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She wasn't fine.
Physically she was, but everything in her body screamed because of how gentle and affectionate Regina was. Not only that, but how quickly she came to her aid. It was comforting to know that she deeply cared for her wellbeing. Then on top of all of that, she called her sweetheart. God did Emma's heart beat so loud that she hoped no one else could hear it beneath her ribcage.
Part of Emma wanted to believe that her teacher's reaction was solely for her. That if it were any other student she'd be less reactive.
"What was that back there?" Graham asked as the two walked from their classroom.
Emma shrugged, "I honestly don't know. I didn't expect her to ask us to change up the skit last minute. I think maybe she didn't think I was going to have a part and wanted to see me play a role."
"Well that was awkward, are you really hurt?" Graham asked sincerely.
"I hit the ground a little weird. Other than that it was shock paired with embarrassment more than anything else. I promise, I'm okay." Emma reassured. "By the way, sorry she freaked on you."
In Emma's mind, she was stunned how defensive Regina was over her. She was protective and wanted reassurance that she was okay. Then Graham butted in, it was interesting to say the least as she watched the scene between the two play out. Regina snapped his head off. She clearly blamed him for the fall and wasn't taking any excuses.
"Yeah, I have no idea what that was about. Teachers are so annoying. I really don't like her. She's seems like she thinks she knows everything and is the hottest shit at our school because she's so young. I mean it's not like I pushed you on purpose. Had she let us act everything out the way we practiced you wouldn't have gotten hurt. The way I see it, this is her fault." He argued.
Emma stopped dead in her tracks. Trying to not freak out on her friend she said, "Don't blame her, it's my fault for falling. Seriously. She seems pretty cool to me. I mean isn't it refreshing to have a young teacher for once? Poor old Ms. Lucas barely made it between each class without needing a nap, she was so old." Emma didn't like that Graham was making it Regina's fault. She felt bad her friend was the one snapped at, but it was unreal how fast Regina was out of her seat and by her side.
"It was just a little weird, that's all. Are you free to hang out tonight?"
"Actually, I'm heading to the bar to hang out with Rubes. I haven't had a lot of free time recently. She's either been working, or I've been unavailable. Tonight I think it's just going to be us girls. I have a shit ton of chores to do that I've put off these past few days to do school work and her shift doesn't start till nine. If I have enough time I can meet up for coffee?"
Graham nodded in understanding, "That's okay then. Some other time is fine. Your foster mother is like the Ms. Trunchbull from Matilda. She scares me. Think you do enough chores?"
"Yeah I know, she's really intense. It's funny that you compared her to , they kind of look alike now that I think about it. She's really not that bad as long as my chores are done and she's not bothered by me."
"Yeah, but parents aren't supposed to be like that."
"You've got that right, except she's not my parent. I've never had parents." Emma stated matter a factly.
"Oh hey, I'm sorry. I didn't… I didn't mean to bring up things that upset you."
The two paused, standing out front of their high school. Emma was annoyed. She hated when people felt uncomfortable around her because she was with a foster family.
Graham tightly hugged Emma who was unfortunately greeted with a strong wiff of Old Spice cologne. He stood a little too close and she stood a little too stiffly. To Emma, she was sure she'd feel like a dead person in full on rigor mortis. Emma didn't do random hugs. She wasn't a touchy feely kind of gal. She hated being touched by people. She wasn't used to affection, maybe because her entire life she'd gone without it.
Recently, however, it seemed that she craved affection from one person, Regina. Emma believed she only craved that from her because she refused to allow herself to have it. The more you can't have something, the more you want it, or so she thought.
Graham had no clue as he pulled away how uncomfortable she was. Guys were clueless. "See ya later." He walked off.
Emma walked over to the tree she met Lily at and waited for a few minutes. Her foster sister had grown exceptionally annoying this past week. She was always nagging her about their chores and how Emma was slacking off and that she was going to tell Ms. Tremaine. It never came to that, but she knew that Lily was first to tattle if something were to come up.
"So is that like your boyfriend or something?" Lily asked.
"Uhm.. No that's Graham, my friend. You know that."
"Didn't seem like a friend just then." She snarkily stated back.
"Look, there's nothing going on between us. He's not my type. We study together and do group projects so will you get over yourself. Stop trying to find something to get me in trouble for. I'm tired of it." Emma snapped and walked off.
She hated how she could never relax, even when it came to things in her home life.
In her mind, the weekend finally started, her chores were officially done, which meant it was time to head to the bar to visit with Ruby.
Walking in from out of the cold, Emma started brushing off clumps of snow from her shoulders.
