Disclaimer - I do not own Leverage, any of its characters or plot line. I only own my original characters and anything that isn't familiar with the show's storyline.
I started writing this after watching the series. I absolutely adore Christian Kane and truly believe that Eliot deserves to find love just as his teammates have.
The title is based on Daughtry's "I'll Fight" which I consider Eliot Spencer's theme song.
Reviews and comments are appreciated.
So without further adieu, here we go. Enjoy!
Right after returning from Memphis the team headed out on a 10 day job down in Juarez and had barely been back a day when Nate presented them with a new case. Now the team sat in Nate's apartment over the bar as Hardison filled them in.
Both Alexa and Eliot were sporting some bruises from the job, as the hitter expressed his annoyance at not having time to recoup. "Look, all I'm saying is…" He pauses putting an ice bag on his shoulder. "…is I don't understand why we can't have a couple of days off in between jobs? We just spent 10 days in Juarez."
"What's the matter, you don't like the piñatas I bought?" Parker says digging into said piñata for candy.
"All right, listen. No... no time off, all right? We got a lot of work to do. Hardison, run it." Nate states.
"All right. The first rule of crime is follow the money. Now, Ms. Salazar's money ran through three different shell companies before it ended up with this guy. Hugh Whitman. He runs a big debt collection agency right outside of Boston called financial support associates."
"Well, it makes sense. I mean, he's got bill collectors already on his payroll. He just sends them after people that owe back taxes. He keeps the money."
Sophie glances around Parker who is still digging in her piñata, at Eliot. "But the names of those people, they're not public. So how does he know who to target?"
"Well, Whitman worked for the IRS for 20 years. He probably had a friend leak him a list." Nate surmises.
Parker yanks her hand out with candy clutched in it. "Ooh, I got it! I got it! We steal the list."
Nate looks at her questioningly as she adds the candy to the pile in front of her. "We need a way in. What did you find out about Whitman on the Internet?"
"Nothing." Hardison says shaking his head.
"What do you mean nothing?"
"He's not on the net, man, at all. Which is strange because his company deals with such high tech. You know, they do this thing where they spoof your caller I.D. to make it seem like your grandma's calling, when it's really one of their bill collectors."
"Sweet." Eliot says with a scowl.
"Go back to the money. You said Whitman routed his money through three different shell companies, right?"
"Mm-hmm." The hacker nods.
"Where is it now?"
"Somewhere in the boondocks at a bank called Turner Creek. It's under an account named "Patriot Limited." Now, there's no ties to Whitman, and that's why the cops can't touch him."
"Good. We can work with that. Okay, I want a two-pronged attack. One team is gonna go convince Whitman his money isn't safe there at the bank."
"That's... me, Lex and Hardison got the bank." Eliot interjects quickly.
"We're doing what, now?" Hardison asks looking at the hitter in question. Eliot nods sharing a look with Alexa who had already caught onto her best friend's train of thought.
"Okay, after you guys have spooked Whitman, Sophie, you go and hook him with a new place to stash his cash. Questions?"
Parker shakes her piñata upside down to get the last of the candy. Annoyed Eliot grabs for it and rips the head off then walks away.
"Eli! Dick move!" Alexa hollers after him but she's hiding a smile.
Parker gasps as she holds the decapitated piñata in her arms. "I'll fix it. We can fix it. We'll fix it. It's okay."
Eliot pulls the rental car into the bank parking lot, the two men climbing out and going to the rear where they pull IRS jackets from the trunk of a car.
"Dude, I don't know what you're complaining about, all right? I got us the bank. We're in, we're out, and we get to go throw a worm in the water." Eliot says high-fiving Alexa who has hopped up and is now sitting on the trunk of the car.
Hardison grumbles putting on the jacket. "All so you two can go fishing in the woods. Man I fish at the grocery store. I don't see why I had to come."
"Because it'll be good for you. When's the last time you've been outdoors?" Eliot asks as he puts on his jacket while Hardison swats at the air. "Hey, man!"
"Man! Hey, man, did you see that mosquito? That thing had a beak, man. What's that smell?" The hacker questions turning a grotesque look to the sky.
"It's fresh air."
"I don't like it."
The two head off towards the bank while Alexa stays with the car shaking her head in amusement.
Eliot and Hardison walk into the bank, the hitter pulling off his ball cap and stuffing it in his pocket. "Who's in charge here?"
"Uh, how can... how can I help you?" An older man with patchy white hair stutters as he approaches the two men.
"I'll tell you how you can help us. This is Agent Brody, I'm Agent Quint, with the criminal investigation unit of the IRS."
"Well, uh, w-what can I do for you?"
"We need the records of all the accounts in the name of Patriot Limited." Hardison states.
"O-o-of course. Uh, r-right this way. I'll... I'll get them for you. Have a seat here."
"Mm-hmm." Eliot says as he takes a seat.
"We don't get many folks way out here. Uh, why don't you just have a seat and I'll bring that account right up?"
One of the clerks nearby looks at Eliot and Hardison, then discretely makes a phone call.
"Mr. Whitman, my name is Colette Madison. We have some mutual friends over at the IRS." Sophie says as she meets Mr. Whitman in the hallway.
"Go ahead and leave your resume with human resources."
"It's about your account at Turner Creek Bank."
"I don't have an account at Turner Creek Bank."
"No, but Patriot Limited does. And that's you." She states walking to his office door. "May I?" He opens the door and ushers her inside.
Sophie studies the room, picking up a grenade off of the desk and looking at it curiously.
"Who are you?"
"Think of me as a matchmaker. I bring together parties who can benefit each other. For a fee, of course."
"I don't need your help."
"Unfortunately, you do. I'm here to tell you that your money isn't safe at Turner Creek Bank anymore."
There's a knock on the door. "Not now." Whitman bellows.
"It's urgent." His assistant pleads to him.
"Okay, good timing, Sophie. Now, Eliot and Hardison should be finishing up at the bank right about now." Nate radios to her.
