Thanks for the reviews.
I don't own the vampire diaries.
A reader thought Rick self-harms because he uses a leather band to snap on his wrist, but it is actually a common technique use with people in anger management therapy. it is called snap out of it, and you can do it with a rubber band around the wrist or a leather band. it is psychiatric conditioning.
please, review.
Chapter IV: Inconvenient matrimony.
The conversation has lasted half an hour, and the opinions are not about to change. The Jones looks at the grandson and grandfather with consternation. They are both too stubborn, and a conversation between two walls is not one, which they want to witness. However, that is the only thing, which can stand as a description of the exchange between Rick and Richard senior. Michonne sighs, and she starts to pace. Richard Grimes senior has made his demand known, and he will not take anything in exchange of a medical transfer. He wants a marriage in exchange, and Rick does not intend to agree. Michonne has heard it all already, but Rick is careful with her tongue. In the half an hour, he has called her a drug addict only once, and it is progress.
"Do you have to be stubborn about it?" Rick asks at the end of a long tirade on why He deserves better, and Michonne is grateful.
If she had to roll her eyes for another time at his open jab at her, she will have eroded her orbits. Morgan shares Michonne's exhaustion, and they share the same look. If she were not the topic of discussion, Michonne would leave the room. Morgan leaves the room after sighing loudly for the benefit of the remaining crowd in the room.
"Tell him that he is stubborn." Rick turns toward Michonne to ask for her assistance, and Michonne's eyebrows fly to her hairline.
She has to swallow her petty remark. The situation is dire, and she shares Rick's belief in the situation. Richard senior deserves specialized care, and he won't find it in King County general. The issue does not rest on the money, but stubbornness is the biggest flaw of Grimes men. Richard senior has made peace with his health situation, and he does not want to be the subject of a medical stubbornness. He does not want his last day to be undignified. He wants to die where he is born. However, he is willing to compromise.
"Pot calling the kettle black." Michonne offers from the wall corner where she chose to disappear as soon as Rick started to recite the ridiculous reason why he hates her.
Nothing new and it is not worth her attention. Michonne moves away from the wall, and she joins the arguing pair. She sits by Richard senior, and she takes his hand and intertwines their fingers. Michonne raises her head, and she locks eyes with Rick, who sits opposite to her. The conversation is silent, and it is strangely respectful. They know when to be mature about the situation.
"As if it is the same thing. He is forcing me to get married to you, and I'm trying to get him the best medical care." Rick breaks their silent conversation to start a vocal one.
Richard senior looks at his grandchild, and he wonders why they are too stupid to face such a simple truth. They know how to function as a pair when they don't fight their symbiosis. Richard senior takes a deep breath, and he wants to force reason in the stubborn mind.
"A new hospital bed won't cure me. It won't make me feel better, but Marrying Michonne will make you happy." Richard senior says with unwavering confidence.
Michonne and Rick chuckle at the ridiculousness of the statement. Anyone with common sense can tell that a marriage between the pair will end in a crime of passion. When he is not rude to her, Michonne finds the way to infuriate Rick. When Michonne is nice to Rick, he can't stand it. They always have a reason to argue or they create it.
"Grandpa..." Rick starts to speak, and Michonne rubs her temple.
She raises her hand to stop him, and Michonne does not want round two of their back and forth. The night has exhausted her, and their vigorous exchange may contribute to the worse headache of Michonne's life.
"I will take over, and you should join Grandpa Morgan before you give Grandpa Richard a heart attack with all your shouting." She politely dismisses Rick, and she expects him to protest.
"Be my guest." He replies.
However, Michonne has shown enough of her character to Rick, and he knows not to push when she is on the edge. He is too exhausted to fight with Michonne. He stands and reluctantly leaves the room.
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*… *
*…
"Rick is right, Grandpa Richard." Michonne starts to speak, and Richard senior throws at her an all-knowing look.
He sits up and squeezes Michonne's hand. He is glad to have her by his side, and she is the reasonable one in the pair. He looks at her with a quizzical expression, which Michonne wants to question.
"No, he is a stubborn idiot." Richard senior replies with unwavering confidence and Michonne laughs.
It is Michonne's first genuine laugh in the day, and this is why she is afraid to lose her grandfather. Richard senior has a candour, which helps ground Michonne. He has a way to keep misery at bay with his honesty and his joyful nature. For a second, she can forget about her ruined image and her growing loneliness. Richard senior reads her melancholy on Michonne's saddened expression, and he squeezes her hand until she comes out of those dark thoughts.
"What happens if I'm not so willing to marry him? He is arrogant and angry, and he hates me. I don't think you want me to marry someone who hates me." Michonne quietly says, and Richard senior waves her doubt with his hand.
