The Conditions of Madness and The Hope That Never Solves Them

by Quinhwyvar

How many years has it been? How much of my life has been obliterated by Shinra? How many people hurt me? Sephiroth stares at his broken memories and wonders who cared about the boy dying in the hands of Shinra. No one wants to listen to his quiet screams except you.

34. PART III: Death, Dying

PART III: Death, Dying

Death is not the greatest loss in life.

The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

- Norman Cousins

.

"HOJO INTERVIEW # 1 of 3 (Excerpt)"- #901207

CLASSIFIED. CLEARANCE: EXECUTIVE. SHINRA ELECTRIC POWER COMPANY. HARD COPY ONLY. STORAGE #31 - NIBELHEIM MANSION.

MEETING TITLE: "HOJO INTERVIEW # 1 of 3 (Excerpt)"
MEETING TRANSCRIPT: #901213
Meeting Attendees: Professor Hojo, Project S
Date of Interview: 12.07.90
Location of Interview: Room 102A, Floor 66, HQ
List of Acronyms:
Professor Hojo=H
Project S (Sephiroth)=S
Intelligent Verbatim Transcript

START OF EXCERPT:

[Begin Transcript 00:00:07]

Professor Hojo (H): "Yes, yes, good. Comfortable?"

Project S (S): "I don't think that I've been in your office before."

H: "Quite nondescript, yes? I only taxidermy the things that I am proud of."

S: "Yeah..."

H: "Important people have sat in that guest chair."

[pause]

H [cont.]: "This is not a psychological interview but it is an interview. A great many changes will happen and I want a record of how you react to them. Think of it as a way that we can help the next generation of SOLDIERs to adjust."

S: "Okay."

H: "We expect you to answer honestly."

S: "Okay."

H: "How do you feel about the upcoming war?"

S: "If it comes to that, I will be proud to serve my country."

H: "And at the ripe age, of what now?"

S: "Seventeen, sir."

H: "Where did time go? You start after you graduate in the spring. May? Correct?"

S: "Yes."

[1:00]

H: "How do you feel about the training provided by Shinra?"

S: "I've learned a lot."

H: "Care to be more specific?"

S: "Dinand…makes me into a SOLDIER."

H: "And the other one?"

S: "Orlin? He helps me with materia but I talk to him about stuff. He's cool."

H: "You do realize he is doing his job."

S: "I-"

H: "He's required to report on you. He does do so, albeit poorly."

S: "I know but-"

H: "Good. I didn't want you to be under any illusions of your relationship to him."

S: "Okay."

H: "Don't look so nervous. I'm not going to hurt you in here."

S: "Thank-"

H: "So. Have you killed anyone yet?"

S: "N-n-no."

H: "Even by accident. It still counts."

[2:00]

S: "No. Never."

H: "Interesting. Have you hurt another person before?"

S: "Well, yes, I have done that."

H: "Elaborate."

S: "There have been training accidents but, you know, what happened last year."

H: "How did it feel to break Conner Holder's forearm?"

S: "It was an accident. I needed him to stop bullying me. Training kicked in. When he attacked me, I fought back and…and…I didn't know my own strength."

H: "Accidents do occur and so do two weeks of suspension."

S: "My grades didn't lower."

H: "I don't expect degradation from you. Concerning the war, how does the prospect sit with you? You said 'if it comes' to war. It is practically at our doorstep now. You don't ask a pregnant woman if she will go into labor. You ask her when. This is no different. It is inevitable."

S: "I read in the news that Wutai and Shinra might come to an agreement over the disputed land before the holidays?"

H: "Lies. False hope so people buy presents for their loved ones. Shinra expects to be at war by summer. I don't care who you tell. No one will believe you."

S: "Oh."

[3:00]

H: "Do you question Shinra's right to the land?"

S: "We need the resources that they aren't using. [pause] Or at least…that's what the newspapers say."

[typing]

H: "How do you feel about graduating high school in the spring?"

S: "It is exciting. In the end, you know, I can't wait to walk across the stage. I've never done something like that. Both Orlin and Mariella say that they are going to come. When I graduate, it will be with Latin Honors. We just put in the order for the honor cords and I think that I will be the first to walk across the stage."

H: "Smiling does your facial structure no good. I wouldn't suggest it."

S: "Ah-I'm sorry. Sir."

H: "Formalized social events are such a bland affair."

[pause]

H [cont.]: "Do you disagree with taking and executing orders?"

S: "No. I've been on several smaller missions around Midgar with Orlin. Everything has made sense to me."

H: "Say something doesn't make sense…would you still do it if it was expressly requested?"

S: "…I would trust in my superiors."

H: "If you are as loyal as you say you are, you will have killed by this time next year."

[pause]

H [cont.]: "Ending another's life…there is great power in that. Imagine it. You will kill people that are fully realized. For example, you will kill someone as real as your mentor Orlin."

[pause]

H [cont.]: "In my line of work, we put things down. Things that are suffering. Things that are useless. I still remember my first one. I thought she would cry or scream, instead she just choked ever so softly on her own throat."

[4:00]

S: "I kill things in the sim but they aren't real people."

H: "Oh they will become real."

S: "Will that make me a murderer?"

H: "So apprehensive."

S: "What?"

H: "I will qualify your reaction as apprehensive. Next question: You are being trained to lead troops. How do you expect older men to follow you at such a young age?"

[Project S stutters. No comprehensible words]

H [cont.]: "We are on a tight schedule. There are many questions and you have your monthly meeting for your medication in an hour. Do you want to keep Mariella waiting?"

S: "…I don't know the answer to your question."

H: "It is a simple enough question. How do you expect older men to follow you?"

[End of excerpt at 00:04:58. See audio drive or following transcript for the remaining 52:34 minutes of Interview 1 of 3. Transcribed by Edin Morse. Reviewed and verified by Mariella Haynes.]