X-Squad: Wonderful 101 Chapter 3: The outskirts, Orowchee and Depression, a x-overs fanfic

AN: Hello ladies, gentlemen and non binary folk, and welcome to the 2nd chapter of the first mission of the X-Squad. Our heroes have made it to the Outskirts somewhat unscathed and clean, but they're gonna meet not only the bounty hunter they didn't want, but need to help them fight GEATHJERK and Deadlight, the 2 most chaotic reapers ever, a lightning alien, a nonbinary college student and their therapist, a wolf personification of death, a nurse, a porcupine faunus, a chamberlain, Wonder Green, 2 certain Inscribed, a penguin faunus and the Cyberpunk Smasher, but 5 certain meddling kids and their cat demon. So be ready.

WARNING: MINOR CHARACTER DEATH, ALCOHOL, GENERAL WAR CRIMES AND SHOWMANSHIP

The heroes and Wonderful 100 dropped in front of the school, Red and Blue striking a pose in front.

"Team, Unite Up!" Red said.

"Roger!" The Wonderful Ones said saluting Red.

Just then the misfits bump into 5 kids and a black cat with heterochromia.

"Wait. I thought this was Japan." The redhead, Satsuki Miayanoshita, asked, dusting herself off. The black haired kid, Hajime Aoyama, sighed.

Satsuki Miayanoshita - Fouler mouth then most sailors

"Well, we all speak in English, and although all the signs are in Chinese or something, we do have American accents. Plus, the lazy bugger known as the author decided not to do anything about it and just kind of let it slide. Plus, who ever heard of a Jewish Japanese person?"

Hajime Aoyama - Hornball Extraordinare

"Actually, Jewish people have lived in Japan since the 1850s, and-" The glasses kid, Leo Kakinoki, said.

Leo Kakinoki - Jewish and only sane man

"Shut up Leo. Plus, Miss Jesus Freak over there is not exactly a Japanese stereotype, is it?"

"Again, although Christians are one of the religious minorities in Japan, they do still exist, and I'm sure some of them are-"

"Shut up Leo!"

"Hey, at least I'm not a liar who messes with the continuity of the story." The purple haired girl, Momoko Koigakubo, said.

Momoko Koigakubo - Jesus loves her, and a probably insane girl

Satsuki glared at all of them. "Thanks guys, you literally broke the fourth wall twice! We have a quota, y'know?"

Satsuki's little brother, Keiichiro tugged on Satsuki's skirt. She sighed, rolling her eyes at him.

Keiichiro Miayanoshita - Satsuki's little brother, probably brain damaged

"What is it? Is your bladder full again? Holy Hell, when will you learn how to use the toilet?" He pointed up to the X-Squad and Wonderful 100. Hajime looked around hurriedly.

"Ah shit. The feds. Deny everything, if they mention drugs deny even more, and if they touch you scream rape. That always works." Keiichiro nodded sincerely. Satsuki glared at all of them.

"They're probably just here because of the weird shit happening. Remember? At least none of us are black." Leo gaped at her, while Momoko nodded dreamily.

"I know that we're probably innocent."

"Um, hey, does anyone here know where we can find a bounty hunter?" Harry asked.

"Nope, believe me I know, it's almost like the author did not think it through at all with his plan. It's almost like this is sort of crossover fanfiction, really ridiculous, amirite?" The misfits stared blankly at Haijime, as he continued babbling about continuity and world development. Momoko in the meantime tugged on Kanade's jacket, smiling ethereally.

"Do you know that you have the devil in you?" She stared wide-eyed as Momoko nodded sincerely. Kanade opened her mouth to speak, but something got lost, and she just kind of stood there, mouth opened and staring at the purple – haired girl. "Yes, it's true. For we all have the devil in us, but Jesus gets us." Kanade shook her head, rolling her eyes and inching away from Momoko, who was decidedly not letting go of her jacket.

"Hibiki?" Hibiki looked around to see Momoko staring intently up at Kanade, still clutching her jacket. "Help." She had been in a very weird conversation with Haijime about 'the fourth wall'. But now her attention was averted.

"Come on, everyone. No time to waste in this shindig. I need to finish my visual inventory." Robin said. Surprisingly, the kids didn't flinch or look taken aback, in fact they looked bored. As Robin said (well actually thought but whatever), weird. They turned to walk away, when Haijime yelled.

"Wait!" Kanade resolutely continued walking but Hibiki stopped.

"Yes?" Hibiki said. Kanade noticed her eyes were slightly twitching. Oh dear.

"You're here about the weird shit right? Especially the stuff to do with the aliens?" Hibiki nodded. "Well, we might know how to figure out what – I mean who, did it?" Kanade narrowed her eyes. "But it's a bit weird."

Satsuki then grabbed him by the collar and dragged him over to the rest of her group.

"What do you think you're doing? They'll have us committed!"

"Well, maybe they won't." The cat, Amanojaku, said, eyebrows raised.

Amanojaku - Demon Prince, with a sharp tongue and a love for violence

"Okay, what the fuck? Also, cats don't have eyebrows. This is really biologically inaccurate, combined with a stupid description. God author, can't you do better than that?" Haijime huffed as Satsuki hit him over the head.

"What did I say about breaking the fourth wall? Oh hai, Amanojaku." Everyone - including the cat, somehow - facepalmed at that reference to much better material than this fanfiction.

"Somebody's on her period!" Hajime muttered to Leo, who did not laugh at all.

"So why won't we be committed?" Leo asked the cat, who was now sitting imperiously.

"Well, they're …"

"What the hell? Did that feline just talk?" Drakus was standing, slightly gaping at the possessed cat. Before any of them could even try to talk, he took out his gun and pointed it between its eyes. The entire group of children widened their eyes and quickly stepped back. Amanojaku rolled his eyes.

"Talk about loyalty." As he said this, Keiichiro, wide-eyed and tiny, ran out to protect their demon companion. Satsuki grabbed him, as he started crying.

"This is not the time to grow balls, Keiichiro. The bot's got a gun."

"But we have faith. Or at least I do."

"Shut up Momoko."

"Wait, the cat's black. Do you think we can call it racial profiling?" Haijime joked nervously, as Satsuki ignored him, her eyes fixed on the gun, her body protecting her brother.

"As I was saying, they're probably heroes." The cat grinned. Drakus lowering his gun.

"Okay, this is fucking weird even for us." Leo nodded in agreement with Hajime.

"Everyone, I think those weird-ass kids might be right. This is fucking weird." Roman said. "Also, how do you know them?"

"Well getting trapped in a fiery lava pit of hell doesn't mean you stay there forever. Once I escaped I set my eyes on a nice cozy afterlife drinking second rate margaritas while watching reruns of soaps with a splash of hentai to spice things up. But I got sick of it. There's only so many times you can binge Days of Our Lives, Young and The Restless and Grey's Anatomy without going insane. So my next option was to get my feet back into the game of demonic highjinks but Eric Andre put me outta commission and I ain't a McCavity."

Amanojaku began to pace around the gang.

"Yeah I totally agree with that; CGI you would be absolutely repulsive," Haijime said.

"Now ask me a question that's more important to the plot. Like I don't know, why we popped up all of the sudden?"

"Yeah, why did we show up anyway?" Leo mused out loud.

"Good question! And that's when I pose this question to you: what's coming up very soon?"

"Laundry day?" Keiichiro said.

"A Starbucks pumpkin spice latte discount?" Satuski added.

"The Skeleton War?" Was Haijime's suggestion.

"Do you think they'll find my Ted Talk educational?" Leo asked.

"Do they need God in their life?" Momoko asked.

Amanojaku groaned.

"God you kids are as idiotic as ever. It's the Null Equinox, the time that the veil between realities snaps, permanently. It's practically a dimensional collapse and lemme tell you things will get wild. People usually do whatever the heck they want, but rumor has it that the daughter of the demon king is going omniverse wide and that's never a good sign."

"Daaaaannnng."

"And if my predictions are correct, what's supposed to be a time of mischief and mayhem will be one of apocalyptic levels of damage and organized crime, hmm? I normally wouldn't mind, but the thought of someone pulling the strings on my ghostly form and telling me what to do makes me wanna die a gruesome death all over again!"

"Yeah! Welcome to fuckin' Ohio!" Kenny said.

"Oh shit, it's Morty as a gun!" Amanojaku shrieked.

"Who?" Kenny asked.

"Phew, and here I was, freaking out that you were Morty." Amanojaku said, now smiling.

"So, this is Blossom City. N-not bad, don't know how we're gonna find Gene, though." Kenny explained. "Maybe explain that we're heroes?"

"Dude, 'heroes' is pushing it, I think we're more of a band of misfits passing through. Just like Kamen Rider Decade" Satsuki said.

"Or you accidentally summoned the worst choice of heroes." Hajime snarked.

"Let's just... ask around. There's all kinds of aliens out here. Let's just... let's just ask, let's just ask. H-he is famous." Kenny realized.

The misfits started walking around the city, while Drakus and Kanade struck up a chat with Satsuki.

"Well, you see, where I came from, this whole Null Equinox thing literally caused my world to go the way of Christian Slater's career. New York was in total chaos, there were ghosts, aliens and mutants running across the city. No one knew where they came from but they are similar to many things from fiction, hell, Slimer was there in his slimy glory like he won the election." Satsuki explained. "There were spaceships from practically every sci-fi franchise that there is hovering over the planet. People who were infected with the coronavirus ended up getting turned into zombies. Dinosaurs, terminators and gang violence went all over Los Angeles. Japan got hit hard by Kaiju, especially Tokyo. Basically every single giant monster movie that Japan has created started coming to life and attacking the city. That also includes Godzilla. Yet some areas have been rendered safe when the giant monster fights have been taken further south of the country along with, well, every single giant robot you can think of."

"Okay, that is awesome!" Kanade said.

"Certain areas of Tokyo are safe for the time being. Akihabara became a safe zone and it looks like a mix of the Akiba from Log Horizon and Shangri-La."

"Are they some sort of show?" Drakus asks.

"Yep...to some degree. They both started out as novels before becoming anime, but more on that later. Shangri-La takes place in Tokyo after an earthquake and a carbon market with many parts of Japan being turned into a jungle-polis. There was something called the Atlas Project, but there was a darker side to it. As for Akihabara, the place became similar to Venice with some areas flooded. The place became a bit of a black market for plenty of otakus. Kinda similar to Akiba after World War II that dealt with household electronic goods and post-war black market. As for Log Horizon, it takes place inside of a MMO that players get somehow absorbed into and become their avatars. Pretty much like Akihabara in Shangri-La, the place appeared old and overgrown with the exception of having a fantasy setting and the game they got trapped in takes place after some major apocalypse. Since it is a player town, the area is surrounded by walls and has a barrier to keep monsters out. Another safe place is Shibuya that surprisingly has all of its buildings intact yet became a bit of a fortress when the JSDF moved in and took advantage. There were also reports of anime characters that have super powers fighting against every single threat that comes near it. Those with no super powers are acting as volunteers to help those in need. Shinjuku seems to be also safe and also turned into a fortress. The Shinto gods came and were trying to help out. But there were reports about Tokyo being independent city-states just like in The Rolling Girls. Much of the United States ain't looking good either. New York City has turned into a major hellhole with stuff from Ghostbusters, that video game series called Prototype, some cyberpunk elements from Deus Ex, a plague from The Division, the Krang invasion from the 2012's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and other stuff such as Crysis, Resistance, Darksiders, and so much shit. Yet the Justice League, the Avengers, the X-Men, and even members of the Jump Force are doing what they can along with some assistance from the Grey Knight Chapter."

"And those are?" Drakus asked.

"They're from Warhammer 40k. Basically religious super soldiers that pack heat, and are under the thumb of a militaristic totalitarian theocratic dictatorship who are horrible oppressors to their own soldiers and subjects as they are horrible genocidal adversaries to everyone else. There were loads of reports about them across the world trying to stop monsters from destroying the place." Satsuki explained. "Anyways, Los Angeles was still under the threat of gang violence and Terminators trying to seize control of the city. The National Guard made a decision to blockade the city to keep everything in. Also, there were reports about dinosaurs all over the world roaming freely and some in the seas. There were reports about Wesen all over Washington state and Austria. San Francisco was now under the control of Blume from Watch Dogs while also having elements from Defiance, Jackie Chan Adventures, and...yeah, everything was a complete and total mess. I'm not sure how much detail I can give when there is so much. But Jesus, Muhammad, King David and Buddha appeared. Jesus is at the Vatican, Muhammad is at Mecca, King David is at Jerusalem and Buddha is seen roaming across China and India. We had the North Koreans trying to invade South Korea with stuff from the first Crysis game, Homefront and Call of Duty: Advance Warfare, but were driven back because they have a zombie problem of their own and nuclear hellfire."

Kanade laughed, "HA! That should get rid of those communist assholes!"

Hibiki then joined, "What about that Kim dickwad? Is he dead?"

"I think so." Satsuki said "But hard to tell since North Korea does keep everything hush-hush and isolated."

"I find it hard to believe that all of the holy people would come up and help out." Drakus is finding it hard to believe that holy people would appear out of the blue and do what religious people do.

"But what about the capital?" Kanade asked. "What happened to Washington D.C.?"

"Some of it is in ruins and a major firefight zone. It is a mix of The Division 2, Fallout 3, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, Battlefield Earth, The Purge, Night at the Museum and...shit, a lot of crap was there." Satsuki explained.

"I know The Purge." Hibiki remembers something about that movie, "Isn't it the one where people can commit crime for one night and it's legal?"

"Yeah, but now it is every night. The whole place is a war zone."

"What about the presidential candidates?" Kanade asks, "What happened to them?"

"Since Trump was assassinated, and no, Momoko didn't vote for him, she wasn't that dumb, the other candidates were taken to a shuttle to head towards the moon to discuss stuff on the transformed moon. That and all the other leaders that are still alive and survived are taken to the moon by the variety of shuttles. Europe was in a lot more trouble than the United States. There are many different versions of the gods and they were fighting each other rather than helping people. London was in total disarray with Reapers and their synthetics roaming about along with zombies, demons causing chaos, wizards casting their spells all over, vampires and werewolves running amok, and some company called Albion trying to seize control with state-of-the-art weaponry and combat drones. The rest of mainland Europe was under siege with zombies and mythical creatures from legends and folklore. Germany was in the middle of a civil war between the actual government and Nazis."

"Which kind?" Kanade asks.

"All forms from many different Wolfenstein games, Zombi Army, S.S. Doomtrooper, Marvel Comics and other stuff as they were being led by a zombie Hitler that is part Bludbat, part cyborg and part whatever the hell else he is."

"Oh shit!" Hibiki is upset, "Why did it have to be Nazis?!"

"Not only that, Russian forces from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 were trying to invade. Basically, Germany was fucked." Satsuki states. "There were robots attacking Stockholm, Sweden. And there were reports about animalistic robots in Colorado, Utah, southern and northwestern Wyoming, and some parts of Idaho and Montana."

"Do they have white armor and glowing blue lights?" Hibiki asked.

"Yeah. Wait, why?"

"Then those are machines from Horizon: Zero Dawn. As for the ones in Sweden, I have no clue."

"They're from Generation Zero." Kanade speaks up, "That game came out in 2019 and I've played it. It was alright." Then she laughed. "Oh god, I'm with one of the biggest nerds ever."

"Hey now!" Satsuki rolled her eyes, smiling, "Without nerds, we wouldn't get all of our cool electronic shit. Like the iPod, and televisions and...lots of stuff."

Kanade smirked. "Okay, okay. Sorry for calling you that."

Satsuki then grinned. "Eh, I'm used to it." Satsuki continued. "Also there was word about some group called the Department of Unified Protection that seized control of Seattle. In other words, Conduits from Infamous, especially in New Orleans with many of them killing zombies from the Left 4 Dead series alongside Vermaak 88 and the Militia. And there was a report about a volcano erupting on the Montana and Idaho border. And me, Keiichiro, Momoko, Haijime and Leo got something called HUDs, even Amanojaku got a HUD."

Then they got to a bench to see a purple alien with three eyes being eaten by a Xenomorph. Just then, a portal opened and out came 2 people, a cyborg, a person with long, dark hair, dressed in a blue jacket and shorts, a man wearing a white and red ensemble, a penguin faunus in a red flannel shirt with blue jeans, a porcupine faunus, a blonde girl with blue eye, two people with wiry wings and a bird monster. Then one of them stood up.

