Lucy had never not looked forward to Christmas, including all the festivities that accompanied it. She loved helping her dad with the tree and watching the Nutcracker Ballet with her mum and shopping for gifts with her sister. This year, those things still brought her a bit of joy, but it wasn't quite the same. And the party she had to attend at her aunt and uncles was the most dreaded festivity of all.

Lucy had never thought of herself as someone whose emotions could be dictated or manipulated by a relationship. A strained one in particular. But the idea of spending the evening avoiding both someone she was once incredibly close to and the negative feelings that surrounded him was more painful than she'd anticipated. The night couldn't end fast enough.

One spot of joy that couldn't help but bring a smile to Lucy's face was seeing her sister so happy. Ethan Longbottom had been around quite a bit during the holiday, and Lucy found she didn't really mind the subtle change in tradition it brought. Now Ethan was the one to help her dad carry the tree from the Muggle tree farm they always went to. He stayed up late with Molly and Lucy as they continued to work on the massive jigsaw puzzle they had to have finished by New Year's. Expanding their family to include Ethan hadn't bothered Lucy in the slightest.

Now, however, when her sister and her boyfriend left to go to the Potters' early and help finish decorating, Lucy chose to stay behind, wanting to have as little time as possible to run into the people she'd rather avoid.

Okay. Person.

And now that she was in the presence of said person at the fully-in-swing party, all she wanted was for it to be over as quickly as possible. She never expected to be thankful for the rather dramatic tone Lily was taking in regard to her own personal life as it served as a sufficient distraction from Lucy's.

"He's looking over here again, isn't he?" Lily asked, her question murmured into her glass of punch as she stared purposefully away from Caleb Wood. Lucy smiled and glanced towards her cousin's ex.

"Why don't you just talk to him?" Lucy asked, neglecting to confirm her cousin's suspicions. "Have you interacted with him at all tonight?"

Lily gave a subtle shake of her head, unable to keep from glancing towards Caleb herself, her cheeks tinging a slight pink after catching his eye. The smile she fought hard to hold back as she turned her eyes away from him was actually sort of sweet. Lucy could remember feeling similar things thanks to a different boy at this same party a year previously.

Now, glancing his way just caused pain.

It didn't help that he was currently chatting with the object of Lily's flustered state.

Thankfully, the amount of people attending the Potters' Christmas Eve party made it so that Lucy wasn't running out of people to talk to, even if she had to repeat the same responses to those whom she wasn't currently at school with.

Yes, classes are going well.

My favorite is still transfiguration.

No, I'm not sure what I want to do with it.

Yes, it's nice to be home.

No, I'm not seeing anyone.

It was annoying how often that last response was met with a bit of surprise and a glance towards a certain young wizard if he were in the vicinity. Had it been that common of an assumption that she'd date Bobby Finnigan?

Shows how much they knew.

"Come on, I left your gift upstairs," said Lily, linking her arm through her cousin's and leading her through the growing crowd. Lucy almost smiled at the ridiculousness of them walking straight past Bobby and Caleb without even glancing their way.

"And you're giving it to me now instead of at the Burrow tomorrow because…?"

"Because I need a break from feeling so on edge," said Lily as they strolled leisurely up the stairs.

"It's only been half an hour."

"Which is more than enough time to drive me crazy. You heard what he said when he got here, right?"

"Yes," Lucy said with a sigh as they reached her cousin's room. "And I'm sure I'm not the first person to tell you that you shouldn't be surprised that he still fancies you. We all know he never stopped."

Lily let out a huff and plopped down on her bed, Lucy joining her. "I know. I just…we did the whole dancing around each other thing already. I don't want to do it again. Especially if it doesn't go anywhere this time."

Lucy gave a hum and a nod in commiseration. "It would definitely be a lot simpler if he just spoke up and told you how he felt."

"Yeah," said Lily. Lucy gave her a sympathetic smile, but was surprised to see Lily turn to her with a curious expression. "What's up with you and Finnigan?"

"Oh," said Lucy, caught off guard and knowing her face was now an unattractive and splotchy red. She'd been hoping no one had really noticed anything was going on. "Well-"

A hesitant rap on the door pulled their attention, and Lucy could tell Lily was in just as much shock - if not more so - as she was to see Riley Clarke standing in the doorway.

