Marinette didn't sleep at all that night. Nothing was comfortable and her mind was restless, playing over every possible scenario from every angle.

When the sun rose and it was time for school, she wasn't sure if the nausea she felt was from the lack of sleep or from knowing she would have to face Adrien again.

She stayed home, but it didn't make her feel any better. Between dealing with Tikki's cheerful encouragement, Alya's worried texts, and her parents' smothering concern (she must have looked even worse than she felt), it wasn't a very restorative morning. Even the sunlight seemed extra harsh, determined to keep her awake and disoriented until early afternoon, when she finally shoved her head under her pillow. It was stuffy and claustrophobic, but she was finally too tired for it to matter.

A banging sound woke her from a nightmare, breathing hard, pinpricks of tears in the corners of her eyes, fists rubbing into her temples. And reminding herself that Adrien wasn't dead.

A knock above her made her jump, and the concerned face of Chat Noir made her chest squeeze tight.

"Can I come in?" he asked as he pulled the skylight open. "Sorry I woke you, but you looked-"

Marinette grabbed his wrist and pulled him down onto the bed with her, and when he wrapped her in a hug, she finally felt like she could breathe for the first time in days.

"It's okay," he whispered into her hair. But it wasn't. Nothing was as it should be. Everything felt out of place.

She pulled away from him, trying to get some mental distance more than physical distance. (She hated both.)

"Are you okay?" He cupped her face, letting the pad of his thumb run over her cheek. "You weren't at school, but Alya said she didn't know what was going on. I was worried you were still upset about yesterday." Like he'd suddenly realized what he was doing, he dropped his hand from her face. "Sorry," he said. "About everything. I don't want to ruin anything. You're important to me even if you-"

They were kissing before Marinette even realized she'd moved. Something in the way he'd looked at her, the tenderness of his fingers as he touched her face, the overwhelming sense of wrongness when he pulled away had propelled her forward, until her lips brushed his again and again, until her hands found his hair and pulled him closer, until he leaned into her and returned the kiss.

For a few seconds, the broken pieces she was trying so hard to hold together felt like they were in the right places. Everything stilled and settled. Their breathing was quiet, like the brush of her shirt against the front of his suit. Warmth followed wherever he touched her, her neck, her shoulder, down her back and to her hip as he pulled her closer. He pulled away from her mouth long enough to kiss her cheek and murmur her name.

The last time she'd heard Chat Noir call her Marinette… Visions of white flashed behind her eyes.

"You need to leave." Her hands were already on his chest. She pushed lightly and he pulled back.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I– I can't– Please, just go."

"Marinette?" His grip on her waist slipped. His hair had flopped into his eyes, but she resisted the urge to push it out of the way for him. "Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"

"No. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

He nodded uncertainly, unconvinced.

"I can't," Marinette finished after he'd left. "I can't stand to hurt you, but I can't figure out how not to."

She didn't get until tomorrow to collect her thoughts. There was a scheduled patrol that night. Light rain washed out most of the life of Paris. People stayed inside and windows were shut against the weather. Everything seemed muted, so it was a nice match to how their route went that night.

It had only been 24 hours since Ladybug's confession to Adrien, and he was surely still confused about Marinette's indecisiveness. She didn't think she'd been part of a longer or more awkward silence in her life. She couldn't end it, though. That would mean she would have to take back everything she'd said last night, to preserve her hope of avoiding a disaster.

Chat Noir broke the silence first.

"We need to discuss something," he said when they reached the arched roof of the Musée d'Orsay. The whole thing was made of hundreds of panels of glass. Soft light from inside lit him up from below, casting shadows on his face.

"What?" Ladybug said, though she knew perfectly well what.

"My identity's been compromised. I know, I'm sorry." He held up his hands in apology. "Yesterday's akuma trapped me with one of my classmates and I didn't have a choice."

That wasn't at all what she'd been expecting, which made it all the more a relief.

"So," he continued when she said nothing. "What do we do about it?"

They couldn't be together, and she'd messed up, but maybe there was still a way to salvage this. Ladybug needed more time to think, and she was grateful that he waited patiently for her answer.

"Do you think she'll tell anyone?"

"No, no. She's very trustworthy, but how did you know it was a girl?"

"Oh, uh, I just guessed." Ladybug blushed at her mistake. His eyesight was good, but she hoped he wouldn't notice past the way her damp hair stuck to her face.

"So I guess we don't need to worry about that," she rushed on. "That's good."

"You're not going to make me swear her to secrecy or something?"

"Uh, yes, of course." It's what she would do with anyone else, after all. She'd have to stop being so careless if she didn't want to risk her own identity. "Do that. Talk to her tomorrow, and then we can figure it out from there."

It was a delaying tactic, and a flimsy one, but she was still exhausted from her broken sleep and couldn't think of anything better.

"Great," he said, toeing the glass and looking down at the distorted sculptures below them. "I guess that's really all I needed to say, so I'll see you later."

That wasn't all. But Ladybug was too much of a coward right then to call him back. There was still time later.

The next morning, Adrien had a plan. One, wait for Marinette to show up late to school as usual. Two, play it cool until their lunch break (easier said than done). Three, make sure she was okay. That was the most important step. After he knew he hadn't hurt her, they could talk about identities and feelings and figure out what to do. He hoped she'd been only surprised after the akuma attack. It was a lot of take in, but avoiding him at school yesterday wasn't promising, even if she had kissed him afterward. He tried to keep his hopes in check. Making sure she was okay was the first priority. If she was okay, then that would be enough for him.

The methodical plan was shot down as soon as he stepped out of the limo. Marinette was sitting on the front step, early and waiting for him. She hopped up when she saw him, coming to his side before he'd taken half a dozen steps in her direction.