"HahahahaHAHAHAAAAAAAA!" She was short, slender, ghostly-pale, with a mane of thick lavender hair that cascaded past her waist. She was still clothed in a sweater vest and mildly torn dress pants.."Oh, you think you're so SMART, Sweet Jazz City and its various authorities, but MERA SALAMIN RISES AGAIN!"

Mera Salamin - Brittle bones can't stop her

She punctuated this with a dramatic gesture, flinging her hands out to either side. And in doing so, bumped her pinky finger against a railing.

"OWWWWWOWOWOWOW DAMMIT!" Mera shrieked, doubling over and holding onto the finger. All because of her Epithet. "Fragile" allowed her to unleash devastating attacks upon others, making herself a powerhouse in battle. She could also break apart other items in her vicinity…and people, if need be. But the cost was fragility in her own body as well. Her clothes were always scuffed, her nail polish always chipped, and, most frustratingly, her bones brittle, leading to constant risk of breakage and deep-set chronic pain.

"LADY MERA!" The cry came from her ever-present assistant, Indus Tarbella. A tall, very well-muscled man whose pants matched Mera's but whose deep-tan chest with its decorative tattoos was on full display, unhindered by any sort of shirt. A perky, spiky white haircut really brought out the expression of constant confusion in his eyes and the naïveté of his smile. He rushed to Mera, reaching for her hand. "Are you all right?"

Indus Tarbella - Probably dumb, but can shield like a badass

"Don't TOUCH me, idiot!" Mera waved at him, careful not to actually strike him, because that would result in another injury for her. "I just broke my stinkin' finger. Ah, well, you win some, you lose some. And I'm not gonna let a little setback stop me from enjoying my NEWFOUND FREEDOM! Oh, Indus, we're free again to do whatever we want! Find the Arsene Amulet! Steal more Epithets! Scour this place to find a counter for this stupid pain! Hijack as much loot as we can get along the way! I dunno, maybe become the rulers of this city or something! THE WORLD IS OUR OYSTER!"

"You could say…" Indus beamed. "There are no BARRIERS in our way!" He paused. "It is funny because my Epithet is named Barrier."

"…Yeah," Mera sighed. "Hilarious. Anyway, we can go anywhere! We can do anything! It's WONDERFUL! …Um, where do you want to go, and any ideas on what we can do?"

"My head is empty," Indus replied.

"Yeah, that's no surprise," Mera snarked. "Also, I'm kinda having a hard time thinking past this broken pinky. Kinda just wanna go to the hospital. How's that for an anticlimax?"

Kanade realized something. "My guess is you have a condition."

Mera knew how to play this smart. "Condition? I don't know what you're talking about."

Indus did not know how to play this smart. "Lady Mera, they must be referring to the fact that your Epithet causes you near-constant pain and makes your skeleton brittle!"

"WHY DON'T YOU PUT A BARRIER ON YOUR MOUTH?" Mera snapped.

"Must suck," Roman said. "In more ways than one. You're not like the rest, so you went all the way with that. The world never played nice with you, so you stopped playing nice with the world."

"Yeah?" Mera retorted, folding her arms. "You got a problem with that? You a cop or something? I thought they all died in some freak demon accident."

"Actually, quite the opposite," Kenny said. "We're on a rather complex fight against the villain organization known as Deadlight, and we're looking for people with particular skills, whether or not they were acquired over a very long career or make you a nightmare for people is up for debate. You just so happened to catch our eye."

Mera raised a brow. "Well, this sounds shady as hell."

"We're a band of heroes, criminals, villains, murderers, cons, and glamour royalty of all kinds!" Hibiki cried triumphantly. "United by our desire to save this world and our love of being fabulous!"

"Saving this place?" Mera replied. "Like, okay, that sounds pretty weird and all, but I'm looking for something else first and foremost."

"A cure for your Epithet," Mikado replied.

"Bingo," Mera replied. "Without having to lose it completely, of course."

"Because you've come too far with it to take the easy win," Hibiki said with a nod.

"Because I've come too far with it to take the – " Mera flinched. "Wait. How did you KNOW?"

"Mera, Mera, Mera." Kanade sighed. "Look at me! What do you see?"

"A cute lady?"

"Yes, but what else?" Kanade urged.

Mera thought it over. "Cute…outfit?"

"I'm insane!" Kanade cried. "I am very, VERY screwed up! First of all, the fact that you didn't even comment on it makes me like you even more than I already did. And second, look up Melody Rhythm Curse! Do you know what most people ask when they see me? They ask 'What is holding this girl's mind together?'. For years of my life," Kanade ranted on, "I've been regarded as a monster! A killer! Even a crooked girl! And yet…here I am. Helping to save this world from being ruled by a crime syndicate with a lot of bloodlust in them."

"Cool," Mera replied. "What does this have to do with me?"

"Really?" Kanade sighed. "Let me spell it out for you. You're not doing so hot right now. Nowhere to go, something fell through, not sure what your next step is, and, oh, that's right, your body feels like it's on fire. Pretty pathetic, but not too different of an origin story from the rest of our flock. We've learned how to work through weaknesses and turn them into strengths."

"And let me spell MY question out for YOU," Mera growled. "Can. You. Fix. My. CONSTANT. PAIN?!?!?"

"Actually, yes." Drakus replied, pulling out a pale purple vial. Mera sighed. "Well, bottoms up."

She accepted the vial, popping the cork with her good hand. Then she downed it in three swigs. "Tasty."

Mera could feel the subtle clicks of her bones fusing back together the way they should be, and her skeleton becoming regenerative to the point of ridiculousness. She held up the afflicted hand, wiggling all the fingers. "Wow."

"But is that really what you want? Or would you rather live a life where you can achieve great things in spite of that pain? After all…when you DID plan on softening out that Epithet, what were you going to do?"

"Do?" Mera replied. And she realized she had no answer. "The cure was all I've ever looked for. I don't…I don't actually know what I wanna do now that I got it." A long pause. "Huh."

"I think we have had a lot of fun on our adventures," Indus suggested. "Remember all those times you tricked people and stole things and were so happy about it?"

"Yeah," Mera said softly. "I guess…I'd still be a thief, or a con, or something."

"Now, this is important," Kanade urged. "Conscience? Yes or no."

"Please," Mera huffed. "The things I've done to get my cure? I had to abandon my conscience a long time ago."

"I just tune it out and don't think too hard about the moral implications of anything I'm doing!" Indus said happily.

Cyclonis sighed, rolling her eyes. "Do we HAVE to bring him? He's just going to be Snipe all over again, and I don't know if I can take that!"

"HEY!" Mera yelled. "You want me? You take Indus too. We're a package deal. If you can't handle that, then we're done here."

"So you're saying this does sound interesting," Kanade noted with a smirk.

"…Yeah," Mera replied. "Because you know something? You're right. No frigging clue what I'm supposed to do once I've normalized out. Along the way, I guess I corrupted pretty bad. And honestly? Compared to the life I had before, playing the good girl and staying locked up in my room so I wouldn't get hurt?" She blinked a little too often. Hiding tears. "Crime's better, but this gig might be the best it's gonna get. By a long shot. So no. If I had my cure, I wouldn't give it up. I'm a thief, I'm a con, and I may or may not have a body count depending on what qualifies."

"I still do not think you were at fault for that one," Indus told her. "You may have wanted him to die, but no one could've expected that electric guitar to fall on that crossbow."

Mera shrugged. "It's the thought that counts."

"So you're in?" Drakus asked excitedly.

"We're in." Mera said, nodding and shaking Drakus' hand, smiling at the fact that she won't be on the verge of breaking again. "But, we've talked a lot about me. We HAVEN'T talked a lot about you. What do you guys…DO? Exactly. Prove to me this is a better gig than going solo."

"I was hoping you'd say that," Drakus told her. "We'll tell you, of course…but it's going to be MUCH more effective when we show you."

"Wait, is that skekSil from Dark Crystal?!" Satsuki realized. "I thought he merged with his...Um, what's the word?"

"Mystic," skekSil clarified in a smug falsetto. "UrSol was Mystic."

skekSil - Chamberlain and a very messy birb

"Yeah, I remember that." Satsuki waved it off. "UrSol was a creature of peace and skekSil was a creature of war. Together, they made up a complete being: SilSol. SilSol pretty much encompasses both halves…but this is purely skekSil, with none of UrSol's influence."

"Think I see how it is," Roman realized. "These…Mystics, was it? They were the good twin and the bird man was the evil twin."

"Oh, no, no, no!" skekSil argued, still smug as could be. "It is not so simple. We Skeksis are evil Mystics, as they are FRUSTRATINGLY Skeksis who turned to peace and good. Heretic was one. Used to be a Conqueror until he decided he wanted such foolish fripperies as love and artistic fulfillment! Bah! Heretic was a weakling! Admittedly, I'm also a weakling, but an intricate mind makes up for a withered body. Which is why I know flattery when I hear it." He fixed a suspicious eye upon Roman.

"Flattery?" Roman replied. "I've always had a taste for the unusual, the…beautiful in more unique ways. And you might be one of the more unique things I've seen."

"I still don't get it," Asami admitted. "If you're not good and evil, then what's the split?"

"In all beings," skekSil explained, "there are two desires. One is to create. It is a passive desire that requires little ambition. Mystics are the desire to create and avoid the battle. Mystics sequester themselves, working on useless skills while hiding like cowards. The other desire, the Skeksis desire, is to HAVE. The Skeksis pursue action and conquest! The Skeksis operate on a much superior desire to possess only the best that can be had! Power, immortality, wealth and territory! Of course, respect is a bonus."

"Well now," Brandon realized, "a good fit for our club. Though I feel like skekSil has an interesting history."

skekSil frantically waved both hands; "It is a story for another time! Do not need to know Chamberlain's past, no! Will learn later! It is not important NOW!"

"Is that…reluctance?" Kanade teased. "Are you not willing to boast of your many victories?"

"Moment is about this hero group," skekSil said quickly. "Chamberlain should hold tongue and not intrude upon such important exposition."

"Yeah, you messed up and don't wanna talk about it, huh?" Kanade asked.

"You DARE!" skekSil barked.

"Well, don't you worry about that one single stitch," Kanade told him. "After all, you seem to know what you're doing and love to laugh. Plus I did some bad stuff too, like murder and maiming. Though I mostly murdered people close to Hibiki."

"Interesting." skekSil cocked his head. "What are Musician's other dark deeds, exactly? Perhaps Chamberlain could be persuaded to divulge some of own…"

"Nice try," Kanade told him. "How about for now, you keep yours and I keep mine?"

skekSil thought it over. While Kanade's furtiveness could've implied that she had only been trying to flatter skekSil, it more likely meant that she really was telling the truth, and not about to admit something very embarrassing.

"AHHHHHHH! NO NO NO! PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HELL AGAIN! PLEASE!" The blonde girl screamed in horror after seeing the squad.

Throughout Aria's life, the girl had never encountered a Danger Beast. She had heard of them through the news and her parents, but never to the point of seeing one like this. So once her eyes were at the creature, she immediately ran as fast as she could, which wasn't much as she saw a dead end.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, we ain't here for you!" exclaimed Drakus.

"PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO BE FUCKED BY DEMONS! PLEASE! DON'T LET SAYO FEED ME TO LUCIFER!" She screamed as Drakus blinked.

"Sayo?" he frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well...she's kind of a demon queen of hell. Seventh circle and...was my tormentor." She gulped. "So... you're not going to kill me?"

"... Explain to me like I'm two in human years." Drakus said.

She gulped before explaining everything.

"You see, I'm a noble from the Capital, and it kinda sorta made feel like I was obligated to treat peasants like they are livestock for me to do with as I please, but then things led to another, and that's how I got here." Aria gulped. "Trust me, you don't wanna know the details."

The squad was silent...before Drakus aimed BlueBlaze at her on reflex.

"Wait, okay, I tortured people to death and even infected them with Lubora and some Night Raid people decided to take action!"

"Look, let's just calm down." Drakus explained. "I'm not here to execute you. In fact, after what you said, you seem like a fun choice to add to the squad"

Then, a man in a full black ensemble, Sho Minamimoto, along with a girl dressed in a full pastel ensemble, Coco Atarashi, woke up and yawned. They had just had the most amazing dream.

They dreamt that this guy told Sho how they could create Taboo noise, and become the next composers, got killed by some red-haired hectopascal, got better, went on a vicious rampage, and were about to kill the Composer when they got crushed by a telephone booth.

"Wait a nanosecond!" He said, "That was no dream! That was our victory equation!"

He kicked his feet against the ground. "And we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling undefined variable…"

Sho Minamimoto - Can and will break your bones while reciting the digits of pi

Sho then scratched his head, and looked in every direction. Where were they, anyway? "Argh! Stupid composer! Stupid subtracting-us-for-real irrational integer!" Sho jumped up and down repeatedly in frustration. Then he got to his knees, looked at the band of misfits in front of him and screamed, "WHAT THE ZETA!?"

"Your name, dude?" Drakus asked, slightly freaked out.

"The name's Sho," he said with a toothy smirk, hands in his jacket pockets. "Sho Minamimoto. Would-be Composer."

"And I'm Coco!" the younger girl called out. "Coco Atarashi! Also would-be Composer."

Coco Atarashi - Lit memes and illusions are her specialty

"Composer?" Iroha wondered. "Isn't that a music term?"

"Yeah, but we ain't it," Sho replied. "We were GONNA be it, but some NULL managed to shut me and Coco down like we were less than prime!"

Coco put on a dramatic pout, beleaguered. "I'd give you a cookie," she lamented, "but I eated it. And you gotta admit, our past before here didn't exactly let us smell like roses! You were pretty sus from the start. And the same goes for me! LOL!"

"Yeah, well, I mighta pulled a coup or two back on our homeworld." Sho adjusted his hat. "What can I say? Any old idiot can drop an apple. We were born to drop the MOON."

Kanade put up her hand. "Start from the beginning. WHERE are you from?"

"The whole matrix used to be plotted on Shibuya," Sho explained. "Probability's low that it was any Shibuya you knew. The world matrix is INFINITE! Which makes the possibilities for a guy like me BEYOND INFINITE! But then our world was deleted. Long story involving the head honcho and our little Mersenne number here."

"He calls me that because I'm less than prime!" Coco laughed. "LOLOLOLOLOL!"

"Less than two to the power of a prime," Sho said flatly. "So even LESS than less than prime."

"Mersennes can be prime." Drakus said.

"Shut up, zero!" Sho sniped. "Anyway, with our city kaput, we were brought here! The UG changed, and Coco and I are integers in the equation again! We're Reapers, see."

"a.k.a. Shinigami!" Coco clarified.

"Oh, Japanese death gods," Kanade muttered.

"Gods is right!" Sho crowed. "Well, we WERE gods, we traded that away to become Noise! A pure frequency of cacophony!"

Just then, the porcupine man and penguin man stood up, the porcupine man revealing he was African-American, had a black hat and shirt, blue pants and was carrying a whip, while the penguin man showed that he was wearing black lumberjack boots. Roman then saw that it was his and Neo's partners in crime. "PECOS! ROALD!"

Pecos then turned around and saw Roman and Neo. "My hoes!" Pecos exclaimed with a smile and a Mexican accent.

Pecos Prickles - Can and will simultaneously whip and nae nae

Roald stumbled to his feet and smiled at Roman. "Roman, my dude!" He exclaimed in a New York accent. "You're back on the streets!"

Roald D. Flipper - Icey customer

Roman turned back to his cohorts, gesturing toward Pecos. "These two are Pecos Prickles and Roald D. Flipper, the freaks that are basically my little brothers who think me and Neo will blow up if we're left alone for two seconds." he introduced.

Behind his back, Pecos chuckled and stuck out a tongue while Roald chuckled.

Roman turned back to Pecos and Roald, and back into his mouth the tongue went. "So I see YOU survived," he remarked.

Pecos nodded, then stared at Roman and Neo. "And you're kicking too, I see."

"Yeah, that too," Roman confirmed. "You heard anything from Junior?"