He smiles at her with the same expression he used to look at her when she was a confused child. The smile is warm, and Michonne finds the comfort, which she wanted. She knows he is about to lecture her, but Michonne does not care as long as she can hear him speak for hours.
"You're a misinformed fool, Chonne. If you think Rick hates you, you need more romance in your life. So young and yet so unpassionate." He laments with an exaggerated sigh, and Michonne rolls her eyes at her grandpa's shenanigans.
"Rick was a difficult little boy. I mean downright terrible. An emotional dictator. He felt everything with so much intensity, and he did everything with tiring intensity. If He didn't like you, he didn't talk to you. If he hated you, he would leave the room when you stepped in. With the years, nothing has changed in that regards. Believe me, he does not hate you. He is confused, angry, hurt, and incapable to process his feelings. Therefore, he is lashing out on a stable emotional point. An emotional constant, you." Richard senior points out what Michonne can understand.
Being in the centre of the conflict, she does not have her grandfather's objectivity. Michonne is Rick's emotional constant. For years, he carried the same feeling for her, and chances are that he still carries them buried behind the anger. Christmas Eve was emotionally traumatic, and the morning, which followed destroyed Rick's emotional balance. Through every event, Michonne is a constant. She helps him channel his emotions. Fear, anger, and love, Rick associates everything during that night to Michonne. He kissed her when he was in a euphoric state. He kept eye contact with her when he was in deep terror. He ultimately lashed out when he did not know what to do with his anger. Michonne is Rick's thread of sanity, and he is holding too hard on that thread.
"Richard is not a child." Michonne refuses to accept the excuses, which Richard senior on behalf of his grandson.
"He has the emotional range of a six-year-old. If I'm being generous, he may have the emotional range of an eight-year-old. What Rick can't process turns into anger, and it does not help that you allow him to be out of line." Michonne's rebuttal of the fact does not stop Richard senior, and he continues to shed light on the complicated dynamic Michonne and Rick have.
When her grandpa calls her an enabler, Michonne allows an indignant cry to fall from her lips. Although, she can't contradict the truth behind his words. Tonight, she has seen that she could ask respect from Rick. When she demanded something from him, Rick complied.
"Rick won't stop until you acknowledge something he does not know that he is expressing. If you silently take every punch, he will continue to throw them until you acknowledge his pain." Michonne's words can't disprove Richard's claim because she knows from experience.
Tonight, she walked in Rick's shoes, and she sought comfort where she knew she would find it in any available form. Michonne sought Rick because until ten years ago, he was a constant source of comfort. Michonne draws a deep breath, and she ignores her thoughts. She does not want to walk the memory lane, and Michonne does not want to create excuses for Rick Grimes. Although, his confession and accusations resonate in the crevice of her mind. She wants to ignore it, but a sentimental of betrayal coated each word, which Rick spoke. She does not want to acknowledge it, but Michonne knows that it goes beyond the fact that he thinks that she spoke to Carlton.
Too noble to sleep with someone underage, who willing throws herself at me, but my stepmother was right up my alley? Does it sound in character to you? Rick's words start to turn in a loop in Michonne's mind. She does not want to give ground to his anger, and she will rather believe that a misunderstanding fuels his anger. She was sixteen and in love. Why can he understand that fact? Why will he put so much on her shoulder?
You loved me and you still had to believed I was utter trash to sleep with my stepmother. Michonne's mind starts to put her through torture, and it is hard to walk out another person's emotional conflict. Rick may not know the root of his anger, but Michonne starts to feel it. Rick was used to the admiration, which Michonne had from it, and she withdrew it when he needed it the most. Rick felt sullied, and Michonne's belief in his guilt strengthens the feeling. However, she was a sixteen year old in love, and she could not offer him a fair trial.
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..
"I'm not willing to deal with his man pain." Michonne voices her thoughts, and she tries to quiet her mind.
She looks into Richard's senior eyes, and all the Grimes men have these magnificent blue eyes, which looks deep into a being. Michonne feels bare, and Richard senior's soft look completely undoes her mental shield. Michonne shoves her thumbs in her eyelids, and she vigorously rubs until her tear ducts are too sore to allow the tears to flow.
"He treats me like dirt on his shoes." Michonne starts to argue with herself although she pretends that the arguments are for Richard senior's sake. "Those horrible things, which he says, they are not true. Grandpa Richard, I don't get it." Michonne continues, and Richard squeezes her hand to guide her through her emotional purge. "Somehow, he has gotten worse in ten years. Why do you want me to marry him?" Michonne asks with a timid voice.
