Frostmask padded back into camp, a measly shrew clutched in her jaws. It had been all she'd managed to find on her way back to camp after meeting with Paledusk. She wished she'd been able to catch more prey, but the sky had started lightening, and she knew she should be back at camp before sunrise or she'd definitely be missed when Grovepelt organized patrols for the day.
As she ducked under the thorn barrier, her paws were tired from roaming the forest all night, but her still mind buzzed from her conversation with Paledusk.
He seemed different this time. More open and less abrasive. Charming almost. I know he's still got a temper, but maybe he's actually friendlier than I thought. Maybe he does just want to get to know me.
Her ears flicked as her mind shifted to what Paledusk told her about Slatewhisker.
That must have been terrible. Maybe missing his brother is what makes Paledusk so temperamental. Larchtail did say they were inseparable before Slatewhisker vanished.
Frostmask blinked, a sudden thought striking her.
Larchtail! She's Slatewhisker's daughter, so that makes her my kin! She has littermates too, doesn't she? Argh, but I can't remember their names. Do any of them have kits? Either way, that's a lot of kin! I have cousins! More family in SkyClan.
Frostmask's thoughts reeled as she padded through the still-quiet camp to drop the shrew in the fresh-kill pile.
She could hardly believe it. She'd gone so long feeling like she had no blood relatives anywhere, and now she suddenly had almost more family members than she knew what to do with.
Frostmask felt a small flicker of warmth in her chest.
I'm glad that out of all of the cats in SkyClan, I'm related to Larchtail. She'd be the one I'd pick.
Frostmask's thoughts turned to the next gathering, and she began to wonder if she'd be able to see Larchtail then. Of course she couldn't tell her that Paledusk was her father, but it would be nice to get to know the SkyClan warrior better.
Frostmask blinked, her thoughts suddenly interrupted by a voice.
"Frostmask, may I speak to you for a moment?" Grovepelt meowed.
Frostmask's stomach flipped as dread spiked in her. She turned towards him, and she spotted the deputy sitting in the deep shadow of Clanrock, evidently waiting for the rest of the Clan to gather so he could assign the patrols for the day.
Oh no, is he going to ask where I went all night? And, why I only came back with a shrew?!
Her mind spun for a good excuse even as her paws carried her over to him. Frostmask gingerly sat down next to Grovepelt, her muscles tense in preparation for an intense questioning. Grovepelt green eyes were unreadable as he gazed at her.
"I'm glad I ran into you this morning. I wanted to tell you that Sedgestar and I've spoken. I know he told you the truth of your ancestry," he said, his voice low.
Frostmask blinked. This wasn't the line of questioning that she was expecting, but her muscles stayed tense regardless.
"Yes," she said tightly. "I know you knew it too."
Grovepelt dipped his head in concession.
"And, you're angry with him, with me, with Redclaw?" he asked, his mew calm.
"Yes," Frostmask repeated, the tightness in her muscles only worsening.
"I'm sorry for the way Sedgestar told you," Grovepelt said, his gaze lowering in regret. "He let his fear and his anger at the attack get the better of him."
"At least I know now," Frostmask murmured bitterly as her tail-tip twitched. "It's better than letting everyone lie to me my whole life."
"Sedgestar thought he was doing what was best for you and the Clan," Grovepelt said, an ear angling towards her.
A spark of anger lit in Frostmask's chest.
"How does he know what's best for me?" she snapped, glaring at him.
Grovepelt gazed evenly back, and Frostmask broke eye-contact first, dipping her head to him in a sort of apology. Even though she was upset, she knew that the wise deputy still deserved her respect.
"I'm sorry, Grovepelt," she murmured. "I shouldn't yowl at you. Honestly, I'm not that angry with you… I know you were just following Sedgestar's orders."
"And, Redclaw was not?" Grovepelt challenged, flashing her a sharp glance from his green eyes.
The fur on Frostmask's shoulder's stiffened.
"It's different," Frostmask said, doing her best to keep a growl from her voice. "Redclaw raised me."
"Yes, she did. And, she loves you," Grovepelt said with gentle insistence. "Even though she knows the truth. It never mattered to her. Doesn't that make her love all the more genuine and true?"
Frostmask blinked hard, turning to gaze out into their camp so Grovepelt couldn't see the pain in her eyes.
"Do you know the number of times Redclaw came storming into a Sedgestar's den to yowl at him about any little thing he was thinking about doing in regards to you?" Grovepelt continued in a soft voice. "She always fought for you."
"Then why did she lie to me?" Frostmask whispered in a hoarse voice.
Grovepelt hesitated for a moment.
"She's a loyal warrior. It would've been difficult for her to disobey direct orders from Sedgestar," Grovepelt murmured. "And, maybe she also thought it was the right thing to do. That you'd be happier in ShadowClan if you didn't know."
Frostmask's ears flattened. Maybe that was true. Things would certainly be less complicated if she didn't have any SkyClan kin.
Frostmask sighed, shuffling her paws on the ground as the tension drained from her body.