"Can't say I have." Roald explained.

Roman was practically giddy. "How would you like to come work with us? Our new pals are mean on the battlefield AND the dancefloor. Though you have to be on the good side. But hey, better than the twin Ashes, I say."

Pecos and Roald nodded with enthusiasm, looking over the group.

"Do they even know what they're getting into?" Kanade asked.

"Do we know what we're getting into?" Drakus replied.

"You are not gonna regret this," Roman told the others. "Pecos has two specialties: control over light and killing things. While Roald can make anything out of ice and chat his way into any room."

"And the other two are?" Drakus asked.

"Dr. Albert Krueger, certified dream therapist, also a serial killer." The man dressed in red and white, Albert Krueger, said.

Albert Krueger - not a certified dream therapist, but definitely a marine biologist.

"My name's Taylor Lee." The person in a dark blue jacket, Taylor Lee, added.

Taylor Lee - Possibly a dream eater, just done with everything

"With all the energy of a pair of Final Girls." Kenny remarked.

"Ugggghhh!" Taylor groaned. "Not. A. GIRL!"

Roman snapped his fingers, pointing at them; "They/them?"

"Wha – " Taylor's eyes widened. "You are the FIRST one to get that right. I mean, I guess I get it, but I was afraid for a minute I'd have to chop off all the hair to look more GNC. And I like my hair."

"Hair is an ultimately personal feature that shouldn't conform to any gender standards, I personally don't see why I can't rock a ponytail." Drakus remarked, running a hand through his own.

"Sorry for the mistake." Kenny said, sincerely.

"Fair warning to Taylor," Kanade said. "You're with some strange people."

"Hey, I never did anything wrong!" Taylor snapped at Kanade. "This was ALL Al! I just made friends with the wrong guy!"

"Oh, no, we're not NICE," Kanade corrected. "Actually, we'd better get that out of the way right now. To make a long story short – " She pointed to herself, then pointed at the others. "I'm a serial killer, Roman, Pecos, Roald and Neo were thieves, Mimi and Sheshe worked for a terrorist and a cult leader, Bangray did poaching, Celeste murdered before and will probably kill again, Jeeves robbed people of their blood, Linda worked for a crime organization, Aria tortured people like cattle, Mera and Indus did some fraud and robbery with one murder to their name and skekSil stole life energy."

"Don't ask." Celeste explained.

"How did Musician learn that?!" SkekSil asked, shocked. "You must be psychic."

"Wow." Albert needed a moment for all of that to sink in. "I committed some murders for my research into dreams."

"And I'm just slowly finding out that I'M A MAGNET FOR THIS!" Taylor groaned. "Why are ALL of my friends like this?"

"Explain why you're a magnet for this." Kanade demanded.

"Well, I was a normal college student having a normal life, when some kind of hitman came after me because of Albert here. See, he was in some deep shit. I mean, the man tried to kill me or turn me into a Dream Eater, and I guess it turned out he possibly managed that second one somehow. Anyway, he was tied up in some conspiracy involving his crazy ex, and THAT'S another story, but as many times as he's tried to kill me, he's still my friend for some fucking reason. I'm starting to think I just attract this type. So G4 sends a hitman to juice info out of me, I don't talk because he finally started wanting me alive so now I want him alive, and then, next thing you know, we're here." Taylor explained.

Albert let out a joyous gasp when he saw Bangray; "What ARE you? Why, you're a marine marvel! You seem to be a manta ray, and a rubber eel would explain the air-breathing but not the rest. Are you a hybrid between a manta and a rubber? Though neither of those would explain how you are currently bipedal and also able to talk. Tell me, are you in any fashion a Dream Eater? What scientific advancements led to you being such a fascinating creature?"

"Uhhh…I'm an alien." Bangray replied.

"Bangray's a fascinating subject, isn't he?" Kanadr broke in. "As a marine biologist with great potential, there should be plenty about him to discover."

Albert already had Bangray snuggled up, wrapped around one arm while his other hand scratched the poacher's head. "I suppose that's enough to convince me," he said. "Well. That and the fact that if I walk away, you will likely not allow me to leave. But let's ignore that factor for now, just to keep the peace."

"Get away! Don't take my shit!" The Xenomorph said in a New York accent, flinging the corpse down into a crater below.

"Oh my god.. it can't be." Kenny realized.

"What do you want?" The Xenomorph asked.

"W-Were you eating the famous bounty hunter Gene Zaroothian?" Kenny asked, horrified.

"Yeah I was, so what?" The Xenomorph said nonchalantly, as if he was talking about the weather. "Disappointed? I don't care right now."

"Uh, okay. Well, whoopsies. Huh, we were gonna ask for his help fighting Deadlight, but..." Kenny said.

"I'd help you fight... who, who'd you say? Deadlight? Oh yeah, oh come on, come on that's crazy but what the Hell, we'll, we'll kill 'em all easy." The Xenomorph said. "Name's Exzom, by the way."

Exzom - Not the first choice, but definitely a needed asset.

"So, what, we just jump into the deep end and start subtracting the Deadlight fractions, or what?" Sho asked.

"I'm not sure you're ready just yet. I mean, they don't let you eat a stripper at the Peppermint Hippo without a Level 4 FuckPass, do they? Well, they don't, and I got arrested there more than once. Maybe I should send you out on a little test run first, eh?" Exzom asked.

"Ye, let's do that." Coco said.

"I've got just the thing. A small-time local gangster by the name of 9-Torg. She took a knife Gene had, his favorite. She's got an operation out on the outskirts. Maybe we kill her and take the knife? Then we'll try out bringing Deadlight down." Exzom explained.

"Alright, so we just... head out to the outskirts?" Mera asked.

"No, moron. You gotta use a Bounty 5000 to initiate a bounty." Exzom explained, pulling out a red phone shaped like a gun. "That way, we don't get in trouble with the feds."

Exzom punched in a few buttons and the bounty turned out to be in the outskirts of town.

"Oh, the bounty's right here in Blossom. You mind just heading out on foot? The outskirts ain't too far from here." Exzom suggested.

"So we're assassins now." Aria said. "To be honest, I might like Tatsumi's adventurer lifestyle better. At least they get paid more."

"Be quiet."

"Why?"

"Because we should save the chit chat for later." Pecos said as a large alien robot appeared before them.

"A Gedie Dough-Goo. Tougher than the foot soldiers, but can be defeated and recruited all the same." Red said.

"Let's see if I got it." Pecos said. He made a pose like he was aiming a bow and arrow and a light-like arrow appeared in his hand. "Begone, thot!" he shouted. The arrow let loose at lightning speed, piercing the robot and making it explode with one hit.

"Holy moley, that was awesome!" Drakus said.

Continuing forward, they soon came across an even larger robot than the last one. Standing on its two legs as it surveyed the area.

"It's as if they keep getting bigger and bigger as you progress." Anubis said from the Virgin Victory.

"I wonder if one of these guys is the size of an actual planet?" Drakus wondered.

"Shut up! If you say it enough times, it might as well be true." Celestia said.

"Can we just fight the giant robot and argue later?" Mera said as the robot raised a fist.

"Right. Prepare for battle! Unite...Hand!" Red shouted.

The command was given as the hand formed at Red's proximity. He then punched off its armor until it exploded into nothing.

"That one was surprisingly tougher than the others." Roman said.

"It'll only get tougher, but it's nothing we can't handle." Kanade said.

After a few more waves of robots, the ground started to shake as a robot was coming out of the ground. They were able to escape, but the robot emerged and roared as it was even bigger than the other one.

"A Gah-Goojin! This is one of their heavier units." Red said.

"No freakin way, dude, this thing is gnarly!" Blue said.

"Eliminating Earthlings! Eliminating Earthlings!" it repeated. Twin laser cannons appeared from its fists, blasting away four city blocks.

"We need to take this thing down before it causes even more damage. Team, Unite up!" Red said.

'He can't be serious…' Aria thought. 'That thing is huge.'

"And let's give him our special brand of justice." Drakus said. "Yeetus!" He shouted as he aimed at the robot and chucked his sword at it as it spun around. The right arm fell off of the robot cleanly, making it look shocked. "Damage 30%! Evacuating!" it said flying off from the scene.

"Good, I hope it stung."

"Try eating lava until you explode." Aria snarked.

"Dude, you guys are awesome! For the record I don't say that often." Blue said.

"We believe that." Drakus said.

"Let's keep moving. GEATHJERK might have more where that came from." Kanade said.

The air force was sent in next as the heroes came across a Teikuu, which according to Red, was an anti-air cannon.

"Even though it's a threat, it's not our target. Alice was detecting something bigger." Red said.

"Alice?" Roman said.

"The pilot you saw on the ship." Red said. "I've already memorized the crew members names. Also, Nelson told me more members will be joining us soon."

The Yo-Houghs kept coming from a dropship that was too far to reach. That was, until everyone saw a boy on top of a windmill one second, then jumping into the air the next. "Wonder Eyes...Green!" he shouted.

He then did some posing before a green Wonder outfit appeared on him. He then finished off with a sparkly explosion behind him. "Unite Gun!" he shouted as the Wonderful Ones morphed into a large gun. "Adieu." the boy said before firing a bullet. It hit dead on, causing the dropship to spark and malfunction. As it blasted off, the boy landed on the ground.

"Ah, once again you strike true Christine Diane, my gun, my belle. Another life snuffed out by your exquisite charms!" he said aiming it.

Jean-Sebastien Reanu - Wonder Green, has respect for etiquette, rich kid.

"You're late, Frenchie. What? You got lost jumping the pond?" Blue asked.

"Wow. Wonder Green, the Sniper Superior!" Drakus said.

"Thank you. Your help was invaluable. Jean-Sebastien Reanu...I mean Wonder Green!" Red said.

Green then turned to Red and the X-Squad. "Pardon me, but have we met? You seem unfamiliar." Green said.

"Oh, Red and us are new to the team-" Kanade started.

"Sacre-bleu! Novices! You will refer to me as Monsieur Wonder Green. Do you have no respect for etiquette?" Green said.

"Oh, etiquette shmetiquette, we're trying to save this world's ass here." Drakus said, waving his hand and rolling his eyes.

"Oh, uh, we're sorry…" Red said.

"I will have you know I am no simple child! Tell me now, Wonder Rouge, what scores did you receive on your tactical exams?" Green asked.

"I believe it was 100 on the written and 98 on the field." Red said.

Everyone was in shock, Green and Blue gaping the widest. "T-tres bien. But exams are exams, what counts is real skills, honed in battle! This is what counts, my dear Wonder Rouge and X-Squadron." Green said.

"Of course, Monsieur Wonder Green!" they said.

Then, the X-Squad were reaching the end of the outskirts, when Drakus picked up and put on a wristband that summoned a screen of a sort of Twitch Chat in the real world. The X-Squad got the same wristband on their hands and were as confused as the chat.

One user broke the silence with the first question of many. [Yo, is that a fuckin dragon boy along with other fictional characters and whack jobs?]

[i think it is]

[where's the camera? in the hands?]

[what kind of person puts a camera in their hand?]

Twitch Chat - Pogs, memes and ships abound

"Probably us, chat." Drakus said.

"If we are done with life lessons, we've got a city to save." Laura said as they kept moving forward.

"The energy signature Alice picked up before is coming from that stadium." Nelson said.

"Then I guess it's time to play ball." Drakus said.

Going inside the stadium, the teams came across a lizard-like General with flames on his body.

"So, this is the X-Squad I've heard rumors about. Well, they will pay for defying the Guild of Evil Aliens Terrorizing Humans with Jiggawatt bombs, Energy Beams, Ray guns, and Killer lasers! And I, Lammbo, Officer Sixth class, will wipe them all from the face of the earth!"

Laambo - Sixth class officer, possibly insane, loves his job.

"Wow. The ego of this guy." Kenny said.

"I know! And that's what GEATHJERK stands for? They could've picked a shorter name?" Louise added.

"Lammbo, I'm Wonder Red. I order you to stand down, or we'll have no choice but to use force!" Red said.

"Hahaha! That's rich! YOU'RE Wonder Red? Hahahaha!" Lammbo laughed. "There must be some mistake. I came looking for combatants, not cosplayers! Either way, you'll be dead with a few shots from my disintegration cannons!"

The platform Lammbo was on landed on the ground and pointed 4 cannons at the teams. "Guess this thing's our target. Let's take it out!" Roman shouted.

[AY YO WTF THIS GUY DOING TRYING TO KILL THE SQUAD]

[EXECUTE]

[He fucked up now!]

"That is true." Kanade stated, already wondering where the brain of this guy is. "We need to take out the batteries before we go for the big guy. Let's hit em all at once!"

"Got just the thing. Light Blitzkrieg!" Pecos said, firing beams of light at the cannon, hitting all of the batteries at once, smashing them to bits.

"You're good. Guess I'll do this myself!" Lammbo said jumping down. He drew a huge sword and started swinging it around.

"Call that a weapon? I've dealt with bigger things." Eleanor said, drawing Kenny.

[OH SHIT, SHE PACKING HEAT]

[OOOOH MYYYY GOOOOOD]

[SMOKE HIS ASS]

[imma add to the therapy fund] x 500 bits

"Please do, we need the beer after this." Hibiki said.

"I need the nog." Taylor said.

"Where will we keep the essence?" skekSil asked.

[good on you]

[how much do you think we can get for assassinating the man on the dark web?]

[dude,what the fuck?]

"Probably around 69 pounds." Robin suggested.

[Owa damn!]

[jeez. we need to kill this guy somehow]

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing? C'mon." Kenny pleaded for democracy.

"Does it look like this scene was scripted?! DO WE LOOK LIKE THE TYPE TO AVOID MURDERING EVERYTHING IN THE ROOM?!" Drakus said to Kenny.

Eleanor tried to shoot again.

"I am not shooting that dude, we ain't starting a world war!" Kenny said.

Eleanor doesn't register the other part, at first. All she sees is the movement. She shifts Kenny a couple degrees off center and fires, along with the X-Squad shooting their respective ammunition while Kenny shouts "Whoa!".

The ammunition pierced directly into the Laambo's arm and split his sword in half.

"These guys are better than I was told." Lammbo said, his communicator suddenly rang. "Hello? What is it? Kinda in the middle of something here! You found it? About time!"

He then jumped onto a dropship. "Unfortunately, my little friends, our playdate ends here. But don't worry, you can still play with my toys!" He laughed as the dropship flew off.

"We need to get after him. We can't let him get away like this!" Roald said.

"No, cannon comes first, look!" Red said, the cannon revealing its main gun. "A shot from that cannon could easily take the Virgin Victory out!"

"Good point. We better deal with it first." Roman said, drawing his cane.

Just then, a robot came out with a baseball bat. "Well, that's not the weirdest thing I've seen today. It's official, this fanfiction became a hot mess." Kenny said.

"Welp, someone else knows this is fictional, welcome to the club." Satsuki said.

They took out the robot and Drakus picked up the bat, stepping up to the plate. "Gimme your best shot!" he said. The cannon then began charging before firing a shot.

"Black Thunder...Raizo Slam!" he shouted, covering the bat in a lightning aura before sending the shot back at the cannon. It then was taken out in a huge explosion, Hajime barely getting a shield up in time.

"Home Run." Drakus grinned.

The Virgin Victory soon appeared after that. "Team, climb aboard quickly. Lammbo is headed towards the Goddess of Blossoms statue!" Nelson said.

"The goddess? This is bad…" Red said.

Then, the X-Squad walked onto the ship.

[okay who wants to crusade onto a dragon?]

[DEUS VULT]

[finally, an excuse to stab people]

[DEUS VULT]

[DEUS VULT- wait what?]

[you know what i said coward]

"DEUS VULT!" The image of Drakus shouted on the computer Commander Khan watched. He then turned to Agent J and those other two guys whose names I can't recall.

"Agents!" the commander began, "A dragon boy named Drakus Hydrax needs your help! Your mission is to dance well enough to drive him to kick some butt. Any questions?"

The unnamed guy on the left raised his hand. "Um… sir? We don't have any songs for fighting monsters."

"Oh, really?" The commander looked skeptical. "Are you sure?"

"I checked." Said Agent J. "What should we do, sir?"

"I want you to find one dammit!" replied Khan. "What do I pay you guys for, anyway?"

