. Paledusk was alone. He was sitting and looking out over RiverClan territory with his back to her, as if he was expecting someone soon.
Must be meeting with Perchpelt again.
Frostmask noticed fresh scratches across his back and her brow furrowed. She hadn't seen him at the attack on their camp, so how had he gotten wounded?
Frostmask gave her head a tiny shake to push those thoughts away. It didn't matter. What mattered was her getting to him before whatever RiverClan cats he was waiting for arrived. Frostmask began to creep closer, placing her paws down as carefully and softly as if she was hunting a mouse.
At the edge of the tree-line, still several fox-lengths away from him, she hesitated. Now would be the perfect time to leap at him. She could tackle him easily, and with surprise on her side, she could maybe even kick him into the river. The thin ice would break under him, and he would go under. The next day, his Clan would find his body washed up on shore, dead from drowning and hypothermia. They would mourn his death as a tragic accident with not a trace of Frostmask or ShadowClan on him.
Frostmask curled her lips back.
Justice. For myself and for Swoopstrike.
Frostmask pressed her ears flat against her head, clenching her jaw… But, her paws didn't move forward.
She looked away from Paledusk's back, and with a hard blink, she felt herself snap out of her dark fantasy.
She couldn't do it. She couldn't kill this cat in cold-blood, without even giving him the dignity of seeing the face of his murderer. She didn't have it in her.
Her gaze flickered back to Paledusk, and a growl began building at the back of her throat, threatening to slip out.
Maybe she couldn't kill him, but she wasn't going to let him go so easily. She would still make him give her some answers about her mother. And, maybe she'd also claw him up a bit. Just to make herself feel better.
Frostmask straightened and brushed her tail against a patch of undergrowth beside her.
Paledusk jolted and whirled around at the sound of rustling.
"Who's there?" he demanded, the fur down his back prickling slightly.
The cold fury magnified until it felt like there was a blizzard howling in her. She stepped out of the shadows of the trees, but she made no move to draw closer to him. Paledusk's eyes widened as he spotted her, but then his gaze flickered away from her to the area around her, searching for more enemy warriors waiting. As the moments stretched on, and he saw no ambush, his harsh green gaze finally settled back on Frostmask. He bared his fangs.
"Trespasser," he growled, his tail lashing. "Why are you here? What do you want?"
A low warning growl rumbled deep in Frostmask's throat.
"You mean you don't recognize me, Father?" Frostmask spat the word like it was poison in her mouth.
Paledusk froze then, his lashing tail suddenly completely still behind him.
The growl grew in volume in Frostmask's chest as she started to pace in front of him, her long claws unsheathed and gleaming pearly in the low light. The only mobile part of Paledusk were his eyes. They were round with fear, which sent a jolt of intoxicating vindication down Frostmask's spine, and they never left her form, tracking her as he would a dangerous dog, liable to strike at any moment.
"...Impossible," Paledusk croaked finally, still staring at her.
"Shut up! Don't you dare lie to me again!" Frostmask spat. "You knew who I was from the moment you first saw me. I look just like her. You knew her name!"
Frostmask stopped her pacing abruptly, and Paledusk stiffened, readying himself for an attack, but Frostmask still made no move towards him.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" Frostmask snarled in a low voice that vibrated with rage. "I asked you. Why did you lie to me?"
Paledusk was still regarding her like she was rabid.
"Frostpaw..." he meowed slowly.
"Frostmask," Frostmask hissed.
"Frostmask." He corrected himself quickly. "You must understand... I had no idea. Of course, I immediately recognized your resemblance to May. But, I... I didn't know. May never told me that I had any kits."
Now it was Frostmask's turn to freeze. Her brow furrowed as she gazed at Paledusk. He was still staring at her with wide eyes, but his posture was no longer aggressive— he just looked stunned. Frostmask shook her head, clenching her jaw against his words.
"No," she growled. "You're lying. Sedgestar told me that you wouldn't have me. That that's what May told him."
Paledusk's eyes went even wider.
"And, you believe him?" he meowed incredulously.
Frostmask swept her tail back and forth behind her, suddenly off balance, but she tried not to let the confusion swirling inside her show on her face.