"Maybe you're right," Frostmask said softly. "But, it still hurts. What Sedgestar and Redclaw did to me. The lie…"
She stared down at her feet, picking at the ground a bit more with her claws.
"It was already hard enough for me growing up, feeling like I didn't belong because I wasn't born here. But, I tried really hard to prove myself, only to find out all my fears were true. That ShadowClan and Sedgestar doesn't trust me. It feels like it took away everything in my life. Everything I worked for in ShadowClan. Even who I thought I was."
Her brow furrowed.
"I feel like I'm still trying to figure out who I am now that I do know,"she confessed.
Grovepelt sighed.
"I wish Sedgestar had spoken to me before he talked to you that night," he said, his voice contrite. "I would've tried to stop him. It was a huge mistake for him to accuse you like that, and I know he's sorry for it."
Frostmask frowned down at the ground, not quite sure if she believed him. She did at least think that Grovepelt believed he was telling the truth, but did Sedgestar actually think that?
…That she couldn't say.
"It's true. He is," Grovepelt said, evidently reading the doubts on her face. "I know it will be difficult for you to forgive him for doubting your loyalty, but Sedgestar still thinks you are an exceptional warrior, Frostmask."
Frostmask's tail-twitched, but she still didn't respond.
"Have you every wondered why Sedgestar made you a mentor as such a young warrior?" Grovepelt asked.
Frostmask's ears pricked in confusion at the sudden change in conversation. She glanced over at Grovepelt.
"Because he thinks that Lizardpaw and I are a good match," she meowed. "That we understand each other because of the trials I went through, and that he'll go through, to become a warrior. Sedgestar told me so himself."
Grovepelt dipped his head.
"That is all true," he murmured. "But, even if Lizardpaw was not deaf, I feel confident that one of Snakeeyes' or Dawntail's kits would've been assigned as your apprentice."
"Why?" Frostmask asked, puzzled.
"Well I'm not getting any younger," Grovepelt said with a quiet, amused purr. "I know Sedgestar had been molding Swoopstrike to be my replacement as deputy, but after his tragic death… Sedgestar is again searching among the younger generations. As all deputies are required to train an apprentice before accepting the role, I believe you are a candidate."
Frostmask stiffened suddenly, her eyes widening.
"What?" she said. "Really?"
She expected Grovepelt to start purring in amusement, almost certain that this was all some sort of big joke, but Grovepelt just nodded, his green gaze serious.
"He hadn't spoken to me about it directly," Grovepelt meowed. "But, his intentions seem obvious enough. At least, to someone who has known him as long as I have."
Does Sedgestar ever do anything without having an ulterior motive?!
Frostmask blinked in shock before bowing her head, her mind spinning as it processed Grovepelt's words.
Me?! Possibly deputy? Is that even something I want?
She gave her head a small shake, her chest tightening in anxiety. It felt like way too much responsibility. Too much pressure.
Besides, how could I ever be a deputy to a leader who doesn't trust me?
She blinked again, trying to send away the worry so she could focus.
There must be other candidates though. Sedgestar might not even pick me, even if something does suddenly happen to Grovepelt. The other cats that got their first apprentices around when I did were Pineshade, Dampfang and Rowanheart. Rowanheart and Pineshade make sense. Rowanheart is Sedgestar's son and a brave, level-headed warrior. And, Pineshade has always been a natural leader… But, is Dampfang really a candidate too?!
Frostmask frowned and tried to look at his merits objectively.
He is an exceptionally talented fighter. And, brave. He isn't afraid to challenge Sedgestar, which others might see as disrespectful, but maybe Sedgestar thinks it's a good idea to have a deputy who can stand up to his leader? Although I certainly wouldn't what him as my deputy, even given those positive traits…
"Does that mean you believe the other candidates to be Rowanheart, Pineshade, and Dampfang?" Frostmask asked, blinking away her thoughts.
Grovepelt dipped his head in confirmation.
"See, that quick mind is what Sedgestar finds so impressive about you," he meowed the compliment with a soft purr. "Yes. I think those three are the others he's considering. And, I suspect perhaps Snakeeyes as well."
"Do any of them know?" Frostmask asked, her tail twitching.
Grovepelt shook his head.
"I don't believe so," he said. "Not unless they figured it out on their own. I don't think even Swoopstrike knew, and he had been basically singled-out by the end. Sedgestar likes to keep his intentions close to his chest, and I think he doesn't want the knowledge of his interest influencing anyone's behavior."
Frostmask's brow furrowed in confusion.
"Then why did you tell me?" she asked.
Grovepelt tilted his head to the side.
"Well, I was hoping it would help restore some of your faith in Sedgestar," he said. "And, I don't think it will go to your head as it may with our more… arrogantly-inclined friends."
Frostmask gave her head a small shake. What Grovepelt was saying still hardly seemed real to her tired mind. How could she really be on Sedgestar's short-list of potential deputies? It felt like something out of a dream. Or, a nightmare.
