Extremely, extremely sorry this took such a long a time. I know so many people have been awaiting this, thank you everyone who had the patience for it. Here's a treat for you, its probably one of he longest chapters I've ever written in any of my fics. I decided to alter the course of the story. This a dicey chapter, I may not update this story anymore after this according to the reviews that is. You can perceive this chapter however you want to, its ambiguous.
This story was initially written from raw concepts and there are certain parts I don't like, not at all. I've said this earlier, this was inspired from another fics so yes credits go to her. Beyond this if I continue to write this everything will be new, uncontaminated, This might undergo revision.
A happy whole more than 2 years to me writing Sasuhina fanfictions.
TRIGGER WARNING: DEATH.
WHAT THE LIVING WON'T HAVE.
Sasuke had a few theories like any other significant person would when examining something unusual. Yet he felt there was a missing link, one organism that is supposed to assemble both characters of phylums. Something that could solidify his assumptions. So he made hyuga sit in front of him and narrate to him her entire life. She was hesitant at first then she complied. Her genin days and those before that when he was in vicinity of hers things didn't seem out of place. Normalcy wasn't an option, those were war days he'd be suspicious if it went like mundane days of her as of now. Well not really now but maybe before he came, before he discovered everything he wished he didn't have.
She would occasionally pause, reshift when it came to her childhood and a rather bittersweet topic, Neji. Talking about him gave her a giddy edge which would be soon followed by one of melancholy. He wouldn't understand her pain but he could relate to some levels, his own siblingship doomed because of some power hungry madman. He caught glimpses of his or his missed life he could have had at the very moments of hers. What life would have been if he didn't follow orochimaru blindly only to fall into a trap deeper. It felt eerie how her life came to be what it was today without any single utterance of him even though how similar they ultimately were.
His focus was mostly after the war, he wanted to know what exactly were the repercussions of having recovered from war with a loss of you that still remained painfully awake among others. She told him how she would cry nights after nights without intending, how she couldn't breathe in Hyuga manor because everywhere she saw she saw him standing there, smirking or training. She would try to be content for his decision that he concluded to be right but some nights she cursed, her throat hoarse from silently screaming as to why he had to leave her. She hadn't even had a mere chance to know him properly. The visualization left her breathless. With a whisper she admitted how she was drawn to take excessive psychedelic drugs that would someday maybe lead to overdose. Everytime she grabbed a handful of pills she felt as if someone jerked her hands and threw the pills everywhere. This was a rather common occurrence till she was 19.
At 19 years old having waited enough for her rejection or confession she finally took a step that lead them to the moon and back, literally. She narrated all the happenings that happened, intricate and personal details that Sasuke never had access to. He was aware of the moon mission and the aftermath that led from it. He was oddly irked at how romantic, picturesque everything was and how sinfully she would smile; one that of phlegm when it came to Naruto.
To him it was bizarrely rushed especially when he took his sweet time to get his head straight before indulging or oppressing himself at the indulgence that kept others as in Naruto and kakashi very invested. He recollected a pang of hatred he harbored for the Hyuga when he heard of that news. Naruto getting in a relationship with someone he knew way before their marriage and he hoped that it would be sometime before things got settled. Once it did that would only pressurize Sasuke to take a step in his own personal life, one that was already predestined. Hah.
"Initially, " She hesitated. Her mouths parting and closing as if debating whether she should say or what shall be said. She pressed her lips together as her old habits of poking the hem of her shirt started itching. "I wanted to be the ideal girlfriend anybody would dream to have. The one shy, understanding, loving and cooking meals with doses of happiness one would be full off. I was not as pretty and successful as sakura Or tempting like Ino, "
Sasuke had to bit back a frown at that particular testament. She wasn't pretty? Successful? Tempting? Sakura wasn't the first person that came to his mind when the word pretty hit his brain. It hasn't been that long but to picturize Sakura took him a lot of time than he intended to. As it came together, pieces by pieces he couldn't find any pretty features not like the regal features that sat in front of him. Sakura or Ino(he didn't quite remember her whole face, it was half covered and half feigned) didn't had a soft curve of their facial bones that managed to make everything adorable. They didn't have a soft upturn of a cute nose that went red while drinking. They didn't have luscious lips that seemed so appealing after continual torture of them being bitten into. They didn't have that lifted cheek bone that touched her long lashes; an illusioned as if her doe eyes was the address that led to the moon. They didn't have that poise, composure or the stubbornness that came etched into them.