"Because you both need happiness," Richard says softly, and he wipes that brave tear, which crosses the barrier of her eyelid.
Michonne does not want to tell her grandfather the truth. Perhaps, she does not want to admit the truth to herself. For some people, it is too late. Somethings are too heavy for a relationship, and other things have created deep scars. Too much salt on the wound and ten years have allowed that wound to fester. Christmas Eve consumed their chance of happiness.
"With Rick? I'm going to shut because my mama blesses her soul raised me right." Michonne's attempts to fake jolliness, but the laugh is hollow.
The flow of her tears is too fast, and she hides her visage in her hands. Michonne draws a deep breath, and she attempts to disregard what she now knows. She is thankful to Richard because he pretends that she is not a second away from sobbing. He rubs her back in soothing circles, and she fights the tears.
"Are you happy, baby?" Richard asks her the difficult questions, which she no longer dares asking to herself.
Michonne draws a deep breath, and her tongue no longer knows how to spew lies. Words refuse to leave the enclave of her throat, and so Michonne does not bother to answer.
"Are you fulfilled?" Richard senior insists, and the knife sinks deeper into Michonne's heart.
"Are you yourself?" He continues to unbury her fear, and He forces her to face them.
"Grandpa?" Michonne pleads with Richard, but he has to help her out her misery.
He squeezes on her hand to tell her that she has the source of comfort, which she needs. Michonne takes a deep breath, and she raises her head to face him. There is no judgement in his eyes, and there is no disappointment. There is only warmth, and Michonne can bask in it.
"Morgan and I always thought you will marry Richard. He had a way to drive you forward, and he made you strive for the best. If Richard knew how to climb a tree, you had to know how to do the same." The warmth in his eyes echoes the bright smile on his lips, and Michonne can almost relive those memories, which Richard senior wants to share with her.
"When you started to handle those twigs of yours, you will trail after him and you use to butcher his name. We always knew with Richard Michonne is safe. Around Richard, Michonne is happy. We figure out that you will work it out in your thirties. Old romantic fools, we are." Richard continues to explain the reason why he wants Michonne and Rick married.
"We are no longer children. That was a phase." Only regrets fill Michonne's statement.
She regrets their childhood, and Michonne regrets the days before Christmas Eve. If Christmas Eve never happened, Richard senior's dream might have become a reality. Michonne can picture it. For years, they would have orbited around each other. They would have dated people, and Rick will have his moment of epiphany. Now, it is too late and that fantasy is lost.
"You continue to behave like children. You pick every lost puppy you can find, Michonne. Sasha told Morgan about that boyfriend of yours. Wanting to make the world happy. Wanting to have someone to save. He is no good for you that man. He drains you, and I'm offering you a better charity case." He counters her argument.
"So you want me to save Rick. How will it make me happy? Do you want me to build a man from scratch? How outdated can it be, Grandpa?" Michonne needs a way to express her frustration to the situation.
Whatever her grandfathers are attempting to offer is a pale copy, which can't stand the comparison to what Rick and she could have had. Michonne does not want that pale copy, and she can't have what should have been. Therefore, she does not want a substitute.
"Get down of your offended feminist high horse. I'm telling you to save yourself. Baby, we both know you're drowning. If you need drug..." Richard says with a voice filled with indignation, and Michonne interrupts him before he can go further on the topic.
"It was once, and it was..." Michonne tries to explain although she is embarrassed and words tumble on the tip of her tongue.
"I don't want to hear excuses. Richard is a grown accomplished man. He is hard around the edge, but he isn't the best version of himself right now. I trust that he can remedy to the situation. You won't have to fix what is broken in him. He has too much pride to use you in that manner. He is going to build himself, and you're going to use him as a crutch." He says matter of factly, and he does not allow Michonne to stop him until he finishes his statement.
"If you were one of those strong souls able to achieve personal growth without allowing anyone to interrupt you, you would not need Richard. However, you pick strays along the road. Philip will go, and you will find one equally worse. I believe Rick is suitable for the stray role. You need a spine to handle him, and you will find one because it is natural for you to react to him. You need to feel of use because you like nurturing, but Rick will never drain you. His pride will prevent that. You always strived to please him, and you can't help yourself. However, you never wanted to turn into a version of you, which he would like. You wanted him to love the best version of you." Richard continues to explain what he has given great thought too.
Michonne listens to what her grandpa has to say, and he is essentially offering her a companion of sobriety.
"This is ridiculous. You can't just force us into a marriage because of some noble intents. I'm doing fine, and I'm happy." Michonne attempts to lie, but the dry tears on her cheek debunk her claim.