"Come on." Whitman states leading his assistant out into the hall. "What?"
"Just got a call from one of our men at the bank. There are two agents from the IRS asking about your accounts."
"You call Chester. Tell him to get rid of them." He orders. Whitman then reenters the room, he glances around for Sophie who has poured herself a drink and is sitting on a couch.
"They're there already, aren't they?" She questions.
"How did you know?"
"I told you. I have friends at the IRS. They're on to you, Mr. Whitman."
"Well, if you know my former department at the IRS, then you probably know Charlie Dean. How is the old boy?"
"Now, that must be Whitman's source inside the IRS." Nate says.
"Yeah, we need Hardison." Parker tells him.
"No. No, we don't. Sophie, I want you to tell him that the last time you saw Charles was at his funeral."
Sophie sets down her drink. "Haven't you heard? I'm so sorry. It was a beautiful service."
"All right. You have my attention, Ms. Madison. If my bank isn't safe, what is?"
"I want to introduce you to someone who runs an alternative financial institution."
"How'd you know that? Do you know when I'm gonna die? Do ya?" Parker asks looking at Nate intently.
"Parker."
"What?"
"You think that was enough to spook Whitman?" Eliot questions as he and Hardison walk back to the car.
"Don't know. Comms and mobiles don't work up here, so we have to call Nate from a land line." Hardison replies taking off his jacket.
"Yeah, well, you can use the phone at the bait shop while I tackle us up." Eliot says taking off his jacket. "We'll grab something to eat. Come on!"
"Look at me. I look like somebody eats at a bait shop?"
"No." Eliot states as he reaches for the trunk.
"So what names you pick this time Eli?" Alexa questions as she stands at the back of the car.
"Agents Brody and Quint." He answers proudly.
"Jaws reference, I love it. Good choice." She says grinning.
Suddenly a man comes up behind Alexa. "You fellas are gonna want to come with me. You too ma'am."
"Excuse you?" Hardison questions.
"Make any sudden moves and my boys will blow your heads right off." He states as a group of men surround the trio, weapons drawn, laser sites on Hardison's chest.
The three are bound and shoved into the back of a van. Eliot is sitting to Alexa's left with his eyes closed quietly speaking, she realizes he's calling out directions. Eliot and Hardison are handcuffed together, while Alexa's hands are cuffed in front of her.
"12."
"Hey, man, this van is old. I-I bet if we rush that door, we could pop the lock. You ready?" Hardison suggests.
"Shut up."
"At least I'm trying to get us out of here. What are you doing?"
"I'm drawing a map, Hardison. 17... 18..."
Sophie and Whitman walk into the Images Gym, there is only one member using the stationary bicycles up front along with the trainer at the front of the room.
"Mr. Whitman, welcome to your new bank."
"You're kidding me, right?"
"Come with me."
[Flashback]
Parker is leading a team of women on the stationary bicycles. "Come on, ladies! Let's kick it up a notch! (quickens music) That's right! Oh, let's make this a party! (quickens music) Come on, girls. You've got cats at home that can pedal faster than that!"
One by one the women give up and leave shaking their heads.
Nate sitting a table in the lobby makes a call on his cell. "Yeah, I-is this the manager? All right, listen. This is Oscar, uh, from corporate. We've spoken before. Hey, you know that new, uh, ladies' gym that's, uh, down there on 14th Street? Yeah, well, they're poaching your member's o-over there at your place. Yeah, they're offering a free membership to anyone who breaks their contract with you. So what I need you to do right now is go down there and get the skinny on what's going on. Go! Go now!"
He watches as the Manager's door opens and he looks out at the nearly empty room. "What... what's going on? Where'd everybody go?"
The manager walks away as Nate quickly slips into his office.
Nate is playing basketball sitting in the manager's chair when Sophie walks in with their mark. "Hugh Whitman, Vic Pellington. He's the owner." Sophie says introducing the two men.
"Hey, come on in. Have a seat. So, what do you think of our little operation we got here?"
"Well, it's a low-rent gym for housewives. Doesn't look like a bank to me."
"No, that's true. Yeah. One of them is... is nothing. But you get five of these places, and I'm telling you... it's a money-laundering machine."
"Vic owns 25 images franchises. He sells interests to discerning businessmen like yourself looking to hide the source of their income."
"Except that only works when you have customers to explain the cash flow. This place is empty."
"And that right there, that's the beauty of the health-club industry, because 80% of the people, they, uh, they pay the membership but they never come. Have a seat. We have all these names, name after name of these members that never come in in our databank."
"Give Vic your money to wash and he just adds names to the membership roster. Your dirty money becomes clean profit."
"So she gets a finder's fee?"
"She does."
"What about you?"
"My rake is 15%."
"Ugh."
"Oh, yeah, but with that, what you get is you get detailed papers that show that you're an investor in Images for over a year. You get board-meeting minutes. It's all on the up."
"Okay, what's the catch?"
"Well, the only catch is that I need an answer now, today, because... I got one slot left, okay, and you're not the only bidder."
"All right, well, I'm gonna want to look at what you think are detailed records." Whitman says as he takes off his coat.
"Yeah, yeah. Sure. I got, uh..."
"I'm very intimate with the tax code, Vic. I used to be district manager with the internal revenue service."
"That's cool."
Alexa is yanked out of the van as soon as it comes to a stop, Eliot and Hardison brought out behind her. Her eyes dart quickly around them taking stock of their surroundings; the first thing she notices is they are deep in the woods, not a sound indicating civilization is remotely close. Secondly she takes in the camo fatigues the men are wearing, the weapons in their hands and deduces they are inside of a militia camp.
The leader Chester, stands before them holding up the IRS jackets. "Internal Revenue Service. Taking money from hard-working Americans and shipping it straight to China."
Eliot meanwhile is studying their captors, having also figured out these men were a militia. He sees two men placing a delivery service sticker on a black van, cases of molasses nearby, and weapons apparent throughout. "You smell that?" Eliot whispers to his friends.