"Still, probably best to keep this information to yourself," Grovepelt continued with a purr. "I doubt Sedgestar will be very pleased with me if it becomes the gossip of the camp."
Frostmask gave a small sigh.
So many secrets…
Her shoulders sagged almost like they were weighed down by the force of them, but she dipped her to Grovepelt.
"Of course," she said.
Grovepelt nodded, and got to his paws to leave her. Some cats had emerged from the warriors' den now and were grooming themselves in camp as they waited for Grovepelt's orders.
"Grovepelt?" Frostmask asked before he could pad off, suddenly remembering her conversation with Paledusk.
"Yes?" he said, glancing back at her with his kind eyes.
"Er— I have weird question," she said, forcing a purr. "Does the name 'Darkstar' mean anything to you? I overheard some cats talking about a 'Darkstar' during the gathering, and it's been driving me crazy with curiosity."
"Darkstar was the leader of SkyClan when I was a young cat, before Fennelstar," Grovepelt said, studying Frostmask curiously. "But, that's ancient history now. Why would cats be talking about him?"
"I'm not sure either," Frostmask lied, hoping Grovepelt didn't notice the fact that her pelt prickled uncomfortably. "But, I think it was a group of older SkyClan warriors talking about him. Something about how the fighting between ThunderClan and SkyClan was Darkstar's fault."
Grovepelt's eyes lit up with a memory.
"Ah! Darkstar gave away SkyClan land to ThunderClan towards the end of his reign," Grovepelt said.
"Really?" Frostmask said, widening her eyes with manufactured surprise. "Why'd he do that? Maybe the reason that SkyClan took ThunderClan territory this past moon is because they feel like they deserve their old land back?"
Grovepelt's tail twitched, his eyes unfocused as he seemed to lose himself in deep thought.
"I don't remember why he did it," he said. "But, I think that could certainly be why SkyClan is being so aggressive with ThunderClan now."
His gaze sharpened, and he nodded approvingly at Frostmask.
"Thank you for telling me this," he meowed. "I'll pass it on to Sedgestar. It's always useful for us to understand our enemies' motives."
Frostmask dipped her head to Grovepelt, and he padded off towards the group of warriors to assign patrols. During their conversation, the barest hint of the sun had crested the horizon, and the ShadowClan camp had come alive. Snakeeyes and Rowanheart were taking Hollowpaw out of camp for training. Darkpelt was chatting with Greytail and Flymask as they shared a meal by the elders' den, and Frostmask could hear Mosspounce shamelessly flirting with Thornheart as the two of them left on a patrol with Dappledpelt and Leafbreeze.
Frostmask stifled a yawn. She decided she wouldn't allow herself to nap until it was sun-high. The thought of slacking off on her duties because she was too tired from speaking with Paledusk during the night made her feel terribly guilty. She needed to help take care of her Clan, regardless of how tired she was.
A flash of motion in the corner of her eye caught her attention. Frostmask spotted Redclaw padding into the nursery, carrying a bundle of moss in her jaws. Frostmask hesitated a moment, her heartbeat picking up, before she padded after her, feeling encouraged to speak to her as her conversation with Grovepelt replayed in her head.
As Frostmask peered beneath the roomy bramble bush, she saw Redclaw, Larkfoot, Amberberry and Pineshade inside. Larkfoot was busy clearing the nursery of old moss, while Amberberry plugged drafty holes in the bramble wall, and Pineshade and Redclaw arranged fresh moss into a new nest. They were clearly getting the nursery, which had been unused for a moon, ready for new occupants.
Frostmask's thoughts about Redclaw all evaporated as her gaze settled on Pineshade, her stomach clenching in dread.
Why is she helping the queens fix up the nursery? Oh StarClan, she can't be… She and Dampfang aren't—
"Frostmask!" Larkfoot's pleasantly surprised voice interrupted Frostmask's thoughts when she noticed her head sticking in the den. "Is there something you need?"
"Uh… just wondering what was happening in here," Frostmask managed to say, her gaze flicking from Larkfoot back to Pineshade, who had stopped smoothing down moss to glance up at her.
Amberberry purred loudly.
"I'm expecting my second litter!" she announced, her eyes shining. "I'm due in little under a moon!"
Frostmask's gaze flew to Amberberry as relief crashed over her. She realized that the queen did look a little plumper than all of the other cats in the den, who had a typical leaf-bare leanness to them.
I don't know how I missed that! Maybe I'm more sleepy than I thought.
"Oh! Congratulations!" she said quickly to hide her surprise.
Frostmask stepped into the den and gave the golden-furred queen a purr. Now that her feelings of surprise and relief that Pineshade wasn't the one expecting kits faded, a warm glow of happiness for Amberberry kindled in her chest.
"Mosspounce and Murmurstep must be eager to meet their little siblings," Frostmask added. "And, I'm sure Kestrelmoon is ecstatic as well."
Amberberry nodded.
"I can't wait to be raising little kits in the nursery again," she meowed wistfully. "You all are so big now!"
"I feel exactly the same way," Larkfoot purred.