For a few uncomfortable moments, no one said anything, Riley staring expectantly at Lily as if stating what she was there for would be a painful task she'd rather avoid. Luckily for her, Lily seemed to understand why she was there and hopped off the bed, made her way to her closet, and pulled out a dress.

"Here," she said, handing it to Riley before moving over to the dresser in the corner and rifling through a jewelry box. "I have a necklace I usually wear with-"

"This is fine," Riley cut her off, gesturing with the dark green dress.

"Ok," said Lily, abandoning her task and turning back to Riley. "Do you want shoes? Or any help with your hair or-"

"I'm good," said Riley, and with what looked like more of a grimace than a smile, she left, the sound of Al's bedroom door closing ringing out a second later.

"Wow," said Lucy. "Bit surprising, that."

"Very," said Lily, still watching the doorway Riley had walked through. "I wonder if…"

"What?" Lucy prompted.

"Come on, let's find Hugo," said Lily, walking briskly from the room. "I'll give you your gift tomorrow."

Lucy followed, a question on her tongue that wasn't answered until they caught up with Hugo in the dining room.

"What exactly did you say to Riley Clarke?" Lily asked him.

"Not much," said Hugo, his brow furrowed as he loaded a plate with food. "Why?"

"Because she's getting ready to come join the party."

"Oh," he said, his brow relaxing but not showing that he cared much otherwise as Lily recounted what had just happened.

"I sure as hell never said anything to convince her," said Lily. "Maybe Mum did."

Hugo shrugged, popping a sausage roll into his mouth. "Who knows. Maybe she thought I was dead fit and decided it was worth it to brave the masses."

Lily gave a derisive snort. "Yeah, that's definitely not what happened."

"Oi!" said Hugo, looking marginally offended.

"I'm not saying you're ugly," said Lily with an eye roll. "But you're definitely not her type."

"Says who?" Hugo challenged as they stopped at the drink table. Lily gave him a pointed look.

"Hugh, you're a Weasley and she wants absolutely nothing to do with our family. She probably can't see past that long enough to even consider whether she thinks you're fit or not."

Hugo shrugged, seeming unbothered as he grabbed a butterbeer. "Her loss," he said with a smirk.

"Ugh," said Lily, her arms crossed as she shot Hugo an annoyed look. "If I ever see you snogging a girl at a party again it'll be too soon."

Hugo rolled his eyes. "I'm not the one we should be worried about snogging someone."

"What's that mean?"

Hugo pointed past her with the hand clasping his bottle of butterbeer, and Lucy and Lily both turned, spotting Caleb and his dad in the line for food. And he didn't even look away when he was caught staring at Lily, choosing to offer her a smile instead. Lucy watched as her cousin struggled with herself for a moment, and then a reluctant smile graced her lips. As she whipped back around to face a smug Hugo, however, it vanished.

"Your teasing isn't helping," she practically snarled at him. Hugo barely had time to open his mouth to respond before Lily was stomping off into the kitchen.

"You could ease up, you know," said Lucy, grabbing her own butterbeer.

"Where's the fun in that?" Hugo asked with a grin. "Speaking of snogging, what's with you and-"

"Don't," Lucy cut him off, feeling exhausted before the conversation even started and looking imploringly up at her cousin. "Just…please, don't, okay?"

Whatever was in her eyes seemed to be enough for Hugo, because his expression grew tender and then he was pulling her into a one-armed hug, his drink pressed against her back.

"Sorry," he mumbled into the top of her head. "I'm guessing this means he's the one being a prat about things."

His words gave Lucy pause, and she pulled back to look up at him. "He hasn't said anything?"

Hugo shook his head.

Well, she hadn't exactly expected him to. Hugo might've been one of his best friends but he was also her cousin. However, the fact that Hugo wasn't aware of who was causing who pain - even though it arguably went both ways - made her curious to the point where the question tumbled out of her before she could fully think it through.

"So he's not dating Dara Finley?"

Hugo's eyes nearly popped out of his skull. "What the hell gave you that idea?"

