Chapter 12 - The Best of Intentions

Summer, 1984

Charlie snuffs in Sephiroth's asleep face. He frowns and curls onto his side trying to get away from him. He's in the middle of a happy dream. Charlie crawls on top of him and the wet tongue rubs against his face until he yawns and stretches. The ground is damp against his back. The sun comes through the leaves into his eyes. The book that he was reading crunches under him. Mariella returned to the mansion yesterday but decided that she is too tired to start lessons today. He's already had a week off from her going to Midgar but another day laying out in the yard is sweet and special.

The dog flops down on his stomach and rubs his head in his hands. Sephiroth automatically scratches behind his collar. Charlie snuffs in his neck in appreciation. He watches the road beyond the gate. Professor Gast hasn't returned. There are no emails. He has Landon check every day. He says over and over that Professor Gast's work has been overwhelming. Still, the silence is strange. Professor Gast usually warns him if he is going to be gone. Landon gets angry every time he asks. Without Mariella around, Sephiroth doesn't ask anymore.

Still, he has been writing in his journal. It strengthens him inside. No matter what happens, he will be able to remember these times that are so important to him. The pages fill and fill with his thoughts this last month. He needs to record something for today. He yawns as he weighs the importance of what he is learning or what is happening in the book.

The tree chats above him in the breeze. The leaves are back after winter and he can't wait to eat the apples that will be on the tree later. They could be starting to form now. He pushes the dog off and looks up. The branches don't show any fruit. His palms press against the trunk and he tries to imagine his energy going into the tree.

Nothing.

He smiles and imagines that it is true.

"Sephiroth."

"Yes?" He turns, still pushing against the tree. Landon stands in the middle of the doorway.

"I need you. Come into the living room." His voice is soft and he disappears inside before Sephiroth could ask more.

Charlie barks and runs ahead of him as he hurries inside. At the door, he brushes the grass off his shirt and scrapes some of the mud from his shoes before following. The mansion has a different feel the last few days. He craves to be outside as if being inside is going to suffocate him. He's happy that winter is over. Once both Mariella and Landon are good again, he plans to ask them if they could go to Midgar. So many of the pictures that Professor Gast has sent him look fake.

He tries to think about all the things that Professor Gast might be able to show him. Maybe he could take a day off work? Would that be asking too much?

The stairs to upstairs stretch out before him as he hurries. Mariella is still asleep upstairs. She's taken a nap all afternoon. Sephiroth hasn't seen her. She's been a ghost in the corner of his eyes.

Landon stands by the couch. The medical bag sits next to him. He's stiff like his SOLDIER toy upstairs by his bedside. Sephiroth pauses. Charlie is already in the room, wagging his tail at him.

"Come on." Landon's face smiles. "Let's make this quick. It looks like we are behind on your vaccinations."

"Oh." That is easy. Those are quick pinches and then he was on his way. It rained yesterday so the room smells like wet ash from the fireplace. Landon digs through his bag and then places pillows on the couch. Sephiroth looks at the spot that Gast sat in and worries. Charlie paces around before settling in his bed by the couch. He checks his clothes. The loose shirt and pants should be simple enough to shift around as needed.

"Is it in the butt again?" He asks as he sits on the edge of the couch. Landon pulls up their fireplace stool and settles on it. His eyebrows draw in.

"This one is a little special. We're putting it directly in your vein. So it will be like a blood draw." He puts one of the pillow behind Sephiroth. The other sits forgotten further down from him.

He nods and rolls up his sleeve. "Do you know when Mariella might get up? Do you think that Professor Gast got the answers to his questions? The ones that have to do with my blood?"

The questions come out nervous and without his approval. Landon's lips tighten so Sephiroth looks away.

His skin is pale in the light. He can see the lines that run up close against the surface. Landon hurries with small glass bottles and a syringe. Sephiroth moves his fingers up and down his exposed arm. It makes his hair stand up and tickles. The air is strange in here. Something is wrong again.

"Yes." Landon's response is slow but Sephiroth stares at him in surprise.

"Really? Was it a good answer?"

Landon's voice is hard. "No."

