Lovely readers, sincere apologies for making you wait on this. I got married this weekend and I've had a hectic week. As a gentle reminder, this story is finished with 21 chapters so I'll be continuing to post frequently. Please enjoy. xoxo

A/N: *TRIGGER WARNING* Mentions and descriptions of rape.

xxxx

"Would you ever keep any secrets from me?" Emma asked as she mindlessly played with bubbles floating on top of the water. Her hands wandered about, picking up scoops of the fluffy white foam in her hands. She studied how it crackled against her palms, reacting to her touch. It sounded like static, and something about that was soothing to Emma.

In the back of her mind, she went back to the day before, just before Regina left for the barn. She had been hung up on her confession, about never loving again. Who had she loved.

She closed her eyes and listened to the ambient noise it made along with the noises of water dripping as Regina moved about behind her. The sounds were tranquilizing and the water was so warm as it soaked against her skin. Had Regina done this before, soaked in a tub full of bubbles, with another lover? Emma hated the idea of being just another person Regina had done something so romantic with.

"Not intentionally, why?" Regina answered, as water rippled from her movements behind Emma. She squeezed water from her loofah and added more soap to the rough porous sponge. Rubbing it in, she started washing Emma's bare back. Regina had no idea why Emma would think that she would keep anything from her. She'd been forthcoming with everything.

Regina watched as the soap started to dissolve away from Emma's skin. Her fingers were drawn as she reached out and ran them against her back and trailed slowly across her curves in featherly light touches. Never had she ever felt so close to another human being, so vulnerable. While she was highly experienced under the sheets, moments like this one were new to her.

"Just curious, that's all." Emma said as she shivered from the soft touches.

Regina moved Emma's hair out the way with back of her hand and draped it over her shoulder. Her fingers continued to aimlessly explore Emma's skin as she tried to think up a reason as to why she'd ask that kind of question out of the blue. It caught her a little off guard.

"Did my mother say something last night?" She hesitantly asked as she leaned forward, and kissed the back of Emma's shoulder. At first she was gentle, kissing softly against her skin. Kissing turned into nipping with her teeth at Emma's fresh, delicious, skin. It was too tempting, Regina was drawn to Emma in a way she never expected and right now, all she wanted was to forget about the night before and change the subject. Kissing more of Emma's shoulder, she could feel the effect she was having on her. Emma's body relaxed fully back into her own.

She could hear as Emma's breath grew shallow as her head laid on her chest. Tingles surged through her body like a wildfire that couldn't be contained.

"No." Emma answered breathlessly. "I just-"She stopped, her body was wanting one thing, so she struggled to ask her question. Not to mention, she felt it wasn't the time, nor place for this conversation. She was pushing it, knowing that it was as sensitive topic.

She trusted Regina, more than ever now and she didn't need to know. In time, she knew Regina would tell her on her own. That, however, didn't cure her serious case of curiosity now that she brought it up. She heard the woman speak softly into her ear, "Emma, talk to me?" Hands wandered down and around her waist as Regina held her closer.

She felt safe. More importantly, she felt loved. That was the thing, Regina wanted her to feel comfortable enough to talk about things, even difficult topics.

She felt guilty now. If dropping the subject was an option, she would opt out, but it wasn't at this point. She brought it up, and Regina was never one to back down.

Slipping around the claw footed tub to face the other woman, Emma truthfully told her girlfriend, "It's just that I wasn't really asleep yesterday when you said that thing you said, about never thinking you'd fall in love again." She said timidly, not wanting to upset Regina as her eyes darted away, anywhere but Regina's.

"Emma, look at me." She said lowly.

Nervously, Emma looked up, but instead of what she was expecting, she was met with understanding eyes.

Regina sighed to herself, and brushed a piece of her own hair behind her ear. "About what I said." She tried to begin.

"I… Look, you don't need to tell me." Emma attempted to stop her. "I'm sorry if I pushed too much." Emma instantly tried to fix things. She hated that she made things awkward.

"No, Emma, it's fine. You deserve to know. I have nothing to hide." It was true, she didn't, and it was only a matter of time before she'd tell her about Daniel. She would never hide her first love from someone; especially someone who she had fallen in love with.