Amberberry leaned against her friend's side.
"I'm glad you'll be in the nursery to help me out again," Amberberry said to the older queen before shooting Redclaw a look. "Although we'll miss you Redclaw!"
Redclaw purred but didn't look up from the moss that she was meticulously placing down. Redclaw's shoulders were tight, and Frostmask bent her head to rasp her tongue down her chest self-consciously as she realized that Redclaw must be feeling awkward because she was here.
"…Unless you and Weaseltail decide to have a second litter as well," Amberberry teased. "Then it'll be just like old times!"
Redclaw glanced up then, her gaze flicking over Frostmask and Pineshade before resting on Amberberry.
"I think all those kits already gave me more than enough trouble the first time around," she said drily. "If I had a second litter, those ones might very much kill me."
The queens purred while Pineshade rolled her eyes, and Frostmask dipped her head to rasp her tongue down her chest in embarrassment again. Frostmask then picked her way slowly over to Redclaw, being careful not to kick over any of the piles of old moss in the process.
"Hey," Pineshade meowed suddenly as Frostmask stepped by her. "Why were you looking at me like that?"
Frostmask blinked, glancing over at her.
"Like what?" she asked.
"When you first came into the nursery, you were staring at me like I'd grown a second head," Pineshade said with a snort. "So what's wrong? Have I got old moss all over my face or something?"
"Oh," Frostmask said with an awkward purr, her tail-tip twitching. "Er— well for a moment when I saw you helping with fixing up the den, I thought maybe… you were the one expecting kits."
"Me?!" Pineshade said, her eyes widening.
Pineshade shook her head, an incredulous purr of amusement bursting from her chest.
"No way!" she meowed. "I'm never having kits."
Frostmask's eyes widened slightly.
"Never?" she echoed. "Why not?"
"Well, I'd hate being stuck in camp for six moons," Pineshade said, her purr fading and her brow furrowing as her mood turned serious. "Not to mention the thought of tiny bodies growing inside of me freaks me out."
Pineshade shuddered before glancing around at the three queens in the den with her.
"No offense," she added. "It's not that I don't like kits. It's that I just don't want any of my own."
"None taken," Larkfoot purred. "There's no shame in not wanting to raise kits. And, queens should only have kits if they want them. No one should be forced into it!"
Frostmask's brow furrowed.
Do I want kits one day?
It wasn't something that she's really considered before. She'd always liked kits; even as an apprentice she hadn't minded playing with or watching over Snakeeyes' litter when the queen needed a break from them. But, the thought of having kits of her own filled her with a confusing mixture of dread and excitement. Excitement about finally having family around her who were related to her by blood… But dread about the kits being treated poorly as she was— they'd be part rogue and part SkyClan after all.
And, would she even know how to be a good mother to them? She had Redclaw, Amberberry, and Larkfoot to model herself after of course, but she wouldn't be able to protect the kits from everything, no matter how hard she tried… and how would she know if she was doing the right thing for them?
Frostmask's stomach sank as a new realization weighed it down.
Which must be exactly what Redclaw felt about me.
Frostmask's eyes flickered back over to her. Redclaw had gotten back to work with forming the new nest. Frostmask gazed at the heartbreakingly familiar pattern of red and black patches on her side.
Frostmask had often thought of Autumnleap as her biggest defender, but now she realized she was wrong. Before Autumnleap had even become her friend, it was Redclaw who was there. Starting from the instant that May died, Redclaw had been the one guarding and supporting her.
She didn't have to. Maybe things would've even be easier for Redclaw if she didn't— it certainly would've caused her less strife between Redclaw and Pineshade at least. And, yet, she hadn't even hesitated. One moment May had been next to Frostmask, cold and gone, and then it was Redclaw, fiery and alive, curling her tail around her and pulling her into her soft pelt. Arguing for Frostmask, even against her own kits, and according to Grovepelt, fighting for her behind the scenes.
How many other things had Frostmask taken for granted from her? All the quiet sacrifices Redclaw must have made when she chose to love and raise Frostmask despite the insistence of many others who told her not to bother.
She always tried her best to take care of me… and I've just been treating her like snake-dung lately.
Frostmask's whiskers drooped. She took the last few steps that brought her to Redclaw's side.
"Can I talk to you outside for a moment?" Frostmask murmured.
Redclaw's ears pricked in surprise, and she glanced up at Frostmask. She stared at her for a moment before giving a nod and straightening. The two of them padded out of the den, and Frostmask led them to a secluded area by the thorn barrier. Frostmask turned to face Redclaw, swallowing around the lump that suddenly appeared in her throat.
"I- I…" she rasped, staring at the ground by Redclaw's feet since she was unable to meet the queen's eyes. "I understand now that you were just doing your best. I shouldn't hold it against you. I'm really sorry for the way I've been acting."
Redclaw was silent for a moment, and Frostmask made herself look up at her face, half-expecting a scolding from the stern queen. But, Redclaw's green eyes were soft as she stared at Frostmask's face.