"You can't pass through here! It's 9-Torg's turf!" An ant-like bug said.

"Jesus, enough with everyone getting in our way. We just want to kill 9-Torg!" Kenny said.

"So do us a favor and move out of the way, before we squish you!" Hibiki threatened.

"Yeah, right! You? Kill 9-Torg? Get lost, shitheel!" The other ant alien said.

"So the hard way then." Aria said, shooting one of the ant aliens with a pistol as she looked almost tired.

"What the fuck? Holy shit, you just killed Jason! Jason's dead!" The ant alien said.

Then, a grey wolf in a black cloak leapt down from one of the buildings, and gored the other ant alien on sickles.

"Okay, and you are?" Blue asked.

"Death. And I don't mean it metaphorically or rhetorically or poetically or theoretically or any other fancy way. I AM Death. Straight up!" The wolf said.

"Nah, you look more like a 'Grim' to me." Hibiki said.

"Ugh, fine. We'll go with that." Grim said, not pleased with the name he was bestowed.

Grim - Death himself, and loving it, downs shots like nothing, smells fear.

[not gonna lie, Grim looking cute though]

[blessed wolfy]

[bundle of sin and sunshine]

"Please stop." Grim said, getting flustered.

Taylor sighed. "Listen, I'm SURE it could back up the fact that Albert, before all this, is the weirdest guy you'd ever meet."

[Ayo, TayBert real?]

[Age is just a number dude.]

[No, we all don't want another Haiji Towa.]

[Cringe Haiji]

"No, chat." Taylor cringed. "Albert is way older than me, technically my therapist, and also I ship him way too hard with Vincent. Seriously, you should've heard the man go on about him. No, it's more like…" They seemed to shrink a little. "Since graduating, I didn't have that many real friends. Most of them left. Hell, I left too. I hadn't made many new friends at college, and my parents were…supportive, I guess. But I only had one person I felt comfortable really talking to about things. Sometimes, if I had a shit day, or a good day but no one to tell, I'd dash him off an email and he'd write back all these reactions like it was the most interesting thing ever, since he didn't have any friends either."

Then, Taylor thought it over, then shrugged. "What the hell? I'm stuck with you guys and there's nowhere to go but up."

"So there won't be any moral conflicts?" Kanade asserted to Taylor.

"No, there won't." Albert replied. "I once sent Taylor a selfie and I forgot I had a pile of entrails on the floor in the background. Then I sent them an email asking them to please ignore the entrails and also to tell me how to edit them out of the photo. They didn't call the cops then, they wouldn't now. Let's just say they're used to it."

"I'm literally the end of life, and I'm willing to get my hands dirty if need be." Grim said.

"Oh, shit, here we go. We're gonna have to kill some of these Torg foot soldiers to prove ourselves around here. These people think we're weak. Not on my watch!" Kenny said.

The X-Squad jumped into the fray, murdering every Torg grunt.

"Welp, time we go Mad Max on this shit, huh?" Satsuki asked, realizing they have a ways to go.

"Well, let's hope Jesus is on our side for this." Momoko stated.

"I feel like God has forsaken us long ago, Momoko!" Kanade said.

"Welp, time to solve this equation." Sho resigned himself to this fate.

"If 9-Torg trained these morons, GG! She deserves a cookie!" Coco realized.

The X-Squad then took an Airbus Beluga, painted it black, blue and gold with dragon wings, lots of booster engines (some from Fast and Furious, and realizing that Aria didn't have a TV, so they agreed to ahow her the wonders of pop culture), and set out into the city.

Somewhere in a disclosed location, we got some people wearing white robes and pointed hoods in an underground bunker. Confederate and Nazi flags are hung with many portraits of Nazi commanders along with Hitler, Confederate generals, many racist radicals and detailed pictures of people of different races other than white being treated harshly, as if they were slaves. Even pictures of the Imperium of Man from Warhammer 40,000 killing aliens, Chaos worshipers and mutants while wearing more Christian symbols than the other symbols used in WH40K. In this wooden bunker, candle chandeliers light the room by candle light along with small, electrical lamps on some of the wooden beams that support the room. At the front, there is a large, brass Christian cross with a golden figure of Jesus Christ with a red liquid leaking out from the eyes and areas where the steel nails are. The room is filled with stone chairs that are twenty across and twelve down, filled with all members of this organization that are awaiting their leader, who is now approaching the podium. All members seem to be members of the Ku Klux Klan, yet some look like they're claymation of some show. The leader is also a claymation figure, wearing the same white outfit yet has a large cross with a red ruby at the center, while also wearing a golden disc on his head, meant to be a halo. The leader then makes a speech to his ill-minded followers as he speaks from the podium.

"My fellow followers." the man speaks in a similar manner to someone from the 1950's, "The apocalypse is here. But do not fret, for we are god's chosen. Loved by Jesus, who had blessed us with many who follow his teaching." Not really since people like these followed how he died. "Today, we are going to rebuild America the way it is meant to be. A land ruled by the Protestants! Not by liberals, people of different colors, devil rockers, or those stupid FUCKING HIPPIES! It belongs to those that follow the teachings of the cross. We will free America, and remake this land the way that our southern forefathers intended it to be!"

The crowd cheers with religious fervor. Raising their hands and standing on the chairs.

"We will also kill those that stand in the way! The open minded Catholics! The Jews and Muslims! The descendants of the immigrants that ruin this nation by demanding that we treat them as equals instead of animals! But we are now plagued by mutants and aliens created by these so-called people! Including the demons that we are supposed to be fighting against! We will-"

"Sir!" one of the members came bursting in all flustered, "We have animals trespassing close to our sacred site!"

"ROUND UP OUR VEHICLES AND WEAPONS!" the leader ordered with a thunderous voice, "We have disgusting degenerates to kill in the name of Christ!"

The leader then looks through binoculars at the beluga with Sho at the front.

"That's them!" he speaks as he head backs in. "Start the engines, brothers! We got some illegal immigrants to teach them their proper place: buried in the ground!"

A fleet of ships started their engines with some driving hoverbikes, planes, hovervans and flying cars with the same symbols of religious racism on them as they head out. Same with those that look like they're in claymation while some were in anime and cartoon form.

Riding through the air, Sho noticed something on the radar he installed. He takes a closer look and sees multiple dots coming in from the southeast.

"What the zeta?" Sho muttered.

Kanade leans over, "What's up?"

"I'm getting multiple integers on the radar."

Hibiki looks at the radar screen, "That can't be right." She then turns around to get a good look.

Hibiki looked to the southeast and was in total surprise by what she saw. She saw what is best described as the KKK coming down on them with everything that they got.

"Oh shit!" she says before a bullet speeds by the dinghy. "Oh god!" she looks back, "WE GOT TROUBLE!"

[how much money do we need for putting a hit on 9-Torg?]

[monkey]

[dude, no]

Kanade is already loading a rocket launcher, "We're already after her!"

"Heads up! We got company!" Monty said.

"What kind?" Drakus asked.

Another bullet sped by.

"THE WORST KIND!" Albert shouted.

KKK - Brattiest bunch of racists since the Confederacy

BGM: Operation Pyrite (Arknights)

Drakus looks at where the shot came from and sees the KKK coming down.

"Oh hell no!" Julie gets upset. "Those assholes shot at the beluga!"

Sho puts the beluga to auto pilot as he tries to get it away from the KKK as fast as he can. One of the clan members fired an RPG at the beluga, yet it missed.

"Fuck!" Haijime swears from the close call, "This is why I don't wanna head to the southern parts of the States!"

Leo corrected, "But we're in another dimension! Aren't they supposed to be burning crosses in the swamps or something?"

"Beats the hell out of me! But those fuckers should stay in the southeast and die faster than the plague victims in Egypt during Moses' time!" Momoko vented.

"Didn't take you for a potty mouth, Momoko." Satsuki realized.

"I was with you guys for a while, and I kinda realized that I had to tone down on the right wing." Momoko explained.

"What is going on?! I spilled coffee on my pants!" Grim asked.

"Those motherfuckers just tried to kill us!" Julie explained

"What hooligans?!"

"Racist, white robe wearing assholes that wear Confederate flags on their vehicles!"

"Wait, you mean-" Grim was interrupted by a loud whack to the side of the beluga that nearly yanked him from the chair, "OW!" he spilled more of his coffee, "Mierda!"

[OH FUCK]

[WE GONNA DIE]

[oh my god it's the Klan]

"We can see that, chat!" Taylor shouted.

[bro i'm screaming]

[oh god i think i'm going to have trauma around this]

[so will they, man]

[they need a therapist]

[i'm on it]

Kanade opens up the hatch and arms herself with her guitar. She aims at the nearest vehicles and opens fire while Hajime makes an energy shield to protect the plane. Kanade guns down a few hoverbikers and one of the trucks. Amanojaku also activated a shield ability to protect the plane from further damage as Sho slams one of the planes with it. Causing it to be flipped over.

"Yeah!" Julie cheers, "That's what you get for trying to ruin the baby!"

In the rig, Coco opens a case, "Bingo! XD" and pulls out her weapon.

(The fact that the X-Squad and the chat now knew, somehow, that she can verbalize emoticons was disturbing to say the least.)

The weapon she is holding looks like a minigun yet the barrel looks more like a cannon. Coco fired shots at one of the planes. What happened is that there is an electrical charge in Coco's gun that fired the projectile at lightning speed, almost like a railgun. Actually, it is a railgun. The plane exploded into dozens of pieces and killed the people in it. Roasting them to nothing but skeletons.

"FINALLY! ROFL! ROFL! LMAOOOOOOO!" Coco screams with joy, "I FINALLY GET TO USE MY RAILGUN!"

[YOOOOOOOOOOO]

[Coco packing heat!]

[I swear she got that dawg in her!]

[what]

[THE ABSOLUTE MADLAD]

[jesus fucking christ the balls on this girl]

A few bullets from a machine gun mounted on a truck almost hit her.

"Oh kek!"

That one truck is directly behind the X-Squad dinghy and is about ready to take it down. But Kanade manages to fire her guitar at the driver, causing it to swerve out of control before crashing into a motorcycle.

"Hey, uh, am I the only one that notices that some of the guys look like anime, cartoons and clay dolls!?" Pecos asked.

"Yeah!" Grim said as he went up to the front seat and threw a few sticks of dynamite that were coming to the right, "What's up with that?!"

One of the hover cars is speeding on Kanade's side of the dinghy with the passenger saying, "Prepare to die, you filthy immigrants!"

Mera fired a few glass shards and double headshots the passenger and driver.

"Oh, hey. Wanna see a cool party trick I used to do? Aim me at those guys. Come on, come on, give it a shot. It'll be fun." Kenny said.

One of the hoverbike drivers got close to Pecos' side of the plane, "Your kind doesn't belong here!"

The one riding behind the driver says, "Yeah, black lives don't matter here in our America."

Pecos' whip turns into a MG-42 and fires at the bike. Causing it to catch fire, lose control and explode six feet away.

Pecos angrily shouts, "TIME TO DIE, YOU RACISTA BASTARDOS!"

Another hoverbike pair then tries to climb onto the hovercraft and try to burn it. But thanks to the shielding, they can't get in. Eleanor and Pecos aimed and fired at the two.

"STAY THE MIERDA AWAY FROM THE BELUGA!"

The plane got covered in glob and crashed into another KKK plane.

"Fuck yeah, told you! Did you see how fun that was? I call it my Glob Shot. It comes out of my Trick Hole. All Gatlians have a different kind of Trick Hole. Mine does this. Boy, you are learning a lot today, aren't you?" Kenny explained.

"What if we loaded your Trick Hole with C4?" Taylor asked.

"Hmmm, maybe make sticky bombs?" Kenny realized. "After we get back to the ship, let's do that."

On the driver side of the beluga, many machine gunners on the hovervans try to shoot at the beluga. When they realize that they aren't putting a dent into it, they are confused about what is going on. However, a rocket came out of nowhere and destroyed them. In actuality, it came from Pecos as he was controlling the rockets by manipulating the light to direct them.

"Take that, pendejos!" Pecos says.

[what is he saying? he's talking too fast]

"You'll get used to it." Roald snarked, shooting any Klan member that comes close to them with his axe/M1 Garand.

[light em up pogchamp]

[damn going for the any% carnage speedrun?]

IceCream Maiden: [Have you seen Pecos before?]

GatorGirl: [Welp, those bastards got the death boom.]

Momoko walks up to the front armed with a heavy machine gun, also from Doom: Eternal. As she looks at the opposition, one of the claymation KKK had their masks on backwards yet removed it. Momoko looks at the figure and immediately recognizes him. The man has black dots on his angry clay eyes, and has neat brown hair and eyebrows.

"Is that...Clay Puppington from Moral Orel?!" Momoko says as she recognizes the character.

"What's Moral Orel?" Zap asks.

"THAT'S RIGHT!" Clay shouts, "PREPARE TO BE DESTROYED, FILTH! PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE WHAT'S DESTROYING A-"

BOOM!

Clay and his fellows were melting and screaming as they did because the plane they were in exploded. From the west, they had more problems to deal with.

[OH MY GOD]

[lol]

[kek]

[HE DID NOT]

"Yeah he did." Taylor said.

[OMEGALUL]

IceCream Maiden: [LMAO]

[HE DID THO BRO]

[HE'S DED]

[OMEGALUL]

[ULTRAOMEGALUL]

[BRO I'M DYING]

"Let's hope not." Mera snarked.

[BRO I CAN'T BREATHE]

[HE ROASTED NOW]

"Uh-oh." Momoko said as she sees the new enemies arriving.

What is arriving are Bandits from Borderlands with air versions of their vehicles such as Cheta Paws, Out Riders, Bandit Technicals, Cara-Vans and Skagzilla Technicals. On one of the technicals, there is a bandit badass psycho standing on a tower of speakers that stands about three stacks while having his shoes strapped on it and playing an electric guitar.

Borderlands Bandits - Fear the Daggerbones indeed.

"What the fuck?" Satsuki says as she sees this new opposition. "Are those...bandits from Borderlands?"

"Hey, uh, guys?" Kanade said, "We have more company."

"Yeah, we can see it." Amanojaku says.

"Actually, we got something coming from the rear." Shinji explained.

Haijime says, "Giggity Giggity."

Coming from behind, another fleet of vehicles are joining in to add to the chaos. They are a bunch of regular air vehicles that are painted black yet some of them have graffiti on them. Some say, 'Man Yes!', 'Michael Bay Iz #One', a female symbol with a red circle and a diagonal slash, and many testosterone, anti-women messages. And another fleet with regular air vehicles painted pink yet some have graffiti on them. Some say 'Girl Yes!', 'Twilight Iz #One', a male symbol with a red circle and a diagonal slash, and many anti-men messages.

"We got meninists and feminists." Satsuki said, just done with this.

In one of the planes, many of the men were wearing black leather jackets with spikes and Michael Bay movie shirts, some had more stereotypical nerdy outfits and one of them had thick black glasses.

"WOO!" they all say.

One in a nerdy blue sweater vest and tan slacks outfit says in a stereotypical nerdy voice, "Time for us to prove how manly we are!"

One guy in a biker outfit goes, "Man yeah! Kill every fucker and rape women into submission!"

"YEAH!"

Meninists - 32 year olds acting like they're 10 years old again

In another plane, many of the women were wearing pink leather jackets and Twilight shirts, some had more nerdy outfits. One even had thick glasses.

"EEEE!" they all say.

"Time to show them girl power!" One in a sweater and a plaid skirt said.

"Girl yeah! Kill the men and make the weaker ones submit!" Another in a biker outfit said.

"YEAH!"

Feminists - Once a great group, now fallen into a dark age of egotism

Everyone was dumbfounded and confused about what Satsuki just said.

"I'm sorry, what did Exorcist say?" SkekSil asked

"Meninists. Basically the opposite of feminists. In other words, older men that haven't gone past the age of eleven. In other words, whiny man-children. While some feminists are great, now though, it's just whiny woman-children or misandrists." Satsuki explained.

Kanade was a bit disturbed, "So... Are they gay or...?"

"No, no they are not." Grim said.

