Bella took her seat across from Esme. Her plate had been replaced with a glass of ice and a generous pour of bourbon. Behind the glass, sat the bottle just waiting for a refill. Bella blanched when she read the label. It was a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle bourbon. She'd heard Charlie and Billy talking about it and was pretty sure it cost well over $100 dollars.
She couldn't stop herself. Out from her lips came a whispered, "Stupid money spending vampires". Laughter rang around the table and Bella went from stark white to beat red, clapping her good hand over her mouth when she realized what she had said.
Emmett pretended to wipe tears from his eyes and said, "Life was so boring without you around Bellsie-boo".
Bella turned to a still chuckling Carlisle and said, "Carlisle, there's no way I can afford to replace this bottle."
However, it was Esme's turn to reassure her, "Bella dear, that bottle was gifted to Carlisle and would simply continue sitting in his office if you didn't enjoy it tonight."
So Bella gave in and picked up the glass. She took several sips. It was good stuff, that was for sure. Staring into the glass as it rested on the tabletop, she began to speak.
"It all started after you left. For several months I did nothing but go to school, work on my homework and keep the house up. I thought I was doing a pretty decent job fooling Charlie into thinking I was fine. Turns out I wasn't. One night at dinner he had enough. He slammed his fist on the table and told me he was at his wits end and sending me to Florida. To live with Renee. Charlie didn't want me to go but he didn't know how else to fix his zombie daughter and thought my mother would be a better influence."
Bella finally looked up. "I freaked. I shouted and threw things and swore I wouldn't go. I begged and pleaded and promised to be a better daughter. It was a turning point for me. You see, he had promised it would be as if you had never existed. And there in Forks, I had the memories, I could believe you all had been real. Bright, sunny Florida? I was terrified because I knew it would all start to feel like it had been nothing more than a dream."
"Charlie agreed to let me stay, he was actually happy about the tantrum – said it was the most alive he had seen me since that night." Bella paused and took another sip of the bourbon, unsure she wanted to tell them about Sam finding her catatonic in the woods.
She should have known it wouldn't get past her vampires though.
"Bella dear, what do you mean when you say 'that night'?" Esme asked.
Bella looked at Alice with a raised eyebrow, silently asking if she had seen. Alice shook her head in a negative answer. Bella enjoyed the warmth of the bourbon flowing through her before ripping the wound completely open.
"Ed…" She couldn't do it, couldn't say his name, "He had taken me into the woods – just behind Charlie's and still in sight of the house mind you – to tell me you all had left. That he was leaving."
She felt the tears start again, and took another, albeit small, sip. "I knew he no longer wanted anything to do with me, but I couldn't stop myself. I tried to follow him. I wandered through the woods for hours, tripping and getting back up and wandering again until I just couldn't get back up anymore. Charlie called out a search team and Billy sent some boys over from the reservation to help. It was Sam Uley who eventually found me and brought me back to Charlie."
"Oh Sweet Bella," Esme cried.
Over by Emmett came the sound of cracking wood. "He left you in the WOODS?!" roared Emmett.
Bella raised her hand as she felt Jasper sending calm again. "Emmett, Charlie's house was in sight when he left. I was the stupid fool who tried to follow him."
As Emmett slowly calmed down, Bella reached for the bottle. Her glass was already empty and she certainly needed a refill. Carlisle beat her to it and she smiled her thanks. It was a good thing there was a doctor in the house – furniture was already getting broken and Bella hadn't even gotten to Laurent's part in the story yet. She figured she was in for a heck of a hangover come morning.
Esme must have been thinking along the same lines. She excused herself and returned with a plate of cookies.
"Thanks Esme," Bella said with a genuine smile as she traded the glass for a cookie.
"So anyway, after that fight with Charlie, I started making more of an effort for his sake. The next day I made plans to see a movie with Jessica and stumbled on some old motorcycles that I asked Jake to help me rebuild."
Bella blushed and grabbed another cookie. Was she really going to admit to the Edward hallucinations?
"Motorcycles Bella?!" came the disapproving comment from Alice.
Yes, yes it seemed like she was going to admit to them after all….
It took a gentle push from Jasper before she was able to continue, "Yes Alice. You see, when Jessica and I went to the movies that night, we passed some men on the street who reminded me of the men from Port Angeles."