"I know I'm not May," Redclaw whispered. "And, I could never replace her, nor do I want to. But, I do love you Frostmask."
Frostmask's paws shook slightly.
"Even though I said so many terrible things to you?" Frostmask rasped, her heart twisting in guilt.
Redclaw gave a brief rumble of laughter.
"Yes," she said. "Of course I still do."
"I love you too, Redclaw," Frostmask whispered.
A loud purr burst from Redclaw chest, and she stepped forward, pressing her cheek against Frostmask's, and at that gentle contact, a dam broke inside of Frostmask. Her body began to tremble uncontrollably as she pressed her face into Redclaw's neck and shoulder.
"You wanted me when no one else did." Frostmask's voice was thick with a sob and muffled by Redclaw's fur. "Even when I didn't want to let you in. You still chose me. Thank you."
"It's okay, little one," Redclaw soothed, pressing her muzzle against Frostmask's cheek. "I am so grateful StarClan led you to here to ShadowClan."
For a few moments, neither of the two spoke. The only sound was the constant, soothing rumble of Redclaw's purr as she comforted Frostmask. Once Frostmask calmed down, she pulled away from Redclaw, her pelt prickling slightly as some embarrassment about her sudden breakdown set in.
"Why don't we go back to the nursery to finish helping the others?" Redclaw suggested gently.
Frostmask nodded, clearing her throat awkwardly. But, Redclaw didn't seem to mind her embarrassment, and Frostmask felt lighter than she had in sunrises as she followed Redclaw back to the nursery. As they approached the den, Frostmask saw that Murmurstep had come over to help too, and she had more new moss for the nests clutched in her jaws as she ducked into the nursery. She was smoothing it down with Pineshade's help as Redclaw and Frostmask entered back into the den. Pineshade looked up as the two of them rejoined the group, clearly oblivious about the nature of the conversation between Redclaw and Frostmask.
"The nest is looking pretty good," Pineshade declared, rising to her feet and stretching her legs out. "I think I might take Cricketpaw out now, if you don't need anymore help. It's already way past sunrise, and I'm sure that 'paw is still in her nest, sleeping!"
Frostmask purred, in a sudden good mood.
"At this rate, she'll think you've gone soft on her," Frostmask teased. "I don't think Swoopstrike ever let me sleep one wink in past sun-up."
Pineshade raked a sharp look over Frostmask.
"Sounds like the raven's calling the crow black, because I don't see Lizardpaw hiding under your tail either!" she shot back.
Frostmask's tail twitched, her brow furrowing. She couldn't think of a good quip in response because she realized Pineshade was right. Pineshade shot her a smug look, clearly knowing that was the case, while Murmurstep poorly disguised her mrrow of amusement at the situation with a cough.
"I think Larkfoot, Amberberry and I can handle the rest, thank you," Redclaw said with a purr, steering the conversation back to topic.
"Yes, this is part of my job now, after all," Larkfoot said as she helped Amberberry patch up the den's walls.
Amberberry's gaze flickered over Frostmask, Murmurstep, and Pineshade.
"If you three still want to help, though, I've been craving squirrel," she purred. "Although I haven't seen one in the fresh-kill pile for sunrises!"
Larkfoot clicked her tongue.
"Well that's because they're surely all curled up in their nests from this cold weather!" she said.
"But, they have to come out to dig up their nut stores at some point, or else they'd waste away," Amberberry argued back. "The rest of the latest snowfall just melted off yesterday, maybe they're out forging now!"
Larkfoot just hummed doubtfully.
Pineshade turned away from the bickering queens to cast an amused glance at Murmurstep and Frostmask.
"Well, are you guys up for this very important squirrel hunting mission?" she asked.
Murmurstep shot an affectionate glance at her mother.
"I'm in," she purred. "I'd be happy to get you a squirrel, Amberberry."
"I'll go too. I wanted to take Lizardpaw hunting anyway," Frostmask said.
"Alright. Let's go grab our lazy apprentices!" Pineshade said, leading the way from the den with an eager bounce in her step.
Frostmask and Murmurstep followed her out. By the time they'd made it into the clearing, Pineshade had already vanished into the apprentice's den, and then was just as quickly coming back out with Lizardpaw and Cricketpaw in tow. Frostmask purred at the apprentices' ruffled fur and bleary eyes. It looked like Pineshade literally dragged them from sleep and their nests without even giving them a moment to orientate themselves.
However, as Pineshade and the apprentices approached them, Frostmask's amusement evaporated as she caught sight of a dark pelt. Dampfang strode up to Pineshade, whose steps slowed as he approached.
"Taking Cricketpaw out?" he asked.
His gaze flicked from the dilute tortoiseshell apprentice and over to Lizardpaw, where it stayed, his brow furrowing.
"What are you doing with him?" Dampfang rumbled.
Pineshade nodded towards Frostmask and Murmurstep, who were still standing a few fox-lengths away from her.
"We're going hunting," she meowed, her tail-tip twitching.