Even if they had, Sasuke didn't notice. Not when he already saw her.
He cursed inwardly, this was teens all over again. He wasn't supposed to defend her or encourage her, he is supposed to interrogate and fish out narrow inklings.
"Sasuke? " She asked. "Are you listening?" Nervousness came alongside her, he hummed his preference choosing not to dwell on an already wasted time. He saw a frown upon her face, her cheeks puffed a little and brows furrowed. How was she supposed to be not tempting?
"I… I wanted to be that person who held his family while he was protecting the village. I was more than content at that thought, I tried to be happy when flocks of girl would gush him everywhere. He was getting recognized by everyone and I.. I was happy with everything even though nothing seemed realistic. But then he forgot our dates, when he did remember he came late because he was so swarmed with girls praising him or because work called or because Sakura-chan wanted him on something. I would laugh and wave little things away. I did not deserve the happiness or so I reminded myself over and over. I tried Sasuke, I really tried but I was exhausted. " Her lips trembled as if chewing down tears that would melt like plastic releasing toxins in the air.
Sasuke had an urge, irresistible urge to go yank her so she could sit in his lap. He groaned, he wasn't supposed to be thinking this things, again.
"A few months, I was living how I imagined Neji wanted me to be happy. The kisses, the hugs, the sneak outs, I was ecstatic. Then it simmered down, I would feel uneasy. I would notice how girls, pretty girls would slip their fingers up his arm and he let them. Randomly I would wake up on a cold night, my blanket tossed to the floor and me sweating profusely. I didn't had to take meds anymore, the effect lingered. It happened a few nights before he proposed to me. The proposal. " A sad smile lingered on her lips. Those lips that he kissed fervently a few days before.
It was appealing, he wanted to make that mistake again.
"For myself I wanted some space. For once Sasuke, for once I wanted to run away. I was tired….for everything…..it..it felt like being trapped. But…but I was guilty, guilty for Neji, guilty for Hanabi, guilty for father, it seemed like an ideal life and it was! In the beginning the kisses, love,him…" she was shaking, her closed damp eyes berating her courage. "I..I wanted some time. I don't remember those nights much but I remember my pregnancy. I got pregnant and he proposed. It was a promise he would love me everyday, our kids, our family, his dream. I said yes, I was terrified of raising a kid alone, I did not in any way want my kids to be involved in Hyuga politics. I knew he would protect them, there was no one better for my kids but him. It all happened in a night and we got married the next week. I was still 19,... and in love."
Her hands found their way into each other, they were interlocked in a sickly pale manner that coated them. Hinata was hyperventilating, falling down and breaking apart.
"Then everything went by really fast, life with kids and he was at home. Every night was a dream worth living over and over. Until…" she bit her bleeding lips.
For Sasuke it was the same tragedy but in another font. Sakura followed after him and he was strictly commended by Kakashi to let her go. Those were the few years Tsunade could be in active duty before retiring. She deserved this, she deserved that. He complied, he hoped this journey would demotivate her into the future. It didn't, somehow, one night they ended up drunk and the next thing he remembered was getting confronted about the pregnancy. He was…disgusted.
He didn't like her, in any romantic way. It felt like a baggage he has to carry for the rest of his life. Never complained since he also believed he didn't deserve the happiness. Sakura was the reminder of his deeds, a constant alarm that reminded him to redeem. Just like Naruto she was an important part but he couldn't picture himself holding her in any manner. It felt terribly incest. Unsure of his feelings when Sakura confronted him, she was fine with raising a kid alone, that he didn't have any obligations, relief dawned on him. The least she deserved or he could provide was his last name.
She was shaking terribly when there was a knock on the door. Both frowned. Wobbly, unstable, she trudged to the front doors to locate an ANBU standing there. "Hokage Sama calls for you, report immediately, Hinata Sama."
"I don't want to. "
"We are assigned to bring you to him. If you must rebel—"
"Don't touch me! " Hinata stepped back, her byakugan flaring in disrespect. "I..I will go. "
Sasuke stood at the doorway of their conjoined kitchenette, his kusanagi flaring in bloodlust. Too bad they didn't touch or it would have been the last thing they ever did.
Naruto sat at his desk thoroughly going through the new set up of an apartment complex. He was however distracted by the lithe hand that was travelling up and down through his thighs suggestively. He had a hard time controlling himself to not pound her in this very table. "Sakura chan~" he mewled, dragging his nose across her jaw. One of his hands dove itself in the crook of her neck, swaying her pulses. A simple touch made her moan wantonly.