Lucy crossed her arms and looked down at her feet. "Well, they have been spending a lot of time together. Haven't they?"

Her cousin looked thoughtful for a moment before he shrugged. "I mean, I just figured it was because you weren't around as much. But are you saying that's what started all this?"

"Yes," said Lucy before thinking better of it. "I mean, maybe? I don't really know, to be honest. He just…one day he just stopped."

"Stopped what?"

Lucy had to force herself to keep from crying as she looked up at her cousin. "Stopped being my friend."

The look of sympathy Hugo gave her was enough to have her looking down at her feet again, hastily wiping away the traitorous tear that escaped down her cheek.

"Hey," said Hugo, his voice soft as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "If he's going to treat your friendship like that, he's not worth it. Okay?"

Lucy nodded and leaned into his embrace, hoping there were enough people in the room for no one to notice the state she was in.

"Hey, you two up for some Snaps?" Caleb asked as he approached them. While Hugo responded positively, Lucy shook her head.

Another person Bobby had been spending a lot of time with was Caleb, which made sense seeing as she'd been consistently in the presence of Lily. So in all likelihood, where Caleb was, Bobby Finnigan would be too.

"Luce, you don't have to avoid-"

"I just don't want to," she said, trying to give Hugo a reassuring smile. "You go on. I'll find Lily."

Hugo hesitated for a moment but then nodded.

"You could always see if Lily wants to play too," said Caleb, going for nonchalance but unable to hide the eagerness in his eyes. Lucy let out an annoyed huff, resentment and frustration winning out over everything else.

"Seriously? Why can't you boys just grow a pair and actually make a move on the girl you fancy!"

Caleb gaped at her, Hugo looked impressed, and Lucy barely had a moment to catch sight of Bobby tentatively approaching from behind Caleb before she turned and marched into the kitchen.

A muffled scream escaped her as the door swung shut behind her, her fists clenched as she wished she could simply wail at the top of her lungs and let everything she'd been holding in for months come pouring out. But she contented herself with deep breathing, attempting to calm down and finally spotting Lily leaning against the kitchen island, a pint of ice cream in front of her and a spoon in her mouth.

Lucy felt a great appreciation and love for her cousin as they simply looked at each other, feeling the solidarity they shared and not needing any words. And then Lily opened a drawer and pulled out another spoon, presenting it to her cousin as she came and stood across from her.

"Fucking boys," Lily grumbled as she slid the ice cream towards Lucy. And really, what was there left to do but nod in agreement?

Lily had managed to avoid all opportunities for Caleb Wood to talk to her by the time the party was drawing to a close. Of course, her brother insisted that they have an after party full of music and booze due to the lack of snow, but seeing as Lily was one of the few present who had yet to turn seventeen, it wasn't nearly as fun for her. Especially since her brother had made a point to threaten anyone who so much as thought about giving her alcohol.

It wasn't until Charlotte managed to swipe a bottle of firewhiskey that things actually became enjoyable.

"We're going to get caught," Lucy whispered as a giggling Charlotte poured each of them a generous cup in the safety of Lily's dad's study.

"Not if we're quick," said Charlotte, downing her drink in one go, which led to some fairly comical spluttering and coughing.

"Have you actually ever had any before?" Lily asked as she sniffed at the whiskey.

"Once," Charlotte said, her voice a bit strained and her words followed up by a cough.

"Here goes nothing," said Lucy, before copying Charlotte and draining the whole thing in one go. The other two looked at her in mild surprise when she only gave one, soft cough and said, "Not too bad."

Charlotte was now giggling and had slightly glassy eyes as Lily quickly shot back her own drink, nearly choking on it as the door to her father's study burst open at that exact moment.

"There you are," said Louis while Lucy pounded a coughing Lily on the back. "Is that…? Oh, James is going to be so pissed-"

"He shouldn't have thrown a party with the intention of getting people drunk if he didn't want his sister partaking," Charlotte argued, staring Louis down and taking another swig straight from the bottle.

"Fucking hell, give me that," he snapped, snatching the bottle out of Charlotte's hands before looking at Lily. "James is looking for you."

"Ugh," said Lily. "Why is he being so annoying about this? I'm sure he drank before he was seventeen."