Dampfang cast a glance over his shoulder towards them. He caught sight of Frostmask, and his nose crinkled up slightly.
"Ah," he drawled, turning back to Pineshade. "I was going to ask if you wanted to do some training with Cedarpaw and I, but now I see that you're… busy."
Pineshade shifted from paw to paw uncomfortably.
"We could maybe patrol together this evening," she mumbled.
Dampfang seemed to soften somewhat.
"Alright," he said, touching his muzzle to her cheek in farewell. "See you then."
Pineshade nodded, visibly relaxing as she rumbled a brief purr. As Dampfang padded off, Frostmask glanced over Murmurstep. She looked as uncomfortable with the interaction between Dampfang and Pineshade as Frostmask felt; her ears were twisted back and her expression tight as her golden tail twitched slightly.
Frostmask gave her head a small shake to push her thoughts of Dampfang away as Pineshade and the apprentices finally joined them.
"You both ready?" she asked Frostmask and Murmurstep.
Murmurstep nodded, her eyes brightening with Dampfang's disappearance, and Frostmask gestured for Pineshade to lead the way. Pineshade turned towards the camp's exit, her spiky-furred tail held high.
"Watch out squirrels!"
They had bad luck with finding any squirrels, but a good time hunting. Frostmask knew that Cricketpaw and Lizardpaw always had fun when they got together, although Frostmask had also found that Lizardpaw's distractibility tended to increase substantially when he was on a patrol with one of his younger den-mates. At those times, Lizardpaw seemed much more interested in playing with, or showing off in front of, Cricketpaw, Cedarpaw, and Hollowpaw, than he did listening to Frostmask.
Still though, Frostmask was happy to see Cricketpaw in a good mood. She and her littermates had been understandably depressed for the past moon— with the death of Dawntail during the raid, and then Buzzardpaw following her only a half of a moon afterwards.
Also, despite his inattention towards Frostmask, Lizardpaw still proved himself invaluable when it came to tracking down faint prey trails, although they didn't have any luck finding one that belonged to a squirrel.
Frostmask enjoyed patrolling with Murmurstep too. She hadn't spent much time with her old den-mate for the past few moons, since Frostmask got so busy training Lizardpaw. But, Frostmask rather liked the she-cat. Murmurstep normally wasn't very talkative, but when she did speak, her remarks tended to have a biting wit.
The three she-cats now trailed behind their apprentices, who were partly tracking prey, and partly playing tag, several fox-lengths ahead.
"How's training Lizardpaw going?" Pineshade asked, blinking at Frostmask.
Frostmask's tail twitched.
"He's making good progress," she meowed, glancing over at her apprentice as he and Cricketpaw scampered ahead of them. "He masters each battle move I teach him really quickly. He's a very good hunter too, although sometimes I have to remind him things like brushing up against plants makes noise."
Pineshade nodded.
"Cricketpaw's hunting is coming along well, but she needs to be more confident with her battle training," she said, her brow furrowing slightly. "Maybe her and Lizardpaw can do some battle training together soon. It might make her feel more self-assured if she practiced against another apprentice."
Frostmask mewed in agreement.
"You two are lucky that you got apprentices so soon," Murmurstep sighed, her thick-furred tail twitching.
Frostmask was quiet, her thoughts drifting back to the conversation she had with Grovepelt earlier.
"You'll get your own soon enough," Pineshade responded with a dismissive ear flick. "Maybe you'll even get to train one of your little siblings."
"Yeah, but that'll be over six moons from now!" Murmurstep complained, her ears angling back.
"If you want, you can join me and Cricketpaw when we do some training," Pineshade offered. "I know it's not the same as having your own apprentice, but you'd be able to get some experience mentoring. And, maybe Sedgestar would appreciate the initiative and be more inclined to assign you one from the next group of kits."
Murmurstep ducked her head shyly. She didn't reply for a moment, instead turning her head to rasp her tongue down her pale golden-furred side, flattening her slightly prickling pelt.
"Thanks," she mewed finally in a soft voice. "That's very kind of you. I'd like that."
Pineshade nodded.
"Of course," she said.
"So, is Mosspounce also eager for her own apprentice?" Frostmask asked, pulling herself out of her thoughts about Grovepelt and Sedgestar and deputyship.
Murmurstep huffed in amusement, shaking off her bout of bashfulness.
"No. She's not looking for that kind of responsibility," Murmurstep said. "Mosspounce is much more focused with flirting with every available cat in the Clan instead."
Frostmask tilted her head thoughtfully.
"I saw her talking with Thornheart earlier," she meowed.
"Well, she was padding after Hootflight yesterday," Murmurstep laughed.
"And, Autumnleap the day before," Pineshade added with a purr of amusement.
Frostmask's ears perked up.
"Autumnleap?" she echoed, her paws prickling.
"Don't worry," Murmurstep said, giving a reassuring blink. "He didn't humor her for long."
Frostmask ducked her head, her ears burning with sudden heat.
"I- I didn't mean," she stammered. "Autumnleap can do whatever—"
"Ugh, are you still doing this?" Pineshade interrupted loudly, rolling her eyes.
