Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: Crossroads

Chapter 12

Disclaimer: The characters depicted in this story belong to NBC, WB, Aaron Sorkin, and John Wells. We're just borrowing them for some fun :)

Previously: Jed leaned on Millie for help with Ellie; Leo arrived to offer Jed support

Summary: Abbey wakes up

Author's Note: Sorry for the unplanned hiatus. Family illness has kept me away from my favorite characters. Thank you for continuing to read.

Abbey laid back, staring at the ceiling as Dr. Gordon listened to her heart. The stethoscope moved from one side to the next. He'd slipped it under her gown for a better listen and she understood why her own patients always flinched when she did that. Cold medal on her bare chest. He helped her up then and put the stethoscope on her back so he could listen to her lungs. Deep breath in, deep breath out, and all Abbey could do was try to piece together what happened. How did she end up here?

Dr. Gordon finished and helped her lie back down.

"What's the date today?" he asked.

Abbey shook her head.

"I don't..." She stopped then, frustrated. "It's April, April 26th."

"Close. It's the 30th," he said. "What's the year?"

More frustrated, Abbey avoided eye contact and grudgingly answered. "1987."

"And where are we?"

"I'm not delirious, ok?"

"I have to ask, Abbey. You know this."

And she did. These were standard questions in the hospital, particularly after surgery or a coma. "We're at the hospital."

"Which one?"

"Manchester Memorial in Manchester, New Hampshire which is a state in New England on the eastern seaboard of the United States," she spat out as she struggled to sit up.

"Easy, you've got some broken ribs."

"Then maybe we should focus on that instead of playing 20 questions on where we are?"

"Honey, take it easy." Jed kneeled at her side. Choosing to steady himself on his own weight rather than be shackled to the chair beside the bed, he kept rising and sitting over and over again, prompted by her every movement, every moan that escaped her lips. His legs hurt now, but it was a mere distraction that he dismissed to maintain focus on what mattered more - his wife.

"I'm sorry," she said to Dr. Gordon. "I don't remember..."

"It's ok," Jed assured her. "I'll tell you what happened."

"Slowly. We don't want her overwhelmed," Dr. Gordon warned.

"I can handle it," Abbey insisted.

"Well, before we get into it, lie back one more time?" he asked. "Let me get a look at your eyes again."

Abbey felt him holding her right eyelid. He did this before, when she first woke up. But this time was different. It was more uncomfortable, more intrusive. Maybe it was just that she was more stimulated now and had so many questions that she couldn't answer until he finished. It seemed like eternity. The bright lights were overpowering. They bounced from one eye to the next. Abbey laid back and stared at the ceiling again. As the light bore into her eye, she saw a flash. She blinked. Another flash. She saw it again. And again.

The headlights.

She tried to remain still. She grounded herself by acknowledging Jed's hand on hers, skin to skin, feeling his warmth beside her. The doctor turned the light off and she had barely sighed in relief when he opened her other eye. Once again, he shined that light.

This time, she couldn't stop it. She remembered the headlights. The sound of the two cars pre-collision driving on the wet road, soiled from the rain. It was chilly, but not like a regular New Hampshire chill. The dampness of the air made her feel cold, even in the car. Drops of water bounced off the metal frame and despite the annoying squeak of the windshield wipers, she remembered a certain stillness in the night, an eerie silence as if someone had muted the audio in a horror film, but you still knew something terrible was about to happen. The lights got closer and closer and she remembered thinking they were going to hit, that a crash was inevitable. She remembered Lizzie's horrified scream, the most awful sound in the world, and the split second of helplessness she felt at being unable to comfort her terrified daughter. She remembered the tires screeching on the pavement and a loud bang that must have been the moment of impact. What happened next? She had no idea. What happened to Lizzie? Where was she now? Was she hurt? Was it worse? The thought was unbearable. Her stomach churned with every possibility and she felt she might be sick.

"Stop!" she shouted at Dr. Gordon. She jerked violently toward Jed. "Where's Lizzie? Where is she, Jed?"

Abbey gripped him tighter than she ever had before.

"She's okay. honey," he said as she loosed her hold.