"Yeah, well, I'd rather this party not get ruined by you two erupting into a squabble," said Louis, holding the bottle out of reach as Charlotte attempted to snatch it again. "So we're going to pretend I didn't find you with alcohol. Just don't get too close to your brother or else he'll smell it on you."

Lily rolled her eyes and Charlotte grumbled in annoyance as they followed Louis out of the room, Lucy somberly trailing behind them.

"You're such a spoilsport," Charlotte shouted as they rejoined the party, the music that Fred had hooked up nearly drowning her out. Louis had the audacity to look amused at her words rather than apologetic.

"Your brother isn't here to keep you in line," he pointed out. "You can get as plastered off your arse as you want."

Charlotte was unable to respond to this as it was that moment they all realized what they'd walked back in on, and Lily watched in amazement as Riley Clarke shouted at her cousin.

"I can leave if I want to!" she insisted, wrenching her wrist out of Rose's grasp.

"Riley, please," Rose placated. "Just stick around for-"

"Shove off, Weasley! People seem to be forgetting this, but I can make my own fucking choices!"

Most everyone in the room was staring as Riley Clarke shouted at Rose, who looked rattled but determined to stand her ground. "What's so horrible about us that you can't just -"

"It's not all about you, Weasley!" Riley snapped. "Is your ego too big for you to fucking understand that?"

Rose closed her eyes and took a calming breath. "I just think it would be good for you if-"

"You don't know a thing about what's good for me," Riley cut in, no longer having to yell as someone had turned down the music. "Do us all a favor and stop pretending you do."

Riley was marching up the stairs a moment later, not even faltering as she swiped the bottle of firewhiskey out of Louis' hands before marching up the stairs and disappearing down the hall, the sound of Al's bedroom door banging closed making Lily give a startled jump.

The deafening silence was mercifully broken up a moment later by Freddie turning up the music and singing at the top of his lungs.

"Bloody hell, that was ugly," said Louis, watching along with Lily and Lucy as Scorpius led Rose out onto the patio. "Riley Clarke is someone I don't think I've ever seen pushed around. It's amazing that Rose kept her down here as long as she did."

Lily could only nod in response, the alcohol beginning to make her a bit fuzzy. It was strangely comforting to know that she wasn't the only one that had failed when it came to Riley Clarke. She still had no idea who'd even succeeded in getting her downstairs in the first place.

It was probably Rose or Scorpius. More likely the latter. He'd been able to get her to come down to dinner, after all.

Oh well. She wasn't going to waste a perfectly good party worrying over Riley Clarke. Not when it was much more suited to her continual endeavor to avoid her ex boyfriend.

"Hey, Lil."

Speak of the devil. Damn it. This wasn't going very well.

"Hey," she said, giving Caleb a small smile as he stood next to Louis. She didn't let her gaze linger, looking around and realizing that Charlotte and Lucy had both abandoned her. Where was Hugo? He'd rescue her, right?

"Wanna dance?"

Her eyes were wide as they snapped to Caleb, just in time to catch the back of Louis' head as he, too, abandoned her.

What good was family if they weren't there to protect you from unwanted conversations with your ex?

Wait, had he really just asked her to dance?

The party had recovered from Riley's dramatic exit, and many couples had transformed the middle of the room into a dance floor. Roxanne and Lorcan were practically holding each other up, their eyes a bit glassy. James kept spinning a laughing Violet, and Ethan was pulling a beaming Molly into the throng. Dom appeared to be trying to coax Lysander into joining her over by Fred, who'd cast the sonorous charm and was attempting to persuade people to volunteer for karaoke.

Family was also good for entertainment.

Feeling trepidatious, unsteady, and even a bit giddy, Lily turned back to Caleb, who'd moved closer and was looking down at her in anticipation, his blue eyes clear and far too easy to get lost in. And he seemed decidedly more sober than she was.

"I…I've had a bit to drink," she found it necessary to tell him. Caleb gave her a soft, affectionate smile.

"I know. Are you feeling okay?"

Lily nodded, knowing she probably shouldn't hop on a broomstick, but feeling in control enough to make sound choices. Like to not hop on a broomstick.