The hiss from Rosalie told Bella she didn't need to explain which men, "That was the first time I saw…heard him."
The Cullen's were confused. They knew 'him' meant Edward but as far as they knew, he had never returned to Bella.
Gently, Carlisle spoke, "Bella, Edward has never returned to Forks since he left you that day."
Grimacing in pain at his name, Bella responded, "Oh I know Carlisle. You see it was just a figment of my imagination. A very real one that I've found appears whenever I'm in any danger. Hence the motorcycles."
Carlisle actually started choking. Stuttering, he demanded, "You…were hallucinating…Edward and you… you actively sought to induce more hallucinations?!"
Bella needed another sip of that excellent brandy before she could answer. Rotating the glass in her hand she said, "I knew it was a bad idea Carlisle, and I'm not proud of it, but I was desperate to hold on to the image of an Edward who loved me."
'Hell who I am kidding…I'm still desperate for that' Bella thought to herself.
"So I took the motorcycles to Jacob, telling him he could keep one for payment. We became good friends spending days working on the bikes or hiking through the woods. You see, I'd also become desperate to find the meadow. I was convinced it held the key to triggering my imagination." She knew she wouldn't need to explain which meadow.
Bella took the time to enjoy another cookie. She really was partial to chocolate chip.
Bella's voice turned sorrowful with the memories, "And then things changed again. Charlie started getting reports of hikers going missing. Jake got sick, mono I was told, and when he got better he didn't have time for me anymore. He had a new pack of friends."
"Charlie began getting reports of wild animal sightings and made me promise to stay out of the woods. I tried, truly I did. But I was getting desperate to trigger another vision by then, felt more alone than ever and Jake and I had come pretty close to finishing our grid search for the meadow. I was confident I could find it. So that's exactly what I did."
Esme gasped, "Oh no, Bella, you didn't go into the woods alone!"
Bella gave her a sheepish grin, "Yep and I actually found the meadow. It was dead and dreary, not the happy place I had remembered and did nothing to trigger a hallucination. Laurent sure did when he made his presence known though."
Bella wondered when she had become vindictive since she quite enjoyed dropping that particular bomb on them.
They had all frozen. Bella gave them time to process. Then the questions all came at once.
"But the Denali's said Laurent disappeared?"
"Laurent did this to you?!"
"What was Laurent doing near Forks?!"
Bella held her hand up again for silence.
"Laurent had every intention of killing me that day. I noticed fairly quickly that his eyes were a murky red when I expected them to be golden. I lied my ass off but it did no good. Laurent knew you all were gone and he was thirsty. He had every intention of draining me but promised I wouldn't feel a thing. In fact…I believe his words were he was doing me a kindness."
Jasper was having trouble containing the horror and anger in the room. He sputtered out the words "a kindness?!" in disbelief.
Bella looked at him with pity because she knew this was just the start of the revelations, "Yes Jasper, a kindness. You see Laurent was there to scout the area as a favor for Victoria. She, it seemed, planned to kill me slowly and painfully since she mistakenly believed I was Ed… his mate and James had been hers."
That did it…more wood started popping around the room. Alice looked like she wanted to cry, Jasper and Emmett had both destroyed the armrests to their chairs and even Rosalie was cringing. Carlisle had a sobbing Esme wrapped in his arms. Carlisle himself looked shell shocked.
Bella could only assume they never once considered Victoria would target her.
Bella took a sip of her water this time and then quietly headed for the restroom. She figured they needed a moment to process what she had revealed so far.
It was Emmett who finally broke the silence, "I don't understand. How is she here? How is she alive? There is no way Bella could have gotten away from Laurent."
Alice asked, "Could Laurent have changed his mind in the end? Protected her instead?"
Jasper shook his head, "No, it wasn't Laurent. I felt Bella's sincerity when she said he intended to kill her. I don't think that emotion would have been so strong if she knew he had then changed his mind."
Jasper's tactical mind spun and he turned to Carlisle, "The Denali's then? They knew of Bella's importance to us and Laurent was staying with them. Could one of them have followed and interceded on Bella's behalf?"
Carlisle shook his head, "That's possible but highly unlikely. The Denali's said Laurent disappeared. And this isn't something Tanya or Eleazar would have kept from me. At the very least they would have informed us of Victoria. No, I think the Denali's have no knowledge of this."