"I want to see her. Please, Jed. I want to see her right now." Abbey knew that sometimes patients weren't told the truth by well-meaning relatives who worried that something upsetting might sabotage their recovery. Deep down, she realized that Jed would never lie to her about their children, but she still needed to see Liz with her own eyes.

"Okay, okay, I'll go get her."

Jed glanced up from her pleading face to her doctor as if looking for permission to leave, confirmation that she'd be in good hands and that nothing would happen during the time he'd be away. He hated leaving her, but she wouldn't rest easy until she could talk to Liz. He gave her a kiss and slowly backed away before ducking out of the room.

Zoey sat cross-legged on the softly braided beige area rug that covered a portion of the hardwood floors of the living room in the farmhouse. She stared at her stack of cards. She used to beg her sisters to play with her. Lizzie sometimes did, but things were different now that Lizzie was married and out of the house. Her visits were rarely to babysit and Zoey couldn't remember the last card game she played with her. And Ellie. She often played with her. Even on days when Ellie didn't feel like playing, her people-pleasing personality and affection for her baby sister made her easy to convince. Ellie had always been there for her and it went far beyond a game of cards.

Zoey felt overwhelmed now. A mixture of nervousness, loneliness, sadness, and deep genuine remorse tumbled around inside her. She felt guilty and hated that she had hurt Ellie, someone who was not only always on her side, but was kind and loving and didn't deserve to be treated the way Zoey had treated her. She accused her of being disloyal. Ellie, of all people. Ellie was fiercely loyal and Zoey knew that, but her anger got the best of her and she lashed out, pinning the blame for her hurt feelings on Ellie.

She wanted to talk to her big sister. She wanted to say I love you and then to hear it back, confirmation that the sister bond was still strong despite the recent conflict. She needed Ellie to tell her that everything would be ok, that their mother would wake up and she'd come home from the hospital good as new. She needed the comfort Ellie would provide, the reassurance that their world wasn't about to shatter into a million pieces. But Ellie wasn't home and Zoey was afraid she'd lose the courage to reach out by the time she returned.

Then, without warning, she heard the sound that jolted her. Mrs. Wilburforce barged in from the kitchen with such enthusiasm, she was practically shouting.

"She's awake! Your mom's awake!"

In the front seat of Millie's car, Ellie stared out the window as the old mills and buildings of downtown Manchester passed by and the lightly traveled city streets turned into a winding country road that led them toward the farm. Millie was more than just her mother's childhood friend. She was Ellie's godmother and a trusted adult she knew she could turn to if or when she couldn't talk to her parents. Ellie was introverted and shy. She strived to be liked and didn't feel comfortable talking about her emotions in front of others. But she'd learned at an early age that Millie, like Jed and Abbey, loved her dearly and wouldn't judge her. So that morning when Millie wanted to take her for a scoop of her favorite ice cream and a walk in the park, she didn't hesitate, even though something told her it was more than just any old walk.

And, she was right.

Millie prodded in a loving way. Why was she so withdrawn? Why was she irritable? Why had she agreed to lie for Zoey, despite knowing it was wrong?

As the afternoon wore on, Ellie started to open up. She admitted what Millie had known all along - what Jed had figured out - that Ellie was still reeling from what happened to her in school, that group of girls, former friends who viciously tormented her and hit her. Ellie hadn't just been humiliated; she was scared and vulnerable. She'd trusted those girls and now she felt so unsure of her instincts, her judgment, and her ability to stand up for right and wrong without inviting the wrath of those who could harm her, even those close to her. She'd always had a propensity for being the quiet one, unwilling to make waves or upset others, but this only reaffirmed it in her mind. It was just easier to go along with what others wanted from her than to risk making them angry. Keeping other people happy was a way to keep herself safe, after all. If the confrontation with her former friends didn't make that crystal clear, the confrontation with Zoey did.

"You okay?" Millie asked after catching a glimpse of Ellie in the side mirror.

Ellie looked over at her, paused, then answered with a forced smile. "Mmm hmm."

