Harry peered up at the sign bearing "Margie's Majesties" with disdain. It had been years since he stepped foot anywhere near the two surviving Dursleys – Marge and Dudley – and he was being dragged against his will to see Dudley. Voldemort was after Harry's blood, which still flowed with his mother's sacrificial magic. It was possible that Voldemort would go after Dudley, having shared the same Evans blood through Lily's sister, Petunia.
Dumbledore suggested Harry and his family visit the Dursleys to convince Dudley to accept magical protection. Based on Dumbledore and Remus's first, disastrous attempt at convincing Marge Dursley that magic existed, they had a different plan that would separate Marge and Dudley to be able to speak to Dudley alone.
Harry agreed to go only if he had a small army behind him. Remus, Tonks, Dumbledore, Sirius, Ron, and Ginny all came with him. Harry wanted to show the Dursleys that despite the rocky start he had in life, he was doing much better than they could've ever imagined.
"This is where you would've lived if Remus hadn't adopted you?" asked Ron, watching bulldogs barking at each other in the distance.
"No. That's where I would've lived." Harry pointed at a small, dilapidated doghouse in the yard. Ron scrunched his nose up at it as they walked up the steps to the cottage.
"You're sure she's not going to be home?" asked Harry, before he knocked on the door.
"She's negotiating the sale of a few bulldogs with a friend of mine," Dumbledore said coolly. "She won't be back for a few hours yet, I should think."
Harry sighed irritably, but with an encouraging smile from Tonks, he knocked on the cottage door. A heavy set of footsteps came thundering behind the door. It swung open and a taller, wider, and older version of Dudley Dursley stood in front of Harry.
"Hullo, Dudley," Harry said flatly. "Mind if we come in?"
"You?"
"Me."
"What are you doing here?"
"I've got something to tell you."
"Who are these people?" Dudley's beady eyes drifted past Harry to the gaggle behind him.
"This is Remus, my adoptive dad," said Harry, pointing to Remus. "Next to him is Tonks – that's what you should call her – and she's my adoptive mum." Tonks, pink-haired and grinning proudly, waved at Dudley. "On her other side is Sirius, my godfather. Behind him is Professor Dumbledore—"
"I know you!" Dudley said suddenly. "You're a headmaster at a special school!" He scratched the side of his head, as though suddenly lost, and he frowned.
"Yes, he's my headmaster," Harry said curtly. "Next to him is my best friend, Ron, and next to Ron is Ginny—"
"I'm his girlfriend," Ginny said boldly, stepping forward to take Harry's hand in her own. Harry grew instantly pink, but held her hand, not daring to meet anyone else's eyes. Dudley's jaw fell open and Harry held Ginny's hand tighter, trying to thank her for her quick thinking.
"So can we come in or not?" Harry said, after his heart rate settled somewhat from the unexpected contact of Ginny's hand.
Dudley's eyes narrowed. "What do you want?"
"I need to talk to you about something important. Why else would I be here?"
"Hello Dudley," Remus interjected politely. "We met briefly once before. I know this is a lot of people…if you couldn't remember, I'm Harry's adoptive father, and I believe you're Harry's only living relative. We were hoping to talk to you about your mother's family."
"We went to school with your Aunt Lily," Sirius said, and Dudley's eyes grew wide upon seeing the tattoos that ran down Sirius's arms. "Remus and I went to school with James, Harry's dad, and Lily, your mum's sister."
"You went to school with my mum?" Dudley said, dumbfounded. "You were her friend?" Harry put his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing at the idea that Sirius and Petunia were ever friends.
"Lily went to the school where I am Headmaster," Dumbledore said. "The special school you mentioned…your mother, Petunia, didn't study there." Dudley stared blankly at Dumbledore, blinking slowly at him.
"We met Petunia and Vernon at their wedding," Remus added. "You look a lot like your father."
"Thanks," Dudley mumbled. Harry fought the urge to tell Dudley that it wasn't a compliment by any means.
"We'd like to tell you about your Aunt Lily. Do you have a few minutes?" Remus asked. Dudley leaned against the doorway, wary of the strangers on the porch.
"Can I talk to you?" Harry said impatiently. "We're still cousins."
"Fine," Dudley grunted. Harry let go of Ginny's hand, feeling its absence more than he expected to.