"Smell of death? Yes, I do." Hardison snarks.
"Not the smell he was talking about Alec." Alexa mutters knowing what Eliot was referring to and realizing they were in serious trouble.
As Chester sets aside the IRS jackets Hardison tries to talk the man down and save their hides. "Look, man, that's not even real. Right? See, I make those up from a little..." Chester punches Hardison in the stomach making the hacker double over with coughs.
"Turner Creek minutemen. Anti-government militia, huh?" Eliot questions having figured out who their captors were.
"Anti-government freedom fighters. They say the war is coming, tax man, but it's already begun. What do you call a man who takes your property, enriches your adversaries, and deprives you of your liberty?"
"Your enemy."
Chester smirks looking at the armed man behind the trio. "Consider yourselves casualties of war."
The second in command Tom, forces both Hardison and Alexa to their knees, although it did take him some extra effort to make the woman kneel. He tries to make Eliot follow suit, but can't.
"It ain't gonna happen, Bubba." Eliot states defiantly.
"I got one standing and two kneeling." Tom tells his superior.
"Make it work."
Tom cocks his weapon and Hardison's eyes go wide with panic. "Whoa! Hey! Hey! Hold up! Hold up, man! C-c-can I at least get a-a cigarette?"
"What?" Chester balks.
"C-can I get a cigarette? As an enemy combatant, I'm entitled to one last cigarette according to Geneva Convention article 89, paragraph 3, subsection k." Chester looks confused. "You-you-you know it!"
"Are we combatants or not?" Eliot questions them.
"Fine. Brandon... Give the man a cigarette." Chester orders. A young man comes over and tries to give Hardison a cigarette.
"Those menthol lights?"
"No." The young man says.
Eliot looks around the camp at the militia members moving weapons and consulting a map. Hardison rolls his eyes as he waits for a light. "Come on, now." Brandon struggles to get a match lit. "Go on. Take your time." Brandon drops several matches to the ground and drops to his knees to retrieve them. "I-it's over there, man."
"Oh, for God's sake, Brandon!" Chester bellows as Brandon continues to fumble on the ground.
Hardison drops the cigarette intentionally then. "For God's sake Brandon!"
Eliot turns and knocks the gun from Tom's hand, throwing him to the ground as Alexa sweeps his legs out from under him. Eliot pulls both of them to their feet shoving them towards the woods. "Come on! Come on!"
"Fire!" Militia members begin firing at the trio as they flee into the woods.
"You see that? That's called a plan!" Hardison hollers as they weave in and out of the trees.
"What plan, man? Smoke cigarettes and die? This way!" Eliot snaps.
"Come on! Get those dogs! Get those dogs over here! Now!" Chester orders as Militia members bring dogs over to follow after their escapees.
Parker meanwhile is sitting in a cubicle in the Collections Department on the phone twirling a pencil. "Yes, hello, Mr. Wallach? This is Alexandra from F.S.A. I'm calling about the outstanding balance you have with..." She looks at the screen. "Amherst On- Amherst Oncology center?" It dawns on her that the man was battling cancer. With a sigh she hangs up the phone. "Oh, it looks like we got disconnected." She then goes through her list deleting her list of calls to make.
"Parker, why aren't you in Whitman's office yet?" Nate radios to her.
"Uh, 'cause it's my first day at work." She answers as she finishes deleting the call list, then grabs her jacket and gets up from her chair. "On my way now."
"Hardison, stop, stop, stop, stop."
"What you mean, stop? Why we stop running? Running was good!"
"Listen to me, all right? The van was averaging 45 miles an hour, right?"
Alexa nods her head as he looks to her for confirmation. "Yeah about that."
"We were in there for 22 minutes." He pauses and looks around. "We took two turns off the highway. That's 17 miles north of town. We need to go south." He points out a direction. "That's south."
"Says you and what compass?"
"This compass, man!" Eliot barks pointing at his head. "Some of us were born with good direction, Hardison!"
"Yeah, well, how about some sense, man? That's uphill. Running downhill is faster. That's proven science."
"Damn it Alec just trust him, he knows what he's talking about!" Alexa snaps hearing dogs barking in the distance.
Realizing that Hardison is not gonna budge, Eliot does the only thing he can. "All right. Go." They hold up their hands and do Rock, Paper, Scissors.
"One, two, three. Yeah." Hardison shouts but Eliot wins. "Damn it! Again?"
"You got a tell, man. You got a tell. Come on!" Eliot urges them up the hill to the south. Alexa can hear the dogs gaining on them as they near the top of it. "We gotta move faster guys!"
Parker meanwhile is going around Whitman's office, searching for a safe or hidden cache. "If I were a super-secret government document, where would I hide?" She finds a book out of place on a shelf and pulls it. A secret door opens revealing a hidden room. "Bingo."
Parker looks around at military insignia, maps and antique weapons on the walls. She plugs into the computer and gets the information she was looking for, printing a copy. She sees a crate and goes to open it, revealing weapons. "Guys, I found the list, but that's not all I found. I found guns."
At the gym Nate and Sophie exchange concerned looks before the mastermind pretends his phone is ringing. "Ahh, geez. Sorry, I... go ahead. I-I got to take this call. What?!" He snaps stepping out of the office.
"Looks like he's stealing from the taxpayers to buy weapons."
Inside the hidden room Parker pulls a flag from the crate. "And flags."
"Flags, huh? What kind of flags?"
"White with a green tree inside a blue shield with a star and a ribbon around it. It says "ense petit placidam, sub libertate quietem."
"By the sword we seek peace, but only under liberty." Well, that's from the Massachusetts state flag. The tree, that's from the original colonial flag."
Parker puts the flag back. "So he's a historian."
"With an arsenal. No wonder we can't find anything about this guy online. He's got a little secret." Nate explains whilst Parker snaps photos of everything. "I'm gonna try something."