The bar felt like another home to her. While the library was her secret spot to relax in the company of dusty old books, the bar was very much still one of her favorite places. The only way she could think to describe it was to compare it to Coyote Ugly. Except without the coyote's. Ruby didn't dance on the bar and shoot beer at belligerent drunks, no, but the bar felt similar.
She loved the atmosphere. It felt like a home.
"Hey chica, how was your day at school?"
"Rubes, I have missed your face!" Emma smiled at her friend.
"Remember when you said you were counting down the days till May?" Ruby asked.
She bent down behind the bar and rummaged around before popping back up.
"I've got a calendar and I've been counting down the days until you are free at last! Then we can spend so much more time together and maybe you'll consider more the idea of working here!"
"You're something else. So tell me, how many days till I'm done?"
"Only 83 days left, not including weekends though." Her brunette friend eagerly explained.
"That's awful. I don't know how I'm going to make it that much longer. It's so hard. I can't believe I took as many classes as I did. I had some sort of death wish when I signed up, or something. I clearly had no shits given for my sanity."
"You know you did it because you wanted the credits. I think you'll come out on top. Just keep up with everything and before you'll know it, Spring will be here and you'll be in a royal blue gown giving a big speech to your entire class and be done with this whole shindig."
"Right. Thank you for your optimism. Are you sure you don't want to trade places with me?"
"Oh homegirl, please. I did my time. Those were the best years of my life. I was a wild child."
"Yeah I'm sure you were."
"Want something to drink?"
"Uhm, can I have a cider?" Ruby nodded and walked around the bar and started making Emma's drink.
The bar that night wasn't busy. There were the usual suspects who came in every night, but they didn't stay past ten usually. By eleven, the bar would be empty and Ruby would jump from behind the bar and play Emma at darts or pool. Emma was by far more advanced at pool. Darts, well that was another story.
"Hey look, I think Leroy just fell asleep on his beer, better go call the "grump" a car." Emma pointed out.
Emma watched as her friend used the bar's phone to call a taxi. It didn't take long for the car to arrive, the hard part was waking him up, he was sometimes a little vocal and unwelcoming to help.
"Leroy, your car is here. Come on, let's go." Ruby hauled the drunken man out the door.
Emma had no idea how her friend did this for a living.
The bells of the door rang as the door swung back open, "Hey Ems, I really hate to burst your bubble, but, uhm, Regina is here. I just saw her get out of her fancy car in the parking lot."
"Are you serious?" A surprised Emma asked.
Seeing Regina at the bar again was going to dredge up the memories of the night they met in the bar. Specifically when her number eight ball lost control, magically, and hit her in the leg. That was single handedly one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.
While Emma knew that memories would play like a movie reel in her mind with Regina at the bar, she was excited. That whole scene in the classroom just further proved that she still meant something to her. Maybe things between them could change. Perhaps she did overreact. Just like Ruby said, there's only 83 days left, weekends not included, and maybe they could sustain a relationship that was behind closed doors only.
God forbid anyone found out besides Ruby.
Emma sipped her drink and considered, finally, jumping at the opportunity to be with Regina. Like really be with her.
The bells above the door rang as cold air and snow rolled in gusts through the warm bar.
This moment was important to Emma. The sound of the bells would be the moment she thought back to, the moment she would turn to Regina and tell her that she was ready. This was it. This was the moment.
Ruby leaned over to her breaking that moment, "Em, she's not alone, she's with another woman."
"What?" What did Ruby mean she was with another woman? Emma listened carefully and then she heard the melodic sounds of Regina's sweet sultry voice followed by that of a more higher pitched screeching sound of another woman.
Trying to not panic, Emma sat stock still at the bar.
"Oh my god Regina, you are so funny. I love your jokes. I can't wait to hear more. Yesterday I confiscated a rubber band pistol during my algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. Get it? Math disruption? My students thought I was hysterical." The other woman laughed a little too hard at her own joke.
There's never anything more embarrassing than when you laugh too hard at your own jokes. Emma was already not amused by this other woman.
Except it only got worse.
"Let's go sit at the bar. I feel like I want to be closer to all the action and watch that bartender make drinks." Her voice could not be more annoying. Like think Fran Drescher's voice from The Nanny. It was like nails on a chalkboard excruciatingly awful. Then that god awful laugh was like Janice from Friends.
A purse was slammed down on the counter next to Emma. Not a few seats down, no, right all up in her space.
The woman's big blonde head was to her side and obstructed her view of Regina. Looking at her, she quickly realized that she was wearing something she would have worn. A plaid flannel, jeans, and boots. It was as if she was her clone, except she had more years on her.
