A/N: Set in S01E04 again. I always wondered what Clive was crying about here.
Clive moves slowly towards his desk and sits down. It's been a strange couple of days. He may be out of trouble with Billy — just — but now he has Martha's pregnancy to contend with. He wonders what their child will be like. Hopefully he or she will take after their mother. He remembers himself as a child: hated, rejected, frequently beaten up. Treated with suspicion by teachers and his parents, who could see that he wasn't popular. His classmates couldn't all be wrong. He must have been the problem.
That's all in the past, he reminds himself. He's a successful barrister now. He's going to get silk. He can have any woman he wants, except the one he really wants. And now, he's going to be a father.
What if his child gets bullied like he did? Worse, what if his own child doesn't like him either?
For some reason, that stupid, irrational thought is what tips him over the edge. He puts his head in his hands and sobs.
"What's happened?" Martha's voice snaps him out of his self-pity and he wipes his face quickly. He had thought he was alone in chambers.
"Oh, sorry. It's stupid." He manages a smile, composing himself. "Sorry."
"What?" Martha is staring at him like she's never seen him before, which maybe she hasn't.
He can't even begin to explain. "This baby," he says finally. "Huge thing, isn't it?"