Nate goes back into the office to put his theory to the test. "I'm so sorry. The local council wants to up handicap ramps all over the parking lot. You know, next thing you know, we're gonna have to put Braille in the, uh, you know, on the free weights. It's getting to be ridiculous, these people." He looks out the window. "Hey, ah, is that your yellow Hummer over there?"
"That it is."
"Boy, that's a sweet ride, huh?"
"Well-made machine."
"Yeah, a beauty. She's nice. I appreciate a man who buys American, I'll tell you that. Used to work for the government myself. I'm going back a few years, but, uh, you know, back then, we all believed in the same principles."
"It's true. Yeah, the system, it's... it's... it's broken down." Sophie adds catching onto Nate's train of thought.
"It certainly is." Nate says.
"Whatever happened to "by the people, for the people," huh?"
Whitman nods in complete agreement with them before he takes off on a tangent; and the ease with which he recites it tells them it's not the first time he's used these words. "I spent 20 years with the IRS. You think after all that time and all that money I collected, any of it went to protect the interest of real Americans? No. We just hand it off to other agencies. They dole it out to welfare cheats and border jumpers and whatever black-hole programs keep the incumbents in office. Yeah, taxpayers these days, they're a bunch of sheep. Just blind followers who don't even realize their liberty is under constant assault by the government that they've elected. It's pathetic."
"Preaching to the choir." Nate agrees knowing his hunch about Whitman was correct.
"You know, that money that, uh, the IRS is looking for in that bank? I told you. It's not mine. It belongs to the revolution. And it's coming."
"That's why you got to act fast, Hugh. You've got those, uh, those IRS agents snooping around." Sophie tells him.
"I wouldn't worry about them. I had them taken care of." Whitman states causing Nate and Sophie to quickly hide the concern on their faces. "I've really got to get back to my office. Why don't you, uh, meet me there with your records, and I will try to give you an answer today. Pleasure to meet you." He says before leaving the room.
"Parker, have you, uh, talked to Alexa, Eliot or Hardison today?" Nate questions the thief.
"No. Uh, they could be out of range, o-or..."
"Or in a lot of trouble." He surmises.
"I don't like it, Nate. Lexi, Eliot and Hardison should have checked in by now. I think we should call the police." Sophie says wringing her hands nervously.
"And tell them what? Two of our friends are impersonating IRS agents at a bank and another is their getaway driver?"
"Whitman said, "I took care of them."
"Parker and I will find the boys and Alexa. You go close Whitman."
Eliot suddenly halts the three of them. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We've got to get them off our scent." He bends down and rips a plant from the ground and quickly rubbing it on Alexa's clothes.
"What's that?" Hardison questions scrunching up his nose.
"Just rub it on you! It's skunkweed." Eliot says rubbing it on Hardison and then bending down for more of the plant to rub on himself.
"Uh-uh," Hardison says dropping the plant to the ground.
Eliot rubs more of the plant on Hardison despite his protests. "It'll get the dogs off our scent, Hardison! Rub it on your damn body! It'll throw the dogs off."
"Mnh-mnh. I can taste the smell in my mouth. It's strong."
"Damn it Hardison! Just do it!" Alexa yells.
"Put it on you, man! Hey." Eliot says bending over and grabbing a rock. "All right. High five. A high five for morale!"
Hardison hits Eliot's hand, Eliot holds it and cuts his palm with the rock. "What? Ugh! What the hell, man?"
"I know what I'm doing!" He growls rubbing the bloody cut on a tree trunk.
"Gangrene, man! Gangrene! You know what? I'm gonna stab you man! We wouldn't even be in this mess if you ain't wanted to go fishing!"
Eliot begins laying a false trail through the woods as Hardison continues bitching and moaning. "I could have taken you down to mama's fish shack and got you a catfish, two pieces, and a biscuit for $5.99. But instead you got us out here with trigger-happy Joes trying to fish us! And he's all too happy to shoot himself a Negro!"
"Oh, so it's a black thing now? Is that it? They're hunting me and Lex too, all right?" Eliot snarks as he continues laying a false trail.
"Damn Skippy, it's a black thing! Who they try to shoot first, Eliot? Who got punched first, Eliot? Me! I'm about tired of this redneck..."
"Damn it, Hardison!"
"Damn it, Eliot!"
"Damn it, both of you idiots!" Alexa yells.
"Look, man, I know what I'm doing. I've done this before." The hitter states hearing the dogs once more closing on them in the distance.
"This, right here? I-in the woods, handcuffed to a man?"
"Yes, I have, okay? It was easier last time, though." Eliot says sharing a look with Alexa.
"Why?" The hacker questions.
"Cause he was already dead." The two friends answer in tandem.
Nate and Parker walk down a hallway, the thief showing him what she had found in Whitman's office. "I've got a map... well, part of a map. I don't know what it means. What if Lexi, Eliot and Hardison have already..."
Nate raises his hand and opens a door. "Let's go in here. Okay, so Hardison, Alexa and Eliot, they need us to stay calm, so, uh, show me what you got, and, uh, we'll figure out how to save them." He suddenly hears static coming through his comms. "Guys! Alexa, Eliot, Hardison! Can you hear me?"
"Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop." Eliot says pausing the three of them. "Nate? Nate? You're breaking up, man! We're in the woods. Listen, we're approximately 17 miles from the bank."
"Okay. W..."
"Damn it. Can you hear him?"
"No, man. It's cloud cover. Day like this, we got to bounce our signal off a radio tower." Hardison says looking up to the tree cover.
"How do we do that?" Eliot questions.
"Get a clear view of the sky."
The trio make their way to a large tree that breaks through the foliage. Alexa knows she can't climb even with her hands cuffed in front of her, the cuffs give her no range of motion. "Eliot. Pop it out." She says holding up her left thumb towards him. He shakes his head and she sighs. "I can't climb a tree let alone fight anyone like this. Please Eli. I can't do it myself."
Eliot sighs letting out a low growl as he takes her hand into his; getting a good grip on her thumb his eyes lock with hers. "Ready?"
"Yep."