"Happy people don't take drugs, and happy people don't run away from who they are. They don't bend and twist their essence until it can fit a mould. Don't lie to yourself baby, you were never a good liar." Richard's words put the truth on display, and Michonne can't formulate a proper rebuttal.
"This is ridiculous. I don't need Rick to become a good person or a better person. This is ridiculous." She insists, and she knows those words to be true.
"And no one believes the contrary. You are a good person, who happens to forget it. No one can make you a better person or it is simply pretences. A mirror does not make you beautiful, and it reflects what you're. Someone needs to hold your hand when you crumble. I won't be able to do it anymore, and you love Morgan too much to submit him to your turmoil. Rick can do it, and he did it most of your childhood. You fall, and he picks you up. However, only you can walk the extra miles, and he will be cheering." Richard senior agrees with Michonne, and he corners her with his words.
"This Rick Grimes. This man? This is ridiculous. He would not spit on me if I was on fire." Michonne no longer knows which argument to offer.
"He would let you catch fire to start." Once again, Richard's wit defeats Michonne's argument.
"Obviously, he will set me on fire." Michonne petulantly says, and Richard senior laughs.
It is a tacit thing, but he knows that he has her agreement. Rick might be the most vocal about his refusal to cooperate, but Michonne was always the hardest to convince.
"Passion is a good thing in any type of marriage." He counters, and Michonne can't help herself.
She starts to laugh, and Richard senior pats her hand.
"Grandpa Richard." She laments at his antics, and he sheepishly grins at her.
"I'm simply talking from experience, Chonne." He continues to tease her until Michonne forgets about her previous tears.
"This is ridiculous." She repeats her last argument, and she knows that he has won.
"Perhaps, that is how ridiculous our lives have become," Richard says good-heartedly
"I..." She stutters because there is a sad truth to his words.
"My offer is on the table. If you want to turn me in a medical guinea pig before my death, you will have to pay my price." He says with a nonchalance, which eases his words to Michonne.
"We are trying to save your life. We're trying to give you the best care. You're making it impossible." Michonne says with false indignation.
"I'm an old man, who lived a great life. I had an amazing wife and had the greatest friendship. I'm good, baby." Richard says, and Michonne knows that there is no hope to convince him.
"You won't budge." She says as a way of agreeing to take his offer, and Richard senior kisses her cheek.
The coffee in the plastic cup has become lukewarm, and Rick intermittently glances at the door of the small hospital cafeteria. He gives half thoughts to what Morgan says. There is that heavy tension, which precedes fatality on his shoulder. Rick only awaits confirmation, but tonight has sealed his fate. Once again, he glances at the door at every step sounds. He does not need to be clear-sighted to know how the conversation between Michonne and his grandfather will end. Rick sighs and he focuses at Morgan who looks at him with an all-knowing smile.
"He will convince her." Morgan reads his thoughts and echoes Rick's belief.
"I know," Rick says as he brings the insipid lukewarm coffee to his lips.
Rick sips his coffee, and he finds no comfort into the brewage taste. He passes his hand in his dishevelled curl, and he returns Morgan's smile with a grimace. For as long as Rick has thought of the issue, he does not understand the motivation behind this marriage of convenience, and he voices his doubts.
"Why would you even think we are compatible? Tonight, I almost dropped her in the middle of nowhere when she asked." Rick says with a tone filled with frustration and petulance.
At his statement, Morgan laughs, and he pats Rick's shoulder. Rick's stubbornness never ceases to amuse him.
"Glad you didn't because you would have walked back there to pick her," Morgan says after recovering from his laugh.
"I know, Grandpa Morgan." Rick echoes.
"You need to talk to her. If she is becoming your wife, this anger and resentment won't do." Morgan words slam into the almost jovial ambience, and the tension settles in the atmosphere.
Rick offers a tight smile, and he is quick to close himself to the suggestion. Morgan does not allow Rick attitude to be a barrier, and he leans back in his chair to take a good look at the young man. He quietly drinks his coffee for a minute, and he allows Rick to process his thoughts. The silent is not oppressive, but it is far from comfortable. Rick mimics Morgan, and he takes more of the bad coffee. The taste stays on Rick's tongue, and it is as bitter as anything feeling he has concerning this entire affair.
"There is nothing to talk about. It won't change the past." He quietly says, and he rushes to put the plastic cup in front of his lips because he has to fight the impulse to say more.
Rick does not like to revisit the matter, but in two days, he has not been able to think about anything but that dark past. His anger is beyond a level, which he can control, and it is the beginning of a vicious circle. The lack of control on the situation fuels his anger. He only wants to put distance between him and King County. However, he has no choice but to stick around.
"The great past when you had an inappropriate infatuation over Michonne," Morgan says with a nonchalance, which does not match the impact of his words.