Murmurstep swallowed back purrs as Frostmask's pelt prickled indignantly.
"Pineshade," Frostmask hissed, shooting a brief, but pointed glance at Murmurstep before looking back over at her.
Pineshade waved her off with a swish of her tail.
"Oh relax. Murmurstep knows about you and Autumnleap. I mean, practically the whole Clan knows!"
Frostmask fur warmed even more.
"They do? How?" she asked.
"Well, it's not like your affection for each other is some big secret. If it was, you two should stop acting so cute together in public," Pineshade said with another eye roll, but there was a purr beneath her words. "Our clan-mates just haven't said anything to you because ShadowClan, out of all cats, knows how to respect privacy."
"Well, it sounds like everyone's accepted it but Frostmask," Murmurstep teased gently.
Pineshade purred louder while Frostmask swiped her tongue down her chest fur vigorously.
"It's just complicated, alright?" Frostmask mumbled into her fur, hoping that would put an end to this conversation.
But, of course, she wasn't that lucky.
"How?" Murmurstep asked, tilting in her head in confusion.
Frostmask cast a glance over at the apprentices, both to check up on them and make sure that they were still not paying attention to the older cats' conversation.
"Well… I'm afraid of being with him, then losing him," she admitted in a low voice, not able to meet Pineshade's or Murmurstep's gazes.
Pineshade scoffed.
"Is that possibility worth seeing him end up with someone like Mosspounce?" she asked, arching a brow.
Frostmask's ears twitched back, and she didn't respond.
"You know you can't keep him waiting on you forever to make up your mind," Pineshade continued, her voice turning slightly sharper as she came to her brother's defense. "That's not fair to him."
"I know," Frostmask sighed, her gaze downcast. "I'm just scared. What if we're together and something bad happens to him… and he- he- he dies. It'd destroy me."
"Yeah, but there's nothing you can do to change the fact that bad things happen," Pineshade said rationally, her tail twitching. "Everyone dies. You either learn to live with that, or you ignore it by making sure you don't get close to anyone, being miserable and alone forever."
Frostmask's tail twitched, but she couldn't deny the logic in Pineshade's words.
She has a point.
Frostmask's thoughts drifted to Paledusk, SkyClan and the state of the forest. With tensions between the Clans escalating everyday, the future of both ShadowClan and the whole forest was terrifyingly uncertain.
Maybe the only way to cope is to take what happiness I can, while I still can.
"You might be right," Frostmask said.
"Besides," Murmurstep broke in with a soft mew. "Are you really saving yourself any heartbreak by not being together? It's not like that stops you from having feelings for him or anything."
Pineshade nodded in agreement.
"That's true too," she said. "Honestly, your entire plan here is starting to sound really frog-brained, Frostmask."
Murmurstep didn't say anything, but she shot Frostmask a look that seemed to say that she agreed with Pineshade. Frostmask huffed, twitching her tail again.
"Alright. Alright. I get it," she grumbled. "StarClan. When did this conversation turn into 'let's all tease Frostmask?'"
"You just make it too easy for us, Frost," Pineshade laughed.
"Does that mean you're going to talk to him?" Murmurstep pressed.
"If I say yes will you both put a mouse in it about it?" Frostmask quipped, shooting Pineshade specifically a glare.
"I can't make any promises," Pineshade warned, her tail flicking mischievously.
Murmurstep began to purr in amusement, and Frostmask shot her a sharp look as well.
"Don't encourage her!" Frostmask jokingly protested.
Before Murmurstep or Pineshade could say anything else, Lizardpaw and Cricketpaw came bounding back over to the group of warriors, both of their pairs of eyes wide and their pelts prickling nervously.
"Lizardpaw said he smells rat!" Cricketpaw's voice was high-pitched and squeaky with fear as she dug unsheathed claws into the ground.
"Rat?" Pineshade echoed, her pelt rising.
The fur on Frostmask's shoulders bristled too. She knew Pineshade and Lizardpaw must remember the horrifying sight of the cannibalistic rats as well as she did, and although Cricketpaw hadn't seen them for herself, she had seen the damage they'd done to her brother. Frostmask shuddered, trying to shake off the memory.
"We're not that close to the Carrionplace, are we?" Murmurstep asked, blinking in confusion.
"Not really," Frostmask confirmed.
"We need to investigate this," Pineshade said grimly, turning to Lizardpaw.
'Show us where,' she ordered.
Lizardpaw nodded, setting his jaw determinedly. The patrol broke into a brisk trot as he led them off to the left, and it wasn't long until Frostmask's nose twitched as she picked up the sour scent of the creature too. It appeared to just be a single individual, but the fact that it had wandered so far outside the bounds of the Carrionplace was certainly strange and troubling. The scent was fresh, and it grew stronger as the patrol gained on it. As they drew closer, Pineshade signaled for Lizardpaw to fall back as she took the lead. The group prowled around the trunks of the pines, and Frostmask's gaze flashed as she caught a flicker of movement near the roots of a large tree.