Without a countdown or any notice Eliot popped her thumb out of the socket. Alexa grimaced but didn't make a sound, save for letting out a deep breath; Hardison took care of the noise for her as he protested what he was witnessing.
"What the hell is wrong with you two? Mmm mm. No, y'all crazy."
Without her thumb joint protesting Alexa easily slipped the cuff off of her left hand then popped her thumb back into place.
"Awe that's nasty." Hardison complained as he heard the pop when she reset the appendage.
Parker uses her phone to display a photo of a map on the wall. "Okay. Here it is."
"All right, that's Whitman's militia camp. Uh, it doesn't show where. Now, Eliot said they were 17 miles from the bank. Let's get..."
Parker pulls up the computer and is shocked by the wallpaper as a cat meows at her. She opens a map and they compare it to the photo on the wall.
"Okay. It's got to be in here somewhere. From the bank... to here. Right there." Nate says as the map zooms in on geographical details. "It's, uh, same creek, isn't it?"
"Yeah, no paved roads. No people for miles. In the middle of nowhere."
"Mm-hmm."
"Nate, hey? Can you hear me?" They hear Hardison's voice through patchy static.
"Hardison? Are you okay?" Parker asks rapidly.
The trio is now sitting up on a couple thick branches of the tree, giving them better reception on the comms. "Can't talk very loud. These militia guys are following us, and they're armed and I'm pretty sure we pissed them off." Eliot tells the other team members.
"Listen... now, there are railroad tracks… a mile and a half west of the camp. Can you get there?" Nate requests.
"Sure. But what if there's no train?" Hardison questions.
"Well, there will be. We're gonna steal you one." Nate says looking at Parker, and they both smile.
Meanwhile Sophie is in Whitman's office keeping him busy. "Your records are very thorough. Very impressive. I do have some questions about the profit sharing, however."
"Huh?" She says realizing she was zoning out thinking about the team's safety. "Oh, oh, the, uh, the, uh... The nuts and bolts are really Vic's forte."
"Where is he? I thought he was coming with you."
"Oh, he's here. He's, uh, he's on a conference call. Money laundering... it isn't all champagne and helicopters, is it?"
Parker heads back to her cubicle, nearly running a man over. "Hate being away from the job. I love collecting money." She comments as she sits down, takes off her jacket, and puts on the headset. "Okay, Nate. I'm in. Let's go steal a...Whoo! Whoo!"
"Okay, Parker, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna call your station. You're gonna patch me through to the department of transportation."
Parker uses the computer to follow his instructions.
"Now, use the company's caller-I.D. spoofing software to make my call look like it's coming from Fitchburg."
"Okay. You're on."
At the Massdot Routing Center an agent receives Nate's phone call. "Massdot, this is Bev."
"Yeah, listen, I'm sorry to bother you. I'm walking my dogs out here in Fitchburg. It looks like you got a problem on your track, a bunch of rocks blocking the way."
"Are you sure? I haven't heard anything about a rockslide."
"Oh, yeah, am I sure? Yeah, listen, I'm... I'm sending you a picture on my celly right now."
Parker uses her computer to send a picture of a rock slide to Bev.
"Okay. Yes, sir."
"Yes, Bev. Yes."
"Uh, we'll do our best."
"It's a big problem. We'll try to..."
Nate is interrupted as Bev receives another call. "Okay. Please hold, sir." She puts him on hold and answers the other call. "Massdot, this is Bev."
"Is this the train department? You got to send someone out to Fitchburg." Sophie says playing another concerned citizen.
Again Bev receives another call. "Please hold, ma'am." She answers the other call which happens to be Parker speaking in a low man's voice. "Uh, yeah, we got rocks! Rocks on the tracks! Yeah. Big rocks!"
"Hey, Gary, I got to re-route the northbound Barrington. We got a rockslide." Bev states before switching the tracks and rerouting the train.
"Okay, Eliot, Hardison, Alexa, a train's on the way. It's coming from Pennsylvania. It's a produce train carrying beets."
Sophie walks back into Whitman's office to see him pouring a drink. "I'll take that as a good sign."
"Well, like I said, I still have a few questions. But we do see the world the same way. And that counts for something."
Alexa drops nimbly down from the tree, quickly dodging her companions as they landed roughly beside her. "God! Come on, man!" Eliot snaps as he gets to his feet, his normally incredible agility hindered by the tall lanky hacker attached to his wrist. "I hate beets."
"Do ya hate dyin'?" Alexa snarks as she takes off running towards the tracks.
Eliot grimaces at her words, he hated it when she stated the obvious and ignored his complaining. Turning to follow her he has to tug on the cuffs to get Hardison's attention to follow. "Let's go! Come on!"
"So? Do we have a deal?" Sophie asks.
"You will have a check by the end of business day."
She raises her glass with a smile. "To the revolution."
"All right, Sophie. Good work. The train is on its way to pick up the boys and Alexa. We're home free."
The trio is walking towards the train tracks, they can see it coming down the route towards them. "He did it, man! He actually did it! He stole it! How's your train-jumping skills, man?" Eliot questions Hardison knowing that he didn't have to worry about Alexa.
"I ain't no hobo, but I can hold my own."
"All right." The hitter says as the three stop by the tracks and ready to jump.
"Don't move! Put your hands up!" The three turn to find a militia member standing behind them with his gun aimed.
"Man, what do you want us to do? You're the ones that put this on us, man." Eliot says as he shows the guy the chain connecting him and Hardison.
"We're already..."
"All right, go down. Twist it." Eliot says trying to get them around to face the guy. Alexa stands by with her hands raised, rolling her eyes as she listens to her friends bitch at one another.
"Why you always..."
"Not like that, man!"
"Re-phrase that, man!"
"Go under."
"Why you always telling me to go down, Eliot?"
"Just switch..."
"Why you telling..."
"I'm not saying it like that, man!"
"Fine!"
"Just hold on a minute, man!"
"Shut up!" The guys tells them.
"Can we get a minute?" Hardison snaps back.