Rick's expression changes again, and he tenses in a revealing manner. Morgan files his reaction as a tacit admission, and he did not need confirmation for what he figured out twelve years ago. The push and push game between Michonne and Rick is an ancient story. Although, it was never a cause of concern for Morgan because Rick knew where the boundaries lay. He never looked too long, and when his feelings grew, he put the right amount of distance between Michonne and him.
"We saw that." Morgan continues, and Rick starts to feel extremely uncomfortable.
"Looking at you now and your behaviours, you emulate a heartbroken lover, but one who is not over the infatuation," Morgan adds with that same taunting all-knowing smirk.
"I'm not in love with Michonne. It is anything but love. It is far from love." Rick vehemently protests the implied accusation.
Morgan squashes the temptation to quote Shakespeare. It will do no good to corner Rick to the point where discomfort makes him flee the room. There is a method to Rick Grimes madness.
"Love is an ambitious choice of words. For sure, you are angry with her, and you focus on that. However, she polarizes you, and you're in denial." Morgan starts to point the truth, and Rick crosses his arm in a challenging manner.
However, he does not have a verbal rebuttal for Morgan's statement. The conversation is increasingly uncomfortable, and he almost wants it to stop before they start to unbury long lost emotions. Rick does not want a few words to do the progress he did in ten years. Being around Michonne already feels like an emotional regression. Through his everyday life, Rick is more contained, but in the last two days, he has been acting on impulse. His entire life has turned into a succession of reaction, and it is unsettling. After Christmas Eve horror, he has clung on control, and around Michonne, he unravels.
"You don't hate her, and you seek her too much for that option to be credible." Morgan stops Rick before he can excuse his behaviours with the lies, which he chooses to believe for his emotion sanity.
"If she is in the room, Michonne is your focal point. That is not how you express hatred. That is closer to the expression of twisted, wavering, and undesired adoration. Hatred, it was you throw at Carlton. If he is in a room, you walk out because you can't stand the sight of your father. If Michonne is in the room, you will stay there and make sure she knows you're there." Those facts are irrefutable, and so Rick drinks his coffee with a sour face.
There are many truths, which are uncomfortable to hear. Morgan's words are painful to Rick. He does not want to hear them, and he does not want the weight, which they carry. Rick pushes his chair backwards, and the desire to stand and leave is strong. Morgan must notice the twitch of his legs because he takes a great pause to allow Rick to digest the truth. For a few minutes, they silently drink their coffee, which tastes like grounded granite.
"When you're in the same space, you make sure you're Michonne's sole focus and that she can't forget the interaction. You're heartbroken and infatuated. The wise thing to do is to take those emotions out of the playground. Albeit it is an extreme and lose version of pulling on her pigtails and it will only get you this far with a young woman. Michonne broke your heart, and you should tell her. It is immature to try to return the favour. If she broke it, she can fix it better than anything you attempt to do." Morgan finishes to speak, and the words are a brutal assault to Rick's emotion.
Rick can no longer sit still, and he stands to relieve the tension. He pinches the bridge of his nose, and he glares at Morgan with a certain anger for being forced to confront his emotions. For a minute, he paces back and forth. Rick stares at the door, and he wants to walk away. He should return to his apartment and forget about this visit.
"That is utter bullshit. Ain't nothang like what you describe between her and me. Bullshit." The protestations are weak, and they are mostly an expression of Rick's discomfort for having his feelings exposed.
"Your mother raised you better, Richard Grimes," Morgan calmly said, and he watches Rick paces like a Lion in a cage.
"Sorry, but there was no better way to express it." Rick returns to his seat, and he frowns.
"If you don't talk to her, Michonne and you are going to start a race on who ruin the other life faster," Morgan says, and Rick humorlessly laughs.
"Then she is ahead of the race, and I will be only returning the favour." Rick counters with a grim tone.
Morgan cocks an eyebrow in a questioning manner, and Rick refuses to expand on the matter. He looks into his coffee cup, and it is empty. The night continues to get worse.
"I trust you not to hurt my granddaughter." Morgan sincerely adds, and Rick knows that he has received an order to be on his best behaviours.
"Perhaps, marrying her to a man, who loves her could have prevented this possibility." Rick counters because his anger forces through him a desire of rebellion.
If they choose his wife, he might as well have the choice on how he wants to treat her. Deep down he knows that he is being immature, but petulance helps him cope with his turmoil.
"If it is any consolation, we believe we are doing that. As compensation for your great sacrifice, you get your grandfather shares of the company." Morgan says in mocking tone, and his sarcasm infuriates Rick.
"Where does that leave Carlton?" He questions, and there is a malicious interest in his eyes.
