Whoo hoo! I'm almost caught up. If you've made it this far, you da mvp.

By the way, I'm sorry if this sucks so far. I have a cold and the pressure in my sinuses is making me feel like my head will explode. I literally spent an hour drawing a map of the (ninja) world for this, then plotted out the next four or so chapters in the Sakana arc. This is coming at you from my kitchen (where my computer is), fresh out of the mind of someone loopy on cold medicine and halloween candy.

I woke up with not one, but two immortals bitching about how long I was sleeping.

"I'm awake, dammit." I finally groaned, sitting up.

"You look like you tried to fuck a Raiton user," Hidan snickered.

"Better that than looking like I used my head to fuck a jar of hair gel," I retorted. He sneered at me while Kakuzu laughed.

We continued south, the two trading me off. This time, I managed not to nap, instead opting to pester the immortals until they threatened bodily harm. Then, I would loudly give myself a point for irritating them. So far, I had 12 points- 9 from Hidan, and 3 from Kakuzu.

"Sakana, enough." Kakuzu finally snapped, and I pouted.

"Alright, Kakuzu." I reluctantly sighed, crossing my arms, remembering a game I had used to play with my cousins during long trips. "I spy something... tan."

"Its the dirt," Hidan said. "That's the only fucking thing there is around here." He kicked up a pile of sand, making me cough and sputter from my position on his back.

"Asshole," I hissed, covering my mouth and nose. "And no, it's not the dirt."

Hidan stopped walking, and leaned down to deposit me on the ground. I slinked off of him, but Kakuzu didn't stop to let me climb onto his back. I only shrugged, and found myself walking alongside the two of them down the path. Hidan side-eyed me.

"What is it, then?"

I chuckled, and nodded at Kakuzu. "His skin."

Hidan barked out a laugh, and I joined in. Kakuzu turned to look at us, glaring. "Pick up the pace, or I'll make you."

I sped up, my short legs burning to keep up with the two trained ninjas. "Not my fault I have corgi legs," I grumbled at the same time Hidan said,"It's not her fault she's fuckin' short." I glared at him, then stuck out my tongue.

The conversation died out shortly after, and we walked for a while before Kakuzu decided we needed to set the pace higher, and slung me over his shoulder before he and Hidan took off running throughout the large tree branches.

After complaining to be put in a more comfortable position, the miser shifted his grip on me, and continued his sprint through the trees.

Arriving at the outskirts of a small village, Kakuzu set me down and ordered me to stay until he returned. Hidan sat down at the base of a tree to pray, and I sat a few feet away in the grass, picking at the blades absent-mindedly. After about 15 minutes, Kakuzu returned with rice, meat, and some water. We ate in relative silence, waiting for Hidan to finish his ritual and eat before setting off again.

During out next bout of walking, the landscape changed drastically; the trees spead out sporadically until they were completely gone and we were surrounded with the large, grassy plains of farmland. I counted cows as we passed them, no doubt a blur of color to the placid bovines.

Eventually I grew bored of the silence, and found myself drifting off again as we sped up more, running along the path winding through the pastures.

When we stopped, it was abruptly. I was jarred awake by Hidan's loud curse of "dammit!"

A glance around our surroundings told me we had started back north; and we were in a hilly part of the land of fire, and the sun was close to setting.

"We're close to a village occupied by Konoha Ninja," Kakuzu told me quietly. "Hidan, find a cave where we can camp for the night."

While the Jashinist silently crept through the cave, Kakuzu turned to me and placed a small coin pouch in my hand.

"There are small food stands down the road. You will act as a passing wanderer and procure rations for us. Bread and water only."

I nodded, glad to be of some use during our trip, and set off toward my destination. The street was narrow, but not empty.

Kakuzu was right; there were leaf nins ahead of me, standing near one of the vendors.

I chose a different stand to buy from, pretending not to watch the three ninja a few stalls down.

The old woman wrapped the bread and handed me the canteen of water. I deposited the coins in her hand and nodded at her in thanks. She smiled and waved at me as I turned to leave.

However, I didn't make it far. A hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"Miss, I think you dropped this." One of the leaf-nin had been holding out the empty coin pouch I had apparently dropped.

"Ah, thank you," I smiled, taking the pouch from his hand and turning to leave.

"Are you from around here?" The ninja asked. "What's your name?"

I froze. Oh god no. "My name is Kimiko, and I'm just passing through." I waved my hand, adding, "With my friends."

"Where are they?" His brown eyes flicked behind me.