"The man has a gun in your face, man. Go under."
"Go! Go!"
"Twist it this way."
"Geez! Look, man..."
"Man, it ain't that hard. It's not that hard."
"He's so difficult."
"Shut up!" The guy snaps distractedly allowing Eliot to grab the gun and knock the man down; he then empties the chamber and ejects the clip before tossing the gun into the bushes. "Let me tell you something, tell your little Boy Scout troop their time's up."
"We get new recruits every day. You can't stop what we have planned. No one can."
Eliot, Alexa and Hardison look at each other then both of the men kick the man in the face and knock him out. "Nice job boys." Alexa commends them with a nod.
"Come on, man. Let's go." Eliot states as they turn and head for the train. "All right—"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait." Hardison says halting them.
"What? Hardison, we got to get on this train."
Alexa puts a hand on Eliot's arm making him stop. "Hold up Eli. What's eating at you Alec?"
"W-what'd you smell in that camp?" The hacker asks.
"What? I don't..."
"What were you smelling at the camp?"
"Look, man, we got to get on this train right now!"
"Eliot, what were you smelling?"
The hitter hesitates knowing that once he says it, the train will be the last place they're going. "Fertilizer. And molasses." Alexa's eyes go wide realizing what the militia has planned, while Hardison makes a questioning movement. "You can reduce the molasses down and use it as an oil for a fertilizer bomb, all right? I've seen it in Lebanon. It's better than kerosene." Eliot finishes.
"Okay, s-so a fertilizer bomb and a van. That's what the little hillbilly was crying about."
"Look, man, we get on this train, all right? We get back there, and we call the FBI. They clear everybody out."
"You know by then it might be too late Eli." Alexa tells him as he tries to push them both towards the train again.
"Eliot, Eliot. Was the bomb mixed already? Is-is it stable?" Hardison asks quickly.
"No. They got to use it within the next 48 hours."
"Okay, Eliot, we call the FBI. Maybe they make it, maybe they don't. What happens then? We're watching a building blow up on the news, children, firemen scattered everywhere? Look, man, I say we go back down there, and we stop them."
Eliot hesitates the three of them watching as the end of the train passes them and they watch it go.
"I say we whup some hillbilly ass."
The hitter exchanges looks with Hardison and Alexa before stating the obvious. "We're gonna get bloody on this one."
"Not the first time, won't be the last. Gotta do what we gotta do." Alexa states. Hardison gives him a long look in reply showing he knew what he was signing up for.
"All right. Come on, man." They return to the man they knocked out. "I'm gonna grab his walkie-talkie. You get his shoelaces, and you get his belt. I'm getting this." He tells Hardison as he pulls a hatchet out of the man's belt and holds it up smirking. "What do you say we lose about 180 pounds? Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Inside the F.S.A. Collections Department the boss's assistant walks up to the floor manager nodding over to Parker. "How's the new girl doing?" The manager hands him a head set that is patched into Parker's landline.
"Nate, we've lost contact with Eliot, Lexi and Hardison again."
"Ah, they're probably on the train."
"All right, but what about Sophie? When's she getting Whitman's check?"
The assistant turns quickly to his counterpart. "Get me Whitman."
Sophie and Whitman are sitting on a couch drinking when the phone on his desk starts ringing. "Excuse me." He walks across the room to answer it. "Yes?"
"Sir, we have a problem."
"I see." He says, the tone of his voice catches Sophie's attention. "No. No, I'll take care of things on this end." He turns around to see the door closing as Sophie exits. "I have to get to the bank and get my money. There's no telling what those idiots out there are liable to do."
Sophie rushes down the hallway towards the exit. "Nate, our cover's blown. The revolution's starting early."
The assistant tries to get to Parker, but other employees get in the way and by the time he can get through she's gone. Parker runs around corner into an elevator. Assistant follows, but doesn't make it in time. He runs for the stairs.
"They're locking the building down." Parker radios as she pulls a bobby-pin from her hair. "I'm gonna try and stall Owens. If I can make the elevator think there's a fire, the doors won't open."
"All right. Good. I'll find us a way out. Listen, if Whitman is spooked, he's gonna go for his money. So we have to, uh, we have to get to the bank before he does."
In the woods Alexa, Hardison and Eliot are preparing for their assault when Nate comes over the comms. "Eliot, Alexa, Hardison, can you hear me? W-where are you on the train?"
"Yeah, Nate, that didn't happen." Hardison states.
"W-what do you mean it didn't happen? What... you're not on the train?"
"Had a change of plans." Alexa says dragging the blade of her knife across a flat rock sharpening it to a razors edge.
"Don't worry about it." The hacker reports back knowing exactly what they are doing.
"Guys, y-you're telling me you're gonna go toe-to-toe with these people without a plan?"
"Oh, we got a plan. It's called C.W.A." Hardison states as he sharpens the branch in his hand with Eliot's tomahawk.
"Can a whoop ass." Eliot clarifies.
"Oh, geez." Nate mutters as he exits the office heading down the hallway. "Sophie, take the stairwell to the first floor. There are too many eyes in the lobby. We're gonna have to use the emergency exit."
"On my way." Sophie avoids the Assistant as he exits the stairs, then enters them herself.
Elsewhere Whitman punches the elevator buttons. "Come on!"
Parker manipulates the wiring inside the elevator panel and the elevator jerks. "Nate, it worked. The elevators are on automatic emergency protocol. They're all headed to the ground floor."
The numbers on the elevator displays begin to descend. "What the hell?" Whitman grumbles as his assistant runs around the corner. "Did you get them?"
"I'm on it, sir."
"Well, get it done. I'm holding you personally responsible." Whitman threatens as the flustered assistant runs away.
Nate watches the lobby as Parker joins him from the elevator. "How are we gonna get out without being seen? We can't hack the security system." She states as Sophie joins them from the stairs.
"I was actually thinking of something a little more direct." Nate offers as he reaches up and pulls the fire alarm. "Go!"