She had second thoughts about the things she had shared with Millie. She didn't want her parents to know. She didn't want them to see her as weak. Especially her dad. Jed valued strength and the last thing Ellie felt right now was strong. She wasn't like her sisters. Liz and Zoey were spitfires, just like their parents. Ellie never aspired to that, but she wasn't content with who she was either.

As Mille near the farmhouse, Ellie looked around, panicked. No cars in the drive. Where was Mrs. Wilburforce? Where was Zoey? Had something happened to Abbey?

Millie parked and Ellie jumped out and sprinted toward the house. She stuck her key in the door, turned the lock hard, and with her shoulder, pushed it open as if it would open faster that way.

"Zoey?" She ran upstairs so quickly, she didn't even see the note that Millie picked up. She reemerged a moment later. "They're gone."

Millie held the note out for Ellie, no words necessary; her smile gave away the contents.

Back at the hospital, James and Mary rushed into Abbey's room. With a sigh of relief and plenty of tears, they hugged and kissed her as they thanked God for her recovery. No matter how old she was, no matter that she was married with children of her own, she was still their little girl. Abbey understood that feeling because she felt the same about her own daughters and never had that comparison been more poignant than at that very moment when her every thought revolved around Lizzie.

It wasn't long after that Jed wheeled their daughter into her hospital room. Abbey looked up. Had she not been tethered to the bed by IVs and the pain of her injuries, she would have leapt out of bed to hug Lizzie. Instead, with outstretched arms, she pulled at her lines to get to her.

"I'm okay." Liz approached and stood to embrace her. "I'm being discharged today and Dad insisted on the wheelchair."

"The baby?" Abbey's gaze dropped to Liz's much smaller belly and suddenly, her expression was one of worry.

"I had the baby. She's healthy, 7 pounds, 6 ounces. Doug's with her right now, but you'll get to meet her as soon as they move you to a regular room."

"She's beautiful, Abbey," James told her.

"Just like her mama." Jed added. Standing behind her wheelchair, he dropped a kiss to Liz's head.

Abbey was groggy from the pain medication and still confused about the details of the accident. Who hit them? Was the other driver hurt? How did they get to the hospital? Every time she started to ask, the family gave her a benign answer and changed the subject. On the advice of her doctors, Jed insisted they keep her stress level low by not delving in to the upsetting news until she was further along in her recovery. Instead, they focused on the future and plans once she's discharged.

They had been joking when Millie poked her head in through a crack in the door. "Room for four more?"

Abbey looked up to see Ellie and Zoey rush in.

"Mommy!" Zoey immediately made a beeline for her mother's arms and Ellie followed right behind her.

"Oh sweetheart, I love you so much."

Jed turned to Millie quizzically. "How did you get them in here?"

"I am a doctor, you know."

"Yeah, in Boston. Means nothing in this hospital."

"It always means something, Jed." Millie winked at him. "You'd be amazed at what people will do for you when you tell them how tight you are with the hospital CMO."

Abbey called her on it. "They did NOT fall for that!"

"Oh whatever. I tried. Anyway, the charge nurse very kindly let us know that she was going on break and that no one was guarding the door so we made a run for it."

"We really did!" Ellie confirmed, smiling ear to ear. "She knew we wanted to see you. And then we ran really fast before we were caught by anyone else."

"It was fun!" Zoey added.

Jed furrowed his brows at Millie. "I'm not sure I like the values you're teaching my daughters."

Millie quipped back, "A little adventure never hurt anyone. Lighten up, Dad, they had fun."

"Well, however you got here, I'm glad you did." Abbey hugged her middle daughter.

"Are you really ok?" Ellie asked.

"Of course."

The young girl pulled away. "You're breathing hard."

"Hold on." Millie wedged herself in between mother and daughter, taking Abbey's wrist and placing a finger on her pulse.

Amused, Abbey rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Millie."

"Now you know how the rest of us feel," Jed teased his wife, a reference to Abbey's own knack for putting on her doctor hat the minute anyone around her gets hurt.

Millie looked at her friend. "You're tachycardic, tachypneic..."

"And I'm satting at 98%," Abbey interrupted. "I'm fine."

Mary interrupted then. "Whoa, whoa, English please?"

"Her heart rate is fast and her breathing is rapid and shallow, but she's getting enough oxygen," Millie said.