"There," she breathed, signaling towards it with a flick of her tail.
But, this rat hardly seemed to be a threat. It was bone-thin and lying on the ground on its side, its flanks heaving. One of its dark beady eyes flashed towards the cats, glimmering as it saw them and realized their danger. But, the creature seemed like it didn't have the strength to stand. It just lifted its head, baring its large, yellowed teeth and letting out a squeak in a half-hearted warning to the cats.
Frostmask's nose twitched as she picked up another scent from the animal. Lizardpaw glanced over at her, noticing her sniffing.
'Rat blood,' he signed, confirming her suspicions.
Frostmask nodded. She couldn't see any wounds on the rat from this distance, but the salty tang in the air was unmistakable.
I wonder if the rat is even injured, or is the blood from it eating one of its brethren?
Frostmask shivered.
"What's wrong with it?" Cricketpaw muttered.
"It could be injured," Frostmask said. "Or, just sick or starving."
"Or, all three," Pineshade suggested. "Maybe it wandered out here to look for food."
"Or, escape from becoming food," Frostmask muttered, and Pineshade gave a grim nod of agreement.
"Should we kill it?" Murmurstep asked, staring unblinkingly at the rat. "Fresh-kill is fresh-kill."
Frostmask's tail twitched as she and Pineshade shared an uneasy glance. Murmurstep was right that any prey was valuable in the dead of leaf-bare, but the idea of eating the cannibalistic rats that lived among two-leg trash was rather… unappealing.
"Maybe we should just leave it to be crow-food," Pineshade said. "What if it is sick? We shouldn't eat it then."
Frostmask felt a flicker of relief. Pineshade's point was reasonable, and it meant that they could leave the rat be.
I don't want to be anywhere near one of those things.
"Good point," Frostmask said, nodding.
Murmurstep also meowed an agreement, and Pineshade signaled for the patrol to depart. As they turned away from the rat and padded off into the forest, Frostmask cast a final glance at it from over her shoulder. The rat watched the cats walk away for a few moments before it finally lowered its head back down to the ground. Letting out a quiet, almost pained, squeak, it closed its eyes.
Author's Note: Hi everyone! I've got a bit of a story update for you all. Firstly, sorry that this chapter took so long to get out :/ With the holidays upon us, I've been busy, and it's been hard for me to find the time or motivation to write. Unfortunately, I don't think that I'll be able to get another chapter out this month, so I want to wish you all happy holidays!
My other piece of news is that during this past month, I've also been able to fully hammer out the outline for the remainder of this fic. So, I normally like to write with having big plot points in mind, like X happens, then Y, then Z, while still leaving room for new ideas to appear and grow naturally during the writing process. However, when it comes to endings, I think it helps me to be more careful with my planning, so there aren't any loose threads left hanging by the conclusion. That all said, that means that I have a detailed outline for every remaining chapter in this fic. There are 20 chapters left (which strangely, both feels like a lot, since this fic has already gone on longer than my initial idea for it, but it also feels like not that many when I see it all laid out in front of me lol.) My goal is to have this fic finished by the end of next year, which might be ambitious, but I hope I can stick to it! See you all in 2021!
Reviews:
To the guest reviewer asking about if they can make art of the characters: Yes, absolutely you can! Anyone who wants to, is more than welcome to create art for this fic. My only request is that if you do make something, please let me know because I'd love to see see it! Unfortunately, this site doesn't allow any links to be sent, but I am on other websites under this same username, SedatedDreams, (such as youtube, deviantart, and archive of our own,) and you could contact me there. Or, if you prefer, you can just leave a review on the story letting know where I can find the art!
Shewolf1238526: Ooo yes, Frostmask isn't dumb, but she also doesn't know how sneaky Paledusk is haha. Of course though I can't comment about what will or won't happen!
Brian.H.H: Ah thank you! Writing Paledusk is so fun for me haha, although it's also definitely a challenge because it's always a very delicate balance of making sure he's subtle enough that the other characters don't see right through him, while he's still leaving a little trail of breadcrumbs to follow (since he's smart, but obviously he's not infallible.) So anyway, since Paledusk's is always trying to be five steps ahead of everyone else, I have to be five steps ahead to him. And, then my brain hurts because it feels like I'm playing a game of 4-dimensional chess with these characters haha.
Autumnleap: Paledusk definitely has a lot of facets to his personality to say the least lol. And, Autumnleap and Pineshade don't always get along, but they still definitely care about each other. I think they have a "no one can mess with my brother/sister, but me" sort of relationship haha.
Stacy Rockfall: Thank you, and I hope you have very happy holidays! And, Paledusk says: "Hidden plans? What hidden plans? I've certainly never had any hidden plans. In fact, I've never told a single lie in my life!"
Simitria: I'm sorry, but my client Mr. Paledusk won't be answering any questions without his lawyer present.
Avalanche: Paledusk: *sweats nervously* "What do you mean? I'm just an average guy who loves my kid." *eyes dart around.*