"Ahhhh Naruto I want you." He understood because he wanted her too. He peppered kisses along her face when the door burst open. He retracted his hands in hurry when he saw Hinata, his hime standing there, her pale face horror stricken.
He watched her intently, she looked weaker.
She has always been weak. Why not be strong like Sakura-chan?
Her face was paler, hollowed cheeks and staunch cheekbones.
Why couldn't she be healthier? Why couldn't she possess sharp features and not chummy weird ones? Why couldn't she be more alluring to eyes like Sakura-chan?
Her shoulders were slouched, she never looked straight, she never saw him in the eye.
Why was she always so pitiful? Why couldn't she be more confident like Sakura-chan?
Midnight tresses bedecked her visage. Her face was hardly decipherable.
Always so meek, always so damn sheltered. Why couldn't pull that horrible hair out of her face? Sakura-chan doesn't have any hair coaxing her, why must she always be so mournful?
Her attire comprised of lavender, bleached sickly lavender.
Why must she be so boring? So depressing? So tragic? Why couldn't she wear brighter colors like Sakura-chan does?
Knees were oddly twisted inwards, nails grown; She looked stale and nasty.
What does it take to stand properly? She looked like a haggard living in a slum. He provided them housing, food and all comforts and this is what he gets to see? Sakura-chan never stood like she had disease, she always stood straight and assertive. Why does this woman always drag his name in the mud?
Doe, ghost-like eyes stared at him horror stricken. He blanched. Pupil less, sickening eyes.
So disturbing, those eyes like someone scraped pupils out of it. At Least his kids didn't have those heinous eyes. Her eyes could've been any color, maybe green even, like Sakura-chan's ? Why these vile eyes?
He was disgusted. Utterly disgusted looking at her, head to toe, she shivered like an old leaf. Her lips were bleeding and her hands looked like bones manacled together in a cursed, long, weak and nauseating. She walked like a malnourished patient, like a negative spirit that loomed on auspicious occasions.
"Hinata. " It was vomit inducing, her name like a worm that ate up leaves, that destroyed cultivation and wished starvation.
"W-why is s-she here?" She was shaking, her voice broke but it was nothing compared to her heart that was pounded into dust and spit on her own face.
"Sakura-chan?" His voice oddly softened. "I trust her. " He hated her stutter, he hated when she spoke like a 3 year old imbecile.
"I-i don't. " She steeled herself. He saw Naruto's eyes flash repugnance for her, his own wife, the mother of his two kids. "If y-you want to talk like…like h-husband and—"
"Shut up!" He roared. Abruptly he stood from his chair and stalked her. He was tired so tired of her weak, abominable form always whining like a fucking swine. "Stop complaining so damn much!"
The terror that coursed through her body was an understatement to her trepidation, the phases of loathe she saw for herself in his eyes. Naruto's eyes. The blue she fell in love with, the boy she had admired before herself, the teen that she had jumped to die for, the teen that her brother died to save, the man she had kids with, the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She saw the face scrunch in aversion when he stalked her. She took feeble steps back.
"W-what—"
In a moment he was in front of her, pinching both of her cheeks with his single bandaged hand. His thumb punctured her left cheek and his other fingers dug in her right cheek. Her lips quivered, forcefully parted, scared, so scared of the man she has always loved the most.
His eyes morphed into a red fiery rage that Hinata heard happens when he is enraged; fighting a villain. Malice was emanating from every pore of his body, the leakage was stinging her like a thousand nefarious bees. It throttled her, she let out a petrified cry.
"Why don't we talk about you, Hime?" His hands propelled themselves further into her cheeks, redness smeared across her face like blood pouring out of her heart. It went erratic, the nerves on her brain electrified inducing a throbbing headache. She saw nothing but a murderer's eyes on her. "Why don't you tell you how you let a man who is not your husband touch you?" His other hand slipped inside her hooded leaving trails of acid across her pale, bluish skin. She was hyperventilating, she was losing her mind.
His fingers skimmed through her torso pinching across her abdomen. She recused, crying how much it hurt, it bled. "You let him kiss you didn't you?" He pressed his mouth on hers, delving in her mouth, slurping her tongue. He bit her tongue and let the warm blood relinquish into their conjoined muscles. Diligently he sucked on her tongue, biting her Moreso often. His lips abused hers, he clamped her already bleeding upper lips between his teeth to pull it. A layer of epithelium peeled itself endorsing them with fresh wounds. He did it again and again until there was no tissue to shed on those eldritch lips. He tore away all the veneers from either of her lips.