"I was with someone when I was younger. Someone that I loved very much. His name was Daniel. He was my first relationship, first anything really. I'd known him for a long time, since I was eight when I got Rocinante. His family owned some horse stables, the same stables I board Rocinante. Daniel got a backseat to my mother's abuse. For years he was there for me as a friend, he knew how much pressure my mother put on me. I told him about when I had to go to rehab and he still stayed, in fact, that's when he first told me that he loved me. We started dating and we planned to graduate and move away together. It was just a few weeks before graduation when my mother caught us together one night." A gloomy expression crossed her face.

"She forced him to leave our house and I was so upset. She told me we were never to see each other again. The thought alone of never seeing him again made me want to die." She said, really torn up as she continued to fight through the pain of the memory.

Her voice cracked a little. "I...I, ra..member," her voice tremembed. "calling him and texting him. He wouldn't respond to me, I got so upset. I just wanted to hear his voice, I wanted him to know that we could still be together, but then he never answered. Then the next day at school we were informed that their was a death in the student body."

"I found out that it was Daniel. It was probably one of the worst ways to find out someone you loved had died. To be sitting in a classroom full of people, and to hear that the person you loved, you'd never see again." She gulped and her eyes glazed over as she continued despite the heartache. "It was later revealed that he was texting and driving. I wasn't ready to hear that. I was in denial at first, but I knew it was my fault. Daniel died because of me. If I had not been so persistent with trying to get ahold of him after he left, then maybe he wouldn't be dead if i'd just left him alone." She paused to consider her next words. "I was just a kid, Emma and my entire world was turned upside down, just hours earlier we were having sex and then the next thing I know I was being told he was gone." A lonely tear traveled the length of her face. "The thought of never seeing someone again to tell them how much you loved them changed something in me."

"Regina." Emma said slowly. She didn't know what to say. Sorry was too trivial of a response. Sorry wouldn't heal her pain. Words failed sometimes when actions seemed to convey what you really felt.

Emma pulled the other woman into her arms. She held her as close as she could in the tight confines of the tub. Emma read once, the longer you hug someone, the more likely they are to be comforted and to feel trust for the other person. So there Emma sat, holding Regina as close and long as she could. She loved the other woman. Seeing how much pain she was in from losing her first love hurt Emma too. You never want your loved ones to hurt, so Emma held her closer, not saying a word.

Never had Emma lost anyone like Regina did. She never experienced that. Though, arguably, she did experience loneliness. She never had anyone that she could lose, until now, and the thought of losing Regina in similar circumstances made her eyes start to water and heart to sink. She couldn't imagine how she'd deal with such a loss.

Regina pulled Emma back from her thoughts as she shifted out of her arms, "I honestly was a mess, romantically, until you. I've never been in a relationship since Daniel, just a slew of one-night stands that consists of mostly women. I just could not let go of the guilt and feeling responsible for him being gone. I didn't think I deserved to love again. One night stands were my way of coping. Then I met you, and you felt different. I didn't want to lose the connection I felt that I had with you, even when I found out you were my student. I wanted you, Emma. Before you, I thought I wasn't capable of loving someone again, so there was no way I was going to give up on you."

Emma understood that. She probably wouldn't have been as strong as Regina. She'd given up completely. She admired her more for her strength and courage to move forward. Though, what Emma struggled with, was why her? She didn't feel special, but to Regina, she was. Maybe that's all that mattered.

"I get how losing Daniel was almost like you lost a part of yourself." She said. "I kind of felt like I lost a part of myself after my last foster home." She said as she continued to talk. "I felt like a piece of me was ripped away from me that night. I don't know how I've been able to put in my past, it's not been easy. Whether I like to admit it or not, it's a part of me. It makes me the person I am now. I think it's also made me look ahead more at my future. All of my energy has been invested in doing well so I can finally move on, no longer a charity case, dumpy old, foster kid." Emma stated as if it were a fact, but maybe it was to her.

"You're not a charity case or dumpy." Regina told Emma. "You're beautiful and have the entire world in the palm of your hand, which you know, you're going to do brilliant things one day Emma. This is just the start of everything for you." She said enthusiastically to cheer up the blonde.