[SHE DID NOT]

[OMEGALUL]

[SHE DID THO BRO]

[SHE MAY HAVE BEEN ON THE PURE EVIL WIKI, BUT AS OF NOW, SHE'S AN INNOCENT BABY]

"Oh, thanks for that." Kanade said.

Leo facepalms and says silently to himself, "This is the weirdest rip-off of Mad Max: Fury Road I've ever been a part of."

Hajime turned to Leo. "Did you say, Mad Max: Fury Road?"

"Yep, this is the weirdest thing ever." Leo stated.

Indus asks everyone, "Does anyone have a weapon I can borrow?"

Satsuki just spawns in the Unmakyr and gives it to Indus, "Here. Teach those morons a lesson."

"I will, for the honor of us."

Hibiki saw out the window again, "We also have another problem."

"Let me guess: SJWs." Kanade snarked.

"Nope. We got something and...um... Does anyone know any demons from a video game that involves heavy metal music?" Momoko asked.

Hajime answers, "Wait, is it the game Brutal Legend?"

Up ahead, they got a bunch of demonic-themed air vehicles with some having the front as razor-sharp teeth and eyeballs for headlights. Many of them are painted red or the color of flesh with many BDSM demons driving or riding on them. Yet some of them look like demonic chariots with some having motor engines while others have giant albatross demons similar to Bleeding Deaths that pull them and act like hawks while charging. And there are also imps on jetpacks armed with bombs.

Brutal Legend Demons - Love to break eardrums

Hibiki facepalms and groans. "What the fuck...?"

"If you don't like that." Kanade said, "Pretty sure you're not gonna like what else is coming."

"Let me guess:" Robin said, "More tied up, leather wearing oddities?"

Over at the meninist side, one group sees a flying truck with a Punishing Party whipping their bulky, muscular slave that has spears on his back. The demon dominatrices use their tails to slash at him.

"HEY!" one of the more nerdier members said, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT! ONLY A MAN CAN DO THAT!"

"YEAH!" says one in a biker outfit, "YOU GIRLS SHOULD BE THE ONES BEING TREATED LIKE THAT!" So he pulls out a dumbbell and hits one of them by throwing it.

One of the female demons was knocked off and fell dead with a broken horn. The others look at the meninists in their car and are not happy.

"Uh-oh." they both say.

The slave demon takes out handfuls of spears and jumps onto the jet. Many of the men screamed their dumbass soiled pants off and the slave demon stabbed the engine while Indus fired an Unmakyr blast at it, which caused it to explode. Taking some feminist vehicles with it.

Another meninist and feminist group in a van is beside one of the KKK look at them from their own truck and sees two black guys and some black girls in it.

One of the Klan members points and screams, "FILTH! FILTH! THEY HAVE FILTH WITH THEM!"

So the KKK have their guns out and try to shoot at the meninists and feminists while the meninists and feminists shoot back.

Then we have the Triple K meeting with the Tainted Coil's Tick Choppers (imps on jetpacks) as one of them screams out, "DEEEEEMMMOOOOONS!" "PURGE THE DEMONS!" One of the Tick Choppers just threw a bomb and destroyed the Triple K and their truck while giving them the middle finger. One of the Bandits from Borderlands tried to steer some of the meninists off the flyway and vice-versa. That is until a Bandit midget goes kamikaze as it jumps off. Some of the bandits in a Cara-Van jump off from the roof and jump onto one of the demon chariots and try hacking and slashing with hatchets made from lawnmower blades. Lots of gunfire, rocket fire, screams and explosions fill the highway along with many wrecks and corpses that litter it. Over five miles, fire and smoke can be seen with the smell of burnt corpses from humans and demons. All four factions fight over the prize on the road that is getting further and further away as the fighting continues with ceaseless and senseless violence and mayhem.

Sho looks at the radar and says, "Heads up! More integers are coming in!"

Keiichirou babbles incoherently while Satsuki just facepalms, "Great." She says in a sarcastic tone, "So who else is joinin' us in this fuck fest?"

Coming in are a bunch of air vehicles that look like they do come from a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Many of the people driving them consist of people covered in white powder with some gray clay pigments around the eyes and mouth and look like they are drugged up and hyped for what they are about to do. Including this one truck with a lot of speakers on it with one guy that is deformed while wearing some red rags with one leg having some boot with straps on it while the other leg is exposed to reveal his white pale skin and wearing a skull mask. He is also playing a custom-made guitar as he plays it despite being blind with both eyeballs gone. Yes, this is the Coma-Doof Warrior. And yes, this is the War Boys/Cult of the V8 coming in.

Cult of the V8/War Boys - Think it's a lovely day for mayhem

In a 2018 Chaparral 257 SSX, one of them happily screams, "WHAT A DAY! WHAT A LOVELY DAY!"

In the dinghy, Leo goes, "Soo... We're now under attack by Mad Max: Fury Road?"

Hajime says, "Oh, I loved that movie." Then he realized, "Oh shit."

Momoko pulls out a shotgun, "Yeah, I- Wait, I thought those guys only existed in Australia. Do all Mad Max movies take place in Australia?"

"They do, actually." Leo says as he tries to pick some form of bombs to use in his HUD. "Then why are they here?"

Everyone just shrugs with their arms up 'cause they have no idea why an Australian marauding cult would be on American soil.

Then Hibiki said, "And we have more shit coming."

Coming in from the west, there are strange people that look like life-size action figures. Which they are and riding in whatever post-apocalyptic air vehicles that match their themes. So there is a turkey with a red mohawk riding on a hoverboard while also wearing a leather jacket along with an ammo belt and metal shoulder pads. A jet with the driver being a guy wearing a white sheet, being a Halloween ghost, with a red bandana. That, and he has chains on his torso. Behind the ghost, there was someone wearing a Jack-o-lantern mask with a black hood and cloak. There is a cupid with his wings replaced with miniature jet engines and is armed with a crossbow while also being bald and wearing an eye patch over his right eye. A shirtless, hatless Uncle Sam using the American flag as a cape while driving a helicopter with painted stars and stripes. Yet there is also a chaingun on the hood of the helicopter and those bulldozer parts with spikes on the front. Dragging behind is some sort of cartoon tree action figure riding on a hoverbike as he tries to catch-up. Yet the strangest is a wooden carriage-like plane with spikes on a cylinder top and back along with six wooden reindeer silhouettes on the front. This vehicle is driven by a very muscular Santa Clause with a metal hockey mask, a red sash crossed with a metal ring with jingle bells, his Santa hat, and having red boots with white fluff on the rims.

"Ho-ho-ho!" Santa went as he whips the wooden reindeer over his mic.

Holiday Road Warriors - Holiday Icons turned Malicious Killers

Amanojaku looks over from the rear window of the beluga and goes, "Is that the holiday icons from Robot Chicken's Holiday Road Warriors, in the air?"

The beluga just comes to a complete stop as everything just goes past them because they are too busy trying to kill each other. Uncle Sam fires a rocket at one of the Bandit's cars that caused one of them to be flung. One Bandit saw the opportunity and sliced the head off of his fellow raider.

"YEE-HAA!" the guy went as he does a wheelie with his hoverbike. "Oh wait. I think I just killed Billy. Oops." Then gets shot in the head by one of Cupid's arrows.

Everyone on the hovercraft just gawks and were confused on what the hell is going on with the chaos still going on in front of them.

Back to that chaotic, high-speed war; a member of the KKK looks at Uncle Sam with an RPG, but just couldn't fire. He sighed, "Dammit! I can't kill Uncle Sam! He's an American icon!"

But Uncle Sam fired his gun at the jet and killed all four members of the Klan. As Uncle Sam flies by the wreck, "Fuck you, assholes!" he flips the bird, "You guys are no longer American!"

The Arbor Day Tree tries to catch-up, but gets sliced in half by the wing of the jet flying at him. Santa Clause fires a rocket from his wooden sleigh carriage beluga and destroys one of the Bandits' vehicles. One comes flying off as one of his buddies on a hoverbike came in and sliced the guy's head off.

"HELL YEAH!" he cheers but realizes, "Wait. I think I just killed Billy. Oops!" he looks back, "I'm a team killing fucktard." But gets killed by one of Cupid's arrows.

A jet full of War Boys then started to attack the Thanksgiving Turkey with their sticks. But the Turkey grabbed one of them, yanked one that caused one guy to fall, and stuck it in one of the cars. This caused the jet to swerve out of control that crashed right into a Tainted Coil chariot and exploded. But one of the Bandits shot the engine and caused him to crash. The jet then crashes into a Triple K plane and kills the driver. Causing the plane to swerve into a few Bandits, Tainted Coil, War Boys and other Triple K into one big giant mess of wrecks and bodies that stretch for almost a mile. Some managed to survive yet severely injured that they might die at any minute. So now the city is decorated with wrecks, bodies, blood, plastic/clay bodies, fake blood from those plastic/clay bodies, oil and gasoline set on fire, and many, many jet parts.

Back at the beluga, everyone just watched the massive battle of speed going on and have no idea what to make of it as they just look at it slack-jaw at the carnage of bodies and metal.

END BGM

"Um..." Sho said, "Did they just ignore us to go ahead and subtract each other?"

"Yep, they did." Brandon said.

[f for those dumbasses]

[f]

"That's our mood, chat." Mera said.

[f]

"Pay respect, chat." Albert said, then laughed.

"O.O And now we need more therapy. But eh, X-Squad FTW!" Coco said.

Then, on a rooftop hidden from view, 3 figures were watching through binoculars.

"Well congrats Sharkbit, the War Boys you tricked into attacking the X-Squad got killed trying to get rid of the opposition. Hope you're happy." The scarecrow-like monster, Wickblaze, said.

Wickblaze - Arsonistic Wicker Man

"Don't worry, Wickblaze. We'll get our prize soon enough, besides, those morons deserved it." The girl dressed like a shark, Sharkbit, said calmly.

Sharkbit - Shark Girl with a deadly bite

"And besides, we'll be ready for them when the time comes." The girl dressed like one of John Kramer's acolytes, Nicole Evans, said. "Now, let's go before they see us, everyone, we wouldn't want to be attacked before preparation."

Nicole Evans - New Jigsaw with a game always in mind.

"In time, Miss Evans," said a voice as the trio turned around, revealing to be a Chinese man wearing pale white traditional Chinese attire with long braided black hair on the back, Cheng Daijin. "My men have been sent to do the work of capturing those fools."

Cheng Daijin - Ancient Medicine Fanatic

"Woah! Don't ye go scarin' me like that, Cheng! I almost saw my life flash before my eyes!" Wickblaze said.

The quartet then teleported, the sound of fire blowing in the air.

On the other side of the city after the X-Squad headed there. A man, thin and pale, took a swig from a pint glass, which he then set delicately on a table. "Look at this crowd," he observed. "They just don't seem like they fit in, do they? Look at that dragon kid. What kind of idiot walks around this place wearing something that shows off how rich he is?"

A fluffy black cat sat on the other end of the table, his tail twitching. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" the cat asked.

The pale man, dressed all in black, grinned. "Easy pickings to rob."

The pale man, with the cat perched upon his shoulder, ducked and slithered through the temple of monsters, knowing now was his chance. He waited until Drakus turned around.

[Okay]

[Where we droppin', bois]

[PogChamp]

Drakus had felt the tug of the bag coming loose. "THIEF!" he suddenly cried. "HE'S STOLEN MY SHIT!" He bolted after him, heading for the waterfall. "He…will…PAY!"

[wait guys his bag got stolen]

[oh no]

[the thief's dead]

By that time, the X-Squad had got to the laundromat, so they decided to follow Drakus and the action right out the door.

"Alright, that has to be the way to 9-Torg. Let's keep moving." Kenny said.

The thief, Rémington Smisse, scrambled into the hallway. "Now, let's see what we've picked up…" As he opened the purse, his eyes widened.

Rémington Smisse - Best thief on the World of Twelve

"Hey, careful with the merchandise, buddy! We've got a buyer lined up and everything, you already threw the knife into a furnace, this has to work, or 9-Torg will execute us." A voice on the other side of the door said. "They're gonna be here any minute. Just- just... patient!"

"Oh, fuck you! Once I get out, I'll tear through your guts!" Another voice, this time a girl, said.

"Oh, I think they're talking about Gene's knife." Kenny's voice rang.

"Let me see!" The cat, or, more accurately, Rémington's human brother Grany in the form of a cat, craned his neck to get a look. "Let me see! …What is that?"

Grany Smisse - Cat and definitely a bit cuckoo

"It's…full of who knows what," Rémington observed. "Some sort of clock with a panda on it, a chicken bone with gems on it…it's valuable, I think." He removed a miniature table and rocked it between his fingers. "Let's see what they do."

He chucked the table a few meters, at which point it expanded to its full size, revealing itself not only to be a perfectly functioning table but one with a marble top and ornately carved legs with gargoyle-head patterns: a relic Drakus' mentor, Avalonko, had picked up on an adventure long in the past because she knew it would be of use.

"YOU! THIEF!"

His attention was drawn by the shrill shriek of his name. He and Grany turned to see Drakus storming across the center toward them, smoke practically coming out of his nostrils. As he got closer, his Drakonian instincts kicked in, and lightning came out of his nostrils.

"You think you can just take my mentor's bag and then GET AWAY WITH IT?" Drakus raged.

"I, er…" Rémington backed up a step. Something about the anger in his eyes gave him cause to worry and an instinct that maybe, just maybe, this was a fight he shouldn't pick. "I didn't…wait, so you mean…?" He kept on backing up until his heel was on the edge; any further and he would end up on a deadly tumble. "This?" He held up the purse. "This is mine."

Grany, knowing a skirmish was coming, hopped down off Rémington's shoulder and cowered under the table.

"Don't try to tell me that isn't the Table of Raizo!" Drakus insisted, pointing to the heavy furniture.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rémington replied.

"You made me mad," Drakus crowed, "and now you're going to pay for it!" He morphed into a giant striking deep blue lizard monster with spikes of a very light beige color, a Lagiacrus. He pawed the floor once with a claw, making marks on it.

Rémington adopted a look of horror. Drakus charged straight for him, and he stood still until the last moment, then jumped over Drakus and ran to the other side of the circle.

Drakus turned around and charged toward Rémington with a roar of rage.

At the center of the room, Grany watched, wondering if he should get involved but not quite sure how he could and survive the attempt.

Rémington opened fire. But Drakus evaded all his shots, able to predict where they'd land and leaping from side to side to avoid even being so much as scraped…except for the last shot, which slightly singed his scales. He lunged at Rémington.

Unfazed, he leapt, higher than him, flipping forward, planting his hands on the shoulder blades and using him as a vault to complete the somersault and land on the other side of him. As Rémington turned to fire, he realized he felt exhilarated, alive. Something he'd felt devoid of for years, despite being involved with an array of interesting people. As he fired the next shot, he laughed, the sound of his gleeful voice intermingling with the BANG-BANG-BANG of the pistols. He did not by any means intend to miss…but he hoped that he would evade. The thought of Drakus expiring and ending the game so soon dismayed him.

Then Drakus appeared behind him, picked him up by the cape with his claw, turned to his normal self, and smiled. The X-Squad walking in.

"Stealing from me was a pretty bold move," Drakus remarked. "You obviously don't know who I am. Which would make sense, since I am new to you and all, but still, I would think you could tell that I'm powerful enough not to be messed with, so don't try it again, or you'll feel my true might."

Rémington flinched.

"All right," Rémington relented. "I wouldn't even try to steal that gun thing, whatever Shushu it might be. Not just with me and Grany, anyway."

"What are we?" one of Rémington's guns asked. "It's NEVER just you and him."

"YOU are tools," Rémington snapped. "Now shut up and let me talk business. What do you need this for, exactly?"

"Well, we need what's behind that door." Roman explained.

"I just thought if I was going to help you with this," Rémington stated, "I might as well know what I was helping you achieve. It does sound dumb though."

"Who said you were coming with us? And trust us, you'll understand when you get there." Kanade growled.

"You seem like the toughest customers on the block," Rémington explained. "Running with you only seems natural."

"Conference. X-Squad only."