This was ridiculous. Emma could not for the life of her believe what was happening. Looking over to her friend behind the bar she noticed Ruby who too was just as confused.
"So what can I get you two?"
The overly loud woman ordered a Jamaican margherita. That thing was going to be the size of her face. There was no telling how much a lightweight the woman was, but she was for sure going to be tipsy, which meant she was only going become more obnoxious.
"I'll have a cider."
Ruby's eyes locked with green, "Emma need another drink?" Unsure if Ruby was about to make her an alcoholic one or not, she wanted two things more than anything; to be twenty-one and to make the other woman disappear.
"So Emily, you love teaching math?" Regina asked her date.
Emma winced. Emily? Really. How on Earth does someone look just like her and have a name so similar to hers. What did Regina do post a picture of her online and find herself the next best option? Of course this Emily held no candle to Emma, which she knew.
"You're going to need this. Feel free to have multiple rounds. I'll drive you home tonight." Ruby slid a new, alcoholic, drink to Emma.
"You are an angel sent from heaven Rubes."
"I've got your back, chica." She was right. She did.
It was going to be a long night.
She sat at the bar, now on drink number four, and listened to this terrible woman talk about herself. Regina was killing her. Why on Earth did she think this woman was at all interesting? She was way out of the other woman's league. Not that she herself was even in, but Emma knew that she was at the very least not annoying like the other woman was. She had the ability to catch on to social cues.
"You're hair is so pretty, what kind of hair products do you use?" Emma's clone asked.
She winced, because really?
Trying to drown out the idiot blonde, Emma's mind drifted.
Apparently she was wrong, Regina did move on. The reaction in class was a general reaction she would have had for any other student. She wasn't as special as she thought she was. The whole thing was probably some sort of game the brunette was playing.
A common theme in her life was being left by others. Not surprising, this wasn't anything different. She was just another notch on Regina's lipstick case. As much as that sucked, it sucked even worse for her woman to flaunt a new woman in her life right in front of her. It was rude and hurtful. It made Emma angry.
Emma stood up from her barstool and leaned forward and motioned for her friend, "Rubes, another drink please." Just in that split second her angry emerald eyes met those of the brunettes. It was brief, but Emma caught something in those eyes. Whatever it was, Emma was so done and too far removed.
"Here ya go." Emma grabbed her fifth glass and walked off to the pool table.
She started loudly tossing the balls on the table preparing to rack them up. She placed the first ball in the front of the wooden triangular rack. Then, she started placing the other balls at random, except the two corner balls, one side a stripe and the other a solid, and lastly the eight ball, center.
She slid the rack to the correct position on the table and grabbed her lucky stick from off the wall. It was shorter than the others, so for whatever reason she thought it made her game better. She would defend to others that it was the perfect size for her height.
Emma picked up the blue chalk and rubbed the tip of the stick against the soft minerally surface. Blowing excess blue dust off, she hunched over the table, eye on the cue ball. Her vision was slightly blurry and the cue ball felt like it was moving from side to side.
Struggling to focus, she whipped her arm back and shot forward the white ball, which collided with other balls across the table. Three balls shot into the two corner pockets. Grabbing her glass, she chugged the sweet alcoholic beverage. Suddenly, she started to feel better, numb even. She mentally declared solids and aimed for her next shot. Her blood was rushing through her veins and her body felt on fire as she continued to aim, shoot, and score against herself.
Again, Emma sloppily picked up her drink and chugged the rest of the smooth liquid. Tomorrow, she'd regret it, but not tonight.
Thankfully, her mind was finally was able to ignore the pair at the bar. That was until it she heard the blonde woman's painfully awful voice cut through her like a knife, "So Regina, think we can go back to your place tonight?"
All of Emma's rage shot forward, the cue ball impacting the eight ball. She watched as the ball flew across the room and right into the blondes back.
She didn't feel an ounce of guilt. Though maybe she could thank the alcohol for that.
"Ouch!" The woman yelped.
"Are you okay?" Regina asked her date.
"I think so, I think I was just caught off guard."
Emma walked over to the couple and picked up the number eight ball. "Looooks like I lost control of my ballzz." Emma said as she sauntered off back to her spot at the bar without even so much as a hiccup in Regina's direction.
Regina flagged down Ruby and got her tab. Looking at the receipt she pulled out a Ben Franklin, paid the bill, and left.
Once the bells above the door signalled their departure, Emma turned to her friend. "What the hell waz that Ruboobz? Whatdami? Chopped seviche? How dare she bring her here." She complained. "She did that on purpose to upset me what's wrong with her she's soooo mean!" Emma used a complete lack of internal punctuation, slurring her sentences together.