Searching Emma's eyes, she asked cautiously, "Can I ask, what happened?"

Emma looked into trusting eyes. She never told this story to anyone, but she knew she could tell Regina. While Emma felt comfortable to share her darkest memory, it also made her embarrassed. Regina was the only person she'd been with since, which made Regina, in her mind, her first for everything.

She licked her lips, "Alright, but, here's the thing, I'm really embarrassed."

"You don't have to be." Regina said comfortingly. "It's just me."

Emma knew it was just her, but that didn't make it easier.

"No, but that's the thing, Regina." Emma said as she looked up. "I'm embarrassed because I kind of didn't want you to know." She breathed out a big breath of air as she continued, not wanting to leave the brunette waiting. "You're the first person I've ever been with since, then, since… since…" She tried to get those last few words out but she choked, "Since, that night, when I was ra-raped." Her face was flush as that final word rolled off her tongue and out of her parted lips. It felt like a curse, that word held her captive as a prisoner for too long. That one word, scorned her mind late at night, and tortured her self-image. It's the word she filed in a box, in a vault, behind a locked door, and protected by fire-breathing dragons in the depths of her mind. She felt like a freak for not moving on at a faster rate, but it wasn't that easy. She could still see his face and smell his breath as it stained her skin. There were things that were unforgettable.

"Sweetheart, I would have never known, and I don't think it's weird. Do you think it's weird that I have many one-night stands? Everyone copes differently and it wouldn't be fair of anyone to judge you or me for that. Besides, I've never been with someone as intimately as I have with you. Daniel and I had a friendship for a very long time, but in reality we were only together for a short while."

Emma nodded as she ran her hands through the water trying to distract herself. This was it, she processed, she was going to voice her story for the first time. "So you really want to know?" She asked one final time before continuing.

"I do, but only if you're okay with me knowing." Regina wanted Emma to know that she could tell her anything and things wouldn't change or be weird between them. Relationships were about trust and respect.

"His name was Jefferson, Jeff-." Saying his name was the first step. So she repeated, "Jeff… Jeff was his nickname." Her jaw clenched tightly as she saw his face in her mind. "He was a nice guy, quarterback of the football team and an all star athlete. There wasn't a thing about him that wasn't perfect." She laughed at that statement, because now it was far from true. "He had the looks, the friends, and the grades. There wasn't anything about him that his parents couldn't love. At times, he'd go out of his way to make me feel welcomed in their family, he made me really feel like I was his sister. He'd take me to movies and introduce me to people at school so I could make friends for once." Emma frowned. "I really thought it was going to work out, that family just seemed so much better than anything I had before. I finally felt like I belonged and fit in. So I got too comfortable and thought that maybe I'd be lucky enough to be adopted."

Emma paused as she looked at Regina's eyes for reassurance to move forward. Taking in a shaky breath, she felt a warm hand reach for hers and that was all she needed to continue.

"That changed the day I told Jeff I was gay." She bit her lip. She'd always known she was different outside of the fact that she was a foster kid. "It was the same night he… he did it to me. That night, my foster parents were on a date and we were in my room, it wasn't unusual. I trusted him and we would hang out a lot. He sat on my bed and we were chatting away about random things when I admitted I liked girls. He told me I was confused and that I needed a real man. That a real man could make me straight because being gay was an abomination" Emma said as tears filled her eyes threatening to spill down on her cheeks. "Something in him changed, it was scary, he… he pushed me down." She eye's focused on the edge of the tub as she recounted her story. "He yelled at me and told me I was disgusting slut. I was so confused, I tried to get away, but he had a strong hold on me and that's when he grabbed me and held me down. He put his hands around my neck and squeezed. The more he squeezed, the more I felt helpless. I remember thinking: this is it, this is how I'm going to die." The tears finally made their way down her face.

Emma shuddered from cold air that made the hairs on Regina's body stand erect. Her body shriveled up as she continued to listen, maybe she didn't want to hear the rest.