Drakus, Julie, Zap, Neo, Asami, Roman, Hibiki, Kanade, Pecos, Roald, Sho, Coco, Hajime, Satsuki, Momoko, Keiichiro, Amanojaku, Leo, Metal Gear Rex, Louise, Celestia, Muty, Harry, Danny, Robin, Laura, Underling, Cyclonis, Sapphire, Monty, Aria, Jasmine, Malcho, Bangray, Jeeves, Taylor, Albert, Grim, Mimi, Sheshe, Lila, Namue, Brandon, Eleanor, Kenny, Mera, Indus and skekSil huddled some distance away from the Smisses. "He is pretty good with a gun," Mimi pointed out. "And he was brave enough to steal from us and quick enough to get away for some distance. He might be useful."

"I like him," Drakus said, matter-of-fact. "I say we take him along!"

"And how do we know we can trust him?" Hibiki hissed. "Even you, Drak! He just spent the past few minutes trying to shoot you!"

"We could always just kill him if he leads us astray," MG Rex suggested. "We're more than a match for him."

"Point," Kanade relented.

[I like the pale boi, PogChamp]

IceCream Maiden: [I say we add him.]

Gator: [He'll be fun]

[y e s]

[who are these people i've never seen them before]

[why do i feel like i shouldn't ask too many questions?]

DrakBot: [You shouldn't keep asking, child :)]

[oh]

Meanwhile, the Smisses were having a conference of their own. "You know if you even put a toe out of line, they'll kill you," Grany warned.

"I know," Rémington told him. "But if I go with them, I might get a cut of the profits."

"How do you know they're going to sell the living gun?"

"What else could they want to do with it?"

"Use it," Grany told him. "The same way what's-his-face did with the Eliacube. The Eliatrope with one arm."

"That could work in our favor too," Rémington mused.

"Are you seriously just doing this for that dragon kid?" Grany sighed. "There are other people out there!"

"He's different," Rémington argued. "I can't really explain it. He was the first since Eva that made me feel so…alive. Besides, he's too young for my tastes."

"You know what he and Eva had in common? Both of them TRIED TO KILL YOU. Is that what turns you on now?"

"It just might be," Rémington mused.

"Fine," Grany groaned. "Take the suicide mission."

"You don't have to come if you don't want to."

"Who else is going to make sure you don't get killed, Rémy? Besides, if we do score something good, I want a piece!"

Rémy ruffled the fur on his brother's back. "That's the Grany I know."

The Shushu weapons chimed in: "Are you serious?"

"We've only just met them."

"This is going to go as well as all your OTHER bright ideas."

"When I want your opinions," Rémington snapped, "I'll ask for them."

The conference broke. "We decided," Kanade said, "you're on the team. You get to come with us to save Earth from an intergalactic crime syndicate."

"Welp, this is gonna be fun." Rémington teased.

"How does the potential Shushu fit into all this?" Grany added.

Drakus took the lead, stepping forth and offering his left hand. "Welcome aboard," he said. "Whatever your name is."

"Rémington Smisse," Rémington introduced. He put out his right hand upon instinct. "And you are?"

"Name's Drakus Hydrax, Prince of Drakonia."

"Is this gonna be a nightmare ride?" Grany asked.

[Ye, the ride never ends with the Drak Gang]

[wait, don't your bones become stronger when they break?]

[yeah, why?]

[WAIT]

"Erm, what's going on with this thing?" Rémy asked.

[break all your bones to become invincible, my liege]

[DON'T]

[P O W E R]

"This is the chat, Rémy, Grany." Drakus explained. "It's a hot mess from here."

"Shut it, bitch. We've had enough of your bullshit." The first voice said.

"Yeah, it's your fault Stevulax is dead! I was in love with him, did you know that?" A third voice said. "I loved him. And now his head's cut off."

"Well, it didn't look good anyway." The second voice said.

"Hey. Guess what. I have another secret trick you can use: the power of negotiation." Kenny said.

"It's true!" Roald said.

"Team Trickster for life!" Lila said.

"Most definitely, my comrades." skekSil said.

"Let's try reasoning with these guys. Knock on the door. Tell me how you wanna play this." Kenny suggested.

"Oh, you insufferable pricks! When I'm loose...oh ho ho, you're not gonna wanna see what kind of shit's gonna happen." The second voice said.

"Fuck you! I should just toss you off the building!" The third voice said.

"This is some fine soap opera shit!" Amanojaku said, smiling.

"Baby, ignore him. She's just trying to get to you." The first voice said.

"Thanks, hun. You- you really know how to calm me down. You know, now that I think of it, it's kind of a good thing Stevulax died, 'cause I found you, right?" The third voice said.

"Aw... babe... love you too." The first voice said.

"Oh, cool. They're in love. That's nice." Kenny said.

Lila knocked on the door.

"Huh? Who's there? Who are you?" The first voice said.

"Uh... hey. Hello there, friends." Lila said.

"Oh, uh, uh, I think it's the buyer!" The first voice said. "Hey! Are you the buyer?"

"No, it is Stevulax, I'm back from the grave." Grim said.

"What? Oh my god, baby, you're alive! Your voice sounds different, though..." The third voice said.

"Play along, no shooting everyone." Kanade said.

The X-Squad walked on in, seeing a gray ant alien and a red ant alien and a small nurse with a mask on, Minami, tied up.

"Wait! You're not my dead lover Stevulax... you're just a pack of weirdos! Oh, what a good trick. You tricked me. Nice job!" The gray ant said.

"Heh. They told us this buyer was a real prankster and traveled with a bodyguard entourage!" The red ant said.

"True, true." Kanade said. "You should see what I did on Blitznak-5, that archduke never stood a chance."

"Oh, you, come on! That was pretty fucked up! That joke is gonna fuck me upl"

The red ant laughed for a bit. "You got him good! Okay though, but enough of that. Uh, let's show them the product."

"Alright, here's the product. Minami Shinotenshi, a murderous nurse and medical examiner. I gotta be honest with you: She's a real screwed up piece of shit. Something to do with her brother dying." The grey ant explained.

"She's extremely violent. She basically can talk about how people die and how to kill people in very disturbing ways in a casual manner." The red ant added.

"Hey now, let me out, or else I'll carve out your anal cavity, make it three times as big." Minami said.

"Heh, see what I'm talking about?" The red ant joked.

"Oh, uh... perfect. That's exactly what we're looking for." Lila said. "What did they do with the knife?" Lila whispered to Rémy.

"Um, something about tossing it into a furnace?" Rémy answered. "I wasn't paying attention."

"Shit. That could've been useful." Exzom said.

"Yeah yeah, great. Go ahead, feel free to inspect her. Let her work with you, see how she meshes with you." The gray ant said.

"Yes, please do free me. Then, let's go psycho on these fuckers." Minami pleaded.

Hibiki then untied her, and Minami smiled.

"Thank you! Pleased to meet you, I'm Minami Shinotenshi. Now let's kill some fuckers!" Minami exclaimed taking a scalpel, slitting the grey one's throat while plunging it between the red one's eyes, and the cracking of bone fills her ears. The red one flails for a brief second before his entire body slackens. He twitched once, twice, and then frozen, his terrified face his final mask, Minami shuddering all the while.

Minami Shinotenshi - Former Twenty Faces member and darkly humorous

"Look out, 9-Torg, I'm after you next!" Minami cheered.

"Huh? You know 9-Torg? We're trying to kill her." Kenny explained.

"Well, that's perfect. Finally we're on the same page. Let's kill 9-Torg. Then go out for beer. Besides, the pale one does look pretty." Minami said.

[ravioli, ravioli, protect the nurse loli]

[yes, we need more crazy up in here]

[oh shit]

[she's assertive]

[well mark me down as scared and horny]

[mera, marry this girl]

[jesus we really want them to kiss, don't we]

[is that such a bad thing?]

[no, but aren't there other steps they need to go through first? They just met!]

[minami looks like she wants a bit more than just a kiss]

[she looks like she just found a delectable snack]

[i mean]

[look at mera]

[she is a snack]

"Minami," Mera said with wide eyes, looking down at Minami. "That's…you're…you're awesome. You know that, right?"

"I know," Minami said, pulling down her mask. They both shut their eyes, pressing their lips together, sharing a kiss that shook their world.

[YOOOOOOOOOOOOO]

[achievement get: got a girlfriend]

[WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]

[ship has sailed. I repeat, ship has sailed! this is not a drill!]

[meranami everyone!]

[HELL YEAH, BROTHER!]

[all aboard the hype train!]

[there ain't no brakes!]

[we don't need brakes bro]

[FULL STEAM AHEAD]

"Okay, but how do we get out of here?" Kenny asked.

"With a grappling hook, no duh!" Minami said, shooting the hook up while the ones that could fly carried the rest up.

"Now, where to next?" Kanade asked.

"The Goddess statue. 9-Torg was talking about some traitor she had to deal with. Probably another one of her clones. 5-Torg or 6-Torg or whatever. I don't know there's too many now, there's too many torgs!" Minami explained.

The X-Squad's plane then sped across the sky as it approached the statue where a three headed dragon robot was trying to bite it apart.

"At last! The moment of victory is in our grasp. When this statue is destroyed, the whole world will be ours! Orowchee, do your thing!" Lammbo said.

"Any last words, 5-Torg?" The mantis, 9-Torg said to her clone, 5-Torg.

"Wait, is that 9-Torg talking?" Kenny realized.

"Fuck off. I've always said you were the worst Torg!" 5-Torg said.

"You know 7-Torg, 8-Torg, 6-Torg, 4-Torg, 3-Torg, 2-Torg and 1-Torg said the same things right before I killed them." 9-Torg said, chuckling.

"Damn you!" 5-Torg shouted.

"And you're next." 9-Torg said, blasting 5-Torg's head off.

9-Torg - Cold blooded matriarch, shouldn't be underestimated

"Well, let's fire some missiles at the thing." Blue shouted.

"Negative! We'd hit the statue by mistake." Nelson said.

"And there's also another reason. There's a kid in there!" Roman shouted.

The screen came on visual to see a familiar face. "Oh, no…. Luka!" Red said.

Orowchee ripped the statue up and took flight, Luka in tow. As the monster took off, the heroes gave chase after it. "We need to get the statue before they destroy the generator inside." Red said.

"There's another reason that statues are important?" Albert asked.

"Indeed, that statue is holding one of five super reactors necessary to power Margarita." Nelson said. "Alice! Full speed ahead. Wonderful 100, I'm approving the use of Unlimited Form! Make the most of it, and get me back my Goddess!"

"You sure? That's a risky move, going all out." Anubis said. "If the Shirogane drives overheat, they'll explode, taking us with it."

"Still, we must take the chance. Unlimited Form, initiating!" Red shouted. He slammed his drive, removing the limiter on it. Striking a few poses, he then gave a thumbs up, a mask appearing on his face. "Unlimited form...activated!" The Wonderful Ones said, masks appeared on all their faces.

"Incredible! Not even Orowchee's sharp teeth can break through this thing!" Lammbo said as he was riding Orowchee. "Guess we'll take a little trip to the Stratosphere and drop it. Hahahaha!"

Just then, the X-Squad leapt onto the platform.

"So, bounty hunters are here for me, huh?" 9-Torg joked. "Well, you're gonna have to fight for it."

Just then, a black and white wolf spider-like monster wearing a green and gold futuristic cowboy outfit jumped down from the ceiling along with Cheng Daijin, Nicole Evans, Wickblaze and Sharkbit.

"Well, well. Looks like it's my lucky day." The spider monster said in a cowboy accent. "Name's Tsuhinoise, the others are Cheng Daijin, Sharkbit, Wickblaze and Nicole Evans and we're here to take you down and to Her Cold Excellence. So better be ready to be captured and taken to miss Kiko."

Tsuhinoise - His species is the ancestor of Tsuhigumo, gives great fashion advice.

"Let's recap. Here we are, servants of the greatest crime organization of the omniverse, my mind overflowing with schemes and plans. And then there's you, a band of buffoons whose intent, it would appear on thwarting said plans. Maybe it's the psycho in me, but I'd say this whole situation is primed for a bloodbath." Nicole explained nonchalantly.

"And who's Cheng?" Drakus asked.

"He's one of Area 51's prime suspects. A Chinese doctor who almost got his doctorate in medical school, until he later got kicked out for using old Chinese medicines. Ancient Chinese medicine was thought to have both healing properties and magical powers. But even though it proved inaccurate, many still use these for rituals or other illegal purposes. When the university kicked him out for illegal practices on making medicine using parts of an endangered animal, he went mad and started collecting animals to make his medicine stock and then sell to the black market. Ever since then, Area 51 aims to put a stop to his treachery."

"Medicine? Like a tiger cough drop or a tiger pain reliever?" said Hibiki.

"More like a tiger potion made with only the bones." said Kanade.

"Killing animals, just to make lousy medicine!?" said Hibiki.

"What?! No! I would never do that, I get mine through more dignified means, like corpses, or auctions. The animals were just to show which part would be useful." Cheng clarified.

[man looks like he got corona tho]

[it true]

[petition to get Cheng some chapstick]

[yes, please do]

"Not on our watch!" Drakus said as the Virgin Victory was right behind them.

"What? The Cosplay Brigade returns? Along with those heroes! No matter. Orowchee's more than enough to take them down!" Lammbo said. Orowchee tossed the statue up into the air and roared in all its ferocity.

"A giant three headed cyborg dragon? Kinda reminds me of the Hewdraw from Kid Icarus a little bit." Momoko said. "Except these guys don't argue as much."

"Let's give these aliens a reason to call us heroes! Team, Unite Up!" Red shouted.

"Roger!" they all said before forming a large red hand and grabbing onto the wing of the monster.

"Let's go too!" Drakus said. The heroes jumped onto the body of the beast and faced down two of its heads. One head bumped into the other, and they started growling at each other.

Just then, a large plane sped up to them. Then, a hatch in the plane opened up, and out jumped three guys in suits sporting outrageous hairstyles.

"Drakus Hydrax!" shouted the central one, turning to Drakus and holding out an official looking badge in his face, "I'm 'Agent J', and we're the Elite Beat Agents, here to motivate you to kick those villains' butts! What do you say?"

"Huh?!" Drakus said.

Agent J paused. "That's an odd thing to say at a time like this."

Then, Drakus sat down in a fetal position, wondering what was going on.

"Uh, sir?" said one of the other agents, "I think he broke. We might as well head for the hills."

"Too late for that, boys." Agent J replied. "No turning back. That's the EBA motto."

"Now listen, chumps... I'm in a good mood. Me and my fellow villains just want to have a chat with these people. Walk away and we'll let you go, no strings attached." Nicole negotiated.

"Turn on the first song!" the leader shouted.

The third unnamed agent held out a small device, and turned it on. Instantly, the room was filled with the heavy sounds of "Through Fire".

"There's nothing human, nothing at all! There's nothing human about me now..."

Drakus continued to sit motionless.

[c'mon Drakus]

[get up and use da smooth]

[i'm mashing the wake up button as hard as I can]

[mash harder]

[i'm trying bro]

[fuck dude my fingers are hurting ]

DrakBot: [SPAM IT]

"He's totally unresponsive!"

"Then try another song!"

This time Blacklite District's techno-rock music filled the air.

"I'm ready for the bright lights, high life, Everybody's feelin' right!"

"Still nothing!"

"Keep going!"

Next, Digital Summer's melodic symphony filled the air.

"Come on, come on you wanna dance with the devil? Come on, come on you better pray for a miracle!"

"Sir! He still hasn't responded, and we're fresh out of songs!"

Agent J said nothing. He thought back to all his training, of those brutal days of sadistic choreography, angry sergeants, and really bad taste in music. He knew that his leadership was solely responsible for carrying out the mission. And in desperate time, he knew he was required to make snap life-or-death decisions that would decide the fate of him and his team members.

And he knew that this was one of those times.

"Not quite." The orange-haired agent said, "Bring out… Element 'S'."

"Sir, are you crazy?!" the other agent began to sweat, "Element 'S' is untested and nearly violates the Geneva Convention! There's no telling what effect such a concentration of pure symphony rock might have on this guy!"

Agent J sighed. "Soldier, am I your superior officer?"

Yes sir."

"Do you doubt my leadership?"

"No sir."

"Then activate Element 'S'. That's an order."

The agent gulped, and pressed another button on his little radio device.

An instant later, everyone in the room drew out their weapons as the melody of "Waiting on the Sky to Change" by Starset blasted out from every direction. Immediately, the agents broke into a dance.