"I'll tell him what I have to. Can I use my w—"
"You may not," Remus said firmly. "Dudley, at least one of us should go in to be with Harry."
Dudley's smirk made Harry feel small, as Remus's statement made it seem if he couldn't be trusted without adult supervision.
"I'll go," Tonks offered brightly. "I'm Tonks, Harry's adoptive mum." She offered Dudley a dazzling smile and he grunted an assent to her, too. Harry and Tonks thus followed Dudley into the house. Harry scowled at all the frilly, dog-themed decorations that Marge kept, and the two sat down across from Dudley in the living room.
"Aunt Marge wouldn't like it if she knew you were here," Dudley said unceremoniously.
"I don't care. It's not about her." Harry glared at Dudley. He'd lived almost ten long, cruel years with his cousin and he rarely knew peace outside of the cupboard he slept in. He didn't wish death upon his cousin, but he certainly didn't feel he owed Dudley anything but an offer of magical protection.
"Harry, why don't you talk about your parents a bit and what kind of people they were?" Tonks suggested, in a clear attempt to change the subject.
"Your parents were drunks, weren't they? Got themselves killed in a car crash."
"They were not drunks," Harry said, standing abruptly, pointing his wand at Dudley. "Everything you've been told is a lie!"
"Harry, calm down." Tonks put her hand on his forearm, bringing him down to sit, while Dudley stared at them in disbelief. "Why don't I just tell him?" Harry nodded at her suggestion, and he sank back into his seat, irritated.
"All right, Dudley. Harry's parents, Lily and James, were a witch and wizard. Harry's a wizard, I'm a witch, and all those people standing on the front porch are magical too," Tonks said calmly.
"You're mental! Did you go to that special school too? Is it for ret—"
Tonks took her wand out, transfigured a teacup into a frog, and set it back. She then scrunched her eyes together, grew her hair out long and blonde, and then conjured three glasses of water, placing them before Dudley, Harry, and herself.
"Not everyone can do what I did with my hair," Tonks explained airily. "I'm a special kind of witch called a Metamorphmagus, but others can do something similar with charms and potions. Do you believe me now?"
Dudley's big jaw fell open. Harry felt a triumphant grin grow across his face as he watched his cousin struggle to comprehend what he'd just seen.
"Harry's parents were like me. Harry, Ron, and Ginny are all students at a special school called Hogwarts that trains young witches and wizards. Remus, Sirius, and I all went to school there and Dumbledore is the Headmaster," Tonks said rapidly. "Any questions?"
Dudley sputtered for several seconds, stammering incoherently, until he finally choked out a question. "Am I…a wizard?" Harry burst into laughter and shook his head. The thought of Dudley as a wizard was as laughable as Petunia and Sirius having been friends.
"You're not," Tonks said, not unkindly. "You're what's called a Muggle, or a non-magic person. My dad is like your Aunt Lily. He came from a family of Muggles, so he's what's called a Muggleborn. Lily was a Muggleborn, too. Your mum knew all of this, but I'm told she didn't like magic very much and didn't want to tell anyone."
"Remember the time I turned one of our teachers' wigs blue? That was accidental magic. Every time something weird or unusual happened around me…it's because I'm a wizard," Harry said smugly.
"The time mum cut all your hair off—"
"And it grew back overnight? Yeah, that's magic." Dudley sat in stunned silence, watching Harry's hair as if it too would grow long at any moment.
"Anyway," Tonks said, clearing her throat, "that's only part of what we came here to tell you." She glanced at Harry, who nodded at her, and she told Dudley an abbreviated version of the First Wizarding War, concluding by telling him what happened in Godric's Hollow and how Harry truly became an orphan.
"Here's the part that gets tricky for you, Dudley. I don't have time to explain it all, but the Dark wizard I mentioned might want to go after anyone related to Harry…since you're the only one left, this puts you in danger."
"I can fight for myself," Dudley said defiantly. "I'm not scrawny like him and I'm a junior heavyweight boxing champion." He pointed a fat finger at Harry, who gaped at Dudley, astonished by his stupidity.
"I'm sure that's quite the accomplishment for your age," Tonks said carefully, "but Dark witches and wizards only need one spell to kill someone and it doesn't matter how strong, big, or accomplished a person is. If they don't have magic, they're going to die."
"Why didn't he die?" Dudley challenged, pointing at Harry again.