Whitman's assistant is on a balcony and sees the team heading for the exit. "Stop them! Stop them!" The team easily slips out the doors with the crowd. "God!"
The trio is preparing for their attack, Eliot is kneeling in between his friends playing with the radio. "You feeling confident?" He asks the tall hacker. He doesn't need to bother asking Alexa, he knows the determined look in her eyes.
Hardison looks up nervously. "Not really."
"Good, 'cause overconfidence will kill you faster than a bullet any day. Fear's good."
"Oh, I have fear. And doubt. And really serious regrets. I should be fine."
"All right. Get ready, then." Eliot states as the three of them head into the woods back towards the camp.
A Militia member hears a noise in the woods and turns. As he goes to investigate, Eliot moves slowly around the other side of a tree just out of sight; when the man rounds the tree Eliot moves out behind him knocking him out with a vicious elbow to the face.
Eliot hangs from a tree upside down and knocks another Militia member out.
Just over ten yards to Eliot's left Alexa has two militia men on her trail. Knowing she has to catch both of them off guard at the same moment to have a shot at overpowering them; she laid face down on the ground, pretending to be unconscious. The two men approached her cautiously, one of them kneeling down to roll her over onto her back. Suddenly her eyes snapped open causing both men to startle giving her the opening she needed. Hurling herself up she head-butted the kneeling man in the face, then kicked him in the chest sending him flat on his back. Swinging her legs she swept the other man's legs out dropping him to the ground where she knocked him out with a kick to the face. Seeing the other man getting to his feet, Alexa quickly flipped to her feet, running at the man she jumped up wrapping her legs around his neck and flipping him back to the ground where she choked him out.
A fifth Militia member walks through the woods and sees Hardison moving in the opposite direction. As he moves toward Hardison, the Militia member trips a wire, which releases a branch that hits him in the face.
"Science. It works." The hacker states as he hits the man on the ground with a branch, knocking him out.
"Freeze!" Is hollered from behind Hardison as Eliot and Alexa run back to join him.
"Don't make any sudden movement." Eliot warns the two as they are surrounded by Militia with guns. They are then lead back to the camp at gunpoint.
In town Whitman walks hastily into the Turner Creek Bank striding up to the manager. "I need to make a withdrawal. Right now."
"Oh, uh, Mr. Whitman. Yes, of course. Take a seat."
Eliot, Alexa and Hardison have been led back into the camp by Militia members, Chester smiles proudly at his men. "Good work, Tommy."
"Where you gonna put the van, Chester?" Hardison questions. "An office building? A preschool? A church?"
"A soldier knows there are casualties in every war."
"See, that's the difference between a real soldier and this little Halloween outfit you got going on." Eliot states. Chester punches Eliot in the face, which hurts Chester's hand but doesn't seem to affect the hitter as he casually licks the blood from his lips. "You'd kill to protect your rights. A real soldier? He'd die protecting somebody else's." Chester nods at one of the Militia men, who raises his gun. "Yeah, come on." Eliot taunts defiantly.
"You're not soldiers. You're just a bunch of cowards." Alexa states standing beside Eliot with her shoulders squared.
Hardison interjects with his hands up, "W-wait. Wait. I never did get that cigarette."
"Kill them."
"I tell you, man. I think I know where your cigarette's at." Eliot says with certainty.
"Do you?"
"I think I saw it right over there." He states pointing past Chester to a cluster of propane tanks.
"Right there?"
Everyone turns to see a cigarette stuck in a propane tank, it has now burned down far enough to light the box of matches beneath it. Eliot quickly grabs hold of Alexa as the canisters spark and explode, the blast knocking everyone off their feet.
Whitman walks out of the bank after collecting his money, approaching his Hummer he tries to open the door but it is locked. He puts down his briefcase to find his keys and unlock the door, then picks the briefcase back up and gets inside before driving away.
Nate, sitting in his car reports to Sophie and Parker. "Whitman's gone."
Back at the militia camp, Alexa groans as she sits up using Eliot's chest for leverage since he'd used his own body as a cushion to soften her fall. "Thanks for the soft landing Eli." She said taking hold of his hand and helping him sit up alongside Hardison.
"Anytime Lex." He turns looking over the hacker for any injuries. "You all right?"
"Yeah. High five. For morale." The three slap hands.
Behind them, a yellow Hummer approaches and the hitter quickly urges them to their feet. "Yo, incoming. Go! Go, go, go!"
Eliot, Alexa and Hardison run into the woods as the Hummer stops in the still smoking camp as Chester begins to rouse. Whitman gets out of his car approaching the down soldier. "Chester! Chester, what the hell happened here?"
Chester gets to his feet, other men begin getting up as well.
"Chester! Hey! What the hell's going on? Oh, never mind. Never mind. Listen, there's too much heat on the organization right now. I have to get out of town. I want you to take the men and take them to a safe house. Give me the keys to your truck."
Chester, still somewhat stunned, searches for his keys as Whitman berates his slowness. "Come on! Hurry up!"
In the woods, Nate has located the other members of his team, he crouches down near Eliot, Alexa and Hardison as they take cover behind a fallen tree trunk. "Hey. Listen, next time I steal you a train, get on it."
"Look, man, you're not gonna rain on my parade today, Nate. I made a bomb. Out of a menthol light." Hardison states with pride.
Flashback
"I-it's over there, man."
"Oh, for God's sake, Brandon!"
Whilst Chester berates the young soldier, Hardison picks up cigarette and several matches from the ground. "For God's sake, Brandon!" He echoes trying to keep their attention off of him as he plants the lit cigarette and matches onto the propane tank.
While Hardison continues soaking in his internal pride, Nate figures out the next step of their plan. "You got a radio?" Eliot hands him the radio. "What frequency are they on?"
"Seven-seven-two."
"All right, I-I will be in touch with further instructions when it's safer." Whitman states speaking to Chester and the other soldiers.
"All units move in. What's that? We have a GPS location of the camp. A.T.F. Airborne is incoming."
