Time for Rey to make her decision...

When Rey opened her eyes the next morning, she knew she was dreaming. She knew, because she could see.

Sunlight streamed into the room, and she loved the fact that she could see it out of the corner of her eye instead of just feeling its heat. She blinked and focused on the TV along the wall. Why was there a TV there, she wondered? She knew there was a big flatscreen in the living room, but not in the bedroom.

"Morning, sweetheart!"

The sound of Poe's voice off to her side made joy flow through her, but then confusion set in when she found she couldn't turn her head to look at him. He came into view, hovering over her as she lay in the bed, a tired smile on his face.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked. He reached down to straighten the covers around her. "Are you hungry? I think we should move you to the chair today."

The bed underneath her moved and her upper body rose. Even more confused, she tried to move again, to look around her, to raise her hand.

She couldn't.

She could see, but she couldn't move.

Poe pulled the blankets off of her and leaned over, one arm reaching under her legs, the other going behind her back. He was going to pick her up! She could see the determination on his face, and also the pain. But he was still going to do it!

"No!" she shouted, but nothing came out.

Rey's eyes popped open, this time to the familiar darkness she had lived with for almost eight months now. She reached over and found Poe's warm body still close beside her, and her breath caught in relief. She felt his naked arm for a moment, listening to his steady breathing as he slept, trying to match her own breathing to his to slow hers down. Gradually, her racing heart also slowed.

With a heavy sigh, she sat up and slid out from underneath the sheet. She walked carefully to the closet, grabbing her short robe that she kept on the hanger farthest to the left, and pulled it on. Then she moved out of the bedroom, through the living room, and to the little kitchen/dining room. She sat on a chair at the table and took another breath, her hands still shaking.

She knew exactly what the dream had been about. It had been a 'what if' moment. What if she did the surgery and gained back her vision but lost everything else. She knew the odds of that happening were even longer than those of actually recovering her vision without any problems, but there was still a chance. Earlier, she had been less frightened of it happening, if only because she was so determined to see again. The risk was worth it to her. But what about Poe?

Her father had asked the question. What about others in her life? How would a failed surgery affect them? In the back of her mind, she had thought 'put me in the hospital until I die and go on with your life.' She didn't need to be a burden to anyone but the people paid to take care of her. But deep down she knew that wasn't what would happen. Poe's assurance that he would be by her side 'through it all. Forever,' took on more meaning. He wasn't lying. He would take care of her himself, even at the detriment of his own health and wellbeing. Because that's just who he was, someone who gave and gave, without any expectation of getting anything back. When he loved, he loved with everything in him.

How could she be so selfish as to not think about that? Even back when she had first lost her sight and had bemoaned the fact that she was a 'burden' to others, she was being selfish. It wasn't so much that the people caring for her were missing out on other aspects of their lives while taking care of her, but that she feared their resentment of her for keeping them from those things. She felt tears slide down her face as she felt guilt and humiliation overwhelm her.

Was she happy?

Poe's question from earlier resounded in her brain. Yes. Yes, she was happy. Happier than she had ever been in her entire life. She had the man of her dreams as her partner and she knew he loved her. She was riding and competing successfully and more than that she was enjoying it! She had independence here in this little house that she was overjoyed to call home, and a beautiful barn with horses galore right outside her front door, a literal childhood dream come true. She was writing and loving it, working at a job she tolerated if not enjoyed, but hoped would be only temporary, and she had every confidence that she would have a family of her own in the future. The idea of having children with Poe was exciting and beautiful. Despite her blindness, her life was amazing.

So why did she want to risk it? Why couldn't she do what her uncle suggested and wait a few years to see if this treatment became safer with more consistent positive results? Was the remembered desolation and hopelessness from her time right after the accident still there in her heart? If so, why?

"Rey?"

Poe's voice pulled her out of her reflections. He sounded worried.

"Hey!" she responded brightly. "What time is it?"

"The sun's barely up, so early," he answered, his voice a bit more relaxed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Just thinking."

He was silent for so long, she started to get worried. Finally, he said in a rush, "Wait right there! I'll be right back!"

Smiling to herself, she rubbed her face and ran her fingers through her hair. Who knew what she looked like. After being thoroughly debauched by Poe last night before going to sleep, she must look like a wanton this morning. She heard him come back into the room, his bare feet almost silent on the linoleum floor. Silent to all but her and her ultra-sensitive hearing. He pulled out one of the chairs and drew it closer to her before sitting in it.

"Okay," he started, huffing out a breath. "I was going to do this last night but obviously other things happened, so I decided to wait. But I just don't want to wait any longer." He gently grabbed her hand and placed a small object in it.

She brought up her other hand to feel it, immediately recognizing it as a ring. Her heart started racing again. She felt it carefully, feeling the smoothness of the band, the hardness of the gem in the center, and what felt like a dozen or more little gems surrounding it and along the top of the band. "Oh!" she breathed.

"It's white gold," Poe described it for her. "There's a diamond solitaire in the middle and several little diamonds around it in a horseshoe pattern."

Rey's fingers felt the pattern he described, and tears filled her eyes. "It's perfect," she whispered.

"It's yours," he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice. "Rey Skywalker, will you marry me?"

Sniffling now, Rey nodded. "Yes!" This was a question she didn't even have to think about. She had known the answer weeks ago. She had just been waiting for the right time to answer.

Poe's warm, calloused hands engulfed hers. He brought them up to his lips and kissed them, then took the ring from her and slid it onto her left ring finger. He cupped her face and brought his lips to hers. Laughing through her tears, she kissed him back, her heart squeezing a bit as she realized this made her final decision about the surgery even easier to answer.

She pulled back and licked her lips. "And as for that other question," she started as Poe's hands once more grasped hers. "My answer is no."

"No?" His voice was breathy.

"No, I'm not doing the surgery. It's not worth losing this. Nothing is worth losing this."

Poe squeezed her fingers with his own and let out a huge sigh. "Oh, thank God!" he gasped. "I wanted what was best for you but I was so scared!"

"I know!" she told him. "And I am so grateful you were with me on this, but yeah…" she paused. "Your question about whether I was happy made me think deeper. I am who I am now because of that accident, because of my blindness, and I like who I am. I don't like the person that only wants to see again. She is one-dimensional. She's selfish. She doesn't really know how to love. I don't want to be her anymore."

Poe pulled her into his arms, and she buried her face in his neck. "You aren't," he told her. "You may not see visually, but you see everything else. You are complex and caring and you love with everything in you. And I love you with everything in me."

Rey nuzzled his neck and pulled back. "We should probably get dressed and go tell Dad the news."

"Well, you're gonna tell him about the surgery, first," Poe told her, laughter in his voice. "That way he's in a good mood when you tell him we're getting married."

Rey laughed. "I don't think he'll be upset by this," she said, holding up her left hand and touching the ring. "I think he'll be glad you're making an honest woman of me."

Poe snorted.

"I love you, Poe," Rey told him.

"I love you, too, Rey," he said back.

"Let the future begin."

XXXXXX

See you next week for the epilogue!