Tonks sighed into her hands and briefly explained the blood protection magic. Although Dudley did share some of Lily Potter's blood through Petunia, the charm that had kept Dudley safe was broken when Petunia Dursley died. Voldemort couldn't touch Dudley, but he didn't need to lay a finger on him to kill him with a single curse.
"You remember Professor Dumbledore and Remus when they went to see you and your Aunt Marge a few years ago. They hoped that if you agreed to see Harry as your family, and if Harry lived here with you, it would be enough to seal the charm again. Unfortunately, your aunt didn't take the news of magic well and we had to make other arrangements. We didn't know at the time that Harry would be in as much danger as he's in now…or that it would mean you're in danger, too."
"It's not like I wanted to live anywhere near here," Harry muttered angrily.
"He's got to live here…for both of us to be safe?" Dudley said slowly, after a few more moments of silence.
"I'm not living here."
Tonks squeezed Harry's shoulder. "Harry's got a better home now. He lives with me, Remus, and Sirius. He goes to a boarding school in Scotland. He's where he belongs, with us." Harry felt relief washing over him; he abhorred the thought of going back to a life with the Dursleys.
"Then what about me?" Dudley demanded.
"We're willing to offer you some magical protection," Tonks replied. "It isn't as strong as the blood protection charm, unfortunately, but it should be enough in case someone goes after you."
"Can I live with you?" blurted Dudley, startling Harry enough that he almost fell out of his seat.
"You want to live with us?" Harry said incredulously. "Piss off." Dudley living at Grimmauld Place was a better alternative than Harry moving back with the Dursleys, but it still meant he'd have to share a living space with his cousin again. Dudley's face grew red and blotchy, not unlike Uncle Vernon's had when he was furious.
"I hate it here. Aunt Marge is a drunk and I hate the dogs. She makes me clean up after them."
"Is that what you think a hard life is? I've got a Dark wizard after me and you think your life is hard?" Harry's chest rose and fell rapidly from his anger. Dudley had made his life a living hell for years – Harry would've felt lucky if his only chore was to clean up after dogs. "I was your punching bag for years. I lived under a sodding cupboard! I had to clean and hide while you and your gang played Harry Hunting! You made my life miserable!"
"Calm down, Harry," Tonks said pleadingly. "We're not discussing Dudley's living arrangements. He's where he belongs and you're where you belong. Nothing is changing."
"But if that Lord Voldything is after me we've got to live with each other to be safe!" Dudley countered. "That's how that blood magic business works – you just said so!"
"Didn't you hear her? We're not changing anything. You're stuck here, just like I was stuck with you." Harry's nostrils flared and his fists were clenched at his sides.
"Dudley, I understand your concerns," Tonks said evenly, bringing Harry back to his seat. "We're giving you the best protection we can put on someone."
"You just said—" Dudley protested, and Harry stormed off from the living room, unwilling to hear Dudley's pleas to move out of Aunt Marge's. He stomped past those gathered on the porch only to be held back by Remus and Sirius.
"What?" Harry snapped.
"You know we heard everything you said in there, yes?" Remus said tiredly. "We had an Amplification Charm on the door."
"Then you know I don't want to live with Dudley."
"That was never an option. Tonks said so many times."
"How do you know? He's right!"
"Wait, Harry," Sirius interjected. "You think Dudley's right?"
"Both of us would be safer with that stupid charm. He's right and I hate it."
"What are you trying to say?" Remus said slowly. "You want him to live with us so both of you are safer?"
"No? Yes?"
Harry kicked aside some dirt. From the moment that Dudley, of all people, made the connection that the blood protection charm would work best if they lived together, he knew that it was the best option. He knew Dumbledore would see it as the best option, which is why he'd tried to have Harry move back in with the Dursleys after Remus took him in. There was no way Dudley could go to Grimmauld Place, and Harry came to the miserable conclusion that for his own good – and Dudley's – he'd have to move back in with Marge and Dudley for as long as Voldemort was alive.
"Forgive me for eavesdropping," Dumbledore said calmly, as he stepped into the conversation, "but I believe I have a solution for our quandary. I shall return in a few minutes' time."
Dumbledore slipped into the cottage. Ron and Ginny's disappointed faces let Harry know that the Amplification Charm had been lifted, and they came down to meet Harry, Sirius, and Remus.
Only seconds later, Dumbledore popped his head out and asked Sirius and Remus to come back inside the cottage, leaving Harry, Ron, and Ginny alone in the summer sun.