"Then why...?"

"Because she's been to hell and back. She's exhausted and frankly, I think she might be a tad dehydrated. I'll let her nurse know. In the meantime, she needs to rest. But she'll be fine."

"The body heals itself," Jed said aloud, remembering all those times Abbey had come home from the hospital and told him that.

"Yes, it does, but make no mistake, it's going to be a long recovery."

"Aren't you a ray of sunshine?" Abbey glared at her friend.

"It's the truth, Abbey, and you know it. No sense hiding it."

Jed lifted his wife's hand with love and adoration in his eyes. "It's ok. I spent so many days just praying that she'd open her eyes. We can get through anything now."

Husband and wife stared at one another, the love between them visible to everyone in the room, until a nurse announced herself in the doorway. Abbey needed more tests, she told them. Abbey tried to resist; she wanted to spend more time with her family. But she was in no shape to argue, especially with Jed, Millie, and her parents all encouraging her to follow doctor's orders. Reluctantly, she lie back on the bed and blew her family a kiss as they wheeled her out of the room.

It would be an hour before Abbey was finished and by then, she'd fallen asleep again, this time easily aroused. She'd left the ICU and the patient transport team took her to the general medicine floor, where Jed sat waiting, just as he had in the ICU. They wheeled her in and he ran a hand up her arm and gently pinched her skin just to hear her moan, to assure himself she hadn't lapsed into a coma.

She stirred then and her eyes fluttered before she opened them. "Hi."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"I'm glad you did."

Jed sat on her bed, her hand in his, and leaned down to kiss her. "I love you so much."

She saw the tears that shined in his baby blues. She knew the fear he must have felt, the same fear she would have felt if it had been him lying in that bed. "I love you too."

"I can't wait to take you home."

"Did they say when?"

He shook his head. "No. A few days at least according to Millie."

"Millie's been wrong before. We just have to push."

"I'm not pushing anything, sweetheart. We're going to do everything exactly the way they want us to. I'm not taking any chances with you."

A moment of silence passed between them.

"Everyone went home?"

"We didn't know when you'd be done. Your folks took the girls out to dinner and then home to put them to bed. They'll all be back first thing in the morning."

"It's really April 30th?"

"Yeah, it is."

She looked away. "Four days. How did I lose four days?"

"We'll have many more days. It's ok."

"No, Jed, it isn't," she said. "I don't know what happened. I keep seeing that car in my head and Lizzie screaming. It was the most horrific scream."

"Shhh, you don't need to think about it right now."

"It's all I can think about. I really thought you were going to tell me...I thought that she..."

"She's fine. You saw her. She's just fine. The baby is healthy. We were very lucky."

"Yeah," Abbey agreed. "What happened to the other driver?"

"We don't know," he said. "They left the scene, honey. It was a hit and run."

"Oh God." She rubbed her forehead. "Someone left us there?"

"Yeah. They don't know who."

"I remember the impact. But that's it. I can't remember what happened after the crash."

A moment of dead silence and then, Jed asked the question he'd be dreading. "Is there anything else you can't remember?"

"What?"

"You remember before the accident, right? You remember...other things?"

Abbey knew exactly what he was getting at. It had been only 8 years since she was brutally attacked in the hospital parking lot. The shock and trauma of the incident sent her into a psychological tailspin where the cost of survival was what she'd later come to know as a dissociative amnesia. She remembered her life before Jed, but her husband was a stranger to her for many weeks until she regained her memory.

As he stood beside her bed today, he couldn't help but wonder if it had happened again.

Abbey took his hand in hers and looked him squarely in the eye. "I remember everything about you." She ran her fingers up his arms, those big strong arms that always kept her safe. "Everything, Jed."

He grabbed her into an embrace so tight, it hurt. Literally hurt. He pressed into her chest, the same exact spot that had been injured on impact. But she didn't care. Feeling his warm body wrapped around her brought her comfort and peace. Since he was standing, she could hear his heart beat, faster than usual, but steady and normal. She thanked God for her husband then. He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers, refusing to let go until they heard a knock at the door.

Jed groaned as he broke his hold. Surely the doctors didn't need more tests. "Come in."