Carlisle could think of only one possibility but it would be a long shot if he was correct.
Bella stepped back in the room and he observed her silently.
Bella asked, "Are you guys ready to continue or do you need more time?"
Carlisle held her eyes and answered her question with one of his own, "We owe the Quileutes for your safety, don't we Isabella?"
Bella nodded her head, "The pack formed when you all returned to Forks. They waited until they were certain of Laurent's intent and then, yes, they took him out."
Esme asked the next question, "So you were caught between Laurent and the wolves? Is that how your arm was injured?"
"No Esme, Laurent never managed to lay a hand on me – a good thing because he was winding up for an 'instant death' kinda blow."
"The wolves chased Laurent away from me day, and I spent the next week waiting for either Victoria or Laurent to show. Then I 'guessed' the packs secret with Jake's 'help' and learned that they had destroyed him," Bella explained as she made air quotes with the fingers of her left hand.
"The next year and a half was spent in a grotesque game of hide and seek as the pack made every effort to destroy Victoria and Victoria attempted to get past them to me."
Bella sighed, "And I almost made it easy for her chasing my hallucinations. I finally stopped when Jake promised to take me cliff diving and then was late. I gave up waiting for him and like an addict desperate for my fix, I went alone."
Esme gasped, "No Bella!"
Bella polished off her brandy and then reassured Esme with a smile, "It's alright Esme, I wasn't suicidal. This was recreational, the La Push kids jump those cliffs all the time".
Then Bella's grin dropped, "But I was reckless. Most of the kids jump from lower down. I chose the higher cliffs the pack jumps from. And I was so lost in enjoying the visions I never noticed how the weather was turning."
"Thankfully Jake had rushed to find me after Victoria gave them the slip. He was afraid she'd come through the water knowing I wanted to go to the cliffs. He grabbed me before I could jump, and beat some sense into me when he had to point out how rough the water had gotten."
"That was that last time I sought out a vision."
Bella reached for another cookie and slowly nibbled on it as a delaying tactic. She wasn't looking forward to telling this last part of her story. She usually did her best to avoid remembering that day, yet she knew it was the answer Carlisle was waiting for.
Cookie finished, she forced herself back to that day at First Beach.
"For close to two years, I spent a lot of time hanging out on the reservation, and we all found ways to include Charlie for his own protection. Helped the pack not to divide their resources so much, you know? They were already pressed so thin, trying to cover shifts, sleep, deal with family members who weren't privy to the pack secret."
Bella wiped a tear from her eye, "I really owe them all so much."
"I guess Victoria eventually grew tired of waiting for the wolves to make a mistake. We were on First Beach that afternoon, setting up for a bon fire planned for the evening. Those on patrol sounded the alarm, but this time it wasn't just Victoria."
Bella stopped as the memories flooded in. She couldn't do this yet. Shaking her head, she pushed back from the table and rushed for the doorway she'd seen in the kitchen. She fumbled with the handle, when a pale hand reached around her and opened it for her. As soon as the physical barrier was gone, Bella dashed into the backyard and collapsed to her knees in the grass.
Bending forward, she braced her body with her left hand and took several deep breaths. She honestly wasn't sure if she was going to break down crying or puke her guts out. All she knew was that she hadn't taken such a long walk through her past in one sitting before. She was incredibly grateful for Jasper when she felt his influence settling over her.
Someone sat down in the grass beside her. They didn't say a word, just sat there keeping her company. As her overwhelmed state receded, she adjusted herself so she was sitting rather than kneeling. Looking to her left, she realized it was Carlisle who was with her. She was surprised she found his presence comforting already.
They sat like that for a long while, Carlisle allowing Bella the space she needed to decide when conversation would occur.
Finally, she was ready to continue her story but didn't want to move.
"I'm sorry, Carlisle. The memories…they aren't easy."
Caressing the hair away from her face, he said, "I don't imagine they would be. You don't owe us any apologies, Sweetheart. Rather is it us who should be giving them to you."
Bella sat in silence and absorbed the beautiful views in the Cullen's back yard. It was early fall and the aspens decorating the mountains behind the house were beginning their transition to what she knew would be a beautiful golden display. Much like the eyes of the family who lived here. Finally, she stood up and they made their way back to the dining room where Bella continued her tale.