Disappointment fills him. He leans back against the pillow. "Is Professor Gast mad at me?"

"I don't think so." Landon shakes the bottle, puts it upside down and plunges the needle inside.

"Well, everything is going to be okay then." He strains to look out the window. He doesn't flinch as the plastic cord goes around his arm. It bites and gnaws. It pulls tight against his muscles. His fingers go numb.

"Yes. Everything is going to be just fine."

Sephiroth's attention goes back to Landon. He sounds muffled like he's recovering from a bad cold. His nose is pink and his fingers tremble against his arm. Landon's eyes are hidden as he works the syringe in his right hand. Sephiroth shifts against the pillow.

The needle stops and the point brushes against his skin. Landon looks up. His eyes are hollow and lost. "I know I haven't been the warmest with you but the mako in the basement? Hojo forced me to do it."

"…oh." Sephiroth isn't sure about these words. He looks past the doctor to see if Mariella is up. He hopes she is there. The hand is firm on his arm. No one is at the door. He's trapped on the couch. Something rises in the back of his throat. It's fear, he realizes as the needle goes deep in his arm.

The plunger rises, blood fills the barrel and then depresses. The green liquid flashes red and disappears. His spine is a rod as he tries to sense the strangeness inside of him. He feels absolutely nothing. It is just another shot that pinches. His heart beats in his chest hard for no reason but a smile comes over his face as he wants to laugh at himself. Landon's hands withdraw and he sits back with a little half-smile.

Nothing. He's normal. He's afraid for nothing. Landon wouldn't hurt him. He said that. It's just another shot.

"After this is over, I'll get you a candy from the stash. The black ones. I know you like those the best," Landon says.

"I'd like-ah."

The burning cuts through his fingers. His arm lights on fire and then the feeling disappears like a candle going out. His eyes are wide as he looks at Landon. He wants to say more but he can't. The air in his lungs comes out in a puff. The room disappears into fuzz behind him. Something is wrong. Something is happening that isn't supposed to.

He reaches out to Landon. He's made a mistake. Sephiroth has to tell him so he could stop it. His hand goes halfway up before it stops on its own. It shakes in the air. It's gone numb. His fingers twitch and go slack. Only his heart screaming in his ears tells him that it hasn't stopped as well.

Landon sits there, sad and quiet as Sephiroth struggles to breathe. He knows. Cold fear washes over him. This isn't a mistake. He's done this on purpose. He is there to hurt him. Sweat clams the back of his shirt. Sephiroth leans back like a falling tower. He wobbles and then the doctor comes forward. One hand wraps around his back and the other goes behind his neck. In this strange hug, he is placed laying down on the couch. He can't move.

"This makes it easier, Sephiroth. I promise. You'll barely feel anything now. Just relax. It'll be done soon," He whispers in his ear.

Sephiroth screams. His mouth opens but nothing comes out. He can't even swallow. The air passes out silently. Only his lungs struggle to suck fresh air inside him. Whimpering sounds make it out. Landon twitches but turns away. Black dots stain what he can see. His legs are at a strange angle on the couch, almost half folded under himself.

Landon fishes in his bag. Another clear bottle comes out. It has a red stripe taped around it. Landon pops the dirty needle off and sets it aside. Charlie still pants. He hasn't noticed anything off. He wants him too. He needs Charlie to bark, to cry, to make noise for him. He needs someone to save him.

"I suppose I don't need to be this clean but my old professors would kill me if I didn't follow procedure," He says to fill the silence and the sounds of Sephiroth's raspy breath.

Sephiroth is alone in the room trapped in his own fear. He can't move. The air touches his exposed neck and arm. He's vulnerable. Nothing moves when he tells it to. He's never had this happen. His left eye is leaking, tears rolling out unnoticed by the doctor.

Landon replaces the needle and then draws the liquid out of the container. The new medicine lowers out of the bottle and into the syringe. This one is clear. He squints at the measurement and then draws another quarter of an inch down. He gives Sephiroth a practical eye as he sets down the almost empty glass bottle. The tape is fuzzy in his eyes. He continues to sway in focus but sees a "2" scrawled across the red.