"Sorry about earlier," Ginny said quickly, turning crimson. "I shouldn't have—"
"Don't be sorry." Harry didn't know how to describe it – especially not with Ron standing next to them – as he likedholding Ginny's hand and having her at his side. Instead of trying to articulate his confused feelings, he simply said, "It was a good idea. Thank you."
Ginny blushed and Ron huffed impatiently next to her. "What are they doing in there, do you think?"
"Probably figuring out how to get me to live here until Voldemort's gone," Harry said bitterly. "It's why I was put with the Dursleys in the first place and now I'll have to go back."
"Go back…here?" Ron said, frowning at the cottage. "But that Marge woman's a nightmare, isn't she?"
"It doesn't matter. I've got to stay alive and it's not like they're going to let Dudley get murdered for me…he's a git but he's just a Muggle and can't even defend himself."
"That is very wise of you, Harry." Dumbledore appeared from outside the cottage, his lavender robes billowing behind him in the summer breeze. "We've come to an agreement with your cousin. Would you like to hear it?"
"It's not like I'll be able to say 'no' to it, is it?"
"You can say no. It requires your agreement as well." Dumbledore's hands were clasped together in front of him. He looked somber and tired, despite the gleam of his electric blue eyes.
"Just hear it, mate," Ron mumbled. "You can say no." Harry nodded at Dumbledore, wishing he could hold Ginny's hand again for support.
"I believe I can recast the Blood Protection Charm on you and Dudley, so long as you consider each other close family. I suggested having Dudley come visit you at your home three times a year at the summer, Christmas, and Easter holidays. He'll spend two weeks with you at each visit."
"He's going to visit me…at Grim—"
"Yes," Dumbledore said, cutting Harry off. "We need to find Marge to give us permission to 'recruit' him for our plan. We're going to tell her Dudley's been accepted to a prestigious boxing club, which requires travel three times a year."
"He won't come home for Christmas or Easter?" Harry said dubiously.
"He goes to a boarding school called Smeltings. It's nearby, so he's a day student, but had his parents lived he'd have been a boarder. We are going to tell his aunt that he's been given a full scholarship to board and that the boxing club holds events over the holidays."
Harry snorted. Dudley was never the brightest student in school, and Harry doubted his cousin had changed much now that he was at the same posh school Uncle Vernon had attended.
"I've also told him, in no uncertain terms, that poor behavior will not be tolerated while you're under the same roof," Dumbledore said firmly. "Remember he's a Muggle – he doesn't know what to expect, and you're capable of inflicting far more damage on him with your wand than he could ever hope to achieve with his fists."
Harry frowned slightly. If Dudley visited Grimmauld Place, where underage magic couldn't be detected, Harry would have the upper hand.
"You don't have to agree. This is the closest we can come to you living with each other without having to interfere with Muggle custody arrangements or sending you back here." Dumbledore stood before Harry with a hopeful look in his eyes; Harry knew that spending so much time with Dudley would be difficult, but it would be made easier on his terms and in his home.
"Fine. Do it," Harry muttered.
"It's better for both of them?" Ron asked nervously, glancing back at the cottage. "This is for Harry's safety, too?"
"Indeed, Mr. Weasley."
"It's fine, Ron. It's not forever. I lived with him for ten years."
"I'll go inside and let them know," Dumbledore said. His blue eyes twinkled merrily and he turned on the spot to return to the cottage.
"Have you lost your mind?" Ron demanded, as soon as Dumbledore closed the door behind him.
"It's better than moving here. Besides, it's not like he can do magic. Wait till Kreacher meets him!" Harry doubled over in laughter, imagining the house elf's reaction to meeting a real Muggle.
"Do you still want me to pretend to be your girlfriend?" asked Ginny, after Harry caught his breath. He met her warm brown eyes and nodded, trying hard not to blush.
"You've got to," Ron said matter-of-factly. "S'not like you can lie now."
Harry met Ginny's gaze again. Both of them were pink in the face, and they were startled out of their awkwardness when the cottage door opened and everyone came streaming out. Dudley came last, with a rucksack on his shoulder and eyes transfixed on the levitated suitcase in front of him.
"He's coming with us now?" Harry asked, lifting a brow at Remus.