"I tried to scream. I tried, but there was no one there to help me, so I gave up after awhile. I thought he was going to kill me and a part of me was just going to let him. No one would miss a foster kid anyways." She admitted. "At that point, I wanted to die, there wasn't anything I could look forward to. I can still remember the sounds of the headboard. BAM. BAM. BAM. As it repeatedly hit the wall. Each time, I felt a little more of me fade away. To my shock, when he finished, he just spit on me and left without saying a word." Emma laughed at the memory. "He left me there to clean myself up. I couldn't tell on him, I couldn't just call up my social worker and tell her that this perfect family's son raped me." She said in an angry tone as her eyes were still transfixed on the edge of the tub. "No one would believe some foster kid. They'd just get rid of me and send me somewhere horrible. So I ran. I packed the few things that I had, and stole some money from his parents room and I just ran." Emma said coldly.

When she finished, Regina pulled the blonde into her arms, "I will never let anything like that happen to you again, I promise." She said as she held her love close. Regina wanted nothing more than to find out who that kid was and ruin his life because of what he took from Emma.

That was a battle for another day though. The water had long grown cold, and the morning light set through the windows just enough to cast a shadow of their bodies on the tiled floor. They needed to get moving. In just a few short hours, she'd have to take her back to her foster house.

As if thinking the same thing, Emma confessed,"I don't want to go home."

Regina didn't want her to leave either. The weekend was their only time together. Each time they were together, they learned to trust one another more, creating an unbreakable bond. "I don't want you to go either. Doesn't feel right without you here anymore." She said kissing her girlfriend's cheek. "It finally feels like a home to me, with you here. We've started to create some really great memories together."

Emma smiled as she stood and grabbed one of the fluffy towels. It was true, they'd created something special together in some of the most unexpected circumstances.

The engine cut off as the two sat at a crossroads. Emma didn't want to turn to kiss Regina goodbye. She didn't want to get out of her car and walk the painful few blocks home. She just wanted to press rewind on her weekend and relive it. As much as she hated this part of their relationship, she still wouldn't want anything else. She'd rather have Regina and struggle with missing her than to never have had her at all.

"Just a few more weeks, right?" Emma said. She'd completely neglected the idea of what would happen if she got into Harvard. Something told her in the pit of her stomach, that wasn't where she was meant to be.

"That's right. We can do this." Regina reassured. "I'll text you and call you to wish you goodnight."

They'd finally felt comfortable enough to call one another, Emma would sneak out of the room and take the call after Lily had fallen asleep. Hearing Regina's voice always gave Emma more willpower to continue to trudge forward each and every day.

"I love you." Emma said. Those words weighed heavy on her heart, she'd never told someone she'd loved them before.

"I love you too, sweetheart." Regina leaned over and cupped her girlfriend's cheek, "I'll see you tomorrow."

While being home sucked, Emma put all of her energy into cleaning up the kitchen, doing laundry, and getting her homework done. Regina texted her throughout the entire time, both of them were shamelessly flirting back and forth. Regina had the power to put a cheesy smile on her face, and it was one that was much needed and appreciated.

Tossing her phone on her bed, she stood and went to take a shower before heading to bed. Little did Emma know that Regina would be heading to bed earlier than usual that night. The phone sat on Emma's twin bed, it lit up, and a notification sound went off.

Hey sweetheart, I have a meeting early tomorrow, so I'm heading to bed early. I love you and I can't wait to see you front and center of my class tomorrow. Hopefully you're lucky and I won't torture you by calling on you for every question.

Lily's head perked up from the notification sound. Realizing that Emma was in the shower, she snuck over to the other side of the room. Picked up the dated cell phone and read the message.

"I knew it." She hissed. "She's going to so be screwed now." Lily said as she took a picture of the text that was from Emma's teacher, Ms. Mills. Holding the older track phone, Lily marked the message unread before she placed the phone back in it's spot, not wanting to give away that she snooped.

"What a fucking whore, bangin' her teacher thinking no one would find out their scandal. She's so stupid. I finally got you Em,' you can kiss your pretty girlfriend goodbye. I can't wait to have this room to myself." Lily practically cheered as she pranced over to her bed.

The door to the bathroom opened, and Lily took her cue, and jumped into her bed and pretended to be asleep as she heard Emma shuffling back down the hall to the room.