He pulled away and admired her tear stricken, blood curdling face. Her freshly raked lips smelled heavenly, the smell of oxidizing blood spread a sheer sense of euphoria over him. Inside her clothing, he plunged his hands to her bosom to pinch her there. The thorough abuse lasted longer on her nipples, nails digging through flesh mounds, screaming for rehabilitation.
"Did you let him fuck you too, Hime?" He spat. Retracting his hands from her as they broke into hives.
"You pathetic woman! Why couldn't you be the ideal wife huh? Why did you have to let someone else put their hands on you? You're a slut, a fucking slut!"
He lunged at her, grabbing a fistful of those wicked midnight hair. Her hands that were frostbitten shot up in a reflex to remove his hands. "I wasted my life on you. All these years…all these years and you are still the weird creepy girl you were back then! Weak little pathetic girl that whines everywhere! You're selfless!? You're the most selfish person I've seen!"
"I can't stand you. I can't fucking stand you." He jerked her away. The papers stacked on his table were thrown, pens fell, inks leaked and heart, broken. With disgust he scrounged through the table halting only when a few sheets of paper graced his hands. He raised them in victory and pushed them into her chest. "Don't carry my name anymore. You're not my wife anymore. I divorce you."
She broke.
Into thousand brittle pieces of ugly glass shards ready to perforate her already shrewd shell.
A maniacal laughter broke her throat. It wasn't even a laugh anymore, it was way too injured to even pass a voice. It sounded like a pathetic whimper, just like he said.
He was right, he has always been right. That is why she followed him, that is why she stalked in his shadows. She loved him through and through. For years she had not dared to think about other men. How could he just leave her like that? Something snapped pronouncedly inside the bleached, pupiless eyes of Hinata, something that exploded into sharp blades of refutation. She refused to leave him, how could she? he was in her every breath, every millimeter of blood that pumped itself through her, in her kids blood in her existence. She moulded herself to be fit for him.
"You're leaving me!? You're leaving me for her? You're leaving her kids for her!? You–"
"Who told you I'm leaving my kids? They're mine and I'll be taking them from you. I'm leaving you."
"For her!? After all that we've been through, after neji died for us!"
"For you! What will you say now? That you were the victim? Always the weak victim? You're the thief! You made me guilty of not loving you! I can never love someone as weedy as you! I hate you Hinata, I hate you!"
No protests left her body, nothing. She felt nothing, numb. She saw in the cerulean eyes of his in which she found comfort abhorring her with all their might. She found the man who dictated her love, who she deemed worth more than her own life, crumbled her and spit in the sewer. She found the tan skin she came to love accusing her of stealing their happiness. She found the person in whom she made her home, wreck it and push her in the splinters. She found the man who once swore to protect her now turning his back because…because she was weak, pathetic and worthless.
She could save none, she could do good to none.
She doesn't deserve to live this life that Neji gave her.
She doesn't deserve to let anymore air in her body.
She was a failure, a disappointment like her Father said to her all the years ago when her mother died.
Mother. Neji. Wait for me.
Sasuke appreciated the decision he took years ago to stay away from kids. The hyūga woman was nowhere in sight and babysitting the kids for this long took a substantial toll on his mental health that the war wouldn't even come close to.
As a father he appreciated the company of his daughter who was calm, composed just like him. However the devil spawn brat who gave him putrid nicknames clung to him like a second skin and chewed his brain throughout was a dead giveaway the next time he leaves this cursed village he was not coming back, ever. She was as annoying as her mother.
Irresponsible hyūga woman. It was evening, the sun was rolling back out of the horizon and she was nowhere in sight. Or senses. He couldn't sense her since afternoon. He trusted her to be sane enough to come back to the devil kids yet at half past 6 amidst the humid air something was crawling on his spine.
'It's too late.'
"Oi little hyūga." He stood up from the couch running a frustrated hand through his scalp.
"Papa?" Sarada asked with concern, lacing her voice. Hyūga-san was nowhere to be found. She never asked where she was, that'd be provoking privacy. He didn't answer her anything, things were too complex to put in words.