If his grandfather's ludicrous idea of what sounds like a bad plot for a regency romance screws him, Rick might as well gain something in return. The idea of leaving Carlton penniless is charming, and it is a consolation.
"Your grandfather does not want the work of a lifetime and his legacy to fall in non-Grimes' hands. Your children are going to be Grimes, and his children are not." Morgan spills the secret, which is not truly one, but Carlton appears to be the only one to believe his wife's lies.
There are traits, which are distinctive to the Grimes. For many generations, the Grimes men have looked like a copy of their father, and the likeness is unmistakable. However, Jessie's children do not carry any of those genetic traits. Only based on those facts, Morgan would not make such accusations, but Jessie's liaison with doctor Anderson is not a well-kept secret.
"Grandpa Morgan." Rick is too shocked to say more.
"You're not blind." Morgan rolls his eyes at Rick's disbelief, and Rick must admit that his half-brothers do not look like him. "
Small towns aren't a great place to carry a liaison, but Carlton wants to be a fool in love. The idiot almost drove the company to the ground, but he couldn't care as long as his wife was please and living off his father's money. Richard may be disappointed, but Carlton will not be penniless. It goes for Maggie too. You're just the safest choice for the company. Maggie will allow Carlton to force his will on her." Morgan finishes with a conspiring tone.
"He won't let you win this fight. Richard is stubborn. Michonne will walk out of his hospital room ready to marry you, and you won't have much choice. So maybe use this few minutes to work the courage to speak up on your feelings." As if conjured out of Morgan's thoughts, his granddaughter enters the cafeteria through the door, which Rick has been hoping to use an escape.
A glance at Michonne and Rick knows his fate.
"I need to talk to you," Michonne tells him with a dejected tone, and Rick compliantly follows her out of the room.
...
...
...
Michonne leans against a wall, and she is a reflection of Rick's exhaustion. Few strays locks fall from the loose bun, which she attempted to do. Rick mimics her posture, and he leans against the opposite wall. The corridor, which they found to talk, is small and dimly lit. Michonne sighs and she does not know how to start the conversation. She lights the cigarette, which she finally found. Rick shares Michonne's reluctance to speak, and so he stares at her until it becomes uncomfortable for both parties.
"It is a paper…" Michonne starts to speak, and she stops to blow smokes. "A formality." She insists because she expects resistance.
Rick is almost apathetic, and his mind has no left his precedent conversation with Morgan. He stares at Michonne with the hope to find an answer to his question. Does he really have a restrained infatuation for Michonne? The thought is not farfetched. Michonne is gorgeous, and he is not blind. That is a detail, which is hard to disregard. Even under this dim light, her beauty is almost too entrancing to the eyes. The hue of her skin, which glows from within, and the long locks, which frame her visage. Albeit, Rick may desire Michonne, but that is a natural law. He is a man, and she is a beautiful woman.
Michonne waits for an answer, but aside for a few insisting glances, Rick does not show any interest. She assumes that he disagrees with her proposition and Michonne's stress increases. She takes as much as she can from her cigarette. Michonne moves away from her corner, and she closes half of the distance between Rick and her.
"We don't have to live together. You don't have to deal with me. We will return to our lives." Michonne overbids her previous argument with a new suggestion.
Rick continues to be silent, and she is exhausted. After her conversation with Richard senior, Michonne is not in the emotional frame to deal with their distorted dynamic. She almost wants to shake him out of this state. Perhaps, if she tells him what she has come to understand the walls will start to crumble.
"Fabulous." Rick ultimately answers, and he has to distance himself from Michonne.
Morgan has planted a seed in his mind, and he does not like what he may harvest. He does not intend to feed that thought, but Morgan's words have sunken in the deepest crevices of Rick's mind. Looking at Michonne, he almost feels the need to tell her things, which he has yet to think about consciously. The story contains more than what Rick wants to explore.
Michonne draws a deep breath, and Rick's sarcasm coupled to his nonchalance infuriates her. She glares at Rick, and Michonne expects more than a single word. He can't bother to care about their situation enough to have a mature conversation.
"Sincerely fuck you, Richard Grimes junior." She spits in a quiet fury, and Rick stops his exit.
"Some dreams are just out of reach." He answers without missing a bit, and he gratifies her of that disdainful look, which he has twisted to express his anger in the most hurtful manner.
"I can't believe two of the most brilliant men, who I respect and love, think that we will be this super couple." Michonne sighs with exhaustion, and she finishes her cigarette.
"We will be nothing to each other, I guarantee you. When the time comes, I will make sure to send you the divorce paper." Rick makes sure to drive his message across, and it is a rejection of Morgan's claim.