"We'll be right back," Tonks said. "I'm going with Dumbledore to meet Marge and convince her to let us take Dudley for a couple weeks. It's going to be easier if we do this before the World Cup."
"The World Cup already happened. Brazil won," Dudley said, staring skeptically at them. "Doesn't everyone know that?"
"She's talking about the Quidditch World Cup," Harry corrected. "It's a wizarding sport played on broomsticks. Football and Quidditch don't have anything to do with each other."
"He's really good at Quidditch," Ginny said, stepping forward to meet Dudley. "He made the Gryffindor team in his first year."
"Youngest Seeker in a century," Ron added smugly.
Dudley blinked several times at Ron. "What's a Gryffindog?"
"We'll explain this when we get home," Remus said, as Tonks morphed her features and Disapparated with Dumbledore. "Sirius is going to go home first to tell Kreacher we're probably going to have a Muggle staying with us." Sirius waved from the distance, turned on the spot, and vanished with a crack. Dudley stared at the spot where he had been with a slackened jaw and wide eyes.
"It might be a good idea to invite Hermione and her parents over sometime," Remus said nonchalantly, as if commenting on the fine weather. "Dudley might like to know other Muggles who know about magic but can't perform it themselves."
Harry put his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground. He tried reminding himself that it was only two weeks, three times a year. All other weeks of the year he'd either be at Hogwarts with his friends or with his real family at Grimmauld Place.
A crack at the end of the driveway announced Tonks's arrival. She morphed back into her usual appearance and announced, "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, Marge is willing to have Dudley take part in this 'boxing club.' Bad news is, she's unwilling to give him up for two weeks at Easter and Christmas. He'll visit us for a week instead. To get enough, err… 'family time'… Dudley will be with us till you go off to Hogwarts."
"What about the World Cup?" Harry said slowly. "It's not like Muggles can go."
"We'll figure it out. If he can't go, it's only a day and Kreacher can keep an eye on him."
"I'm not a baby," Dudley said acidly. "I don't need a babysitter."
"It's not like Kreacher's going to be friendly. You'd have better luck with Mrs. Weasley."
"That's right, actually," Remus interjected. "She was on the fence about going. I don't think she'd mind." Ron and Ginny exchanged skeptical glances.
Sirius returned next. Tonks told him the new plan, and he produced a small parchment and gave it to Dudley.
"We're not quite sure if Muggles can make it past the Fidelius Charm, but we'll give it a try. Memorize what's written there and don't read it out loud," Sirius said firmly. Dudley stared at the parchment for a long time and returned it to Sirius, who cast "Incendio" on it.
"Your aunt's going to be here in a few minutes to say goodbye," Tonks said. "Dumbledore's arranging transportation – look! There he comes!"
A blue Ford Anglia came ambling up the gravel road, driven by none other than a beaming Arthur Weasley. Dumbledore sat in the passenger seat, looking thoroughly amused with his ride. Mr. Weasley parked the car and the two of them stepped out to meet the others.
"Hello, you must be Harry's cousin," Mr. Weasley said, offering his hand to Dudley. "I'm Arthur Weasley, Ron and Ginny's dad. I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more of each other in the coming weeks."
"A-are you a M-Muggleborn?" Dudley said nervously, pointing at the car. "You drive?"
"Would you look at that?" Mr. Weasley said excitedly. "He thinks I'm a Muggleborn because of the car! No, I'm what's called a pureblood, but I've got so many questions for you, young man."
"Dad, stop," Ron said, turning a deep shade of crimson.
"Yes, you're right – I'll have plenty of other opportunities to ask about eckeltricity and plugs!"
"We should be going," Remus said. "Marge won't want to see all of us here. Dudley, you'll stay with Professor Dumbledore, Mr. Weasley, and Tonks. Sirius and I will take the others home."
"Are you going to fly that car, Dad?" asked Ginny. "Mum's not going to like that."
"No need to worry, Miss Weasley," Dumbledore replied cheerily. "I've taken care of everything." Dudley's eyes were transfixed on the Ford Anglia, as if he expected it to hover from the ground at any moment.
"It's time to go, Harry," Remus said gently. "I'll take you and Ginny. Sirius'll take Ron, if that's all right?" Harry, Ron, and Ginny split up accordingly. As Harry Side-Along Apparated with Remus, he took one more glance at Dudley. The next four weeks would be long and trying, but for the first time in his life, Dudley would be the odd one out.