"Sasu-sama?" Yes, somehow the annoying hyūga spawn contorted her 'sasu' nicknames in a rotation to call him. 'Sasu-nii',' sasu-kun', 'sasu-chan', sasu-sama'. He believed it was pure evil for the woman to leave her in his care.
"Go call your aunt and ask her to come here." Someone needed to watch the kids while he goes to search for the woman who is currently being an utter idiot. Who's surprised?
"Okie!" She hopped through the living room scattered with rubbish. She knew how to call her aunt, a skill she learnt for the safety of her okaa-san.
On the call, she giggled, joked and told her aunt how much she missed and it would be so fun if she came over now. For the last bit of reluctance she used her iconic freelance license of 'daddy isn't home! Hima is feeling sad, can't hanabi née come to her?' That worked like magic, Hanabi was present at the doors within 10 mins. Sasuke observed the kid who made a fallacy for an adult in moments. She sure is talented.
"And you are mister?" Cautious, Hanabi was already in her byakugan stance. She couldn't sense him at all. Who was he?A terrific gasp left her mouth when she saw his chakra signature. Goosebumps waved through her skin, it had been a while since she felt this powerless against someone. Monstrous.
"Uchiha Sasuke. " she was a woman of short stature and firm will. Unlike Hinata's doe like eyes hers were sharper, calculating and though terrified refused to cower. "Keep an eye on kids. Anything happens to them, you'll bear the consequences. " He left the house after the short notice he provided to Hanabi. He was in no mood for chit chat.
At the top of probably the tallest building of Konoha, he was disappointed, gravely so when there so notable source of or even trace of her chakra he would find. He had his ways of pining out a person dead or alive but he doubted this flakey place would still stand as proud as it seems after he sent a wave of his chakra. The lowest frequency would cause ruckus; an objective he didn't want to prosper on.
That left in a void. The Hyūga woman had no courtesy to brief him on where she went on evening walks deserting the kids. Not knowing any destination he hopped around the eeriest place he could pin- the memorial. Drips of dread were pumping in his arteries as he heaved through tall buildings, shrewd canopies and lively public.
Across the memorial there were faint sounds of wood bristles against marbles. Shades of blue weaved across the canvas with splatter of orange hues, melancholy rested undisturbed atop every other emotion that wafted across the atmosphere. The aroma of sadness, death were much too familial with Sasuke. His heart thrummed in disquietude- something was not right, something was not right.
He walked around the establishment hoping to find her chakra signature which as of now simply didn't exist. In search of Neji Hyūga's engraved stone he stumbled upon a cold carcass.
A carcass.
Sasuke never knew the god, he never prayed, never asked for anything. This one time however he did, for his own good. He couldn't afford to lose more. Life was cruel- it showed Sasuke the paradise then exiled him.
"
No more, please, I'm begging, if there is any God, no more. Please, Please don't talk away any more. Don't take her away.
"
His eyes seized up the glob of a cold body, soiled in mist, laying atop the cold granite. He flipped her over and there lay Hinata Hyūga cold, blue, motionless, with no blood pumping through her heart, resurfacing her pallid skin, no air surfing her lungs or no chakra floating across her. He tried jerking her awake, this is a joke, right? Right hinata!? Her lip was badly bruised with blotches of purple across them, shriveled up cells and torn tissues. He would've mistaken her for someone else if he didn't notice a black fabric wrapped around her finger.
He noticed, the lavender tang didn't drift in his nostrils anymore; he didn't had to conspicuous to sniff it, he will never get to experience delectable food fragrance again, he will never have to worry about listening to an annoying stutter or the distracting blush that rose in her cheeks, he will never have to worry about carrying a drunk woman to her bedroom, or a clumsy woman injuring herself left and right, he will never have to worry about holding her hair back when she vomited her guts out, no fights regarding whether the seasoning was under or over even though it was perfect, he won't have anyone to tease anymore, no person to share his liquor with or no person to talk about his day, no one to feed him his favorite food or no one to secretly kiss, no one to look after an equally annoying smaller version or none, no one , not anymore.
Now he knew why her chakra signature disappeared; dead people don't have any.
I know there will be one person ready to type Naruto is not like that, he would never. This is my story and I do whatever I want with it.
I took some heavy decisions regarding my future so mentioned earlier I may or may not continue the story. According to reviews it'll be decided. So if you want to know what happens further you need to ask for it in the reviews. Otherwise Hinata is dead, story finished.
Love you guys for all the previous reviews.