"A.T.F.? That's the feds. The feds are coming!" Chester shouts.
"Be advised, be advised. We have a cooperating witness on the site. Apprehend, but do not injure Hugh Whitman."
The militia members all turn to look at Whitman upon hearing this revelation; Whitman shakes his head vehemently denying any involvement with the feds. "What? No, no, no. Hold it. Guys, hold it. Wait a minute. That's not-"
"I should have known... Once a government man, always a government man."
"Wait, I-I-I-I gave you training. I gave you equipment. Look, I handle the money."
"Yeah, let's see the money." Chester states nodding to the case.
"Here." He says opening the case. "There!" His face blanches as he sees no money in the case. "Wait a minute. Oh, no, no, no. Wait, this was straight from the bank."
Flashback
A car pulls up in front of the bank and the driver steps out smiling. "Who knew a sedan could hit 140?"
Sophie comes around the car with documents in her hand, looking sick. "Parker, you are never to get behind the wheel of a car again, okay? Never."
Nate opens the trunk and pulls out a knit cap to put on, while Sophie and Parker pull out a briefcase and put the documents inside. Near Whitman's Hummer, he puts his briefcase on the ground, and Parker switches it for the one with the documents before Whitman picks it up and gets in the Hummer.
"Wait, uh... Hey, guys, I'm... I'm a fellow patriot!"
"This the evidence you were gonna sell to the feds for your freedom?"
"What? Chester, think! This only hangs me! We're being played. We're being set up. The money must be back at the bank."
"You ain't lying about one thing. We need to hide out." He states pointing a gun at Whitman. "So let's go into town and get our money, Whitman. And maybe we don't shoot you. Move it." He barks out pushing him toward the Hummer.
"All right! All right! All right!"
"Move it! Give me the keys!"
Nate, Alexa, Eliot and Hardison move out from behind their cover and stand in the still smoking Militia camp as Chester, Whitman and the others drive off.
"Hey, you know, I'm starting to enjoy the outdoors." Hardison smiles.
"Hey, are you seriously gonna let 'em get away with this?" Eliot questions their mastermind.
"Eliot, I stole you a train. Have a little faith."
Chester and Whitman walk into an empty bank, completely devoid of any living person. "What's going on, Whitman?" Chester questions, his senses alert and firing on all cylinders.
"I don't know. They were just in here." Whitman answers confusedly as he walks toward the counter. "Hello? Hello?"
An FBI Agent slowly stands up from behind the counter. "Hands in the air." She is joined by a dozen more agents holding handguns at Whitman and Chester. "Don't move."
Outside several black SUV's pull up quickly, sirens blaring as more FBI agents surround the rest of the Militia group. "FBI! Let me see your hands! Get 'em up! Get down! Get on the ground!"
With no choice the militia members drop their weapons and get down.
The female FBI Agent comes out from behind the counter and opens the case, looking at the documents while more agents come inside to cuff Chester and Whitman.
"That's not my case. It got switched." Whitman states defending whatever was inside.
"Are these the stolen papers you mentioned?" The agent asks turning to show the papers to another woman.
Sophie nods as she chews her gum, her hands tucked into the pockets of her FBI jacket. "Yep."
"You!" Whitman hollers recognizing her and Parker who is sporting her own FBI jacket as well.
"Internal IRS documents."
The agent nods turning back to the two men. "Mr. Whitman, you and your men are under arrest."
"Wait a minute! You got to listen to me! That woman isn't who she says she is! She's a con artist!" He bellows out as FBI agents drag him out of the bank.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get that all the time. Yeah, it's all one big conspiracy." Sophie jokes.
"Yeah, you better run a psych eval on that one, huh?" Parker adds lightly hitting Sophie, the grifter nodding as she rubs her arm.
Outside while the FBI are cuffing and taking away the militia, Eliot, Alexa and Hardison walk out from around a car, watching as the agents pull Chester away. Nate joins them as Chester is pleading for the FBI to listen to his conspiracy theory.
"I'm trying to tell you. Look... Hey! And that guy! He's part of it, too! I'm telling you! Why don't you listen to me?! Listen!"
Parker and Sophie come out of the bank as Chester and Whitman are loaded into the back of a car.
Back home in Boston inside of McRory's Pub, their client Clara is looking at the check Nate had just handed her with complete awe. "Mr. Ford... I don't know what to say. Thank you. All of you."
"Well, I know you've been out of work for a little while. Do you think you could help us find the names on this list and help them get their uh, their money back?" He asks handing her the paper.
"It's only a part-time job, but I think you'll find it really rewarding." Sophie says smiling.
"Oh, I'll drive." Parker says.
Sophie immediately shakes her head as she stands up from her chair. "Unh-unh. No. No, no, no. I'll drive."
Upstairs in the briefing room/Nate's living room, Hardison and Eliot are sitting in camp chairs with a cooler playing a fishing game on the monitors.
"Uh, uh! Reel it in slow. Reel it in slow." Hardison says trying to coach Eliot through the game.
"I know how to do it, man. I heard you."
"See, you lost it."
"There's no talking. There's no talking in fishing man... that was the beauty of fishing!"
"You're tense, man. It's a delicate sport. You need to be delicate. You got it! Yeah!"
Eliot grimaces looking disappointed. "It's just not the same."
"You're right. It's better." Hardison smirks as he hooks another fish. "Yeah, buddy."
About that time the hitter noticed his best friend waltzing towards the front door; the beanie on her head coupled with the buckskin fur-lined jacket he'd bought her gave him the impression she was going out. "Hey Lex, where you off to?"
She smirked knowing he'd be out of his chair in two seconds flat when she told him. "Nate gave us the weekend off. Thought I'd go camping, maybe do a lil—" She paused to laugh as Eliot practically flew out of his chair, grabbing his jacket and running to the door, sliding to a stop beside her with a grin. "Fishing. I take it you wanna come with me?"
"I would love to." He stated giving her his best puppy dog eyes.
Alexa laughed shaking her head. "Come on dork, let's go."