"Oh, they're setting up camp. I just came for some food." I showed him the bread and water, "Now, I really must go. It was nice meeting you."

I left before he could say anything else, hoping he wasn't watching me as I walked down the road, hopefully out of sight.

Rounding the bend, I nearly bumped into Kakuzu as he jumped down from the trees.

"What took so long?" He grumbled, taking the bread from me.

"One of the leaf-nin stopped me. I think he was into me." I shrugged. "I told him I was with friends we were camping in the woods, then left."

Kakuzu grunted, then picked me up and slung me over his shoulder. We reached Hidan a few moments later, and Kakuzu set me down.

Hidan had found a cave, we entered and Kakuzu used a doton to seal the entrance, then a katon to ignite a small fire to fend off the cold of the night. Hidan removed his cloak and spread it across the dirt, settling down. I sat against the wall opposite him, watching as he withdrew a small scroll from his side, then unsealed it.

Inside was a small pile of fish, apparently. He began grilling the fish over the fire, using a kunai to descale it. After cooking them all, he offered one to me and set about eating his portion. Kakuzu also consumed a small pile, tossing the bones into the fire.

Hidan and I followed suit, each of us mesmerized by the tiny white fishbones charring in the flames.

After some time, I stood up and decided to lay my cloak out as well, bunching part of it under my arm to use as a pillow, then let the crackling of the fire lull me to sleep.

I awoke suddenly, my heart beating fast. Someone's hard settled on the small of my back, and I looked up through teary eyes to see Kakuzu frowning at me.

I wiped my eyes, sniffling slightly.

"You alright now, kid?" Kakuzu asked, seeming sincere. I nodded and he removed his hand.

"Sorry, Kakuzu-san." I mumbled. "I don't remember what I was dreaming about, so I don't know why I'm crying."

"Quiet." He replied, though not harshly. "You kept saying a name, Jun?"

I nodded. "Jun."

He scoffed, then retreated to his previous spot on the wall opposite the entrance of the cave. After a moment, he picked up his discarded kunai and began sharpening it again.

"Sorry," I said again, and he looked up at me.

"Most nightmares are memories of torturous experiences one has endured," he responded after a moment. "I heard quite a bit of your calling out. This Jun didn't treat you too kindly."

I shrugged, confused as to why he would even care. "I guess you could say that."

Kakuzu didn't respond for a few long moments, and I began to think the conversation had ended as abruptly as it had started. "I have an ethics code," he suddenly said, confusing me. "As unbelievable as it seems, its true. When you are in a romantic relationship with somebody, you don't harm them."

"Look at you, the romantic." I chuckled dryly.

"Hm." The miser responded, returning his now sharpened kunai to its pouch. "I'm aware that I'll be stuck with you for the time being, so I will play nice. However, I'll have you know that I've been married three times."

I scoffed. "I'll believe that when Itachi tells everyone his favorite color is pink."

Kakuzu glared at me, and I shrugged back. "You're a pretty spiteful individual- plus, weddings cost a lot of money."

Kakuzu rolled his motley eyes at me. "Not when your bride is a payment for services rendered," he stated.

"Wow," I whistled. "And what happened to them?"

Kakuzu looked at me as if I was stupid. Which, admittedly... he was right. To a point.

"Death," was all he said. I didn't press the matter, but did move a bit closer to him.

After a few more minutes of silence ticked by, I bit my fingernail. "Kakuzu-san," I suddenly called.

"Yes, brat?" The tan murdered raised a brow at me. "What is it?"

I rolled my shoulders against the rock wall I was leaning against, before asking: "What's it like to be strong?"

This time, he chuckled. "Do you want some formal training?"

"More or less. I don't know who I want to be. What type of ninja I'll train to be."

He grunted, understanding me. "My jutsu is not for you," he finally said. "Though, for a price, I might train you in the basics."

I felt like I was making a deal with thr devil, but I agreed anyways. "What price?"

The miser just smirked beneath his mask, a low chuckle escaping him. "We'll just say you owe me a favor."

I inclinedy head slightly, imagining what terrible things Kakuzu would ask me to do. "Alright, as long as its not too bad..."

He made me shake on it, using his Earth Grude Fear to outstretch his hand to me. I shook it, then he retracted his hand and sat back against the cave wall, quietly telling me to sleep.

When my eyes opened next, Hidan was shrieking and stomping out Kakuzu's fire. The entrance to the cave was still sealed, so the cave filled with smoke fairly quickly.