It was Doug. "Any chance you're up for a couple more visitors?"

"Of course," Abbey said.

Doug opened the door the rest of the way to reveal a smiling Liz holding baby Annie in her arms. Abbey swung her legs over the side of the bed, nearly standing if Jed hadn't gently put a hand on her shoulder to keep her down.

"This little one couldn't wait to see her grandma," Liz said, approaching her mother to introduce her to the littlest member of the family.

"Stop calling me that right this second. She'll think that's my name."

Liz laughed. "What would you prefer instead?"

"I don't know, auntie?"

Jed chuckled. "No use, babe. We're officially old."

"Speak for yourself, old man."

"Ok, ok, no sniping you two or you don't get to hold the baby." Liz delicately transferred the baby to Abbey's arms.

"Oh my God, she's beautiful." Entranced by her granddaughter, Abbey couldn't take her eyes off her. "What's her name?"

"Anneliese, because Anne is a family name and I wanted to continue the tradition. Her middle name is Abigail."

"Say Lizzie, didn't you tell me once that when you name your child after someone, it suggests you want the baby to grow up to be just like that person?" Jed put an arm around his daughter the way he always did when teasing her.

Embarrassed, Liz blushed. "Yes."

Tears stung Abbey's eyes and trailed down her cheeks when she closed them.

"Wow, did that do it?" Jed asked. "I think it did. I think we've finally managed to render your mother speechless." He high-fived Liz. "Good job, kiddo!"

Despite herself, Abbey chuckled. "Shut up, Jed!" She wiped at her tears and looked up at her daughter. "I'm sorry I wasn't there when she was born."

"It's ok. It's not like it was your fault."

"I know, but I wanted to be there with you during labor."

Liz bowed her head. Those words were much more painful than she ever imagined they could be. She was scared of labor, there was no denying that. She had a low pain tolerance and she feared how she'd cope. But part of her looked forward to it. The pain and discomfort would have been temporary, and she'd be participating in one of life's most miraculous events while fully awake and alert. But that didn't happen. Liz never had the opportunity to experience labor. She wasn't even given a choice. Because of the rupture and the bleeding, Liz had to have an urgent Cesarean section. Her condition was so precarious that they put her under general anesthesia. She had no memory at all of Annie's birth.

Jed squeezed Liz's hand and that exchange between father and daughter confirmed to Abbey there was something she didn't know, something clearly painful to the rest of her family.

"What is it?" she asked, fearful of the answer she'd receive. "You're scaring me."

Liz leaned down to take Annie out of Abbey's arms and make room for Jed to sit on the edge of the bed. Standing behind them, Doug put a comforting hand on Liz's shoulder.

Jed could see the fear in Abbey's eyes. Time was up. He couldn't mince words. He decided he had to tell her. "Lizzie had an emergency C-section."

"What?"

"The placenta ruptured right after the accident." He allowed her a moment to process what he'd told her, then went on. "She lost a lot of blood. She needed a transfusion...and, unfortunately, they had to put her under for the C-section."

Abbey looked up at her daughter again. The same girl who couldn't stand the sight of blood, who couldn't tolerate pain, who would latch on to her mother's hand and still scream bloody murder every time she needed a shot, had had emergency surgery, and Abbey wasn't even there to comfort her. "Oh Lizzie."

"It's ok. It's over." Liz bit down on her bottom lip in a vain attempt to prevent tear. She looked down adoringly at Annie and tried desperately to maintain her composure instead of remembering the trauma of the last few days.

Jed felt powerless. He glanced over from his daughter's pained expression to his wife's. He'd prayed for a miracle, he'd begged for Abbey to wake up in some fantastical belief that once she opened her eyes, all their problems would be over. But that was just what it was - a fantasy. The medical threat was gone, but that meant nothing in the face of the psychological threat they now had to confront. They didn't even know who the driver was or the level of danger that lurked beyond the walls of the hospital, a fact that he both acknowledged and wanted desperately to forget. He steeled himself against his own emotions; he needed to be there for Abbey and Liz. What was coming had the potential to be even worse than what they already survived.

The healing had just begun.

TBC