"I can see you're upset," Paledusk continued before she could say anything, his voice turning soothing. "It seems like you just found this all out from him, Sedgestar. I'm guessing? It must be a lot to take in."
Frostmask didn't respond besides curling her lip up in a snarl. She gave a loud, rumbling growl. She would not allow him to patronize her.
Paledusk seemed to pick up on her sentiment.
"Sedgestar's been keeping this all from you for so long," he said in a neutral voice, dropping the soothing tone. "Why are you trusting that he's telling the full truth about it now?"
"What reason would he have to lie to me about that?" Frostmask growled.
Paledusk inclined his head to the side, arching a brow.
"Isn't it obvious?" he said. "This narrative makes him look better. I rejected you and May, and Sedgestar's the hero that saved you. That would make the idea that he's kept this secret from you your whole life much easier to stomach than the truth— which is that I had no idea about your birth, or that you and May ended up in ShadowClan."
Frostmask's tail twitched, and she growled again. She didn't want to believe him, but doubts about Sedgestar began to pop up and swirl in her head. She knew how cunning her leader was. He could've easily followed the same trail of thought Paledusk laid out.
"But you were May's mate, how could you not know?" Frostmask growled stubbornly.
"Yes, I was," Paledusk admitted. "But, the last time I saw May was in leaf-fall. When you showed up at that first Gathering nearly ten moons later, it had been so long… Of course, I saw May in you, but I thought... I thought you were someone else's. I thought May had taken some other cat as a mate."
"Well, why didn't she go to you in the leaf-bare?" Frostmask snarled at him. "Instead of taking me to ShadowClan?"
Paledusk's tail began to twitch.
"I can't say for sure what reasons May had," he murmured. "But, the last time we parted in leaf-fall wasn't on the best terms…"
Paledusk broke eye contact for the first time to duck his head, rasping his tongue down his chest a few times as if he was ashamed.
"You see… May and I broke up," he admitted. "I told her that I couldn't keep seeing her. I loved her, but it broke the Warrior Code, and I wanted to be totally devoted to my Clan. It was the most difficult thing that I've ever done, and she was upset, understandably so. But, she didn't want to give up her freedom to join SkyClan to be with me."
Frostmask's ears twitched as her uncertainty rose higher.
Again, what Paledusk was saying made sense. In the few memories Frostmask had about May talking about her father, May's tone had always been wistful and fond. And, yet, Frostmask had been born out in the wildness, not in SkyClan's nursery. But, May didn't seem like she'd been bitter with Paledusk about that… It seemed clear that May had indeed chosen to have her out in the forest.
Paledusk inclined his head to the side as if a thought suddenly stuck him.
"Maybe that's what May met by 'I wouldn't have you,'" he murmured. "Because we broke up…"
Frostmask's tail began to swish behind her. She stared at him, at a loss. Earlier, she thought she'd be clawing his pelt off by now, but now she didn't know what she wanted to do.
"...What happened to her?" Paledusk whispered suddenly, making Frostmask blink in surprise. "May."
"She's dead," Frostmask growled.
"I remember you telling me that at that other Gathering," Paledusk said softly. "But, why did she die?"
Frostmask looked away from him for the first time, staring out over the icy river instead.
"Starvation," she meowed flatly. "She was too weak to live, even once we made it to ShadowClan."
Silence hung between the two of them for a few long moments.
"I'm sorry Frostmask," Paledusk said finally, shattering the quiet. "I still loved her, you know. Even when we couldn't be together. If I had known..."
Frostmask shook her head violently, cutting him off.
"Save it," Frostmask growled, locking her gaze back on him. "Whatever you knew or didn't know then, or how things could be different, you're still my enemy now. Your cats just attacked my camp."
Paledusk stared at her in silence for several heartbeats like he was a snowy, green-eyed owl.
"Is that why you came here then?" he asked. "To attack me? To get revenge for the ambush? Or, for me not being there for you?"
Frostmask didn't respond, only lashed her tail.
"I don't want to fight my own kit," Paledusk meowed.
Frostmask bared her teeth.