[oh shit]

[It's Starset]

[STARSET]

[oh shit Starset?!]

[It's their most recent song too!]

"What's a Starset?" Rémington asked.

"Well, this should be more fun than one of those rodeos." Tsuhinoise said, drawing out a machete.

"Oh, I see," said Cheng as he clapped his hands, "Some amateur heroes and the poacher of poachers? How interesting." Henchmen dressed like samurai started running up to him, holding various weapons. One Dough-Goo carried Cheng's weapon: a large Dao (Chinese broadsword) with nine rings on the back of the blade. Cheng laughed as Wickblaze, Sharkbit and Nicole Evans got into fighting stances and 9-Torg readied her plasma claw, ready to fight against either side. "This should be fun."

As the chords and silly dance moves continued, the dragon prince suddenly leapt to his feat, and wordlessly drew out BlueBlaze.

"Let's do it." Drakus said.

[oh shit]

[he's really gonna be laying on the hands]

[and i thought his revive rolls were good]

"Oh definitely." Minami agreed.

"This'll be fun." Grim added, smiling sadistically.

BGM: Waiting on the Sky to Change (Starset feat. Breaking Benjamin)

Drakus started off by shooting a surge of lightning at Cheng, who parried it.

"Whatever this kid is, his tail would make a good use as a lucky charm." Cheng vowed.

Jasmine backflipped and was surrounded by Clurkrahnnas, but she swerved around their attacks, and kicked them all hard, sending them flying into eachother and tripping them up.

"Aw, yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about!"

Grim punched one henchman, and then sliced another. Then he saw one henchman pick up a geranium in a flowerpot to throw at him. "No, you don't!" Grim shouted and he rushed the henchman, tackling it to the ground, and then he swiftly grabbed the flower pot before it fell and set it down. "There you go."

Cruel he may be, Grim has a soft spot for life.

Taylor was held at the wrists by a Negatone, but they flipped the creature over. Then, two more came at them for a sneak attack, but Albert came leaping in and split kicked the creatures away.

The two nodded at one another, promising to look out for each other when needed.

[how much money we putting on Cyclonis wanting some of the dragon]

[why take a bet that's already won?]

[how can you tell?]

[look into the eyes, those are the eyes of a beast that hungers for Zinnia]

[nah they look purple to me]

Mr. Irwin: [and here we see the wild Cyclonis in her natural habitat. this species has been known for its homosexuality, and its desire to have a mate. Why does this occur, scientists are still unsure]

[when did this turn into a documentary?]

[Steve Irwin came back from the dead to narrate some horny chick, fuckin slick dude]

Exzom started blowing some blue powder into Wickblaze's eyes, blinding him.

"Ugh! Damnit, what's with these people?!?!" Wickblaze said, exasperated with the battle.

Tsuhinoise slashed his machete at Drakus, but Satsuki defended with her bo staff, and parried him back, striking him hard. Hibiki hit a high note and fired a huge blast of pink energy, making sparks and explosions that blew him back hard.

"Oh! I love this thing!" Hibiki exclaimed as she stroked her microphone.

"Okay, two can play that game! Try and stop this!" Tsuhinoise launched a burst of fire from his revolver at them. "Oh, no you don't!" shouted Momoko as she leapt in the way and held up a shield blocking the blast, much to Tsuhinoise's shock.

"Now, try and end this!" shouted Tsuhinoise, and he began to charge, but Haijime lassoed him with a whip. "Sorry, line's more tied than a Barney Bunch video." And he yanked on him hard making him spin like a twister and he fell to the ground dizzy and weary.

"X-Squad, if you can hear me, combine your weapons into one. It will help you take down the monster." Anubis said in their heads.

"What, combine our weapons?!" snapped Kanade.

"But how can we?" asked Leo.

"Please, for the love of self, just do it." Anubis said, facepalming.

"Right, everyone ready?" Drakus asked.

"Um, what?!" One of Rémington's Shushu weapons asked.

"Did we consent?!" Another asked.

The X-Squad activated a switch that appeared on their weapons, triggering an auto-voice (picture Slimecicle), "Weapons Combine!"

Kanade's guitar was first, then with Hibiki's microphone at it's top, Neo's umbrella on one side, and Minami's scalpels on another side, then the other weapons cobbled together into a giant dragon skull, which connected to the end of Pecos' whip, like a weapon on a chain.

"Drake Jawslammer Ready!"

The rangers all stood together as Drakus held the weapon. "Okay, let's see what this thing can do."

Arachnoise finally shook himself to his senses and saw the heroes, "Hey, what are you doing with that?"

"DRAKE JAWSLAMMER, HYPER-STRIKE!" The heroes shouted, and Drakus whirled the weapon on its chain around and around, and thrust it towards the monster. The end of the weapon glowed brightly like a shining star.

"Oh great Cra, I'm gonna barf." Rémington's sword said.

"Oh shit!" shouted Tsuhinoise as the skull slammed right into him. His body began to jolt and spark with bright bolts of lightning and stars shooting out from him. "AAAIIIIIEEEEE!" he screamed… and then, he crashed into 9-Torg, impaling her, tossing a mandible to the X-Squad.

"Now to cut em' off!" Drakus said. "Bangray?"

"Fine by me!" Bangray shouted, slashing both of the heads off of their bodies.

"My beloved Orowchee! And in one hit, too! Now I'm gonna-" Lammbo didn't finish his sentence as they all crashed into a high rise. But by crashing into it, the goddess fell out of the monster's mouth. "Well, this should be high enough anyway. Say goodbye to your blossom." Lammbo said.

"Team, Let's get her back!" Red said. They jumped from falling rubble to the statue, the remaining head trying to impede their progress.

"Unite Sword!" Blue said making a sword to block a laser from a nearby drop ship, before knocking it into the monster's mouth.

"Unite Gun!" Green shouted as the gun was built with it firing at the ship, making it explode.

"Not so fast, worms! My Dechno-Bo would like to have a word with you, DIE!" Lammbo said charging. Blue, Drakus and Neo all deflected the slashes one by one, knocking Lammbo's sword away and into the air.

"Unite Build!" Red shouted as they formed a large arrow at the Blossoms bow. Rémy jumped on the edge and the arrow was fired, piercing Lammbo. Rémy then dashed down to Lammbo, sword glowing, and in one strike, sliced him and Orowchee in half.

"Magnifique! I have not seen anyone handle a sword like that! Not even from Blue." Green said to Roald.

"It's no problem at all." Rémy said.

"I call shenanigans! This is not possible!" Lammbo shouted.

"HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?! We sliced you in TWAIN, you GEATHJERK demon!" Drakus exclaimed.

"You should have stayed away, Lammbo. My subordinates are even less forgiving than I was." Nelson said.

"Wonder Red! I should have known!" Lammbo shouted. "Curse you and your minions!" he tried to draw a dagger, but it was in half as well. Lammbo kept falling.

"Jeez, you're strong, you have my respect, kid." Tsuhinoise then burst into laughter. "Such camaraderie! Such teamwork! Truly, you are worthy opponents! I am honored to have been bested by you. Well done, X-Squad! Well done indeed!"

"Whoa!" cried Hibiki.

"I can't believe that just happened!" squeaked Roald.

[Sonic boom bitch]

[no relation to the series]

[This is truly a Fortnite Match on steroids]

[#1 Victory bitches]

"So, you managed to take down Tsuhinoise. You shall indeed be fascinating opponents," Cheng agreed. "But remember, this is merely the first round. We aren't finished here today just yet."

"Huzzah!" Wickblaze cheered enthusiastically.

"Tsuhinoise's gonna come back big!" Sharkbit added. "Isn't that great?"

Nicole nodded, chuckling.

"So, how is Tsuhinoise here going to be enlarged for the second round?" Bangray asked them. "A magic spell? An innate ability? Space lasers? Hopefully not space lasers, those are kind of played out."

Nicole smiled and shook her head. "Nope, not space lasers." She snapped her fingers as she, Cheng, Wickblaze and Sharkbit leapt into a portal. "Yamimech! It's feeding time!"

The eyes of one of the robotic serpents making up Kiko's palace ship lit up. It reared back its head, shrieked, then dove into the ground, burrowing into a portal.

END BGM

Agent J came up and wrapped his arms around the dragon prince. "Huzzah!" he said, "Thanks to our motivational song-and-dance routine, as well as the power of rock, you were able to beat that spider monster in combat!"

"Well, that was a shitshow." Grany snarked.

"That's the spirit!" Agent J laughed, "Now if you excuse me: Duty calls!" He then jumped back into the plane, and sped off.

"Aw man..." The 2nd agent groaned, with a large beat of sweat appearing on the back of his head, "Looks like he left us behind. Again."

The third agent sighed. "Relax. He'll come back for us eventually. Let's get some sushi in the meantime." The two agents then shuffled off to parts unknown.

"Well, Tronos, you're part of the squad now, get ready to fight Kiko Desmond-Winterfoot and the crime syndicate, Deadlight."

[Who?!]

"The villain we're fighting." Drakus explained.

[Is she hot?]

"Yep." Kanade said.

[I'm imagining a girl with tight curves and big boobs]

[No, this ain't the hub]

GatorGirl: [What's the hub?]

[Don't look it up until you're older]

GatorGirl: [Too late, I've seen things I didn't know existed.]

[oh no]

GatorGirl: [Why do people like the idea of step-siblings fucking?]

[closest thing to doing what Alabama residents do]

"Hate to break it to you, but Kiko ain't that type of girl, she dresses like a street thug with ice magic, but she does look pretty." Drakus said.

The ground started shaking, and a moment later the serpent head erupted from the sludge, rising high above the slums and screeching again, its cries echoing across the city.

The X-Squad stared up at the head in awe. "Holy crap, it's bigger than a Goliath!" Roman cried.

"The Giants could totally take it," Zap insisted, though he didn't sound entirely certain.

"Are we going to have to fight that thing at some point?" Julie worried.

"Probably," Kanade murmured.

Drakus grimaced."We're going to need bigger help."

The mechanical serpent bent down to observe them, its red eyes regarding the ninjas with complete disinterest, clearly unimpressed. It shifted his gaze to Tsuhinoise, shrieked again, and opened its mouth and started inhaling, sucking him, 9-Torg's corpse, Laambo and Orowchee into its mouth.

"Tsuhinoise!" Drakus cried in horror.

"Don't worry," the spider alien assured him as he vanished into the serpent's gullet. "I'll be fine! I've done this before!"

Once Orowchee had been inhaled, the serpent shrieked once more and then retreated back into the portal from which it had emerged, popping back up again on Kiko's ship. All eight serpents started writhing and dancing, their cries blending together into an oddly harmonious melody as energy crackled around them and the lights of the palace brightened in intensity.

A large bulge moved up the length of one of the serpent's bodies, and the mechanical beast opened its mouth and spat a massive projectile at the city. As it screamed through the air, the projectile uncurled to reveal itself to be a gargantuan Tsuhinoise, fully recovered and his body having wings, fire, Laambo's tail and 9-Torg's plasma claw.

He landed with an impact strong enough to send tremors throughout the city, leveling all the buildings surrounding him and causing car alarms to go off miles away. As he spread his arms, the skies once again darkened and webs appeared, blanketing the city, he bellowed, "Ready for round two?"

Anubis, Chill Penguin, Tock, Taurus Bulba, Yuma, Trifa and Pascal saw everything.

"I wouldn't have believed it to be possible!" exclaimed Chill.

Anubis struggled with an idea and he decided on only one idea. "Launch the Argana!"

"Sir?" Trifa said in shock "But they're not ready yet. We haven't thoroughly tested them after their last scuffle."

"And what finer way to test them than right now?" asked Anubis, as Taurus knew he was right.

As much as Taurus wasn't too keen on the idea, he was inclined to agree. What was five years anyway compared to the lives of so many and some important study into what the adjustments do? "Prepare for launch."

Pascal sighed, "You always have ways of making people agree with you."

Anubis spoke to the heroes, "Hold on, X-Squad… help is on the way!"

In the hangar bay, everyone was running about to their stations and getting well out of the way as the fully-fueled and ready zords were prepared for launch.

One looked like a pale blue dragon robot. One looked like a giant green robot dove. One looked like the Leviathan of Hebrew myth. One was a robotic orange canine. One was a chameleon robot colored brown, pink and white. One was a robotic purple barracuda. One was a large robotic panda. One was a large blood red robotic porcupine. One was a large robotic penguin colored cyan. One was a large silver robotic duck. One was Bangray's ship, Yaban Great. One was a large golden Jararaca pit viper. And one was a giant robotic silver wolf.

The Argana Zords were programmed to taxi forward to the front of the hanger. The bay hatch opened wide revealing a long launch tunnel.

"Chill, you have the honors." Anubis said.

Chill nodded and he flipped the switch on his console as the auto-voice called out, "Summon Zords!"

The thrusters fired and the 13 Zords and one jet zoomed out the hangar through the tunnel, soaring all the way to a portal and flying out through a secret doorway.

"It certainly was a mighty good fight at that, but you didn't really need to make that much of a mess."

Startled, the heroes whirled around to see the zords standing right behind them.

"My baby!" cried Bangray, looking at his ship, Yaban Great, in awe.

Torchwick turned to Drakus. "Dibs on Hound Zord!" The new Zord barked as Torchwick laughed.

"I get the Leviathan Zord." Zap said.

"I guess the Porcupine Zord's the one for me." Pecos said.

"Penguin Zord, I like it." Roald said.

"I got the Barracuda Zord." Jasmine said.

"I pick the Dove Zord." Julie said.

"I vote for Panda Zord." Kanade said.

"I want the Duck Zord." Robin suggested.

"Guess I'm getting the Dragon Zord." Drakus said.

"I get the Viper Zord." Minami said.

"I'll have the Wolf Zord." Grim said.

The zords then shot out multi-colored tractor beams, beaming the heroes into the cockpit.

[Ayo what the fuck?]

[This looks like a Power Rangers cockpit, and I love it]

IceCream Maiden: [This feels like a nightmare, but in a good way, I get the Chameleon Zord]

"Seriously, you got here fast," Hibiki remarked.

"Yes indeed," Panda Zord told her.

"Wait, really? But how did we not see you?" Asked the startled Roman.

"Well, we are basically the Flash on steroids," the Hound Zord reminded.

"Huh, didn't know that."

"Drakus, child, while I am proud of how well your techniques are coming in, in the future, you don't need to do so many destructive ones," the Dragon Zord told him.

The Dove Zord nodded. "Even if you can't see us, rest assured, we will be nearby."

"Very reassuring, and slightly creepy," Celeste remarked.

"Come, comrades!" The Viper Zord bellowed, revving against the ground. "It has been far too long since we've last seen combat!"

"Yes, let us remedy that," The Chameleon Zord agreed a little too gleefully, licking her lips together.

The controls all seemed so standard and easy to understand.

"Okay, how the hell do we work these things?" Hajime called.

"Don't worry about it." Anubis said to the heroes "The controls may look complicated, but they're like playing a video game."

Kanade still felt a little nervous about this, but she shakily grabbed hold of the steering gear, as did each of the others. "Okay, it's go time!" declared Drakus.

"Considering the caliber of your students, Anubis, I look forward to seeing what the zords are capable of!" Tsuhinoise proclaimed, pounding one of his claws against his chest. "Come! Show me what you are made of!"

The Zords rushed towards the giant monster ready for battle, and Tsuhinoise fired fireballs and plasma beams at them.

The X-Squad quickly veered off and avoided the attack. "WHOA!!" cried Kanade "This is scary!!"

"This is glorious!" shouted Malcho.

"Let's give the rocket fangs a try." suggest Roman, and he zoomed in closer and opened fire at the monster, making sparks fly.

The others then came in and fired their own missiles and weapons at him as well making more sparks and more explosions. Tsuhinoise fell off his feet and rolled along the ground, making him dizzy.

He got back up chuckling, "So, you wish to fly high, huh? Have some wind!" Tsuhinoise shouted, as he blasted a huge burst of wind from his revolver, which created such an air-current blowing the zords around.

"Whoa! Hey now!" cried Roman.

Drakus pulled hard on his steering gear to maintain control.

Hibiki tumbled around inside the Panda Zord. "GET ME OUT OF THIS CRAZY THING!!" She screamed.