"Can we talk?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course," he said. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Not here." Marinette spun on her heel and marched around the corner of the building. A quick peek told him there wasn't anyone close enough to hear.

"I promise I won't tell anyone," she said. "You don't need to worry about that."

"I wasn't," he said quickly. "But I did want to check on you. What happened, it was a lot."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to freak out. I'm good."

"Good." Less than a minute into the school day and he'd already hit all three steps of his plan. It was a world record for his productivity, but he felt lost. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear what she might say about how she felt, but Marinette gripped the hem of her shirt and continued.

"I really like you, but–"

"Really?" If he'd been in costume, he was sure his cat ears would have perked up.

"Yes, but I don't know that it would be safe for us, you know, dating."

"I'd protect you," he said. Now that she'd given him the smallest hope, he wasn't going to let it slip away.

Marinette opened her mouth to argue, closed it, then started again. "Okay, aren't there rules? Aren't you not allowed to date?"

"Not that I know of."

"What about Ladybug? Shouldn't you clear it with her first?"

Hearing her name was like an electric shock. A tangle of live wires that he didn't want to touch right now. "I did, actually." He rubbed the back of his neck, not if he was embarrassed by the admission or just by thinking about his partner. "She said I should ask you out."

Marinette's face fell.

Her objections had been so quick, like she'd had them prepared in advance. Heartache smothered his hope.

"I… I think I need some time to adjust," she said.

Her final excuse had failed. Maybe she did really like him, or maybe she only liked him enough that she didn't want to hurt his feelings by telling him no.

"Is that really it? Or are you just trying to let me down easily?" he asked bitterly.

Marinette considered, then pushed herself up on her toes and kissed his cheek, soft and slow. "I've been in love with you for a long time. But you're right. It's a lot. And there's a lot that could happen."

"You love me?" Embers of his hope started sparking again under the ashes.

She shrugged and turned away, watching the stream of people entering the building. "Have almost since we met." She peeked back at him, a blush rising across her face.

Adrien grabbed her hand, so he wouldn't float away. "I don't mind waiting," he said. "To be with you, I mean. If you need time, you can have it."

"Thank you," she said, voice quiet, and she pulled her hand out of his.

Marinette had gotten herself well and truly stuck, and she didn't know what to do.

The only way to protect Adrien (and the rest of the world, but he was much more important) was to stay apart. She didn't want to take back her confession. She didn't think she could stand breaking up with him. But she also knew she couldn't make him wait for her forever while she "adjusted." Adrien was smart. He would know something else was wrong, and she couldn't afford to have him asking questions she couldn't answer.

As soon as the final bell rang, she ducked out of the room, past Alya's inviting wave and Adrien's politely hurt smile. A run was what she needed. The wind in her face and the rhythmic push and pull of her yoyo would give her time to clear her mind.

She didn't expect to be out for over an hour. Or to go past Adrien's house. And she definitely didn't expect him to be waiting at the window, like he'd been hoping all afternoon to see her. But when he called to her, she couldn't help but stop.

"I should have said this earlier, but I'm sorry I can't reciprocate your feelings right now."

"What?" She panicked for a split second before remembering that he was talking to Ladybug, not Marinette. "It's fine."

Adrien stuffed his hands in his pockets but didn't say anything, and there wasn't any way for her to convince him that she really wasn't heartbroken without relying on her terrible acting skills. This was so complicated.

Though this gave her an idea. No one else knew how complicated her situation was. "Could I ask you for some advice? About boy problems?"

Adrien raised an eyebrow and nodded.

"Okay so–" She swung her legs over the edge of his window and sat down on the ledge, her feet dangling above his carpet. "The guy I've liked for a long time confessed his feelings for me, and I still like him, but I'm torn. It's dangerous for us to be together. What do I do?"

"Go out with him," Adrien said without hesitation. His face was blank, but his voice was firm.

"But it's dangerous," she repeated. "What if something happens? There are so many things that can go wrong."

"Why is it okay for me to date, but not you? That's a little hypocritical."

Ladybug kicked her heel against his wall, unsure of how much to say. "It's not. With him though, it's different. Worse."

"Why?"

Pale blue eyes. Bone white hair. A fractured boy.

"Ladybug?" Adrien reached for her arm, concern splashed across his face.

The breath was cold in her lungs. "I don't want to lie to him about being Ladybug," she sidestepped.

Adrien stepped back, considered her reaction, and then shrugged. "So tell him the truth. The classmate who found me out is the same girl I like. It might take a while for him to get used to the idea, but I'm sure he won't hold being the Savior of Paris against you."

The ghostly echo of her second rule, don't let Adrien find out my identity, rattled in the back of her mind. If only it could be that simple. Then they could both be happy.

He turned so he could lean against the window next to her, his face angled away so she couldn't read his expression.

Her voice caught in her throat.

He wasn't as over her as he pretended, and now she'd confessed and given him everything he'd ever wanted to hear too late, only to take it all back by asking him for help with "another boy." All she wanted was for him to be happy, but she couldn't seem to stop hurting him.

"Adrien," she started. She reached for him, hand hovering, still undecided on how best to comfort him.

A shrill alarm sounded from Adrien's phone, and the decision to do nothing was made for her.

"Akuma," Adrien said, pushing away from the wall and pulling out his phone. His back was still to her. "About two blocks from the National Library."

She pulled her hand back in, resting her fist against her heart. "Guess that's my cue to leave."

"Our cue." A flash of bright green light left her blinking as he transformed. "Sorry," Chat Noir said, when he saw her surprise. "I've wanted to do that for a while."

Ladybug shook her head and rolled backward out the window, her partner following closely behind.