Why does that matter? It's not like it would've stopped you before. And besides, whether or not we share blood, that doesn't change the fact that you still killed Swoopstrike.
The thought echoed, bouncing around in her skull until it was the only thing in her mind. The image of Paledusk staggering away from Swoopstrike's limp form.
Frostmask sunk her claws deeply into the snowy ground, raking a razor sharp gaze over Paledusk, and for the first time, she noticed at small bundle at his feet. Frostmask's brow furrowed as she looked at it more closely. It was a bundle of mangled herbs. The fur on her shoulders bristled, her stomach clenching as her rage heightened.
Herbs stolen from ShadowClan.
Paledusk followed her gaze down to the leaves.
"These were taken from the ShadowClan camp weren't they?" Paledusk asked, echoing her thoughts.
Frostmask just growled in answer, her muscles tensing as she prepared to spring at him. She imagined raking her claws down his sides, ripping into his ear, shoving him away, grabbing the leaves—
"I'm supposed to pass them off to RiverClan at dawn. But..." Paledusk cast a few quick glances over his shoulder to make sure there were no other cats around, and no RiverClanners on the opposite bank.
Then he reached his paw down and quickly pushed them a tail-length towards Frostmask.
"Here. You take them," Paledusk said. "I'll just tell RiverClan we were unable to retrieve any herbs."
Frostmask froze. Her muscles stiffened in shock and confusion, her gaze flickering from Paledusk to the herbs, and back again. It felt like a trap.
Paledusk rumbled a brief purr, seemingly amused by her bewilderment.
"Think of it as proof of my intentions," he said, slightly tilting his head to the side. "I would like things to be cordial between us, Frostmask."
Frostmask didn't respond to him. Worry nipped at her pelt; it still seemed too good to be true. But, ShadowClan needed those herbs, desperately…
Ever so slowly, she crept forward, all of her muscles tense and ready to leap out of the way if Paledusk sprung at her. She didn't take her eyes off of him for a moment as she snatched the herbs up in her mouth before rapidly backing up a safe distance away.
But, Paledusk made no move towards her the whole time. Her just continued watching her with a curious green gaze, as if she was some sort of rare, interesting bug he had found.
"I'm glad we finally got to properly meet, Frostmask," Paledusk said.
Frostmask narrowed her eyes at him in furious slits in response, so he would know that she still hated him. But, her tail betrayed her by twitching with indecision.
The sky was lightening slightly behind Paledusk, heralding the approaching dawn and making Paledusk's white figure glow softly in the low light. She could see his resemblance to her now— the tufted ears, the large, slanted eyes, although his were a vibrant, almost aggressively bright, green, while she had her mother's gentle blue. Frostmask's gaze settled on the scars on his face for a moment, tracing the one left by Swoopstrike that swiped past one of those bright eyes. Giving a soft growl around the herbs in her mouth, Frostmask whirled around and vanished into the forest, pointing her paws back in the direction of ShadowClan's camp.
Author's Note:
Ya'll, I'm so excited! The secret's out! Paledusk confrontation! Yes! I've been waiting to get to this chapter for so long haha. And, with the conclusion of this chapter, the longest day in the world that started at Chapter 27 is over! This is a pretty important chapter, so I really hope you guys like it! Thank you all for reading and an extra thank you for the reviews!
Reviews: Stacy Rockfall: Thank you! And, I really like your speculation, but I don't want to give anything away!
jason1777717: Hey! I sent this to you in a PM, but I'm not sure if you got a chance to see it, to I'll repeat it here: Haha now that you point it out, I went back a reread that section, and it does sound pretty similar to that line from My Pride! I didn't mean to reference it purposefully (I mostly just wanted to write a sort of light scene between Pine and Frost to lift the mood a bit after the battle. And, Pineshade seems like someone who's into scars lol.) But, I did watch that episode in the timeframe I was writing this chapter... so I'm pretty sure it got in my head, and I echoed it unconsciously here lol.
SavvySpirit: They are so cute together haha, and I love writing their cute scenes! And, yes RiverClan's motivations are a bit more mysterious right now, but I don't want to give too much away!