It was deciding whether or not dancing with Caleb Wood was a sound choice that had her hesitating.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his brow furrowing a bit in concern. "We can sit down if you'd rather. Or get some fresh air?"

Ha! And let him have the opportunity to snuggle up to her under the stars? Just them and nothing but each other for warmth? Seeing the stars twinkle in his beautifully blue eyes?

Okay. Maybe she was a little less clear-headed than she'd thought.

"Fresh air sounds nice."

WHAT?! Oh, her traitorous, whiskey-addled tongue.

But Caleb was grinning and extending his hand. How could she not take it?

Everyone was too wrapped up in being led in song by Fred and now Dom - who'd joined him in standing on kitchen chairs in front of the fire - to notice the front door crack open just enough for the two of them to slip through. Caleb shut it softly behind them as Lily moved to stand by the railing on the front porch. She only had to worry about feeling cold for a few moments before warmth fell over her, and she gave Caleb a grateful smile as he stowed his wand and came to stand beside her.

She squashed the disappointment that sprung up about the lack of need to snuggle for warmth.

The silence was peaceful, despite the weight of it. The land surrounding her family home was wide and rolling, eventually reaching a wooded area that wrapped all the way around and was home to many of their previous Christmas Eve snowball fights. The sound of a hooting owl, a crisp breeze, and the faint trickle of a creek that she knew was located somewhere to her right brought a calm to the moment that Lily desperately needed.

"Have you been avoiding me?" Caleb asked, his voice soft as if he didn't want to disrupt the peacefulness of the atmosphere.

"No," said Lily, knowing she didn't sound convincing.

"Right."

He sounded disappointed. Either because he believed her and thought she just simply hadn't even thought to spend time with him tonight, or because he knew she was lying.

"I just don't know what to say," she admitted, her gaze still fixed on the line of trees beyond the yard.

"I want to try again."

Lily thought she'd never seen him look more sincere as she whirled her head around to stare up at him. "What?"

He ran a nervous hand along the back of his neck. "I'm…I want to try again. I haven't gotten anywhere close to over you. And I don't want to. So…"

She just stared at him, unsure if the fluttering in her stomach meant joy or fear. Or maybe both.

"And I'm sorry," he said, his eyes focused on his hand that was resting on the railing, picking absentmindedly at some peeling paint. "It might've been the right call for us to end things, but I should've tried harder to fix things before it got to that. And I know how much I hurt you. Especially if it was anywhere close to how painful it was for me. I'd completely understand if you don't trust me or…"

Along with hiding from Caleb all night, Lily had also been avoiding the exact reason why she didn't want to talk to him. But now faced with a very real and honest conversation, she couldn't hide from it.

"I don't want to get hurt again," she said in a near whisper. "I can't do it again."

The pain in Caleb's eyes was so open and vulnerable that she nearly reached out to hold him. Any part of him. But there was still that question of trust. And as much as she wanted things to be the way they used to be, when she trusted him to catch her and be honest and simply there, she couldn't do that. Not yet.

The very idea scared her more than anything ever had before.

"I understand," he said, his gaze back on his hands which were now tightly gripping the rail. "Of course you moved on. Which you should've. I don't know why I-"

"Wait, Caleb…" She let out a heavy sigh, rubbing tiredly at her eyes. They were squeezed tightly shut as she forced out her next words. "I didn't move on. I just…" She tried desperately to fight the tears welling in her eyes, shaking her head as she let herself actually feel all the pain that had been there since the summer. "I can't go through all that again. I can't do it. I can't do it."

Inhaling the familiar scent of him as he pulled her close was a comforting balm that brought her back to secluded moments in random classrooms, in the Room of Requirement, in hidden corners of the library, in the common room after everyone else had gone to bed. And there was nothing left in her to stop the tears after that.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his own voice heavy with emotion as he held her against his chest. "I'm so, so sorry."

Lily choked back a sob, her fists bunching up the front of his shirt as her forehead rested against his collarbone. "I know," she managed, followed up by taking a deep, calming breath. "I'm sorry, too."

A/N: It's been forever, but I hope you enjoy this update! I have most of the next chapter completed as well as the next chapter for Leap of Faith. Hoping to update both again soon!