"I will sign them. If that is all, grandpa has the mayor waiting." Michonne says with an unwavering voice, but she wants to claw his arrogance out of his flesh.
Rick passes by her, and she impulsively reacts. Michonne holds Rick's arm until he looks at her. She ignores his glare, and she wills her courage to speak.
"I never told uncle Carlton what happened in the party. You don't have to believe me, but I never told him anything about you and Jessie." Michonne whispers the words because she is unsure how he will react.
Michonne does not dare to brush the core of the problem, and her words don't appease Rick's fury. He is reluctant to let go of his anger, and he needs the anger to overlook most of the horror.
"I remember seeing you." The accusation disappears under his sudden melancholy, and Michonne almost feels as if he is looking at her as he did ten years ago.
The look is empty, and it almost brings Michonne to tears. Why does he expect wisdom from a sixteen-year-old? What does he want her to offer?
"And it made me angry that you will look at me while you were with her," Michonne admits, and when she wants to go deeper with her confession, Rick's hard look warns. She forgoes the explanation and the justification for the truth. "I'm not saying that I didn't say anything. I'm saying that I never shared with uncle Carlton. If this is why you hate me, you're wrong and I'm tired of this." Michonne finishes, and she frees his arm
"Same difference." Unmoved in his belief, Rick answers.
She has yet to give him what he wants, and Rick is unwilling to let go of his shield. Forgiving her offence will mean to let go of a balance, and he can't let go of Michonne.
"Do you want an apology? What is it that you want?" Michonne insists when his stance does not change on the matter.
Rick ignores Michonne's question, and he walks away.
"I want you to promise that you will do right by her." Richard senior says to Rick a few minutes before his impromptu wedding with Michonne.
Richard drags a necklace out of his collar, and he pulls a wedding band out of it. The rings belonged to Rick's grandmother. The gold on the ring is cheap and mixed with iron. The ring attests of the Grimes modest debut, and it has very little material value. However, the stories behind the ring were Rick's bedtime stories. Richard senior bought the ring after saving his salary for seven years as a farm boy, and he only dares to offer it to his wife after two years. He was too embarrassed by the cheapness of it, but seven years of dedication can't be priced accurately. There are a few lines around the edge, but the ring has been worn for fifty years before ending on his neck. The ring stands as a token of value, which Richard senior wants Rick to uplift.
"I don't know what you want from me, grandpa," Rick answers with a low sneer, which perfectly expresses his annoyance with the situation.
"Growth, maturity, and I want you to be happy. If you continue to act up around Michonne, you won't be happy, and she will leave before you have a chance to happiness. Some regrets are heavier than others to carry." Richard senior answers without missing a bit, and he has thought about the question.
He takes Rick's palm, and he places the ring in the middle. Rick knows the emotional value attached to the small family heirloom. He remembers his grandmother and her carefulness with her wedding band. Rick remembers how it was always put aside when she cooked, but nothing will look as elegant as her hand adorned with her small golden band. Rick refuses to accept the ring, and he does not believe Michonne deserves something so precious.
"I'm giving you what you want," Rick says with frustration, and he tries to return the ring.
"When she needs you, you will be there. No question asked or pride, you will step in if Michonne asks. Promise me you will be good to her." Richard senior insists to have Rick's words because he knows his grandson has honour.
"So much for my happiness," Rick says with bitterness, but he silently agrees to the request.
"Michonne does not need a reminder on how to treat you right. Do you think she wants to marry you so I can accept to be transferred? Life happens, but don't let it pull you by the tail." Richard senior return his late wife wedding to Rick's hand, and he keeps Rick's palm closed around it until his grandson reluctantly agrees to use the family room has Michonne's wedding ring.
"You're already doing the pulling. Hooray, I'm getting married." Rick stands from the bed's spot, which he took, and he waits for Michonne to join him.
…
….
…
It is a small affair and a strange one. The groom and the bride are not the happiest people in the world, and they are not dressed for the occasion. Pyjamas are not the most formal clothes. For a second, life feels like a farce, but it lacks the comical relief. As Morgan leads Michonne down the proverbial aisle or the hospital corridor, her heart no longer knows how to beat. Her purple silk baby doll glows under the wavering led light. Michonne steps are slow, and they match Morgan's encouraging words. She holds on the ring in her hand, and it is Morgan's wedding band. For sixty years, he has worn that ring. Never once, he has removed it. Michonne stares at her grandfather's hand, and the light line on his finger humbles her.
The silver band is warm, and it starts to cool in her hand because of the lack of skin contact. There is a weight on her shoulder, and Michonne's emotions have crawled up to her throat. A childhood dream, which takes nightmarish qualities. Life has a harmful sense of humour. Morgan leaves her side, and Michonne wants to hold at his arm like a frightened child. However, she is a frightened adult, and a façade is what she should put.