Eyes flashing, the Wolf Zord opened her mouth and howled, her voice a mix of her own and Grim's, the force of the shout so great it destroyed the webs and pushed the startled Tsuhinoise back. "Impressive!" He cried, ears ringing.

The Wolf Zord laughed. "What can I say? I got a great set of lungs!"

The X-Squad took advantage of the momentary calm in the storm and peeled off.

"Glorious," Tsuhinoise whispered, calling down more webbing and taking flight, rocketing towards the Dragon Zord. The giant warrior and the dragon clashed, the spider monster striking at him with metal claws and rocket-boosted kicks, while he furiously fought back with tooth and tail; digging his fangs into his left wrist and yanking on his arm while repeatedly lashing out with his tail: smashing it into the spider hard enough to crack his body and send chips of rock flying. With a grunt, he managed to grab his tail with his free hand, then tried to slam his head into a nearby building repeatedly in an attempt to dislodge him from his wrist.

The team back at the base saw this. "Man, they're still getting creamed!" said Tock.

"Not for long." Chill said, and he quickly typed up a program he had been working on in his help perfecting the zords and their design. "Okay soldiers, listen up. I'm sending you a new program. Now you can combine your zords to form the Argana Megazord!"

The heroes saw the program on the screens in their cockpits.

"Okay, let's try it." said Drakus.

"I'm up for that." added Julie.

"Welp, let's hope it works out." Zap said.

"Welp, first time for anything, I guess." peeped Roman.

"Alright, let's do it now!" said Drakus. "Initiate transformation, mark!"

"Ignite Combination Sequence: Argana!" Then an evil laugh was heard.

The Zords began to run in astonishing formation and began to combine together.

The Dragon Zord's wings and limbs folded inward, becoming the main body of the Megazord.

The Dove Zord folded into angelic wings, attaching to the back.

The Leviathan Zord folded inward and opened out into three curves forming the lower body and the upper legs of the Megazord.

The Duck Zord split into two vertical halves down the middle and folded at the fronts forming the legs and feet of the megazord while Yaban Great linked with Leviathan Zord and turned into a club tail.

The Panda Zord and Barracuda Zord formed the two arms - The Panda Zord the right arm, and the Barracuda Zord the left- The fronts of the zords opened and folded out as the bodies pointed downward as to large fists folded outward.

The Hound Zord stood up on its hind legs and the torso opened up to let the canine head move downward before linking with the Dragon Zord. The head of the Hound Zord unfolded to become new armor, while the Porcupine Zord, Penguin Zord and Chameleon Zord approached the transforming robot. The reptilian mecha detached its body and separated into two pieces, linking with the arms, the Porcupine Zord folded inward, the spikes becoming bat-like wings below the Dove Zord, while the Penguin Zord hopped upwards, spewing out mist as it separated in half. The Penguin Zord attached to the right hand of the Megazord while the Porcupine Zord attached to the left arm. As the Zords combined with each other, the Viper Zord slithered up and became a scarf. Then, the Wolf Zord leapt up, splitting in half before becoming extra arms.

"Argana Megazord, Combination complete!"

Argana Megazord - Best chance if in a death match

"And here I thought you were magnificent before!" Tsuhinoise gushed. "I can't wait to see what you're capable of in this form!"

Back at the base, everyone was very impressed with the Megazord. "The tech works!" cried Taurus. Pascal smirked proudly at his husband for being so cheerful.

Anubis was most impressed as well. "This is turning out better than I thought, but the rest is up to the X-Squad now."

"Okay guys…" Drakus said to the others. "According to the program here, we all have to work together. Everybody set…?"

The rangers all agreed as they took hold of their controls.

"Alright, let's take this spider down!"

[holy jesus]

[did we just get stuck in a Megazord?!]

[I think we did buddy]

"Come and get some!" Tsuhinoise thundered as he tried to hit the megazord with the robotic claw, but the giant robot was much too heavy to be really sliced that easily.

The megazord began to stomp forward, engaging in a fist brawl with Tsuhinoise. Their huge fists collided and parried one another's, but Tsuhinoise managed to strike the megazord hard in the chest, then the Megazord glitched for a second and disappeared.

"I've seen this trick before in past battles," Tsuhinoise scoffed, unbothered as he summoned a fire tornado which struck the mecha, the mech vanishing in puffs of blue smoke. "Which means that you are about to strike me from…"

He spun around, throwing a punch… At thin air. "What?!"

An earsplitting avian shriek filled the air, and suddenly the Argana Megazord dropped down from above, the scarf again transformed into wings, glowing yellow and blue as he thrust his left leg forward, drill spinning. Tsuhinoise quickly threw a web in the mecha's path. He smashed through them almost instantly, but it bought him the moment he needed to take a few steps back so he wouldn't be in the way, then lunged forward and hurled a punch at his face the instant he struck the ground, his foot briefly caught in the pavement, rocking the heroes about in the cockpit.

"Hold it easy, guys!" cried Drakus.

Still standing, the megazord marched forth for more.

"Oh yeah!" snapped Hibiki and she pulled back on her controls, making the megazord kick Tsuhinoise in the gut, flipping him over onto his back.

[WOOOOO-WEEEEEE]

[ah yes we have advanced from the city to the cockpit dimension]

[I believe that's called piloting a Megazord]

"Okay, let's try this!" shouted Coco, and she thrust the right fist clear into the mouth of the gun, just as the fireballs fired, resulting in Tsuhinoise practically blasting himself hard and damaging his gun.

"And that is indeed facts, chat." Shinji added.

"That's a lot of air!" Tsuhinoise groaned as he fanned himself to cool off.

"Alright!" cried Tock. "We're really cooking with gas now!"

Anubis agreed, and then told the others, "X-Squad, draw the saber, do what you must."

"We got it, Mr. A." said Drakus. "Engage Drak-Cudgel!"

The Megazord removed the tail from its left arm and extended it into a cane.

"Drak-Cudgel… Engage!"

"All together, guys…" Drakus called the others. The cudgel moved its tip, revealing a swirling purple ball of lightning as the Megazord waved it around in a perfect circle forming a dragon, jolting with power. "HELLFIRE STREAM!" The X-Squad shouted as a dragon made of energy launched from the cane, crashing into Tsuhinoise, exploding.

The mecha hesitated. "Are you all right?" Drakus asked in concern.

"We didn't hit anything important, did we?" Mera inquired.

Tsuhinoise panted, cracks running through his body and chips fragmenting off. "No… I'm just… In quite a lot of pain…"

"Sorry, you're going to be in a lot more in just a second," Roman said apologetically as the Megazord started raising his cane and glowing green.

Tsuhinoise's face twisted into a grin. "Actually… About that…"

The mecha hesitated. "What is it?"

"You are truly a worthy opponent. You are strong, quick, clever, beautiful…" Tsuhinoise listed. "However, there is one problem: you telegraph all your attacks!"

And that's when a single sharp, piercing web knife, shot at the Megazord from behind…

And suddenly, the mecha leapt into the air, causing the knife to speed beneath him and bury itself in Tsuhinoise's chest. As he cried out in pain and surprise, the Megazord wrapped himself in his scarf and started twirling around, the horns on his left foot extending and spinning rapidly.

"Drill Kick!"

The mecha shot down, striking the knife in his chest with all his might, the spinning kick pushing it further and further into his chest, causing Tsuhinoise to howl in pain. Finally, the knife shattered, and he was flung back, landing hard on his back. "But… but how…" He gasped, dumbfounded as the Megazord landed, unraveling his scarf.

Tsuhinoise then burst into laughter. "Bravo! Well done! I have to say, X-Squad, venerable Argana Zords, you've pushed me to my limit! I haven't had a fight this exciting in decades!"

"I don't suppose you're ready to call it quits?" Indus asked.

Tsuhinoise laughed harder. "Hardly! I still have ONE trick up my sleeve!"

He pointed his sole hand skyward, causing the dark clouds to part…

Revealing a single, COLOSSAL web descending towards the city.

The heroes stared up at the incoming meteor in horror. "Am I the only one suddenly having Final Fantasy VII flashbacks?" Hajime wondered.

The mecha shuddered. "I'm suddenly having PTSD flashbacks," Hound Zord muttered.

"Unlike many other mecha, we weren't alive all those millennia ago," the Leviathan Zord reminded him.

"It was a traumatic enough experience that it was passed down through our racial memory across the generations," the Dove Zord said grimly.

"Well, at least this one is just a web, not an extinction-level threat… Right?" Drakus asked hesitantly.

"It isn't, however the whole city might be destroyed," Tsuhinoise confirmed.

Then, the Megazord slashed it to ribbons, and Tsuhinoise teleported away, with a chuckle and a smile, leaving Lammbo to explode along with 9-Torg and Orowchee.

Somehow, Exzom convinced Eleanor to throw a pool party at the airship to celebrate their first bounty.

Drakus was wearing blue and black swim trunks and a red rash guard with a dragon on it, Julie was in a green two-piece bikini with a blue sarong, Neo was in a pink and white two-piece tankini, Roman was in a white rash guard and orange shorts, Eleanor was in a green and yellow one-piece swimsuit, Indus was in orange swim trunks, Mera was in a retro-inspired bikini that features a high-waisted bottom in indigo with a cream-colored bikini top. The top has a sweetheart neckline and prominent eyelash-patterned trim, adding a playful and flirty touch, skekSil was wearing his usual ensemble but added a blue sunhat, Albert was in red swim trunks and a white rash guard, Taylor was in (after much convincing) a blue and black two-piece bikini with frills on it, Celeste was in a frilly black and white two-piece bikini, Sho was in black swim trunks, Coco was in a blue and pastel pink two-piece skirtkini, Cyclonis was in a purple one piece with the Cyclonian symbol on it, Sapphire Ink was in a blue and black skirtkini with her cutie mark on the back, Harry was in a blue wetsuit, Robin was in red swim trunks and a brown rash guard, David was in green swim trunks and a lime green rash guard, Linda was in a strapless black two-piece bikini with a red and yellow harness, Zinnia was in a teal and pink one-piece swimsuit with frills on it, Monty was in purple swim trunks, Bangray was wearing a lifeguard vest, Jasmine was in a two-piece purple swimsuit with the sun on it, Jeeves was wearing a lifeguard shirt and hat, Asami was wearing a black and yellow two-piece bikini with a cross on it, Mimi was wearing a red and black two-piece bikini with frills on it, Sheshe was wearing a blue and black one-piece swimsuit, Namue was wearing blue swim trunks with sharks on them, Lila was wearing an orange and white one-piece swimsuit, Cell was wearing a purple swim jacket, Kermit was wearing a lifeguard shirt and green swim trunks, Brandon was wearing a black wetsuit, Satsuki was in a blue one-piece swimsuit with green swirls, Hajime was in black swim trunks, Keiichiro was in a cow-print wetsuit, Leo was in red swim trunks, Momoko was in a pink one-piece swimsuit, Amanojaku was in a duck floatie, Pecos was in yellow swim trunks and a golden rash guard, Roald was in a flannel wetsuit, Aria wore a sweet blue bikini with a white sarong around her waist in addition to her hairband, Louise was in a black bikini, Rémy was in his usual outfit, but with a lifeguard cap on, same with Grany, Minami was wearing a yellow and blue color-blocked bikini, and Malcho was wearing a lifeguard vest.

To Satsuki's surprise, there was a folding table nearby with food and alcohol on top of it. "Ah, there's food?" She asked.

"Well, I figured that we would need lunch as well, so I bought a bunch of food from the shops for everyone." Jasmine explained, fiddling with the straps of her swimsuit.

"You like it?" Hibiki boasted, putting her hands to her hips and puffing out her chest in a display of pride. She wore a frilly pink two-piece: complete with a ruffly miniskirt. "We did good on that hunt."

"That, and because every time we try going to a public beach, our fans recognize us and they won't leave us alone the whole time we're there." Kanade added. She was preoccupied with inflating a large yellow inner tube she had brought with her. Her swimsuit was identical to her twin's, but because of her vastly larger breasts, it looked much smaller on her short frame. Not that Laura was complaining about the eye candy. "It's super annoying. The last time we tried that, I couldn't even get my ice cream in peace." She said with a sigh.

"Ouch… That's rough." Roman shot her a sympathetic glance. "Well, I guess it's a good thing it's just us here, then."

"You said it. There's none of those annoying paparazzi jerks we have to deal with here." Hibiki agreed. Kanade also nodded in approval. "But who cares about them, anyways?"

"More importantly, the alcohol's here too! Now what kind would everyone want?" Albert went over to the table and began to distribute the bottles.

"Get me the finest wine there is!" Drakus said." I'm gonna feel like I'm living the high life again!"

"What?! I can't believe you guys are drinking..." Eleanor said. "And you didn't invite ME?! What the heck?!"

"Huh, I thought you'd be the responsible one." Roman snarked, swigging a bit of vodka.

"To be fair, alcohol does possibly reduce your risk of diabetes and heart disease." Momoko explained.

[WOOOOOOO]

[Sweet rave, y'all]

[All that's missing is the light show]

Once everybody got an alcohol of their choosing, they let themselves get some food as the intoxication kicked in. Grany sat beside Rémington, who was chugging his bottle with seemingly no fear of god at all, and frankly, he was a little concerned. "Rémy, that amount of liquor that fast is probably not a good idea for someone who isn't used to alcohol." He warned, knowing well about the risks of alcohol from her fondness of drinking it.

"Ahh, live a little, besides, I'm responsible-ish." Rémington snarked.

"Sorry I'm late." Laura said, running into the pool area, where Kanade blushed upon seeing her.

There Laura stood, in a lacey, and scant, black and purple bikini, her hands clasped over her meager chest and a pink blush across her face.

"Ummm... eh-heh..." Laura stammered, averting her gaze from the buxom Japanese girl. "I-If you vish to laugh... then go ahead..." the one-eyed German mumbled in intense embarrassment. "You can laugh if you think it's dumb."

Everyone didn't laugh instead they saw how good it looked on her, and Kanade smiled in spite of her blush.

"You look... really cute." Kanade answered before she grabbed her hand and picked her up in a bridal carry.

"Ah! O-Oh, you... think I am cute? Zat is ze first time I have ever been called zat... I thank you very much for your input, and it is greatly appreciated." Laura stammered.

'Wow, she said I was cute~. I can't believe she called me cute...'

While still in her daze, Kanade dragged her into the water, knocking Laura out of her stunned look.

"Now it's time to get that swimsuit wet!"

Laura smiled and dashed for Kanade tackling her into the water.

At Louise's direction, the squad waited a few minutes before going into the water. As the X-Squad got in the water, with Albert keeping them all in the shallow end, Pecos climbed up into the lifeguard chair. Instead of keeping watch on the others while they entered the water, he took out a lollipop and put it in his mouth.

Neo was having a splashing contest with Taylor, Roman was swimming and drunkenly rambling to Malcho, who was amused to listen to him, Kanade was venting about how cute Laura is to Hibiki, who was extremely zoned out and staring at Coco floating in a life preserver, Drakus was just floating in peace, having never been to the pool in his life and overwhelmed by all the sights, and Sho sat on a floatie chair, watching everybody play in the water with a sense of freedom he had never really felt before and making sure nobody was in danger while keeping Kenny on a small cup-holder floatie as Grim and Exzom watched Tammy and the T-Rex on the TV.

Coco was having an epiphany after the X-Squad finished up the pool party. She knew that she wasn't good at thinking complicatedly (that was Sho's department), but all it took was for her to put a few 'puzzle pieces' together to get any kind of answer in general.

Mostly it was Hibiki kept close to her during their time together, but still.

With all this in mind, Coco's mind jumped to the closest conclusion it could reach: Hibiki was in love with her. She didn't mind, of course, and was even excited when she learned of it. But the question that lingered in her mind was why Hibiki had fallen in love with her.

1: It's true, look up is alcohol good for you. You'd be amazed.

2: Cheng Daijin belongs to ShorinRyuKarateKobudo. I don't claim to own him.

3: Hound Zord and Chameleon Zord belong to WaterDragonMaverick, I don't claim ownership.

4: Yes, I know, the monsters won't die. Deadlight is a crime syndicate, but they're civil with those that gain their respect.