Kakuzu stood and unsealed the door, leaving Hidan to destroy the evidence we had been in the cave. I sat up and followed the miser outside.

I stumbled out into the daylight, holding a hand in front of my face. "Why are we travelling during the day anyways?" I asked, noting Kakuzu was standing in front of me, quickly thumbing through the bills in his wallet. "Won't that make it easier for us to be spotted?"

The stitched man turned to me, bluntly stating, "They expect us to be moving during the night. We're using the cover of day."

"Hiding in plain sight," I grinned. "I like it."

I felt Hidan's presence behind me, and I turned my head to greet him. He was unbelievably tense. I looked to Kakuzu to see how odd Hidan was acting, only to notice that he was also alert.

"Guy-" I started, before Hidan's hand clamped over my mouth. "Mmf-"

"Quiet." He growled lowly in my ear. I froze, my ears picking up the snapping of twigs.

"Hidan," Kakuzu ordered almost inaudibly, and the man behind me was gone in a flash, intercepting a ninja suddenly springing at us from the trees.

My eyes met with the miser's, before he was suddenly engaged in battle with another random ninja.

My eyes could barely keep up with their movements, much less the sudden crashing of jutsu and debris flying around me. I lost my balance when the ground shook violently, but before I fell, I was caught in someone's arms. Looking up, I recognized the ninja that had spoken to me the day before.

"Kimiko," he said. "Did they hurt you?"

Oh god. "N-no," I breathed out, hoping to Jashin that my immortals would get me away from this guy.

"You know who they are, right?" His blue eyes peirced mine, he was genuinely concerned. "They're the Akatsuki. We have to get you out of here."

Hidan and Kakuzu were still fighting off the squads of ninja who were apparently waiting to ambush us. And the dumbasses walked right into it.

The man picked me up, then formed a handsign; teleporting us away. The last thing I saw before blacking out was a surprisingly distraught look on Hidan's face.

"Wake up," a voice gently called me. "Kimiko."

I sat up abruptly, smashing my forehead into the leaf nin's face.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry."

He was holding his nose, and I noted I had given him a nosebleed. Nice.

"It's okay," he breathed out after a moment. "I shouldn't have had my face right above yours."

I swallowed. "Where are we? And what's your name?"

"My name is Jun," he said, and I held back a wince. "Those men, they are very dangerous ninja."

And I'm training to be one. I thought, but tried to look confused. "The silver haired one was talking about sacrifice," I said. It wasn't a lie. He did talk about sacrifice. A lot."That's Hidan the Jashinist. Count yourself lucky- he could have murdered you so easily."

No kidding. "Thank you, I suppose."

Jun smiled at me, and I felt a wave of nausea. He shared not only a namesake with the man who tortured me, but his eye and hair color as well. That smile was a sick and sinister smile. Twisted by his true intentions. This man was just as dangerous as his namesake was. As he spoke, I felt a pang of terror stab through my chest.

"You're welcome. Although... Considering you weren't harmed in any way, and you don't seem to be shaken up by the fact that you were with murderers, I could assume that you aren't travelling with friends." His eyes gleamed. "My, my, Kimiko."

"What do you want?" I bit out.

He chuckled darkly. "I've got you, I don't want anything else."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and stood up suddenly, gripping the kunai holtered on my leg. He was quicker than me, suddenly tackling me and twisting my wrist.

As I struggled, he tried to tear my clothing off. Barely managing to slice his flesh, I squealed as he twisted my wrist further. I dropped the blade, refusing to let another man use me for sadistic pleasure.

Feeling all the rage boil inside of me, I used my free hand to grab the kunai and bring it closer to me.

I felt the fabric of my shirt tear and he grabbed a fistful of my hair and forced me to flip over onto my back.

While he was trying to cut through my bottoms, I brought the kunai to my mouth, and brought down his destruction.

His blood was tangy, thick, and sweet. I bit down on my tongue as fire spread through my veins, the pain was so white-hot, I felt myself blacking out again.

"Ah, you made the right decision." Jashin's deep voice filled my consciousness. I opened my eyes to see darkness.

We were floating in a black space, unoccupied by anything.

"Use my power wisely. My prophet will guide you," he closed his eyes, and I felt my lids being pulled down as well. "Remember to pray- and next time? Draw a damn circle."

Ahhh! Sakana is now converted. Betcha expected Hidan and Kakuzu to save her, didnt you??? Gotcha! Until next time, lovelies. ~~Mistress-chan