"Well, she bought your drinks." Ruby waved the receipt around. "She left a note on the bottom that said, for our drinks and Emma's."
Ruby started mentally counting the amount of drinks she served Emma. She served her five. Knowing she messed up by giving her a little too much to drink she swore she'd never do that again. She really could get into a world of trouble if she was caught providing to a minor.
Emma stood drunkenly taken aback by the other woman paying her bill.
"Rubieeee what the fuckkkk is happenin'? Ami goin' crazieee?" Her mind buzzed and her heart raced as her words grew extra letters.
To Emma, she could see that it seemed weird. Bringing a date to the bar she knew Emma would be at, flirt right in front of her, and then pay her tab.
Ruby, unlike her friend, got a different perspective of the entire evening from behind the bar.
The entire night Regina forced a smile on her face. She didn't seem happy. She was just there listening and nodding her head along to the other women's stories trying to be polite. Whenever Emily would laugh, she would wince. It was quite clear that Regina wasn't enjoying herself. She had several ciders that Ruby was sure she was solely drinking to make the moment less awkward. As a bartender, Ruby observed human behavior far more than others and from her angle it didn't seem like a legitimate date.
It was also curious to note that Regina was paying far more attention to a different drunk blonde.
"Look, like I've said countless times, I think that you need to go for it with Regina. She's hot and clearly is someone you're attracted to. Stop wasting this opportunity. If you hold your breath much longer she's going to move on to someone else like Emily. You can't just expect her to not move on. She's human, she craves sex probably just as much as I do."
Emma made gagging noises.
"I think that what you need to do is go to her house tonight after I finish closing out the bar and talk to her. Do you remember where she lives?"
"This's insane. Doya honnistlee hear yaself and what yoreee asking me ta do? Her words tumbled from her mouth in a heated rush of barely distinguishable syllables. Emma slumped over the bar counter beating her head against the wood drunkenly. Animalistic sounds echoed off the counter. Ruby couldn't believe the state her friend was in.
She placed a glass of ice cold water in front of her friend and slowly slid a bowl of mixed nuts her way. One could only hope to sober up before a big talk.
She lifted her head as if she rose from the dead and said with one huff of air, "I don't know if I can do that..I mean yes I do want her but it's not right. But she's soooo hot." Emma practically drooled as she visibly thought about her teacher while shoving fist full of nuts in her mouth.
Ruby was trying to keep a straight face on as she watched her friend drunkenly debate whether she wanted to be with her teacher. "Stop being so straight-laced. You honestly are about to lose something good if you keep trying to play it safe. The Emma I know wouldn't do that. Take risks. Live for once. Your entire life you've been denied that. The one chance you get to really be wild and free you close the door. Besides, now you have some liquid courage to help you." She could see that she was starting to persuade her friend.
Emma maybe wasn't ready for the truth, but despite that she knew her friend was right. Her entire life she never had a voice. She never got to decide what she wanted, or where she wanted to go. She had always been a ward of the state. Her voice never mattered, until now.
"Okay, you can do this. Just walk up and knock on her door."
Emma groggily nodded as if she was a zombie.
"But what if she's sleep?" Emma sincerely asked her friend not realizing she missed a word. "Or what if Emily answers the door." Ruby couldn't fight the fits of laughter then. Emma said Emily's name as if she was possessed by a demon from the underworld. It was priceless.
"She won't. Trust me, it's going to be okay." Ruby knew that Regina set that whole scam up. She was doing it for the sole fact to ignite a fire under Emma's ass. Sometimes it takes losing something to really realize what you had. Emily was just a ploy to get Emma to finally realize what she was fixing to lose. She wouldn't put it past the woman to be expecting Emma.
"How are you so con-phee-dent about this?" Emma stressed the syllables.
"I just know. Do you trust me?"
Emma bit her bottom lip. That was a loaded question. She'd never trusted anyone in her life before. Mainly because no one had ever be worthy enough to trust. Ruby was different. She really did look out for Emma's best interest and cared for her. She was a true friend, even when she was a drunken disaster.
"Yes. I trust you." She said honestly.
"Then go get your girl, chica."
Emma stumbled out of the car and nimbly ran up the flights of stairs. Her adrenaline rushing as her five glasses of alcohol finally felt like it kicked in. She stood, slightly swaying, face to face with Regina's apartment door, 108. She could feel her heart soaring in her chest as she confidently knocked three times on the door.
She waited for a few minutes that stretched on to feel like eons, and finally the door opened.
"Emma?"