They both stand in silence while Mayor Greene says few words, and they are asked if they entered their union on their own volition. The humourless laughs are on the tip of their tongue. Instead, The smile is accompanied by watery eyes on Michonne's face, and Rick shows sign of impatience. Their vows are lost on them, and it is a mechanical repetition. Words without meaning, but the words have not lost their heaviness. Shoulders sink lower, and every breath is harder to take.
Mayor Greene says something about death tearing them apart, but the possibility of someone's death is uniting them. Michonne can't keep still, and Rick does not move. Her hands twitch every second, and she discreetly takes a deep breath. Rick appears to be controlled, and he says his vows without stumbling on any words. He exults a confidence, which warms Michonne. She says her vows and at every word, she falters. There are no flowers, and there is no veil. The room is bare aside from the medical equipment, and the bip of the vital signs' monitoring machine stands for the music.
Michonne's hands are empty without the impressive bouquet, which should lay in them. Therefore, Michonne does not know what to do of her hand, and so she takes Rick's one. Her fingers slide between his sweaty ones, and she presses her palm to his. There is a plea in her eyes, and rejection will be too brutal. He squeezes her hand. Rick's expression continues to be stoic, and Michonne is too expressive. They are such a strange pair with their pyjama.
When she pushes her grandfather's ring on Rick's hand, Michonne's hand trembles, and Rick drops his grandmother ring on the ground. It takes five minutes to retrieve the ring, and they breathe a sigh of relief during those five minutes. For the first time since the ceremony started, Rick and Michonne lock eyes. The moment is brief, but it is also intense. Morgan retrieves the ring, and he puts back in the centre of Rick's palm. The weight, which almost left his shoulder returns. He puts the ring in Michonne's hand, and there is finality to the act. They are required to sign their marriage license.
"You can kiss the bride." The words resonate in the small hospital room, and the newlyweds are frozen.
The kiss is tentative, and he does not know where to put his hand. Rick's lips brush Michonne's one, and she does not know if she should welcome his touch. They are frozen in an awkward embrace. Rick settles on wrapping his arm around her waist, and Michonne circles his neck. Their bodies brush, and there is warmth spreading through them. A deep breath turns into an opening for Rick's tongue. A kiss, which was awkward, turns into a timid kiss, and he lazily probes her mouth. Michonne returns the stroke of his tongue, and Rick's arms start to crush her waist. She has to rise on her toes to match the exigence of Rick's tongue, and passionate curiosity erases the timidity of their kiss.
Although, restraint quenches the passion when the joust of their tongues become to fiery. Rick breaks the kiss, and he puts as much distance as he can between them. Their hands adorn by unmatched wedding bands graze, and they move further away from each other. A paper and a formality, she told him. Michonne knows that she will be wiser to remember it. He hates her, and she has no name for what she feels after their kiss. The night ends with Richard senior putting in a request for a medical transfer.
..
…
…
The early morning knocks startle Michonne, and she barely manages to walk up to her door. When she opens the door, Rick is on the other side. Compare to his physical appearance, a country ravaged by war holds charm. His eyes are bright red and swollen. Rick passes his hand in his tousled hair and Michonne's eyes rest on the silver band, which does not belong on his finger. The golden band on her finger feels cooler. The question sits on the tip of her tongue, but her courage has fled. Rick grabs Michonne's waist, and he drags her out of her room. In a matter of seconds, he crushes her in a tight hug. Rick's hold on her waist is bruising, and he hides his face in the crook of his neck. The hatred, which he feels for her no longer matter. The wrongdoings are forgotten for a second. People only seek comfort where they previously found it.
"Rick?" Her voice trembles and she knows the answer to her question.
Rick's tears drench Michonne shoulder, and his wedding band painfully presses in the small of her back. Michonne's arms tightly circle Rick's neck.
"No…" She refuses the meaning behind his tears and his strange need for her.
"You're lying." She pleads with him, and he only presses her more against him.
"No…" She tries to escape his embrace, and Michonne tries until exhaustion.
Ultimately, Michonne's tears join Rick's one.
No one expects the awful news, but Richard senior's death is abrupt. Those are the words Pete Anderson used, and Rick has the statement engraved in his mind. A painless death during the night, he stopped to breathe, and Rick does not remember the rest of the conversation. He does not remember how he made his way to Michonne's door. Now, he is in her arm, and he has the words on the tip of his tongue. However, he can't say it. Once again, Michonne denies the truth, and he has to say it.
"Grandpa is dead…"