When Emma came back she noticed Lily was asleep, she saw the new message and smiled. She loved being Regina's teacher pet. It annoyed Killian to wits end.

Seeing that Lily was asleep, she quickly called Regina.

"Hey babe, I was in the shower, I'm sorry I didn't answer." Emma said.

She heard a very tired Regina answer, "That's okay." She yawned, "I have to meet with some of the other history teachers tomorrow morning."

"Well then you should go to sleep. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow."

"I love you too."

The call ended.

While Emma was gleaming from ear to ear, she didn't know her foster sister was eaves dropping the entire time, plotting against her.

Unlike most days at lunch, Emma found herself walking to her Regina's classroom. She'd never gone there at lunch time. She kind of always stayed a respectable distance away while at school, for the most part.

She rounded the corner and entered the empty familiar room. Regina's perfume caught her first. It made Emma think back to Saturday morning. When she first walked into Regina's room, she smelled her fresh perfume.

Regina sat at her desk, her hair sat perfectly on her shoulders and her glasses sat adorably on her nose. She was typing on her keyboard deep in concentration and didn't know Emma had walked in.

Emma was standing at Regina's desk, who still had yet to notice she was there. She cleared her throat, causing Regina's body to practically levitate from her chair as she realized another person was in the room with her.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack." She snapped, but instantly warmed as she noticed it was Emma. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

"I missed you and thought I'd sneak up here real fast to see you."

Regina smiled. She reached her hand out and squeezed Emma's. "Do you think you'll have some time to come see me tonight?"

Emma wanted to, but she felt bad, she'd neglected Ruby these past few days. Normally after school she'd go to the library and to the bar. Recently, she'd just been going to the library, mainly because she was required to.

"Even if it's for a goodnight kiss, I wouldn't miss it for the world." Emma confirmed.

Looming outside the classroom, Graham stood in shock. He'd followed Emma up to the classroom, confused as to where she was going since he needed to ask her a few questions about prom things at lunch. Prom was in four days, he needed her now more than ever.

Seeing all of this between Ms. Mills and Emma confirmed what he suspected weeks ago. He gave his friend the benefit of the doubt, not expecting something like this would occur at their school.

"I love you." He heard.

"I love you too." He cringed as he heard them kiss.

"You should go before someone notices you're here. I'll see you in less than two hours."

Graham quickly dodged behind a drink machine as he watched his friend, or so he thought, walk from the room. He felt deceived and made out to be a fool. First he thought they were going to be a couple. He always wanted to take Emma to the prom, not Tink. Then she lied to him and told him Ruby was her girlfriend, but what was the truth anymore? Was that a cover up to save face.

"How many things are you keeping from me." He murmered aloud to himself as he watched the lanky blonde fade into the distance in the direction to the cafeteria.

Graham wasn't going to be made out to be a fool.

Instead of walking away from the situation entirely, he walked into Ms. Mills' classroom.

"I know." Was all he said.

Regina was smart. She knew exactly what he was referring to.

"Is that so, Graham?" She stood from her chair and cornered him against one of the student desks.

"What makes you think that this is okay? It's sick." He spat in her face.

"Well that's your opinion, but fortunately nobody asked you what you thought. What do you want?" She said. She wasn't going to let some pathetic student get in the way of her and Emma.

"What I want is for Emma to be with me." He argued.

She leaned forward, towering over him. "Listen to me very closely, you'll not say a word about this to anyone, you'll keep your mouth shut and forget everything you know. I will allow you to retake those last two tests you failed. Is that understood?" She leaned in, just an inch from his face."

Intimated was an understatement. He could tell how protective she was over Emma.

Her voice rose in a more tense tone. Through gritted teeth she said, "Is that understood, Graham?"

He nodded and scampered off from his teacher's classroom. Graham didn't know what to do, but for now getting the hell out of there was his only option.

Regina sagged against her desk, it was becoming increasingly harder to protect their relationship. She loved Emma more than anything and would do anything to make sure she was taken care of. No one else in her life ever cared enough to do that for her, it was now Regina's turn to assume that role.

When you love someone, you'll do anything to keep them safe.