Landon's fingers on his neck scare him so deeply he twitches.

"Okay. I can't give you the second shot with a heart going as fast as a train. It'll burn through too fast. Calm down." Landon's eyes close and Sephiroth feels the vein thrum against his finger. Sephiroth struggles to find the syringe but it is gone.

He has to keep his heartbeat up. The panic. He focuses on it. The room is quiet. The stairs are silent. Usually, they creak when someone comes down. His tongue is thick in his mouth. He desperately wishes to take a deep breath and yell but he can't. He can't do any of it. He blinks and more tears stream away. He's helpless. He's scared.

"Oh Sephiroth," Landon says. His right hand appears empty. He wipes the tears away. "They didn't give us any choice. This is the only path. I promise I'm making this as easy as I can."

The touch is solid and strong. The fingers brush through his hair and he can't help the way that the affection affects him. It is soft and sweet. The hand cups along the side of his face. Even now, he's desperate for that comfort. Sephiroth sees Landon struggling to hold back his own emotion. The drug eats under him like gravel slipping underfoot. He falls with no way to stop himself. The drum in his ears dies away.

"There we go," Landon sighs and reaches for the syringe. It has been Sephiroth's stomach. The light weight meant nothing to him but his entire world. Sephiroth swallows and tries to fight as Landon takes his limp arm again. The practiced fingers tie the plastic over his forearm and he digs around in the fleshy inside.

"What are you doing, Landon?" Mariella's voice is low and dangerous. It is beautiful. Sephiroth strains to see her standing behind them.

Landon stops and twists.

"What are you doing?" Her voice rises as she walks forward.

He stands and puts up a hand. The syringe is left wobbling on his chest. That doesn't hold Sephiroth's attention.

It isn't what causes the tears to come faster.

"Mariella, they told us-" He says.

"-No! They didn't tell us to do anything." She's screaming at him.

Charlie starts barking in the background.

There is a gun tucked in the back of Landon's pants.

Charlie runs in circles, excited.

"Don't try to stop me. They told me to stop you. You are too emotionally connected."

She moves forward. He shoves her back.

"You can't do this."

"You couldn't do this so I am doing it."

"Oh my god. Is he dead?"

"No. Not yet."

"Please Landon. I don't know what information you read but it isn't right."

"The order came down while you were sleeping an hour ago."

"That's not-"

"Just leave. It will be over soon." He starts to turn away. The conversation is over. She runs at him.

Landon turns quickly. The gunshot rings clear and true. It hurts his ears. Sephiroth doesn't see her fall but hears her scream and the body falls hard. It echoes on the wood floors and is muffled by the rug. A splatter colors the white wall behind her.

"Gods. I'm so sorry," Landon's voice chokes on itself. He disappears out of sight, towards where she had fallen. The tears come so hard that they pool in Sephiroth's eyes. He wants to rub them away, to push up, to run to her, to cover her with his own body. He chokes on a sob. His chest wobbles and falls. Everything stings. It burns to be this sad.

"Fuck, Landon." Mariella's voice is weak. Mariella is dying. She tries to say something more but it cuts off into a gurgle and stops. He's quivering. His teeth chatter together. He manages to move his hand but it falls back against the couch. Charlie comes over, sniffing him. The wet nose pushes against his cheek.

Landon turns around and rubs his face, smearing her blood on his cheek and nose. He doesn't look at Sephiroth. He is cold. Impassive. The path has been chosen and there is no stopping him now. The gun clicks on the floor as he kneels down next to the couch. Sephiroth can't breathe. Charlie gets pushed aside.

Landon's fingers press into his neck and he shakes his head.

Was she dead now? Was she still struggling to stay awake across the room? Sephiroth dies inside to move, to run over to her and to hold her. Maybe he could even get in the village fast enough to get an adult to help.

He wishes that Professor Gast would walk in the door and save him.

Landon draws more clear liquid out of the second bottle.

A finger digs in his forearm.

Sephiroth watches blood drip down the wall as the needle goes into his arm. It swallows him into darkness.

Whoops.

How are we all feeling?

Thanks for reading as always. -Quin